6/6/07 The redhead?

If you didn't know better, at times you'd say Katrina has red hair! Well, strawberry blondish, anyway, depending on the light.





No matter what you call it, it is hard to believe she was born with black hair.

But it's also hard to believe it will persist, as the genetics are for dark hair. Still, could there be some recessive Irish characteristics manifesting themselves?


This modeling took place in a shopping cart at Trader Joe's this afternoon, where I pulled off a successful stock-up venture with all three kids. I love that Katrina can sit up in shopping carts now, since for the most part, the boys can't reach her (though I did have to pinch Julian's fingers to get him to quit pulling her feet after being told umpteen times to stop).

The only thing about her being in the cart, especially the narrow ones at Trader Joe's, is remembering the time that Gabriel climbed up the side of one and toppled the cart, with Julian in the seat. It wouldn't be hard for one of the boys to climb up there in the seconds I have my head turned to pick something off a shelf. ~Shudder~

We had an unexpected substitute swim teacher today: Gina!! I was thrilled! Julian started the class again half-heartedly crying and protesting, and finished it by swimming across the short side of the pool completely unassisted, delighted with himself. Good boy! Katrina didn't cry at all, and is getting pretty good at jumping off the side now. My little fishies.

I talked to a mom in playtime with one son just a few weeks younger than Julian. Somehow she commented that she didn't want her son to be an only child, but it wasn't working out. Partly, she said, I'm old. I can usually trump "old" moms on age, but it turns out that she and I are just a few months apart in age. It's a story I come across so often: secondary infertility, often, but not always, with a mom of my generation. These stories always give me pause, because as shellshocked as I still am about having another baby, my story is one so many people would love to live. Some moms are encouraged by my story, others are disheartened by it, and I feel uncomfortably, futilely guilty by the latter. Something so profound and life-changing we have no control over. We can't trade, compromise, negotiate, switch; like swapping a purple coat for a red one. I got a baby. Someone else who dearly wants one didn't. How did that happen?

Dave is in San Diego on a business trip until Friday night, so I'm playing single parent for the week. I'm playing up the pros, such as dinner at 5:30. That works great.

6/6/07

6/5/07 The gift

I had this afternoon alone with Gabriel today, a dull prospect for him since I was bent on getting things done in the office.

I don't know what got into him, but he decided to draw a picture of me and him walking up a mountain, along a river. It took him a long time, and he proudly showed it to me afterward. I made a big fuss over it, then told him he should sign and date it. This occupied him for another 15 minutes as he meticulously wrote "June 5 2007 Tuesday Gabriel".

I'd love to show you the picture he drew, but instead, he insisted on wrapping it as a present. I tried to dissuade him, since I really did want to see the picture, but Gabriel isn't known for being easily sidetracked. I relented and let him at it, with wrapping paper, scotch tape and scissors. This kept him busy for another 15 minutes or so.

Then my present needed a tag. He went about his work, coming into the office to ask me how to spell my name, then how to spell "From," even though he could spell it himself when I pressed him.

Finally, he was done, and reappeared to present me with my "birthday gift." I told him, "Gabriel, you didn't have to spell my name, you could have written 'Mom'!". To which he answered, ever so logically, "But every kids' mother's name is Mom -- then you wouldn't know who the present is for!"

I don't dare unwrap the thing, he seems to like this present so much. I'm hoping he'll forget about it so that I can stash the picture, as the glimpse I got of it is truly very sweet.

Katrina is 8 months old today! What a milestone -- we've now had a baby out-of-utero for the same amount of time, almost to the day, that the baby was in-utero. Lemme tell you, it's a whole lot more fun having the baby out! (well, of course, of course I mean provided the baby really has been inside you for 8 months, apologies to preemie-moms).

She's still in a wonderful place, just charming and delightful....and very tolerant of brother antics. I tried to capture a moment in which Julian was making her crack up aloud, but the camera and Gabriel distracted her. Instead, I captured a moment of what I constantly endure the boys doing to her, never knowing when they're about to go too far, grabbing her hands and feet, bouncing around -- and Katrina constantly undermining my warnings and corrections to the boys by smiling at them and rarely complaining.


It's funny, when I have the afternoon alone with my 5-year-old, I feel more in touch as a mom. This is where I belong, with little kids who I can just tell to get out of the car and close the door behind them, who can carry things, put things away, that I can talk to and interact with. I feel like I'm living in a past world when I'm carrying a baby around, almost as much as when I see a pregnant woman or a single woman or a college student. It's such an enigma. On the one hand, I have this beautiful, fabulously rewarding, outgoing, charming, sweet baby. On the other hand, I feel much more in my element when I'm with my 5-year-old almost-kindergartner, who is those things only in moments. Even as my connection with my role as kid-mom strengthens, so does my love for my baby, if not my love for my role as baby-mom. Yet when I'm alone with her, on all appearances I'm a highly engaged baby-mom, probably because this particular baby is so engaging and irresistable. Even I can't help it. It's like Mother Nature is taunting me, teasing me for any ambivalence I have about having a baby in my life. But Mom Nature's joke won't last long, because babyhood doesn't either.

