5/11/2010 Kid Rock

Some weeks ago, Julian and I did an open garden tour, in which people open up their yards and gardens to the public, ones that feature California Native plants.

I made sure Julian stayed on walkways, but at one place, a kind lady pointed out a big rock to him. "See that rock there? We put that there for my granddaughter, who's just about your age. It's a kid rock. Go ahead, play on it!" And he did. Who knew a big old boulder rock could be such fun.


And now, we have our own rocks in our landscape. Julian immediately called them "kid-rocks," though none of them are really big enough to qualify, but that didn't stop him and his siblings from climbing on them.

They're more than fun, they're very very eye-catching, since they introduce new levels and texture to the landscape. I love looking at them.

In order not to interfere with the flow of the project, nor to introduce any contract/pricing complications, I'm keeping my custom requests to a minimum. This includes the plants, which on the whole are not as California-native-y as I'd like. For matters of function, like screening our neighbor's clothesline, I do make direct requests, but for a general planting area, I'm giving the designer free rein.

After all, there's a reason we have a professional doing this -- because I don't know anything. I might even develop a fondness for the flax plants (the spiky purply plants, like the one behind the far boulder in the photo below), that I'm overall not crazy about.


But what a fun problem to have, after so many years of a rough, barely-controlled, eyesore of a yard. "Hmm, I think I'd like a sticky monkey flower there!" And I have a place to go plant one, that's irrigated and isn't surrounded by major projects staring at me from every angle.

Our landscaping is still a long ways off from done, but having so much less darned lawn (in fact none at all right now), gives the kids so so much more to do. Julian and Katrina spent quite a bit of time sweeping under the future arbor last weekend.


And Gabriel, never the gushiest of people in the world, does a lot of gazing out the window now at the variety of plantlife and trees. "This landscaping is really pretty Mom!"

Still, I think we need to find a spot for a nice big kid-rock.

5/11/2010

5/10/2010 School photos

And to think, I almost didn't shell out $20 per kid on "spring" photos at school. I hate how we end up feeling guilted into this twice a year. One portrait at the beginning of school and the class photo is enough. Yet, I can never resist more photos. Since, you know, I just don't have enough of these children.

These are SO dorky they cross over into adorable!

And this unexpected treat from Katrina's school for Mother's Day. This is really a sweet shot. It doesn't really look like Katrina, but I love how she's looking off to the side, the flowers in the background, and a very natural smile.


5/10/2010

5/8/2010 Landscape progress

T-ball and ice-skating morning, single parent. Whee! Drop-off at ice-skating, drop-off at T-ball, pickup at ice-skating, pickup at T-ball, then back to the same mall where the skating rink is to buy shoes.

T-ball never fails to delight however.




Team photos arrived! HOW CUTE. Love it.


Plants are going in!! Still lots of carpentry and work to do, but...plants are going in!


Now you just want to sit and gaze outside.


I love this beautiful Japanese Maple, but I'm not sure about its location right in front of this window. It's in the design, it's a perfect tree for that area, it gives the screening we need for that huge window. But now that it's there, I keep wanting to move it to the left a few feet. Especially from the inside of the house, it needs to block the angled view from the driveway, not the straight-on view. From the outside, the tree distracts from the very central aesthetic element of the window.

I'll talk to the designer about it.

Overall, I'm stunned. Our property looks completely different with plants and trees and landscaping. I mean it -- never has a transformation been so dramatic. Paradise has descended upon our little corner of suburbia.

5/8/2010

5/7/2010 Mom's Day Tea

Today I had a very important appointment -- and I'm not talking about my 8:30 conference call and WebEx with engineers in Boston and Denver, nor the 10:00 project management meeting I was supposed to run. I'm talking about the 11:30 Mother's Day Tea that Julian's class put on. I finished out the Webex, cancelled the 10:00, and ditched two Ops technicians who'd escalated a problem. My 11:30 appointment could not be missed.

It was very sweet; they had all done a poster and a card, and had snacks and tea and lemonade. Julian's card said that he loves me because I make him laugh, which I just loved. (It's true, I love making him laugh with silly notes in his lunch, like "yesterday I forgot your note -- that makes me a goat!" He loves those. Seems I have a talent for 6-year-old-level humor.)


