10/24/07 Night play

Silly boys. I should have taken this before they'd worn themselves out; by now they were just hyper-wired-tired. I was inspired by a mom friend who'd taken something like this of her 3-year-old twins romping around together before bedtime, though she did a better job keeping her kids actually in the video.

I took them upstairs and got them to do some yoga breathing with eyes closed and whispered "Namaste"s to try to settle them down, which worked for .004 seconds.

Julian helped me make dinner tonight. I've found this is a great way of keeping the boys under control during my prime-time of trying to make dinner, feed Katrina, and keep her safe from her over-affectionate brothers. All it takes is engaging one of the boys, then I'm in good shape.

Cracking eggs is a big honor, and today Julian got to do it. I helped him, of course, but then he got to mix the eggs. Then he got to put things into a bowl and mix it up.

Gabriel had initially refused to help me with the eggs, then he was incensed when he discovered Julian would be replacing him. How lucky am I that my boys fight over who's going to help me make dinner!

In fact, as I mentioned, I've started a food blog, sort of a silly amateurish one, but it's fun do to a recap of something new I've tried. And especially when I see how much fun the boys have helping me, and how much fun I have involving them (well, except when Julian blows into a bowl of bread crumbs), it occurs to me that this is about more than just nourishment. Food is something all people have in common. It can bring the family together in so many ways, giving us something to do and explore together. If I succeed, we'll have warm family experiences together now, which will turn to warm family memories for the kids later. When they're grown up, I want them to look forward to coming home for a good home-cooked meal and Mom making their favorite just because they're visiting.

On the flip side, I've talked to adults who came from homes in which they grew up not liking the food, and that becomes a source of anxiety, instead of happy anticipation, in going home for a visit. I'm lucky, I'm not among those; I always look forward to visiting home and glomming as much as I can from my mother (who is an excellent cook). I hope my kids remember helping me cook and bake, and that they learn to do so as well, and that enjoying the food at home will be something they remember fondly as part of their childhood.

Now, where was I.

This morning, I went running at Fremont Older Space Preserve, in an attempt to keep the run shorter. That part didn't work exactly, because it was a positively glorious morning, and I was having no end of fun exploring new trails. But....they weren't so new. I was overwhelmed with deja-vu, then flat-out recognition. I used to ride these trails on horses! Way, way WAY back when, in the days when Garrod Farms rented horses to people without guides or groups, and sent them off to the well-worn trails of the open space preserve. And here I was, years later, running the same trails. These trails are shorter than at Rancho, some parts are very steep, and you have to be on the alert for mountain bikes. The views are beautiful, and it's just about impossible to get lost, since the network of trails pretty much all hook back up to the main one to get back to the parking lot.

Once again, my child-free morning was spent running and recovering and doing little else. The recovery was partly from, again, this awful migraine. It was better today, but that could be because I finally took the last Imitrex pill I have. I hate the side-effects, but I'm getting despondent about my constantly foggy and stressful state. Ten days of migraine is a record, though I can't say this is the most intense one I've ever had.

After picking up Julian and Katrina this afternoon, before picking up Gabriel, I had a wonderful experience. I made myself a salad and sat down and enjoyed it while reading the newspaper and sipping coffee....while my two young children happily played together for an hour!. No crying, no screaming, no ordering, no correcting. Julian was so sweet, helping Katrina open things on a toy, handing her back a ball to put in a tower, laughing together. Sometimes she laughed so hard that I'd rush out to see if she was crying, but no, she was just having a great time playing with her brother. I wish I didn't have to break up the party to go get Gabriel from school.

But how nice and sweet and heartwarming! No matter how stressful three young children can be, or any one of them can be at any time, it always makes me so happy to see the adoration the boys shower on Katrina. Often too much, they can drive me crazy, and she tires of the relentless attention, but seeing how much they completely love her, talk about her, want to make her happy, is utterly endearing. I never would have expected this devotion from two young boys, but then, children are like that. Full of surprises, some so wonderful you've never have been able to fathom then until living them for yourself.

Newsflash: Gabriel just fell out of bed again. We heard the clunk from way downstairs, which means he hit hard. His bed is pretty high! Dave found him fast asleep on the floor, cushy and comfy as could be. How is he ever going to night-train?!

10/24/07

10/24/07 Park afternoon

It's hard to believe that I'm a full-time mom, but Tuesday is my only full-time-mom day. Even then, I stick the two younger kids in the Childwatch at the Y in the morning.

Not that Julian minds. He was having fun reading books with other boys (don't worry, it looks like he was left out, but he was interacting with the others and going back and forth with the books.)


After picking up Gabriel, we went grocery-shopping. I love this time of year at stores for photo-ops, though I didn't do so well with this one.


After getting home, unpacking, snacks and a round of bathroom visits, we went to the park in the hopes of meeting up with a playgroup. Which we didn't at first, then just as I was starting to gather things to leave, a whole group of friends arrived, so I stretched Katrina a little while longer.

She is very social, making eye contact, smiling and engaging people, then showing off. Julian made a lot of eye contact as a baby too, but mostly to stare at them and draw them in; he didn't leap into "let's be friends!" mode as Katrina does. It's very sweet.

