8/3/2010 Chin-bonk

"I think he needs stitches," said the Splash Camp director. I didn't know how to answer; the camp director sounded so young and unsure itself. The camp director continued, "He's sitting next to me, he isn't crying and it's not bleeding...but I think he needs to be seen."

I called our pediatricians, whose phone-answering medical assistant wouldn't tell me anything until I'd gotten to Julian and had a chance to look myself. As if I'm any expert. I had to wait almost 10 minutes on hold when I did get to Julian and see his wound (and agreed with the young camp director). Then it took 2 minutes to drive to a nearby urgent care center.

He'd jumped into the pool in a strange way, trying to do one of his spin-things as he jumped. Apparently he'd rotated just enough so that if clearing the pool edge was in question, his chin would be the first to get it. And did. So, urgent care clinic, here we come.

Band-aid in the waiting area.


The doc (P.A.) stitches him up, after slathering a numbing agent across the wound and then injecting it with Novacaine.


Six in all, though the doc used small stitches and very thin suture thread so as to minimize facial scarring.


Julian never cried or complained through the whole thing, quite the trooper! My guess is that the pain and discomfort comes later.

Someone had to break the impasse -- so far, we've had no broken bones, no casts, not even any stitches! It had to happen sooner or later.

8/3/2010

8/2/2010 Swim Camp

Somehow before the summer, in my ongoing aggravation about slow swim learning, I decided to sign the boys up for Splish Splash camp, a weeklong Y daycamp that would emphasize swimming every day. Learning by immersion, sink or swim, one lesson every day -- maybe that would give them the jump-start (or "sink in") they'd need to kick off actual swimming. I've been discouraged again with the slow progress at DACA, which Gabriel has now quit and the other two only have one month left of, and hoped that the Y camp would kick-start things.

No dice. The boys reported today that they were split into very broad groups, by kids saying if they could swim or not, and then had what they described as a lame 45-minute lesson. I ignored complaints about cold -- they're used to absurdly warm water in training pools -- but they both said they could do way more than the class offered. Both said their DACA classes were way better. Damned with faint praise, again.

The rest of the day camp was a regular old fun day camp, but the swim lesson part of it seems sounds like a bust. Again. Like I should be surprised? It's so freakin' difficult to find good swim lessons! Or even bad ones -- just lessons in which they're actually taught to swim!

After picking the the boys up from camp, we zoomed home to get ready to go to, of all things, a swim lesson at DACA. This time just Katrina and Julian.

Julian had a great time in his "red ribbon" class, but once again I found myself quelling irritation that he's in a group of other kids who I see as holding him back. The teacher had to give extra attention to teaching very basic skills like diving. I thought at his level we were sort of beyond this broad differences in skill.

Now, in fairness, Julian had no idea how to dive either his first day, but after just a few lessons, he can dive far more confidently than today's classmates. He leapt to volunteer to go first, anxious to show off his "flip" (meaning, he can't dive straight and ends up flipping underwater):

This tells me the classes just aren't structured right, if skills that can be learned quickly (diving) are mixed in with more fundamental ones that tend to group kids together (errr...swimming?? oh no never mind, that's not until 3 levels later.)

Once again, I found myself watching his class with a mixture of irritation and pride. I remember my one and only experience Momma-bearing, when Julian was in a lower-level class, low enough that you could still get cryers in it. One day, Julian's poor teacher was completely consumed dealing with a new cryer, and I counted the number of turns he had, four, all being pulled around on a barbell. That was too much...or rather, too little. I asked (complained), and he got moved to a class with peers more in keeping with his level.

Again today I found myself wanting to goad the teacher, "can we dispense with the preliminaries and move on to SWIMMING?!"

And this was in the good class today!

He had a new teacher today, who overall was pretty good. Julian's still learning how to dive for sink rings.


One new classmate was not only 10 minutes late (that's really late for a half-hour class), but she had no goggles, looked like she was about to cry at first, and then was constantly chided and helped by her mother, including being helped with climbing out of the pool. Julian is substantially shorter than both girls, and has longer clingier swim trunks to handicap him, so struggled mightily to get out to the side. But I stayed out of it, and he did it.



