11/25/09 The sous-chef

Thank goodness I had some help today!

Julian meticulously florette'd 5 bunches of broccoli, and peeled 4 parsnips with impressive thoroughness for a 5-year-old.

Unfortunately, that was all the cooking I could do with him until well after all the kids were in bed tonight. The better part of the day was spent running around doing things I'd counted on Dave to do: dropping off children (Katrina had preschool and Gabriel wanted to attend PJ day at the CDC), picking up the turkeys and last-minute items, picking up and unloading rented tables and chairs, and a few other errands too.

Dave's really out of it, and is worse than ever tonight, though he was able to pick up kids and pizza. So I also put all the kids to bed and took care of the kitchen (even pizza needs some cleanup), then got back to work cooking.

I must point out that I brought some of this on myself: I can't just serve any old stuffing, I have to make two kinds of really really good stuffing
(including one vegetarian), that I'd planned to make before I knew Dave would be sick. I guess I could bail and make regular boxed stuffing, but I'm already committed. And if I have to do this all myself, darnit, at least I get to make the good stuff! The cooking is the fun part to me; I just wish I could enjoy it completely without the pressure of so many people forcing me to do so much ahead of time and alone; plus a sick husband.

I'm not sure how we're going to handle tomorrow; we have to set up tables and chairs for as many people as we can cram into our family room. I could do it all myself if I had enough time and focus, but I'll be tied up in the kitchen all morning -- and Katrina can easily suck away hours of energy with one of her impossible irrational tantrums. I've sent inquiries for help, and I'm sure someone will come through.

One thing for sure: future Thanksgivings will seem awfully easy!

11/25/09

11/24/09 The meaning of Thanksgiving

After some late RSVPs today, we're up to 29 people expected for Thanksgiving!!

This annual event started out as an "Orphan's" Thanksgiving, put on by our longtime friend Jim Franklin. He provided the turkey and the house; everyone else brought everything else. At the time, most of us were single, far away from origin family, young and unencumbered by habit or high standards of food quality. One year, Jim hosted about 30 people in his living room, with only a bare bulb hanging from the ceiling for light. We all had a great time, happy to be among our motorcycling friends for Thanksgiving.

The tradition continues, after more years than I can count. But we've changed. Most of us are paired off now, homeowners, settled. Some of us don't even count as orphans anymore, as we're now parents (though Dave and I are in a tiny minority among our old friends). Most of us drive cars to Thanksgiving now. And we're all a lot older.

Still, the come-as-you-may potluck approach persists, bringing with it the same friendly chaos and unpredictability. But now, for the first time, I'm finding that conflicts with my mature planning habits. Family life -- similarly chaotic and unpredictable -- develops ones' planning and structure, as coping mechanisms. Jim dealt with 30 people for Thanksgiving, no doubt many of them last-minute, but I'm finding that goes against my new ways of coping with excessive logistics, honed by being a mother and household air traffic controller.

Last year, we did a very un-Orphan thing for Thanksgiving: we drove to L.A. to be with family. We stayed for 3 days in Laura and Ryan's charming 2BR/1BA apartment with no doors on the bedrooms, no yard, no dishwasher, and a lot of rain -- and it worked out great. We had such a good time.

This year is a lot different from 2001 when Dave and I hosted the Orphan's Thanksgiving. No kids yet (I was pregnant with Gabriel). I'd never made a turkey before. Our oven undercooked by 50 degrees. Gravy hadn't even occurred to me. We had 18 people and two dogs, and it worked out great.

Since then, our friend Paul has hosted at his house, and the event started to move upscale. But he and his wife were ready for a break, and we'd promised to host it after our remodel was done. And it's turned into 29 people, including 6 we don't know at all -- very much in the spirit of the traditional Orphan's Thanksgiving.

But, I'm not using Pepperidge Farm stuffing -- I'm cutting ciabatta and herb bread myself. I'm not forgetting gravy -- I've made turkey stock already from wings and vegetables and herbs and plan to make the gravy a few hours before it's time to serve. I won't send Dave out in a desperate quest for an oven thermometer to verify the cooking temperature. I'm making sure there's salad, bread, appetizers, desserts.

But what really strikes me is not so much the contrast between the two times we've hosted this, but rather, the contrast between this year and last. Last year, Laura did most of the cooking, but I spent as much time in the kitchen with her as I could. Ryan made a fabulous green bean dish, and a few other things I forget now, and cleaned everything up. We all spent the whole day together, some of it outside, some of it in varying groups, but overall, together.

This year, I'm having fun prepping the cooking -- but I'm by myself.

At the Y this morning, running on the treadmill, I watched my second-least-favorite Food Network chef, Paula Deen (Emeril Lagasse is my least favorite). She was doing her usual overbuttered syrupy show with her two grown sons. One of her sons commented that it takes all day to prepare Thanksgiving food, but 10 minutes to eat it -- so the real fun was right now, spending time with your family preparing in the kitchen.

Boom. He hit that just right. Last year, I had so much fun cooking with Laura, and being together with the people closest to me all day. Today and yesterday, I've had a great time exercising my grand new kitchen, but I've been alone in it. My sous-chef sons, unlike Paula Deen's sons, bailed on me.