She had fun standing at this bench, except for the three seconds my back was turned talking to another mom, then I saw her lying on her back crying and a swarm of people around her, probably wondering where is this poor baby's negligent mother! Well, negligent mother was right next to her the whole time she was sitting safely on the ground, tossing wood chips into the back of this dump truck.


Meantime, the boys had a grand time playing on the play structures together, and later with Gina and Andrew when they arrived.


Gabriel had claimed at first he didn't want to go to this park, but as we were getting into the car, he happily exclaimed, "I had SO much fun, Mom!" Both boys played really hard, and were hot, thirsty and tired when we got home.

And me....day 9 of a migraine. A moderate one, as migraines go, but it's been increasing in intensity the past few days. Today I was pummeled by the "ice-pick" variant of migraines, especially at dinnertime. Those make concentrating and interacting not just difficult, but impossible during the stabs, just like if you'd just dropped a brick on your foot. You can't do much while you're hopping around on one foot, howling in pain, but then it passes enough for you to say, "wow, that smarts!" and get back to business. It's kind of like that. Except the smarting has lasted a week and a half now.

But I did get one piece of good news today, or rather, read a piece of good news. In a newspaper article about a nearby commercial lot that's been vacant for years, save for an old rundown building, there's a mention of what will soon go in there: a small shopping center, with a BRAND NEW TRADER JOE'S!!!!!!! YIPPEEE!!! Now, instead of driving 7 whole minutes to worship (worshop?), it can be just 5 whole minutes! That will make five TJ's within 12 minutes' driving. What a life of privilege I lead!

10/24/07

10/22/07 Katrina's first word?

"Did she just....?"

Katrina points to her Luminou bear and says "bay!" juuust enough to make us think she's really trying to say "bear." She does it to other things too, but she still has about a 60% hit rate on her own bear. This might be her actual first word!

Actually, she's very very cute with most stuffed animals (bears in particular though), hugging them when she gets one, then lying on it and hugging it.

We got the news on the peanut test. The summary: a slight potential for developing a peanut allergy. Her number was 2.4, which is a level of IGE (allergic antibody), in nanograms, in her system. Under 15 means probably not peanut-allergic. But if there's a number at all, that indicates a potential to develop the allergy with exposure. She probably won't react to trace amounts of peanuts, but any exposures could bump that number up and push her into the allergic range.

So, net result: no peanuts until age 3, and try to even avoid foods that are labelled "May contain peanuts." Other nuts are OK.

Actually, Gabriel's peanut-free experience at CDC last summer got peanut butter off our staples list here (and regrettably replaced it with the far less nutritious cream cheese), so this won't be too hard. As for other things....well, looks like I'd better make an eye appointment and update my reading glasses, 'cause those label fonts are awfully small.

I added a new account on a Mac for Julian, and updated Gabriel's photo on his account, so had to take new face photos for the login screen. Gabriel took the task very seriously. Julian...not so much.


Julian is relentless now in supermarkets, accosting innocent bystanders with his announcements and stories. "My baby sister's name is Katrina!" "I crawled with her last night and didn't make her cry!" (a noteworthy event) "Gabriel goes to Collins CDC!" At one nearby supermarket, there's a good chance that whoever he targets is a kindly grandmotherly type who's thrilled to talk to this warm, cute little boy. But he also tries to talk to young delivery men who aren't quite so charmed, and also doesn't understand that in Cupertino, there's a very good chance that someone won't have sufficient command of English to make out the hurried and slightly garbled words of a 3-year-old. Julian's speech is excellent for his age, but he still is just 3.

(Speaking of age, I was shocked when he told someone that Katrina was "12 months" and that he was "almost 4." Usually he says "I don't know" and "3," respectively.)

Yesterday's Mercury News had an article advising new empty-nesters on how to fill their lives now that their children were grown and gone. I showed it to Dave for a chuckle, since it seems to us now that we'll never get to that stage, and even when (if?) we do, we won't have any trouble filling the time!

But the article still had some interesting insights, such as commenting that isolation can occur when a home loses the "vibrancy" that children bring to it. That word struck a chord for me, and I think it's really quite accurate. It sums up the subtle, visceral reasons I wanted children in my life, some sort of protection against getting old and losing touch with the young world. Indeed, I think of Gabriel and how strong and confident and self-sufficient he's getting -- his presence is absolutely vibrant, it injects energy and life and lifts everyone up. Most of the interaction with him is interesting and fun and increasingly rich and rewarding as he matures.

I can't say that about the other two yet. Katrina mostly drains my energy, as a 12-month-old should. I don't mean that badly, I just mean that by the nature of her age, she mostly uses my energy rather than infuses me with it. Julian, it's a wash -- his sweet and adorable side is pretty well balanced with obnoxious 3-year-old behavior. But it makes me look really forward to when they're all older. Gabriel is so wonderful to have in my life now, it's almost thrilling to imagine it will be times 3. (I'm choosing to ignore the teenager thing in this idyllic projection.)