I wasn't even trying to catch this, but she also gives the girl instructions during class to kick. Later, off-camera, she admonishes her daughter not to let go of the side. I did nothing to support her cause, motioning to Julian to let go if he caught my eye, not that he needed any extra encouragement. He likes letting go and practicing treading water while waiting his turn (a long time while the teacher had to persuade the girl he was working with to let go of the rope and dive for a ring -- which Julian can't do either but he certainly tries hard and eagerly).


I've had it. I'm really tired of being frustrated about swim lessons. I never felt that way at Water Babies, but I feel that way all the time now with all the other classes.

I'm no expert on teaching kids to swim, but I am now an expert on sitting on the sidelines and seeing nothing happening that easily could. I'm really quite certain Julian could easily be taught freestyle -- he's strong and confident and willing and eager. TEACH HIM, already!! I'd do it myself if he'd listen to me!

Fortunately I have some friends who share the same frustratins and have invested far more time and effort into their kids' swimming than I have, and have finally found good lessons, mostly private and semi-private ones taught by entrepreneurs in their backyards. Next summer I'm going straight to them.

My boys' swim lessons do show to some extent, but they should really be far, far more capable than they are given the time and effort they've put in already. I'm no expert on teaching kids to swim, but for the life of me I just can't summon enough creativity to explain why not to teach a capable willing 6-year-old to use his arms in the water. Try as a I might, I just can't craft a reason against it. At no time in my swimming education do I recall being deprived of this resource.

I do love Y camps; nostagically I learned to swim at a Y sleep-away camp, but now even beloved Y campsfall into my general umbrella of disgust at kids' swim lessons. I'm not an instant-gratification kinda gal; I know it takes a lot of time and build-up to learn to swim, but lost opportunities irk me, and this is one. Indeed, I blame the boring classes on Gabriel's lost interest -- he's actually a decent swimmer, and swimming fits well with his physical abilities, but he doesn't like swim classes. I can't blame him. Neither do I.

After this month, that's it for conventional swim lessons. Next summer, it's time to bring in the big guns!

After class, back at home, Katrina had a great time running around the front yard, chasing Gabriel's remote-control truck, teasing Dad about the mushrooms growing in the lawn, and just generally being silly. We use our front yard like this, in small short little snippets, all the time now. Before landscaping, months would go by and I just wouldn't make it near this area. Now it's fun to see what's bloomed, what's growing, what needs to be cut back, how things look. It's not perfect and now that it's there, there are things I'd do differently, but still -- WHAT a difference! It's FUN to be out there, instead of cringe-inducing!



8/2/2010

8/1/2010 Three Moms

I had a nice time catching up with friends at a Las Madres picnic today. I've been so out of touch, now that I've been working for 6 months. But these things always remind me what friendship and community is about.

One thing that was fun was trying get an update for this series of photos. Today's shot was taken in the same park, but a different spot.


September 2006. Left to right: Stef, Noemi, Betsy. Our babies arrived Nov.9, Oct.5, and Nov.15, respectively, all full-term.


June 2007, about 10 months later.


June 2009, two years from the last photo. We missed 2008 somehow. Our babies are 2-1/2 now.


August 2010. Another 14 months and now age 4 is coming up. It wasn't clear we'd be able to carry them for the photo -- this will be the last time!

Yay, later Sonia sent me this photo she took with her super-duper-uber good camera.


After all the park play, we got home and had another playdate. We don't have a lot, but the ones we do have are all arranged by Dave! A coworker has a son who's one year and grade older than Gabriel who visits in the summer, and they've gotten to be friends. That was nice.

Back to it tomorrow -- and then some. Day camps mean lots of preparing their things, lunch-making, a big break in the usual dropoff/pickup routine. I thought I'd be more excited about it, but I'm semi-dreading it. Especially after a weekend filled with lots of fun and great kid-time.

8/1/2010

7/31/2010 Boardwalk

I don't like amusement parks. Party pooper, spoilsport. I basically had fun with them as a kid, but even as a young adult, the traffic, crowds, lines, noise and kitchiness was never my thing. Especially the crowds and lines. Especially the lines.

