5/3/09 Some days ....

Are we allowed? Is it OK as parents to say "some days I just don't want to do this" ? Is it OK that some days you just don't like kids, your kids in particular, or the lives kids put you into?

Katrina had numerous impossible-to-please tantrums today, including a mondo one when she should have been happy and well-rested after a 3-hour nap. Julian was worse, whining and complaining and being rude and finding the silliest excuses to throw himself on the floor and cry.

Gabriel was pretty good, focused heavily on a new project (a 3-dimensional wooden puzzle of a helicopter), though he went to his room once for punching Julian. I really hate catching him in the act of punching when I know Julian deserved it -- I have to respond consistently and punish Gabriel for punching, while inside I'm meanly thinking to Julian, good, you asked for that, you brat.

Julian asked about playing ping-pong today, so as soon as Katrina went in for a nap, I pulled out the table. It is completely impossible to play with her there, she's constantly underfoot and demanding the balls and paddles. Gabriel joined, and the boys and I had a really nice time playing. I'm delighted that they're both getting a lot better -- we even got a few rallies going, where "rally" means the ball got hit back and forth twice. Real playing is a long ways off -- neither has any interest in forehand, for instance -- but they're both getting more consistent and are following my suggestions well.

They played a little together too.


It's funny, so often I berate myself for not being willing to spend time doing stuff with my children, but I think that's because it's the wrong "stuff." I can't bring myself to do craft projects together, but I can play ping-pong with them all afternoon. I think I have to stop berating myself and just accept that that's the way I am.

We're in a military airfield's flight path, and sometimes we get to see some pretty cool aircraft. This one is OK -- the really cool ones go by WAY too fast to even turn on the camera. A few weeks ago I caught a pair of fighter jets flying in formation and they were totally vertical when I first saw them, quickly straightening in a graceful arc to horizontal before landing.


At dinner, I tried to video Julian throwing one of his fussy-fits to see if it would deter him. It didn't, but I caught a sweet moment instead of Katrina feeding Gabriel. It's hard to pick out the sweetness out from behind Julian's kiniption (supposedly about the travesty of his napkin being trapped under his dinner plate), but you can sort of make out Katrina saying delightedly, "Gabriel like it, Mommy!"


Some days it's just no fun to be a parent, but even those days still have a lot of good to them.

5/3/09

5/2/09 Three's not bad

Today I took the boys to Michael's again to get more wooden models (I love that they now think Michael's is a great place to go!). On the inevitable perpetual line, the woman in front of me smiled at the boys' enthusiasm about their projects, and commented how sweet they are at this age (uh-huh, yeah, right, whatever). She said "Just wait until they graduate and leave," and I said I couldn't imagine -- even sending my 2nd to kindergarten was going to be hard, and then there's the sister at home. She made a face of longing and said, "Oh, you have another one too, a girl?" Then in one of those odd moments of intimacy and honesty that only strangers share, she said, "See, now I wish I'd had more than one, because when he leaves, that's it."

Usually people's reaction to my having three children is "oh, really?" in a "better you than me" sort of way. It's rare that I get genuine envy.

5/2/09

5/1/09 The Unwelcome Return

Dinnertime tantrums and migraines...I think it's a coincidence. Really, not needed. Please go away.

5/1/09

4/30/09 Precaution as a way of life

I must have better things than this to blog about, but this sticks in my head. Yesterday at work, a pretty high-level executive sent a reassuring message to employees about the swine flu, entitled "Precaution as a way of life." He went on to say that we must maintain the "same diligence" as we always have with hygiene and hand-washing, but must add "extra focus."

(One thing I never understand about the stated requirements for effective hand-washing: how long does it take to kill germs? 20 seconds? 30 seconds? As long as it takes to sing Happy Birthday? As long as it takes to sing Happy Birthday twice? I've heard all of these. But what happens after 15 seconds, or if you don't sing the last "Happy Birthday to YOU" line? The rules are stated so arbitrarily that they become meaningless -- there's obvious benefit to hand-washing, but I truly have no idea one should actually wash, or how, to achieve the most benefit.)

