10/6/06 It's a girl!

Introducing Katrina Ruth Doudna, born Thursday Oct. 5th at 5:55am at Community Hospital of Los Gatos!


Her brothers were very happy to meet her, talking joyfully about "baby sister" and both remembered her name. Gabriel got pretty mad when we wouldn't let him hold her and demanded to know why!

It would have made perfect sense for me to stay in the hospital one more day, since the soreness from the postpartum surgery makes it very hard to get around and lift things, let alone take care of little boys and baby. In fact, if Peggy hadn't been available, I would have stayed another night.

Ironically, we originally chose this Los Gatos hospital because of its relaxed "rooming-in" policies, but I ended up making liberal use of the nursery this time. I sent Dave home, and slept as much as possible the night Katrina was born, with the nursery nurses attending to her every whim instead of me. There was one constant disturbance though: a baby crying! The nerve! The walls are thin, and I was privvy to all the activity of the family next door, which included a whole lot of newborn crying. That, of all sounds, is one I can't tune out, even when I know it's not mine. The combination of noise and basic boredom made me want to finish recovering at home, where there's only noise.

Katrina has already introduced us to some common baby follies we escaped with the first two. Such as: gas. You can hear her little tummy rumbling about, and burping her actually produces burps (though not enough). Her nursing is mostly inefficient nibbling, and her brief alert periods are spent crying. That includes a high-pitched squeak which I think might be pain from gas, but I can't say yet.

The few times she's really opened her eyes and looked at things, she takes on a look of horror, especially when looking at my face (quite understandable right now!). Her furrowed, focused brow is exactly like that of her older older brother, and her newborn face shape and dark grayish eyes are also reminiscent of Gabriel. Let's hope she doesn't take after him in other ways -- one is enough!

SO many people have sent us well wishes and congratulations, which are so appreciated! It will take me days, if not weeks, to respond to all (and you know me, I want to!), but in the meantime it's heartwarming to receive so many genuine expressions of joy on our behalf. You all know this has been a hard road for us, and we are so, so glad to be moving on the next stage, and so grateful that the next stage is being ushered in among so much support from good friends and family.

10/6/06

10/5/06 2-5 min

short, intense, erratic but start every 2-5 min
breathing heavily to break it up
want the epidural NOW
Kevin's on his way
this could be it
wait, a moment of peace.....now I just want to go to sleep.
if so it'd be one heck of a false alarm
nope it's back OWWWWW

10/4/06 A makeover

This blog looks different now. I changed the template to one with longer lines. Any trouble viewing, let me know.

I look different now too. I got a hair trim today, breaking my usual once-a-year trend. Shorter is a little easier to deal with swimming, though that "should" only matter for a few more days. Really, my grand visions of myself with a slim, lithe body and looking stylish and confident includes shorter hair. Besides, I always get compliments from the haircutters and I could use the ego boost right now. Of course, it's in their best interests to gush over any customer, I'm no fool. But they always correctly observe that my hair never undergoes any treatments. It's apparently quite rare to run across a 43-year-old woman who's never permed or colored her hair, and doesn't use any products or appliances, even at a place that serves almost entirely men and charges only $8 per haircut. Inexpensive shampoo and conditioner, air dry, ponytail, a 15-minute cheap cut every year or so, that's it. For now. When the grays really take over, vanity will trump sloth.

The various encouraging signs I had been getting of impending baby have all seem to have faded. I was getting hopeful it'd be soon, but that this point, I have a bad feeling baby is going to hang in there until due date. Wah.

10/4/06

10/3/06 39 weeks

Doctor's appointment today...all normal. At next week's appointment, if there is one, I'll undergo a sonogram and nonstress test to make sure we don't have an amniotic fluid volume issue again. My belly is measuring 37cm though, so there's no urgent concern as there was when I was at this stage with Gabriel. Next week's appointment is on my due date -- at that point, Baby# will actually be late!

I have such wonderful friends. Five of my mom friends have already brought us wonderful meals, and I've been making use of them! Shopping and cooking is really challenging, and completely impossible with round ligament attacks (which I'm sorry to say have resurfaced tonight). My friends are also really good cooks. And so generous. Thanks all!

I really don't like this new trend of kids' pants with "adjustable waistbands." They just don't work. The elastic is too flimsy, and they don't adjust well. i just got Julian three brand-new pairs of size 2T jeans from Old Navy, and I'm going to end up giving them away. I have to "adjust" them way, way down, but not only do they still fall off him, but then they don't flex enough for him to pull back up himself! To make matters worse, it looks like all Old Navy kids' jeans have this feature now. I'd much rather have the old-style elasticized waist all around. And if Old Navy jeans, usually fairly slim, don't fit Julian, then it's a hopeless cause for Gabriel, whose proportions are even skinnier. Old Navy does have "slim" sizes for boys, starting in boys' size 5, but I know better than that. Gabriel's butt is still barely a toddler size 3T. Trouble is, most 3T jeans are too short for him.

Gabriel had a long playdate this afternoon at Quinton's house. I am so grateful to Lisa! I dropped him off at Quinton's house around 1pm, and Lisa offered to bring him home. I told her to bring him home whenever she needed, and she ended up keeping him for dinner and bringing him home around 7:30pm. Wow! She said they Quinton and Gabriel played a lot together, though she did comment that Gabriel is indeed quite focused on one thing. I asked Gabriel if he had a good time and he said, "Not with Quinton, though!" -- right in front of Lisa! Geez, rude kid. Gabriel claimed he didn't like that Quinton likes to wrestle, though Gabriel wrestles all the time with Julian so I don't entirely believe that. And much of their playdate was spent playing togethe with toys (like Legos and a gear toy). I need to do more playdates, including here at home, so that Gabriel gets more one-on-one interaction. Certainly I owe Lisa a playdate!

It so happened that today, Julian sang and putzed around upstairs instead of napping, so not having Gabriel around until bathtime was perfect timing. Dave went to Tuesday Dinner tonight, so it was just me and Julian for dinner. I almost got a feel for what it'd be like just have one child -- so different! Indeed, the moment Gabriel got home, both boys got way rowdy and I was back to bark-instructions mode to get them through the bedtime process (which, incredibly, I succeeded in completing by 8:00). But then when they're calm and I read them a book, it's so sweet to have them on either side of me. And they were happy to see each other.

Stacey commented in email today that she's forgotten what it's like to have just one kid. That hit me -- soon, we'll forget what it's like to have just two. It seems SO far away, but at the same time, it's not soon enough!!

10/3/06

10/2/06 Mom has a great night

What a rare treat! I actually slept great last night. That's what a miserable pregnancy does: so many bad things have happened to me that things like poor sleep become secondary issues -- but they wouldn't be if that's all there was. Last night, I wasn't restless, I got right back to sleep if I woke up, and was actually relaxed all night. What a difference that made getting up this morning.

I should list the things that haven't bothered me in this pregnancy:

No sacro-iliac dysfunction, pain or problems
No sinus congestion
No nausea or vomiting (severe gastric issues, but not these)
No swelling
No serious problems (gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, incompetent cervix, premature labor, anemia, preeclampsia, bleeding, need for bedrest, etc)

In fact, for a while there, I was told all the time how "cute" I was pregnant (nothing's "cute" at this stage though). I never heard that with the first two. But I was hearing it every day, along with the comment that I'm "all baby." It's true that I'm carrying much differently this time, with my belly sticking straight out, and not many changes to speak of elsewhere. The rest of me has slimmed out quite a bit, actually. I'm down to a net weight gain of 18 pounds from my first pregnancy weigh-in at 5 weeks (though I started out heavy for me), putting me at the same weight I was at with my first pregnancy at this stage. Tomorrow I'm 39 weeks along, and I'll get weighed again. Something tells me my recently renewed Starbucks habit will manifest itself!

Dave and I both think we made a mistake with the color of our new closet doors and the surrounding trim. Photo: on the right is the current color: white with white MDF trim. What we think we should have done is paint the doors the wall color, with the wood-stain trim (poorly mocked up on the left with my meager Photoshop non-skills). Just what we need at the tail end of a remodel, and a baby due any day: changes.