And perhaps that's the biggest difference between being an Orphan and being a family. It's not the fact that we have to rent tables, cook two turkeys, shrug our shoulders if three people bring one dish and no one brings salad, or that strangers represent one-fifth of our guests -- it's that while I'm chopping garlic, dicing onions, reducing maple syrup, infusing butter with sage and peeling parsnips, I'm by myself. And doing it across several nights, ahead of time, because I'll have so much to do on Thanksgiving Day with so many people that I won't be able to do much cooking. Paula Deen's son had it right; it's getting everything ready -- together -- Thanksgiving morning that really makes it Thanksgiving.

I'm still going to have a great time, and love seeing our longtime friends -- many of whom Dave and rode motorcycles and had many adventures with long before we had any idea we'd someday be together -- but still, the contrast between last year and this one has me thinking. We're not Orphans, not just by condition of life, but by state of mind. Maybe for us, it's time Thanksgiving is returned to the family.

(Or maybe we should go completely the other way, and invite genuine Orphans, such as active-duty military servicemen and women who can't be with their own families on Thanksgiving.)

Dave was home sick today, and Julian also home from school, though after 4 days he's finally seeming much better. Poor kid's been cooped up for days, so this is a welcome sight: Julian outdoors, out of the house, running happily. Today I took Julian, picked up Gabriel right after school, then took them to the library (Dave was home with Katrina, of whom I'd had enough after shopping with her this morning and she launched into another interminable tantrum.)


Though Julian can't reach everything on the book checkout machine, he can almost check books out entirely himself (Gabriel can).


These borrowed Magic Tree House books kept Julian busy -- motionless, even -- the remainder of the afternoon until dinner!

Then he was back to pestering, resisting, answering obnoxiously, ignoring, throwing himself on the floor when asked to put his shoes away. Definitely better.

Now I just hope he's going to sous-chef for me tomorrow. I need the help. Well really, I need him.

11/24/09

11/23/09 "In advance"

My favorite Food Network chef, Ina Garten, often talks about preparing food "in advance" so that you can be part of the party and not in the kitchen ignoring your guests the whole time.

Boy, will I be learning about that, because today we had two more RSVPs for the potluck Thanksgiving we're hosting. That bring us up to 26 people. I'm going to have to call to reserve a larger turkey, or cook two, though I don't want to tie up both ovens all day.

Dave stayed home with a sick Julian today, but now he's in bed with a slight temperature too. This we so don't need right now!

I've worked all night starting to prepare things. Even though this is a potluck, not all groups are bringing an even amount of food, and some things everyone will want. For instance, only one person is bringing pie so far, but she can't be expected to bring pie for 26 people. Some people will bring wine and not food, and one group of 4 hasn't told me what they're bringing yet. So I'll be backfilling under-represented items.

But let's get real. This is really an excuse for me to cook. I don't need to make as many things as I'm going to, but I like to, and if we're going to invite the whole Bay Area over for Thanksgiving, then darnit, we're not running out of stuffing!

So tonight I made a pecan pie (Dave's favorite), and started little tasks like chopping figs for a vegetarian stuffing (three of our men guests are vegetarians), in addition to the non-vegetarian stuffing. I've already made 4 cups of turkey stock for gravy so I can make it ahead of time.

I'm going to do as much prep and cooking as possible tomorrow and Wednesday, because if there's one thing I've learned from Ina, it's to enjoy the party!

11/23/09

p.s. this just in -- our friend Linda borrowed our friend Paul's camera at the pancake breakfast yesterday:

11/22/09 Dogs

Today was an annual event I've attended almost every year since 1993, a pancake breakfast our friends put on before the motorcycle show. I love this event; the host and hostess are longtime friends and it's such a relaxed fun way to catch up with our old moto-friends.

Dave and Julian had to stay at home though. Julian had a temperature yesterday, and I thought he was over it last night. But he woke up in the middle of the night and cried out for me. He had a very strange-sounding cough and a temperature again. After some attention he went back to sleep, but we decided against bringing him to someone's home with a roomful of people.

So I took just Gabriel and Katrina to the pancake breakfast.

The instant we walked in the door, even before saying hellos, two friendly little daschund mix dogs trotted happily up to us....SHRIEK!!! Katrina was terrified and screamed in a panic. Unfortunately, that meant right away that those dogs had to go outside.

It took a long time, but I finally got her settled down and eating a pancake, until another couple arrived with their boisterous standard poodle dog -- much larger. FREAKOUT again. Another 20 minutes of close holding and comforting before Katrina would let me put her down.

I came prepared with crayons and some pages to color, and was able to get Katrina settled drawing so I could socialize and maybe have a pancake or two.

But one of the little dogs got back inside, and as soon as Katrina spotted the dog from across the room, she froze the room with her screams of terror. Sorry dog, gotta go -- there was just no question at all, they could not coexist for even a second. I felt bad for the couples who'd brought the dogs, but unfortunately, a panicking toddler can't be shooed into the backyard. The couple hosting this event also have a dog, a mellow 13-year-old, but that dog was already outside.

Fortunately, our dear friend Linda took pity on me and helped get Katrina settled with the drawing.


Katrina even let Linda hold her, which she rarely does for anyone she doesn't know. Katrina is a very good judge of character; Linda is a very cool lady. A talented photographer, a levelheaded kind person. (Standing next to her in this photo is our longtime friend Kevin, whose new wife Angela was a fixup by Linda -- and then Linda was the officiant at their wedding!)


There was more sporadic contact with the dogs, each incident of which was met with increasing fear and screaming from Katrina. If a dog was even standing at the back door, I couldn't put her down. I don't know what her deal was; she was never afraid of dogs before.