It may well turn out in another 17 years that I'll have wished I saved the article for new empty-nesters after all. Meantime, we're still plugging along with the first word.

10/22/07

10/21/07 The bicycles

Today was overall a relaxed Sunday, as relaxing as it gets with three young children around. Dave got to wash his car and do stuff outside, which meant the boys could zoom around the sidewalk terrorizing the occasional pedestrian with their bicycles.


[ Hmm, having some YouTube trouble.... come back later, hopefully the video upload will succeed?? ]


Meantime, during these antics, Katrina sat on the grass and pointed at birds, for a little while anyway.

Dave told me about a now-rare blowout with Gabriel this morning (while I mercifully slept late, still battling a horrible headache). It started and escalated the usual ways, with Gabriel on timeouts again and again, hurling insults and threats and things, and ending up back on timeout.

But, he's older now, and is learning he doesn't want to be on timeout. As Gabriel was building up to another obnoxious comment, Dave warned him again to think very carefully before he said anything. So Gabriel said, "FINE Stupid Dad, then I'm going to WRITE something mean about you!" And off he stormed to our craft area, where he furiously pulled out a crayon and paper.

Silence for a few minutes, then, "How do you spell 'ticket' ? "

See, the boys know that some tickets are good (Chuck E Cheese, amusement parks, movies), and some tickets are bad (from police). So, a serious threat from them is a "bad ticket," a threat Gabriel carried out with a yellow crayon. He didn't seem to think it reduced the impact to need help spelling it!

Fortunately, our wily firstborn recovered, and was angelic the rest of the day. As stubborn and determined as he can be, it never ceases to warm my heart to see how tender and nurturing and completely loving he is with Katrina. Out of the blue, he'll say that she is the cutest baby in the world, or that he loves something she's wearing (!), or that we should paint pink flowers all over the walls in the whole house.

Today while she was having lunch (cottage cheese and applesauce, a staple of my childhood!), he had fun imitating her goofy semi-laugh, making her actually laugh:



Before bedtime, Gabriel came downstairs to get something, and saw me as I was about to write his name on his lunchbag. I still try to come up with a creative and fun and different way to write his name each time, though I'm running out of ideas! But this time, he wanted to write his name himself.

And he did -- I was blown away with what a nice, sweet job he did! Writing isn't his strength, especially compared to the near-calligraphy of some of his classmates, but he continues to surprise me. He was very proud of himself, and I made a big deal of it and kissed him a lot. I'm always happy to have an excuse for that.

The only downside to the experience was that Julian, whose skill and inclination to write doesn't surprise me at all (and is far superior to Gabriel's at his age) got a hold of the same blue Sharpie Gabriel had used while I was distracted.....note to self: LOSE THE SHARPIES!!

10/21/07

10/20/07 Katrina's costume

I have to thank my friend Jodie profusely for pointing me to this costume.

A purchased costume. I didn't make this one. I didn't stand on line for half an hour at Jo-Ann Fabrics buying $30 worth of fabric and materials. I didn't drive back and forth to Michael's ten times. I didn't stay up past midnight. I didn't turn my thumbs into mini-swiss cheese sewing velcro. I didn't make something only to discover I'd made a huge mistake and had to re-do it. I didn't struggle with figuring out how to spread netting across wire to make wings.

No, I'm saving all that for Gabriel's costume.

Katrina's, I clicked a few buttons and spent $6.99, courtesy Jodie. Then I bought a reusable black turtleneck and tights, courtesy Old Navy and Gymboree.

And how CUTE is this!! It worked perfectly. I had low expectations that she'd wear the antenna headband, but to my surprise, she tolerated it just long enough for a few photos. I wouldn't have made the little mesh wings, since ladybugs don't have wings like that, but it's so cute that I can live with a little anatomical incorrectness. I'm loving this costume-purchase thing.


We went to the Las Madres 2006 group's Halloween party today, a sweet low-key event for which the highlight was a short "parade" and an attempt at a group photo. Katrina was ultra-grumpy on the way there, despite having just woken up from a nap, had just had a snack, and a clean diaper -- check, check, check. But the distraction of the other kids and a table with crayons and coloring-book pages helped her forget the grumpiness. (She loves holding crayons and trying to "draw," she does it a lot at home too, way way more than I remember her brothers doing.)

Back at home, I got a few outdoor photos too.


We were late to the party because Katrina was napping, her one nap of today, which started about 1:30pm. The two-to-one nap transition is well underway!

Gabriel and Julian are having so much fun singing "Yankee Doodle" (Julian learned it at preschool) that Gabriel had to write out the entire first verse. He asked me how to spell many of the words ("riding," "feather," "called,") but filled in many of the shorter connecting words himself. I was impressed, he did a neat and thorough job. Then Katrina got a hold of the paper, and he had to do it all over again. But he didn't complain at all. Julian would have caught hell if he'd wrecked Gabriel's paper!