Mom asked me today about how I felt about a boy or a girl, and if I felt any advantages to a girl (of course). But though it's not rational, and certainly not relevant, it's just easier to imagine having a boy again, because boys are my day-to-day reality. A girl seems like just a theory right now, as any baby does before they're actually here, a brand-new twist to life that's impossible to truly envision until it's tangible. Boys, on the other hand, are a constant, completely present and real to me in the most mundane and immediate ways. Neither Dave or I have any strong feelings one way or another about the sex of the baby, but it's far easier for both of us to picture another boy, naturally, because our lives are all about little boys right now. And that could get flipped on its ear at any time now!

I realized today swimming (which is when I get my best thinking done, as my mind is liberated from my body) that this pregnancy has physically isolated me. I can't hug anyone, not well. I'm constantly assuming a defensive position if anyone gets close to me, prepared to ward off any contact that will create pain or pressure. At night, if Dave snuggles up to me, or even so much as rests his hand on my shoulder, most of the time I push him away, unable to handle any more sensory input. If the boys need a hug, I brace myself, wince, reposition them so they don't push on me, and end the contact as quickly as I can. How awful! Of course, when the baby's here, I'll be in physical contact with another body all the time -- famine, then feast. But at least then I'll be able to really hug my family again.

10/2/06

10/1/06 A strange night

Last night I woke up around 4:30am, feeling a distinct cramp. I was very restless, couldn't get comfortable, was alternately too hot or too cold, and every time I started to drift off, I'd feel another cramp. They were all accompanied by the nasty hard-lump feeling of a Braxton-Hicks contraction, so I wasn't convinced labor was starting...or was it? Could it be?

Unfortunately, no. I finally drifted off to sleep around 6am, was awaken twice more by the crampy sensation, and then it all went away. I did feel yet more pressure in the pelvic area today, and am increasingly uncomfortable walking and standing, if that's even possible. Well, minus the round ligament pain -- that trumps all discomforts and pains in walking or standing. But none of that since Monday, I think -- thank goodness!

I took the boys to Erin's birthday party today, a sweet affair in which Kristi hired a mobile petting zoo. They set up a fenced area with rabbits, pigs, and goats; and have a pony to ride too. The boys were mildly interested in this, but quickly got distracted by the fun play areas, including a slide setup and a playhouse.
It was interesting watching Gabriel interact with the other boys -- well, mostly boys, plus Gina, as usual. I was chatting with Benny (Lisa's husband, and father of Quinton), when I saw Gabriel push and knock over Quinton. I've never seen him knock over another kid. Benny said that Quinton had pushed Gabriel too, so we went over to scold them for pushing and make them apologize. Quinton said that Gabriel said he wasn't going to be his friend, something Gabriel says often. I told Gabriel that sort of thing isn't nice to say, and Benny told Quinton that while that's not nice, he can't push. Both boys apologized.

But we both knew it all fell on deaf ears, and it wasn't long before conflict over a ball turned into a multi-kid pileup. I was told later that Gina and Gabriel had teamed up together, and were either taking the ball or defending it from another team. All normal play, though we have to instruct our kids not to hit or push, intervene when it gets out of control (after the pileup, Lisa confiscated the balls, to everyone's relief), and otherwise just let it happen. For the most part, they all played pretty well together. As is so often the case, the running and ball competition was all boys, plus Gina -- who's also the tallest and heaviest of the group. I've never seen the sweet birthday girl, Erin, in such a fray!

Gina was so sweet and kissed Gabriel good-bye, then he ran back to give her a hug, then Julian had to also...though both Betsy and I were anxious to sit down in our cars (she's pregnant too after all), we were glad to see this little lovefest.

I'm actually starting to lose confidence that I'm ever going to have a pain-free day again. Will I ever get used to this heaving, lumbering body?! I'd better, 'cause I'm starting to think it's going to be like this forever!

10/1/06

9/30/06 My hero

This morning started at 5:30am when Gabriel appeared in our room, crying hard about his "cheek" hurting. Yesterday morning, he'd complained about his ear, then again in the early afternoon, and again in the evening, crying hard for about half an hour. I think I've seen Gabriel cry that long, other than in anger, maybe three times in his life.

So Dave called the pediatrician during Gabriel's gymnastics class this morning, and by then, Gabriel wasn't complaining about it. We thought maybe the pain was due to a permanent molar is coming in (according to the dentist 2 weeks ago). The advice nurse said to watch it, give him Motrin (we had been), and bring him in Monday if need be.

Meanwhile, I went for a swim, came home and took a nap. I heard everyone getting back home, heard a little crying, then it was quiet again. A few minutes after I got up, Dave returned with the boys and a bag from Rite-Aid. Turned out, while I was napping, Gabriel complained again about his ear, Dave called the pediatrician again and zoomed him there for the last appointment of the morning, at noon. Diagnosis: ear infection. Prescription: antibiotics.

(Recently Dave read that the newest approach to ear infections is to see if they clear on their own in 24-48 hours, rather than instantly prescribing antibiotics. But when your very non-complainer kid cries miserably for half an hour one night, then shows up at your bedside at 5:30am crying in pain, it's pretty hard to follow that.)

When Dave got home with the boys, he took care of giving Gabriel his medicine, extracting a tiny pebble from Julian's palm, assorted butt-wiping, doling out milk...all allowing me to come out of a groggy state and sit and have some lunch in peace. Finally, at 2pm, sufficiently rested and fed, I took over, giving the boys a late lunch and getting Julian down for a nap without incident (Gabriel had already curled up on the couch under a blanket voluntarily).

I was so, so grateful to Dave for whisking Gabriel off to the pediatrician and then to the pharmacy, and without consulting me. Not that I'd have minded being consulted of course, but there really was no need, and I really, really needed the rest -- he saw what needed to be done and did it. That's exactly what I need in my compromised state! I was so happy to wake up and find that Gabriel had really been taken care of. Modern times notwithstanding, as the Mom, I'm always the one directing domestic traffic, and perhaps all moms think in the back of their heads that no one can do a better job than they can. But days like today greatly increase our confidence in dads, even though on the surface it might not seem like that big a deal. It really was. Especially now, it's so wonderful to have a day that really shows that I count on Dave.

In the afternoon, everyone napped (I rested again, with reluctance, but my lower back demanded it), then we got ready to go to a housewarming party at Kevin and Angela's. This was a lot of fun: there were so many kids there that the boys were endlessly entertained. Gabriel spent a lot of time staring at an oven that had both an electronic and mechanical digital clock, making sure they were synchronized. Julian at one point had no fewer than six little girls surrounding him playing soccer with him (the youngest girl being about 6). Julian was quite the charmer this evening, being very social and very cute, and at one point planting himself in a small family room where grownups had set up music equipment and were playing and singing. He really, really likes music.

I had a great time catching up with our longtime moto-friends at this party; it may be my last social event pregnant. I hope!

The Braxton-Hicks contractions are getting more frequent and more intense, often pushing down on me in such a way that gives me a crampy, and actually borderline painful, feeling. But crampy feelings that are accompanied by the irritating pressure of a B-H contraction are meaningless. It's the other occasional crampy sensations that get my hopes up. But, so far, nothing. At least we know one thing: the baby will be born in October 2006, since as I type, September has only two hours left.

9/30/06

9/29/06 Baby3 holds out

I had a lot of weird cramping and pressure last night. Each pang brought on a fresh wave of hope that this would be IT! But, it all went away. From experience with Julian's birth, odd feelings like that will gradually escalate if it's really leading to labor. I get more odd feelings now, but they're not close to converging into actual contractions.

It all seems so far away, yet I know that it's a very, very real and huge thing that's going to happen in the next few (well, 12 or so) days.

A 4th day with no round ligament attacks. Incredible! I remember from my motorcycling days that on particularly arduous stretches that I'd ask myself: "if I could remove one discomfort, which would it be?" (headache, butt hurts, freezing fingers, etc.) Somehow that helped me focus on one thing, rather than several. Well, if a wish-fairy had presented itself last week and I'd have been able to pick one thing to get rid of, no question it'd have been the nasty leg zaps. I'd have gotten my main wish -- not a hallmark of this pregnancy so far!

