6/22/07 No-commitment Friday

I was nervous about today -- all three all day. I shouldn't be nervous doing my job!

But, it went great.

First, I took them all to Whole Foods this morning, and got away with it without being asked to leave.

After Katrina's nap, I took them all to my old gym for a weights class, and they all did fine in the gym daycare. There I saw my longtime acquaintance, the marathon runner with her four young children -- she handles all four all day, and that's with a husband who works at home and travels for work a lot. So who am I to complain?

Back at home, I got Julian down for a nap, then Katrina, then came downstairs to find Gabriel asleep on the couch, pillow and blanket and all. So I actually had about half an hour when everyone was asleep.

I took that time to sort through photo albums, as part of my closet-reorganization project. Some needed labelling; others got put in a box for future disassembly. Most have something to do with motorcycle travel and camping.

It was oddly surreal looking through those photos and being in my old life, with my new life (in the form of a just-woke-up rosy, tousled 5-year-old) looking over my shoulder and asking me questions like where the ground stops.

Who am I? Am I the beaten-down, frumpy, scatterbrained, hair-trigger, sullen, slog-through-life suburban housewife mom? Or the brave leather-clad dirt-covered 2-wheeled adventurer tackling a rocky road?

Then....












...and now:


Aw, but look at that adorable baby.

And tonight, Adorable Baby's pesky brothers are on a sleepover, so Dad and I got to sit together and actually talk and play with a crackly, giggly, happy, smiley, charming baby.










It occurs to me that if I were still childless and riding and camping all the time, I might wonder by now what I was missing out on. And as much as I miss my old self, I'm glad I know. And that I'm not missing out on it.

6/22/07

(Photos: Upper: Memorial Day weekend 1999, on a random trail in the Sierras somewhere around Quincy. Lower: 2004 Las Madres picnic, June 9 2007.)

6/21/07 The peanut and peanuts

Today was Katrina's pediatric allergist appointment.

The doc said the hives episode probably wasn't food-related, especially since the suspect food (yogurt) has since been re-introduced with no incident, and also given the length of the episode and how it gradually declined across that 3-1/2 weeks. Hives are an immune response to something, and we'll probably never know what -- just some random viral infection.

Actually, I'd concluded that the rash she had the day before I gave her the first yogurt was unrelated, but now it seems the rash supports the random-infection theory, and the yogurt was the red herring.

But since we were there, we tested her for dairy and peanut reactions. She got 4 pricks on her back, for control (C), histamine (H), peanut (8) and dairy (12). (I am very, very glad her brothers weren't there to see the nurse write on her back -- that'd have give my Magic Marker Monsters all sorts of ideas!!)

And, to my great dismay, she reacted to the peanut, as you can see from the puffy area next to the 8.

The allergist said this doesn't mean she's allergic, but she is predisposed (I wish I could remember his exact words). So, when she's a year old, we'll take her for a blood test, and depending on the outcome of that, we might introduce a "peanut challenge" in the office, if the blood test indicates a high risk of a bad reaction.

Meantime, there's no reason for me not to have peanut butter. He said that small bits of exposure could actually help her desensitize to it, and I recall my sister trying something like that with my food-allergic nephew (though time ultimately was the best solution, to some things). Katrina certainly has had minor contact with peanuts, mostly from peanut-butter-face-finger-smeared brothers giving her kisses when I had the nerve to turn my head. But, other sources say that allergies develop from exposure, rather than immune response developing from exposure. Obviously it's much more complex than that, and not one-size-fits-all. I'm lost.

Katrina was charming as ever, delighting every information-booth staffer, receptionist, nurse and medical technician we talked to. At least two people mistook her for a boy today (blue pants I guess?), so it's not just the girl factor. People just like being smiled at by babies. Actually, people just like being smiled at -- but only babies smile at any random person for no apparent reason.

Even though Katrina was ready for a nap by the time the back-pricking started, she didn't cry. Then I had to entertain her for 15 minutes sitting on the table, without being able to pick her up. Not easy! But, it was. A game of peek-a-boo had her in giggle fits, and the tissue paper covering the table was crinkly and breezy and great to bat at and chew on.

Predictably, she fell asleep in the car on the way to Tonya's, and woke up when I pulled her out of the car at Tonya's, but went right back to sleep in the pack'n'play at Tonya's. Such a darling baby.

I just realized today that our summer schedule doesn't leave me time alone with any of the three. I've really enjoyed the schedule transition that left me alone with Gabriel in the afternoons, actually, and I really wish I had time alone with Katrina. During her naps, I'll have some time alone with Julian on Wednesdays, but that's not quite the same thing. Still, self-centered as I am, what matters the most to me is time alone with just me, which is what our summer schedule is actually centered around. I don't really need all day though...sometime around 2-3pm, I'm ready to see them. I'm really going to like school days.

Betsy put it very well today, regarding having 3 kids: it's not the oldest one, and it's not the baby -- "It's the three-year-old!" Oh man, I hear it! I feel it! I live it! And it hurts!

6/21/07

6/20/07 The diagnoses

Diagnosis tummy: diastasis recti with an umbilical hernia.

Which is how you say in Latin: "Sorry, hon, that pooch is permanent. You done had too many babies."

The glue ("linea alba") that holds your -- not my anymore -- abdominal muscles together is stretched too thin now, and abdominal contents simply push out. The proof of this is when I lie on my back and lift a leg -- a ridge forms through my belly-button. Multiple pregnancies is the culprit, though not everyone who has multiple pregnancies gets it.