Aside from the contradictory writing, the overall point was to be careful in life as a day-to-day policy. I like him well enough, but I can't agree with that. Safety must be a calculated judgement of risk versus benefit, or we'd never leave the house, or get into the bathtub in the house. Life has its dangers, and focusing too heavily on their avoidance could only diminish it. Precaution as a way of life? Sounds risky to me.

4/30/09

4/29/09 Staging

Can't talk now...appraiser is coming to check out our house tomorrow, and I need to make it look showroom-perfect again! When our contractor and architect did their photo session before our open house, they brought stuff to stage it with, including this rooster.

I thought this was hilarious, especially since of all things I find unattractive in kitchens, it's images of poultry. Although looking at it now, I kinda like the little guy.

And I need the rooster now! If only my kitchen still looked like this:

Which it did for about two hours for one day, before it discovered that it was not brought to life to be pretty, but to lead a life of hard work. And it has, but tomorrow, it needs to be a smiling model again.

4/29/09

4/28/09 Milk Mouth

Katrina takes her milk very seriously!

I took the photo because the milk mustache, the glass of milk and the milk clock in the background all sang in chorus: "t a k e a p i c t u r e..." The goofy face was just a bonus!

4/28/09

4/27/09 Is she home yet?

For Christmas, Julian got the unusual gift of a book of the original Wizard of Oz, annotated and with all original illustrations. Everyone knows the movie, but have you ever read the original book? I did as a kid, and it's excellent and very bizarre. I'd like to re-read now it as an adult, as it's filled with nuances and political statement of the time. Even if you miss those, as I surely would even now, the language is rich and archaic and the story is complex and woven.

Dave's been reading it to the boys, moreso Julian, page by page, for months. Consequently, Julian has been very concerned for quite some time about whether or not Dorothy gets back to Kansas. When his grandparents were visiting, out of the blue he asked Bonne Maman, "Does Dorothy ever get back to Kansas?"

Today I experimented with a different route home, which meant picking up Julian first, and having some rare time alone with him in the car. As we were on our way to pick up Katrina, I was idly listening to NPR, when I suddenly heard from the back, "Mommy! Guess what! Dorothy made it back to Kansas!" I turned down the radio, and listened, fascinated, in exquisite detail, about how the Good Witch told Dorothy she had the charm in her silver shoes (in the book, they're silver), and that on the very last page she gets home to Kansas and to her Aunt Em (in the book, she's Aunt, not Auntie).

I'm not even sure he knows there's a movie, and I saw no need to tell him right away. Clearly, Frank Baum's original story is still very captivating and fills the imagination. And how can you replace Julian's joy and relief from learning, after months of following a fascinating epic journey, that Dorothy made it home?

Certainly, I relate very well to one of life's simplest joys -- going home -- too.

4/27/09

4/26/09 Growing like weeds

Growing, growing, growing...everything grows around here. Today was a day to tackle that.

Katrina's hair is gorgeous, and I love it long and wild...but the ends are starting to look rough and Dave finds it hard to comb out. Also, it gets in her face and mouth without my putting it in ponytails, and that's iffy with her.

So I authorized a haircut, on one condition: that I not be within a 30-mile radius when the operation occurred. Dave agreed and took her to SuperCuts, for a moderately successful trip. Dave reported that the haircutter was taken aback by Katrina's objections and suggested a postponement, but they sounded quite mild compared to what I endured the one time I took her for a hair trim.

She was adament against a photo, but the back of her head couldn't protest. Before.


After. Still quite pretty, I think!


In the front, it's a cute little pageboy cut. And it doesn't need barrettes or ponytails, though I think I could still put them in if I'm in a girly mood.


This afternoon was satisfying, spend doing stuff around the house that you'd just never do if it weren't your house. The flip side is -- we have to do it! Weeds are growing like weeds. Dave did some weed-whacking, while Gabriel helped pull some by hand.


