7/25/09 Faceplant

Today we took the whole kit'n'kaboodle to the BMX park. We expected everyone would ride except the two moms, but the funky bicycle and the plethora of 10-year-old boys turned off our teenage representative, so she hung and watched while all the boys -- and one girl -- rode.

We brought wheels for the toddlers, though only one actually knows how to pedal. Katrina still insists on pushing with one foot.


We rode the toddlers to a playground where they then hung on bars and played. Aaron led the way and showed Katrina this was possible, and her gymnastics "training" made her willing to try.


I was happy to see the boys ride too. Gabriel leaped right back into it.



Julian took a little more coaxing, but he too was soon taking all the bumps.


Unfortunately, seconds after I took this last shot of Julian, I chased him on foot as I'd seen Dave do by bike, and Julian was laughing and giggling -- and looking back to see me. Then the plateau came up, another kid was nearby, Julian looked forward again and didn't react well....lost control of the bike and then he did a total faceplant in the dirt. His lip and inside his mouth was bleeding, and it took a lot of water to get all the dirt out of his teeth. He was a sad, sad mess, poor guy. I cleaned him up, went back to the playground to find Andrea with Aaron and Katrina (what would I have done without Andrea, as Dave was off riding somewhere with Gabriel), then took Katrina and Julian home.

In theory, one reason to go home was for Katrina's nap, but I'd overshot. I put her in her room, then spent a lot of concentrated time with Julian, but once he was settled, it was clear she wasn't going to take a nap. And we paid dearly for that, she had one tantrum after another, though a surprisingly good dinner.

Her latest thing is to take off all her clothes when she's mad. Then she throws them and then runs around naked throwing her fits. It took about an hour and two bananas to finally settle her down, at which point she insisted on getting dressed again.


Julian's recovered, though he has a fat lip and a really really bad attitude, lots of crying and screaming and complaining and being a major, major pain. He and Katrina should have gone to bed at 7.

7/25/09

7/24/09 Finally Friday

Andrea and her two went to San Francisco today while I went to work, then I came home early to nap off a headache. That put me behind for dinner, but still, I'm having grand fun cooking and making yummy things for our guests. It's actually a lot harder to cook/prepare/plan vegan (which Andrea's 16-year-old daughter is) than diabetic. Frankly, I'm starting to find veganism silly; there just doesn't seem to be any adaptive or biological basis for it in humans. It allows most junk food (potato chips) but rules out healthy staples (fish). And most baked goods contain at least some dairy (butter, eggs) -- why would anyone want to do that to themselves?

Andrea has always been something of a model mom to me, having done it long before I did, and also generally keeping her cool and making what looked to me to be good direction. Now that I'm a mom too, it's great consulting her on the many things that I have so much insecurity about -- and getting exactly the support and practical advice I need. She understands well that not every parenting technique works on every child, and that positive parenting is a great start and a basic way to conduct day-to-day business, but it's not the final answer for some kids. I'm sorry to say that the boys have been giving us lots of fresh fodder for discussion, with Gabriel being #1 offender today. But I have high hopes for tomorrow.

7/24/09

7/23/09 Old and new friends

Yay! My friend Andrea is here visiting, through Monday. We got to be friends in high school, through the gymnastics team, then went to the same college. No accident, I pretty much followed her there (note to self: girls place a HUGE value on what their friends do!). We only overlapped a year at college, as she got married and moved to NYC. I was her maid of honor.

But we stayed friends and visited and wrote letters (on paper -- remember paper letters?!) as much as we could over the years, even though our lives were very different. She was married, then had two daughters. I was zooming around California on motorcycles. Then she divorced and started dating, but we never had happy relationships at the same time. If she was happy, I was getting over heartbreak. If I was in a good place with a guy, she was looking.

So it's nothing short of miraculous that somehow, our lives converged again. She remarried, and had a baby at age 43 (well, a few weeks shy). Andrea was the first person I called when I realized I too would have a baby at age 43. Our lives are still different in many ways, but we both live in the suburbs with husbands and toddlers, and both like to work out at the local Y!

She's here visiting after picking up her 16-year-old (younger) daughter from a summer program in San Francisco, and I'm thrilled that she and two of her three children can visit.

And here, in my own house, is one of my oldest and closest friends' son, Aaron (3-1/2), playing with my daughter this afternoon. It was unbelievably adorable, but even moreso, I absolutely marvelled that this could happen. We were giggly teenagers together, and here we are, 30 years later, watching our toddlers play.