The good news: it's a common, harmless condition.

The bad news: no diet, no exercise, no surgery, no therapies, no drugs, no waiting -- absolutely nothing -- will fix it. No matter how thin or fit I ever get, I will always have this fanny pack around my middle.

If there's a silver lining, I guess it's that it happened as late in life as it did, as my expectations for bodily perfection are lower now anyway. I'm seeing my golden years peek on the horizon; I should be glad I've gotten away with what I have so far. But let's just hope low-rise pants stay in style, 'cause waist-buttoning is out for me forever.

Diagnosis back: mild scoliosis.

Not me, Dave. He didn't see a doctor today for any particular diagnosis, he saw one because I insisted and made an appointment for him. He is 40 now, after all. Men are supposed to get checked. Though the curvature in Dave's upper back is obvious, I hadn't noticed before that one shoulder is lower than another, indicating a spinal curvature. He has a vague recollection of hearing something about scoliosis earlier in life (maybe Laura remembers??). Another live-with-it thing, though the doc recommended against jogging. Not that Dave was in any danger of that.

Diagnosis sanity: severely compromised, and unable to withstand any further trauma.

Due to a schedule that hasn't settled yet, it happened this week that I had all three all day today. This, unlike the diastasis recti that ravages my midsection, is not a harmless condition.

Plus the cleaners this morning.

The kind ladies (who I appreciate so, so much), were scrubbing away upstairs smack dab when Katrina needed her morning nap. For the very first time ever in my dubious career as mother, I took my baby to a gym childcare and said, "Put baby to sleep please!" The Y Childwatch ladies, and Katrina, happily obliged. It was a good solution; I got the boys out of my hair, got out of the cleaners' hair, and got in a short workout before Julian's and Katrina's swim class.

Putting Gabriel into the logistical mix shouldn't, on paper, add much to the effort, as he is basically self-sufficient (can open car doors, strap himself in, un/dress himself, etc). However, while he alone doesn't directly cause problems, the effect he has on Julian is overwhelming. Dealing with the boys together at swim class today was an astounding pain in the ass, as they were constantly shouting together, running together, making obnoxious noises together, ignoring me together, being incredibly annoying together.

By the end of the ordeal of getting everyone dressed, I overheard two other mothers saying to each other, "I'm glad I have girls!"

Then I attempted to take everyone to Trader Joe's.

That didn't bode well when one too many unbearably rude insults by Gabriel (I forget what started it, but I do recall being called a liar) made me turn around and smack him, while in the busy parking lot at the Campbell Trader Joe's. I'm sure the numerous observers, who really were just waiting to park or cross the lot, were truly taken with my honed parenting skills. Great.

One of those observers was standing outside Trader Joe's, conducting a survey of some sort. I looked at her apprehensively, awaiting judgement, knowing she'd seen my transgression. But she smiled at me as I kneeled with the boys and reviewed the rules (which Gabriel claimed he didn't have to abide by) before we went into the "grownup place."

That same someone smiled wryly at me again, about 10 minutes later, when I furiously dragged a foul-mouthed protesting 5-year-old boy out of the store with one hand, yanking a puzzled but agreeable baby along for the ride on my hip, strap the kid forcefully into the car, and open the wagon hatch (the car windows were already open).

I don't know if she smiled when I fumed back past her to retrieve my cart, then head straight to the cashier with what I had, even if it didn't include the #1 thing I went there to get.

And then she smiled at me once again, sympathetically, when she saw me emerge about 5 minutes later, groceries in hand, 3-year-old asking plaintively, "Mommy, are you mad at me too?" I wonder if she smiled too at the tears in my eyes.

It's at times like this that I feel the worst for poor innocent Katrina.

At home, Gabriel went straight to his room until lunch was ready, as I needed a serious time-out from his rude defiant behavior. It took me long enough to get things under control in the kitchen that by the time I went up to release him, he'd curled up in bed and gone to sleep. Good.

Gabriel's time in the pokey allowed Julian to play with sidewalk chalk after lunch, unfettered by Gabriel stepping or kicking the chalk, or bossing him around and telling him he's not allowed to scribble. Gabriel ridiculing Julian's drawing bothers me a lot more than Gabriel crushing his chalk, but it's not really a punishable offense. I address Julian instead, talk to him about his drawing, tell him how cool I think it is, and contradict every mean thing Gabriel says.

Nothing short of a miracle occurred when we got home from the TJ's disaster though. Katrina fell asleep in the car on the way home, usually a nightmare for me because then that's IT for her nap. But she didn't wake up as I unstrapped the boys or unloaded the groceries. I gave it a shot -- and was able to transfer her to her crib and she took a long nap from there! A successful transer! A first!

If any evidence is needed to confirm my insanity, after everyone was up, fed and/or snacked, I took the bunch to Target. What a sucker for punishment. Why would I dare, especially when my patience points and good-momma-karma have been completely drained today? Maybe I wanted a chance at redemption, who knows.

But I succeeded. We pulled it off. Gabriel was in a great mood, and mostly talked excitedly as I shopped and mm-hmm'd him as convincingly as I could, about how he was going to build a motorboat and drive the boat to Africa with a purple pickup truck. He wants to live in Africa when he's grown-up. When I asked him what country he'd want to live in, he said, "Lake Tahoe!"