That reminds me, today Julian showed me a paper he'd done at preschool, in which there were rows of objects. The task was to circle the object that is the same as the first object in the row. Trouble is, at first, I didn't believe Julian that it was his work -- because that's exactly the sort of thing Gabriel does for his homework. Gabriel has an awful lot of stupid schoolwork. I can't even tell it apart from Julian's!

I had a horrible night last night, with scary dreams, restlessness, pain pooling in my temple, pressure in my head waking me up numerous times. The "scary" dreams don't sound so bad when I'm awake: we'd sold our house and bought another, and as we drove up to it, I suddenly realized there were no trees at all in the whole neighborhood, and the houses were all white and all exactly the same, and I was devastated that we'd sold our house. Sounds goofy, but I was shaken and very relieved when I woke up! I've had some staggering "icepick migraine" moments today with sudden white-hot searing stabs of pain in my eyes, one of which just about knocked me down.

And now, I'm watching the beginning of the movie Psycho on AMC. The shower scene is just starting. WHAT TIMING! Zse! Zse! Zse! AGGGGH!!!!

Wait, a rescue...I'll take a look at this again....

Ahh, now all is well and good with the world. Headaches? Nightmares? Horror movies? Not a chance against this cuteness and innocence!

10/20/07

10/19/07 Dave's 41st

It's Dave's birthday today! We went to Kyoto Palace in the Campbell Pruneyard instead of the traditional Benihana, in the hopes of finding an upgrade. Actually, it was quite similar, though I liked walking around the Pruneyard afterward, better than the Vallco parking lot as is the case with Benihana.

I went for a long run this morning, fighting a miserable migraine. I hate migraine runs, they take 10 times more effort. In the end, I'm glad I did it, but it was a painful struggle instead of joyful movement through nature. All day long I've had a vice grip on my head, dreading every next step I'd take. Any high-pitched sound, such as that frequently emitted by our secondborn, drives straight through to a nerve center like an icepick, and sets me off. Just blinking sets off small waves of pressure and rushing sounds past my ears. I hate my life. I hate my children. I hate my body. I don't, of course, not at all, but that's how it feels.

Fortunately, I'm able to forget about it for some moments, like a pleasant dinner chatting with my husband like grownups, and walking around the Pruneyard, browsing through Barnes and Noble...but without active distraction, it floods right back again.

But it was a good day. While my run was often painful, once again I found salvation in the uphills, when I could focus on the physical challenge, and forget about the headache and resulting bodyache. It was overcast and so misty in places that it was almost drizzling on me, and that felt good against my skin.

Gabriel was nothing short of delightful today, helpful and sweet and cheerful and funny. Playing outside this afternoon, he came in to get a glass of water to put flowers in, and I walked in as he was excitedly setting them up to show me. He likes getting me flowers -- how sweet is that?!

Peggy reports that the boys were really good tonight, and Katrina ate a ton and didn't cry at all. And Dave and I had a nice evening being grownups, which makes me look forward to a nice weekend being parents.

10/19/07

Today's route, all trails I've done before but not exactly in this order. At the last minute, I tacked on the lower third of the PG&E trail, which to my surprise pushed the distance over 8 miles. If I'd known that at the outset, I'd never have done it!

Parking -> Coyote -> Farm -> Rogue Valley ->
Upper Rogue Valley -> Upper High Meadow ->
Upper Wildcat Canyon -> PG&E -> Coyote -> Parking

Results for route: 12VWU3MLKR6ST4V21
Route Miles Up  Down
  12  0.29    0   30
  2V  0.51  195    0
  VW  0.67    0  120
  WU  0.25    0   50
  U3  0.15    0   20
  3M  0.31   25    0
  ML  0.69  125    0
  LK  0.51   75    0
  KR  1.00  400    0
  R6  0.32   60    0
  6S  1.37    0  450
  ST  0.12    0   20
  T4  0.12   80    0
  4V  1.60  310  500
  V2  0.51    0  195
  21  0.29   30    0

Total Distance = 8.71 Miles, 1300 feet of climbing

10/18/07 The Kitchen Places

Katrina-free day today, spent doing exactly what I got the childcare for: going to kitchen remodeling places in search of a kitchen designer. Three, just today. It's exhausting under the best of circumstances, but the vice gripping my head makes it extremely difficult to concentrate. Day 4 of a relatively mild migraine, but "mild migraine" is a cruel oxymoron. Still, I made a little progress, and Julian gave me a perfect excuse to cut it short when the headache made it too unbearable to be sitting and talking. Happily, the headache subsides enough when I'm having coffee with mom friends to enjoy it, though it's just about crushing me right now as I type.

Katrina is now pretty consistent at pointing to the right person (and declaring "AH!" delightedly) when asked "Where's Julian? Where's Gabriel? Where's Dad?" But not Mom!

10/18/07

10/17/07 Katrina's 12-month appointment

Katrina went to the pediatrician today, for her 12-month checkup and shots. Her stats:

Weight: 17 lbs 6 oz (4th %ile)
Length: 29.5" (55th %ile)

The scary thing is: Gabriel's stats were exactly the same at 12 months!! (though his percentiles were lower).