Julian persuaded me to take him home with me after his Tea; I was planning to go home anyway after the Tea because I felt horrible today (still do). Time alone with one of them is quite precious, so I agreed. I hung on while running a few errands with him, then we went home where I pretty much lay down the rest of the afternoon. But even if I was completely bedridden all day, I'd still have made it to the Tea.

Dave's in L.A. this weekend, welcoming Laura HOME!

5/7/2010

5/6/2010 SB 1381

SB 1381 -- a proposed law in California that would move the kindergarten cutoff date back from Dec. 2nd to Sep. 1st. That is, a child must turn 5 by Sep. 1st to start kindergarten that year.

Can they please, please PLEASE wait a year?! Believe it or not, I'm planning to register Katrina for kindergarten in 10 months. But if they move the cutoff date back, with her Oct. 5th birthday she'd have to wait another year. Instead of being among the youngest in the class, she'd be among the oldest, turning 6 just a few weeks into her kindergarten year.

How does this affect parents planning for pre-K in the fall? For us, it doesn't exactly matter since she's in childcare full-time anyway, but other parents don't put their kids in preschool until pre-K. That's a lot of planning -- and now is the time to plan for pre-K. But you can't plan for pre-K if you can't plan for K.

I really don't need to worry about this right now....oh I hope this law holds off for 11 more months. The preschool world is very sweet, but another year and a half is plenty -- not another two and a half years. And having her another grade behind will affect us for years.

5/6/2010

5/5/2010 The Jungle

Look what's appeared in our backyard today!!


This surely indicates that the landscaping project is in its final stages. Plants are here! There's still a lot of carpentry and cleanup to do (arbors, gates, fences), but the hardscaping and irrigation are almost done, and that's the big stuff. I can't believe it: no more neighborhood eyesore!!

Gabriel has turned a new developmental milestone. This is one I really can't be that happy about, as it's really a step toward puberty. My little boy! Are you ready for this? He smells. SMELLS! Like, smelly pits. He needs deodorant!! It seems he's inherited the "Doudna smell" that only in-laws notice. Dave's family never used deodorant, and while they weren't offensive, they were noticeable. Dave too had an introduction to Speed Stick when we first got together, and is now well below the socially acceptable threshhold. And now it seems Gabriel has inherited this tendency. My 8-year-old smelly-pits boy!

Mr. Smelly Pits continues to raise the bar for the sort of trouble he gets into at school. Today he lost recess and had to write a sentence 25 times, and got a note home to us too. He was defiant and unrepentant when we talked to him about it, angry at the consequences (no dessert until he gets 4 cat stamps on his daily behavior contract). As usual with Gabriel, applying consequences only escalates the situation, and he was difficult and resistant every step of the way tonight.

"Gabriel, please go set the table now."
"Why don't you just set the table yourself?" (twice)

"Gabriel, what's this about inappropriate language in school?"
"Don't you KNOW what 'inappropriate' means?!"

"Why am I not allowed to punish *you*?"

In the end, he got it in the end...the rear end. And after hours of struggle and making everyone miserable, he finally, finally broke down and dropped the defiant attitude. I wish it didn't have to come to that, but after it's done, I wish we'd done it hours earlier. I'd love to see a positive-parenting supernanny tackle him with timeouts and redirection. Good luck to that one.

All this coming off one of the most disturbing nightmares I've ever had. I recognize these as migraine-related, but the hours of blues that follow are very very real. I was in a small apartment in a city for some reason, with Gabriel, and some horrible trauma occurred that killed him and spread gore all over the apartment. I was paralyzed with shock, muted by grief, unable to cry hard enough in my horror. I'd just lost Gabriel and the world was a black, sick, toxic place. I stumbled outside and tried to put myself in a garbage can, then noticed a friend and thought he wouldn't understand.

A litany of thoughts about myself, my identity flew through my mind.
I'm no longer a mother of three.
I'm no longer a mother of two boys.
I no longer have an 8-year-old boy.

Massive identity crisis on the heels of the greatest loss my psyche could ever suffer. But mostly, I pictured Gabriel happily bopping along, kicking a soccer ball or sitting and humming while he draws a circuit diagram, feeling his presence so closely, and then heartbroken and devastated to the core that this bright light, this powerful energy, was gone from my life. It was too much to bear or think of, and I felt like my body would break in two.