Meantime, where was Gabriel? He spent almost the entire pancake breakfast outside in the backyard, playing happily with four banished dogs.

11/22/09

11/21/09 Snap Circuits

Today after a very nice relaxed 3-year-old birthday party, I felt like lying down and being a slug because of a headache. But somehow I forced myself to go running, since it'd be my only opportunity all weekend (sleeping late on a Saturday morning doesn't count as an "opportunity"). I'm always glad I did; my headache mostly went away and even though it was a short chilly run, my mind was clear and my body strong.

Another mom I was chatting with at the party has a much harder time leaving her (two) kids alone with her husband than I do. My husband, I'm grateful to say, can certainly deal with all three alone together, despite the massive effort involved.

It was a very sweet scene to come home to. Especially seeing Julian up out of bed -- he got a temperature this morning and was in bed all day with 102, but it broke late this afternoon, and he seems fine now.

Gabriel spent the whole day playing with his Snap Circuits. He is far, far more tolerant of Katrina playing with them than Julian, and was so sweetly letting her put pieces on the grid and snapping them together. She loved this and stayed focused with him on this for a long, long time.

(I took this picture to show on her graduation day from electrical engineering school, to commemorate how it all started.)

Gabriel describes his "tone generator" and gives Katrina a little snapping job to do. Hard to hear it, but he informs her that if there had been a battery in place, she'd have made a short. I have no idea if that's true or not.


Dave let him on the computer, and he found the Web site for Elenco, the company that makes the Snap Circuits. Gabriel thought there was a section where people can post their own Snap Circuit designs, and then he thought he posted his own design too. In fact, I think he just navigated to the Feedback section, where he submitted this comment (I walked in just as he was trying to understand "Form Submitted" -- apparently he submitted it several times in an attempt to send it):

"I made a real squeaker! Turn the swich on, you hear a high-piched sound and an LED lights up with it. Tap the whistle chip and the sound changes."

I have to say, I was really surprised at that writing. Maybe because his handwriting is so, so, SO bad I can't ever read what he's writing and it looks like the work of a 4-year-old, or maybe because this is of his own volition and not a school assignment.

He made a squeaker all right; unfortunately the moment he tests his inventions his hearing-sensitive mother bellows, "TURN THAT &$@!$&% THING **OFF**!!" No doubt he'll remember that on his graduation day from electrical engineering school.

11/21/09

11/20/09 Galette

Grownup dinner at friends' house tonight! What a treat; my Dad's lady love has two daughters, one of whom lives in Sunnyvale (an amazing irony as Dad and his lady are in Massachusetts) with her husband. The other daughter lives in Massachusetts and was visiting here with her husband, so the Sunnyvale daughter invited Dave and I for dinner with both couples. Their house is absolutely beautiful, fabulously decorated, the landscape gorgeous -- so inspiring. Plus they're just really, really, really nice people.

But, the Massachusetts daughter was a pastry apprentice in a bakery and is a very serious home baker; and the California daughter's husband is a chef. So when I offered to bring dessert, I wasn't about to pick up brownie bites from Safeway. I'd planned to make a flat apple tart that I'd made recently, but it wouldn't be easy to transport, even cut into pieces. I decided to make a regular tart, which then turned into a galette -- not realizing until I was too far committed that a galette is made freeform on a baking sheet, with no pan. This was harder than I expected, not to mention that my time to make up for mistakes got seriously curtailed yesterday.

This really needs to into to my food blog, but despite the challenges, my first attempt at an apple galette came out really well! (If not exactly round.)

Unfortunately, I forgot the creme fraiche I was planning to bring. The hostess ran out and got some heavy cream, which her chef husband whipped up quickly, and it was a perfect addition.

We had a wonderful dinner and wonderful evening -- and not too much talk about Alzheimer's.

To my dismay, our longtime favorite sitter Peggy must have moved -- her cell phone number was answered by someone else, and she didn't answer her email (though it didn't bounce). Fortunately, Tonya came through with a sleepover for the kids. And I came through with everyone's favorite stuffed animals.


I might just make that galette again for Thanksgiving.

11/20/09

11/19/09 Cramming for the test

Interview tomorrow. I'm trying to re-learn everything I ever knew about networking in one night. The good news is, that's a lot. The bad news is, that's a lot. The good news again is that now, google and wikipedia are on my side.

11/19/09

11/19/09 Playground

Before my day turned upside-down, it started off normally enough...as normal as anything gets with three children at a school playground. I really don't have to walk Julian to class anymore, but I've been working so much I just felt like it.

Gabriel and Katrina had a great time chasing each other and playing hopscotch, while Julian reunited with his kindergarten friends. It'd been hours since they'd seen each other, after all.





But, I can always count on Katrina to take a vision of a nice relaxed morning and inject a tantrum into it. Starbucks had some stuffed animals and other kid-attractive items in a basket at her level (on purpose, I'm sure), and my gentle admonition to her to put a monkey back into the basket was not well-received.


The tantrum continued on the sidewalk outside the store. The difference between Katrina and Gabriel at this age, though, is that when I walk away, Katrina loses her nerve and gets up and runs after me, wailing pitifully: "MOM-*MEEEE*!!!!" Uncharacteristically, I wasn't at all rattled by this. I wonder if my calm attitude was viewed by onlookers as lax ("DO something!") or strong ("way to keep cool mom!"). Some onlookers did shoot me a glance of sympathy -- for Katrina, like, "ohhh, poor girl!" to which I responded with a giant eye-roll.


