7/6/09 Daycamps start

The new normal started today!

At least, for a week. The boys are in daycamps: Gabriel in an all-day Y camp (Lego Engineering); and Julian at a half-day multi-sports camp, through Skyhawks. And I'm off work for two weeks.

After dropping Gabriel off, I took Julian to his daycamp. I was dismayed to see how far away it is, not because it's far for a daycamp, but because it's far for a middle school. This camp is being held at the middle school we're zoned for, which isn't the one 3 minutes away from home and 30 seconds away from their current elementary school. The weird zoning around here puts us at this middle school, many, many annoying lights away, and a distant and dangerous bicycle ride too. Fooey. It wasn't even great for a daycamp, as there was not one scrap of shade to be seen. Fortunately it was a cool day.

Julian was the first to arrive, soon joined by two brothers, the younger of whom (age 4?) impressed me immediately with his smooth, competent stride. Even at such a young age, you can see big differences in natural ability (heck, Katrina's under-3 gymnastics class reveals those differences even more, not that that means much). The three early-bird boys had the young teenage counselors panting and out of breath within minutes of a hearty game of tag.


Katrina loved watching.


I took her to the Y, for her first diaper-free stay in the Y's Childwatch, which overall went well. She cried and refused to sit on the toilet there, but had gone at Julian's daycamp, so she was OK. She claimed not to like the Y, and was teary-eyed when I picked her up. Too bad girl, 'cause gym daycares are a staple in my life!

I had a really nice time alone with her at home before going to pick up Julian though. I really like being at home, and outside, and in the sun during a summer day. What a contrast to last week's cold, dark, isolated days at work.

Julian's daycamp groups doing the day's-end cheers.


Julian said enthusiastically that he had a great time and that he loved it! Gabriel did the same camp two years ago, and was so-so on it, but I had a feeling Julian would like it better, and he did. Julian's just more of a team sorta guy, I think. He mentioned that they learned to dribble a basketball, wouldn't tell me anything about the soccer other than they kicked a ball, but was very excited about the baseball. He excitedly said several times that they "tested" their throwing and that he threw the farthest in his group -- "way over the teacher's head!" he said proudly. Uncle Ronan will be psyched.

Katrina messed me up on naps again today, coming out of her room and pulling all the books off the bookshelf in the boys' room when she was supposed to be napping. So I brought her downstairs and gave up on today's nap....but soon, she got into one of her no-win fits: demanding milk, then throwing a major fit when I had the nerve to give her some. I put her up in her room again, read quietly on her bed while she flailed around in a tantrum, but she eventually calmed down. I left, and she fell asleep. Whew.

This dual-nap attempt set us late to get Gabriel, but he was having fun playing Connect-4 with some new friends -- or rather, opponents, knowing Gabriel. Katrina was resuming her grump mode, and refused to walk back to the car -- so Gabriel picked her up and carried her all the way out of the school's yard and to the car!


I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at how many smiles this brought on from onlookers.

He helped me a lot. At home, she demanded pasta, then refused to eat it -- until she agreed to try it when he offered to feed her.


(I have video of her demanding milk, and him getting it for her -- in a "Gabriel" cup no less, but YouTube is down right now.)

He's also her first choice to fix a stuck Lego, as she's not terribly patient: "FIX IT! FIX IT **NOW** MOMMY!" I direct her to Gabriel, her tone softens considerably, and he fixes it right away. What would I do without him?


I spent the afternoon moving furniture and boxes around in the guest suite, which left the main room open for running around and being silly (for now). Gabriel, after months of not touching the piano, picked it up again this morning. He had an audience from his biggest fans.


I like this "laddered" momming -- one kid in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening!

7/6/09

7/5/09 Work day, sort of

Remaining boxes to unpack, office things to organize, landscaping out of control, shelves left to hang...each got a little attention today. I want to gush and love this house, but all I see is work and unfinished things.