Then weed #2 helped sweep up.


I did things like repair a picture frame, put up a broom rack in the garage, set aside bags of baby toys to give away, stowed away excess lumber. Lots of "nothing" jobs that are so great to have done, and so nice to be home to do. Our 9-1/2 months in a different house are behind us now, but they're still recent enough that the simplest days in our real home are novel and joyful.

And speaking of rampant out-of-control growth, I even got everyone's fingernails and toenails trimmed this weekend. That's by far the most significant accomplishment!

4/26/09

4/25/09 The non-joiner

Dave took Katrina to gymnastics this morning, and reported with regret that it's really not fun. He wants it to be fun, it's always fun to have some one-on-one time, and she has moments of being fun in class. But mostly, she resists and refuses, partly from fear, but from what I saw, mostly just for the sake of it. She seems to be untroubled by peer pressure -- everyone else is hopping across the room, having a great time, but instead she'll stand and stare with her finger in her mouth.

This made me think -- all the activities I've taken her to, she's never really been into. Music was OK sometimes, but it was really touch-and-go, as she'd get into a State at any time. Swimming was a disaster. She's great at school and daycare, including the Y daycare, so maybe her stubbornness is all for our benefit.

Today at lunch, Katrina insisted on sitting on a chair in the dining room, at the table still covered in cloths and boys' craft projects. The rest of us were in the kitchen, where she too normally sits, but today, she wanted to be alone in the dining room as everyone else bantered and laughed together in another room. Thinking about her in gymnastics and pretty much every other group activity I've taken her to, then sitting alone at lunch, started to put it together. She's not antisocial -- daycare shows that -- but she definitely has some sort of strong streak that either makes her not care, or actively resist, joining in groups.

Tonight she was a serious grouch, and when she said she wanted to play outside, we practically shoved her out -- PLEASE! Play outside! And she did. She was outside by herself until past 8pm -- almost an hour -- when there were only a few last scraps of daylight, and only wearing a T-shirt. We couldn't believe how cold her arms were, but this never bothered her. She could have come in anytime, but playing outside, alone in the cold and dark, was what she wanted.

4/25/09

4/24/09 Crafty Boys

After swim lessons today, the boys and I picked up Katrina and got home at a nice early 4:45pm. I was all set to change into my frumpies, snag a chocolate snack, start dinner and burrow in at home....but Gabriel was all excited about a wooden craft project he'd just finished. The boys had both done one they'd received as party favors and really liked them.

I commented idly that these wooden craft projects were easy to get at Michael's, and Gabriel asked excitedly if we could get some more. "Sure," I said. Then a parallel spirit quantum-leaped into my body and said, "Let's go!" "RIGHT NOW?!" he asked, incredulous. Mom never says "right now" unless it's about following one of her orders. "Yup, right now!!" My pajama dreams evaporating in a sudden flameburst of Good-Momness, I piled the crew into the car, and off we went to indulge in some materialistic consumerism. The boys were beside themselves.

These wooden craft projects are small and cheap, but the boys have a great time with them. And, they were on sale, for 79 cents, down from $1. Fun doesn't get any cheaper than that. Gabriel picked a biplane, and Julian picked a military boat, and they both immediately got down to business when we got home.

(BM & PP, you'll recognize these projects: Julian did a similar tractor while you were here.)

Like how they're set up in our "formal" dining room? Clearly, this is not a space devoted to storing china that no one ever uses. Seeing our one dining table covered in tablecloths, paint and glue brings me far more joy than a perfectly presented "formal" dining area anyway. It's so much more alive this way.

That said, the kids really do need a craft table, but there's a small impediment to that: "glue girl." Paint, glue and cups of painty water in reach of crafty little sister with a propensity to confuse Elmer's for body lotion says that the dining room table is a fine place for craft projects. Even it means we can't eat on it.

But the boys' new devotion to crafts meant that Katrina very very VERY happily played outside by herself, not screaming or crying once in almost an hour of very very VERY happily toddling about without any interference from brothers. This made Mom very very VERY happy.

