8/6/07 Migraine Monday

Did today actually happen? It was just a big blur, of intense pressure and sharp pain. The few moments when I wasn't staggering in pain were spent feeling angry and frustrated that my life is so compromised by this. It's such a waste of time.

I think today was the first day ever that my most troublesome child (code for "least favorite," but face it, we all feel that way sometimes) was Katrina. Her new high-pitched screech is piercing, incredibly loud, long-lasting, and a very bad mix with a migraine headache. It's like someone's taking a sharp awl and stabbing it into my ears, and is torture when she's screeching in an echo-y bathroom when I'm changing her. Owch.

I guess one good thing about hurting so badly all day is that I couldn't even try to do much. So I spent some time playing music for Julian and Katrina and playing instruments with them. Katrina loves music, instantly bopping and flailing and smiling as soon as she hears it.

She had a lot of fun rattling an egg shaker, then banging on a drum with Julian, who also loves music. All kids do, really, but I think Julian takes to it more than Gabriel does. Katrina, we don't know yet; all three of my babies responded enthusiastically to music; Julian's stuck with it more than Gabriel.

After swim lessons today, I was beside myself with agony -- and I don't use that word lightly. So no matter how bad I felt, I was getting the younger two down for naps at the same time if it killed me. Indeed, failing at that is what would kill me. I pulled it off, and then went straight downstairs to scarf some lunch, then lie down.

But a Good Mom would have noticed that even my ultra-self-entertaining oldest child was bored. This is a new thing: Gabriel needs new things to do. All our toys are oriented to younger kids. He still plays frequently with his beloved wooden train tracks, but that's a toy he's had since before he was 2 (talk about longevity!). He's ready for more.

So I played a rainy-day trump card, and pulled out something I'd stashed for just such an occasion: a kit of foam pieces to glue together into a castle. He took right to it, and put it together meticulously, following the example picture exactly. This kept him happy the rest of the afternoon.

Tonight I was working on dinner, when suddenly, I saw the pantry door started to move mysteriously. Hmm! What could be going on here?

I soon had my answer.



Little creepy-crawly into the baking stuff. Right after my own heart!

Despite feeling exhausted and dejected, I made myself go to the Y tonight after Katrina was in bed. It helped somewhat. I have way too much to do tomorrow to waste it sleeping off a horrible headache.

8/6/07

8/5/07 They're baa-aack....

23 days! I went 23 days without a migraine headache! The way this year's gone with headaches, that's downright startling.

I know this because I endured 9 straight days of life-altering brutal depressing pain in July, then got really really sick. But the first day I was really sick, I didn't have a headache. And haven't had one since.

Until last night, that is. I felt the "prodrome" -- the warning signs. Irrationally, unbearably, almost painfully sleepy, and very sensitive to loud sharp sounds, though who can tell? Loud sharp sounds are a way of life around here.

Then this morning...the onset of the familiar, dreadful, sharp, pressure and pain. Oh, how wonderful and free life is without it! How productive, optimistic, energetic -- even happy -- I can be about each day!

In the hurried $160 ten-minute brush-off I got from my last appointment (and I do mean last) with the headache doctor, between scribbling his notes and glancing nervously at the clock, he said slightly condescendingly that I should take the Imitrex when I first start to feel the migraine. I reminded him that he'd told me to take it at the onset of pain, not at the prodrome -- two events that can be separated by up to a day. No, no, he said, take it when you start to feel you're going to get it. Cap on pen. Close folder. Fold hands. Direct look at me. "Anything else?" Don't worry, I know where the door is.

I took some Imitrex this morning, and was overall pain-free until tonight, though the pressure and resulting sleepiness were still there all day. I went running tonight too, and the first half of the run was miserable, until the endorphins kicked in and overcame the pain. A good steep uphill took care of that.

My only outing today was to go to a friend's house that's being remodeled, to check out the kitchen and the whole house too. She and her husband and 3-year-old son moved out for the remodel, which is really more like building the entire house from scratch. Last week, I went to another friend's mother's house to check out her very well-thought-out and feature-filled kitchen too. One kitchen isn't finished; the other has been lived in for almost 20 years. Two very valuable perspectives! Each visit is very productive, in getting thinking about big things (flow) and small features (appliance garage or not?).

Lots of sniffing around other peoples' kitchens, reading magazines, quizzing friends and daydreaming has driven home the utter inadequacy of my own kitchen. My existing kitchen only has 5 drawers. Five! And one of those is broken! Which doesn't matter much because it's almost at the floor anyway. Most bathrooms have more drawers!

I brought Julian with me to check out my friend's house. I didn't want to stick Dave with all 3 alone if I didn't have to, and removing Julian from the mix is optimal. He seemed elated at this special trip, saying thank you to me again and again for bringing just him. He asked why Gabriel wasn't coming, and I explained, with some truth, that Gabriel was staying home to "take care" of Katrina. Julian was pretty good at my friend's construction-zone house, for a while, and when he started to get annoying, my friend's husband took him outside to look for squirrels, permanently making a new friend.

When we got home, it turned out that Katrina was still napping -- she took one three-hour nap today. As much as I love baby naps, I'm already ready for her to drop one nap, but she was so tired by 6:00pm that it's clear she's not ready for that yet. She's only 10 months old (today!) after all.

Well, I was looking forward to tomorrow, believe it or not, even though I'll have all 3 all day. Maybe it's because I know that "all 3 all day" is soon going to end, since Gabriel will belong to the schools in a few weeks. How infuriating that I'll spend one of those now-precious "all 3 all day" days fighting with a miserable headache and desperate to go to sleep. I could use another 23 days off.

8/5/07

8/4/07 The two pools

Today the boys started a 4-class session of swim lessons at the same pool where I swim.

Gabriel really wanted to see a 50-meter pool, and when we arrived, he asked a lifeguard how deep it was. She assured him it was only 3-1/2 feet deep where he'd be swimming, mistaking his question as motivated by fear. No, Gabriel just likes to fish for big numbers. He wasn't impressed with 13-1/2 feet deep.

The boys got put into the same class, and it's small, so in theory, the teacher can adapt the instruction according to the kids' ability. In practice, both of them were given instruction at about the same level a brand-new 2-year-old might get.

The boys clung to the side until the teacher pulled them around in a slow semi-circle, saying "whee!" if they actually put their face in the water. Later, one of the lifeguards told me they'd bump Gabriel up a level, but really, I didn't see anything being taught for little kids that comes close to even Julian's level.

Then again, how would they ever know that he can jump in and swim across the pool taking his own breaths if they don't ask him to? Julian isn't about to volunteer that. And Gabriel does more than that in his Tuesday morning swim lessons -- he works hard, in fact.

We'll bring them back next week, but my guess is that this place is a bust for them too. Not to mention the inevitable complaints about being cold. They're very spoiled by the ultra-warm waters of the teaching pools oriented toward little kids.

Then this afternoon, we went to one of Dave's coworker's annual pool party, in her backyard.

There, we had vindication of sorts. I insisted on being in the water with the boys at first, quickly remembering that even last year, I felt comfortable enough just sitting by the edge and watching them. And this year, Gabriel had no compunction about jumping in the deep part and swimming across to get to a chair. Later, Dave played a game with the boys that involved them swimming -- really swimming -- to retrieve a frisbee.

Even though Dave's been the one taking them to (so far failure) swim lessons on Saturdays, he hasn't seen Gabriel really swim, and he was impressed. Even Julian, once he gets past his initial hesitation, is very comfortable jumping in and making progress toward a target using his arms and kicking.