It also helped that Julian, being my only progeny who hadn't napped that afternoon, was rundown and tired, so he rode in the cart for a while. Between the physical barrier of the cart, Julian's lack of energy to get sucked into a game of Make Mom Hate Her Life, and Gabriel's new enthusiasm for shipbuilding and international travel, the trip to Target went very well.

Katrina, as usual, demanded that several other shoppers join her inner circle with her tractor-beam smile.

I went for a run at Rancho San Antonio tonight, late enough to span sunset and the onset of dusk, when all the animals come out. Deer, rabbits, birds...the whole cast of Bambi was there to see me detoxify my mind and body. I had only good, warm thoughts about my children as I puffed along.

I'd promised myself an easy run, but at the last minute detoured onto Mora trail, to avoid running past the Farm twice...I've run that trail before, but not in that direction. EEEP! STE-EEE-EEE-EEP! I had to coach my feet for every next step. But as difficult as that was, it was a single-minded, focused, nose-to-the-grindstone effort...something I really needed after a full day of dealing with my two sons together.

When I got home, I intruded upon a charming scene: Dave and Gabriel were sitting on our bed, reviewing coin-counting. I'd gotten Gabriel a small coin purse today at Target, and he wanted to put his coins into it, and play more adding-up games. He reminded me today that he had to "buy" breakfast, for instance. He insisted on labelling his new coin purse himself, with his full name, including his middle name James.
(Which reminds me, don't let even the most meticulous 5-year-old use a SHARPIE, you know those permanent markers, on the wooden butcher-block counter. But you knew that. Did I? Hel-LO. How long have I been doing this mom thing?! Do I not get it yet?!)

And here I sit, still sticky from my run, still frazzled and guilty from a traumatic day...well, traumatic afternoon...well, traumatic incident...actually, it was really only a traumatic moment, but it dominated my frazzle. Gabriel is overall such a nifty kid...he's just so (darned) persistent and determined and tough-skinned. He makes me so, so mad, and I love him so, so much.

I should be in bed with a hot water bottle on my head instead of typing now. See earlier reference to Diagnosis: sanity.

6/20/07

6/19/07 Great America

Gabriel went on his first field trip today -- a pretty big one for only his second day at Collins CDC! Great America is a huge amusement park in Santa Clara, and it was an all-day event for him. I really wasn't sure how to pack for him, and ended up with all sorts of problems, like his water bottle didn't fit in his backpack's outer mesh bottle pocket, so it got put into his backpack, and leaked all over everything.

The biggest quandary was lunch. The park doesn't allow you to bring in your own food (I'm sure they make exceptions as necessary), so instead, we were instructed to give him $10 - $30 in cash. But that's all the information they gave us, and I didn't realize the problems until the night before. Obvious things like: who carries the money? And how? I'm supposed to hand a $20 bill to a 5-year-old and expect him to make change and keep track of it?

Answer: yes! Sort of.

I found a pouch to transport the money in, and that got added to his backpack. We sent him with $12, and he came back with $2.80 and a lot of chocolate ice cream on his shirt, so somehow, it all worked out. I don't know how though. (One additional hurdle here is that since Dave did the dropoff and pickup, the teacher-parent communication had to pass through the formidable Father Filter, through which only the most salient of information fragments survive.)

So, Gabriel spent all day at a huge amusement park, got hamburger and chocolate ice cream and no doubt other junk food, rode on a roller coaster and other rides, plus his first school bus to get there -- all sorts of exciting stuff!

But the only thing he wanted to talk about was the money. The $2.80 he came home with.

He really wanted to know how much it all added up to. Dave showed him, then I did again, what each coin was, and how many cents it was worth. The concept that one coin could be worth more than another took a few times, but he seemed to accept it, if not understand it. It helped that some coins say how many cents they're worth, though I got a crash course in the US Mint when I discovered that dimes are apparently too small to print "ten cents" on.

Though he had a hard time remembering how much each coin was worth, it wasn't long before he was able to add up simple amounts, like 6 cents or 15 cents.

Then I made up a game that he LOVED: he had to "buy" each part of his dinner. So, green beans cost him 7 cents, rice cost him 16 cents, and chicken cost him 20 cents. For each item, he carefully picked out the right coins, and handed them to me, then I'd put the item on his plate, and put the coins back in his pile. I created a monster, because now he wants to do that for everything. But I also used this little lesson as a segue to suggest that he can earn money for extra jobs!

I've read that you can/should start kids on an allowance as young as 3, which seems way way WAY too young to me. But, Gabriel might be ready for an allowance, in small token amounts, since he's far from making rational spending decisions.

I can't believe it...my firstborn is really truly no longer a preschooler. And now that he's going to a place that's oriented for school-age kids, he's in a brand-new phase of life. I have to admit, I got a little choked up at his pre-K "graduation"...it all seems so significant -- and so exciting and wonderful, really. I just love seeing my firstborn turn into a genuine person.

Now, if only my second-born would drop the obnoxious toddler sh*t. And if only my third-born would stay an innocent, charming, giggly, squeaky, smiley, batting, adorable baby forever.

6/19/07

Julian's lips

I've always thought Julian had the most beautiful mouth, since he was born.

I still think that -- his lips are full, his mouth a beautiful shape. And he is a fantastic kisser, having practiced since he was 7 months old and made kisses all the time. Where did this feature come from? It's not characteristic of anyone in his immediate family.