So it was more out of obligation than enthusiasm that I went along with a trip to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk today for Dave's company's annual summer "picnic." If nothing else, the fact that a Silicon Valley company still does this is remarkable -- a throwback to the plentiful times of yore. Plus, I like meeting his coworkers, the amusement park should be fun for the kids. We planned to bail by 2pm, so, it all appeared bearable.

The one thing that's changed since the last time we went to the Boardwalk is that now I have a kid who is just barely tall enough to go on some of the good rides. Gabriel is exactly 48" tall and maybe with shoes and good posture could pass on the many rides that demand a minimum 50" height. It's supposed to be about the kids, but I've never been good at that. For me, actually going on a cool ride could inject some brightness into this chore.

It happened that where we had to pick up our wristbands for all-day free rides was on the opposite end of a whole kiddie-ride section, which we didn't find until after lunch. So we were closest to the more grownup rides, a few of which Gabriel qualified for in height.

Why not start big then? Gabriel was up for "Double Shot," a free-fall type ride, the sort of which didn't exist when I was a kid. Now we're talking. Dave had no interest and Julian was too short even if he'd have wanted to, so it was just me and Mr. Firstborn.

And it was total fun! Brief, and not nearly as scary as I expected, but it was still really fun. I suspect this one is tame as free-fall rides go. I had to yell a little, but Gabriel was cool as a cucumber. Later he said it was the funnest ride of the day.


I've gotten a lot braver in my old age. At least at this relatively dinky (but historic) boardwalk, I was ready for the big rides. Gabriel didn't qualify for some, and didn't want to do some that he did. After Double Shot, I was ready to take on Fire Ballz and Giant Dipper (an old wooden roller coaster!), but, no takers. Double Shot was the first, and most challenging one, we did.

Then it was on to the merry-go-round, that Katrina insisted upon. She was a poor citizen waiting; complaining, whining and then screaming about wanting to ride while we were on line.

Dave and I both expected that given her often timid or hesitant (ok, resistant) reaction to new things, we thought she'd freak out once the ride got going, but she loved it. This proved to be a theme throughout the day: she laughed and wasn't at all fearful on any rides. (And was obnoxious and impatient waiting for them.)



This old merry-go-round actually had a ring dispenser to reach for, and a clown's mouth to try to throw it into. Gabriel was able to reach the ring, but hitting the clown's mouth was tough.


This "JetCopter" ride is one of the few with a maximum height -- which meant Katrina would have to go with a brother instead of a parent. No problem! Gabriel was all too happy to take care of her.



We rode the Sky Glider to the other side of the park, where the boys did a Rock'n'Roll car ride that went around fast, then backward. I was still a little queasy from the merry-go-round (not the free-fall ride!). I'm somewhat susceptible to motion sickness; I wouldn't dare go on one of those teacup-spinning rides. This looked like fun though, I wished I'd done it. Ah, what I won't do for the photo.


We went to Dave's company's lunch, which had over 400 people signed up. They had a Hawaiian band playing and a hula dancer, who gave a short lesson. I couldn't pass that up! I learned some of the arm motions to represent things like "beautiful day" and "ocean" in hula. It was total fun -- I do miss dancing!

After lunch there was the obligatory raffle. Somehow we wound up with two tickets (it really should have been one per family), so Gabriel and Julian listened to the raffle call-out and minded the numbers on our two tickets. And Gabriel's number came up!

Or rather, the number of the ticket he was holding came up. He/we won a digital camera! I felt bad, but he took it well when we explained that he won a family prize, not just one for him. We'll find a way to share it and rotate ownership.

A truly hilarious family moment came when I sent the boys to fetch ice cream, which came in two forms: an ice cream sandwich, or a packaged ice cream cone. "Get me a Drumstick," Dave said, referring to the Nestle brand Drumstick pre-packaged ice cream cone. Gabriel returned right away with his frozen loot, but Julian took long enough that I went to go investigate.