I had a nice afternoon outside pulling weeds with Katrina, who threw herself whole-heartedly into the job of putting brush into a big bucket. This is the first time I've really been able to be productive outside with her there, and it was truly fun, having her keep me company, constantly chatting and making cute comments ("we're working hard, Mommy!").

Unfortunately, that was during what should have been a nap. By 3:30, we figured it was too late, and she'd go to bed early. And she did all right, sneaking up to her room as I was giving the boys dinner at 6pm, curling up and falling asleep on her bed. Without a Pull-Up. So it was an evening of a grumpy toddler, not one bite of dinner, and a lot of laundry.

And, the goal I've had above all else was met today: my scrapbooking stuff is unpacked, arranged, sorted, and ready to go!

7/5/09

7/4/09 July 4th

Before I got married and had kids, I had a long history of bad July 4ths for one reason or another. This year, that history almost resurrected itself, as the day started badly.

I was looking forward to going to the Rose, White and Blue Parade in San Jose with the whole family today, but Katrina refused to go to the bathroom before getting in the car. She doesn't have to produce, but she does have to try. I thought I could get her to agree by telling her the boys were leaving without her, but all that did was escalate the tantrum. Once I'd taken on this fight, I had to stick it out, though I made every concession I could think of to get her to feel in control and agree, but, I'd met my match. We stood on the porch and waved bye-bye to Dave and Julian, then she continued rolling around on the floor in a full-on tantrum for another 20 minutes until Gabriel got her out of it.

Gabriel had said he didn't really want to go either, but I was going to insist he go because he always has a good time at these things, and it's always good to get kids out of the house. Now that I was staying back with Katrina, I offered him to stay too. I was actually glad to have Gabriel with me, and enjoyed the peace of the boys' separation. But then Gabriel had the nerve to ask to play computer games because he was BORED! NFW!

I made the most of the time by working on a red-white-and-blue jello thing, and slowly plowing through the remaining unpacking to do, so it worked out. But I was haunted for a while by past July 4ths spent feeling alone and left out. I did what I always do when rattled -- I called my mommy -- and felt much better. Pushing 46 years old, and that umbilical cord is still solid and intact.

But I wasn't going to miss fireworks tonight! We all went, though Dave wasn't sure Katrina should go. But she'd had a late nap, and often stays awake for an hour after going to bed anyway, and this is July 4th, a special occasion! Truth is, I just wanted her there with us for a family outing, even if she'd never have missed it.

Katrina really enjoyed seeing all the people and the exciting situation, but she wasn't crazy about the actual fireworks. She didn't cry, but she wouldn't look at them and spent the whole show with her head on Dave's shoulder. This is such a rare thing for her, I was almost jealous that Dave got to experience it.

Then again, I got to ooh and ahh at fireworks with the boys. Julian claimed it was too loud, but finally took his fingers out of his ears for the grand finale, and seemed to enjoy it. Gabriel has never been afraid of fireworks, and I completely enjoyed his energy and enthusiasm.

Before leaving for the fireworks, the boys and I had more talks about wars and history, I think started by talking about how fireworks represent battles. This discussion went beyond the four branches of the military and how the Navy and Air Force both have planes and that the Marines and submarines are different things; getting into how wars get started and why they're fought at all. This is a real struggle for me, given how weak my history, civics and understanding of world politics is, but it's a good challenge to try to answer their questions in terms they'll understand. Gabriel had learned a little about Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War in first grade, and was blown away that there were no airplanes or tanks in that war. I was especially glad to hear Gabriel repeat something I'd mentioned the last time we talked like this: that history is very important to learn so that we can avoid wars in the future. (That's the best I came up with; in truth I know there will always be wars in the future, but I still think it's very important to understand history even if I can't summarize or even verbalize it.)

They're teaching me how powerful it is to make history tangible. The boys walked through some actual WWII bomber planes last May, and they remember it well. I refer to those planes a lot in our discussions. It goes from how bombs are actually dropped ("remember that really narrow walkway? that was the bomb bay") to what the bombs are dropped on ("factories that made parts for the enemy's airplanes") and then to what effect it has on the war ("a really big bomb made the enemy surrender"). I can see trips to Pearl Harbor and various military museums, like the Intrepid aircraft carrier in NYC, in our future.