Today I was doing basic triage on a box of random old photos from my Dad's family, and came across an old army photo of my grandfather, who we knew as Daddy Jay. Well, referred to as Daddy Jay -- my only memory of him was attending his funeral in Boston when I was about 5. What little we know of Daddy Jay was that he was a civil engineer, a career military man (Army Corps of Engineers, I think?), and attended but didn't graduate from MIT. My father used to tell us fantastic stories of Daddy's Jay's exploits -- discovering the North Pole and the Equator, for instance (we bought this for years!).

But who knew that a piece of Daddy Jay would show up decades after he passed.


Look at those puckers. Is there any doubt that Julian is his great-grandson?!

I'm still searching our ancestry for an explanation for Gabriel.

6/18/07 Happy baby

Just to complete the record, the Father's Day photo gifts.



But what better Father's Day gift than a happy, charming, delightful, fun baby? Today Katrina was in fabulous form, outdoing herself being outrageously, relentlessly funny and sweet.

And, I believe, she's officially sleeping through the night, if a full week counts. Today she woke up at 8am!! It helps when her brothers don't make a huge ruckus in front of her door at 6am (or worse, at 5:30am as they did, ironically, on Father's Day). I've had to put her back to bed a few times, like last night at 1:30am, when she coughed herself awake, but I don't count that. When that happens, I pick her up, sniff for diaper stinkers, hold her and see if the cuddle-drought continues (it does), put her back down, and hand her a dry corner of her favorite sucking blanket. And, she goes right back to sleep. Goooood baby.

Still no signs of crawling, but she's trying to reach farther out. I guess that's a start, though she gets stuck sometimes.

This joy made up for a lot today. First, I had a horrible headache again -- was I really in for a 5th Monday in a row of migraines?!

And, I couldn't nap it off this morning, since we had a carpet installer banging on the stairs. I gathered every ounce of energy I had and dragged us all to the Y instead, where Katrina ended up napping. I guess that was just as well, since no one was going to nap at home with that racket going on.

Later, our remodeling plumber showed up because of a wonderful new leak downstairs, from upstairs, which appears to be a tiling/sealing problem instead of a plumbing problem.

I seem to be permanently scarred from our year-long upstairs remodel, because any contractor showing up, no matter how courteous, how on-time, how helpful, or how necessary they are, I resent the intrusion. I know it's not their fault, but I just don't want them there.

Our generic term for contractors are "carpenters," which is how I described the carpet installer today to Julian. For once, the description made sense to Julian: "Oh that makes sense -- the carpenter is installing the carpent!" Thank goodness Julian was cooperative about a nap today. And thank goodness that the brief snooze I was able to get, curtailed by a cough, was enough to get me over the hump and get past a headache without prescription drugs.

Gabriel's first day at Collins CDC went great! Dave dropped him off, and said his new teacher talked right away about getting Gabriel comfortable, helping him transition to a new place...Dave shrugged it all off, as I would have. In fact, I almost forgot to remind Gabriel last night that he was going somewhere new tomorrow. We're so blase about this, because new situations are non-events for him. He adapts so, so easily, or, put another way, he just doesn't seem to care much one way or another. I guess there are advantages to a tough skin. I have to remind myself that the other two might actually need some support, comfort and...what's that other thing they're supposed to get...oh yeah, parenting, in new situations.

Gabriel said it went "mostly well." I pressed him on "mostly," and he related a story that he only had two big Lego blocks, and some other kid had more. So Gabriel said he pointed this out to the other kid and told him it wasn't fair and he should share, and apparently the other kid told him where to go. Gabriel said he told the other kid "Fine, I won't be your friend," and that was it. I'd love to know what the real story is, but I don't doubt that Gabriel made a demand of a bigger, older kid, which other than a few other kindergartners, they all are. I'm glad he's going to get shot down, actually.

Tomorrow he goes on a field trip to Great America, a HUGE amusement park. Thank goodness it's them and not me!

6/18/07

6/17/07 Father's Day

Lucky me! I got photos of Dave and the whole bunch today.






















Lucky Dave! He got a photo of me and the whole bunch, framed, to put in his office.

Lucky kids! They got to run in the fountains this afternoon.

Lucky baby! All this new stuff to look at, and new people to beam smiles at.

(Notice her brothers in the background, preparing an assault on the hapless water towers.)




(yeah, I'm pooped too.)

6/17/07

6/16/07 Gabriel crashes

Ouch! Dave took the boys to Varian park today for bicycling. Dave didn't see it happen, but Gabriel crashed hard, scraping both elbows and one knee pretty well. He even cried.

But that wasn't the worst thing that happened. Apparently, there are some thorns on the ground there, off the pavement, where Gabriel went exploring at Dave's suggestion. Said thorns put multiple punctures in both of Gabriel's tires. Dave spent the rest of the day finding a bike shop that was open and had what he needed to replace the innertubes, plus add a protective layer in, then fixing the tires. What a dad.

Though I'm feeling serious time pressure to finish my "closet" project, I pretty much expected that filling my car's gas tank up would be my major accomplishment for the day. But, incredibly, I made serious headway on my project this afternoon.

This was largely because Julian was absolutely unbearable when Dave returned from the park with Gabriel's wounded bicycle, so as troublesome as he was, I insisted on getting him down for a nap. I'm sorry to say this required two smart smacks, at separate times, to get him to cooperate, as every step of the way, and I do mean EVERY step (all 13 of them leading to the upstairs) required a warning, repeat, countdown, etc. I'm sorry, Supernanny, but breaking him out of his obnoxious resistance is worth the psychological damage being smacked might do to him. Besides, what about my emotional health? It's far better for both of us to yank him out of brat mode, then get on with the much more pleasant business of reading a story! (And thank goodness he can be yanked out of it, as that was not the case with his stubborn brother.) We are going to seriously celebrate when Julian turns 4. Unfortunately, we have another six months of 3 to endure.