I woke up with a start and didn't realize right away what had happened. All I knew was complete, overwhelming, crushing horror. I looked around my room and slowly started to understand: it was only a dream. A horrible, devastating, tragic dream, with all the tar and desolation still oppressing me. The rescue let relief seep in, but little joy. I had just experienced the worst possible thing that could ever happen, and there was no joy in that.

Seriously shaken, I stumbled out of bed to go to my son. I held his hand and looked at his face and listened to him breathe with tears streaming down my face. He was there. He was alive and just as strong and real as ever. Thank God.

But the near miss had me blue and on the verge of tears all day. He was never more than a thought or two away, and I was anxious to see him again after work, and be near him and feel his life and energy. And I felt it all right, in full force, with his defiant rudeness, his defensive stance, his impudence and verbal aggression. But that's Gabriel, always just barely reasonable, willing to take on a fight if it proves his point -- or even if it doesn't.

Perhaps it's because of his super toughness that I'm so intensely attached to him. Perhaps it's because of that toughness -- he doesn't need much from other people emotionally, including me, but he does need me. Perhaps it's because of just how much I need him. It's not just my world that would fall apart without him -- the world would fall apart without him.

And now, let's hope for a better day tomorrow, for Mom's heart, and for Gabriel's teacher's sanity. Gabriel will be just fine.

5/5/2010

5/4/2010 Sandwich Set

Julian and Katrina raided the garage for put-away toys, and found this adorable "sandwich set," a gift from Laura and Ryan some years ago. I don't know why preparing food is such a fun game, but Julian loved it when he was a toddler, and now Katrina loves it too.

This kept her busy while we waited for Dave to bring home our take-out dinner. This is rare for us, but I had an extra incentive. Today was a Community Day, sponsored by the "Their Future Is Now" grass-roots campaign to raise money to save 115 teachers' jobs in our school district next year. I'm not optimistic this will succeed, but I'm impressed at the enthusiasm and tenacity shown by the parents behind it. So it's really the least we can do to do take-out on Community Day, and Baja Fresh will contribute 20% of what we spent there to the campaign.

So while I got a pass on preparing food tonight, Katrina was playing food!

5/4/2010

5/3/2010 Maestro

Our electronic piano is still a staple of entertainment around here, with each kid going on and out of phases of playing on it -- and each kid with their own way of playing on it!


5/3/2010

5/2/2010 Book Reduction

Tons of work today, cleaning up the boys' room (that is, keeping after them for them to clean it up), but reducing and condensing the junk they have on shelves too. We really should do this on a regular basis, but no, it builds up. This sounds crazy to say, but the boys still had a lot of board books in their room, mostly because that's just where the best bookshelf was. Even Katrina is pretty much done with board books. It was a ton of work clearing out books and old toys and reducing their storage to one bookshelf each, but it was long overdue. Next, desks.

5/2/2010

5/1/2010 Haircuts

The boys have been long, long overdue for haircuts. Katrina wanted to come with us, then she said she wanted a haircut too. So hey, what the heck, why not! I did a lousy job on her bangs last time anyway.

Before. This is my new favorite picture of all three, with Katrina refusing to cooperate. That's just so....her.


A perfect opportunity for a "no evil" shot!


She did fine with the actual haircutting though.


After. I wish all 3 ended up with shorter cuts, but, whatever.


Another double-sports morning! I had to leave Julian's T-ball game before it was over to take Gabriel to a skating lesson, but before that, I had a great time hanging out at the game with Gabriel.

Before the game, the kids needed a few minutes of entertainment while the coach set up for the game. A Dad took the whole team running down the field, which was soooo cute.


I'd have happily volunteered to do this, except for two things. One, any parent interacting with the team is supposed to have a background check first, according to Little League rules, which I haven't done yet. I'm not sure if that rule applies to pre-game practice, but I haven't made myself entirely available to the team yet, partly because of that, and partly I really can't be dependable yet. Any parent who has a younger sibling to deal with on a regular basis really can't be there 100%.