I guess in the end, I had a quite meaningful and relevant July 4th after all.

7/4/09

7/3/09 Grill girl

It was not easy to get the grill in the back of my car at Home Depot. It took 3 big skeptical guys, who wouldn't listen to me about which way to put it in, to finally figure it out. I'd measured so I knew it "should" fit, but the backs of cars aren't a nice rectangle.

Then there was the problem of how to get it out, and worse, move it after that. That box is really freakin' heavy. So we backed the car right up to the deck and slid the box right onto it, to the puzzlement of our children. Dave got to have all the off-roading fun (even though it was my idea, hmmph). Incredibly, the back of the wagon and the deck were at the same height within half an inch.


I've never loved my car, but its rear space is impressive for a car its size.

Dave spent the better part of the morning assembling my grill (I'll share but it's mine) and attaching a propane tank we've had since moving here, and voila! Bobby Flay, here I come! I was delighted and grateful and happy that he took care of this for me, what a nice husband.

Ready to grill!! Welllll, except for the lack of fresh food in the house.

We didn't take the kids anywhere today, but they overall had a good down day. Especially Gabriel and Katrina when Julian was on a mega-timeout upstairs for rudeness, screaming, crying, whining, defying, pestering, hooting, and generally being so obnoxious that by the time we sent him upstairs, the list of his offenses was too long to tell him. (This was separate from a later episode in which he threw rocks toward me and Dave.) It came down to: "because we are all sick of you!"


Katrina was really cute today. Not the blond ponytails, which are always cute, but just the things she says and how sincere she is. She remembers more and more; even the tiniest comment someone says days ago rolls around in her head and comes back. She certainly had her share of tantrums, and a big doozy after not taking a nap today (she was running laps in her room instead), but between tantrums, the fun is funner and the cute is cuter.

(Still nowhere on #2 potty-training; indeed she's getting very crafty about hiding from us so she can go in her underpants. But at least she'll sit on toilets away from home now, which was the bigger hurdle.)

I can't wait to cook tomorrow!

7/3/09

7/2/09 The Orthodontist

Today I took Gabriel to an orthodontist -- not just any orthodontist, but the same one I saw when Gabriel was baby. It's a really nice practice, overall conveniently located, nice efficient staff. I almost felt like I was coming home.

First the assistant took photos of Gabriel and his teeth, and set up a file for him. She apparently was expecting fear or resistance from him, as she kept assuring him and trying to talk to him to distract him, but he shrugged it all off. She said later that he was more cooperative than most 12-year-olds.


Gabriel just doesn't get anxious about stuff. Clearly he was very relaxed.


Then time for the doctor's exam, far more thorough than I was expecting. He rattled off numerous technical teeth items to his assistant who recorded everything, and explained things to me as he went along.


Bottom line: wait. Gabriel's lower jaw has moderate crowding, but there's no telling what Mom Nature is going to do as the new adult teeth push their way up. He said X-rays often look worse to dentists than the real-life teeth do to orthodontists. He's got baseline information, come back in 6 months to check progress, nice to see you again.

Our checkbook breathed a big sigh of relief. I'm getting a second opinion next week from another orthodontist, but it's hard not to like this opinion.

Dave had to work late tonight, but that didn't stop me from taking all 3 kids to Home Depot tonight to get something I've been wanting for months, a want that has tipped over into a DYING for: an outdoor gas grill!


Just in time for July 4 weekend!

7/2/09

7/1/09 The Announcement

Julian announced tonight, "I want to be a vegetarian!" Just like his new religious conviction, he's not entirely sure what it means to be a vegetarian, but clearly, he's striving to be something. He thought "vegan" sounded even better, until he heard that meant no ice cream.