Yesterday I had Julian all day, and Gabriel for the afternoon. Thankfully, I got a good snooze during Julian's nap, partly thanks to Gabriel falling asleep on his vaunted Teddy Bear.

Today, I had help from Sarah, a wonderful sitter that Tonya recommended. Tonya was closed today, so we needed childcare coverage Just In Case, but I'm also never sure how every day will shape up, and handling the boys all day myself can be very risky (though I was basically OK yesterday).

Still, I'm so glad Sarah was here, I was able to swim (yay), grocery-shop (barely), and rest (essential). Best of all, the boys had a fun entertaining day, something I can't really give them right now (sniff). Sarah also got to know the boys and our household, just in case we need to call on her this weekend. Peggy is also available, and Stacey is our fallback, until Tonya is back in action on Monday.

So while we don't exactly have a coherent Plan for the weekend, we have coverage. Besides, "plans" have a way of forming themselves when it comes to the unknowns of childbirth.

Only one more day left of September -- then October won't sound so far away!

9/29/06

9/28/06 Julian goes to a birthday party

Aww, isn't this adorable. Kyan (3rd from left) turns 2 on Sep.30th, and his very-together mom brought things for a little birthday party for him at Tonya's. I knew Tonya had critical mass of kids around the same age (all born within 6 months of each other), but didn't realize they are all boys.

Left to right: Lance, Julian, Raj, Reese, Kyan, Zahaan, and Rohan.

(Zahaan is at Tonya's because of a 15-minute conversation I struck up with his very nice and friendly mother at Portal Park one day -- I recommended Tonya and Zahaan has been there for months now! He's exactly one month older than Julian, and Lance is 7 days younger. Kyan is the youngest.)

No sign of Baby#3 yet, but things are changing. One huge change for the better is the recession of the painful round ligament attacks. That makes a huge difference in my mood and in my day. Still, my walking is very impaired and I live with intense, constant, and daily-increasing downward pressure, and on my organs. Every new little feeling I have raises my hopes that this is finally IT, but Dr. Teagle said on Tuesday that if she had to guess (and she did have to since I insisted!) it'd still be another week. C'mon baby, you're baked, it's time. 12 more days until Due Date!

Thursday 9/28/06

9/27/06 The home stretch

(I've got to learn just to post little notes -- it doesn't have to be a comprehensive tome! And doesn't absolutely have to have photos, though I always like entries better that way.)

I'm now 38 weeks along, and very, very ready to have baby#3. Incredibly, the last 2 days, things have actually improved somewhat, with no major round ligament pain to speak of. I can't believe what a difference this makes to my day and to my overall outlook. I'm still very limited in what walking and maneuvering I can do, but I'm not limping now and not at risk of a brutal stab when I stand up. I am so much happier throughout the day without that!

The boys have been really good lately, especially together. In the mornings, they've been playing together before Dave and I get up, and five minutes can actually elapse before anyone cries! Sometimes, even 45 minutes! It used to be that the moment they were in the same room, (usually) Julian was crying. Both boys have made some real maturity leaps lately, both in mannerisms, use of language, and reactions to things. I haven't even had to send Gabriel to his room in at least a week!

Remodeling is still dragging along, down to little details in our bedroom, and larger ones in the other two bedrooms. A lot of work has been done on little closets in the boys' room and the babys' room, and soon they will just be awaiting doors, which I've ordered. I'm very ready to be done with having contractors here and our upstairs being living space again, instead of a construction zone.

Here's Julian showing off his little crown-hat he "made" in Tonya's preschool. I've had to make use of a lot of childcare lately, and will continue to through October. But come November, I'll scale back to just a preschool schedule, since in theory, I'll have my body back. I am so SO looking forward to that!

- mommieN.
9/27/06

8/2/06: Julian has his first accident-free day!

Yay! Julian did it! He made it from morning to night in the same pair of underpants and shorts! Good for you, little boy!

It wasn't a particularly challenging day, as he was at Tonya's all day, but that has its own distractions and challenges too. Still, as became clear in the first few days of underpants, this has been swimmingly easy. It's only taken him a few days to learn when not to go, to wait and to consolidate. He goes far less often now than he did just a few days ago, and when he does go, there's a lot more to it. I thought Gabriel was pretty easy to potty-train, but Julian has made it downright trivial. (Of course, half of dealing with Gabriel was his typical resistance-for-the-sake-of-resistance.) Hmm...I hope I don't jinx anything by speaking in the past tense (of course, setbacks are to be expected, but no more diapers for Julian, just Pull-Ups for sleeping).

Gabriel made a teensy bit of progress last night in night-training too. Mostly, night-training has meant us getting him up late at night to pee, and then he's still wet in the morning. In the almost 3 weeks that we've been trying, he's only had 4 dry mornings. But this morning, he came downstairs in a new pair of pajamas, and Dave remembered hearing activity upstairs around 4am. Apparently, Gabriel had woken up wet, and then changed his pajamas, taken his wet sheet and piddle pad and put them in the washer, then got the clean piddle pad and a clean sheet from a shelf, put them on his bed, and went back to sleep! The big breakthrough there is that he woke up at all. I think he's a long way from night-training, but this was an encouraging baby step.

I'm so glad Tonya is open again this week, I've really needed the time off. Partly, I'm getting to the point where all the bending, standing, getting up off the floor, lifting, etc, in taking care of two little kids is pretty hard, and makes me heavy-headed and dizzy. But also, I've needed, and wanted, time to catch up on remodeling and financial things, and the concentration and focus is a huge relief. I don't know, maybe I'm just not cut out to be a full-time mom, I really go crazy without being able to really think. A fine time for such an insight!

This week has brought about some schedule changes too. Gabriel's been going to a week-long sports camp from 9am to noon, skipping pre-K and skipping swim class, which is now at 10:40am for 3 weeks. So, I've been leaving the house around 8:30am with both boys, giving Dave a much-needed morning break (and a rare peaceful breakfast), then taking Gabriel to sports camp. On a swim class day, I then take Julian to the Y so I can squeeze in a short workout (but no swim since the pool isn't open for lap swim at that time), then zoom to swim class at 10:40am.

Next week, when Gabriel doesn't have sports camp, I'll take them straight to the Y, then to swim class. I like that better than what I was doing, which was swim class first, then the Y; it's less exhausting for me. The one downside is that I don't get to swim at the Y, but I'm starting to really dislike swimming there anyway.

On Mondays and Wednesdays, when the boys are in childcare all day, I've been going to the CA Sports Center in Sunnyvale, which has a huge pool for competitive swimming, and lots of lanes open for lap swim at lunchtime. I absolutely love swimming there, especially compared to the Y: I never have to circle swim with 5 or 6 poor swimmers as I often have to at the Y, the water is clearer, cooler, and deeper, and it's outdoors. It just feels SO much better. No matter how much I'm dragging, I swim there any day I get the chance.

Today, I had a headache, I was really tired, and feeling like I could barely move, but I forced myself to go swim. But the moment I dove into the water, I was instantly cured. It was like a cleansing bath, one that revitalized me, made me feel strong and mobile and made every movement enjoyable, and worked through stiffness in my back, sciatic stabs in my leg, massaged my tricky sacro-iliac joint, and even solved my headache. No, I must never EVER miss out on a swim if it can be helped at all.

So what about Gabriel's sports camp? He's learning soccer, basketball, and baseball, though really most of what I've seen are little exercises to get the kids learning to play in groups and on teams, take turns, follow instructions and such. For example, the first day, he stood in a circle with other kids while they kicked a ball to each other. Today I watched for a while as they did a sort of tag game: the kids in the yellow jerseys ran around and tagged other kids, who then had to freeze when tagged.


Gabriel claims he doesn't like it, but the instant he's there, he runs to join the group and doesn't stop smiling or running. His pal Gina is there too, though to my surprise, it's taken her a little more getting-used to; Betsy says she can be hesitant in new situations. I've never, ever seen Gina hesitate!