And oh JOY! A new freedom!! She can open the sliding door to the backyard and let herself in and out! I can cross "doorman" off my Mom resume!

The boys are having a terrific time with their swim lessons. Their favorite part is at the end, when they have five minutes of fun time, but they're both smiling and greatly enjoying the time in-between too. And I think they're even learning to swim in the process.

I'm increasingly impressed at how well some kids -- younger than Gabriel, even -- swim. These lessons are a far cry from my days holding onto the edge and kicking to nowhere. I can already see how much more comfortable the boys both are in the water, though I also saw Julian fall off the mat during playtime and the teacher have to pull him out. They're still a ways off from being water-safe, but this is a great start, and they're loving it.

Julian and his classmates, lined up like little ants, awaiting the fun time as their stylish teacher sets up.


The "magic carpet" during playtime. Gabriel's class did the same thing this time (playtime activity is different every week) right next to Julian's class, so I captured both classes. Wow, I even captured the moment in which Julian fell off and his teacher pulled him out -- no emergency (at about 00:33 in the video). They're both having a great time (each boy is on the far left side of each mat). The "magic carpet" play is a little more advanced in Gabriel's class, where the teacher rolls the kids off the mat; Julian's teacher mostly pulls them around. They both love it.

As I see it, this isn't just play -- it's using their new skills without even realizing it, incorporating them into fun, and rounding out their general water competence. Call me old-fashioned, but I'm convinced that the hours my sister and I spent jumping off truck innertubes into our pond upstate was an essential part of our water-learning. And FUN! Please, let's not forget fun amidst all this learning!

I thought I'd be bored waiting half an hour during the swim lesson, but actually, I can't quit smiling at all those childhoods unfolding in the pool around me.

4/24/09

4/23/09 How many days until 6?

I've often said that children aren't really "stressful" -- very annoying sometimes, but not truly stressful. Then I amend that to exclude Gabriel's toddlerhood, which often was truly stressful and had us wondering if we'd done the wrong thing.

But now, sometimes Julian's 5-year-old-ness is approaching stressful too. This is definitely not the best place in his life. The putzing around in the morning, the complaining, the disobedience (modern parenting parlance calls that "not listening," but it's really the same thing), the rudeness -- still just "very annoying." But the constant pestering of Katrina is bordering stressful.

This afternoon, despite strict orders not to touch it when Katrina is near, Julian again closed the heavy 4'x8' backyard sliding door on her hand, claiming he didn't know she was there. Never mind that they were facing each other inches apart, and that she was shrieking in pain as the door pressed against her soft little fingers. I was so upset I was almost in tears. In shaking half-whispered tones, I ordered him to his room until dinner, clutching my wailing baby. For once, he didn't hurl back insolent remarks or throw himself on the floor with a fabricated injury, and instead he quickly and silently retreated to his room.

I can't wait until 5 is over.

Tonight Katrina said out of the blue at dinner, "I want Bonne Maman and Papa Paul!"

4/23/09

4/22/09 Camping on the mind

I've been thinking about camping today, largely due to a wonderful post on one of my favorite blogs about a recent camping trip (and a brave one, in the mountains in April, meaning, brr!). And because I've been thinking about my former motorcycling life, which involved many many camping trips.

At the moment we're not planning any trips at all -- we've got to get our lives under control after so much upheaval with moving and remodeling -- but thinking about camping again gets my imagination going. I wonder if we could squeeze in a long weekend sometime this year...

Then tonight, Julian asked me out of the blue, "Mom, when are we going camping again? I loved it!"

Coincidence or clairvoyance?

4/22/09

4/21/09 Tuesday dinner

I went to a regular Tuesday dinner with old motorcycle friends tonight, with Dave's encouragement. Two couples we know who travel indefinitely -- one by bus, one by boat -- were visiting, so it seemed like an especially good opportunity to dip a toe back into my old life.