The boys were up at 6:30am this morning, Julian dressed (?!!?!???) -- fighting. That explains everything.

Katrina thinks "shopping" means I carry her everywhere when I sneak a dash into Home Depot before picking up monster brothers. Today I didn't have the stroller, and really, that's silly at her age for a quick trip anyway, but she's so slow I still carry her across the parking lot into the store.

Then when I set her down to walk on her own two little feet so I could shop for gas grills, she threw herself in the middle of a main aisle and started a full-on toddler tantrum. "NO MOMMY!! I'm NOT going to WALK!" Oddly, from her, it only brings about bemused smiles from onlookers. Later, she smiled and talked happily about "shopping" as though it were the highlight of her day.

Though I'm very excited about the prospect of searing the bejeezus out of chicken, pork and steak with a new grill, Katrina won't touch anything like that. Sometimes, she'll eat a meatball, but unprocessed meat? No way. In fact, she pretty much lives on rice, pasta and sometimes potatoes. Julian would be proud.

7/1/09

6/30/09 Field Trip

Today the boys went on their first field trip -- well, Julian's first anyway. And a doozy: the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I wished so much I could go too, and I suppose I could have, but I committed to working this week. Meaning, we paid childcare for this week, and I'm about to take two weeks off starting next week, so really, this wasn't a good day to play hooky for me.

But I thought about them all day long. Well, Julian, anyway. At some point, thinking about your kid on a school bus for the first time, in a town an hour and a half away, in a huge exciting place, tips over into "worrying," but it didn't go that far. Mostly, I was jealous and wished I could be with them.

They were adorable this morning, all set for their trip. Lunch, backpack, sweatshirt, water bottle, a little cash for souvenirs, red field trip T-shirts, socks & shoes (the CDC requests sturdy shoes for field trips, the kids don't get as tired they've noticed), pink permission slips.



The only thing they weren't bringing was a cute little sister.


I was hoping to catch them getting off the bus on the pickup, and since the bus was a little late, I did. Gabriel and Julian were sitting next to each other on the bus, and later Kelly, the CDC director, told me, "We put them together for some things, but you know, they start to get a little...." Uh-huh. Say no more. I recommended she separate them as much as possible for her own sanity.


Katrina really wanted to ride on the bus!

Actually, Julian's having a tougher adjustment to the CDC than I expected. Thinking about it, I realize that at his preschool, he was one of the oldest, strongest, maybe fastest, most capable. Now he's gone from top of the totem pole to bottom of the ladder.

He complained that today he was playing Connect-4 with some boys, and they were helping Gabriel but not him. "No one was helping me, they were all helping Gabriel, and I always lose!"

Wait a second....you were playing with Gabriel and his friends?! Well no wonder. GEEZ, poor kid! He's trying to keep up with second-graders in a game, something he'd never even try if he didn't know one of those second-graders very well. And that second-grader has a well-established pattern of deliberating dominating him and engineering situations so he wins, and as his brother he isn't exactly going to be sympathetic or helpful. Major stacked odds against Julian -- who is a remarkable kid in so many ways, I think he's amazing -- but he's still just a kindergartner.

One of the CDC ladies, Nicole, who I like immensely, told me today that Julian is a "joy," and that he's so so polite. She's really sweet to him and seems to look after him. Maybe she knows, as I might just be getting now, that having an older brother at a place new to you isn't such a good thing.

And after all my lamenting not going with the boys to the Aquarium -- one of the most amazing fascinating wonderful places in the world (even if I left it in an ambulance once) -- all they could talk about was the cheapie souvenirs they bought.

Gabriel's souvenir was a deck of cards -- what that has to do with an aquarium I'll never know -- and I can already tell there's a new kick about to start. I recognize that attention, that focus, that intensity, that he applies to something he's intrigued by. I used to love playing Spit with my best friend Patty in 6th grade -- I might have a new partner.