One thing that really struck me the first day was the difference between the girls and the boys. The boys all joined the group and ran right away, but the girls were far more reticent, and stood and watched, holding hands in pairs! One Dad told me that he had no idea whose hand his daughter (pink hat) was holding; apparently the two girls just met and found instant comfort in standing together. Of course, some boys can be reluctant too (like Julian), but none in this group.

Gina wasn't quite like the other girls, as usual, and did join right in the running (that's her in the gray shirt chasing Gabriel in the orange shirt). By the time we pick the kids up, the girls are running around and playing equally with the boys; it just struck me how it took them so much more warm-up time. There are also quite a few more boys than girls in this camp. Gabriel has mentioned that he made a friend there though, McKenna. Naturally, a girl.

Music to any mother's ears: "Mommy, can I please have more fish?".

Julian ate the better part of a trout filet tonight, himself! I made broccoli, rice and fish for dinner, and just didn't have the energy to make the boys chicken (and wanted to save my get-out-of-the-kitchen-free card, of Trader Joe's frozen chicken nuggets, for another time). I put a few bites of fish on the boys' plates, anticipating complete rejection, but to my amazement, Julian gobbled it down. He ate most of mine, and twice as much as Dave did. Even Gabriel ate his bites of fish, but probably only because he heard my carefully engineered comment to Julian that trout was Gabriel's favorite. Just goes to show: if you really don't want to make kid food, don't! (Of course, I often do want to make kid food: it's fast and to tell the truth, I like macaroni and cheese!).

A few other photos of general life here. It seems that they're mostly of Julian, perhaps because he does more varied things. There are only so many playing-with-train photos I can take of Gabriel! (Also, some of these photos of Julian were taken while Gabriel was in his room being punished for...oops, nowadays we don't do that, we say "cooling off" (oh please)....for a nasty new habit of spitting at me. And not in play, in clear defiance when he's been told to do something, or not to do something. A very obnoxious new behavior, and infuriating -- never do you want to smack someone so much as when they do that sort of thing, but I'm sure it'd be lost on Gabriel.)

I should break down and take a picture of myself; it's downright shocking how huge I am. My belly sticks out so far it looks like a shelf, and it's even more uncomfortable than it looks. Funny thing is, when I'm standing in water, I'm really not all that big, but without the water to support my belly, it just hangs right out. (In the water, I now absolutely have to wear a maternity bathing suit that Steph sent me -- and thank goodness for that! I just can't get away with a regular suit anymore, I'm too big.) At least my stomach proper isn't tormenting me as badly. I still have bad tastes in my mouth, heartburn, general sick-to-my-stomach feelings, sometimes pain, but it's not unbearable anymore as it was the first four months.

On an unrelated technical note, I'm actually starting to think about sending out email updates again and terminating this blog. There are many reasons for this idea, none of which by itself is compelling, but in total makes me think about it. I like having the kids' lives archived in email, on my own computer, in a format I can control. Readers seem to prefer having the updates pushed to them, rather than having to check the Web site. I prefer the look of inline photos, but blogspot seems to have a problem with uploading multiple pictures at a time, and I have to do some crude HTML editing to put the photos inline, so the photo part is actually more time-consuming and error-prone. Finally, I'd kinda rather that "Gabriel and Julian" not show up on a Google search, though I can't pinpoint exactly why. The one good thing is that I'm not making myself do this every day, and seem to have settled into something akin to once a week or two. Of course, this could change tomorrow, as I'm never sure how I'm going to feel at any given moment.

Ouch! One thing I can say about #3, he or she is one bony baby! I am constantly getting prodded and poked from inside, and it's getting downright painful. It's bizarre and weird even to me to see limbs sticking out from my poor overstretched belly, but it happens all the time. Gabriel was a kicker (lots of rapid knocking movements from one place), Julian was a stretcher, and this one is a poker. And verry busy! I wonder who this little person will be.

8/2/2006

7/28/06 Julian on his way!

Today was Day#6 of underpants for Julian. And he's doing so well, I'm afraid I'm going to get overconfident!

The first day, last Sunday (7/23), it was a big deal that he told us he had to go once, and we had piles of wet underpants. But by yesterday (Thursday), he only had two accidents, and only one of those was of the "wet but doesn't say anything" variety, and today, he only had one! The one he had today was actually a poop accident, rare for him, but it happened while he was outside, and he came right in to tell me (given this little boy's struggle with his stiff bowels, it's quite understandable). Now he's going less often now (learning to consolidate), can wait a few minutes when he announces it's time to go, and is much more willing to go before we get in the car or leave someplace. And he's been to the Y's Childwatch and my old gym's daycare four times this week, a huge challenge for any new potty-trainer. Next step is for him to learn to handle his clothes himself -- not all his underpants are easy to pull down, and some of his shorts aren't either.

At this rate, he'll night-train before Gabriel! (And ugh, don't get me started on that ... complete opposite of Julian's success, and we have no idea what to do.) I'm not sure I dare yet to say he's done, but he's so close I see no reason to go back to diapers (and I just bought a huge box, darn). I'm so proud of him!

Fri.7/28/06

7/23/06: Gabriel and Julian's REAL heat wave

Forgive me Blogfather, for I have sinned: it's been weeks since my last confession. Our trip back East and various other things have conspired against me, but now I feel the urge to spew once again.

It is hot. Hot Hot Hot here in the Bay Area. We're not used to Tucson weather around here, except for the expectation that things will cool down at night. But even that hasn't happened: it's only gotten down to 70 or so the past two nights, not letting our house cool down enough. Our upstairs air conditioner has been on full-time, but is losing its battle against the temperature.

Normally being as pregnant as I am, this heat would be miserable, but I have plenty of other complaints to overshadow the heat (back fatigue, sciatic pain, and as always, the relentless gastric issues). And nonstop poking, prodding, kicking, bumping, pushing -- from all three children! The boys get me from the outside, and the baby from the inside: constantly climbing the walls in there. If it weren't a baby doing it, it'd be downright annoying. It's hard to say if this baby is as active as Gabriel was, since one really never remembers exactly, but if it's not more, then it's close. Julian I felt a lot too, but his motions were stretchier, not so much flip-floppy. This feels like one bony baby, too.
Friday after picking the boys up from Tonya's, I took them to our community pool. I'd been considering cancelling our membership, since it's expensive for something I rarely use, but it's turned out to be great for them.


Julian can touch the bottom in the entire shallow end of the pool, making it much easier for me to play with them since I don't have to hold and catch him the entire time. This time, Dave joined us, so I was able to take some pictures of Gabriel jumping in the water and swimming across the short side of the pool. He loved that!

After swimming, we went to Spoons for dinner -- yes, out to dinner again. Incredibly, both boys were really good. For once, being tired and hungry worked in our favor: they peacefully ate, then Gabriel rested on my lap. They were wiped out.

Saturday we went to Dave's company picnic, at, of all places in the midst of a brutal heat wave, the Beach Boardwalk in Santa Cruz. About the last place I want to be on a hot day is a crowded amusement park, but Santa Cruz being by the ocean was cooler (though still very hot), and right on the beach! Julian has never been to a beach.

After a few kiddie rides and lunch, we went to the beach which was also very crowded. And the water cold -- despite the heat, people just don't play in the surf the way we did as kids at Jones Beach. It gets deep fast, it is pretty cold, and the surf is a lot less predictable.


Nevertheless, Gabriel got into the groove running from the surf (until he fell in), and Julian got over his initial reluctance with a circle running game.

The one thing I underestimated was the draw of the sand: their favorite thing was trying to make sand castles. Time to try a nice safe lake beach for them!

In other news, after 6 straight nights of a wet bed, Gabriel finally kept his bed dry last night, though with a lot of help. Dave's been waking Gabriel up to go, right before we go to bed, which hasn' t been helping. That's been discouraging: no signs of progress at all, except that Gabriel has gotten more used to, and more agreeable about, getting woken up to go. Many people would suggest that he's just not ready, but his new resistance to night-training and his saying "I wanted to sleep but the pee-pee wouldn't listen to me, so I went" tells me he's aware of it, making conscious decisions, and is starting to think of peeing in his bed as his birthright. So it's time. That kid has amazing control, even though he's also a heavy sleeper.