For me, all the time and expense of swim lessons come together when I see them just....swimming. They're just having fun and playing, but they're both clearly using the skills and confidence they've gotten from swim lessons. Gabriel especially is old enough now that it's really sinking in (hmm, poor choice of words!), since he can follow instructions and remember and his lessons are more than just playtime. It's really gratifying to see them applying what they've learned in a fun context, without thinking about it or concentrating, just....swimming.

In fact, at what age do you stop being completely paranoid about water safety? Knee-jerk answer is to say "never," but really, at some point, you're going to let them swim without being in the water with them, then without being right by the side of the pool. I'm not there yet by any means -- a 5-year-old who doesn't quite make it across the pool and starts to panic can easily drown -- but today I certainly didn't worry watching Gabriel jump into water well over his head, even when I was too far away to rescue him quickly. (In fact, it's become more of a safety hazard for him to jump in where it's too shallow.)

I also saw Gabriel politely, but with clear irritation, ask (demand?) that another much older, bigger kid let go of the chair he was on, when the other kid playfully swam up to it and started spinning it around. "Can you let go of that right now please?" Gabriel insisted. I watched Julian in a similar situation, and he took the opposite approach, instead engaging into the other kids' game.

Katrina joined in the fun too, as did Dave. As soon as I brought her in, she immediately started smiling and flailing around in the water until another grownup approached me -- then she launched into her pitiful cry, clearly mistaking the other adult as a swim teacher. But after some time in the water, she relaxed around other grownups. She was so exuberant that it got hard to hold her, as she splashed and blew raspberries and laughed and tried to jump out of my arms into the water. No problem going underwater either, coming up smiles and raspberries.

I noticed that another 17-month-old toddler there howled wildly when her father attempted to get her to put her head near the water. Though I still firmly believe that kids who haven't had early swim lessons can quickly catch up, there is still a lot to be said for teaching babies. Katrina is a swim-lesson-cryer, unfortunately, but it's entirely related to being held by other adults. She is very, very comfortable in the water and really, really enjoys it.

I attempted a photo-op with all three, but to my surprise, the uncooperative one this time was Julian! And both boys grabbed Katrina so quickly and closely that they'd knock her off balance. So this was the best I could do.

It was a lot of fun going to a party with other grownups -- and this year, lots of other kids -- but I was quickly reminded about the Stage we're in: crawling. It is SO cute, but SO inconvenient in these situations! Katrina really couldn't hang around outside; there were too many people, she could easily get stepped on, and all sorts of little things on the ground that just weren't good for her to have her hands in. I hung around inside the house with her, but even that was very limiting. A crawler is no longer content to sit placidly on a blanket or in a stroller, but there are a lot of places they can't just crawl around.

At the big pool this morning, as Dave was getting the boys dressed after their lesson, I brought Katrina in the stroller into the women's room with me while I got dressed (I snuck in a short swim during the boys' lessons). The floor was wet and full of hair and icky stuff, so there was no way I could let her crawl there either. As I quickly combed my hair and packed up my things, another woman there smiled at Katrina, then recognized me: "Oh I remember you, you were the pregnant one last summer!" The women I got to know a little all knew me as the one who was pregnant and miserable and found swimming to be an essential remedy. It was kind of fun, really, reconnecting with those same ladies -- with the baby there. They didn't even know if I'd had a boy or girl.

Boy, was everyone tired tonight from all the water time today! Katrina zonked early, Julian didn't even make it through dinner, Gabriel was unusually cooperative and efficient getting to bed. My turn.

8/4/07

8/3/07 Addition

This morning, Gabriel declared, "Mom, you need to learn plusses."

Er...I do?

"Yes you know, plus. Like, 16 plus 16."

Oh. Yes. Of course. Plusses. Which I need to learn. Right now. In between cutting up a mango, cooking oatmeal, and emptying the dishwasher.

"That's called addition, Gabriel. When you "plus" two numbers together, it's called addition."

"It IS?" he answered, fascinated. "So, 16 plus 16 is 22 -- that's dishin?"

Actually, it's 32.

"OK, Mom. So. Now I'll teach you dishin. What is...1 plus 1?" 2, I answered.

"What is 2 plus 2?" 4.

"4 plus 4?" 8.

"8 plus 8?" 16.

"16 plus 16?" 32.

"32 plus 32?" 64.

"64 plus 64?" 128.

"128 plus 128?" 256. "Oh! That's a really big number!" he exclaimed.

"Actually, it's 2 to the 8th, and now we're counting in powers of 2." (Chuckle from the dining room, where Dave was having breakfast.)

"Oh," he said, unimpressed. Julian made a face and the moment, mercifully, was over.

Good thing Gabriel, the future "silver engineer" (the kind that builds roads and bridges), was on the job today to rescue me from my arithmetical ignorance. Look out kindergarten, here he comes!

8/3/07

8/2/07 The footstools

Every night, the boys argue over who gets which footstool to stand on to brush their teeth. The two plastic footstools are completely identical, bought at the same time, in the same place, are the same exact color, weight, shape, without any identifying marks (like sticker residue or scratches) to tell them apart.

So you know what they fight over?

Who gets the dry footstool.

See, climbing out of the bathtub, Julian still needs a footstool to step down onto. Dave sits on one footstool, and Julian's wet feet touch the other, thus creating a temporary distinction. And a few drops of water is enough to ignite a major row over the dry footstool every night.

I'd be tempted to quickly dry off the wet footstool before the argument erupted. But why? They'll simply find something else different about the footstools to argue about. They're that dedicated.

8/2/07

8/1/07 Katrina's 9-month appt

Er...9-month? But isn't Katrina almost 10 months old? Yeah, well....lame Mom didn't actually make the appointment until after she was 9 months old. Behind as usual. The dog ate my homework and all that.

Baby's stats:

Weight: 16 lbs 8 oz (5th %ile)
Length: 27.75" (50th %ile)

Awesome job on the weight though -- that's over 2 pounds in two months! No more weight checks. She's still barely hanging on to being on the chart, but since she's in bounding good health, there's no concern.

Indeed, the conversation with the pediatrician was downright boring. There's just nothing to report. All developmental milestones are on the mark, she eats great, sleeps well, poops fine, has no unusual behaviors, and is basically a happy, joyful, completely healthy, if skinny, baby. She hasn't even really been sick, other than a sniffle or two way back when. The 3-week hive episode in May is the only thing of note, and like all pediatricians, this one shrugged it off too.

Katrina is delighted with her new crawling skill, and has been exploring every facet and every contour around her. What used to be an inaccessible blob is now a stack of magazines to pull down, a cabinet door to open, a wire to pull. She's also really really really trying to pull herself to a stand, but doesn't quite know how yet. (My plea to Mother Nature: Oh please please please give me an on-time walker this time around! I've earned it!)

Gabriel had a field trip to Boomers today, a park in Livermore (a good 45 minutes away, in the East Bay). He must have had fun, because he actually talked about it, telling me about the bumper boats and the mini golf.

And he was very ... er, energetic tonight when he got home, completely hyping up Julian too. It's really becoming a problem, how noisy and obnoxious the boys are during dinner, making it impossible for Dave and I to exchange even a few words. Kicking them out of the dining room does nothing; they scream and complain and then don't eat and then run around like mad, disturbing us even more and not learning a thing out of it. Supernanny, what are we to do?!

Thank goodness for bedtime. And for beautiful healthy babies.