And speaking of resurrecting favorite games, I almost got a lump in my throat when I saw Katrina playing with a game of Boggle. (To the uninitiated, I was a huge Boggle fan in high school.) It was so poignant for me watching her put all the cubes into the grid, cover it with the dome, and shake it, and start the process again. To think, I might actually have people in this household who like to play the few games I like!

6/30/09

6/29/09 Official stuff

I'm exhausted. All scattered thoughts that usually get purged out of my mind into this blog have been buried with hours of mind-numbing maddening e-paperwork for Nebcom, Inc, of which I am owner, sole shareholder, the entire board of directors, and employee #1. I'd like to take this moment to come out in complete favor of excessive CEO pay, as that is something this CEO seeks every day.

Payroll, shareholder distributions, federal and state employer tax payments, wage and withholding forms, quarterly estimated taxes....it's crushing. Still, I never see how an accountant would save much trouble, as most of the work is in the information-gathering. Besides, mired somewhere between the glazed-over eyes and the carpal tunnel syndrome is a tiny perverse sense of satisfaction at having it done.

Julian announced tonight out of the blue, "I believe in God." He paused, apparently reconsidering, and added, "...though I'm not really sure what it means to believe in God."

I need a vacation.

6/30/09

6/28/09 Bed Jump

Kids aren't allowed to jump on beds here. Before you think I'm a total killjoy, a little innocent gymnastics is cute and harmless from a toddler, but with two rowdy boys around, it quickly escalates to complete mayhem and destruction. Mayhem and destruction is expected with boys around, but not in my room.

However, it's a little harder to control Katrina, and a lot harder to tell her to stop when she's being so cute. "Look Mommy! I'm spinning!"

The preparation...


the takeoff...


...the landing!


The boys are just short of being forbidden altogether from coming into our room in the morning. Emergencies do come up, but not being able to separate two Lego pieces at 6:30am no longer qualifies as an emergency. I'm done with having to jump up with babies first thing in the morning! Nowadays even Katrina gets up and plays for a long time before she needs our attention. We're listening for emergencies, but she happily bops around with her brothers for quite a while.

This morning, Julian apparently thought Katrina needed something, but didn't want to disturb us. So he wrote and slipped a note under our door.

From: Julian
To: Mom
K.D needs you

(Katrina still calls herself "Katrina D" since there was another Katrina at TLC and they used the last initial to distinguish them.)

Julian couldn't explain what she needed me for, or what need it was that spanned the 20 minutes it took him to find the paper, pencil and write the note, but he sure went out of his way to look after her!

Don't worry, we're not completely negligent with them, but the bed-jump I most want to vanquish is my jumping out of bed first thing in the morning just because the kids are up. And clearly, Katrina's in good hands.

6/28/09

6/27/09 Hot hit day

We picked quite a day to go to the park with sports stuff. It was HOT! We're complete wimps here in the temperate Bay Area: cold, rain, heat...normal stuff in Denver, Seattle, and Tucson, but step us out of our narrow comfort band and it's time for the smelling salts. 100+ degrees is a lot for anywhere, but it's unusual here.

A baseball-savvy Dad showed Gabriel the ropes. After a number of swiffs, he made contact.


Julian and a foam bat, a tennis ball, Dad's so-so pitching and coaching -- not exactly a formula for sports success, but he sure tried hard and had fun.


Some of the kids' baseball experience clearly showed. This 2nd-grader is a softball veteran, and nearly took my head off when I gave her a decent enough pitch. Fortunately for my head, I'm a pretty crummy pitcher.


Osmosis works. This girl's older brother is the most serious baseball fan there is, and very skilled from his several seasons in baseball. His sister is a decent hitter and thrower too.


Flushed cheeks! Did I mention it was hot?


Sometimes I catch a glimpse of what my little boy will look like as a young man.


I like wearing shorts at night, it's usually too cold here.

6/27/09

6/26/09 Wheel Day

Julian had a great first CDC day! Especially since it was a "Wheel Day," in which kids bring some form of wheels to play with all day. Gabriel LOVES these days; I knew Julian would too.