Also, last Wednesday, I had a near miss with my back. I was getting up from the floor at the end of a weights class, and felt a telltale pull in the wrong place. Nothing at all like my usual back blowouts, but the similarity is unmistakable. Sitting on hard surfaces is uncomfortable, and if I sit too long, my feet start to buzz. This kept me from running on Friday, and, apparently, from butting in on the pre-game fun today.

Trick back notwithstanding, I still greatly enjoyed watching. Here's Julian batting.


Julian played first base for a while today. (There was a reason for that, I found later.)


Some video of a perfectly typical "play" in T-ball. All the plays are like this: the batter bats, the kids pile up to get the ball, the winner throws to the first baseman while the batter runs to first base, the first baseman throws home to the catcher. They're all like this, in fact. (That's Julian at first base -- the kid always pulling his pants up.)

Almost all like this -- last week, a teammate at first base actually caught the ball. That's extremely rare!

Well, unless someone outside the game handles the ball. I was a little annoyed about another kid allowed to participate in the game, fielding the ball when it went out of bounds. Looks benign, but after a few plays I could see this affected how Julian played. He knew the kid was there, and would hesitate and wait for the kid to get the ball and toss it to him.

The times Gabriel's been on the periphery with a glove, I've given him very very strict instructions not to touch the ball or get in the way of the players at all.

Julian got this week's "Spirit Award," mostly because he hasn't had it yet -- and that's why he was placed at first base. In T-ball, the first baseman is guaranteed some action.

Overall I don't like the modern trend of awards given for just participation, but this is a little different. The "spirit" award is like a rotating MVP award, that the kids have to return at the next game for the next player. But really, all of T-ball is about getting kids interested and having fun and staying encouraged when they're this age. Everyone bats, everyone gets on base, everyone runs home, no score is kept -- and every team member gets acknowledged at some point. Real MVP awards come later, with real baseball.

Real baseball is a ways off, but T-ball is an essential first step. Meantime, the kids are learning about teamwork and sportsmanship and cheering for teammates, and that's what the Spirit Award is about.

And meantime, I continue to be startled at how much I'm liking this!

5/1/2010

4/29/2010 T-ball game

T-ball after school/work today!

Somehow, we got there early, and had time to watch some older boys practicing. Gabriel and Julian were very impressed at how hard the boys swung the bat, and that the coach gave them real overhand pitches. It was pretty impressive.


I still amaze myself at how much I enjoy these T-ball games. Everyone's having fun, but it's not just fun. I mean, it IS all fun, but there's learning and structure and teamwork going on too. Julian's team had a new boy today, who didn't know where first base was and didn't know to turn when he reached a base. A few weeks ago, no one on our team knew that either, and now they're all experts.

The coaches have also figured out how to keep the kids from hanging on the backstop while they're waiting to bat: give them a "dugout." Our team's dugout was a blue blanket; the other teams' dugout was a bunch of 5-gallon plastic paint cans turned upside-down to sit on.


Katrina and Gabriel played together happily during Julian's game, thank heavens.


Meantime, I watched a kid on the opposing team catch two fly balls. This doesn't happen in T-ball! He could also bat really really well, run really really fast, and throw really, really far and accurately. His coach told me he's also very encouraging to his teammates, and always pays attention and is completely alert during the games. Somebody call the scouts!

I love rooting for both teams, or rather, for kids on both teams. When the play starts getting more competitive, will it take some of the fun out? I don't know; it was really interesting to see some actual skill, while at the same time, it was also really cute to see the new boy trotting out to left field in his quest for first base.

On weekday game nights, Dave meets us at the park and stays with the kids to the end of the game, while I zip home to get dinner started. I think I have the losing end of the deal; I'd much rather stay and watch. Fewer things about motherhood have surprised me more than how much I like watching T-ball. I'm sure my experienced baseball-mom friends can tell me down to the minute when that wears off...but until then, I'll just enjoy it.

4/29/2010

4/27/2010 Circuit artwork

Every day when I pick the boys up from the CDC, Gabriel has a new circuit drawing in his hand. At home, when he's not bouncing off the walls and tormenting Julian, he's sitting studiously on his floor, studying his Getting Started In Electronics book, and making yet more drawings from it. This is really a nice book -- entirely hand-written! Like, published in someone's handwriting. It's got nice illustrations and is very accessible to kids.