8/1/07

7/31/07 The $240 Dip

No kids today! Tonya's vacation is over! Yayyyy!

Since it's been getting dark earlier and earlier in the evening, I went running this morning right after dropping Gabriel off after his swim class.

Urgh, I am so not a morning runner. I wheezed my way up the hills, then counted my various ills down the hills (knee, stitches, feeling tired). But afterward, I only remembered it as being very pleasant, mostly because I just love being outdoors, on trails and surrounded by trees, seeing different terrain, hills, canyons, open scrubby areas, scurrying lizards, rewarding views.

After a tough hot run, I really wanted to stretch -- in water. We belong to a community pool in our neighborhood, which costs us $60 a quarter. $240 a year! We've stuck with it over the years to support the neighborhood, but that sure is expensive sentiment. Especially since we hardly ever use the pool.

But I used our community pool today, for the first time this year. For about 15 minutes, I jumped and splashed and flipped and just played in the water, stretching gently with every movement. Boy, did that feel good! Even if it did cost $240.

But I didn't get all this childcare this summer just to indulge myself. My real purpose is to pursue our long-overdue downstairs remodel. And a big step was made there today. Dave came home for lunch, and we met with our new architect to sign a contract and go over the basics of the project. In a few weeks, she'll have a few designs for us to mull over.

I can't believe how different this is already shaping up to be than our upstairs remodel. I'm not wheel-spinning or fretting so much about how to pull all the pieces together, since this time, we have completely competent help and guidance. I'm delighted to let go of my inner control freak, and focus my energy instead on collecting What I Want, and let someone who knows what they're doing Put It All Together.

I went right to Borders after our productive meeting, to gather kitchen & bath magazines. I can't wait to spend some quality time with them and a stack of sticky notes.

Kids. Oh yes, children! That is what my life is about, isn't it? Not running, swimming and remodeling.

Picking up The Three after a nice day of being a grownup is always a bit of a shock, but it takes only an instant to kick back into Mom/Cook/Cleaner/Organizer/Traffic Controller/Servant mode. Nothing like trying to make dinner, feed baby, and keep happily reunited brothers from spinning themselves into a frenzy all at the same time.

Gabriel was fascinated when I told him about the lady who's going to draw us a new house, he wants to know alllll about how it's going to be built. Julian says he doesn't want to go to Tonya's, he wants to go back to daycamp, poor guy. (I think I will sign him up for one more daycamp week before summer's over, but there's no getting around it: Tonya's is where his preschool is, so there he's going.) Katrina...boy, is she a noisy baby! She's getting more and more opinionated, like about holding something, or being somewhere, about trying to do something and not being able to. The toddler years are just around the corner!

And me...always happy to have time off, always a little guilty about how much I enjoy it, and always relieved and glad to have them all with me again.

7/31/07

Today's run, according to Rancho Runner:

7) Parking -> Lower Meadow (SW) -> Farm -> Rogue Valley ->
Wildcat Loop Trail (SW) -> Upper High Meadow (E) ->
Upper Wildcat Canyon (SW -> E) -> Wildcat Loop Trail (NE) ->
Coyote -> Equestrian Parking -> Parking



Results for route: 1EF3MNPR6STUWV21
Route Miles Up  Down
  1E  0.30   15    0
  EF  0.54   40    0
  F3  0.17   30    0
  3M  0.31   25    0
  MN  0.04   10    0
  NP  0.96  460    0
  PR  0.18  135    0
  R6  0.32   60    0
  6S  1.37    0  450
  ST  0.12    0   20
  TU  0.53    0  180
  UW  0.25   50    0
  WV  0.67  120    0
  V2  0.51    0  195
  21  0.29   30    0

Total Distance = 6.56 Miles, 975 feet of climbing

7/30/07 Creepy crawly

I wish "Boris the Spider" by The Who would quit ringing in my head. It's sort of a dark-sounding song. I don't like it very much.

But the chorus sung in falsetto "creepy-crawly-creepy-crawly-creepycreepycrawlycrawly..." just begs to be heard when I watch tiny little Katrina making her way stealthily across a room...

...and straight to the stairs!

Oh No. Gabriel was absolutely impossible with stairs as a crawler. I used to carry a gate in my car for going to houses with ungated stairs, so that I wasn't constantly carrying him back down, protesting more and more each time. It got really hard after a while. Katrina's instant attraction to stairs makes me nervous about a repeat. Oh No!

She's still pretty slow, but she's having no end of fun with this crawling thing. A whole new world has opened up! And, just like Gabriel (a phrase I find myself using frighteningly frequently), she likes to crawl away, up, over, and into things.

Like to the stairs.

Then to the sliding door to the patio.

Then to the big bag of powdery, toxic grout the tilers left on the floor today.

Then into Julian's Special Bin of just his things that no one's allowed to touch.

Then into Gabriel's Special Bin of just his things that no one's allowed to touch.

Then to the thumb-pulls for the basement trapdoor, with the half-sphere recess filled with dirt, dust and crumbs.

Then to any garbage can.

Then to the prized new coloring book one or other brother left on the floor, perfect for shredding and tearing the careful artwork.

Then to a Lego assembly, perfect for shaking and pulling off tiny little bits (mmm, tasty).

And to anything other than a basket of nice, safe, soft baby toys.

"Creepy crawly creepy crawly...."

7/30/07

7/29/07 A nice party

Sunday! I get to sleep late day!

Well, until 9am, since we had a party to go to at 11am. But I overslept -- yes, overslept -- to 9:40am. Ahhh. How often does a mom of three young children get to say that?! By the time I got downstairs, everyone, even my famously food-incompetent husband, had had breakfast, and Katrina was already down for her morning nap.

I trucked everyone to a nearby park for a nice, small, low-key birthday party for Andrew, one of the usual suspects in the White family. That was really nice, hanging out quietly (where "quietly" is a relative term), chatting with other moms & dads. Everyone there had peers of their generation to play with, even Katrina and Dylan. Note to self: small is better when it comes to birthday parties!

(I didn't get a photo of Julian and Andrew playing, but there was some chase game going on between the two at some point...at least, Julian thought so. Andrew, I'm not so sure was enjoying it!)

As we were leaving the park, before we'd even gotten into the car, Julian called out, "I had fun, Mommy!" That warms my heart. I hope Andrew agreed.

Dave was at work when we got home, but the afternoon went swimmingly, thanks to Katrina taking a nap this time. Whew!

And, since Dave was at work, I started the kids' dinner at about 4:30pm. Everyone was sitting down to dinner by 5pm. That works so, so well -- why can't I pull that off every day?

The boys were promised an extra TV show if they cleaned up the family room before dinner, and Gabriel even got a gold star for being extra-special good and helpful cleaning up. I put the gold star on his hand, but Gabriel insisted on drawing himself a chart to put the gold star on.

Note that I said "kids' dinner." Katrina had mac'n'cheese with the other two, thought I mixed in some chicken with hers (the boys got peas too), then topped her off with yogurt and fruit. She loves the mac'n'cheese so much that I eventually just get tired of feeding it to her and need a change!

Recalling that our lives are made far easier when the boys are separated, I was able to avert a major Julian resistance tonight by offering to give him a bath downstairs "just you and me." When there's no Dad or Brother to impress, he's far more cooperative. I spiked his hair up after his bath, and he had fun laughing and mashing the spike back down. All he had to do was wait 5 minutes for his hair to dry, as then it's stick-straight again.