But last night Dave woke him up twice, but most importantly: Gabriel got up himself to go once early this morning, then back to bed. No doubt being taken to the toilet helped that happen, but it's an important first step. Gabriel was proud of being dry this morning, and of course we made a big deal of it. Despite all the laundry, neither Dave or I are anywhere near ready to give up. My sense is that this isn't a bladder maturity thing with him, he's ready.

And, today, Sunday July 23rd, we're starting a potty-training experiment with Julian! So far, when we take him to the potty and persuade him to try to go, he goes, though he also just pees without telling us. Still, I'm ready to give it a fighting shot. We're doing lots of laundry for Gabriel anyway, after all.

Today it's once again brutally hot, though we're a little better prepared. Dave lowered the A/C temp upstairs and ran it all night, and now we're using a big fan to pull some cool air from upstairs to the downstairs, making a big difference down here. It's only 80 instead of 90! The boys are outside playing in a backyard sprinkler; I can't imagine how to keep them indoors even on a day like this. I recall my friend Tom's mother describing summer in Tucson (where Tom lives): it's like winter in Long Island. You just stay inside in the summer (though in Tucson, you do have a little time in the morning before 9am). That's what it's like right now. Whew!

29 weeks along today. My friend Helen, due in late September with her 2nd boy, says at 30 weeks you can start the countdown. It can't come soon enough for me!

Oh, how could I forget, such a nice moment: Saturday when we went to Santa Cruz, I wore a blue flowered maternity shirt that has a little lace trim and ruffled sleeves (very unlike me). And I got such a nice compliment from my #1 guy: "I like your pretty shirt, Mommy." Dave told me later that Gabriel told him that as well. Such a surprise coming from my all-boy firstborn, but how nice.

7/23/06

6/23/06 Gabriel and Julian's heat wave

It's been HOT the past few days! Really unusually hot, so much so that I close all the doors and windows downstairs during the day, then open them all up at night. Usually it's the other way around. It still cools off at night, but it's been warm enough in the evenings to stand outside comfortable in tank top and shorts.

Last Tuesday (June 19) we didn't have swim class, so I took the boys to the Cupertino fountains to cool off. Even though we'd been to the much louder and more intimidating Los Gatos fountains two days before, Julian would still have nothing to do with them. I don't know what happened, he liked fountains last year!
Gabriel, on the other hand, played in them nonstop, having a fabulous time. Gina was his usual cohort, but he also played with Erin and another boy we don't know, who showed him how to sit on the fountain and direct the water with his legs, which he found hilarious.


Lucky me, I got to sit in the shade with a reticent Julian and chat with my Mom friends, though Julian did relax later when one of my friends rolled a ball to him. But it was way too hot to be running after a ball, and within minutes, he was all flushed.
Even after stopping for a few bites of lunch, Gabriel went back out to play in the water. Oddly, in the pool, lately Gabriel has been pooping out before Julian, but not in fountains -- especially when Julian won't go near them. What is his deal?!

Thursday the 22nd, I had a horrible morning, I was unrecoverably exhausted and just couldn't function. Dave's been out of town, so I've had to get up at 6:30am with Julian, and it's killing me -- I HATE being up early, it ruins my day. I stumbled through dressing and breakfast for the boys, falling asleep with every blink of my eyes, and tried to put my head down sitting on a chair, but I got interrupted again and again and again. No surprise; two little boys need constant intervention. It was so frustrating that just 20 minutes was all I needed to take the edge off. And I'd easily have had that if I had just Gabriel or Julian, but as usual, both together means even a few seconds to run upstairs to rotate laundry is risky.

I finally resorted to something I've never done once: putting on a video just so I could rest. But I felt so bad about that that I couldn't sleep! I got up and saw them zoned out on the couch, on a hot summer morning, and I felt terrible about how I'd been -- grumpy, impatient, shouting, trying to ignore them. I was finally awake, so I got a whole bunch of things together, then took them to the Y where I did a little weights work and swam, and they had lunch.

Then I took them to our local pool to cool off, and that was so much fun. I was delighted to discover that Julian can stand up in the shallow end of the pool, which meant I didn't have to hold him the whole time or pull him out of over-his-head water every 5 seconds. This made it much more fun for me; I could splash around and play with them, go underwater and chase them and relax a lot more. Gabriel kept practicing swimming back and forth between the steps and the shallow end, but he wanted to get out much sooner than Julian did. In fact, I was so busy playing with them that I didn't get any pictures -- odd for me!

That night, what a treat for me: I asked Peggy to come over and take care of the boys while I attended my last skating class (sniff!). The ice rink was a wonderful place to be on such a hot day. And I almost sort-of got some momentum on doing back crossovers, which had been my main goal. I really want to find a way to keep skating and keep learning. Maybe the key is Peggy, actually: she was competitive as a teenager and practiced every day, and the rink I've been going to even asked her to teach. So who knows, maybe we can go to skating outings and I can ask her to help me with the baby and give me some pointers! Of course, she'll have her hands full with her own baby, due in August, though Peggy is never rattled by multiple children or babies, not like me.

But now, it's Friday night, and I have less than 24 hours to gather a zillion odds and ends for our trip tomorrow. The boys are really excited about going on an airplane (though Julian says he wants to go on a helicopter instead), and I will be too once I'm ready!

6/18/06 Gabriel and Julian's Father's Day

Happy Father's Day!

Actually, I got the first treat: sleeping until **10:20** AM! More proof that you can never, ever turn a true night person into a morning person. Plus I'm shaking off days in a row of exceptionally poor sleep, especially last Friday when I had one of the worst stomach days I've had in weeks. I finally took some codeine late in the day, and it mercifully made me groggy until well into Saturday. Thanks for the sleep boost, Dad.

After I finally got up this morning, I kicked into gear and made a big bang-up breakfast. Then we gave Dave his Father's Day presents, which were a scrapbook page I made of his Rallycross weekend, and a pair of studio photos of me and the boys wearing their father's shirt, for his office. (Dave wore this blue plaid shirt the day Gabriel was born, then put it on for Julian's birth, and wears it on their birthdays.) He didn't say much, but I think he liked it.

Then, of course, the best Father's Day present: some time off! It's been hot this weekend, so I took the boys to the fountains in Los Gatos.

Last year, it took some coaxing to get Julian into the water spurts, when he had just barely started walking. This year, he wouldn't go near them! He was quite content to sit in the shade and watch all the other kids, including many much younger than he is, zoom through the fountains. (Note the ever-present crossed feet: am I the only one who thinks this habit is relentlessly adorable?)
Gabriel has never had any issues with water and wasted no time running like mad through the fountains and getting soaking wet. I had fun chasing him around and going through myself too, once again one of the very few grownups willing to get wet (odd since it really has been hot today!).

Gabriel got cold after a while and then was content to sit wrapped in a towel and have an apple snack with his timid brother.

Driving to Los Gatos was the first test run of having the boys sit right next to each other in carseats. This could be the downfall of our plan to keep the Outback: fighting. They did start in at one point, but I managed to control it with very stern and very sincere warnings. It seems to help if I follow it up with a very horrified-sounding voice about how dangerous it is to fight while I'm driving. Certainly Julian takes it seriously.

I remember Dad (my Dad) turning around to whack me on the head while he was driving when I was a kid, and those visions come to mind when I think about how mad I'll get if they fight (mostly, Gabriel hurting Julian while he's helpless). But I also remember how much I hated that, and that mostly it made me resentful and not think at all about whatever offense I committed. I wonder what I did to deserve that; I know it wasn't from fighting (Ronan always sat next to me and I didn't physically fight with him much). Still, if there's one thing you learn from being a parent, it's that others never know the whole story, so I've learned to be a lot less judgmental of other parents. Even mine. Seems fitting on Father's Day!

Gabriel and Julian spent a lot of time with Dad this morning, helping him wash his car as I slept in. It's especially a big treat to get to hold the hose. Then when we got home from the fountains, Gabriel rushed to help Dave with yardwork (the boys absolutely love their time with Dad in the yard) while I coaxed a reluctant Julian upstairs for his nap. Then, guess what I did -- I took a nap! When I woke up, I found Gabriel and Dave snuggled up together on the couch, also napping. Nothing like a family-wide afternoon nap on Father's Day!