It was so interesting being there, falling right back into my former -- real? -- self. So familiar, yet many aspects seem new: sitting through a whole meal, finishing a whole sentence, listening to a whole story. When I used to attend these dinners regularly, I was strong and self-confident; my career was flourishing, my need for adventure challenged with frequent motorcycle trips. For the most part during those years I was seeing another motorcyclist, and that hasn't changed either (except that we're married and have three children, details details).

A topic that often arises is if I'll ever ride again. I don't dare really ask myself that. Practicality, my ally and nemesis, and what got me started motorcycling in the first place, says no. I started riding because of free parking anywhere on the UCLA campus -- and my first bike got 70mpg! -- but I got hooked in it for travel. Motorcycling is a high-overhead activity, not just in the gear, bike, space, time and money, but for me there's the added physical and fear challenges. I was able to cope with those hurdles with experience, constant practice and intense desire, but I'm not sure those are as strong now.

I was never a thrill-seeker speed-junkie weekend-afternoon fair-weather squid -- even adrenaline scares me. The things that attracted me to an apparently dangerous activity weren't about the danger, and are still in me: the need to accomplish small goals, the desire to be moving in the outdoors, the mental catharsis from a repetitive activity, the endurance challenge, the paradox of wanting solitude and company. Trail running satisfies much of that too, though ironically 1 year of running injured me far more than 10 years of motorcycling ever did. Still, the stakes with motorcycling are much higher now. It's not just my life I'm risking anymore, it's four other people's too.

Will I ride again? It's about as likely as was my starting to ride in the first place, or having three children. Both were unlikely to the point of improbable. But they happened.

4/21/09

4/20/09 Adieu!

I took Mom and Paul to the airport this morning, but not before one last photo-op.

What a wonderful visit! We had a perfect balance of doing things and not doing things, a lot of unfettered time, and lots of great cooking. Oh, there were some down moments (most of which involved Julian), but the good far far outweighed the bad. I'm delighted that the new kitchen and guest suite work very much as I'd planned, and the proof is in having satisfied and comfortable guests.

I decided to take the rest of the day off to handle some affairs I've put off for too long, but first, my first "real" run in months, and on an absolutely beautiful day. It's unseasonably hot right now (Gabriel told me it reached 106), but it's still green and springy and made for some wonderful earthy fragrances on my favorite trails at Rancho San Antonio. In the old days, a 4.5-mile run would have been merely maintenance, but it was a good challenge today. I haven't felt so mentally alive in weeks.

Tonight at dinner, Gabriel asked to be excused before eating much of his dinner. I reminded him that he had to go do homework, something we've all happily forgotten during the weeklong recess. "Oh yeah," he said, looking outside wistfully, "I forgot about that." I told him I knew a great way for him to put off his homework a little longer: eat his broccoli! "Oh, OK!" he said cheerfully, and delved into his healthy green vegetables. I like it when homework works for me!

4/20/09

4/19/09 Heat Wave

It was HOT today! A few days ago we were shivering in a biting wind, and today was an unseasonable, at any time of year here, 90 degrees. I'm a lizard in this hot weather, I love it. I could spend the whole afternoon sunning myself on a rock if my children would let me.

This meant I could put Katrina in the one cute summer dress I have for her, not that she really let me take a photo, as she lounged around in the toasty backyard. At least she happily permitted the dress.

Before she arrived in the backyard after a shopping trip with Dad, I'd been having fun practicing ping-pong with Julian, but she and her demands quickly put a stop to that.

Both boys managed major knee-scrapes today, the sort that has them anxiously looking for Mom, Julian in tears and Gabriel hopping from the intensity of the injury. Some cleaning, kisses and brightly-colored band-aids restored all limbs to full function.


Katrina is working on giving up her nap -- after an hour and a half of yakking continuously in a Pak'n'Play crib (that worked two days ago!), we gave up and she played outside for the afternoon. When brothers weren't bothering her, she was engaged in a digging, moving, and sorting project for over an hour. Dave said it took a shower and two baths to scrape the dirt off her, and even then she looked like she still had a layer left. That's-a my girl!