I'm not sure how much of this Gabriel is learning from the book, or from Dave, but he's also learning about AND, OR, XOR gates and their negatives, and the logic behind them.

Tonight he got all upset because one of his latest creations got torn, so I promised him I'd tape it up, giving me an opportunity to scan it.

This is what my borderline 2nd-grade behavior problem does in most of his free waking moments.


He's also been learning basic binary arithmetic, or at least writing things down that makes it look like he's learning it. No, correction, I asked him, and indeed, he really does seem to understand how to make numbers in binary. Dave's been teaching him, and he practices.


Though much of what he says or draws isn't technically correct yet, he's certainly got a lot of the vocabulary and a lot of the groundwork, and ton of interest. I think it will come together correctly someday -- most likely without my even knowing it! I can't tell when his rattling off of electronics terms is right or wrong. Fortunately Dave knows and can correct him and discuss something, though Gabriel will get into states when he dogs Dave with nonstop questions.

This is no passing phase. Every day, he has one or two new drawings of some or other circuit, for a burglar alarm, a radio-controlled car IC, a jet airplane's wing lights. They're all over the house. He's only 8, but it's getting hard to imagine how he won't be an engineer of some sort.

4/27/2010

4/26/2010 Out tonight

Can't talk now, off to a friend's house after a hectic -- I mean normal -- evening w/the family.

Dave astutely observed that with a round table with 3 kids and 2 adults, there is no way to separate all 3 children. We need a 3rd adult here at all times.

4/26/2010

4/25/2010 Pacific Coast Dream Machines

Today was the annual Pacific Coast Dream Machines vehicle show -- cars, motorcycles, aircraft, many vintage, and this year, a tank. Right up our alley!

Unfortunately, once again, I didn't go. Fortunately, this year, I had a great reason: a good friend's baby shower. She's expecting twins -- I couldn't miss that! It was really nice and fun and relaxing (the fruit and wine spritzers might have had something to do with that), I really enjoyed it.

Meanwhile, Dave braved the traffic to the Half Moon Bay Airport with all 3 kids in tow. Not easy! The boys are no trouble really, but Katrina....well, being past diapers and naps improves things, but she's still very tantrumy and unpredictable, and has a strong capacity to ruin an outing for everyone. And being stuck with a stroller is no fun either. Still, Dave managed fine with the kids, though decided against going to the section with the aircraft, as it was the furthest away.

If I'd been there, we'd have made a beeline for the B-25 Mitchell bomber, the plane instrumental in the morale-boosting Doolittle Raid on Tokyo during WWII -- heavy bombers actually flown off an aircraft carrier. This incident was featured in the movie Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo, which includes a few seconds of actual footage of the B-25s flying off the aircraft carrier Hornet. I've seen the movie and it was so-so, but the footage was not to be missed.

Anyway. WWII bombers will be around for a little while longer, but welcoming a friend into the world of 3 kids -- that's really un-missable. The baby shower was hosted at the home of another friend who also has 3 kids, also via twins, so she's especially well-suited to the event. 3 kids definitely puts you in a different category of parents, if nothing else because your car choices suddenly change, and your plan of having them all in their own rooms either means no office, or having at least a 5BR house. Even in our 5-6 bedroom house (depending on how you count), the boys will likely always share a room.

The morning for me started off with another first: I went swimming and running. Neither the swim nor the run were anywhere close to my usual standards; the swim hampered by lane closures and leaky goggles; the run curtailed by having persuaded a non-running friend to join me and discovering he really meant it when he said he's not a runner. Still, an interesting experience that gives me new respect for triathletes. Especially those who have 3 kids.

No photos today....how did that happen??

4/25/2010

4/24/2010 Sports Morning

Busy sports morning.

First, Julian's T-ball game, the first in a while since there was no T-ball during the spring break, and then this week's weekday game was rained out. I think the coaches were pretty happy to see the kids again!

Julian rounds out second base.