She cried momentarily during the shots, quite understandable, but forgot all about it later. Actually, she still has a small bruise on the inside of her right elbow from the far more intrusive blood draw last week, for which we still don't have results.

Fortunately, looking outside through the window (for birds, no doubt) kept her basically happy as we were waiting for the shots.

We're definitely getting into a nap transition phase, in which we're never sure what she needs or when she needs it. Today Dave picked her up from Melissa's, and had to wake her up an hour into what turned out to be her only nap of the day. For several days in a row now, we've had this problem around 5:30pm: she needs nap #2, but it's so close to bedtime, she can sort-of last. But with a lot of work!

This morning I talked on the phone with a manager at my old company. Looks like I'm going back to work there, a temporary contract, starting next month. I really really hoped I was done with that company, but the flexibility of the contract is too good to pass up. I'd talked to them last week about it, right after a set of days in which I was starting to feel almost despairing about having a grownup life again. Working there again isn't the grownup life I want, but it's a good kickstart, and will make a tiny dent in the massive debt we're about to incur for the remodel.

This means finding full-time childcare. Gabriel's set, of course. I'm probably going to use Melissa for Katrina, despite the long drive and traffic-choked commute. Right now the driving seems less painful than picturing her in a full-service daycare setting; I'd really rather have her at a family daycare (and Tonya's infant spaces are still full). But Julian needs a new place anyway, he's really outgrown family daycare and says all the time that he wants to go to pre-K. We saw a nearby place that looked good for pre-K, but if I stop working and scale back Julian's childcare, its part-time prices and schedules aren't as good as where Gabriel went. So, next stop is to check out where Gabriel went and see how it looks in comparison. The location can't be beat, that's for sure.

I'm very nervous about figuring out how to get everything done at home and get dinner on the table on time. Something's going to have to give, and I'm very afraid it's going to be my running. 5-6 mile runs several times a week, plus a shower and nap afterward, are a huge time luxury that this family can't afford.

Sure wish I could have run today, but I only had a small time window to squeeze it into, and that window was slammed shut with a "mild" migraine. What an oxymoron, there is no such thing. I've had worse though, and this one's gone on for "only" 3 days so far, so I guess that counts as "mild."

10/17/07

10/16/07 Tuesday Dinner

We hosted our old friends' weekly Tuesday dinner here at home tonight. I made two lasagnas, a cheese tray, a yummy yogurt-cheese-olive hor d'oeuvre, a cinnamon-sugar plum cake, and, best of all, a tiramisu for Dave's birthday. Oh yes, and a pumpkin-bread-off, in which I made three pumpkin bread recipes and had everyone compare them. More about that tomorrow on my experimental new food blog (The Un-Foodie).

The kids were really good (even though Katrina had only had one nap and pooped out early), and it was great fun seeing all our old friends again. Now everything's all clean, I've put on about 10 pounds from all the desserts, and it's bedtime.

10/16/07

10/15/07 The Birds

A regular Tippie Hendron, she is.


Katrina in her all-consuming hobby of bird-pointing, making her characteristic "aAH!" of joyful discovery.


Julian, my little thinker. He's clearly reaching to understand how and where things are geographically, and what words to use to describe them. "Mommy, is New York on a different planet?" Some might say it is.

10/15/07

10/14/07 The Phones

Today's big family outing was to the AT&T phone store so that Dave could get his iPhone and the required AT&T service contract. This forced me to pick a new phone, as we were on a "family plan" with Verizon, which overall I don't care about. My new phone has Bluetooth though, I might like that, unless I have problems with charging the headpiece regularly. Still, it'll probably take me weeks to get the thing out of the box.

Gabriel and Julian had all sorts of fun with the iPhone display, while Katrina giggled holding onto the stroller and trying to push it around.

A common family sort of thing to do is to hang around in PJs in the morning, especially on Sundays. But around here, everyone wakes up wearing pee-soaked diapers or Pull-Ups, so we always push to get those changed. And once the PJs are off anyway, might as well put clothes on. There, done.

But this morning, I got up with Katrina and scooted her downstairs before she woke everyone else up. I was feeling pretty sleepy and lazy, so played with her and took some rare PJs photos before getting her dressed. She loves this glow-in-the-dark bear (that was Gabriel's) from her great-uncle Jean.



Katrina did her level best to foil my attempts to prepare dinner and get a head start on the lasagnas I'm making for next week's Tuesday dinner. Here she is like a Price Is Right model, showing my entire mixing-bowl storage area. I SO can't wait for a new kitchen!

Speaking of new kitchen, it's no longer early to be shopping for appliances, countertops, cabinets and kitchen things -- or the countless other things we'll need in the whole house (front door, flooring, bathroom finishes etc). It's time. I took the design sketches we have (which still have minor changes coming) to Kinko's for scanning to take them to kitchen places next week. And got a smaller scanned version for myself, that I can print, post on the fridge, and look at dreamily.

It's also time to find a kitchen designers to help me work out the particulars of where fridge, cooktop, ovens, etc, go. It's overwhelming, but I really can't wait.

That reminds me, our architect had an article (well, a Q&A thing) published in the San Jose Mercury news last week: Ask an expert: The home addition dilemma: Go up or out?