I'd planned to spend the afternoon baking a nice-looking tart for a dinner we were going to Friday night, and I did, but not in a relaxed way at all. I rushed through it so I could hit the books and prepare for an interview I had the next day. It's one thing to really not know something, but another thing entirely to know something but not to be able to speak about it intelligently because it's one or two sentences removed from your immediate memory.

Children, grownup social life, work....the day was balanced, but there was too much work in all of it!

11/19/09

11/18/09 Brace yourself

Feh, too much work in my day today to make for interesting blog posts.

But, I do have something to say about last week. Those cute photos of Katrina laughing on the porch made me think something...then Gabriel said it too: "I love how her front teeth stick out!" The dentist last week confirmed it: start saving, 'cause that mouth isn't looking good! She has an obvious overbite. Gabriel's a shoe-in for braces too, though not for a while since he's still only lost two (bottom) teeth.

Julian, on the other hand, totally different. Aside from having a lot more room in his mouth, his X-rays don't show anything ugly coming up -- could still happen but looks OK now -- and his mouth chemistry is different than Gabriel's. Gabriel's teeth start looking really dingy and awful after about 5 months. I've never seen tartar build up on the front of front teeth before, but they do on his. The hygienists always remind us to floss him and help him brush, which I do often enough to help if it did, which it doesn't. Julian's teeth, on the other hand, are shiny white and never build up tartar. But he also gets canker sores.

Hmm, I wonder if knowing that two of our kids will need braces will affect my attitude about working?

11/18/09

11/17/09 Improving the odds

One thing about having three kids: it's rare that all your children are awful in one day. Today's angel was Katrina, being adorable and delightful and funny and even relatively agreeable.

Julian has been a major pest lately. My fuse with him is very very short; I find myself snapping at his first obnoxious resistance ("No YOU close the car door Mommy"). He ignores me when I pick him up at the CDC and I often have to physically drag him away from the reading corner, then at home he swings his lunch around and strews the contents of his knapsack all over the living room, throwing himself on the floor and wailing if I insist he put it all away.

But nothing, nothing can match the horror of a confrontation with Gabriel. They're much much rarer these days, and unlike his toddler days they're now actually about something. But just like his toddler days, he takes conflict head-on when something means something to him, and when there's a row, it's really ugly -- scary, almost.

This morning's issue started, as usual, with the boys not getting dressed. This is really becoming painful -- they dress themselves in minutes if so motivated, but most of the time we're ignored or told, "It's my life to live!" Gabriel had some paper weapons he'd made -- a gun and a sword, and was bugging Katrina with them this morning. That makes her scream, and makes us scold him to stop.

Dave eventually took Gabriel's paper weapons away, and all hell broke loose. Screaming, knocking things around, bloodcurdling insults and threats -- and ultimately no breakfast. I managed to settle him down enough that he got into the car without much trouble, then he had breakfast at the CDC and was fine the rest of the day, but it was a nasty morning.

He told me tonight he was almost late to class this morning because he was scarfing breakfast at the CDC. I told him sternly that he absolutely cannot be late to school because of breakfast that he had plenty of time for at home.

I shouldn't complain...most of the time our boys are really fun and full of life and energy and ideas and joy. But on days like today, it's hard not to be grateful that there's another one here to look upon with unfettered fondness. Another one child, that is -- and not a boy.

11/17/09

11/16/09 Clean House

It made for a crazy evening last night, but we got the place picked up. Today, some very competent and diligent ladies (they always are ladies) scrubbed our house from head to toe, even making a cute little fold in the toilet paper. Some are enterprising enough to make a bow-tie out of toilet paper, or arrange stuffed animals on the kids' beds in cute ways, like putting sunglasses on a teddy bear. It's SO nice to walk into the house at the end of the day and have it be sparkling.

I still have no idea what's going on with work. A really really interesting new, but short, project I was given I finished today, minus the writeup. I still have no idea if there will be a new project to work on as a contractor, or if I'm going to be offered a job as an employee. This day-to-day -- sometimes minute-by-minute -- stuff is exactly opposite of how childcare planning works! But I plan to take most, if not all, of next week off, to prepare for Thanksgiving and try to catch up on life around the house. Somehow house life is more satisfying when my life away from the house is too.

11/16/09

11/15/09 Art Museum

Who am I not to indulge such an enthusiastic request to see an art museum? I have no idea what's gotten into Julian, but he really really wanted to see an art museum. So, we did that!

I took all three to downtown San Jose to see the art museum downtown. It was a really nice day, perfect for a trip to the city. Too bad we were just going to San Jose. It just isn't a real city. But it did the job for today, and the kids loved this rare experience of actually walking along city blocks, with big buildings and traffic and a surprising amount of bustle for a Sunday.


Julian was SO happy to see the sign. "ART MUSEUM! ART MUSEUM!" he exclaimed excitedly.


Gabriel wasn't excited about this idea at all, and I had to practically drag him into the car. But, he settled down when we talked in the car on the way there about what art was -- not just paintings, although paintings are lovely too. He was very surprised to hear that music and writing -- his and my preferred artforms -- are art too, and that art is a big part of engineering, such as with architecture.