So, I got Julian down, and he slept soundly for 4 hours until Dave woke him up. Katrina then took a nap too, leaving me with this astounding time windfall to build Shelves and organize Stuff and throw away Junk.

Katrina continues to show the world just how wonderful babies can be. She eats well, naps well, goes down for naps and bedtime easy as pie, she's been sleeping through the night for a week now (WHEEE-HAWWWW!!), she makes the most adorable "ba-ba-ba ma-ma-ma" sounds, she sits and plays just wonderfully for a long time, she beams at people in stores, cocking her head in play, almost demanding that they join her little game. She's completely irresistable.

After a huge sushi dinner at Midori tonight, it was time to put kids to bed. Thanks to it being close to the longest daylight day of the year, I had enough time to go out and run. I really didn't want to, feeling tired and slow after a big dinner. Compulsively, I forced myself, fantasizing about oatmeal-raisin cookies on the way. After a slow, grumpy start, the endorphins kicked in, and I had a great run. I took a route that doesn't have a lot of steep uphills, and what a difference that makes! (Parking -> Farm -> Rogue Valley -> Ravensbury -> Chamise -> Rogue Valley -> Farm -> Coyote -> Parking). Mind clear, body strong -- what a nice change from my usual dragged-out-mom feeling. And back to that first thing tomorrow.

6/16/07

6/15/07 Gabriel's last day at Kids Inc.

Gabriel graduated from pre-K yesterday!

I was really impressed with the effort Mrs. Rosie put into the whole graduation cermony. The kids had been rehearsing for weeks.

First, the kids filed out in procession, wearing caps and gowns, to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance, of course.

Then they sat in their chairs, and Mrs. Rosie spoke for a few minutes.



Just as Mrs. Rosie was about to start the music for a song, I was a little appalled to see one mom break ranks from the audience and cross the "stage" to straighten her daughter's cap, fussing to get her bangs under the cap. Incredibly, this rude interruption somehow invited other parents to do the same!! I mean, really! Finally Mrs. Rosie gently nudged them away with, "OK, we're going to start the song now..."

Then they all sang a song about the sun, waving a little sun they'd each made out of a paper plate.


Then each graduate came up and read a few lines from a nursery rhyme into the mike (a short clip of Gabriel reading is in yesterday's post).

Then they each got a balloon and they all let them go at one time, cheering, to say goodbye to preschool.

Then they each filed up, one by one, to collect their diplomas.

And then they all posed for photos before filing back inside to the classroom, where we collected a bound scrapbook with various artwork and photos collected across the whole year, a necklace they'd each made with their names, and a wrapped gift. Wow!


Somehow, the director of the school got caught with a dead car, and wasn't there -- she really was the one who should have caught the parents' attention to give a big public thank-you to the teacher. She really deserved it. (I made an attempt once we were all back in the classroom, but everyone was milling around, so it was hard.) I'm glad I got Gabriel to make a card for Mrs. Rosie though. Really, very nicely done. I have mixed feelings about Kids Inc; the facility/building is really poor, but the pre-K teacher is great. That makes up for a lot.


After the ceremony, Gabriel asked Pranav to sign his autograph book (part of the scrapbook), and Pranav's mother suggested they pose for a photo together. Apparently these two have become friends, though Gabriel rarely talks about other kids at school. Unfortunately, Pranav isn't going to Gabriel's same elementary school next year.



During the ceremony, I was a little concerned about how Katrina would be, as evenings are always iffy for babies. But, silly me, I underestimated her again. She had a grand time, absolutely beside herself at all this new activity and people to see. Quite the little social butterfly.


Julian, very typically, was entranced, watching quietly with wide eyes and open mouth, soaking it all in with his usual reserve. But I wouldn't be surprised if months from now, he related some incident or thing he observed during the ceremony. He surprises me more and more often with something I thought of as so small and insignificant, but he remembers. This is much much more like his cousin than his brother.

As for today...I had an OB appointment, so Julian and Katrina went to Tonya's this morning, as Gabriel had his last morning at Kids Inc. Whatever's bothering my tummy really is tummy -- good news, I guess, since I'm seeing a gastroenterologist next week.

I had the afternoon alone with all 3 kids, which in some ways is getting harder than it was, but in other ways it's easier too. It really all depends on what the boys are doing. If they get involved in something new, I'm in great shape. But if not, and Julian doesn't take a nap....ugh. Then it's nonstop ordering them to quit bothering Katrina, stop squeaking a toy in her ear, take your stinky foot out of her face, give her the toys back, no more patting her head, don't grab her hands, OK that's enough, go into the living room, go into the living room right now, go into the living room RIGHT NOW....~EXPLODE~ RIGHT NOW! NOW!! >> N O W !! << Then comes the name-calling, insult-hurling, threats, claims that they don't have to do what I say, punching chairs, throwing sandals...and it all goes downhill from there.

Motorcycles and neighbors' backyard pools have been described as "attractive nuisance" hazards to kids. Well, so is an adorable baby sister. Who completely undermines my efforts by beaming and laughing at her brothers.