6/18/06

6/17/06 Gabriel and Julian get weighed

It was time...this weekend was the big experiment with carseats in the back of my car. Also, I needed to decide which carseat or booster I'd bring with me on our upcoming trip back East.

To that end, I bought a backless booster seat, rated for 40 pounds, 40 inches, and 3 years old, of which Gabriel only meets the age criteria. I know other people who've used these for travel even though their kids didn't quite fit that, and saw another similar-looking seat rated for a lower weight, so brought it home with the intention of consulting Dave.

This led to actually measuring and weighing Gabriel. And some of our dilemma is removed! His stats:

Gabriel at four and a half: 39-7/8". 32 pounds (pathetic!).

Julian at two and a half: I didn' t measure his height. 29 pounds.

So, Gabriel is close enough to 40" to call him such, and that will help feel better about using boosters. Really, weight is pretty irrelevant at this age (according to our pediatrician, it did matter for forward-facing him when he was 19 months old and still not 20 pounds) -- it's height and where the seatbelt falls on the child's shoulder that matters. But the laws about carseats mostly use weight. Another example where safety and legality aren't always in line.

Dave's first experiments with carseats in the Outback didn't look good. He had a hard time getting a carseat, a convertible harness/booster seat, and an infant seat installed -- you can sit them all in there, but actually installing securely changes how they all fit together. And, of course, there's no LATCH in the middle.

But then, Dave discovered that our gigantic-looking Britax Marathon actually fits in better than the narrow (we thought) Graco carseat we'd planned for Julian, since the Marathon is narrower at the top. Just as well, because the Graco carseat is intended for smaller toddlers and is rated up to 40 pounds, just like the Britax Roundabout that Julian is in, and Julian's head is now just a little higher than the top of the Roundabout. It's even possible that he's now technically too tall for it, though he's quite safe in it. Still, Gabriel had been in the Marathon for months by the time he was Julian's age. It's time to rotate these guys.

We decided to also get a booster seat with a back, especially since it turns out to convert to a backless booster anyway, to see if that will work. Gabriel really really wants a real seatbelt anyway, he tells me every time he straps himself into the Marathon. (A booster seat isn't installed, it just boosts them up a little and they use the car's seatbelt, not a built-in 5-point harness. The law and safety ratings are actually pretty unclear about when a child can go to a booster seat, especially when you can buy a backless booster that claims to be rated down to 1 year old!)


Finally, here's what we ended up with. We CAN cram 3 carseats into the back of the Outback, but not with a booster, since it'd be very difficult to reach the seatblet latch. The Britax Marathon, the convertible carseat/booster (in carseat mode), and the rear-facing infant seat all fit. In fact, Dave tried replacing the rear-facing infant seat with the Britax Roundabout (rear-facing) and that fit too. Wow! There's some overlap, and it's tight, but it's doable.

For my East Coast trip, I'll bring the convertible carseat/booster for Julian, and the backless booster for Gabriel. Though the back of a booster does help position the seatbelt strap so it's more comfortable, so maybe I'll see if I can fit the backful booster in the carseat bag along with Julian's carseat.

I'll be so glad someday when we're done with carseats and boosters. That won't be until at least 2012!

6/17/06

6/14/06 Gabriel and Julian sing

I'm getting more and more comments about Gabriel singing all the time! Today it was his former teacher at Kids Inc, who said another mom asked about him humming and singing as he plays. The teacher noticed it too. Our next-door neighbor also asked too, and on and off I've heard other comments too. Of course, most kids like to sing, but I'm getting enough comments from various sources that makes me think that Gabriel does it more than most kids, at least, around other people. At home, he sings to himself ALL the time as he's playing.

Thing is, he really didn't start doing that until Julian did. Julian actually sings more, and more creatively. Julian answers questions in song sometimes, or he'll make up new words to a tune, or make up a song altogether, or just sing something he knows while he's in the car. They sing together quite a bit, sometimes not even looking at each other, just singing along while they work on something. Other times, they make up a song and words and laugh together as they work it out.

It's only now dawning on me that it might be more prevalent in them than many of their peers. It reminds me of when Gabriel was a toddler and I'd tell people he liked to spin things, and most would answer that their toddler did too. But I realized later that Gabriel really really liked to spin things and did it far, far more than most other kids (to the point that it was a flag for PDD, Pervasive Development Disorder). Similarly with his lengthy and frequent tantrums, it took some years before I connected that I was living in a different tantrum world than most other moms. And so now with singing, I'm starting to wonder if Gabriel and Julian individually, and together, really sing quite a lot (where "a lot" means relative to typical little-kid singing). So I wonder if I should put them in a boys' chorus or something? In any case, it's a delightful, sweet characteristic. Not every talent or interest HAS to be followed up with a class, of course.

Last weekend, Dave was away at a Rallycross school on Saturday, and a competition on Sunday, at Thunderhill racetrack in Willows, CA. He talked our friend Paul into going, which meant great pictures. (That's Dave driving with an instructor in the car with him.)


Meanwhile, I went scrapbooking with my friends on Saturday, but first took Julian to his usual soccer class. Sunday, my mom's group had a picnic and I took the boys there, along with some Rice Krispies treats that Gabriel "helped" me make. Gabriel had a great time on this turning play structure, that my mom friend Sandy and her husband Cliff spent a lot of time turning kids on -- I think they were having more fun than the kids! Naturally, Gabriel was surrounded by girls. He seems to prefer that!Of course, Julian found a ball (also Sandy's), though was fascinated by Cassie playing in some dumped-out ice.





While we were at the park last Sunday, Julian came to me and said he had to "go poops," to my surprise. His poop training is back on track at home, but rarely if he's outside. This time, he was at a fun, distracting park and had to come find me to tell me. Good for him! After our June-July trip East, or perhaps even during, it's underpants time for him. I'd do it now, except I really don't want to deal with a new potty-trainer on a trip, in unfamiliar surroundings, airplanes, long car trips, etc. I've got to get him some fun underpants, that sort of incentive will go a long way. Gabriel still has the first set of underpants I ever got him (the Nemos), which he's had for almost 2 years now. They still fit fine, and are holding up great (Hanes), but do look a little dingy by now.

Yesterday morning, Julian came into our bedroom while I was just getting up, and climbed onto the bed and under the covers to join me. "I come seep with you," he said, then "I get under banket, there, all tuck in. You on dat side, I on dis side. We all tuck in under banket, both together." This sort of monologue is very typical of him, a play-by-play as he goes about some little task. Just about every day, I'm surprised to hear some new term from him -- not just vocabulary, but concepts, like "both" and "together." I really shouldn't be surprised; he's been saying things like that for months, but there's so much of it I have to remind myself he's only 2-1/2 and many of his 2004 peers are still just putting words together.

His excellent language completely changes how I interact with him as compared to Gabriel at this age, who was just starting to say a few words. I think of Julian as a much older kid, much less a baby, and have little conversations with him, consult him on things, explain things to him. I did with Gabriel too, but on a much different level because I didn't get any feedback. Julian also remembers things, nothing like his cousin Aidan, but this morning he commented that he has a baby in his tummy. I explained that only mommies have babies in their tummies, but I was surprised that he remembered this from a few days back. I shouldn't be, really, but Gabriel is only now coming out of his strong tendency to live and think entirely in the present, so I'm more used to that. Of course, I know that by the time he's in preschool, his peers will have caught up; really, there's really no long-term meaning to having been language-advanced, but it sure does make for a very different toddler experience. Then again, so does having a moderately sensitive, agreeable toddler!

Are Gabriel and Julian going to be the next hit brother singing act? :)

6/14/06

6/12/06 Mom falls behind

Bad blogger! Bad blogger! I know, I know, there's no need to "keep up," but wasn't that why I started this? The urge is certainly still there, but it seems that opportunity to write conflicts with bouts of feeling horrible. Or, feeling so well that I don't feel like sitting and writing.

Not last night. It took hours to be able to lie down without intense stomach pain, and then only after I gave in and took a tylenol with codeine. At dinner, there was nonstop relentless pressure on my stomach from what felt like gas, but who knows. In some ways, October seems so close, like in terms of getting our upstairs finished by then...but in other ways, October seems SO far away, like if I'm going to suffer for four solid months again!