I found Julian carefully making his way back to our table with a most curious load in his hands: a packaged ice cream cone in one palm, with a leg of sloppy, sticky barbecue chicken perched precariously on top, with the cone acting as a makeshift plate and barely held in place with his slippery fingers tenuously holding the protruding bone. It was quite the scene.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! I cried in horror, observing the chicken with no plate, and barbecue sauce all over his hands and the cone package, ready to slide right to the ground. Julian had turned down chicken at lunch, did he change his mind?

He looked at me with wide eyes and said, "Dad asked for a drumstick!"

On top of it, when we opened the ice cream cone that had done double-duty as a plate, it had melted beyond usability from the hot barbecue on top of it. Laughing, I went back to get Julian a fresh cone. How was he supposed to know about Nestle's branding of the term "Drumstick" ?!

After lunch, my appetite for upside-down rides had declined, but that was OK, we went in search of a kiddie roller coaster. What we found was a whole kiddie-ride section we hadn't, but should have, known existed. Everyone met the height limits at every ride here.

So we went on the Sea Serpent, a tame little roller coaster for little kids. I was miffed to see so many adults and teenagers on. I mean really, come on! Some adults were so large that they couldn't share a car with another person, and some boys so tall that their knees were sticking out of the car. Go to the big rides, wimps!

Speaking of wimps, Julian opted out, but amused himself with playing gate-man for the exit gate while the rested of us waited on line. We got super-lucky with the cutoff of groups, so Gabriel and I got first choice of cars, and of course we took the first one. Katrina and Dave rode right behind us. We weren't sure how she'd do, and I heard her screaming a few times, but Dave said later she did that because she thought she was supposed to, and she laughed through the whole thing.


Interesting; she overall is -- well, acts -- more fearful than her brothers. But when fun makes her forget the act, she's more welcoming of rides than Julian was at her age.

It was well past our intended departure time of 2pm, lines were all very long by now, and it was so crowded we couldn't all walk together. Given our recent miscommunication that resulted in accidentally leaving Gabriel behind at home one evening, Dave and I made sure to take note who was watching who, which meant "who's got Katrina" and "who's got the boys." The only way to make it through crowds efficiently was for Dave to carry Katrina on his shoulders, the boys to follow him, and for me to bring up the rear to watch the whole group. But this isn't exactly relaxed or leisurely together.

So we did one more ride, then it was time to scoot home anyway for swim lessons. The boys and my last hurrah was Space Race, a bumper car ride that the boys were tall enough to do. They'd been disappointed that neither was tall enough for the grownup bumper cars we first went by, so this was a nice find.

Meantime, Dave took Katrina on a kiddie mini-freefall ride. Dave said that was plenty for him, and that Katrina loved it.

I was floored at how much traffic there was as we made our way back to the car. Are all these people leaving the beach now?! No, Dave pointed out -- they're arriving. Unlike the Atlantic beaches my family frequented in my childhood, there's morning gloom to contend with here on the Left Coast. A security guard told me that the local weather service predicts to the minute what time the fog will lift; today the sun actually broke at 1:51pm. I actually prefer the overcastness, it's not so hot and sunny and bothersome to the eyes. And makes for better pictures. The sun is definitely better if your destination is the beach though, which must have been where the westbound hordes were going.

I stand by my general objection to amusement parks. Not my thing. Overall, the logistics, traffic, parking, crowds, lines, noise, hecticness, crowds, lines, crowds, lines, crowds, lines, lines, and lines are so not my deal. But, the two minutes actually spent on the rides more than redeemed the experience today. I'm shocked (and delighted) I'm saying this, but we all had a really good time today.

7/31/2010

7/30/2010 Office Work

By the time dinner and kids are done, the LAST thing I want to do is work in the office, but some things must get done. So, not much to say except that I got almost all my Dad's Medicaid application done, minus a few big questions. Having that done will take a huge load off my mind

Then I can think about another seriously overdue task: dissolving Nebcom, Inc. You can thank business-unfriendly California for that; they want $800 a year from every corporation in a business tax even if the business loses money or takes in no money whatsoever, like mine. I can think of much better things to do with $800 a year than throw it down the toilet known as California state government.

7/30/2010

7/29/2010 Burn Notice

Sorry, it's Burn Notice night. Then Royal Pains. Actual regular-run TV shows I like to watch once a week.