Besides, an art museum in the heart of Silicon Valley will never be just paintings, though that's what we were after. This museum isn't huge, and that was fine. We went to a Visual Arts display that had a variety of things -- sculptures, a house built out of blue bottles, woodcut ink prints, photographs, paintings -- even a digital image of a tree blowing in the wind projected on the wall. Another area had a vintage pinball machine, which the boys loved.

Gabriel was really excited when he discovered that an art piece of a blindfolded woman was made of folded-up pieces of cotton, and I talked to them about how it just looks like a bunch of fabric rectangles up close, but standing at a distance, the actual image comes out. I hoped they didn't ask me anything beyond that, because that was the full extent of my art knowledge!

No photography allowed, so I didn't get any photos of the kids looking excitedly at the displays. Not that I had a lot of time anyway -- it was a lot of work making sure they didn't touch anything, even the walls. They're used to hands-on types of museums; an art museum's basic protocol is foreign to them. Fortunately, Katrina stayed in the stroller most of the time, and I knew it was time to go when she insisted on pushing the stroller through the Ansel Adams exhibit, and it took all my attention to make sure she didn't run into any walls.

It's not a large museum, and I had a goal of about an hour anyway, and that was perfect. Katrina was starting to get antsy (though overall she loved looking at everything), and there's only so much not-touching kids can take. They had fun playing on the steps outside for a few minutes, right next to where the outdoor circular ice rink will be set up in a few weeks.


This was a perfect outing for us -- a great day for it, something we could do at any time of the day, not too long, not crowded, and didn't take over the day. I could just hear their synapses snapping as they all sucked in the new sights and concepts, and we talked about how things looked, how they were made, and what we saw in them. And it was a lot of fun. Definitely earned my Good Mom badge for the day.

11/15/09

11/14/09 Stripes

It's pretty much futile setting clothes out for Katrina anymore. She picks her own and gets dressed in the morning anyway, unlike her brothers who need constant prompting to put on clothes that I set out for them.

She had a great time modeling her favorite outfit today: stripes.


Striped socks too.


Even a striped ponytail! (Dad's idea)



Why couldn't the professional photographer get this face?


(and Photo-shop out the syrup drips on her shirt!!)

My day started with a very nice run at Rancho San Antonio, over 8 miles on a lovely scenic route (they all are, really) that I haven't run in a long, long time. My back has been in really good shape lately, enough so that my ankles are becoming a problem again. But tendonitis is far, far more manageable and less chronic than the back problem.

This afternoon, I dragged the whole family out to a furniture store that specializes in "dinettes" since they were having a floor sample sale. I had no intention of buying anything; I just wanted to see how we'd all fit around a 60" round table, as my designer (I can say that now, "my designer" !) suggested, and also see if there were other options. I really like the guidance she gave me: "let's find the table first." Our space for a dining table in the kitchen is strange; very narrow but sort of long, and overwhelmed by the island. We had expected to eat in our actual dining room, so we really didn't pay enough attention to fitting a dining table in the kitchen -- and should have. Our dining situation really, really needs attention.

We fit pretty well around a 60" round table, though the distance between us gave it a sort of a formal feel I didn't like, but I guess we'd get used to. Or maybe it was just the formal and oddly purple finish to this particular table.


Then we came across this oblong table -- only 4" longer than our maximum, but still with rounded edges to make it easier to pass by. And, with chairs already upholstered in "microsuede" which is supposed to be great for dining chairs (durable, cleanable).

And the whole set marked down from over $5000 to $2000. I wish it were a darker color, but, it's such a perfect size -- and price -- that it's really hard to argue with. We're seriously considering buying it....though that sort of defeats the purpose of having a designer help put together the whole room. On the other hand, she pointed me in the right direction, and I have every intention of being led the rest of the way!

In the car on the way shopping, Julian suddenly burst out with a very surprising request, "Mom! I want to see an ART MUSEUM!" He said he read about an "art museum" in a book. These kids have been to a whole lot of museums, but almost all science, military, and hands-on sorts. Art? Seriously?! Why not just ask me to breathe underwater? But I'm really looking forward to fulfilling this wonderful request!

11/14/09

11/13/09 Play and sing

I haven't mentioned lately that we have a new pianist in our midst: Julian!

Our electronic piano has a feature in which it plays the background music and waits for the player to play the melody along with it. Gabriel discovered this and showed Julian, who's been teaching himself Mary Had A Little Lamb, sometimes for hours at a time.

Unlike Gabriel, Julian tries to sing along too. Gabriel won't have anything to do with singing and playing, though he sings and hums to himself ALL the time (to a fault, it's been an issue in the classroom since kindergarten).


Darling Dear Julian, however, had to go to bed early tonight after excessive rudeness while we talked to him about a "Poor" behavior report from his teacher this week, coupled with several timeouts at the CDC and basic obnoxiousness at home too. But he sure was sweet while he was playing piano today.

11/13/09

11/12/09 Come fly with me!

Katrina sings to herself ALL the time now. I caught some video, and to my amazement, she didn't "fly" into a rage when she noticed me. Later, she explained that she's an airplane (hence the exit):


I don't think Christina Aguillera has anything to worry about, but still, mundanely adorable.

11/12/09

11/11/09 Veteran's Day

No school, no CDC, no preschool -- so, no work!