Speaking of straight hair, Katrina's early signs of curl are completely gone. Looks like she's going to get every girl's worst nightmare: straight, fine, limp, bodyless hair. A lifetime of perms, mousse, wild cuts, expensive products, damaging appliances, according to numerous straight-fine-haired friends I've had over the years. That's OK for Julian, but it's unfair: Gabriel got The Hair.

Katrina has suddenly made a drastic improvement in her crawling, even from this morning. Tonight she was easily travelling from one end of the room to another, yakking and "ahhhh-ahhhh!"-ing the whole way. She's also entered that door-fascination phase, and is due to close herself into a room at any moment.

I'm delighted that she's mobile, but nervous about how this will affect her relationship with her brothers. When Gabriel finds something of his disturbed, he demands, WHY DID YOU DO THAT, JULIAN?! He immediately softens when I suggest that Katrina might have done it...but for how much longer?

But overall, crawling is a win. And while I could do without 8-1/2 months of it this time around, it is unbearably cute. Looks like my brief respite back into the days of sitting peacefully on a blanket in the park with my baby are numbered.

7/29/07

7/28/07 Katrina crawls for real

Finally! Katrina is actually taking real crawl steps now. Verrry slowly, but she's certainly mobile. Especially when her targets are brothers' toys. So much for that track!

She's still not very fast or efficient, but now it's become commonplace to turn my head and find her somewhere else.


I went running at Rancho San Antonio today, in the morning (gasp!) and with friends (Sonia and Lynne). That was great -- except for finding parking. At 7:45am, all parking lots were completely full. That place is popular! Still, there are so many trails that we hardly saw anyone once we were out on the trails. We did a 7.5 mile route and yakked the whole way. I sure hope my knees hold out, 'cause there is so much I like about this running thing.

Katrina's been sleeping late, and slept until 8am today. But, that sets her up for a later morning nap, and really messes up the afternoon nap, which she never took today. Argh!

And, she has a new skill: pushing up into a sit from her tummy. So, her afternoon nap was further foiled by her sitting up in the crub and crying her eyes out. Lying down, eventually she would calm down and fall asleep. But just like Gabriel when he was 7 months old, and got himself standing and wouldn't lie down, she's not going to fall asleep sitting up. Sigh, I do so love my baby, but I do so love my baby's afternoon nap too, so I'm not on full-on baby duty for 6 consecutive hours. It's really stressful after a while, especially as baby gets more and more tired and needy.

At least Dave had the boys occupied with yardwork, and Julian took a nap. It's intensely stressful when poor baby is being flocked by boisterous brothers.

Still, I caught Gabriel pretend-headbutting Katrina, by dropping his head toward her quickly and then pulling it away -- only he was wearing his bicycle helmet, which has a protruding visor with a sharp edge! That would have really hurt if it hit her in the face. The visor was millimeters away from hitting her face, as he can't judge how far it sticks out. Stupid kid -- even a seeing-eye dog knows enough not to walk its blind owner toward an overhang that the human's head would hit. And she was sitting in the high chair at the time, a sitting duck! He was sent to his room for a long time for that one.

I managed to indulge in some baking this afternoon anyway, despite baby interruption and little-boy menaces. Pastry therapy, I guess.

7/28/07

7/27/07 Closed street

Today the city closed our street to all traffic, to repave a street that I thought was just fine already. This morning, that meant walking all three kids to the car parked around the corner, to take Julian to his last day of day camp. Fortunately, I had some help from our next-door neighbor with ultra-putzy Julian. Mo Jing swept right in, took Julian's hand, and with his usual excellent cheer and constant laughter, brought him along. I always appreciate the help!


Once we were at the Y, I figured I might as well stay and get in a short stretch and workout, since Katrina wouldn't need a nap for over an hour. But then I realized, there was an aerobics class -- yes, an old-fashioned high-impact, no-equipment aerobics class -- starting. Cool, I haven't done one of those in ages! I figured it'd be easy, given all the running I've been doing, but I was in for a surprise. Aerobics and dance, I quickly remembered, are much burstier sorts of activities. I can jog to the Farm at Rancho San Antonio now without really getting out of breath, but that's a very even sort of exertion. Jumping, turning, kicking....I was surprised how out of condition I am for that sort of movement. Another reminder that no matter how deep I step into the world of athletics, in my heart, if not my body, I'm still a dancer-type.

Katrina had a fine time at the Y Childwatch. I snuck this photo in of her playing on a pillow before she saw me, at which point she started to cry immediately. I wasn't buying that though! The lady playing with Katrina paid her a now-common compliment on the beautiful reddish shade of her hair.

When we got back from the second trip to the Y to pick up Julian, the paving construction on our street was still in progress. A worker told us they were taking a break, then at 2:00, the roller would be out, then after that, the sander truck. Gabriel watched the clock carefully inside, and then was outside at 2:00 on the dot, and Julian joined him, to supervise from the porch.

Well, it turned out that the roller had started before 2:00, and the sander was now halfway done. When the sanding truck was finished, the workers started putting away the cones, and then the same worker we'd talked to was walking along the street, reviewing the results.

Gabriel went up to the worker and informed him that the roller was supposed to start at 2:00! Then Gabriel pointed out that the sand truck had missed a strip in front of our house: "There's still some black here." Incredibly, the worker said, "yeah, they didn't do that quite right," and a few minutes later, someone was there with a shovel, tossing sand onto the black strip. Gabriel appeared satisfied with this, and the worker seemed to accept with good cheer that he was being overseen by a 5-year-old.

I guess the City of Sunnyvale had better make sure they are ON TIME and do the job EXACTLY RIGHT, 'cause Gabriel's on the job!

7/27/07

7/26/07 Julian and Katrina

As much as I adore my firstborn, I have to say, it sure it a lot easier when he's away all day. Not so much because of him, but the effect he has on Julian. Well, the effect they have on each other. Which is instant trouble.

I had the morning alone with Katrina, part of which was unfortunately wasted on another headache doctor appointment (I don't like them and I'm not going back). Then in the afternoon while Katrina was awake, Julian and Katrina played together. She's definitely mobile now, though I'm not quite sure I'd call what she does "crawling," and Julian gets a kick out of watching her and encouraging her.

At day camp, the counselors told me that Julian talks about Katrina all the time. But they were surprised to hear that he has an older brother, who is never mentioned!

I went for a long run at Rancho San Antonio tonight, then joined my Mom friends for 3 C's: Coffee, Cheesecake, and Chatting. Normalcy renewed.

7/26/07

7/25/07 The Family Dinner gone awry

I don't get it. Who are these kids who are brought closer to their families, perform better in school, get into less trouble, succeed in life, because of family dinners together? More to the point, who are the parents who didn't run from the dining room screaming?

Not ours. And not us.

"What is it again they're supposed to get out of this?" Dave asked me dejectedly this evening, during a momentary break in the din of bathroom-talk chanting, banging silverware on glasses, showing of chewed food, bursts of shrieking laughter, hooting sounds. Dave and I exchanging more than a few hastily shouted words, let alone any meaningful information, is completely out of the question. Bonding, enjoying, sharing....? How? Where? Who?

And this is when the boys are being good! Where "good" is defined as "just barely within clear limits we've stated." After all, we're not telling them not to talk at all. Repeating themselves isn't against the rules. Laughing is OK, and handling utensils is fine. Saying "I'm pooped" or "peel the fruit" is OK. But any of those things taken to an extreme turns into obnoxious chanting, banging, shouting and bathroom talk. They constantly look for the zone in which it's just on the edge of being allowed.