Katrina and Aaron made fast friends, though when the boys arrived, Aaron jumped right into running around like mad with them.

It's been a long time since my old friend and I have had more than a few hours together, so this is such an opportunity. I've already laughed more tonight than I will for months!

7/23/09

7/22/09 Dear Santa

(Mom taking dictation for Julian):

can you make a lego ship for me please?
can you come here please?
his [Gabriel's] is much more cooler and mine is just bad.
thank you

Gabriel built a very cool battleship, and Julian is feeling jealous and like he can't make anything as cool.
This is different from the usual fraternal fighting -- this is trying to live up to dominant older brother. It will affect him all his life -- starting with Lego creations.

7/22/09

7/21/09 Wall zap

One thing I didn't anticipate about nice newly painted walls is that kids like to run their fingers over the walls at all times, every time they walk through a hall, and especially if their fingers are black with dirt. The fingerprints and smears on the walls make this house look like it hasn't been painted in 20 years.

Yesterday as I was insisting the boys clean the walls, I commented that maybe I should electrify them so that they get a shock if they touch the walls. Gabriel replied sincerely, "You can't do that, Mom." "Oh YEAH? Why not?" He looked at me with that completely sincere and directed look, secure in knowledge, and said, "The walls aren't made of a conductive material."

Oh. Is that why.

OK, so he called my bluff. Rats. Julian was totally falling for it.

IS there a way to keep kids' filthy fingers off the walls??! Obviously empty threats aren't the way.

Changes are afoot....I'm so excited about my future MWF schedule that I'm already gearing myself and family up for it, preparing Dave especially to start thinking of MWF as sacred. Moreso, bracing myself for the challenge of plopping my sorry rear end in my chair at work at 8am, but scaling back on Tuesdays and Thursdays and shifting my exercise days to then (sniff, I really really like the MW Power Weights class but that is a sacrifice I have to make). Of course, with my tenuous work situation, it could soon turn into no days of work at all, but as we all know ad nauseum, I wouldn't exactly be heartbroken.

I've just changed the boys' swim classes from Fridays at 3:30 to -- get this -- Saturdays at 8am. Sounds like a horrible time, but really, it's great -- it doesn't conflict with anything!

7/21/09

7/20/09 Reality strikes

Back to work, daycare/camp, commutes, dropoffs, pickups....it makes my 2 weeks at home with children actually seem like a vacation! Is full-time momming seeming more attractive now? Of course, my "full-time mom" days are arguably over anyway, with two in school. There's no such thing as a part-time mom, but it's still a lot different from being ON with toddlers and babies 24/7.

We decided today to move Katrina to TLC starting August instead of September. I hate to split with Tonya a month early, but we have to shift our daily schedules earlier. Kids need to get home, fed, bathed earlier -- so they have some home downtime, and, unfortunately, in a month, homework. The only way to make that happen is if Dave and I can sit down at our workdesks at 8am, and that can't happen if we're dropping off at 8:15 earliest, half an hour away from work.

Then starting September, provided I still have a job, I'll work only MWF, with longer workdays starting at 8am (it pains me to even type that). But then Tuesdays and Thursdays I'd have at home with Katrina, and I can take her to playgroups, activities, workouts, then pick up the boys from school and do things with them too. Library visits won't have to wait until the weekend. I can do household chores during the week and take pressure off the weekend, and maybe pick up some home projects I haven't been able to touch: sewing projects, arranging closets, framing photos. And life's logistics as well, like financial arranging for my dad.

Hmm...seems I have high expectations for productivity for 6 hours twice a week with a toddler in tow! Not to mention such a super-plum situation with work can't last long...but if I can pull it off for even a few weeks, I think I'll love it.

7/20/09

7/19/09 Happy Trip Cousins!

Our last day together for the cousin visit yesterday -- so we skipped the sunscreen and went ice skating!


Julian and Remi needed a little hand-holding at first, but after some time, I peeled his hand off and got him skating on his own. I was delighted -- he did great skating on his own, and stayed on the ice until it was time to go. No more pooping out after 10 minutes this time. He had a great time!



Aidan wall-hugged at first, and since Steph was occupied with the younger two, I had a chance to work with him a little. It took one time around the rink before he was skating completely on his own, zooming around comfortably, taking chances and experimenting, and having a great time. And recovering from falls without a whimper, getting right back up and going.