Usually I go to work on Wednesdays, but not today. I had two appointments at home anyway, which turned into only one, but a useful one. I met with an interior designer to help tackle our strangely troublesome dining/family room. I think its biggest trouble is that it is a family room -- I think everyone will be happier when it's not Kid Central, and kids can make as much (well, more) noise as they want elsewhere.

After all, who wants to sit on a couch carpeted in Legos?



I took these photos a few days ago, when Katrina was busy with yet another building project. I think I took them because she spends more than half her time building things and putting things together. She loves her castle set and playhouses, and gets attached to the little figures, but she's overall more engaged by building-type toys and puzzles.

Well, good, I can relate to that. My mother says I was very much the same way as a kid. It makes up for the blond hair, which still weirds me out. It's perhaps silly, but it is interesting to see yourself in your children. Unfortunately, that includes the bad sides too!

11/11/09

11/10/09 Studio shots

The studio photographers that descended upon Katrina's school sure made certain parents wouldn't forget the day to view and buy photos! There was a sign up at the school for weeks, we got written notices, the kids were all sent home with reminder stickers on their shirts the day before, and we were phone-spammed with an automated reminder message. Seriously!

And after all that hullabaloo, there was only one person at the school taking photos out, answering questions and accepting payment, so it took a while.

Turns out, decisions on the shots were really easy. My dear daughter isn't all that photogenic -- or not all that cooperative for a studio photographer, I guess.


This is really not my kind of photo anyway, but the ones I get of Julian are irresistable. These are more obligatory. Don't get me wrong -- she's adorable to me, but I've seen -- and even taken -- much better pictures that capture her personality better.

More for the scrapbook!

11/10/09

11/9/09 Too much too late

Strange, strange work day; special work day tomorrow, planning meeting for holiday party tonight, up late cleaning up kitchen and making lunches. That's enough!

11/8/09 Shoe Day

No photos today -- sorry! How does that happen? It happens when our most noteworthy event of the day is shoe-shopping. I took the three to an outlet store, located in an outlet MALL, which instantly makes the experience horrendous for me.

Despite advance planning on where to park, it was still a headache finding parking, how to get into the mall, and finding the store (a Stride-Rite outlet). It was crowded, there was no one to help size the shoes, no entertainment for the kids, almost no place to sit for them to try things on. The boys were having a great time, and Katrina was a disaster, which means they constantly pestered her and she constantly cried, making the whole experience one futile reprimand after another. I'm sure half the people watching were thinking, "that little boy deserves a smack, why doesn't she do it already" and the other half were thinking, "that little boy is about to get smacked, good thing I have CPS on speed-dial."

In the end, though, I came away with six pairs of shoes, two per child, one in their current size and one a half-size up, ranging in prices from $20 to $28. Usually I spend almost the same amount I did today on just three pairs. I guess it comes down to the question, "If someone paid you $150 to take your three kids to a crowded mall on a beautiful day, would you?" Today, I took the $150. And, they all have new shoes before the old ones are completely shredded.

11/8/09

11/6/09 No fun

Ugh. They were all awful tonight! Katrina grumpy and crying at the slightest provocation. Julian: whiny and complaining and refusing to do things as asked. Gabriel, who's usually the most reasonable: rude, defiant and persistent at both. I can't even keep track of the numerous infractions, charts, consequences and yet more consequences for the first consequences not being met.

Two day ago, I got so frustrated at Julian's nonstop rudeness, ignoring, and complaining when asked to do something. Geez, you'd think I was asking him to scrub the floors with a toothbrush, but I'm talking the basics here: put away your knapsack, move that pile of papers out of the doorway, stop throwing Katrina's favorite toy for the 100th time.

So I took the chart idea to a new level, one that Positive Parenters will just love: a spank chart. Every mark on the chart means a spank he'll get before bed. Any rude comment, defiance, running out a countdown to do something he's been asked to do, flat-out disobeying, or initiating an obnoxious behavior, gets a mark.

I took a chance on this approach, expecting that the threat of a spank later would do its job, and it mostly did. No spanking necessary. I still hate that nearly every basic instruction I gave him was ignored or resisted until I warned it'd mean a mark on the chart, but at least after a warning, he complied.

Tonight we didn't set up a spank chart, but one a little more sophisticated than that: a consequence is listed on the chart, with N number of spaces before that consequence. N marks means that consequence is carried out. Unfortunately, I ran out of consequences between the two boys, and had to scramble to find others. Gabriel refused to set the table (his turn) and I ended up having him clean up a room that was on Julian's chart as a consequence, as Julian was still one mark away from that one. Then Julian offended again and I had to find something else to do. And then I had to redirect Gabriel again, and make him go right to bed for not even cleaning up that room. Once again, he defied me: after his bath and PJS, he came back down and finished cleaning up that room anyway....a sense order or more defiance? I let that one go. Later, I realized he mostly wanted to play the piano and was jonesing for some leniency, which he didn't get.

Neither Dave or I could wait for bedtime for all three. Some days, on balance, this parenthood thing is a loser.

11/6/09

11/5/09 Rehearsals

Last night after the kids were in bed, Dave asked me, "Does Julian have 'sharing' tomorrow?"

OH YEAH!!! OOPS! We're supposed to prepare and rehearse him for sharing, and have him bring something to show too.

Somehow, we pulled it off. This week it was about "family," so I printed out a picture of all five of us last night, then talked about family with Julian today as he was getting dressed. Since he'd seen Gabriel's "Star Of The Week" rehearsals, he knew what to say. In fact, I was pretty impressed at how quickly and easily he presented himself, especially given the very short notice -- we prepared all of this in the hectic minutes between getting up and leaving for school.