At least the past few weeks I've been keeping a pretty good exercise regimen. Monday mornings I try to swim a little, usually only having time for 10-15 minutes, but then I go to the fitness room and stretch, do pushups, and a little bit of weights. Then Monday nights, I try to get to prenatal yoga. Tuesdays and Thursdays, more swimming, stretching, pushups and weights. Wednesdays, conditioning class at my longtime gym. Fridays, Ballecore (combination of ballet, yoga and pilates). And, of course, Thursday nights, skating, though I only have two more classes. Saturday mornings...I try to swim at the Y also, but that's dicey, since the Childwatch doesn't open until 8:30, but the lap swim closes at 8:55, so it's a pretty small window. (Dave takes Julian to soccer, and I bring Gabriel to the Y with me.)

Last Thursday, my friend Beth (who can actually skate) met me at the rink and we skated together after my class. She got a few pictures of my class, though the lighting in there makes for horrible photos. Here we are learning "spirals", really just an arabesk on skates (that's me all the way on the right). I'm really stuck on backward crossovers, that's what I most wanted to learn and I just can't do it!

Gabriel and Julian have been pretty good lately, for them, though rambunctious. They had an unusual weekend in that Dave went away for the weekend for a Rallycross class, so they got grumpy, sick me to themselves! Still, the weekend was rescued by the fact that I had a scrapbooking date with my mom pals, so I got Peggy to take care of the boys on Saturday. They were SO excited to see her, and waited for her on the front porch. Peggy left during Julian's nap, and when he woke up, he said on and off for hours, "I'm sad because Peggy's gone," then he'd forget she was gone and wander around the house calling, "Peggy, where ARE you?!". I'm sad that Peggy is expecting her 2nd baby in August and I'll probably won't call on her around then, though she never says no. Of course, I'm very happy for her, she's a great mom. I wish I could be 1/100th as calm as she is.

Two mornings ago, Julian came into our bedroom while I was still in bed, and piped, "Hi, Mommy!" Then, "let me see your hands....hey, your fingers are too long!".

Gabriel came out with something yesterday in the bathtub about having a baby in his tummy. I chuckled and told him no, only Mommies have babies in their tummies. "Not Daddies?!" he said genuinely.

Other times, he sees me chewing gum and asks me about it, and I tell him it's icky, it's only to get bad tastes out of my mouth, because I'm going to have a baby. Then he asked once, "Is the gum going to make the baby come out?". Oh, if only!

Julian pulled a plastic bag out of a crate where I keep them (in his reach, I'm sorry to say), and wanted to play with it over his head. Though I doubt he'd suffocate, it's just not a good idea, so I suggested a paper bag instead. Then, following Stephanie's lead, I cut eyeholes out for him. This turned into making the boys "masks," which they were delighted with. Julian stomps around in big steps, making growling sounds, and calls himself a monster. Amazing how easy it is to please little kids with a little creativity (which is about all I have!)

Lots more to tell, but I've got to go have breakfast.

6/12/06

5/30/06 Gabriel picks a strange place for a nap

Today was the first in what I hope is a new routine: before swim class, I prepare the boys' lunches, then we go to swim class, then to the Y where I set them up in their respective Childwatch rooms, then I go swim. Yay! And I did that. I had to cut my swim short for an initiation meeting with a fitness instructor, but I'm still so glad I got in 20 minutes.

The boys had such a good time in the Y's Childwatch that I had a hard time getting them to leave. They seem to think of it as a fun new playground. One of the Childwatchers said she was teaching Julian to read, apparently delighted in how enthusiastically he responded to a book with photos of objects with the words. (He certainly isn't reading of course, but he likes to point to a word and ask you to read it. Other than a pretty wide vocabulary his age, I doubt he's all that unusual, but maybe this lady really wants to be a preschool teacher.)

Julian has been pushing the discipline envelope lately (Gabriel always does, but that's another story). A few days ago, he was being particularly disagreeable about going upstairs for a nap, fighting me every step of the way, resisting my grand efforts at making it fun and getting him to cooperate. I had to change his diaper, and he fussed and screamed about his pants coming off, tried to keep me from taking off his diaper, and generally was being very aggressive and difficult (with a pretty nasty diaper, I might add -- he needed to be still!). Then he took to trying to kick me, and I'd had it: I smacked his knee with my hand, and said sternly, "That's ENOUGH! No kicking!". He screamed in surprise and pain, kicked me again, and got smacked again. This time, he cried in pain and sadness, and immediately capitulated and asked for hugs, which he got, for a long time. After that, he was peaches and cream, sobbing just a little, but being very cooperative. By the time I took him into his room, the storm had passed and he was his delightful self again.

Now, I know the anti-spanking advocates would say that I should instead have firmly told him, "We don't kick!" but really. I get asked from time to time "Do you spank?" as though I would have some developed philosophy about spanking. I don't. Indeed, almost all my philosophies about parenting, if I have any at all, are entirely practical. I don't spank as a matter of policy, but I don't avoid it as a matter of policy either. And it's pretty hard to ignore the practical effects of cutting short a nasty, out-of-control behavior rampage. There's no question that an occasional well-placed smack curtails a long, drawn-out, painful episode with Julian, making it easier on all of us, even him. (Gabriel....forget it. See previous reference to "practical.")

Today Julian went down for a nap without much drama. I checked on Gabriel, told him I was going to take a nap, and went to lie down. I can't believe how tired I am in the afternoons, and how physically impaired I already am from my burgeoning tummy -- and that's at only 21 weeks along! After a pretty good snooze, I woke up and recognized the usual silence: Gabriel had gone to sleep.

I looked quickly around downstairs and didn't see him, and figured he'd gone upstairs to his room. So I had a snack and read the paper, did a few things in the kitchen...then noticed the oddest bulge under the slipcover on family room couch. I guess Gabriel had been stuffing things under there, I wonder what...so I lifted it up and found -- Gabriel! He'd curled up under the slipcover and gone to sleep! I'm glad I noticed that before checking his room and finding him absent -- I'd really have wondered where he'd gone! That kid naps anywhere.

Later, after dinner, Gabriel helped me make a pumpkin buttermilk pudding (yum!). I'm getting better and better at giving him baking tasks, and he can "help" me with just about every step: buttering the pan, pouring dry or wet ingredients in (I help him measure though), mixing -- he's even learning to crack eggs. He gets a huge kick out of this, and I like it too, it's a nice way to spend time together.

Meanwhile, I could hear Julian singing in the living room, and checked on him after we'd finished the pudding. Julian was engaging in a very Gabriel-like activity: lining pillows up on the floor! I think he was imitating the docks he'd seen when we went pedalboating. The boys had fun walking along the pillow-dock. I still haven't had the heart to put the pillows away, it's so cute.

A challenging day with them in many ways, but a full and rich one.

5/30/06

5/29/06 Gabriel and Julian pedal a boat

Today we went on a surprisingly rare family outing. Somehow on the weekends are always too busy around the house, or I take the boys somewhere without Dave on Sundays. But today on a holiday Monday, we went to Shoreline Park in Mountain View to take a "pedalboat" out onto the sailing lake.

I'd seen this in April when I took the boys to Shoreline just to check it out, and today was perfect to actually go out onto the lake. It was a slightly breezy day, sparing us from what could be a very hot time out there.

Except for the parking lots, that is. Packed! Shoreline is a popular place. Once we found a place to park, it was smooth sailing from there.

It was fun! For $16, we rented a boat and lifevests for an hour, and pedaled around Shoreline's manmade sailing lake. We saw lots of other boats, including windsurfers and a sailboat that a man and his young daughter had capsized.
Julian was afraid at first, but once he got to hold the steering wheel, he relaxed. Gabriel was excited from the beginning and also liked steering and trying to pedal (he couldn't reach very well). We watched some windsurfers zooming by, looked at a few birds, rescued a hat for another family, then pedaled back to the docks.

What a great way to spend a holiday afternoon.