We had a nice visit with our new stepfamily, if you will -- our father's new girlfriend's daughter -- then it was time to pack up and say goodbye.



The cousins took a redeye, which I've always found to be the most successful way to fly with kids. But they were tired!


We West Coast cousins had a relaxed day today too, our only outing being to return the rented minivan. Other than that, today involved some half-hearted cleanup and some very reluctant preparation to go back to work tomorrow.

7/19/09

7/17/09 Cousin Love

This afternoon, Katrina was puttering around the family room, trying to "fix" pencils (they needed sharpening), and looking for someone to play with. Cousin Aidan to the rescue! "Draw me a house!" she demanded. "In YELLOW!" And he sweetly, happily, complied.

This moment was so sweet that I tried to get some video of her ordering him what to do. Just as I was about to hit "start," she said, "Aidan, I love you SO MUCH!" ARGH! I missed it! They went on to draw-play for some time, but the impulsive joyful expression wasn't repeated verbally, though the sentiment was clearly continued.

I'm fascinated and delighted to see how Katrina and her cousins really interact this visit, for the first time. Her cousins do a lot more drawing, playing with games, and imaginative play than her brothers, who are all about functional play, cars, physical games, competition and poop-talk. She's really enjoying the diversity.

Through my sister's eyes, I'm realizing again what a wonderful place we live in. So many places to go and see and things to do, and so many inexpensive, or free, as we did today. A new favorite spot: the Palo Alto Baylands, with its long walkway to a windy vista point of the bay; the marshlands and bird habitat, the trail to the small but busy municipal airport. And a duck pond that someday we'll visit when we run out of things to see in the regular spots.

The windy vista point, which was quite calm today.


And the walkway -- er, runway -- to get there. Wait, we haven't gotten to the airport yet!


Our outings have revealed interesting pairings. Two of the cousins bring up the rear, putz around, complain, ask how much farther, and make us to yell to them to catch up.


And two are full of energy, run ahead, explore, ask if they can go, and make us to yell at them to wait.


Another big dinner production tonight, the star of which was a Poulet au Vinaigre chicken dish, that all the grownups loved. Katrina didn't approve, and flat-out refused to even look at the food, even her favorite rice.

I don't "do" food battles, but that doesn't mean I don't grit my teeth, wring my hands and roll my eyes when my toddler goes to bed without a bite of dinner. We have suspicions about the state of her tummy, and Aidan's saying his throat is sort, so let's hope our last day together tomorrow is one of good health all around.

7/17/09

7/16/09 Sports Afternoon

Lazy, lazy day! I think we grownups could just hang out and yak and eat all day long. But alas, kids are kids, and need a change of scenery. Our only inspiration was to walk to the only walkable park to play a little sports. It's minimal, but there's a lawn and shade. We had fun batting, kicking, and -- my favorite -- running and racing.

The girls.


The boys.


I think I got The Shot of all five -- never perfect, but at least no one's picking their nose.


7/16/09

7/15/09 Letterboxing initiation

Today our outing was to initiate our East Coast cousins to letterboxing. I couldn't believe my luck when I found a letterbox at one of my favorite haunts, a nearby open space preserve. A short but not too short walk/hike, to a pet cemetery of all things. I printed out 4 copies of the clues this time, preventing one potential cause of WWIII.


What a place to pose, around some beloved cat's headstone. My beloved Kat naturally refused to join. Still waiting for THE shot of all five together.


We took the "scenic" route back after stamping logbooks, which involved more pushing a heavy jogging stroller uphill. Fortunately, I had some surprisingly competent help.


Being so close to Moffett Field, we see lots of unusual aircraft, but not usually such slow-moving ones and not really here. Gabriel and I sprinted up a hill to get a better view of the blimp.


Later, a watermelon picnic was called for.

It's rough diggings in our yard -- only a small deck, no patio, no lawn, and a lot of dusty dirt to make kids absolutely, unrecognizably filthy. I'm OK with filthy kids, but less OK with black feet on furniture. We really need to get some landscaping in (fortunately, the city approved our use permit for a new fence today, so we can get to work on the first necessary step).