We practiced this morning after Dave left for work, with a complete audience.



After Julian's rehearsal, the boys got silly while Katrina had a fit about...who knows what. She had a lot of fits today.


After dropping boys off at school, I took Katrina to her favorite activity: "running in the mountains." We ran into a marathon runner and marathon mom I know from my other gym, who ran the Boston marathon 4 months pregnant with her 4th! She looked like quite the athlete, but I was very sorry to hear her tell me that back troubles have grounded her too, and she's no longer running marathons. "Too many babies!" she semi-joked.

Still, though my ankles let me know when we're approaching 5 miles, and my back informs me of its disapproval for days after a run, I'm grateful I can run as much as I can, and Katrina is too. We stopped for a potty break on today's 5.5-mile route, and Katrina enjoyed looking around at a dry pond and the wildlife.

(Though Katrina needs to learn to squat like a girl instead of pushing her hips forward like a boy when peeing in the woods -- which she insisted on because she wanted to do it "just like boys," -- I actually prefer woods to stinky scary port-a-potties. The woods are way WAY cleaner and way safer -- no horrible visions of her falling in.)



It's important to stretch at the end!


Just like my kids will grow up cooking with me and develop basic kitchen skills (I hope), they will also grow up thinking that exercise and stretching is just part of life (I hope).

After dinner (which Gabriel helped me make, delightful), time to rehearse Gabriel's book report presentation, due tomorrow. Yay! Then it's off our backs, though this book report was at most 1/10th the work of the previous one, and 100 times more enjoyable, and 1000 times more educational. I wasn't crazy about the clothespin doll thing, though it's intended to mark a spot in the book that they read from during the presentation.

I wasn't sure if it's OK to simply read the book report, which is 8 sentences (or more); it seems silly not to when it's that short anyway. The presentation is supposed to be under 2 minutes anyway.

Here's Gabriel presenting his report, which he wrote entirely himself with no help from me, except the first and last sentences, which he also wrote but I had him rewrite with guidance.


I have to say, this early emphasis on presenting in front of groups is really good, especially for kids not so inclined. I should practice too!

11/5/09

11/4/09 Networking

The things most on my mind today have to do with work....will I have a job offer from the company I'm contracting for? Will I accept it if I do get one?

Ironically, troubleshooting a home network problem (attaching a router we already had to the "plug-and-play" (uh-huh) Apple TimeCapsule, compounded with some wiring issues) has reminded me how much I like setting up and troubleshooting networks!

Then again, it's a lot more fun at home when I have two enthusiastic helpers. The boys, Gabriel especially, were riveted by the whole thing, even though much of network troubleshooting is really boring: repeating commands countless times, staring at screens in disbelief, searching for the right-length cable, throwing up your hands in disgust and surrender....all for those hard-won moments when the light bulb goes on and it works. As I'm working, I look for little jobs for them to do: plug something in, tell me when a light goes on, take a new Ethernet switch out of a box -- and to my amazement and delight, it doesn't take much to hold their interest. For three nights in a row now, Gabriel asks, "Mom, are we going to work on the router tonight?" He has absolutely no idea what I'm doing; he wants to "do electricity," but nothing I'm doing is at that level.

Still, I so appreciate both boys' enthusiasm, and I'm going to have to find more stuff like that to do with them. Wouldn't it be cool to put together a computer or something....

Well, aside from being reminded how much I liked my career (which had nothing to do with home networking), what's come of this is that the electrician will be back next week to straighten out yet more miswiring; I've figured out how to configure the routers (or get around the Apple's lack of configuration) -- and, ultimately, my final objective will be met: I'll be able to post caustic comments to Facebook from bed!

11/4/09

11/3/09 Broccoli Day

I don't know what's gotten into Katrina, but after yesterday's foray into broccoli, suddenly that's all she wants. She devoured three bowls of it today at lunch, practically cramming it into her mouth. Vitamin deficiency perhaps? Then that's all she would eat at dinner -- I'm not ready to tackle her chicken aversion yet.


(These videos are short and would appear to be dull, but the way she chows down, then demands more broccoli, has me tickled pink -- though she could use some work on her manners.)



Dave came home early and took over tantrum duty while Gabriel and I decorated a clothespin doll for his book report.


(Yes, clothespin doll -- WHAT A PAIN. Seriously; it's tiny meticulous work that a 2nd-grader is supposed to do?! I had to do most of the gluing and fine work on it, and all the finding materials; there was no way he could. And what does a clothespin have to do with a historical figure in United States history anyway?! I guess it's official: I really don't like sitting and doing craft projects with kids. I like doing my own projects, but not kid-projects....then again, as we were doing it, Gabriel said, "This is so fun to do with a parent. Having you here with me makes this OK, Mom." What a kid.)

Katrina changes her clothes at least 3 times a day now. The red shirt she was wearing this morning is a hand-me-down from Julian -- many of her long-sleeved shirts and all of her outerwear are boy hand-me-downs, but this afternoon she found the one dress in her dresser and put that on.

Katrina's system must be in total shock overload at this sudden major injection of vegetables -- but I'll take it!

11/3/09

11/2/09 Teacher conference

This morning, Dave and I met with Julian's teacher to talk about his kindergarten progress.