6/5/07

p.s. that's odd, blogger's option to change font face, is missing today, though changing font size is still there. Bug or feature?

6/4/07 The Impatience

This evening, I was making a mad dash for the Y, having focused all my energies from about 4:30pm on to getting kids fed, kitchen cleaned, baby nursed, clothes prepared for tomorrow, and everything taken care of to do so. I had to be back by 8:30 so that Dave could get dinner, and was finally ready to leave around 7pm. My time was ticking, so I said a quick goodbye to the boys, who ignored me, then got into my car.

"Wait!" I heard imploringly. "Mommy!!" I got out, quelling my irritation. "Where are you going?" I explained again, gave them each a quick hug, then ran back into my car.

"WAIT!!! MOMM-MY!!!!!" Argh!! Now what?!! "I want to give you a hug and a kiss!" Oh, OK. I can't complain about those after all. Brushing aside a flash of guilt from curtailing this moment of affection, I gave them both the prescribed hugs and kisses, then ran back into my car. Quickly, I started to pull out of the driveway.

"WAAIIIIITTT!!! Mommy! Mommy!!!!"

@&$&#@!*! Come on! Another round of hugs and kisses. Mwah, hug, kiss, pat on the bottom, go play. BYE!

Back in my car. Close the door. Snap on seatbelt. Car in gear, pull forward as fast as politely possible, down the driveway, just about to make my escape....

"WAAIIIIITTT!!! **MOMMMM-MMEEEEE!!!!

Screeeech!. Slam on the brakes. Car in neutral. Put on emergency brake. Unsnap seatbelt. Dash out of the car, leave it running, door open. Run back to the backyard gate, seriously annoyed now.

WHAT!!! I demand.

Gabriel said, "I just wanted to tell you something."

NOT NOW!!! I turn to leave. Then:

"Mom -- I love you!"

I looked back at two innocent faces standing there wide-eyed, waiting to see the impact of this unexpected, and apparently sincere, declaration. Julian then piped in too: "yeah, Mommy, I love you too."

My energy for escape drained instantly, the urgency to leave replaced with guilt, a smart smack on my conscience, and a wave of love and affection. I kneeled down and gave my sons long hugs and kisses and told them, completely from the heart, how much I loved them too. I stayed with them until they were kissed out and ready to do their own thing. Then, one more kiss each, one more pat on the bottom, and I was off to do mine.

And I did, smiling the whole way.

6/4/07

6/3/07 A do-nothing day

It was so nice out today. Why didn't I get out, or better yet, take kids out, to do something? Well, I guess because I got to sleep late -- really late (like 10:30am!), and that was such a nice feeling. How rare to get up feeling like I actually got up on my own terms and got enough sleep! Many thanks to Dave for that treat.

Still, this set us up for a late day. Katrina also woke up unusually late, which is nice, but it also meant she only ended up taking one nap today (gah!). And that nap was ended by a screaming Julian screaming that he didn't need a nap. Uh-huh.

With Julian and Katrina tag-teaming naps, and Gabriel happily outside helping Dave with yardwork (digging out a sprinkler head is still prime entertainment for 5-year-olds), there wasn't much point to taking kids out anyway. Still, I felt bad for not making a trip to a park with Gabriel's new bicycle happen, or take the boys to the Y to swim.


But if you have to have a baby who only took one nap today, at least it was one who was happy and cheerful and very willing to play with her brothers' toys. And whose brothers are far too willing to play with her. I had to banish Julian to another room several times for incessantly grabbing her feet or hands.

I did an experiment on Katrina today: I showed her a small toy, got her interested in it, then put it inside a box with a hinged lid that she can easily open. Would she go after the toy now that it was out of sight? Nope! Not yet! Just wondering.

6/3/07

6/2/07 Gabriel's new bike

Gabriel got a new bicycle today!

I know, I know, what did he do to deserve this?

Well, actually, once he dropped the stubborn attitude and hence the training wheels, his old bike looked too small. And he's had it for two years now. If bike-riding is going to be a frequent activity, and I hope it is, then it seemed silly to wait for a special occasion for a new bike, especially since special occasions around here are grouped in the winter months.

This one has 16-inch wheels, and is a little big for him, but he'll use it for years. It corners and rolls over bumps much better than his smaller one -- which will become Julian's.


Here he is riding it around the backyard. He really needs a bigger place to ride.



I coupled baby entertainment with a long run at Rancho San Antonio today.

Well, long for me, anyway, about 5 miles all told. For "real" runners, that's barely a warm-up! It felt good though -- especially the downhills.

It's a route I'd done once before (Farm -> Rogue Valley -> Chamise -> Ravensbury -> Farm), and knew was suitable for a jogging stroller: wide relatively smooth trails, and not too hilly. Or so I thought until I had to push the stroller up hills while still maintaining a running gait, barely. Whew! That was tough! And that's on minor, short hills, with my eensy not-even-14-pound baby. I can't imagine if I'd brought 31-pound Julian. Sonia does it pushing her double jogger with both her boys (ages 3yo and 17mo) in it!!