I'm FINE with them playing with her, and I let a lot slip -- she leads a tough life, I know that, and I really don't think I'm high on the overprotective scale. But I'm never sure when they're going to go too far, like when I caught Julian bouncing her finger between his teeth yesterday, or when I see Gabriel's filthy fingers doing a spider walk over her eyes, or when Julian "pretends" to put Scotch tape on her face.

Today Gabriel asked Dave how many hours were in a year. Dave said he didn't know, we'd have to calculate it. So now, Gabriel is ALL into "calculating" : "let's calculate, Dad!" I don't really think he knows what it means exactly, but he thinks it's cool.

6/15/07

6/14/07 Katrina's goofy giggle

Katrina has a silly new way of laughing, by panting air out of her nose with a scrunched-up face. It is so silly it's hard to tell it's a laugh! Not the best example here, but still gives you the idea:


Lots more to say about Gabriel's pre-K graduation tonight, but it's too late and I'm too tired and Katrina is coughing (! wah!) too much.

Whoops, my youtube upload finished. OK, here's Gabriel reading a nursery rhyme as part of the graduation ceremony. Each kid got up and read about 4 lines that they'd rehearsed. Mrs. Rosie (the teacher) said they all LOVED talking into the microphone!


6/14/07

6/13/07 Katrina eats

After Katrina's pediatrician visit last week, I tried giving her yogurt again. No hives! Not for days! Not to mention, talking with the ped. made me realize we'd been giving her milk-based formula all along (when she goes to Tonya's). So I don't think she's dairy-allergic.

So, I'm opening the floodgates. Today, Katrina tried a whole bunch of new foods, mostly because I happened to have them leftover from other meals, and figured she should try them too.

One of the things I like about making baby food, rather than using jars, is just my own mindset. More and more, I can think of her as eating what we have, avoiding certain things of course, and putting it into a form she can eat. You'd think with the 3rd baby, I'd make less baby food, but it's proved to be exactly opposite. The one thing that's fallen by the wayside is the porridge from grain, but I guess that's because I know that's temporary anyway. All my food-making is geared toward her eating the same thing everyone else does.

Besides, she doesn't seem to like any of the jars I've tried for "emergencies." So when I'm in a time crunch and she doesn't like what I've made for her, I've had to dig deeper, because jars don't seem to be the answer. Even the one thing I thought jars do pretty well -- pears -- are watery and tasteless. The pear puree I make is SO GOOD I almost don't want to "waste" it on her!

So, today, she got some fork-mushed kiwi slices, and she LOVED them. Then I added some leftover quinoa and finely chopped broccoli to her lunch of pureed yams, as well as some turkey bits. She gobbled it all. For such a tiny little baby, she sure can pack it down.

There are downsides to making baby food, especially the purees. It's a LOT of extra cleanup and water usage. And, you might get a fast science lesson when you add a little cold water to a glass pan that's been roasting yams at 400 degrees (hint: POW!).

The other good news is that she slept all night again until 6:40am this morning!

Today Julian did great in swim class -- confident, cheerful, willing. It's so much like him, it takes about 4-5 times before he kicks into gear.



Katrina too had a great time, though as usual, she cried with teacher Joey. I tried high-diving her (holding her up over my head, then diving her head-first into the water), and she came up like nothing had happened.




Is it because she's a girl and dressed in girl-clothes? I get SO many comments about how cute she is -- more, I think, than I did for the boys. Yet I know baby boys, having had two of them, are just as cute as baby girls. Or is it because she is so petite? Or that she's not virtually bald like her brothers were at this age? Hard to say. She is very outgoing and smiley though, maybe that's why. Of course, what mom doesn't think her 8-month-old baby is the most beautiful sight there is?

Speaking of 8-month-old baby, two things there are no signs of at all: teeth, and crawling. But she's sleeping through the night half the time. I'll take it.

6/13/07

6/12/07 Julian remembers

Driving back from picking up Katrina and Julian from Tonya's this afternoon, the boys and I were talking about "other Gabriels" and "other Katrinas."

Julian piped in, "There's another Julian!". "There is?" I asked absently. He said, "Yes, in Erin's backyard."

Indeed, thinking about it, at Erin's 4th birthday party, last October, before Katrina was even born, there was another Julian at the party. Apparently it made quite the impression on him. Maybe this sort of remembering is typical for 2-year-olds (he was still 2 then), certainly his cousin Aidan would remember things like that, but it's new to me. Amazing what sticks in their little minds!

Katrina woke up at 7am today, the second time in a few days. This is the beginning of "sleeping through the night" -- yay!

Productive meeting with an architect this afternoon. The verrry first baby step!

6/12/07

6/11/07 Gabriel's map

Gabriel drew a map today, starting it at school, then completing it at home.

It started with the points labeled "HS" (for "house") and "SR" (for store), then expanded to include China. He's been very interested in China lately, which is odd since none of his classmates are Chinese, which is even odder.

The yellow strip is hot lava, he says. Then, "you know what this little black thing is? That the hot lava is bending around?" No I don't, Gabriel, tell me. In his best WELL DUH voice, he enlightened me: "It's a hot-lava-bender, Mom!" Silly me.

I had a miraculous afternoon with the boys, considering how badly the day could have gone. I fought a headache all morning, and finally caged and took some Imitrex in the afternoon, resigned to knowing I'd feel worse for a few hours first. But it came through, and I was able to function the rest of the day.