7/29/2010

7/28/2010 Hippie Girl

Some combination of Katrina picking her clothes and Dave moving her along with suggestions this morning resulted in this decidedly beatnik-era outfit today.


She has such a pretty ponytail though!


7/28/2010

7/27/2010 Teachers

Lots of turnover at the CDC lately. I get the impression the new Director isn't well-liked. Young guy, kind of gruff and strict in ways that aren't needed (even in my opinion!). I don't know about this.

To make matters worse, my favorite CDC teacher left today. I am SO bummed! Nichole has been there for a few years, and took care of the kindergartners this year. She's funny and honest and supportive and I consider her an essential component in my support system.

I'm happy for her, she's moving her family to Houston to look for a better life, but we will really miss her.

Next week, Katrina gets a new teacher too. I'll be SO sad not to chat with Miss Jennifer anymore, she is so sweet and funny. But I'm happy to have Miss Amanda again for pre-K, and she won't accept Katrina's refusal to try things! Poor Miss Amanda, she was calibrated by Julian, who though he did his work slowly, was a willing and capable student. Katrina could be a terrific student if she dropped the 'tude. Good luck with that one, Miss Amanda.

Happy Trails, Nichole!

7/27/2010

7/26/2010 The Reminder

For the most part, Katrina gives me the most headaches around here, primarily due to the mismatch between her age and tantrumy personality.

Remind you of anyone? Gabriel's difficulty been greatly mitigated by maturity, but everrrrry so often, we're reminded again who we're dealing with.

I can't even remember how it started -- something about having to be told numerous times to come inside and get ready for swim lesson. As he was putting his bicycle away, with me angrily standing over him, I commented to be careful with the handlebar in a tight area, I didn't want to get whacked by it. "That's YOUR problem," he retorted.

I look right in his face and inform him that he may never speak to any grownup that way, even me, but he isn't in the least bit intimidated, let alone remorseful. His rude responses make me raise the bar, and it keeps getting worse, with numerous interruptions and natural graceful exits when I have to pay attention to the other two.

Still, there was plenty of opportunity for offenses. A few minutes later at dinner, he held up his fist in an apparent threat to punch, but then claimed he was actually just threatening to throw a piece of hot dog at me. I'm leaving out a lot, but the last interaction was my warning him that ONE more rudeness and he'd go straight to bed after swim lesson.

Swim lesson changed the venue and all was forgotten, even my internal smoldering (mostly because of a bowel emergency of Julian's that required a lot of attention).

But after PJs and past bedtime, Gabriel came down to ask for dessert. Dave right away said it was too late, and I followed up with that sometimes, I'll make exceptions, but not on a day that he was SO rude to me. Big mistake. Once again, the fist went up. Dave asked him what that was really for, and he said without any fear that that's how you punch someone.

That's when the trouble really started. I stayed out of the major escalation, but it involved Dave implementing one serious consequence after another, with Gabriel reacting with yet more rudeness, defiance, threats and violence. I stepped in to play Good Cop when he was on his bed, though he was again in an aggressive stance and hurling threats.

He was so angry, yet still so defiant. Now his focus had shifted to his lost items -- all his money, his electronics lab, his Nerf gun, and numerous other favorite toys. Yet he still wouldn't back down. I sensed that now he was ready to get out of his tizzy but didn't know how.

So I talked to him. I told him I knew how he felt with being really angry, and that it's OK to feel angry. I suggested he punch his pillow, and talked to him about finding ways to feel better -- just a little teensy bit better. I distracted him by asking if he knew what a vortex is, and described a vortex in terms of a huge sinking ship, like the Titanic. I told him that it takes a long time to learn how to make things better for yourself, knowing that he was still completely focused on his lost things and not on my philosophy lesson. His reactions were all with gritted teeth and angry tones, but finally I heard a quiver in his voice. He was calming down not so much from my words, but from hearing me talk. I left when he started to escalate again, ready for Round Two and starting to demand his things back, but most of the storm had blown over.

My son. How can I guide this powerful personality?