I alternated between watching and playing catch with Gabriel, which I really enjoyed. I was almost disappointed when the T-ball game was over -- I wasn't ready to leave this idyllic little scene of happy children and sunny fields, having a nice morning playing ball with my boys! (Thank goodness Katrina was at home with Dave, she really saps the fun out of hanging around T-ball, especially since she freaks out at dogs, and there's a dog-training class going on at the same time.)

One kid gets the "spirit award" each week (sort of MVP). Julian hasn't gotten it yet, but the coaches are always dead-on about who earned it. This week's winner (far left) is really not that talented athletically, and tends to be kind of a mess frankly, but he's improved more than any other, and really did well today.


In fact, the MVP and Julian actually made a play together: Julian fielded the ball, threw it to first base, and this kid caught it! That's the first time I've seen a T-baller actually catch a ball in a game!


Right after T-ball, I took Gabriel to a skating lesson. We'd gone last week for the first (free) lesson, when a teacher would evaluate him and determine which level he was. A young woman did a quick check when he first got on the ice, and he wasn't ready, he fell, couldn't skate backward, was thrown off by the chopped-up ice and the crowds, since he was used to his hockey lessons. Still, I was surprised that she put him in "intro," with the brand-new never-skated group. Intro, really? Fortunately the intro teacher figured out within about 5 minutes that he belonged in a different class, and moved him to "pre-alpha."

Still, even in pre-alpha, it looks to me like he outskates most of his class. Today, like last week, when the class skates in circles, he skates circles around it, literally. And falls too.


I try not to helicopter-parent, but it is frustrating how difficult it is to communicate with the teachers, and rely on them to make changes. Gabriel's teacher clearly notices that he's skating differently, and that he's always messing around on his own, and is much much faster than his classmates. But, the teacher has 14 other skaters (all girls!) and doesn't seem inclined to make a change. Next week, I'm just going to take him to the higher-level class, which starts half an hour earlier, and let that teacher say he's not ready if he's not.

This is all figure-skating, which I'd thought wouldn't matter at his level -- he still needs the basics. But now I think it does matter: hockey classes have very very different exercises in how to learn to skate as compared to a figure-skating class. We'll do this series, and he'll get something out of it, but he's already too far gone on hockey skating to go too far down the road of figure skating.

Suddenly I have a new appreciation for what I'd thought were lame hockey classes! I'd thought it was a problem that he was the worst skater in hockey classes, and here I am complaining even more that he's the best skater in a figure-skating class!

Katrina doesn't have any organized activities these days, but she does enjoy walking along our new seat wall, especially wearing darling new girl-clothes that a friend so kindly passed down to us.


4/24/2010

4/22/2010 Bring Your Kids To Work Day

Last-minute decision: ditch work, go pull my son out of daycare and bring him to "Take Your Kids to Work Day!" This was the child, after all, who when completely unprepared for his sharing presentation on "Profession," announced he wanted to be a network engineer without having any idea what that was. Primarily because we'd forgotten about his Sharing Day and he wasn't prepared at all. But that's how he winged it.

Two guys I work with and like a lot had set up some "educational" activities for the kids, so I was glad to make my own contribution of an audience member. Gabriel was home sick, but I couldn't have brought him anyway because he wouldn't have been out of school in time. Many parents had timing issues with naps for the youngest ones, and school for the older ones, so Julian was among the oldest.

He had a great time though. First they passed messages around.


Then they went looking for balloons around the building that were of a particular color. I think this was to demonstrate the concept of network packet finding its destination, but without a routing table the concept was lost. Mostly the kids had fun looking for balloons. It was very interesting seeing which adults are total naturals with kids.

They also got a "van tour," which they loved. One of our field techs showed them how to make a cable and put together a jack box, and then let them keep them. Julian was very very proud of his little box and cable (the cable plugs into the box).


Incredibly, Julian sat quietly next to me and drew during a meeting in which I was supposed to present something. It was very informal, fortunately, and mostly talking rather than "presenting," thank goodness because presenting is not in my top 10 of professional skills. But Julian helped me keep my screen alive, and pushed the down-arrow on my laptop to bring up the next PowerPoint slide. He was really darling. (Unfortunately the evening did not end well when I made a very powerful threat against his catapulting couscous into the air again, and was forced to carry out that powerful threat, powerfully, when once again the end of the spoon got whacked and the food went flying.)