Better yet, Katrina took a nice long afternoon nap, allowing me some nice time with the boys, who were strangely well-behaved despite Julian not taking a nap. But they insisted on being silly when I tried to take pictures.

We spent some time putting together the shelves I bought at IKEA ... how many weeks ago? I've gotten pretty good at finding "jobs" for them; they like "helping" me build stuff. Occasionally Gabriel really IS a help!


This is Julian after washing his face himself, having come inside looking like he was trying to camouflage himself with dirt.

Though the migraine drug helped, it's still not the same as not having a headache to begin with. So I forced myself to go to the Y tonight, and dragged myself through an unusually unsatisfying workout, especially given my persistent, and I think, growing, spare tire around the middle.

I'm actually starting to get worried about it. I've been pretty controlled about what I eat, exercise regularly, and on the occasions I dare to weigh myself, I'm at a decent weight. Yet this tummy-sticking-out thing just seems to get worse. I swear, I looked pregnant tonight, and what's more, when I sit down, it pushes against my lungs uncomfortably, like when I was pregnant. Sometimes, something feels like it's pulling on me inside, and at times, I can lie down and just watch things move around, tighten, and contract, like mini Braxton-Hicks contractions. This can't be right. I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist next week, I hope he can tell me something, though I might be seeing the wrong kind of doctor if this is related to the tubal ligation.

At least I forgot about the headache for a while tonight though. Mission accomplished.

6/11/07

6/10/07 Riding at Creekside Park

This morning after our usual big breakfast to-do, we took the boys to Creekside Park in the hopes of finding more room for them to practice riding. There's a big soccer field with a paved sidewalk perimeter, perfect for Gabriel to ride, but also, the field would provide some runoff room for Julian.

A big challenge with this bicycling thing is that Gabriel isn't quite mature enough to be counted on not to run into things, on purpose or by accident. I know from other parks how annoying -- and unsafe -- it is to have kids riding bicycles around pathways where toddlers are liable to dart out at any moment, from the perspective of the toddler-mom, that is. So I need to find parks where we can see him, and that he can ride on paths not shared by playgrounds, little kids, and people who want to walk along calmly without being barreled over by a hells-on-wheels 5-year-old.

The theory basically worked at Creekside: Gabriel rode around in circles happily, though I can see that getting old for him after a while. But he got to ride farther and faster than he ever has.

You can't see it in that video, but he's getting fast. Taking him to someplace like Shoreline Park would require one of us to have a bicycle too.


Julian, meantime, is doing fine with the riding part, but stopping and starting, not so much. He can use his coaster brakes to stop, but not to slow down, so he starts to panic if he gets going too fast. And he always does get going too fast, because he doesn't know how to ride slowly yet.

Then there's the problem that he's just 3 years old. The most minor thing distracts him, such as when he's riding along fine, then screeches to an ungraceful stop and drops the bike, just to tell me that his fingernail is too long or that he has to scratch his nose.

So it's a lot of work helping him, but he does make it a decent distance (25 meters or so?) before he comes to a semi-crashing halt. Enough that I'm finding immediate benefits to the running habit I'm still clinging to (2x a week or so, just enough to stay in training zone and never really improve!). He still has a way to go before he's really riding on his own, but he's on his way!

Katrina played on the family room floor tonight for 40 minutes while Dave had the boys out to Safeway, and I was making dinner. I'd set her up with a basket of toys, figuring I had about 5 minutes, but she was still there when the boys got back. She took especial interest in a board book, carefully turning it over, opening it, playing with the pages. I frequently made eye contact and talked to her, but she was just fine for a time longer than many 5-year-olds would play on their own. I was amazed. Of course, that sort of concentrated play would have been out of the question with any brothers here.

Brutal headache today, getting ready to turn into a nasty migraine tomorrow, I'm sure. This will be the fourth Sunday in a row that I predict a Monday Migraine. What is that about?!

6/10/07

6/9/07 No more training wheels?

This afternoon, we went to Portal Park for a Las Madres 2004 picnic. Father's Day picnic, as it turns out. I'm glad I semi-forgot about that, so that Dave didn't feel obligated to go. Time off from children alone at home is at a premium around here.

There were some games intended for the kids and grownups to do together. The boys didn't have a grownup, since I had to watch Katrina, but that didn't seem to phase them. Luckily, Betsy was able to corral them and tell them what to do. She even attempted to get Gabriel to play the role of father in one game! Clever!

In the end, they both got ribbons and were happy about that.











Later, Dave took the boys out bicycling. When they got home, they showed me a new development: Julian can ride without training wheels!!

Riding is one thing, of course, but stopping and starting is something else. He needs a lot of help for that, but still, he certainly gets the concept. When he looks where he's going, he can even steer.

Then we went to Willow Glen in the hopes of making it to an open house, at the same new Craftsman-y house I'd seen some weeks ago. The open house was supposed to close at 4:30, but apparently 4:25 is the new 4:30, as we and another couple were stymied by this new interpretation of time.

The plan was to go to the open house, then go out to an early dinner in downtown Willow Glen (an area in San Jose with a short main drag of a downtown with shops and restaurants). We went to Mio Vicino -- a poor choice, in retrospect. Dave and I have a soft spot for Mio Vicino, as our first date was at the one in Santa Clara, and we used to love the one in Campbell until it closed, but this one was different. Service was poor, food was slow, which is painfully magnified when your good-kid-time clock is ticking.

Katrina, incredibly, sat quietly in the high chair chewing on Corn Chex and bread for the 40 minutes it took to get our dinners. She has really been earning good-baby points lately.