He becomes so blinded with rage, so focused on what's lost that he makes things so much worse for himself. I remember SO well as a kid feeling completely overcome with outrage at the injustice, feeling like I was going to go CRAZY and that there was no way out. I hated feeling so helpless. It takes years to learn sunk cost, how to accept and grieve what can't be changed, how to make the best of situations, how to move on. I'm so much better at managing emotions and frustration now (believe it or not), I have outlets and coping strategies and recognize self-destructive tendencies. And I'm still a rank amateur.

It is SO hard to watch my son tear himself -- and everything else around him -- apart while he is in the throes of anger and helplessness. Talking to him tonight did finally help pull him out, but that's never a given. Quite often my attempts to talk him off the ledge only backfire and re-escalate. It absolutely doesn't work until he's on the downhill side of the arc and is out of ideas. Even then, like tonight, sometimes it just gives him a breather to regroup, and he's ready to resume the fight anew.

Most of learning how to cope with these feelings will be up to him, but I hope so strongly I can still guide him and help him somehow in the meantime. Whatever I've learned in my several decades -- and still am learning -- just doesn't apply to an 8-year-old. He doesn't want my wisdom, he wants his Nerf gun back.

But I'm hardly a model to follow. Dave spent some frustrating time tonight trying to fix a bifold door whose hardware got bent when it was closed improperly. Er, that would be, slammed in anger. And he's got me to teach him?

Heaven help the world when teenage hormones flood in and drown whatever tenuous influence I might have on this 46-pound fortress.

7/26/2010

7/25/2010 Talking Carl

How difficult is it to get family photos? Normally impossible, but EASY if you have Uncle Ryan -- and Talking Carl! Check this out! Not just one good photo in which maybe one person isn't quite right, but many great photos. Even Dave is smiling!










What's the secret? A goofy iPhone app of a piece of talking red toast that echos back everything you say. This had everyone laughing -- even Dave -- and focused our attention, and let us get some rare great photos of all 5 of us.


We have the best time this weekend with the best in-laws. What a great visit!


A lot of work to do tonight getting ready for cleaners, daycare and work tomorrow, but that's OK. After such a joyful weekend, the week will be just fine.

7/25/2010

7/24/2010 Visiting!

Hi all -- busy, full weekend, my favorite kind! I went running this morning while Dave, Ryan, Laura and 3 kids went out to breakfast and later, miniature golf. Then it was hanging at home and watching some of Avatar until swim lesson. Ryan's been playing outside with the boys with their Nerf guns and baseball for hours. Then Ryan's Mom came to visit. That was a lot of fun; Julian showed her and Laura how to play some new card game. We had a great dinner again (Ryan made a phenomenal salmon), dessert, more talk and hanging, the rest of Avatar....just the way we like it! And we get more tomorrow.

Oddly one thing that hasn't been happening is photos. Partly my poor camera has had about its limit of abuse and is about to break open, and partly I've just been too busy or too lazy when the time should have been right. But with Ryan here (a professional photographer) I'm hoping we can get a photo of our family of 5, and also one of me and Laura, and maybe even all of us somehow. If not, well, that's OK. There will definitely be more opportunities.

7/24/2010

7/22/2010 In-laws

Laura and Ryan are here!!! I'm delighted with how well Laura is doing -- she's still totally Laura with a few mechanical challenges, but LAURA is here! One never knows to expect when someone you love so much undergoes a brain bypass. But she's here. Thank goodness. We made dinner, drank, played with kids a little, and chatted well into the evening. Dave and I have to go to work tomorrow, but to tell the truth, I'm there for appearances, since my mind will be elsewhere!

7/22/2010

7/21/2010 Cooking along

I snuck out of work early today, so I could do some grocery-shopping before picking up kids. Not just regular grocery-shopping either, but to fulfill a gourmet menu I have planned for Laura and Ryan's upcoming visit tomorrow! I'm so happy, I can't wait to see them. I haven't seen Laura since her stroke and surgery, so I'm super anxious to see her.

It's a tough call who I love to cook with the most: Laura or Mom. It's a call I'm lucky enough to have, and one I'm even luckier enough not to truly have to make. (The ultimate moment would be with them together, and I think we did once many years ago, before I turned into a foodie -- or really, moreso a cook-ie!)