I was at the same time impressed and slightly horrified by all the testing and evaluation his poor teacher has to do with all the kids, and the absurdly high expectations, though it's certainly interesting. Their goal is for each kindergartner to write a simple paragraph by year's end. I think that's a pretty darned lofty goal for 5-year-olds! That's a lot to ask even of the very high demographic at Julian's school. His teacher did say she used to teach in lower-income areas, and it was a big difference teaching here, since the kids are well-prepared and have so much support at home. But, she also added that for the kids who are ready, the extra pushing is great for them and they enjoy it. And apparently, Julian is among those.

Teachers are careful to be tactful, especially around highly achievement-oriented Cupertino parents, but she did say, without exactly saying it, that Julian came into her class as its top reader ("now a few others are at his level and he has others to read with"). He makes good connections between lessons, applying concepts from one lesson to another area, and overall did great on the assessment tests. She showed us a few paragraphs he did write, with help, and I was so happy to see that two of them were about our trip to the airshow -- it was really on his mind beforehand, and again as a great experience afterward (despite the actual experience). Predictably, his biggest issue is putzing around and not getting work done, but he's improved a lot. Dave and I both came away with the impression, one we expected, that he's thriving.

Even though I really do believe kindergarten is just kindergarten and that most of what kids need out of it are the social aspects, I can't help but to be really proud of Julian.

11/2/09

11/1/09 A morning's morning

Despite a too-early start, it was a particularly fun morning. In theory on Sundays I should start breakfast early, because I make a big breakfast, but in practice, somehow Sunday mornings are just perfect to fold laundry. This morning, I watched a bit of a cooking show as I did my usual super-fast-sloppy job of folding, and various combinations of kids joined me. It's a BIG TREAT to sit on Mom and Dad's bed and watch cooking shows with Mom! (big treat for Mom especially)

Then when it came time to make breakfast, I discovered the ultimate horror for breakfast-makers: only 4 eggs. This would not do! Dave was busy with a very very important task: de-tantruming Katrina on his computer, so I zoomed out to the store to get eggs and maybe some heartier French Toast bread, as I had a special request for such. Special Requester, my firstborn, was insistent on joining me, and we had a surprisingly fun time grocery shopping....?! Then Gabriel helped me make breakfast. He's just taller enough than Julian that he doesn't need a footstool for all tasks, a big convenience. I give him more and more responsibility in the kitchen, and he's actually starting to save me some work. And, he still thinks it's fun. For me, it's an absolute blast to be engaged in a project like this with him, he's so enthusiastic and joyful and brings so much energy to it.

I already posted this to Facebook, but once again, my usually casual and not super-sensitive son floored me with one of his direct, poignant, deadpan statements, devoid of sentiment but utterly sincere: "This is one pleasant morning, isn't it." There are few higher moments for a mom than that.

11/1/09

10/31/09 Halloween night

A full day -- and not just because of Halloween!

There were no shortage of Halloween things to do today, but I really didn't have the energy for them. Besides, the boys had their last swim lesson (sniff!), and then I went running -- my first "real" long run in a long time (over 7 miles). After getting home, a long bath, a short nap, I was in no mood for another pumpkin patch or costume parade. And no one objected to that at all.

Plenty of Halloween cheer abounded about the house anyway. Katrina just loves singing the songs she learns in preschool -- just not at preschool.


Then Julian and Katrina and I decorated the front porch, with our paltry assembly of Halloween decorations.


Julian got a "pie pumpkin" from school, so I figured we should make a pie out of it. This was really a scratch pie -- I cut open and roasted the pumpkin, I made the pastry dough (a new thing for me), and Julian made the filling -- with lots of help, but he did absolutely everything physically possible.

He read the recipe.


He measured spices.


He mixed the filling!


And uncharacteristically, I forgot to get a picture of the finished pie. Rats.

Meantime, Dave and Gabriel were off on a real mountain bike ride, a relatively new thing. Real terrain, not just a confined BMX park. Gabriel was so-so on the experience, but mountain biking without a mountain bike is pretty hard -- he only has one gear.



Then, dinner, costumes, and trick-or-treating! First, a note on dinner, because this has never happened before: Katrina ATE BROCCOLI. And even asked for more! She didn't even choke it down, she just ate it like it was nothing, because she wanted another chicken dinosaur (a frozen chicken nugget -- ick, but it's from Whole Foods, so it must be good for you, right?) Her refusal to try it so far has been entirely on principle, not taste, as she'd never tasted it. I'm glad that I've always persisted in putting a small amount of vegetable on her plate no matter what, so it's always on her radar. Not that this is a trend yet, but few things make Mom happier than hearing her toddler ask, "Mommy, can I please have more broccoli?"

Ready to comb the neighborhood!


At a neighbor's door. Katrina got the hang of it pretty well and had a great time. Last year, we had to bring her home early because she got into a snit about something or other.


I had fun trick-or-treating; it's a great way to reconnect with neighbors, and the kids were all having a great time. (Dave stayed home and manned our candy handouts.) And, since everyone had their broccoli, they got to eat a fair amount of candy when we got home (after I'd combed the peanut products out of Katrina's bag...I've got to get her tested).

Candy, schmandy....I couldn't quit nibbling on the lightest, tastiest, most delightful pumpkin pie I've ever had. I will definitely be making it again, and it will hereby forever be known as "Julian's Pumpkin Pie." No, better yet, "Julian's Halloween Pumpkin Pie."

10/31/09