It was perfect today, the tail end of a heat wave, so, warmer than usual but not so hot we had to close the house down. It was actually overall such a nice day that I have to remember now that I had a few hours in which the boys were infuriating me: Gabriel with rude insults and persistent defiance starting from a small infraction, escalating into a 2-hour standoff, and Julian for throwing a bat over our front yard fence again. My niece and nephew are nothing like that, and my sister doesn't brace for battle when it's time for a kid to do something. I'm focusing on picking my sister's brain and enjoying the challenge of cooking new and flavorful dishes that she can safely eat. This is a good new normal!

7/15/09

7/14/09 Heat Wave

It's HOT here! This is unusual! We had the house closed down by 9:30am this morning. It stays comfortably cool inside on super-hot days with the windows and doors closed.

A perfect day to try out Blackberry Farm, a newly remodeled and re-opened city park, with two pools. This was fun, though it took us a few tries to find our spots. The shallower pool wasn't open at first, and we kept getting swamped by day-campers, but the kids had plenty of fun, safe playtime where they could all stand. And jump.



The older two boys, to our surprise, pooped out first, though later rejoined their younger cousin/siblings, who pretty much didn't stop jumping and playing in the water the whole time.


Katrina mostly sat on the side and splashed, hesitant and resistant to getting in the water with me.


I marvelled that at her age, the boys could jump off the side and swim to another corner. But she's a completely different story, a drowning waiting to happen. I instructed Gabriel to holler immediately if he saw her fall in the water. Those Water Babies lessons really did buy us a critical 10 seconds when the boys were 2 years old, not to mention a lot of added fun.

I also "tested" the boys, sort of. Gabriel was able to make it across the pool twice, if you count stopping and flailing around like he was about to drown every few strokes, but he made it without touching down. Julian couldn't swim even a few feet. Having seen what kids can learn with high-quality swim lessons, I'm spurred anew to find better lessons.

After swimming, we had a picnic lunch in the playground area. Lots of nice shade, though really far from the bathrooms -- an issue when kids have been playing in the water as long as they had been -- and hot for play structures. But they couldn't pass it up.



The rest of the afternoon was spent with grownups hunkered inside, hiding from the heat, and kids getting completely filthy playing in our dirt-only backyard. It's really fun to see them move in and out of phases, grouping themselves according to activities. Aidan spent a lot of time showing Gabriel and Julian a jousting game outside, but was also happy later to "play" cards with Katrina. Just like with her brothers, Katrina gives everyone some low-key competition-free play.


I was delighted with how dinner turned out, and that my super-strict-diet sister actually had two helpings of a wild mushroom mix I made. More incredibly, my niece Remi had several helpings of a beef kabob I'd marinated and grilled. Success!


Other than the desert dirt landscaping, our house is working exactly as I wanted it to: lots of spaces for people to be in, places for hyper activity and places for quiet time, comfortable for guests, no activity of one person shuts down the rest of the household. Fortunately, desert dirt is just fine with kids.

7/14/09

7/13/09 Pudding Kids

We -- that being two sisters and their five children -- had a nice lazy morning, but by 1pm, grownups thought it was time the kids get a change of scenery, toddler-nap notwithstanding.

It almost seemed that in the time we were figuring out what to do, a heat wave rolled in, which prompted a very last-minute decision to go to a nearby park with water poles. No snacks, no toys, just, pack'em-up'n'go. We only stayed for about half an hour; Katrina's deteriorating mood and a horde of same-shirted day-campers shoo'd us home. Besides, my camera battery died, and what fun is a park outing without a camera?

(I'm kidding about the camera of course.)

A nap for Katrina, and a pudding treat for the rest.




The boys spent the rest of the day in their swim trunks, and the better part of the afternoon and evening outside playing a game loosely based on "baseball."




No one's having more fun than Katrina, who inserts herself into many of the games and is kindly welcomed by her older cousins. The older four play together roughly on the same level, and all play "down" to Katrina's level as they move in and out of various states and games. She's loving it.


Let's hope for more hot tomorrow, we all want to swim!

7/13/09

7/12/09 The Gang's All Here

Almost no photos today?! This must stop. I picked up a minivan this morning ("Mommy, this blue car is FUN!") and then picked up my sister, nephew and niece from the airport. The children are having a blast together, and I'm having a great time catching up with my sister. No one is happier than Katrina, revelling in the new arena in which to show off. Lots of ideas for things to do tomorrow, but no plans yet. Just the way I like it.

7/12/09