5/29/06

5/28/06 Gabriel and Julian go to a pool party

Today we went to a Memorial Weekend (since it wasn't actually Memorial Day) pool party at the house of one of Dave's coworkers. They have a beautiful house in Los Altos, with a pool and hot tub in the backyard, and kids welcome. Gabriel helped me make pumpkin bread to bring (he loves to help me bake), and we arrived around 12:30 for the party.

It was chilly and windy the day before, but today was pretty nice. We got the boys ready to get in the pool, but didn't let them in until I was ready too. It's times like this I'm so glad they've had swim classes, because they're comfortable and happy in the water, and I'm very in touch with their abilities and dangers. So, I hung out next to the pool watching them while they played at first, then later got in myself to play with them. Gabriel wasn't allowed onto a big floatable dinosaur until he demonstrated that he could swim across the short end of the pool, and he passed.

One time, before I was in the water with them, Julian stepped off into water too deep for him, and I saw right away that he wasn't going to get back on his own, but I also knew how much time he had. He took about 4 breaths while I got to him and pulled him out, he coughed once or twice, then went on as usual. I think a few onlookers were a little alarmed, perhaps mostly at my cavalier attitude about it! Well, not that cavalier: at the time, I wasn't worried at all, but later that night, the image of Julian paddling to keep his head above water haunted me. Drowning is a silent death, and a few more seconds of that and he'd have been in serious trouble. Will there ever be a time in which my head is turned just a few moments too long? Not this time.

While Dave and I sat by the pool and watched the boys, a little girl got in with an inflatable ring. Dave commented that her parents seemed nowhere to be found, but I said a parent could be anywhere nearby, we couldn't tell. The girl was about 6 years old, maybe she was a trustworthy swimmer too. Inflatable toys in pools make me especially nervous -- kids can easily drift in over their heads and get into trouble. We weren't allowed to play on those truck inntertubes (and what FUN those were!) until we passed a swimming test. But maybe by that girl's age you stop being ultra diligent?

Well, it turned out that her parents indeed were nowhere to be found -- they were inside the house getting a tour. And, it turned out she couldn't swim at all and seemed to depend on the toy inflatable ring to keep her up. I was really shocked. If swim lessons have given me nothing else, it's much better awareness/paranoia of water danger than most parents seem to have. If the parents had asked us to keep an eye on her, that'd have been fine -- but let a 6-year-old into a pool, unsupervised, using an inflatable ring, and who can't swim, is really...well, unaware, I'll say. They seemed like very nice parents otherwise, I'm sure they thought she was safe, especially since she had the ring. Meanwhile, anyone who witnessed Julian's step into the deep would probably think we were the ones being too loosey-goosey.

To my amazement, Gabriel got cold first and then got out first -- that never happens! I found a water frisbee that skips nicely, and played catch with Julian in the water. His lips were blue and he was shivering, but he was having such a good time that he put up a huge fuss when we finally pulled him out of the water -- at 2:30pm and he hadn't had lunch or nap yet. Mom once said that we Berry kids were like that too, shivering and freezing but still insisting on playing in the water. That's-a-my boy! They had a great time at the party, and so did we. Very nice people.

Dinner has really gotten to be annoying with the boys; they're constantly making obnoxious noises, bad behavior, timeouts...we barely squeaked through Sunday night's dinner with things intact enough to watch Thomas the Tank Engine. But I like watching it with them too, so I'm glad they finally shaped up.

5/28/06

5/25/06 Gabriel and Julian join the Y

I promised myself when I started this blog that I wouldn't get compulsive and try to catch up if I was falling behind, but it's pretty hard to squelch the documenter's disease. Though I'm trying to banish this motion, I still find myself feeling that I'm "falling behind." Silly! There will be lots of undocumented moments in our children's lives, and that's OK!

Today after the boys' swim class, I took them to the nearby YMCA and joined! I've been meaning to do this for weeks, as the Y is the best compromise between location, childcare, and pool schedule. Gabriel and Julian sat fairly peacefully, munching on apple and Goldfish (a rare treat, which backfired since Julian insisted on eating them off the ground with his mouth) while I filled out and signed forms.

Then I took them to the Y's Childwatch, of which there are two, depending on age. Both rooms are large and bright and pleasant and filled with fun toys, much nicer than the one at Supreme Court. Julian cried a little at first when I left him, insisting on "one more hug and a kiss", four or five times that is, but was fine within a few minutes. Gabriel, no problem, as I expected -- ironic considering how much trouble he gave me at the Supreme Court daycare as a baby! After filling out more forms and talking to each room's daycare ladies, I finally got to go check out the pool. I'd brought my swim stuff just in case...and it looked like I was going to get to sneak in a few minutes' swim!

I was thrilled, I haven't swum in a long time, and the urge to swim is very strong these days. It just feels like the perfect exercise for my beleaguered body. Spinning aggravates my weak sacro-iliac joint. Step classes, elliptical trainers and stair steppers bother my knees (and I don't have knee problems in general). Soon I won't be able to do Pilates or Ballecore or other similar exercises that emphasize abdominal work and lying on your back. (As an aside, I've mused how I seem to be attracted to the same genre of sport: dance, pilates, yoga, ice skating...all things which overall don't use equipment, aren't team sports, emphasize flexibility, aren't high-impact or high-cardio, and don't require hand-to-eye coordination. Other people love softball, basketball, volleyball -- sports without half a foot in the arts. That's not to say I don't like some sports: the dabbling I've done in volleyball and racquetball speak to that, and I know I'd love mountain biking, and of course I love to swim and am very inclined toward other water sports. But isn't it interesting how I, and most people probably, gravitate toward activities with similiar characteristics. I'd probably like tai chi and martial arts as well.)

Stepping back....Julian has an astounding record of needing to poop during his swim lesson. Four times in a row now, I've caught the straining eyes and puffy face and rushed him out of the pool just in time. A real pain when he's wearing fins and we're both soaking wet! Well, today he didn't poop in the pool, finally.

So when I went for my first swim at the Y today, I had to wait for about 20 minutes while the pool was closed due to a contamination (probably some other kid pooped in the pool). I got into my swim stuff, then did some stretches, and finally, finally was able to immerse myself in water and experience the almost hypnotic state of gliding through the water. Yay! It felt SO good. Being horribly out of shape, I stopped after only 5 laps to stretch, and looked up to see....Flora. The daycare lady from Julian's childwatch. Searching the pool. I called to her, and she saw me and said "Oh -- Julian go poo-poo!" I couldn't believe it. I'd been swimming maybe 5 minutes, and once again, pool time, this time mine, was foiled by Julian's bowels!

The afternoon went as usual, though it took me a while to get Julian inside to get him upstairs for his nap. He always protests at first, but usually goes along with the program as soon as I get started with a book (his latest favorite is "There's a Wocket in my Pocket" by Dr. Seuss). And for the 4th day in a row, I came down from getting Julian to bed to find Gabriel asleep. Today, Gabriel went into his room, closed his door and curled up on his bed under blankets.

I took a crucial nap too, only to be awakened by Julian crying, awake early from his nap. Only an hour and a half -- not long enough for him, but it's becoming more frequent. I took him downstairs and cuddled him on our bed, watching more junk TV, since I wasn't at all ready to move yet. Then Julian was quite still, and I saw that he'd fallen asleep again. He adjusted himself off of me, so I got up to prepare dinner. Lately I've been starting the lengthy dinner-prep process at around 4:30, in an attempt to get the boys fed early and before Dave gets home. They're impossible to have at our dinner table these days.


Meantime, Julian snoozed away on our bed, and Gabriel upstairs on his bed. At 6:30pm, Dave got home, and I left for my skating class -- and they were both still asleep! That confirms it: Julian really does need a 3-hour nap, but for some reason lately, he keeps waking up too early.

I had a great time skating, and came back to find two very well-rested and rambunctious little boys. Who miraculously went to bed by 9:30 despite their extended, and late, naps. Ah, sleep. It eludes me much these days, largely due to stomach troubles, but now, Baby#3's movement is starting to get big and strong enough to nudge me out of my usual troubled slumber. Three children adds up to many, many years of insufficient sleep. At least now I have a new way to boost my energy during the day: swimming.

5/25/06