10/14/07

10/13/07 The Grape Fiend

Melissa had told me she'd given Katrina grapes (cut into safe quarters, of course) and that she loved the grapes, but I hadn't seen it for myself. Katrina overall doesn't seem to like cold moist smooth foods, which pretty much rules out most fruit.

On a lark I tried some grape slices this afternoon, and oh my, look out! She could not get enough of them, cramming them into her mouth as fast as her clumsy baby fingers could grasp them, then pointing back to the cutting board and wah-ing for more.

I think I have a new way of keeping her happy sitting in the high chair now!

10/13/07

10/12/07 3-way play

We almost didn't make it to pick Gabriel up from school today (messed-up baby naps), but I'm glad we pulled it off. First, Gabriel had to push the stroller, which is as much about doing something with wheels as it was amusing his little sister, which he did admirably.

We had some fun moments this afternoon with all three playing together. One of those involved the boys making up a noisy song to try to attract Katrina's attention and get her to chase them. But she was more interested in a book.


Finally, the melee pays off, and they run away giggling with Katrina in tepid pursuit.


Later I decided to see how much I could get away with assigning menial baby-care tasks to Gabriel. Turns out, he's just fine at getting her out of the high chair, and she goes right along for the ride!


It rained much of the afternoon here, a rare event. I went running this morning and enjoyed constantly moving cloud formations and some sun, escaping any precipitation (though mud building up on the bottom of my shoes made them feel so heavy it felt like they would fall off!). It felt especially good to be ensconced at home on a rainy afternoon, all my children around me, and knowing I'd had my time outside.

My inner indoorsy sort of hopes for a rainy weekend!

10/12/07

10/11/07 The Grownup Kid

This morning, he got up, got dressed, went downstairs, poured himself some cereal and milk, had breakfast, put his shoes on, and was all ready to go at 8am.

Gabriel, that is. Not Dave, the adult, but Gabriel, the kid. I'm loving this!

I left a bowl and glass out for him last night, and talked to him about getting his own cereal in the morning, and he did exactly that. I also left out a bowl and glass for Julian, since there's a good chance he'd want to do the same thing, and that Gabriel would either help him or hinder him, either of which could result in Julian having breakfast, or the boys getting into a huge fight and ending in a huge mess. As it turned out, Julian just putzed around in his room, but that could be different tomorrow.

I met up with my Mom friends for our old hike at Rancho San Antonio this morning. We let the kids out at the farm, and they walked and ran most of the way back. Julian and Allison explored a puddle, and Julian and Andrew fell for the old trick of waiting until I count to 3 before running off together (and I take a photo at "2" while they're still holding).


Oh my gosh these boys are cute!


We met with our architect this afternoon to pin down some details, and made some really nice tweaks to the design. And I have enough now to take to a kitchen designer. Yippee! I'm starting to get nervous about how much this is going to cost, but I don't see an alternative. The design is necessary and wonderful, it has to happen. It's the finishes (fixtures, tile, cabinets, flooring etc) that can really bleed a project.

Katrina was in rare form tonight, playing happily and watching Dad & brothers playing baseball outside while I made dinner. Then we all sat down to dinner together, and incredibly, she ate! No fuss, no pushing away, no spitting out, no tricks, no distractions (unless you count all the obnoxious noises the boys were making). She quietly opened her mouth and accepted numerous bites of rice and chicken. I didn't even bother pushing a vegetable, I was so relieved. Before bedtime, she even nursed peacefully. Life is so much better this way.

I haven't had a good long run at Rancho in a while. It was so glorious there today. Tomorrow morning when I'll take a now-familiar 7-mile route. I can't wait!

10/11/07

10/10/07 Julian writes his name

I guess Julian wanted a "race number" on his bicycle, because he found a pencil and a paper and wrote his name and the number "1". This is the first time I've seen him apply this knowledge of his own volition, working it into his play. Good for him!

Poor little guy has an infection in his....little guy. He complained about it bothering him today, and when he went to the bathroom before going to pick up Gabriel, sure enough, it's purplish and swollen and very very sensitive. Dave took him to the pediatrician, who said it's an infection from something caught in there, and gave him an antibiotic. I sure wish it didn't come to that; but you just can't refuse any medicine when your little guy's little guy looks so bad.

Katrina, in a perfect example of getting herself stuck. She stood up on a chair under the dining-room table, then wasn't able to get out from under the table because a lip blocked her forehead. Naturally, she cried. More and more she wants to reach for things while standing up, and reach up higher -- I think half of her grumpiness comes from really, really wanting to walk and not knowing what to do.

At least I got her to eat tonight, sort of, in three short sessions, some of it standing up outside, some of it sitting down in the backyard, some of it actually in the high chair (ooh!). It's all coming back now: I had to do some of this with Gabriel, none of it with Julian; but if this persists, she certainly "takes the cake" as the fussiest eater.