I wasn't expecting any transition or separation issues, and there weren't any. It's almost like he's been there all along.


But one nice thing I've already found is that Julian is a lot more talkative and tells me a lot more about what they did, or who he played with, or names of games, and general interactions. I like this, it's a little window into Gabriel's life too!

I picked them up early for swim lessons, then took them for haircuts. Spiffy.


Julian fell asleep coming back from picking up Katrina. In preschool, he had to take a nap in the afternoon, or at least rest. Not today, and it showed. He had a full, busy, exciting day. It's already hard to believe that two days ago, he was in preschool.

Julian told me tonight that he asked a lot of questions about how to play a Cops-n-Robbers game on bicycles. He was admitting that he didn't know the game, but I turned it around and told him how proud I was that he asks a lot of questions and that I think that's really really smart. I believe that. This is an intriguing strength of his: a willingness and confidence to raise his hand and ask or volunteer something in large groups, more compelled by the question than intimidated or put off by the group. Good for him.

And, as of today, our triple-pickup nightmare is over for 7 years! Then again, the boys having so much more time together might not be such a good thing....

6/26/09

6/25/09 Graduation Day!

Hooray! We've officially graduated from three different pickups until the kids are in 5th, 7th and 9th grades! Oh yeah, and Julian finished preschool too.

I've really been looking forward to this; Julian's been preparing for weeks, but he wasn't nervous or anxious or anything, he took it all in stride. His wonderful preschool did a typically very well-done little ceremony.

First the procession.


Then the songs.



The diplomas.


And the very proud happy parents!


(A friend took photos of me and Dave and Julian together, but I don't have them yet. Julian was VERY happy to have both of us there.)

Then a class trip to Pump It Up, an inflatable play-place. We've been there many times before, but this time, the big attraction was air hockey. Julian loved it! He couldn't quit jumping up and down.


I realized well into it that some parents had paid to activate the air, and that Julian was dominating and not letting the kids whose parents had paid have a turn! In fact, while he taking over and ignoring requests to give other kids turns, his mother was just filming video and smiling at him, the nerve!

Later, I paid for a round, played a bit with Julian, then insisted he give other kids a turn. There's air hockey in our future, I couldn't believe how happy he was playing this. I think it's a blast too.

But despite all that, I think Julian's favorite part of the day was getting to play quietly at home in the afternoon with his new Lego Racers kit, and a new Transformers toy (hey I'm allowed to spoil him!) all by himself, no siblings bugging him, no parents demanding he clean up or do anything. In fact, Mom went down for an afternoon nap. It's always such a peaceful relief at naptime.

Other exciting events of the day: after talking with a friend who had a similar problem with her daughter refusing to use toilets away from home, I decided to try what she did, with success after some time: take Katrina to a foreign toilet every time we're near one, and insist she sit on it, even holding her down if I have to. The idea is that eventually, she'll desensitize or just get tired of the whole thing. I have to do something, I'm really frustrated by her holding us hostage with her refusal.

The campaign started today when I picked up Gabriel from the CDC, a place Katrina knows well. I warned her ahead of time we were going to sit on the potty there, to which she of course said "NOOOO!" She claimed to be scared, then went back to refusing when I was sympathetic but didn't buy the scared claim. I pulled down her pants, sat her down, let her go so she had to support herself with her hands, she started to pitch a fit....but suddenly stopped. She looked down, surprised -- whaddya know...pee!

I made a HUGE deal of it, and she was actually very proud of herself, telling the boys again and again, "I went pee on the big potty at CDC and I wasn't scared!" I'm going to continue firmly-but-kindly insisting she sit on every toilet we come across. Hopefully soon our #1 problem will then be #2.