My philosophy on dirt is: the dirtier you got, the more fun you must have had! I guess some Moms might get upset about the new dress thing.

Mom and Paul and I walked around downtown Los Gatos this afternoon, crowded with other sightseers and window-shoppers, wallets firmly closed with a steely paranoia. In different economic times, especially with my mother there to confer with, I'd never make it out of Williams-Sonoma without buying something. Instead, we happily looked over the various items and chatted about what we could have used in the massive flurry of cooking we've done this week. It was fun to see the expensive frittata pans they sell, using a wonderful recipe for a leek-gruyere frittata to help sell said items -- that I adapted this morning to a single hand-me-down cast-iron skillet a former boyfriend left behind, with great success. Our Sunday brunch included French Toast, a bowl of freshly-cut fruit, Pavel's Russian yogurt, maple-brushed baked bacon and the leek-gruyere frittata. Mm-mm-MM. I've put on 5 pounds in 6 days. Or is that 6 pounds in 7 days? At least I had some help consuming the yummy blueberry mini-muffins and mango mousse and pear clafouti I couldn't resist making.

Alas, reality rushes back in after when Mom and Paul depart for cloudier and colder pastures back East tomorrow morning. School starts again, work resumes. How many days 'til summer?

4/19/09

4/18/09 Letterboxing and ping-pong

On the whole, I try not to blog about current events or my opinions on things going on in the world. That can get boring fast. This is blog about kids and family. Which can also get boring fast, but at least you know what you're in for.

But I'm captivated -- thrilled! -- by this story of Susan Boyle, who blew away Simon Cowell and a sneering audience on the original British version of "American Idol," called "Britain's Got Talent." She appears like a dowdy, masculine spinster, a caricature of a fashion don't, as socially awkward as a preteen -- and then she starts to sing. And it's lovely. It's fascinatingly compelling -- such auditory beauty coming out of such visual homliness.

Steph, if you're reading this and have been trapped under a rock the past few days, see this: Britain's Got Talent, Susan Boyle

Today we walked to a somewhat nearby park (nearby if you're Gabriel and really really far away if you're Julian) and did a little letterboxing. This was fun -- the boys were into it, my Mom liked interpreting the clues, and Julian found both the letterboxes, which he was thrilled about.

First, some playing on the dinosaurs, while Mom and Bonne Maman tried to figure out the clues.


Then the letterbox finds. Julian really did find the very well-disguised one the first time.


The second bonus letterbox was tough, the clue was pretty obscure and I was surprised we figured it out. I actually found the box and gave Julian a big hint. In times like this it's handy to communicate with my mother without the boys understanding, quickly telling her in my halting French that if she finds the box, not to let on. He was psyched.


Katrina tagged along in the stroller with Dave, and had fun running around the park and clumsily toddling after her big brothers. Whaddya know -- she can hug!


Later in the afternoon, we pulled out the ping-pong table and Bonne Maman had a great time with the boys, while Katrina and I napped. I've been semi-migrainey all week, darn it. It was the first T-shirt day of the year and I'd much rather have been playing ping-pong with the queen of spinners and marvelling at my progeny playing with their grandmother than napping off a headache.

Mom confirmed what I've suspected: though Gabriel could keep a rally going better (older and more persistent), Julian has some talent with the racquet.

Papa Paul made an astute observation about Julian today. On walks, Julian is putzy and slow and stops a lot and complains about being tired and it takes forever to get anywhere, while meantime Gabriel just walks or runs along without a peep. But in the backyard, Julian has plenty of energy running around playing. Maybe, Papa Paul astutely observed, on walks, Julian is just bored. Hmm!

A beautiful day and another fabulous dinner -- we are eating like kings and I'm having SO much fun cooking, making salads, learning from my mother, and even sneaking in a little wheat-free baking -- even if I forgot to put the bananas in banana-blueberry muffins (DOH!). My new kitchen has been hard at work letting us play this week!