10/10/07

10/9/07 The Draw

Today after picking up Gabriel from school, I took all three kids to a medical center for Katrina to have her blood drawn to test for a peanut allergy. I was delighted with how well-behaved the boys were -- and helpful, as now Gabriel is strong enough to open and hold the numerous doors one has to pass through in a medical center, reducing my stroller struggles.

Before I had a chance to signal "Nooo--OOOOOO!", a kind lady at the lab offered the boys lollipops while we were waiting. Fortunately, the lollipops didn't cause the trouble I anticipated ("I WANT IT **NOW***!!!), but I sure as heck wasn't going to deal with being handed a sticky lollipop with a hasty, "Here Mommy, hold this," when I had a wiggly baby-almost-toddler to keep under control. Not to mention losing my door-holder help. Nope, the boys had to wait until they got home, where they sat at the dining room table with a plate in front of them for the lollipop. Mean old me. I really hate lollipops.

But look at that little sneak eyeing her brother's lollipop!

Calculators are the toy of the week around here. At first, I thought Julian was just playing around when I'd hear him say, "9 plus 5 is...14!" and then "8 plus 9 is....17!" and then "4 plus 8 is...12!" -- Hmm, he's getting all of these right, what gives? Seems Dave taught him how to add using his calculator yesterday, and he took right to it.

Someone overheard this at Gabriel's school today, and seemed impressed that a 3-year-old could operate a calculator, and I restrained myself from the temptation to say that his brother was reading analog clocks at this age. I must remember: for me it's just mom-chatter, but Julian needs his own moments and attention. Comparisons are inevitable, but don't do it in front of them, especially when there's a good chance Julian will live in his older brother's intense shadow as it is. Don't pigeonhole them, don't put their achievements into the context of the others. I read it in "Siblings Without Rivalry."

Anyway, Julian is having no end of fun with this new skill, and Gabriel of course has to jump into it too with his calculator. Katrina also likes playing with a calculator, though hers doesn't work.

I managed to get a lopsided photo of all three of them with their calculators while waiting for Katrina's blood draw. (Calculators have long been one of my favorite cheap portable toys, the $3 kind from Rite-Aid.)

Oh yes, the blood draw. Unfortunately, Katrina doesn't have Mom's ugly bulging veins, the kind that only, and every, phlebotomist would love. I had to pin down every little limb while they rooted with a needle looking for a tiny baby vein, until they finally hit paydirt. She screamed her feeble best, but didn't put up much of a fight. She's really not very strong, even for a 12-month-old.

I was actually more concerned about the boys, and I told them several times that Katrina would cry but it would be very short and that she would be fine. Another kid who was having some more involved procedure was REALLY screaming, so Katrina's wails were tiny and short-lived in comparison. Thanks kid, and sorry. So while the boys looked very concerned,they didn't get upset or anything. And Katrina forgot all about it by the time we got back into the waiting room.

I felt good about my kit'n'kaboodle driving home, as they happily chatted to each other and the boys made Katrina laugh. That good feeling swung wildly the other way when I had to face what has become a dreadful job: feeding Katrina. It used to fun and easy, but now? She immediately waves away anything I offer her, fusses, cries, and is completely impossible. But then, she won't play happily either and is fussy and miserable and, of course, hungry. This just drives me crazy, it is SUCH a pain!

Once again today, I tried everything, including putting her up to the table without the tray, and this was good for a few bites (I knew she was hungry). I tried giving her something to drink between each bite, and apparently, milk has some palate-cleansing properties, enough to prompt her into a few more bites. But then, just as I think we're getting somewhere, she starts to spit stuff out. Dinner, same thing; a few bites, then, "how DARE you present me with this swill!" All normal stuff of course, for toddlers. TODDLERS! ARGH!

I'm about ready to wean her, too. Nursing has become a miserable exercise in abuse and pain. She yanks her mouth off me, pinches me with her hard little gums, pounds me with her arms, grabs the skin on my neck, pulls my hair, tries to stick her fingers up my nose, then for all my trouble, cries when she's done. The occasional moment when she's calm and serene make up for it, but those are so occasional now that on balance, it's not fun.

Complain, complain, complain. Alas, but now she's in bed, and I can look at pictures of her and remember what a beautiful, spritely, funny baby she is and love her completely. Swing, swang, swung.

I'm trying something new with Gabriel tomorrow: I left him out a bowl and a glass, and told him to just get his own cereal in the morning. He's quite capable of pouring milk, and does so very, very carefully. So, why not serve himself his own breakfast? I should probably leave two bowls out, since the odds are good he'll do it for Julian too. Though Julian can pour his own milk quite competently as well. Uh-oh, I can already see myself sprinting down the stairs tomorrow at 6:30am to break up a milk fight.

10/9/07

10/8/07 The Code

A productive child-free morning for me, perhaps since I didn't go running first thing and wipe myself out. I had to wait for a house appraiser for our remodel line-of-credit loan, so got all sorts of Official Office Ordering done. Then I went for a short run, which turned into a sprint as I saw how late I was going to be to pick up Julian! In the end, only 8 minutes late, but these days, I try really really hard never to be late.