Katrina had a grand time on this outing, not making so much as a "bah-bah" in the hour and a half she sat in the stroller (all told, including stretching and a self-time camera stop).

To me, she's unbelievably cute, but it can't be just my mom-glasses, because at least 4 people slowed down to peek in the stroller, and made "awww" faces.

But to me, the cute is in her manner, as she's been so full of joy lately. If not for the early wakeups, she'd be the perfect baby...if there is such a thing.

Still getting hives though! And, mysterious red patches that come and go all day. The hives are few and far between, but I'm still waiting for a hive-free day. They're certainly not bothering her though, as I have to say again, this baby brims with energy and happiness and delight these days. Which puts me in an awfully good mood. Until about 4am that is!

6/2/07

6/1/07 MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT

Something all mothers aspire to. The pinnacle of achievement. The epitome of challenge. Hurdling obstacles, scaling mountains, reaching for the impossible, putting in the ultimate supreme effort, and yet somehow managing, against all odds, to reach it. The satisfaction is unmatchable.

I cut two kids' fingernails AND toenails today!!!!

Dave and I went out tonight, for our usual favorite dinner-and-movie date. Dinner was at a fairly nice, but still casual, restaurant in Palo Alto, and it was late, past 9:30pm by the time we sat down. We were shocked -- horrified! -- to see a family with three small children there. It's a nice enough place that you don't expect to see little kids there at any hour, but let alone that late.

And we saw the quintessential bad behavior that gives all parents a bad name. Children chasing each other and laughing while running around the tables, bumping into the chairs of other diners. Lots of loud noises and screaming. And the ultimate: a mom following a toddler around the restaurant with a plate and a fork, slipping forkfuls of food into the toddler's mouth when she was distracted. Holy cow!

Well, for once, I end the day feeling like a good parent. Especially since the care my kids were under tonight was far superior -- since it wasn't my care they were under. Instead, they were tended to by the ultra-capable Peggy. They and their nice short neat fingernails.

6/1/07

5/31/07 Mom's day "off"

Day off? Do moms ever have a day off? No, but at least I had a few continuous hours off from the younger two today. This still leaves me with a 1pm pickup and Gabriel all afternoon, but I'm rather enjoying that.

First, the day started with a miraculous event. I hadn't set clothes out for the boys, as I usually do. But when they got up this morning, the first thing they did was go to their dressers and pick clothes out for themselves and started getting dressed! Without prompting, cajoling, threatening, bugging, reminding or anything, they got dressed! Hmm, I'd better keep their dressers stocked with folded clothes. Half the time that I set their clothes out, I pluck them from a pile of clean, unfolded laundry.

Katrina has been nothing short of utterly delightful lately, even after a day away from home and shorter naps. Wakeups have been about half-and-half between waking up at 6am for good, or waking up at 5am, nursing, then going back to sleep until 7:30 or so. The latter is preferable!

Here she is practicing babbling and making goofy sounds and faces. Not her best, but the best I could capture.


Hive report: almost gone! A scratch or injury still raises up red, but the white raised marks are almost completely gone. She has a weight check next week; I'll ask then about if a 3-week-long hive episode could possibly be a food allergy.

One thing the hives inspired was trying out soy yogurt. She luuuuvs that! And I know why, too, having licked the spoon myself. It's very sweet, much sweeter than dairy yogurt. Full of "expressed cane juice," which is a nice way of saying "sugar." I hope we can get back to dairy yogurt before she gets too hooked. Then again, being a big fan of sugar myself, there could be worse things than soy yogurt.

5/31/07

5/30/07 Swim class screwup

WAH! I'd been so looking forward to our perfectly-timed class with our longtime favorite swim teacher, Gina.

But, it turns out, we were on the schedule for an earlier time (and hence late today), and, Gina isn't teaching on Wednesdays! I was so bummed. Especially since having Julian and Katrina in the class means I need extra help from the teacher we do have. But our teacher also runs the swim school, quite often during the lessons. Today I spent a good 5 minutes (out of 20) holding Julian and Katrina while waiting for him to resolve something. This was especially hard since Julian was crying and really really needed my full attention. (He got over it in playtime.)

The good news, however, is that I signed Julian and Katrina up on Mondays also, with Teacher Gina. It's at noon, not necessarily the best time, but there's a good chance Katrina won't be napping then. 3 out of 7 Mondays, however, I'll have to bring Gabriel with us, and hope that he won't be too sad about not joining his sister and brother in the water.

It's worth it though; we've had Gina for years, and she was very supportive and sweet last summer when I was so miserably pregnant. She gave me specific orders to come back this summer with the baby, which she was completely convinced would be a girl. She wouldn't hear of the other possibility.