Julian commented many times how small my office is. I think a tour of cubicles and offices and conference rooms and meeting is a fine way to create an artist!

4/22/2010

4/21/2010 Table and chairs

It took over 3 months, but FINALLY -- our new dining table and chairs were delivered today!!


We had to get a round table to fit this strange space, but couldn't get one at Pottery Barn or other common sources, because most round tables are 48" diameter. That's tight for a family of five on a regular basis, especially when that family includes two young boys who need to be kept as far apart as possible. Other places had 54" round tables, but without a leaf to extend it. So we had to order one, which was expensive and took a long time. But I love them. The chairs especially are super comfortable, and upholstered, finally. Upholstered chairs! So civilized!

The one chair with arms in the corner is mine.

It's staying light later these days, which hasn't been a bedtime problem yet, but is presenting a big time-to-come-in-for-dinnertime problem. Never mind that letting them play outside to begin with is a big problem too, with the landscaping going on.

Tonight I let Katrina play out front, since Gabriel was out there too kicking a soccer ball around (even though he had a 100-degree temperature and can't go to school tomorrow). She did not approve of having to come back inside.


Landscaping is reaching a stage in which it feels like progress is very slow and it will go on forever, and I see many many weeks of work ahead. But things like this seat wall -- which isn't completely done -- give me hope.

I absolutely love how this path meanders around in front of the bay window (leaving a planting area to gain some privacy in front of the window), and the wall follows it. I love the color of the wall, but it doesn't match the pathway as our designer had recommended. Though I like the color, I now think the designer was right that it should have matched the pathway. Whatever. I'm such an expert at getting over stuff from our big remodel, this is nothing.

A round table, curved paths...I'm glad to go off the straight and narrow!

4/21/2010

4/20/2010 Daddy's Girl

This doesn't happen often: all 5 of us together at the island, at the same time. And it won't again: our new table and chairs are supposed to be delivered tomorrow!

Katrina does love her Dad though -- and sitting next to him.




Thank goodness, Gabriel did fine on his field trip today. What a relief.

4/20/2010

4/19/2010 The Contract

Tomorrow, Gabriel's class goes on a field trip to a nearby arts center to see The Magic Flute. Fun, huh? Yes, unless Gabriel's along. His behavior in school, and on the last field trip, were so bad that we give him permission to go right away.

Unfortunately, the criteria I'd planned to use to decide if he could go -- which was his behavior in school -- was taken away by school being closed last week. It was too hard to come up with clear criteria at home, unless I gave him a specific job or something, which he could easily do and it would have no effect on his behavior.

With a normal kid, you can take something major away, and it'd have that magical "and they never did it again..." effect. That's never happened with Gabriel; applying consequences usually backfires and escalates. Seeing The Magic Flute would be a really nice thing for him to do, his behavior has been OK -- not great, but OK -- and due to our recent discombobulation with Dave being away and school being out, we haven't been crystal-clear on how he can "earn" back this privilege, if there is such a thing.

So we decided to let him go after all, but his permission slip will be something of a contract. Tomorrow morning, he has to sign this before we will. I don't know how much good it will do, but at least his teachers will know that we're 99% woos's instead of 100%.

I, _____________________________________, promise to behave and listen to the teachers and volunteer parents on today’s field trip. This includes, but is not limited to: No rude noises, no unacceptable words, no out-of-turn talking, no running away from the group, no requiring extra attention. I will do as requested without being told more than once.

______________________________
Gabriel Doudna


I understand and agree that any reports of less than PERFECT behavior on this field trip will result in:

1) The loss of allowance for TWO weeks
2) No computer game time for TWO weeks
3) No dessert for ONE week
4) Folding and putting away my sister’s laundry for TWO weekends.

______________________________
Gabriel Doudna

I promise I will be good today on today’s field trip to Montalvo Arts Center.

______________________________
Gabriel Doudna


I give permission for my child, Gabriel Doudna, to go on the field trip to Montalvo Arts Center today April 20, 2010, as he has agreed to cooperate with teachers and parents this time.