4/18/09

4/17/09 Amazing Sayings

I took Gabriel to Barnes & Noble today, where there's a better selection of Rainbow Magic fairy books than at Borders. Once again, Gabriel insisted on wiping out his meager means on books that he can probably get at the library. He had to dip into his coins to cover the cost of two books, then felt the little pouch he keeps his money in after paying. "Wow, Mom -- my wallet is a lot lighter now!" The cashier cracked up. "Story of my life, kid!"

Tonight, Julian was sous-chef again, and was tasked to dice red peppers. "Do you know what a cube is?" Bonne Maman asked him. "Yeah, it's a square..." a thoughtful pause, then "...well, like a square sphere." Interesting way of expressing the concept of volume! Though he likes green beans better without the "square spheres" of red pepper.

4/17/09

4/16/09 Coyote Point

We took Katrina to daycare today so we could drive about 40 minutes to a semi-nearby science museum and small -- very small -- zoo, at a recreation area right along the bay. Perfect!

The boys had a great time with the science exhibits, themed on weather, though I'm not sure how much actual science they got out of it. A chain of marbles that simulates waves when shaken is, to them, just a chain of marbles that you shake. But Mom and I had a great time looking at the patterns made by magnets under ferrous liquid.


We walked through the habitat displays and talked about a few things, like how animals camouflage themselves and the life cycle of an insect (which only Mom remembered). If I had any notions that I could ever be suited to home-schooling, they were soundly squashed today.

Then we walked around the zoo and gardens, looking at the birds and animals. The displays were nicely done, with lots of views and descriptions. The boys really liked the golden eagle, and we happened to catch the otter feeding also.



Of course, the requisite photo of the whole group. Why is everyone compelled to take these photos? But I like the fluffy white bird in the background, some variety of heron, Mom thinks.


Great view of the bay from outside, including a clear shot of San Francisco.


We had a picnic lunch before leaving for home, though the boys were getting antsy and started to revert back to their usual behavior patterns. Boys will be boys, but brothers will be INCREDIBLY OBNOXIOUS!

I was hoping they'd get it out of their system outside, but no, they were horrid in the car ride home, dimming the glow from a nice outing. Anyway, this "environmental learning center" was a terrific place, we'll certainly go back.

Gabriel's having a grand time doing KenKen puzzles in the NY Times with Bonne Maman.


Most kids remember their grandmother's cooking, but Julian will remember cooking with his grandmother. He was quite the sous-chef tonight, peeling and chopping parsnips, peeling garlic, basting fish, and various other tasks Bonne Maman gave him.

He loved the parsnips puree that he helped make, and gobbled three helpings of salmon, earning himself some pear clafouti dessert, though he wouldn't have much to do with the cumin-garlic greens. We sure are eating well this trip!

Now let's hope that having Katrina home tomorrow will deflect the boys from each other....uh-huh, yeah, sure, that always works.

4/16/09

4/15/09 Togetherness

Thank goodness for school. Without it, days like today would be the norm, which means, two boys together all day.

We had a fun day with grandparents, a day that we planned not to do too much except have Bonne Maman and Papa Paul take the boys out somewhere local this afternoon. But the boys have been very rowdy together, fighting, getting hysterical, bothering Katrina, and generally being a big pain. By mid-morning, we'd all already had enough of them. I know all siblings fight and play rowdily together, but are girl/boy siblings and sisters quite so loud and violent as brothers?

So I took Julian with me to the gym while grandparents had a very pleasant morning with Gabriel and Katrina. I was nervous that the boys would be impossible on their afternoon outing with grandparents (a short bicycle trip to a nearby court that they could ride around) but fortunately they were really good.

Later, though, they were horrible together in the backyard, running toy trucks into things and each other, throwing rocks and toys, tearing leaves off our trees. Gabriel got another hefty set of timeouts/cool-offs/banishments/whatever you want to call them in his room today, starting as a consequence for some offense (e.g. punching Julian), and quickly getting escalated when he's unbearably rude to me in response.