The other good news is that Katrina had a grand time in swim class today, not crying at all. Despite swimming only once a week, she now totally "gets" jumping into the water, scrunching up her little face in anticipation right before going under. She is almost able to jump off the side, impeded partly by the tiny lip at the edge of the pool, but she can jump in from a step in playtime. With all the wiggling and kicking she does on land, she should take quickly to swimming!

More comments today about how little Katrina is, and surprised reactions when I tell them she's almost 8 months old. When I look around at other babies in swim class, I can see why. She seems littler and littler as her behavior matures faster than her petite little body. We're developing a series of 'P' nicknames for her -- the boys love calling her Pixie Peanut, and now we've tacked on Pipsqueak (thank you Stacey for that one!).

I survived another afternoon today, partly because I got Julian in his room for a nap. He never took one, but at least he was out of the picture for an hour. That makes a huge difference in my ability to deal with the boys for many hours.

People often ask how it is with 3 kids, and my answer hasn't changed: it's not 3 kids, it's 2 boys that gets me. Young boys, close in age, the older one having the much stronger personality, and the younger one being 3. Not the ideal scenario. That said, whenever I see or read something about the deep bond that many grown men have with their brothers, I feel warm and happy that they have each other, and a tiny pang of regret that there isn't another brother in the mix. For a fleeting moment, that is, until the inevitable crash, cry and ensuing chaos shatters my fraternal reverie.

No photos today. Taking advantage of extended daylight, I made a hasty escape this evening, and tackled part of the PG&E trail at Rancho San Antonio. 4.5 miles, about half of that hills. I'm pooped.

5/30/07

5/29/07 First full-time day

Today was the first day of a new schedule: Katrina and Julian at Tonya's all day, Tuesdays and Thursdays, for the summer.

I've been so looking forward to getting some continuous time and making momentum on some projects...but that anticipation was dampened by an unexpected, but really, expected emotion: I missed my baby!

Katrina gained a bad rep from her earlier months; right now she is the picture of a sweet, adorable, delightful, fun, outgoing, utterly joyful baby. And you know that takes a lot for me to say, as I'm not all that big on babies!

(Note that my oh-so-darling 3-year-old barely merited a whit of thought all day.)

She did great at Tonya's, playing happily all day despite marginal naps. When I picked her up, she beamed at me, made her happy crackly sounds, and reached for my face with both hands. Awww. Maybe I did this wrong -- I should put both boys at Tonya's all day! Well, that's coming soon enough, when Gabriel starts at Collins CDC in mid-June.

Before Gabriel starts his new schedule, I have a fun few weeks in which I get him to myself for two afternoons a week. This was timely today, since we had a kindergarten orientation to go to at his school. This was moderately useful, and would have been moreso if we weren't in such a big room with such poor acoustics. Most of what they talked about in terms of readiness for kindergarten didn't apply or isn't an issue (e.g. Gabriel being scared and crying the first day). We didn't get to tour the classrooms, but at least saw where they'd be, and Gabriel got to play in the playground right outside where his class will be.

Gabriel's real excitement this afternoon was discovering a clock-making kit he got for Christmas last year (or the year before, I think!). Mr. Numbers here no longer remembers how to read analog clocks, because digital clocks exist. He learned a long time ago that it's much easier to read a digital clock, so now has to think about it to read an analog one, if he will at all.

(From a cognition perspective, that's actually rather interesting. He was truly reading the analog clock, rather than recognizing a hand pattern and applying it to a developed concept of time, as an adult would. You and I don't really "read" analog clocks, we glance at them and identify the time. They're faster to tell time on them, much like analog speedometers are easier to use than digital ones. So no wonder it's harder for him to read an analog clock, because he's reading it and not really telling time on it. )

Nevertheless, making a clock was great fun for him. He loved the instructions to draw a circle on heavy paper around a dinner plate, then cut it out (he excitedly told Dave about this feat of engineering later). Then I went through with him how to find the center of the circle and make a hole, then he colored the clock, then meticulously glued the numbers on. Finally, I snapped the hands onto the little clock mechanism. He's very proud of it. Maybe now he'll remember how to tell time!

5/29/07

5/28/07 An unmemorable Memorial Day

Memorial Day. Commemorating veterans, old, and regrettably, the daily new. The long-lost 49er rally and the GS trials we used to do, sniff. War movies on TV. Department store sales. And, the unofficial start of summer.

In our case, the holiday meant another day struggling to survive the onslaught of children, and, in my case, a migraine. This time, I took the Imitrex exactly as prescribed: first one pill, then a second two hours later. Judging by this experience, it does seem to address the pain, but that's it. All the other weird and uncomfortable things from the misfirings in my head are still there. The lack of pain is an improvement, but what does it take the get rid of the vice grips, the strange visual perceptions, the sensitivity to light and sound?