I made the mecca to Trader Joe's after picking up the younger two. Julian was very proud of himself helping me at TJ's, so I extended the honor by letting him help me unpack groceries. Hey, I might be on to something here!


Of course, bothering Katrina by putting toys in her face and then snatching them away is daily-required S.O.P.


We picked Gabriel up from school, and then the boys played together all afternoon, for hours outside. After Katrina's nap, she joined them, she wasn't sure what to make of this last streak of sunlight I stuck her in as a photographic lark. Speaking of larks, she was actually looking for birds.


Meanwhile, the boys had been occupied spinning the wheels on Julian's bicycle for at least half an hour. They'd seen Dave do this, looking for the master link, and even took turns on each side of the bicycle.

Katrina found this very amusing....


...and tried to get in on the action. That was far less amusing, as I imagined the spinning spokes ripping off her tiny fingers. Mom moved fast after seeing her lunge joyfully for the wheel in the camera screen.


I moved her to the front wheel, where the main hazard was the bike falling over on her. Yeah, not the safest baby play, but I couldn't resist the moment, with all three of them playing with the same thing. To think about the effort people go through to babyproof a house. Windows? Stairs? Sharp edges? Pshaw! How about brothers and spinning bicycle wheels and a mom who looks blithely on? OK, I removed her from the situation a few moments later.


Julian succeeds in their quest for the master link, while Katrina looks on and tries to participate.



Katrina was no fun at "dinner" once again. Offers of food were met only with an irritated hand wave and push-away. Not holding her, not taking her outside, not sitting down (heaven FORBID she sit in the nice handy convenient back-saving high chair), not favorite foods, not new ones, nothing. Not one bite of dinner for baby. Cumulatively, that means nothing, but in a particular evening, a hungry 12-month-old makes for a major bummer, dude. I was very, very happy to see her go to bed.

Meantime, Dave found something he thought, correctly, was right up Gabriel's alley. Today's Wall Street Journal "column 4" article (usually a human-interest story) was about someone who's trying to keep Morse Code alive. The headline was in Morse Code, and Dave explained it to Gabriel. Then, Dave printed out a translation sheet for Gabriel, and set him about the task of writing out the regular (er, duh, what is the right way to describe our alphabet...?) letters. Which he did, with great enthusiasm.


Then Gabriel wanted to write his own message in Morse Code, and did so! It's hard to tell what he wrote; something about asking a question "do you like carrots well?"



Another spectacular Indian-Summery sort of day here. Much cooler here than in Chicago, where the Chicago Marathon was cancelled yesterday halfway through the race due to excessive heat. One person died, and numerous others taken to the emergency room. I can't imagine having that much determination to keep running when my body is on the verge of collapse. Oh wait, isn't that what motherhood is all about?

10/8/07

10/7/07 The day's rewards

Being a parent has many rewarding, wonderful, warm moments; and even more frustrating, infuriating, exhausting ones. Some days my baby delights me; other days my baby drives me crazy. Today was both of those sorts of days.

Dave took Gabriel and Julian to All-Italian Day in Alameda, so I was looking forward to a morning alone with Katrina. Despite not feeling well, it was a pretty good morning with her, and I took her to Rancho San Antonio for short run. It was a glorious day here today, warm and fresh and indian-summery.

A short snooze in the jogging stroller meant no morning nap for her, but she was adorable, making really cute sounds and smiling a lot. Getting her to eat some lunch took a lot of work; finally I fed her bits of soynut-butter sandwich sitting on my lap outside while she pointed at birds.

After her nap, forget it. She had good moments, but was mostly demanding, fussy, climbing on me, crying, insisting on being held, and mostly refusing to eat, for the rest of the day. It was really exhausting and un-fun for her to cry EVERY time I set her down, and pushing away every bit of food I offered her. I tried holding her, I tried bringing her outside, I tried giving her something she could pick up herself, I tried giving her a spoon, I tried numerous different foods, I tried everything. Not only did I fail, but it made me tired and resentful -- can't I just sit and feed you and have you accept it and not cry and fuss in hunger later?!

I started to wish in despair for my old life back. Actually, not even my old life, just some semblance of a life now. I just wanted to put brother's clothes out without her crying incessantly. Thank goodness Dave was in good enough shape today help me, and I was so grateful to hand her off for bedtime. I don't think I even looked at her again after handing her to him.

The boys earned their one half-hour TV show today, and I let them watch a second half-hour too, by cleaning up the family room fairly promptly. Still, they can putz around all night cleaning up, so I set a time: TV starts at 6:55pm, with or without you! And they weren't ready by the appointed time, so the first 8 minutes or so of Curious George went on behind closed doors as they finally hustled to clean up. They were so cute watching, each clutching their stuffed animals. Afterward, they pounced on me together for the goodnight hug and kiss, and I let them think they'd wrestled me down as I hugged and kissed them and pretended to try to get up while they giggled with glee.

Those moments of wrestling with the boys will only last another few years, so I really do appreciate those. The moments of fussy, whiny, demanding baby on the other hand.....feels like it'll last forever. But all it will take is one little "ah-ba-ba-ba" in that little baby voice to make up for it.

10/7/07