___________________________________________________
David Doudna

Someday, maybe, the school year won't start off with us warning the teacher about his iron-clad personality, that he doesn't respond to discipline or consequences or reprimands like regular kids, and that we'll be in touch frequently about behavior, that....and it won't end with the teacher saying carefully, "wow...you were right..."

4/19/2010

4/18/2010 Garden Tour

How nice. There was an open garden tour around the Bay Area today, in which people volunteer to open up their homes and yards for the general public to view. Nurseries selling plants set up stands, or even a display of plants to buy, at some of the houses too. Some houses give talks, and numerous volunteers are at each house to guide and ask questions.

This garden tour focused on "native" gardens, meaning, emphasizing plants that are native to California (if not exactly this region), or similar climates such as parts of Australia. The idea is slow-growing low-water-needs plants, that after they're established, need only occasional watering to get through dry times. This is a big difference from vast water-intensive lawns.

The part that caught my eye in the paper was that the boys' elementary school is on the tour this year, as apparently it too has a native garden. However, we skipped that one because I can see it anytime!

I took Julian and Katrina to a garden a block away from her preschool, and what an absolutely lovely beautiful place it was. Flowery, diverse, shady...the one word I wouldn't use to describe a "native" garden is "lush," but I don't miss it.





They don't tend to be manicured or brightly-colored either -- no pansy banks here. But I really, really like this sort of planting. And, how handy, we get to do this soon!

Katrina, typically, was something of a liability, wanting me to carry her, then picking off flowers she liked, then not wanting to leave. Julian, typically, was very interested, reading all the signs describing the plants, calling me over to show me some new discovery. I wasn't about to let this little diva horn in on my date, so, I dropped her back home and carried on with just Julian. That was fun, I relish time alone with any of them, but this is right up Julian's alley.

We saw three more gardens, mostly front ones, but still just as pretty, and just as accessible. This isn't looking at English gardens with a staff maintaining it; the whole point is to be low-maintenance. One lady told Julian that a rock in the midst of the garden was put there just for kids, and invited him to go play on it.


This time of year, the orange poppies are out, and they're dazzling. I'd like to know what they look like the other 54 weeks of the year, but I'll ask that part later.


It's hard to believe that sometime this year, our yard will no longer be an eyesore, a blank slate, an embarrassment, or a jobsite. It's a mess right now, but someday, someday soon, it might actually be a garden.

4/18/2010

4/16/2010 Putzy puck boys

I often scan the newspaper while having dinner -- it used to be that this was considered bad manners at the family table, but thanks to iPhones and Blackberrys, newspapers are now off the hit list of dividing families. Tonight, Gabriel picked up the San Jose Mercury News, and instead of going to the comics, he wanted to read the sports columnist. Sports column, really? From there he learned -- and I learned -- that our "local" hockey team is in the playoffs, and that there was a game tonight. In fact, puck drops in about 7 minutes.

"CAN WE WATCH MOM?!"

I never miss an opportunity to get them off their duffs. "OK, but only AFTER bath and teeth-brushing."

Gabriel was bathed, brushed, and PJ'd before the first face-off. This is nothing short of miraculous for a kid who can take 15 minutes just to take off his shoes. It's really remarkable how fast he can move when he decides that's what he wants to do. He's unbearably putzy and spacey most nights, but not this one. Julian only missed a few minutes of the game too. I like how hockey motivates kids.

However, I'm not that nice. I didn't want a nightmare of exhausted kids tomorrow, so, after (a very exciting!) first period, off to bed for boys.

I wonder, if they watched more TV at home, would it lose its power, or gain more, in motivating them?

4/16/2010

4/15/2010 Tax Day

I'm not sure what to do with myself: an evening without the crushing pressure of filing taxes?! Amazing. But, all that does is let the crushing pressure of everything else rush back in. And I'm still not feeling well, fighting something in my stomach for almost 2 weeks now. Too bad, because I finally have time to do ... well, something. Gridlock!

No, it's clear what to do: finish putting this together to send to SoCal:


(loving art courtesy Julian)

4/15/2010

4/14/2010 Done!

WHAT A PAIN. But it's done. I really resent how difficult and complex tax-filing is; and that's with relatively straightforward situations. The trauma and aggravation can be set aside for a year, and I can be a Mom again tomorrow.

4/14/2010