My usual remedy to everything is exercise. Mercifully, the Y was not only open today, but Childwatch was on its regular schedule. So I brought all three of our mini-monsters to the Y and pushed my way through a half-hearted workout. When I picked them up, the miniest monster was asleep in the stroller. The Childwatch lady seemed quite pleased with herself. It's not their fault. If a baby is tired, baby shouldn't be there, and I guess lots of moms want them to go to sleep there. I'm not among those.

Indeed, Katrina's 10-minute snooze took the edge off, and she didn't take an afternoon nap until 5:00pm. Great! Fortunately, she was in a great mood when we woke her up, and she went to bed easily around 8:30pm.

After the Y, I took the boys to Supercuts, and was thrilled to find it almost empty. No wait! In under 20 minutes, the boys had gained a degree of respectability and we were on our way home. Meantime, Katrina had a blast at Supercuts, putting on her best adorable-baby show, beaming at everyone, and absolutely relishing the fawning and cooing over her from the underworked ladies. I don't know what got into her.

Maybe it was this hand-me-down denim skirt I put on her today, her first skirt. Skirts are silly on a baby, but this one has handy slits to make it fall right when she's sitting. Provided it's not on backward, as it is in this photo.

Of course, the real reason for the skirt is that I've fallen so behind in laundry and had to dig through more hand-me-down bags that I hadn't gotten to yet. But I like it.

(That reminds me, shopping at Target with Julian and Katrina the other day, Julian ran over to some skirts and wanted to get one -- for himself! No, sweetie, I told him, that's a skirt. "What's a skirt, Mommy?" he asked innocently. I started to answer him, then realized the gravity of the question. He has no idea what a skirt is: I've only ever worn one once around him, for a few hours on Mother's Day!)

I loved this primary-color star onesie on Katrina, from the same trip to Target ($3.99, score!). Later, I realized why I was attracted to it: it was in the infant boys' section! I'm the worst girl mom. Skirts on backward. Boy clothes. Sounds like the way I dress myself.

Oh, time to go...a new episode of SuperNanny is starting! I wonder what she'd say about Gabriel's new harmless attempt at making a point in timeout, which is to strip himself naked and throw his clothes across the room.

5/28/07

5/27/07 Park BBQ

Today's only redeeming event was going to a park and barbeque. I got to chat with friends, Katrina got to smile at people and do cute-baby stuff, and the boys got to play with friends. There were lots of kids there, so there were various combinations of kids playing, but since the boys see so much of the White family, inevitably they gravitated toward their respective peers.

Julian and Andrew played together a lot today,

as did Gina and Gabriel, "racing."

Gabriel discovered a "forest" in a corner of the park, and was unusually excited, for him, about exploring it. I didn't see this myself, but he was coaxing Gina into places that she wisely thought better of going, though fortunately this particular place was safe. They were looking for dinosaurs, but were very excited to discover a cat too.

On the way home, Gabriel asked again and again about going to explore in a forest, can we go now Mom? This kid needs to go camping. Is this a new side of him, or one that's always been there that I haven't fostered somehow? (Isn't it amazing how modern moms can turn a positive thing into a guilt moment?)

Katrina's morning nap got all screwed up, so she was a ticking time bomb while we were at the park. Fortunately she stayed sunny and happy, but we were pushing it. I called it right and got everyone organized to leave early, and with Gabriel's help, managed to keep her awake in the car. The moment we got home, I nursed her and she went down happily for a 2.5-hour nap. And so did I, as I've been fending off a headache today.

I'd hoped to take Dave to an open house today, but alas, it's impossible to fit in multiple things with a nap-needing baby in tow. (Fortunately, or unfortunately at times, Katrina's inflexibility quells any temptation I might have about having her nap in the stroller or some non-crib location. Such as my shoulder, never an option for her.)

I don't want to lose momentum on this massive remodel project, I just want to get it done! Well, started. Sometimes the only way I can keep up with a project is to make sure I do at least one thing a day on it. If that's just sending an email message, so be it, at least it's something. I guess talking with Stacey and Betsy about the virtues and downfalls of interior windowless bathrooms will have to count for today.

I love living so close to Rancho San Antonio. I hate that millions of other people do too, and that tomorrow, especially being a holiday, going to Rancho would mean spending much of baby's happy window circling the parking lot. Maybe I should find a forest for Gabriel to explore tomorrow. It'd be fun to do that with him...except for that nap-needing-baby-in-tow thing again. Sigh. Caught between two lives. Well, three.

5/27/07

5/26/07 More open houses

Friday, we met with a realtor who claims to be an expert in our area, to get a feel for how much our house is worth. This is necessary information for the "remodel v. move" debate.

It was a productive meeting, and we really like this realtor. He's straightforward and informative. Indeed, my awful kitchen seriously depresses the value of our house, but he did say there were many positives of our house, and many unusual features.

The realtor came prepared with "comps," meaning, comparable houses for sale in the area. Comps for our house are challenging because there really are no houses quite like it, but some are more dissimilar than others. Two of the "comp" houses he showed us (on paper) had Open Houses today, so for fun (??), I took Julian and Katrina for a look.