Next time, we'll go to Willow Street Pizza, another place we have a soft spot for. Our first kiss was after a date at the one in Los Gatos. And the Willow St. Pizza in Willow Glen was always our kick-off point for our numerous trips to Big Sur the summer we were planning our wedding. Willow St. Pizza is more kid-suitable anyway.

Grand plans busted notwithstanding, at least we got our brood to bed early.

6/9/07

6/8/07 Katrina's weight check

Dave returned from a business trip tonight, mercifully ending my tenure as a single stay-at-home mom. And not a moment too soon.

There are stay-at-home moms. And there are single moms. But there are very few single stay-at-home moms. There's a reason for that.

Actually, the day went pretty well, all things considered. Though I got too little sleep last night, I was able to take a decent nap this morning, thanks to a sound baby nap and thanks to Julian playing on his own downstairs for two hours. I wasn't asleep all that time, so I listened in on him. Mostly he was singing along with two Sesame Street CDs, coloring, and riding his bike. He also spent some time making a "race number," which is drawing a number on a piece of paper, cutting it out, then taping it to his shirt. Interesting how he cut it out, considering his scissors are missing.

Katrina had another weight check appointment today. As is now usual, she was excited about the new situation, and thought the waiting room was all sorts of fun.

So, she weighs 14 lbs 4 oz (rounding up a fraction of an ounce), having put on 10 ounces in a month. She's still hanging onto the chart, barely, at 3rd percentile, but our pediatrician didn't think there was anything to worry about. One look at this beaming baby, and it's clear she's developing just fine.

The pediatrician also said the longest hive episode she'd heard of was two years (!), and said it's not uncommon for kids to have lengthy hive outbreaks that eventually go away and you never really know what caused it. Those usually aren't food allergies, and Katrina's hives fit that category (you know, that "one of those things, we have no idea" category). As we were getting into the car afterward, a centimeter-long white line raised up on her face amidst a dime-sized red blotch, as if to remind me that it's not quite over.

Julian was so good during Katrina's appointment, sitting quietly in a chair and flipping through a Parenting magazine. He was really, really good this morning, and that's saying a lot!

Gabriel asked me today where the edge of the sky is.

6/8/07

6/7/07 A rough bedtime

Just after watching an episode of Supernanny, and determining to be on my best Mom behavior, I completely lost it tonight.

As I was getting Katrina ready for bed, I called to the boys to get ready for their bath, and they mostly ignored me. After repeated asking, demanding, countdowning, flat-out ordering, and lots of rude and defiant talk back ("you can't order me around Mommy -- now STOP it" -- from Julian!), I picked Gabriel up and stuck him on his bed, hard, and he kicked me in the stomach. That earned him a hard smack on a conveniently bare bottom, and it all went downhill from there.

The low point came when the boys were shouting that they hated me and were demanding that I leave, and I lost my patience and did exactly that. I picked up a surprisingly calm Katrina, told them "Fine, I'm leaving then," and stalked downstairs. They followed me downstairs, naked, bawling and screaming and begging me not to leave. I'd gone too far, again. I knelt and started to hug them both, and was about to explain that I'd never leave them....and in the pinnacle of a turnaround moment, Katrina hurled ALL over -- all over her pajamas, my shirt, pants, and the floor. I had to drop everything and do some basic triage on the mess, with the boys still beside themselves. Great.

Later, I was trying to rinse shampoo lather off Gabriel's face, Katrina was working on a diaper change, Julian was sitting on the toilet crying for me to hold his hands, and I still had spitup all over me. Major overload. At times like this, I fall back on a most unlikely source of guidance: my first MSF (Motorcycle Safety Foundation) class. Separate your hazards. Prioritize your immediate risk. Be aware of all potential threats, but deal with them one at a time.

So when all four of us need something, I have to pick one first, quickly. That's why I spent at least half an hour with my clothes clinging to me with spitup.

And Supernanny? Out the window. So much for my resolve not to lose my temper, not to react when they laugh at me, not to shout when they ignore me, not to scare them. Maybe I'll do better tomorrow.

At least we had a nice time reading before bed, and then I made sure to tell them both that I'd never ever leave them, because I'm their mommy. A lofty title I'm not sure I deserved tonight. (The movie line rings in my head: "...and don't give yourself pious airs about motherhood....why, a cat is a better mother than you!" Ooh, harsh.)

I had this afternoon alone with Gabriel, who went straight outside after we got home after I picked him up. I saw him sitting by his bicycle on the grass, and figured he was toying with the kickstand. A good half hour later, he was still there, hadn't budged, and was still staring at the fence.

I went outside to talk to him, and all he said was that he thinks we should paint the fence blue. Is this what keeps a 5-year-old's mind busy for over half an hour?!


Here's what kept him busy yesterday, a drawing of a train. These drawings take him a long time, as he is very meticulous and careful to stay within his own lines. But the fact that he's been drawing pictures at all is a fairly new, and intriguing, thing for him.

This day deserves to be retired.

6/7/07

6/6/07 New Look

I've been wanting to change the look of this blog for a while, and tonight took two steps forward, one step back. The steps forward are the colors and width, but backward are the little rounded corner turds in the header. I know why that is, but don't feel like finding a workaround right now. Still, overall, I like this better. Let me know if you have trouble reading it.

Old posts will have fonts that look too small now, but for new posts, I won't always have to change the font.