It's sad that the supposed glue of family dinner together should unravel an otherwise very pleasant day today.

Julian once again had a fabulous time at daycamp. He gave all the counselors a hug goodbye, and cheerfully said hello or asked questions of anyone we passed. It's starting to make me feel guilty: he needs a larger social outlet than Tonya's.

Today at daycamp, Julian made smoothies, and he told me all about it on the drive home. So, having some bananas and strawberries that were a smidge too ripe for eating directly, we made some smoothies together at home.

I really like making things in the kitchen with the boys, though I haven't done it with Julian alone very much. Julian loved it, talking on and on about how much help he was being, that he was doing his job. Of course, he loved the smoothie he made!

This was made possible by Katrina's rapidly expanding finger-food repertoire. Today she ate the better part of her lunch herself: half a soynut-butter sandwich, bit by bit. She also loves pieces of bagel (with and without cream cheese) and corn cakes, and now, Puffins. She's also getting good at handling a sippy-cup and drinking water from it, which she LOVES.

Today we talked to Grandpa Jim on the phone, and when Katrina got grumpy, I put Grandpa Jim on speaker. He whistled her an Irish tune, and she perked up happily right away!

I'm glad I caught this special moment on crummy-camera video. Grandpa Jim has only met Katrina once, when she was 3 months old, but he fell instantly, and permanently, in love with her.


Ah, seeing that melts away the sting from dinner. It really was a nice day.

7/25/07

7/24/07 The daycamper

I picked up Julian from daycamp at the very last minute today, and found him happily waiting with one counselor and two friends.

I forget, do people worry about 3-year-olds making friends? Gabriel never seemed to care, and Julian does it so easily.

He is absolutely loving this pee-wee daycamp thing. He's in a great mood when I get him, happily chats everyone up as he says goodbye ("My Thomas backpack has train tracks on it!"), talks about things he did, asks if he's going back tomorrow. I should have done more weeklong daycamps for him this summer!

Unfortunately for him, I really need my two full-free-days off from children (which I don't have this week since Tonya's on vacation, hence the half-day daycamp). As adorable was Katrina was today, she's still just a 9-month-old baby who needs a fair amount of attention. And more attention these days than before, as she's always getting herself stuck with her half-baked non-crawling.

I need that child-free time because I've made a huge decision, one that will kick off the most monstrous construction project of my life (let's hope). After meeting with another new architect today, and receiving a proposal from the fabulous architect I met with last week, it's a no-brainer. The fabulous one gets it. After Dave and I both actually read her proposal (no quick scanning!), I'll sign it and write the first of many, many checks for this project. EE-Yayyy!

And not a moment too soon. I'm getting very cranky about having to get on my hands and knees with a flashlight to pry out a muffin tin from the tiny little hole that serves as my baking pan storage.

7/24/07

7/23/07 Gabriel reads a book

Tonya is closed this week, so Julian is doing a half-day one-week day camp at the Y. He was looking forward to it, and was just fine when I dropped him off, and chatting happily with a new friend at lunch when I picked him up. He had a great time, and now Gabriel wants to go to day camp too!

What a relief to drop Julian off and get the boys separated.

Last weekend, Dave and I bought two kid-books with the intent of them being Gabriel-readable. After some debate, we got him two "Level 2" books, which are roughly guidelined to be "I can read with help." Within that, they vary widely; and the "Small Pig" story is far more substantial than the goofy Thomas-the-Tank-Engine stories (which I'm starting to get very tired of!).

This morning, Gabriel read both books without stopping, carefully studying each page, reading each word aloud slowly and clearly. Not only did he read almost all the words, but he understood the stories too. Best of all, he really liked sitting down and reading a new story himself. It's time to get this kid a library card!

Later in the day, after we picked up Julian, Gabriel read both books again to Julian. Julian really needed to finish his lunch before nap, but I didn't have the heart to insist when they were both so absorbed in the new stories.

Meantime, Katrina practiced her non-crawling mobility skills. Though she'll take one barely-credible crawl step, she hasn't really made all fours a way of getting from one place to another. She ends up sliding to her tummy and then rolling around on her back. What happened to infant girls hitting physical milestones sooner?!

Calm Mom took a brief hiatus today, as I lost my temper with the boys three times today. Now that I do that a lot less, the triggers are clearer. And almost all of the trouble centers around the boys' nonstop, if loving, harassment of their baby sister.

For every time I sit Katrina down in the family room, I have to tell the boys numerous times to stop: stop putting things in her face, stop taking toys away, stop giving her toys with tiny pieces, stop cupping their hands and shouting in her ear, stop grabbing her hands, stop stepping on her feet, stop running cars over her head, stop jumping over her, stop running in circles around her, stop pushing her, stop this, stop that, STOP EVERYTHING AND JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!!!

The "numerous times" part is a problem. Should I shorten the escalation cycle each time? It starts with warning, kick him (usually Julian) off the rug, then to the living room, then to his room; each time with a warning first and then the consequence. Again and again and again. I don't want to send him straight to his room for grabbing her feet, but by the 10th time in the day, I have no patience left for warning/consequence-1/warning/consequence-2/warning/consequence-3 etc.

Oh boy, will I be happy when Katrina can stick up for herself a little more. She'll never be a match for her rambunctious older brothers, but she won't always be quite as helpless as she is now.

Betsy says her kids mostly ignore their baby brother...break my heart! I can't imagine!! Protecting helpless baby from her overzealous brothers is a nonstop source of anxiety for me.

Yesterday (Sunday) morning, instead of sleeping late and then making a big bang-up breakfast for the family (which I love to do), I got up uber-early and ran in the Wharf-to-Wharf 10K instead. And today, no trace of a Monday Migraine. None!! Do you know how rare it is not to even feel a headache brewing?! That's huge! What the heck is going on Sunday mornings?!

7/23/07

7/22/07 Wharf-to-Wharf

Today I ran in the HUGE Wharf-to-Wharf 10K race, from Santa Cruz to Capitola!

Well, sort of ran. It is a very popular race, and was very very crowded. I was there with Sonia, her husband Tom, her two boys in the jogging stroller, and another of Sonia's running pals, a statuesque Englishwoman named Lynne. We all stuck together for the first 2/3 of the race, but since it was SO crowded, it was impossible to get the jogging stroller through the throngs of walkers and trotters that made up most of the crowd around us. The runners were long gone. Usually it's courtesy for strollers to go last, but if you have actual runners pushing it, they're not going to do much running. Tom and Sonia traded off pushing the stroller, but anytime there was any sort of uphill, the whole crowd slowed and we'd have no way to get through and would be back to walking.

After a time, my hips started to ache from all the walking/trotting, so I told Sonia I was going to pick up the pace and meet them at the finish (we'd arranged a meeting place). Lynne did too, so we ran together.

Together?! I was in for the ride of my life!! Holy Cow!!

Lynne is a serious athlete, and her normal pace is very, very fast. I was at a sprinting pace right away trying to keep up with her, while she appeared to be relaxed and hardly out of breath.

We immediately started threading our way through the crowd, dodging walkers, scooting through gaps, weaving back and forth looking for ways through, passing tens of people with each few strides. Often, a window would close just after she made it through, so I'd have to put in an extra blast to catch her again. In the short unobstructed stretches, I was pumping hard just to stay with her.