(Dave took Gabriel to the Watsonville Fly-In and Air Show, getting a preview of what it's like to spend a day being with your kid instead of primarily taking care of your kid, as one does with toddlers and babies. Julian had a mega-meltdown as Dave and Gabriel were leaving without him, disappointed beyond control about being left behind, poor thing. I did my best to make it up to him, though open-housing isn't exactly a fun kid-centered activity.)

Anyway. We got to see what $1.5M in Sunnyvale buys you, which is a larger house than we have, but still, some of the same old problems. A fridge on the other side of a too-small island from the sink. Bathrooms that need upgrading. Major landscaping maintenance. For-show-only bathtubs in master bathrooms. Crummy aluminum windows.

And then there's this. In a $1.5M master bedroom, here's your cable and phone:



In our master bedroom, and entire upstairs, and entire downstairs if we remodel, here's your cable, phone (2), and ethernet, in a single outlet:


Our master bedroom has 5 such data/phone/cable outlets alone, with the intent of not having to string wires around doors. All 9 upstairs data/phone/cable outlets are wired back to a subpanel in the attic (pictured), and homed to a master panel in the basement. Our garage and office also have such outlets, and the rest of the downstairs is poised to. (Yes, of course we can say "wireless," but so far it's only served to augment, not replace, good old land lines.)

Our house has all sorts of customizations that are, in some cases, a little over-the-top. But I like them. That's why I (even we in some cases), made them happen. I like my master bath with two showerheads and perfect bathtub and thermostatic valves (even if the bathroom is too small for a master). I love our underfloor hydronic radiant heat downstairs. I like our funky tilt-and-turn-hopper dormer windows. I like our upstairs wood floors, wood trim and doors; now that I've been open-housing, I see that it really stands out. I like our beautiful, bright, huge, if sorely under-utilized, garage. And I like our ultra-handy data/phone/cable outlets upstairs.

But I also know what I don't like. Open-housing with a three-year-old ranks right up there.

In fairness, Julian can be quite cute and charming too, when people address him directly. But he's mostly resoundingly irritating when I'm trying to talk to someone, and he's pulling on Katrina's feet or winding around my legs and just being a general nuisance, as only a 3-year-old can be.

Realtors, however, adore smiley petite baby Katrina. Still, she's some work too, as she makes it hard to hold things in my hands, lunging for everything with both arms outstretched, throwing her entire not-quite-14-pounds into the effort like a desert-crossing horse crazed with thirst. It's amazing how much damage such a tiny little person can do.

Ah yes, another thing you get in a $1.5M kitchen:

A range-top on an island, but underneath it is the same exact mess of exposed pipes and vents in a barely-usable prime-access space, with crudely cut contact paper to cover the bare wood on the bottom, as is in the nasty kitchen you're trying to leave behind.

I don't necessarily need a brand-new kitchen, but I also don't need a painful move (painful for the whole family) and leaving behind many things I like, only to get the same sorts of problems. I'm feeling entitled to an upgrade, and am rather cranky about the stunning price tags on these so-so houses.

In fairness, in a $1.2M brand-new house in Willow Glen, you get actual drawers under the range-top, in about the handiest place possible. This sort of uber-function gives me butterflies in my stomach.

And I just love the farmhouse-style sink.

In completely unrelated, far more cheerful news, I went running at Rancho San Antonio tonight, my first run of the week. And what do you think I saw at the end of Coyote Trail? An actual coyote!

5/26/07

5/25/07 Ikea Day!

It's hard to imagine in my life, but I made two trips to Ikea today! Possible only because 1) kids in daycare this morning; 2) Dave back from business trip early this afternoon; and 3) I brought along a carpool-lane decoy, in the form of a skinny 5-year-old boy.

Two trips to Ikea.

Three trips to Tonyas: Dropoff, pickup, and then sleepover dropoff.

One trip for takeout dinner.

And very soon, one trip upstairs to bed.


Mmm, that yam-n-turkey dinner sure was fun!

Katrina was downright joyful today. This is why people have babies.

5/25/07

5/24/07

Late lunch today, and it was so nice out...so we had a "picnic" out back. The boys said, "Yayyyy!" when I said, "Let's have a picnic!" then, "...what's a picnic?"

Gabriel chose the spot and spread out the blanket (perfectly, of course -- square to the lawn border and without a wrinkle). I reprieved a genuine picnic basket from a get-rid-of pile, since I haven't used it in years, and filled it with sandwiches, watermelon, carrots and chips.

Someone couldn't wait for food and started eating the picnic basket instead!

We talked about part of trees, since Gabriel likes our next door neighbors' big redwood tree (which was once part of our property until the last subdivision in 1979), and about ants and bugs. Katrina very happily ate her baby food sitting on the ground, enjoying this change of pace. Our picnic was a nice little twist on the usual lunch. For once, Mom gets more than a D-!