Gabriel's turn. A repetitive rude sound from Gabriel got him removed from the dinner table tonight...that is, removed from the island to the dining room table alone. Whenever a rude removal happens, my rule is they have to sit and be well-behaved for 5 minutes before they can be excused. Gabriel was outraged and escalated, getting much much ruder ("NO YOU SHUT UP **NOW** MOM!!") and then started throwing food by the handful. I was furious and smacked him hard, which only made him madder, and it got worse from there. Dave suggested taking away his bicycle for tomorrow's Wheel Day, something he deserved but I didn't want to do (selfishly), but that threat worked well as the basis for a good-cop-bad-cop routine. I got Gabriel ready for bed quickly, no bath, telling him one peep out of him and he'd lose the bicycle tomorrow. This is no guarantee with him, indeed it's risky because once he's lost the bicycle we have nowhere to go from there. But he backed down, thank goodness.

Before I left to go out for coffee, cheesecake and chatter with my mom friends, I was shaking from our blowout. No one can rattle me like he can. As usual, 99% of me is furious with him, but 1% of me can't help but to admire his toughness. He is one formidable character, stitched together with iron.

But instead of going into a dark closet to cry it off, I faced him again. I went into his room, where he was sitting on the floor, stewing. I told him that he makes me very angry sometimes, and his extreme rudeness is never acceptable, but I always always love him. He spit back something about where he'd chop me up and put me, and I told him I understood how he felt, but I still love him. More insults, a little weaker this time, then I told him I had to go, and gave him a hug and told him again that no matter how mad he makes me, I always love him. I needed to say it more than he needed to hear it, I think. To my surprise, he hugged me back, gave me a kiss and told me, genuinely, that he loved me too. That kid...he's amazing.

Such ups and downs today. It reminds me how very very much easier it is to go to work. But easier is definitely not better.

6/25/09

6/24/09 New shoes

Julian's last day of preschool was today! Here's he is with his teacher, Miss Amanda, who's been great. He talks about things she's taught him all the time, games and crafts and especially science. He's really thrived with her. He doesn't have much good to say about how she disciplines him. To me, that caps it. I'm all for a teacher who kids know won't put up with any nonsense from them.

(I do have to break Julian of insisting that "main course" is pronounced "main coss," a side-effect of Miss Amanda's accent!)

It was a last-minute impulse, but after picking up all three (the LAST DAY I pick up all three from different daycares!!), I decided the boys' shoes were a disgrace again, and it was time for new ones. Actually it was time for new ones weeks ago, so by historical measures, I'm right on time.

So I "swung by" the most hideous of places: a nearby mall. The Howard's Shoes is run by a really nice guy with great service, and my experiments with other sources of shoes hasn't yielded anything that they can't pulverize in a few months anyway.

We weren't there minutes before Katrina complained "pee is bothering me!" The super-nice staff at the shoe store pointed me to the powder room, and kindly offered to mind the boys while I rushed Katrina down a long hall with great apprehension -- like she's going to go here? I used my last resort, an offer of a reward: she saw some duck she wanted, and even though I had no idea what the duck was, I offered her the duck of an unknown form if she'd go in the potty.

Of course not. "NOOOOOO!!!!!"

After several attempts, I knew it was futile and said "OK!" As we walked away from the bathroom I said, "I guess no duck today!" But, nothing doing, she wasn't going for it.

Meantime, the kind people at the store had measured the boys' feet, found several sneaker candidates, and had tried them on them. Gabriel was tearing around the mall with what now had to be his new sneakers, ones I hadn't even seen yet. The only input I had was a 4-second comment that the ones on Julian's feet looked sort of pink, when I noticed Katrina doing the pee dance. "Katrina..." I glanced over at the boys again, since I was there to buy them shoes after all, not wait hand-and-foot on their stubborn sister, then back at Katrina....

Too late. She was now looking down at a lovely new puddle under her. "That's OK," the kind store owner said as he reached for his oft-used carpet-cleaning kit, "it happens all the time."

ARRGHHH!

This was no accident. She told me she had to go (sort of, she just said it aloud really), I got her to the bathroom in time, but the final hurdle wasn't jumped. We're held hostage to Katrina's complete, total refusal to even try sitting on a toilet away from home. The episode doesn't rattle her at all though, other than demanding I change her clothes. There's no way this will do anything toward getting her to sit on a real toilet next time. This HAS to stop!