By the last mile, I was about spent, but still determined to keep up her pace, despite her kind offers to slow down. But eventually it was too much, so I called to her and ask how much longer...just half a mile. I put my head down and coached myselt to stick it out. I've been through worse! Think sand traps. Think steep, dusty, rocky uphills on a heavy motorcycle. Panting hard, stitches up and down my entire body, completely wrung out, I flew (well, to me) across the finish line. Lynne was still barely trotting.

What a fun event! The cities close the streets, and onlookers line the course, spraying water on the runners, and many people set up bands or other entertainment along the course. I've never seen a bagpipe band before! The event ended in Capitola, a charming little town with a very nice beach. We also had fabulous weather, which in Santa Cruz in July means, it wasn't foggy or cold. And, of course, spending time with friends and making new ones. I like the running crowd.

My only complaint is that the actual running was hard because it was so crowded, and the fun venue attracts...well, non-runners. Which, I still insist I am, but I still like to actually run. Or gasp for breath behind real runners.

But I nitpick...it was a wonderful morning in a beautiful place with great people, and in the end, more running than I could have imagined.

Meantime, Dave did so well with all three kids alone this morning that he actually took them all to Bobbi's -- by himself!

Before you're too impressed with that, remember that for Dave, sitting down and being served food is much easier than making it at home. He got away with this partly because the boys were well-behaved, and also partly because Katrina is just full of joy, especially for any new situation that involves new people to beam at.

And, Katrina's food repertoire has expanded to the point that there are now only a few things I won't give her, rather than only a few things that I do. Breakfast food is especially easy: she had scrambled eggs, pancake and toast at Bobbi's.

(A note on the eggs: I know she's not supposed to have whites, or yolks, I always forget which, until 12 months old. But my nephew Aidan's experience with food allergies "enriches" my perspective. Case in point: eggs. Aidan was allergic to eggs. Avoiding the the white or the yolk wouldn't have made any difference. Meantime, pancakes and pasta are on the OK list, but Aidan reacted to them. So the advice to avoid part of an egg, when they're exposed to whole eggs in many other foods, seems silly to me. Perhaps it's a quantity thing. But if you're allergic to eggs, you're allergic to even a small amount; and if you're not, you're not. Katrina isn't. And she LOVES scrambled eggs.)

Oh yeah, one more thing about the 10K. They ran out of size Small T-shirts, so I got a Large, for Dave to wear. I wish they'd give out kids' sizes.

I'm going to sleep well tonight!

7/22/07

7/21/07 An afternoon out

Dave and I went to downtown Los Gatos this afternoon, shopped, had dinner at The California Cafe (outstanding!). Peggy had no trouble with all 3, as usual.

Very early start tomorrow morning for me -- I'm running in the Wharf-to-Wharf 10K race in Santa Cruz. It's supposed to be a great time!

7/21/07

7/20/07 Free Friday

I like having nothing scheduled to do on Fridays. Though, that can lead to...doing nothing.

It's not like there is any shortage of things to do. The Las Madres Cupertino 2004 group has a playdate. The Cupertino 2006 group has a playdates. My favorite long-time weights class is at noon, at my old gym. And there are frequently special events or friends looking for playdates.

But with a twice-a-day napping baby, I like never having to rush the beginning of a nap, or prematurely ending one. I like being able to follow impulses, stretch out a good moment, not be stuck with weird slices of time too short to start something new, but too long not to do anything.

So today, all we did was go to the Y and Whole Foods between baby's two naps. Grocery-shopping with the boys wasn't much fun; they were constantly pushing the limits and being rambunctious and obnoxious. One woman looked at me sympathetically as the boys were throwing themselves on the floor shouting "BUTT BUTT PEE PEE!!" and said, "at least you got your girl!" For once, I agreed. It was hard not to be grateful for Katrina, sitting so peacefully and sweetly and adorably in the cart, while the boys spun in circles.

So after naps (everyone's nap -- all three at once, whee-haw!) we took some photos outside. It's been a while since I got a shot of all three, though it was hard to get Julian to cooperate.




The boys spent some time picking flowers..."for you Mom!"

Happily, two mornings in a row of 7am baby wakeup. Yay!

7/19/07 Training

Whew. Navigational error led to a much longer run than I'd meant tonight. But Upper Wildcat Canyon was absolutely lovely. All told, over 7 miles. Guess I'm ready for a 10K this Sunday.

8) Parking -> Lower Meadow (SW) -> Farm -> Rogue Valley ->
Upper Rogue Valley (w) -> Upper Rogue Valley (E) ->
Upper High Meadow (W) -> Upper Wildcat Canyon (SW -> E) ->
Wildcat Loop Trail (NE) -> Coyote -> Equestrian Parking -> Parking

Results for route: 1EF3MLKR6STUWV21
Route Miles Up  Down
  1E  0.30   15    0
  EF  0.54   40    0
  F3  0.17   30    0
  3M  0.31   25    0
  ML  0.69  125    0
  LK  0.51   75    0
  KR  1.00  400    0
  R6  0.32   60    0
  6S  1.37    0  450
  ST  0.12    0   20
  TU  0.53    0  180
  UW  0.25   50    0
  WV  0.67  120    0
  V2  0.51    0  195
  21  0.29   30    0

Total Distance = 7.58 Miles, 970 feet of climbing

Met with another architect today. Nice guy, positive, open. I'm glad to have the problem of two good choices. But unless there are any horrible surprises in the architects' proposals, I'm pretty sure I know who we'll use.

Also saw the "headache clinic" psychologist today, to talk about lifestyle triggers for migraines. I didn't like him at all. He was looking for low-hanging fruit, and sounded almost like he was reading from a script. Lots of canned, even silly advice, and glossing over the big things (like the newly emerged pattern of Monday Migraines). Some focus on the obvious that I don't get enough sleep now, though no explanation for the first 25 years of migraines. He so wanted to me to say that the little daily things in life stress me out and cause migraines, but overall, I rated my life as pretty low-stress. Sure is easy to see it that way when all kids are in daycare! But really, a putzy 3-year-old isn't true stress. Cancer, bankruptcy, divorce -- that's stress.

I fended off a migraine last Monday with an Imitrex, and have been headache-free all week! What a difference!!!

But now, after tonight's run, the rest of me is pretty achy. In a good way. Ah.

7/19/07

7/18/07 "Katrina can crawl!"

"Katrina can crawl!"

So announced a very proud older brother (Julian) to all the workers at Gabriel's daycare/daycamp today.

Well, sort of crawl. It's the very bare minimum you'd call crawling, but I think she's met my criteria of moving all four limbs, before sliding to her tummy and reaching out for whatever it is she's aiming for.

Like this:


Dresses on babies don't make a lot of sense, especially on crawlers. And overly pink ones with gag-me-now cutesy sayings are so not my thing. But, I put this on Katrina today to take a photo for a thank-you note, and I have to admit, it's cute on her.


But it's also going to have to get put away, as she was kneeling/stepping on it.


Tonight Gabriel was faced with a new force: Calm Mom.

He got in trouble at dinner for scratching his fork along the table, and was escorted out of the dining room and told to sit at the kitchen counter. You know, the "natural consequence" that Positive Parenting assumes ends an encounter.

Of course, with Gabriel, it only starts there.

He got up without asking to be excused, then deflected an instruction to go sit back down by doing it so slowly that he essentially wasn't doing it. He got a warning, failed that, then ran down a countdown (defiantly declaring, "countdowns don't work on me!"). So then, The Consequence was implemented: his trains got put away.