A marathon of afternoon naps: Julian and Katrina slept until 6pm, when I finally woke Katrina up out of a sound sleep after 3 hours! Dinner was completely ready for them, useless as it turns out, since the boys barely touched it and Katrina was too busy wiggling and smiling and making goofy baby sounds to eat.

So I took the kit'n'kaboodle to the Y and gave the kind Childwatch ladies a turn with my little darlings. A 3-hour nap ending at 6pm should have put Katrina in good shape, but she was wasted when I picked her up at 8:30. She cried the whole way home and I put her right to bed when we got home. The boys were tired too -- while I was nursing Katrina before bed, they actually brushed their teeth!

5/24/07

5/23/07 Swim registration

Today was registration day at the Y for swim lessons! I got there just after 8am when they opened, took a number, then anxiously waited for my number to come up before Katrina's morning nap did. I was bouncing her around, hoping to keep her happy for a few more seconds. Then, finally! My turn!

"Oh, you're a Facility Member -- you could have done this at any time, starting two weeks ago. You didn't need to wait on line today!" Boy, did I feel dumb. "New Basic Member" registration referred to YMCA members, not swim program members as I'd assumed. Wake up, Mom! At least the boys will get some formal swim instruction this summer; I've really putzed it this year.

I managed to keep things under control all afternoon and evening, despite the fact that Dave left for a business trip in Dallas this morning.

A great way to get the boys to cooperate with the bath-bedtime process is to do something different, such as take a shower in our absurdly oversized Jacuzzi downstairs. They had a great time playing in the shower -- so great that I had a hard time getting them out. A sure-fire way is to turn the water on full cold. Amazing how these boys can hustle sometimes!

Katrina has been truly, thoroughly delightful lately. She loves sitting up and playing with toys, making all sorts of crackly squeaky happy sounds. She's still very smiley and often very silly, and welcomes new situations with a bright, fascinated face. If she cries, it's almost always for an obvious reason -- hungry, tired, needs changing. She's been sleeping through the night more often than not, though "sleeping through the night" means she wakes up at 6am, full of wiggles and kicks and grins. And so the party starts! It's a fun party, but I sure wish I could be fashionably late.

5/23/07

p.s. Day 16 of hives! Now you have to look around for them, but the tiniest scratch still swells up.

5/22/07 Wacky dinner night

Make-up swim lesson at Water Babies today. Julian was invited into the pool to play too, which he agreed to do only after Katrina and I were in the water and it was maximally inconvenient to get him dressed. Then he rudely informed me that I'd forgotten to get his goggles. OH WELL!

The wrapped-up-in-towels-after-swim-class-photo legacy lives on!


We went to Memorial Park in Cupertino today. It's a very, very nice park, except for two things. One, the parking is scarce and far away. But that's nothing compared to....

...Two, if you're busy feeding your baby, then look around for your 3-year-old, he might be happily sitting at the edge of an unfenced water hazard, poised to stumble into the water and quietly slip beneath its surface, terrified as water floods his lungs and he desperately gasps for air then struggles in terror, blacks out and slowly meeting a painful, invisible, silent end. Then there's the panic his mother is stricken with when she realizes she can't find him, to be replaced with paralyzing horror; agonizing guilt and deep, intense, life-changing grief when his helpless little body bobs to the surface, his face still contorted with his futile underwater screams for her.

Julian sitting peacefully by the water looks like a sweet scene, but the hair on the back of my neck stands up when I see it. Watching him while he looks at the ducks, fine. But shame, shame, shame on me for finding him here. He was chasing another boy, both running and paying attention to the ducks on the land, not to the edge of the water. Swim lessons since 3 months old mean absolutely zilch, he can drown just as easily as a kid who's never had a lesson. This terrifies me.


Shaken and filled with fearful guilt, I herded my errant son back to our blanket and got back to the business of minding my children. He enjoyed sitting with his baby sister, each munching their respective munchables.


Katrina got to show off her adorable new hat today. I love the flower detail on the side -- I know Bonne Maman had fun shopping for this one! The sun was strong today, so I'm glad for its wide brim.


She had fun in a swing at the park too. If I didn't know better, I'd have said she was pumping to get swinging, but it was probably just random wiggling that somehow converged into a rhythm.

Why bother with lunch when there's a perfectly good rubber swing to chew?





















Hives still alive and well!

Another mom today at swim class said that her 2-year-old broke out in hives mysteriously also, and they didn't go away for 5 months!! Pediatric allergists threw up their hands and said it was just something in her system that had to work its way out. In Katrina's case, since she's so much younger and hasn't been exposed to as many things, it's probably something more detectable. But now we're going on 15 days of these hives, and while they have improved, they're not improving fast enough to go away for another few weeks, if even. I wish our allergist appointment were sooner, it's not until June 21st, and I'm told we were lucky to get one that soon.


(Just like Gabriel...Katrina's ultra-skinny legs really show up in shorts. She used to have skinny ankles, but now her thighs are about the same as her ankles!)