I don't know yet if Laura will be up to cooking together, but I certainly can't pass up this opportunity to make new great stuff, so I'm preparing some things ahead of time. I don't want anyone to have to lift a finger, or go any further than the wine cabinet for the whole weekend.

Naturally, I've planned a week's worth of ideas for just a few days' visit, but alas, I can't help it. As always, I have less time than I think, so I wasn't able to pre-make my blueberry pie bites (or a strawberry substitute I just found that I must try), or do prep work for some wonderful roasted fennel with gorgonzola appetizers, but at least I got the awesome boeuf bourgignon done. Gabriel was with me when I set a cup of cognac ablaze in the pot, and together we cheered while the flames roared. And Julian was delighted to hear about the yogurt mediterranean salad, with cucumber and tomatoes: "that's for me!" he declared.

It's funny that I haven't posted to my food blog in almost a year, yet I've cooked and baked more in the last year than I have in my whole life. Slightly related, I'm also finding more and more fault with my new kitchen, mostly in that the fridge is too far from the sink. This wasn't an oversight; I had a careful plan for the prep area relative to the fridge. Trouble is, it's almost impossible to know what part of the kitchen you'll be drawn to until you're actually in it. Indeed, up until the very moment you reach for that first stick of butter, the plan seems perfect -- but then, as soon as you look for the knife to cut the butter, the plate to put the butter stick on, the bowl into which the slice of butter will go, and the sink that all that stuff will land in in the end, the fallacy in the plan roars in. Overall my kitchen works well, but it really is too spread out.

Not that my double-wide kitchen should stop me food-blogging, but it's interesting that I food-blogged a lot more when I had far far worse kitchens.

Now, spinach carbonara or shrimp bisque tomorrow? Another great dilemma to have. But first, I must make sure to have the goat-cheese salmon dill appetizer ready for their arrival.

7/21/2010

7/20/2010 The parking lot

Today and yesterday, I watched three parents park at the CDC, pull their toddler out of the car, and then walk across the parking lot to the building -- with their kid 5-15 feet behind them. Sometimes the kid kept up, other times the kid stopped, as kids are wont to do, went around in various directions, and then darted across to catch up to the parent.

Meantime, Katrina is strapped into the car, with all the windows open, in the shade, in sight and well within shouting distance. I watch her through the CDC window, or wait outside if the boys have to clean up toys. She's calm and in no danger of being hit by a car.

But these toddlers who are left to cross a parking lot freeform are removed from their parents' car in the interest of safety. Not only is what other parents do legal, but it's claimed to be preferred. What I do is technically illegal, as Katrina is under the age of ... I forget, 6? Of course, I learned long ago as a motorcyclist not to confuse law with safety.

One could argue that the best of both worlds is that the toddler is not left in the car, but also is not left to wander across a parking lot on their own either. Certainly convenience plays a role in my decision to leave Katrina in the car, but more starkly, convenience completely drives parents' decisions not to insist their toddlers hold hands. I know alllll too well how incredibly inconvenient it is to insist on proper behavior with a toddler, which is why I opt out whenever possible.

All in all, I still think my convenience choice is the safer one. The odds of a toddler being struck by a car in a parking lot far, far, far outweigh the odds of a stranger kidnapping. But I seriously doubt the school administrator and principal who chewed me out for leaving Katrina in the car would scold a parent for letting their toddler bumble across a parking lot on their own. If nothing else, there are just too many of them.

Nope, there's no doubt about it. Leaving her in the car is safer and more convenient, since I absolutely will not allow her to enter any parking lot without holding hands. I still insist on this from the boys in fact.

And so ends the indignant rationalization (or is that rant?) of the day.

7/20/2010

7/19/2010 Rainbow Ribbon

MORE swim news! Aside from the fact that I forgot about lessons tonight until we got home -- a little late for the mad scramble, but pulled it off and got everyone to their lesson on time. Good thing -- Gabriel had a private lesson, Julian had his second first "red ribbon" class (that is, first on Mondays, new teacher), and Katrina had a teacher she's had since she started. Which by now makes her something of an old-timer.