You should have heard the hollering -- I'm sure our neighbors did. But this time, the only hollering came from him as he begged and cried for his trains: "I'M SITTING! I'M SITTING!! I'M BEING GOOD!!! NOOOO! STOP!!! STOOOOPPPP!!!!" He seemed downright rattled watching his two parents silently -- yes silently packing up his favorite toy and putting it into the garage. But as he did his utmost to get a reaction, nothing.

Naturally in Gabriel-land, things are far from over. (Take that, Positive Parenting.)

Within minutes, he had gone to the garage to rescue his trains. He was busted and escorted to his room immediately -- but he went, and with little physical force required on my part. He screamed and hurled insults, but he was actually more compliant than usual, and all I had to do was hold his hand up the stairs, instead of prying him off the banisters.

With each escalation, I'm thinking, "Oh, YEAH! Game's UP, kid!! This sh*t is working!! Cool!"

Once in his room, newly-empowered-Mom kneeled and talked to him for a few minutes. I recognized his rage and frustration, and listened to him declare indignantly how unfair it was. Following Positive Parenting instructions, I said things like, "Seems really unfair, doesn't it? Kids have to do what grownups say. I know, that makes you mad. Well, here's the way to get your trains back. Tomorrow, you...(etc)." I didn't back down, didn't draw it out, just let him express himself, reminded him what he'd done wrong, and told him I was sure he'd do it right the next time. He needed the attention and acknowledgement.

But, not done yet.

He demanded a time until he had to stay in his room, as usual trying to open the door for another fight ("No Mom, 15 minutes is TOO LONG, I'm only staying for TEN"), but I didn't react or tell him, "You stay here or ELSE..." More insults, threats and claims of disobedience as I walked downstairs. But he stayed.

We both knew: I'd won.

Hah! Yay!

Julian met up with Calm Mom yesterday too, but he crumpled almost immediately. Oh my, did he cry and hug me hard when I got him out of time-out. His attempts to imitate Gabriel's resistance are downright comical. Annoying, to be sure, but he just wasn't born with the backbone for the full-on knock-down drag-outs that his older brother can dish out. But maybe it's thanks to older brother that I'm finding new backbone too.

I've tried all this before. What's different now? I'm not sure. Nine days of migraine then getting scary sick made me stop and think a lot, about many things.

I think I'm more motivated because I know they won't respect me if I lose my temper, and that there will come a time -- not too far off -- that they will be more physically powerful than me, and I need to establish that respect now. Some nice boosts and tips from Betsy have helped, as have watching how my sister calmly deflects most indiscretions. And, of course, SuperNanny's sound bite: stay calm, you'll have more control.

Maybe it's also that I've reconciled that Positive Parenting techniques aren't necessarily mutually exclusive of more traditional methods, even if Positive Parenting thinks so. Its stance against spanking seems to assume that parents spank as a matter of course, as a first response, and that merely distracting a toddler is a comparable course of action. But few parents want to spank, and only do so when they feel there's no alternative. Positive Parenting rules it out entirely, offering alternatives that are sound, but only useful at a much lower escalation level.

So I'm not taking a whack on the bottom out of the escalation chain -- I'm just adding links to that chain before it gets to that. Knowing that the "tool," if you will, of a smart smack is still ultimately available, turns positive parenting into the first (and 2nd and 3rd and nth) line of defense, rather than the only one. That takes the pressure off. And so Calm Mom has been born.

Can I keep this up? It's only been a few days -- headache-free ones, in fact. The real test is when the inevitable migraine returns. Or I might have just hit a patch when the stars are aligned properly and the boys are just being agreeable.

Certainly Julian took his sweet pill this morning, giving everyone (even a mock-reluctant Gabriel) a hug and kiss before parting ways this morning. When Julian wants to be amiable and adorable, there's no stopping him. I just love that boy.

And speaking of no stopping, those boys are gonna learn fast to put stuff away, because here comes baby!

7/18/07

7/17/07 The Architect

Today I had a meeting with an architect who could be someone I'd meet at a Las Madres event. She has two small kids and parents right in my neighborhood who watch them, and works partly from home, and mostly on her own hours.

But aside from relating to potty-training issues, I was blown away by her competence, her professionalism, her practicality, her attention to detail, her knowledge, the questions she asked, the ideas she offered, the positive attitude, her organized and clear approach to the whole process. Now this is more like it! No resistance, no offering red-herring ideas, no know-it-all attitude. Finally, a break. I'm looking forward to this project all of a sudden!

I'm meeting with another architect this coming Thursday, and if he's better, it'll be a miracle. Exactly what this house needs. But I think this house's miracle was found today.

Yesterday, Gabriel asked me, "Where does the universe end?"

I don't know about the universe, but I can answer that the world ends when your baby consistently wakes up around 6am. Which Katrina did again today. Without the crows. Ouch.

Looks like I'm training for a 10K after all, this coming Sunday. When will I ever "train" more than a week ahead of time?! Tonight I squeaked in a run at Rancho San Antonio, but these night squeaks are going to end soon. The sun setting earlier makes a serious difference. I like the hills, it's like interval training and doesn't let you get into too much of a lull. Yeah, no lulls needed around here, right?

Kids all in daycare today (otherwise productive 2.5-hour meeting with architect would never have happened!), boys surprisingly well-behaved tonight. And so was I.

7/17/07

p.s. Tonight's route:

6) Parking -> Lower Meadow (SW) -> Mora -> Ravensbury ->
Chamise (W) -> Rogue Valley (E) -> Farm -> Coyote ->
Equestrian Parking -> Parking

Results for route: 1EF8HJ7LM3UWV21
Route Miles Up  Down
  1E  0.30   15    0
  EF  0.54   40    0
  F8  0.60  255   30
  8H  0.37    0  110
  HJ  0.05   10    0
  J7  0.60  120    0
  7L  0.20    0   75
  LM  0.69    0  125
  M3  0.31    0   25
  3U  0.15   20    0
  UW  0.25   50    0
  WV  0.67  120    0
  V2  0.51    0  195
  21  0.29   30    0

Total Distance = 5.53 Miles, 660 feet of climbing

7/16/07 Marvelous Monday

I couldn't believe I heard myself tell Dave when he got home today, "We've been having a really good day." I brace myself for Mondays, when I have all 3 kids and so often, a migraine, but today was relaxed and full of fun.

I need to learn to write less. I have blog bog. It's really not necessary to run down the whole day, every day, is it? Seems it is, to me. So today I'm trying short sections. As always, I fail on the "short" part.

The Lunch Menu

Harvest Grain Chicken Salad...A savory blend of Israeli-style couscous, orzo, baby garbanzo beans, and red quinoa, simmered in chicken broth, with diced chicken bits sauteed in teriyaki.

Black forest Ham and Alpine Lace swiss cheese, with a smattering of organic mayonnaise, on seven-grain bread.

Would you believe, this was Katrina's lunch today?

The grains and chicken were dinner leftovers, and the ham-and-cheese sandwich was what Gabriel didn't finish from his lunch. After Katrina devoured the grains and chicken, I spooned off baby-bite-size slices from Gabriel's sandwich. She LOVED the ham and cheese sandwich!

I stopped making baby food for Julian when he was 11 months old. Looks like I'll be putting away my blender even sooner this time.

Scrapbooking as the Key to Better Parenting

I might have got it now. A confluence of events have greatly improved things around here: a few bad blowouts with Gabriel, getting so sick life stopped dead in its tracks, thinking more about the "positive parenting" techniques, and reciting stay calm, you'll have more control.