Happily, my informing the boys yesterday that saying "stupid" means "I'm stupid" has resulted in a drastic reduction of the usage of that word. Unhappily, now "stupid" has merely been replaced with the most derogatory alternative term they can think of, amusingly enough, "pesky." Though I know that Gabriel's intent is no less venomous when he insults me with "Pesky Mom!" it just doesn't have the same impact. To me, anyway. He gets just as much time in his room.

Tomorrow Katrina is going to daycare, and we'll do a bigger outing with the boys again. After today, I'm wondering if we're leaving behind the wrong child.

4/15/09

4/14/09 Windy Beach

Today Katrina went to daycare, and three grownups and two boys went to the beach. We picked a sunny, but very very windy day for it. Still, Natural Bridges State Beach is beautiful under any circumstances.


This was the best shot I could get of grandparents; Julian was afraid of the water and the wind, and kept trying to go back to the car.


But climbing up on some rocks made him feel better, he could see the ocean from a "safe" distance (though stories of people getting swept off rocks had me keeping close to them).


While climbing rocks, watching surfers and marvelling at soaring pelicans, it had either gotten warmer and the wind had calmed down, or we just got used to it, and Julian relaxed a lot. Gabriel was unfazed.




I missed Katrina, but outings like this would have changed completely for everyone if she'd been along (not to mention we'd have had to take two cars, a real pain). Time with just my boys always makes me glad.


The boys were pooped out later, and while they claimed they didn't like the beach, they sure seemed to like it while we were there. I absolutely love going to the coast, and berate myself every time I'm there that I don't go much more often. Thank you to Papa Paul for the suggestion to go to the ocean!

4/14/09

Daddy Dreams

Yesterday morning when I went to get Katrina in her room, she was sitting up in bed, so adorable with her fluffy moptop and bright face. She looked at me intently and said, "Daddy was in my nap!" Dreaming about Dad, how sweet.

4/13/09 Busy Visit

Been a while since I've blogged! We've been a little busy, and I've been too tired to upload photos. Or write, but really, who cares about the writing? I know you're all in it for the pictures.

On Saturday, Bonne Maman and Papa Paul arrived! I dropped our little bunch off at Tonya's, picked up grandparents at the airport, dropped grandparents off at home, then retrieved said bunch and took Julian straight to a birthday party. We'd had to turn down so many birthday parties; this one we could (barely) fit in, and he really wanted to do this one at Young Chef's Academy. A great idea for a birthday party!


First order of business next morning: something between a recital and a jam session. Bonne Maman noted Gabriel is very interested in classical music. (She also did Ken-Ken puzzles with him later, and said he really liked it.)


It's Easter! A day for a pretty dress...


...and an Easter egg hunt at a friend's house.


Races are always called for.


(Unfortunately some bad behavior at the friend's house, some bad behavior last week at school, some violent behavior toward his brother, and some shockingly rude behavior in the car on the way home added up to a 3-hour timeout for Mr. Firstborn that Easter afternoon. And he wasn't done yet -- a reprimand from me yielded a venomous, direct "Stupid Mom" from him...now really, if that doesn't deserve a smack, I don't know what does.)

All forgiven in the morning, and today, a short hike. A 1-miler up to what I think is the best view in the Bay Area.


A refresher in poison oak spotting.


Some hill-running....


...and, of course, a photo-op.


Me and Mom. We tried to get the next generation of "me and mom" in the photo too, but Next Generation had other ideas. (Then when she's a teenager she'll complain about the generation gap.)


In the afternoon, after a ruined nap (Julian opened Katrina's door and let her out, arrgh), a little football.


And admiring a beautiful gift of a painting.


No nap meant some rare cuddling -- and look, how handy! A warm loving grandmother is on the job!


We're having a great time cooking and and testing out my new kitchen. It wasn't specifically designed for more than one cook, but it easily accommodates two cooks and a random assortment of hangers-on.

Julian thinks it's fun to have two moms and two dads now.

4/13/09