She still refuses to try to pedal a tricycle normally too, though she will sort of push on a pedal with one foot.


I think I owe Howard's a lot of business in the next few years.

6/24/09

6/23/09 Horseplay

I got my camera too late to get a good photo, but in time to get a crummy blurry one:

Julian and Katrina playing "horsey," in which she "rides" his back. He suggested they switch, and she said "OK!" At which point Dave and I in unison said "NOOO!"

Katrina's also been "riding" the back of couches too, roping Gabriel into the fun too.

Little girls and horses...I know the obsession all too well. So does my checkbook. Oh dear.

6/23/09

6/22/09 Rudeness

Me: "Please put your shoes away now."
Boy: "No, YOU put them away!"

Me: "It's time to set the table now."
Boy: "If I have to do what you say, then you have to do what I say, and I say, you set the table."

Me: "For the 3rd time, put away your craft project, or I'll put it away for good."
Boy: "Mom, do you have any idea how stupid you are?"

Boy: "Katrina, can you say, 'Bad Mom' ? "
Katrina: "(tee hee) Bad mom!"

Overall, as things go around here, a pretty polite day.

6/22/09

6/21/09 Father's Day

Happy Father's Day!

I had the kids do a little card, but the real surprise was this one from Julian. After they did the card I suggested, Julian took it completely upon himself, asking only for a little spelling help without even telling me what he was doing, to write this:

I love you!
A cannon shot far!
From: Julian
To: Dad

("A cannon shot far" is apparently a measure of distance, sort of like saying "thiiiis much.")

This was much much better than the standard "Happy Father's Day" I had him write on my card.

Some Moms in my 2004 Las Madres group suggested asking your 5-year-old a set of questions about Mom, or for today, Dad, and then videotaping the answers. I thought that was a great idea, though didn't have much time to execute. It wasn't exactly a surprise, and I should have planned the questions better, but here's what the boys had to say about Dad:


Katrina is all too happy to go with Dad to the supermarket, even agreeing immediately to go pee and wash hands first.




I think Dad really enjoys this time alone with her, though Gabriel barged in on the party. Then Julian wanted to join him too, but I put the kibosh on that -- grocery-shopping on a Sunday evening is annoying enough, but with the boys together, forget it!

So Julian and I had some more time alone together while the others were grocery-shopping, in addition to the hours we spent together digging up weeds in the front yard this afternoon. I was starting to gather dinner items when Julian suddenly burst into the kitchen to inform me: "Inside atoms, there are soldiers called electrons, who march in circles." Then he added, the continuity somewhere in his mind but lost in his retelling, "And when you turn the light on there's a circle and when you turn it off, the circle is broken." He really does like his science classes if these thoughts are churning around in his mind to break through all the poop talk.

(Speaking of which, we're getting frustrated with Katrina, who still absolutely will not go #2 in the toilet. Three cleanups today, as usual, and it's really really getting old with no sign of progress in sight. My trump card is to threaten her with diapers again, but I doubt that'd work, and I don't want to go there anyway. There's got to be something to break this impasse!)

All in all, it was a nice Father's Day, despite the painful and shameful jab of wanting to call my own father today, but not daring to...any call I make might be the one in which all recognition is lost, and I wasn't sure I could take that today.

As for immediate family, we made no attempt or even discussion at going anywhere. Out to breakfast? Pshaw. Breakfast was my usual major Sunday affair -- zucchini-pancetta frittata, maple-brushed baked bacon, homemade buttermilk blueberry pancakes, fresh-cut fruit, tea, English muffins. I encouraged Dave to go off on a ride today, it was beautiful out, but he wasn't in the mood. Though we spent most of our time doing important things (arguably "work") around the house today, we were all very content to just be at home together. I can't think of a better way to spend Father's Day.

6/21/09