Tonight Gabriel suggested having scrambled eggs for dinner, so I went along with the game of how silly it was to have breakfast for dinner. I asked "what else?" and he said "Shredded Spoonfuls!" So, that was part of dinner. I stuck in some leftover tater tots (OK, organic "spud puppies" from Whole Foods, but let's face it, they're tater tots), and the ubiquitous broccoli. Then it became funny that we were having dinner food (broccoli) for breakfast. Suckers!!
5/22/07

5/21/07 Opening gifts

I took Gabriel to an ear doctor today, an appointment made long ago regarding his hearing loss. He hasn't shown signs of it lately, but he still does have fluid in his eardrums that almost certainly compromises his hearing. Really, the only treatment is "watchful waiting" -- waiting for him to outgrow it -- or tubes. I think we'll wait until the end of the summer, when the inconvenience of tubes is lower (he'd have to use earplugs swimming) and the necessity of accurate hearing is higher (kindergarten!).

Tonight we opened some little gifts from Bonne Maman. What fun!

First, Gabriel and Katrina played with the mail bag itself.

Looking at the nice wrapping:

Julian got a little baseball outfit (HOW CUTE!) and Gabriel, a shirt with a truck on it (HOW PERFECT!). Wow! Thank you Bonne Maman and Papa Paul!!

Best of all, Katrina got exactly what "she" asked for: an adorable white hat with a nice wide rim. Yay! Katrina is my first baby who didn't pull hats off as soon as she could grab things, as her brothers did at 3-4 months old...though now she is starting to pull hats off:

Gabriel and Julian think it's no end of funny when she pulls her hat off. I'm not sure she thinks this is such a funny game, but as so often happens, as soon as I put a stop to it, she's smiling and acting like it was the bee's knees.

Gabriel had to sample the hat himself. The tough part was keeping a straight face as I goaded him: "Noooo laughing! Laughing not allowed! "

His shirt is a fabulous color on him, who'd have known he was an orange guy. It's a high-quality Gymboree size 5, so Mr. Little here will wear it for years.

Julian claimed he didn't want pictures, but I nailed the little stinker anyway.
The boys are SO excited about Bonne Maman's upcoming visit over July 4th -- as well as Aunt Stephanie, Uncle Andreas, and of course, cousin Aidan and cousin Remi! I'm really excited to show off my delightful, outgoing baby, well past her fussy period and instead showing signs of a serious attention span, like her brothers. As I suspected, sitting up has gone a long way toward improving her outlook, though of course now, the bar has been raised -- now she wants to get to things. Will she crawl before her brothers (9 months, 9-1/2 months), and better yet, completely walk before her brothers (17 months, 18 months) ?! Oh yes, PLEASE, baby! Show those boys! You go girl!

Errrgh. Another migraine today. This time, I'm trying Imitrex, my first prescription migraine medication. It wasn't looking good at first, but this evening, the pain is lessened, though not all the other symptoms. Migraines are about a lot more than just pain, which is what makes them migraines instead of "normal" headaches. In fact, to call them a "headache" is almost a misnomer, like calling a bullet wound in the torso a "stomach ache." It fills me with frustration again. Why am I cursed with this? What did I do to bring this on? Did I eat something wrong? Was I too impatient with my children? Did I snort with scorn at the wrong letter-to-the-editor in the newspaper? Did I pay our PG&E bill late? Clearly, I'm being punished for something.

At least my children were relatively rewarding today, all three of them. Three. Let's get this straight: three. THREE. (And I wonder why I have headaches?!)

5/21/07

p.s. DAY 14 OF HIVES!!!!! OK, now we're past the "two weeks is within normal limits for an allergic reaction." Looks like another trip to the pediatrician is in order.

5/20/07 Another house day

I wanted to do some more open-housing today, but it took until 3:30pm to make it happen! In the end, we only got to see one house, in Los Altos, that I didn't like much anyway. I should have known. $1.5 million is bottom-of-the-barrel in Los Altos. Of course, I'm not actually shopping to move yet; more, to decide if we want to move. Seeing other houses helps remind you of what you like about your own house, as well as adding items to a wish list.

Katrina has a slight cough, which wakes her up out of naps muuuch too early. Incredibly, she's been in a really good mood despite that: cheerful, laughing, sweet. I've also found a way to keep her busy for a while if I'm making dinner: give her pieces of cereal. She sits in the high chair, picks up cereal, very carefully puts it in her mouth, chews it a little, spits it out, then repeats the process until she has a gooey heap of half-chewed cereal on her bib. But she does this for over half an hour at a time, so I'm all for it!

I took this video of Katrina yakking the other day, just got around to posting it:


Tonight the boys got to watch Wallace and Gromit (after cleaning up the family room of course), and Katrina joined them for a while. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no TV for children under the age of 2, but there's my 7-month-old, happily nestled between her brothers, watching claymation.

Headache coming, overall unproductive day, bedtime.

5/17/07

p.s. oh yes, how could I forget: DAY 13 of hives!!! Every day it improves a tiny bit, but it's never hard to find red splotches or raised welts on poor baby's skin.