I've really been working at being more consistent, giving ONE warning, and without raising or sternifying my voice, to avoid default reactions. I know the big fight is always around the corner, but if the approach is different, maybe I can find a path around it.

And I think I see an improvement! Even the biggest bugaboo, washing hands before dinner, is going better. I stop what I'm doing, kneel down, pull the boys together, and then tell them very clearly with full attention, "It's now time to go pee and wash hands before dinner. Let's do this without screaming, without countdowns, without any putzing around, OK?" I do still have to remind them, but as long as I'm willing to accept some playing on the way to the bathroom, three nights in a row, they've both ended up doing this without much trouble.

Same thing with them bugging Katrina, another serious trigger for me, as mothers' hackles tend to rise when their baby is being swarmed. ONE warning, then they have to get off the rug, then to the living room, then to their room; and each time, I make it sound like I too am sad that they have to go, rather than talking sternly to them. I don't know yet if they respond better without me yelling, but I sure feel better.

Thinking about it, even though I might have "good" reasons why it's harder for me (short-tempered nature, chronic migraines, Gabriel), it doesn't matter to them. A grade of B with an excuse just isn't as good as an A, fair or not. The boyfriend who misses your birthday with a "good reason" just isn't the same as the one who got there. There really are no excuses. One way or another, their experience is what matters, regardless of my reasons behind it. A 3-year-old doesn't care about migraines. He cares about a strong, in-control mother.

So what does that have to do with scrapbooking?

For some time now, any baby-free time I've had, I've felt like I have to spend it working: dealing with the house remodel, my Dad's affairs, our own logistics. And, when I have had some time, a headache puts a serious damper on free-flowing ideas. But there's no getting around it, I need a creative outlet, the chance to concentrate, to produce, explore, create. Most of my life my creative urges have manifested themselves in textiles and writing, but now I have paper crafting too.

Last Friday, I was too sick to do much else, so I sat and did some scrapbooking. I can't believe how much better I feel for having done my monthly "photo album" page for May, rearranged a scattered and hastily assembled old photo album, and started a few decorative projects.

These are not indulgences. They're necessary for sanity and happiness -- and additional patience for little children. I'm not going to underestimate that again.

Planets by Gabriel

A few days ago, I pulled out some paints to paint a cheap picture frame (still hasn't happened of course). Gabriel saw this and got it in his head to paint, so I found some kid watercolors, set him up in our makeshift craft area (I love my two $2.99 vinyl tablecloths for this) and let him at it.

He was so proud of the result that he bugged me for two days to frame it. So today I had him write the title, his name and the date on the back, then I stuck it in one of those cheap acrylic box frames, with two sheets of colored paper behind it.

And I love it!

I've been lamenting the lack of artwork around here, and not only am I thrilled to have some homegrown decoration, but I genuinely like it. It's abstract and colorful, a painting of the sun and planets.

Gabriel said today that when he grows up, he's going to be an artist. Well, this is the first sign in that direction, and I'd be very proud. Surprised, to be sure, but very proud!

Crawl to stand

Katrina is still sooo close to her first crawl step. She gets on all fours, rocks, gets three out of four limbs moving, then slides to her tummy and reaches her arm out, scratching her fingers towards whatever it is she's trying to get to. Everything but a crawl.


Now, she's adding standing to that. I can stand her against something, and she'll hold up for a few seconds. And now, she's trying to pull herself up. Long ways off, but it's another little smidgeon of progress. Go baby go!


Swim class

Our only outing (yay) today was Julian and Katrina's swim class. It's official: I have a cryer. Katrina is fine in the water until teacher Gina comes over, at which point her face scrunches up and she bursts into her squeaky, high-pitched cry.

So today we tried me moving away completely while Gina worked with Katrina. Predictably, she calmed right down until she saw me again.

Then if I snuck around really fast, I could try to get a photo of Gina and Julian and Katrina before baby saw me and started to cry. Not easy. This was the best I could do.

Meantime, I got to take photos of Julian "diving" into the water. He had a great time today. He's much more confident now, so swim class is all fun for him now, even if he spends a lot of it spinning in the water, lost.

Watching Julian swim and remembering how Gabriel was at his age is a perfect snapshot of the differences in their personalities. Gabriel was so directed, he jumped in and purposefully made it to the other side. Julian is more random; he jumps in happily now, but sometimes makes it, other times plays around, other times just spins around and seems to forget what he was doing.


Gabriel insisted on another photo of all three of them with their monogrammed towels. The problem with the last photo, he said, was that he wasn't sitting next to Katrina. "That wasn't fair Mom." Julian insisted that their names show.

I see my concept of short sections has only served to lengthen this entry. I've got to do something about this. Then again, a calm and peaceful day deserves the extra inches.

7/16/07

7/15/07 The crows are the culprit

Seasonally, we get visits from huge flocks of crows who swarm nearby trees, squawk their heads off for about 5 minutes, then fly away. One such flock is doing this on the west side of our house every morning -- at daybreak. Just long enough to wake up Katrina. Then we're all up.

By the way, daybreak is just before 6am. I know this. Three mornings in a row I know this. Those darned birds!


I took the boys to the Cupertino Fountains today, planning to take Katrina tooo, but at the last minute, she needed nap#2 for the day. The boys really needed to get out, and I sensed that Dave really needed to get them out.

It was nice to have some time alone with them. I ran around with them for a while, including "racing" across a lawn. I'm mean. I don't let them win.

While there, I asked Gabriel to read a sign posted by the fountains, just to see if he could. And, other than reading "safety" as "safely," he read the whole thing, uncoached.

Drat, the audio sucks (windy), but the sign says...

...well, I'll tell you what the sign says, the same way I tried to tell Dave about it. I told Dave:

Me: "He totally read a sign that said, 'Please no pets or....darn, what did that sign say...oh yeah, for health and safely -- "
Dave: "Safely?"
Me: "Well, that's how he read 'safety'. Umm, oh yeah, 'Please no pets or..."
Gabriel: "No pets or other animals in the fountain area!"
Me (stunned): "!! Oh! Yes, that IS what the sign said!"
Gabriel: "No Mom, you forgot: 'For public health and safely [sic], please no pets or other animals in the fountain area.'"
Me (speechless): "...duhhhhh..."

I was going to say I was impressed that he could read it, but remember it?? Considering how much of day-to-day life 5-year-olds forget....! (like putting shoes away). And a little concerned that I couldn't remember it.

Katrina woke up from her afternoon nap too early again, so I decided to make the most of the afternoon and take her running. This time, I headed north to the bay, hoping to find a flat unpaved trail suitable for a jogging stroller. And I did -- there are loops off the S.F. Bay trail that go around some water treatment ponds in Sunnyvale. The idea was that it would be an easy re-introduction back to exercise after that downright scary 24 hours when I was so, so sick.

(I go quickly through some yoga poses before and after running, it's the best way to stretch without a bar or mat, I find.)

But there was one element I hadn't counted on: wind. Whew! Not the same kind of toughness as the steep hills at Rancho San Antonio, but definitely harder to get through pushing a jogging stroller with a huge canopy that acts as a sail.


Windy and sunny meant the canopy was down over Katrina for most of the run. I'd check her sometimes and find her hat down over her face, but most of the time, I'd peek under the canopy and be greeted by a beamy sunshiny smile. She loves to get outside.

Though overall I prefer the wooded -- and yes, hilly! -- trails at Rancho San Antonio, this was a nice contrast. It's also a wonderful area for seeing birdlife. Nice quiet birds.

7/15/07