And today that experience paid off -- she got promoted to the "rainbow ribbon" level today. It's not hard at this stage; I think all it means is that they don't cry in class three times in a row. Still, she was very happy about the ribbon.

More significantly, she put her face in the water again today, a huge step for her.

Julian again did great in his new class, smiling and listening and really working again. But I was dismayed to see the teacher doing an exercise in which the kids hold her arm and she pulls them through the water while they kick. What about swimming for Pete's sake?! Still, overall, after he's picked up a sink ring, or has dived in, he makes his way the few feet to the side of the pool on his own. It's not swimming, but it's not drowning either.

Gabriel, to my delight, actually did swim. He used to take a few strokes, then stop and tread water, put his feet down if he could, or generally make a good impression of drowning, make a dash for the side of the pool, resume a few strokes and repeat the whole cycle. Today no one else in his class showed up, so he had a private lesson and he had to work at it. He saw the whole length of his lane that he could, and didn't appear to need to stop. Great! Unfortunately, he's the one who's dropping his lesson come August.

But I have other ideas too. I ran into my "butterfly buddy*" when I went swimming yesterday, and she told me that during winter, she keeps her 5-year-old daughter tuned up by giving her a private lesson roughly once a month -- that's just enough to keep it on her radar and not have her starting afresh come summer. That's a great idea, for the boys anyway. Maybe next year summer won't creep up on us with rusty swimming.

7/19/2010

* a woman I met in the pool when we encouraged each other to do a 50-meter length of butterfly, and I've run into her there twice since.

7/18/2010 The Caterpillar

Today I was doing some plant-trimming, dead-heading and weeding, and came across a caterpillar on a geranium plant. I called Gabriel right away, hoping this would help relieve his ongoing grief at the loss of his silkworm "Scissors." (And it was a way of transitioning from a morning-long crisis of Gabriel being sent to his room and losing toys and allowance for pushing Julian down the stairs.)

Sure enough, Gabriel was fascinated and excited by the creature. He greeted it tenderly with, "Hello, friend," and then studied it carefully for a long time.


The caterpillar then served to defuse a huge Katrina tantrum too. Dave took Katrina and Julian to a closeby park to practice two-wheeling, which Katrina soon lost interest in. While Julian pedaled around, Dave watched her play on a little playground for a while, but she was furious when it was time to go home. I could hear her screaming as soon as they had rounded the block.

So Gabriel showed her the caterpillar to distract her, which, unlike with him when he was her age, actually worked.


Gabriel supposed it was a silkworm too, but I don't think so. This photo doesn't quite capture it, but it appears to have iridescent dark-blue "eyes."

(Anyone have any idea what this is? I suspect it's pretty ordinary.)

I hadn't expected this about having landscaping and plants -- dare I even call them "gardens." It's a lot of fun walking around and seeing what's bloomed lately, what's changed, what's growing and what isn't. And even finding wildlife too.

7/18/2010

7/17/2010 Swim Day

Sorry to get redundant here on the swimming, but...

Today Julian had his first lesson at the "red ribbon" level, when this somewhat lame swim school finally starts teaching them actual swimming (ooh, arms!). His class is in the deeper pool, and he'll learn to dive, tread water and, maybe even possibly, actually swim.

And today he did all that! He was a little nervous beforehand, but the moment the class started, he couldn't quit smiling and giggling. I love watching him; he pays attention and seems to really try to do what the teacher says, he responds so well to instruction (unlike thick-headed older brother) and has a great time.

They start by diving for sink rings. This might seem silly, but I knew an adult once who truly had no idea how to get his body down to the bottom of the pool. I can't say exactly why this is important -- after all the whole point of swimming is so that you don't go to the bottom of the pool -- but it adds to general water body awareness. And kids love it, it's fun.


Julian had his first dives from the side of the pool today too. He did great, I was so happy for him and proud of him.



Meantime, Katrina's class was swarmed by three other first-timers, one of whom cried through most of the class, and another who looked like she was about to. It reminded me of how far even she's come: refusing to go into the water at all last year, and then not knowing enough to put her feet down this year. Her general water literacy is much, much better now.


In playtime at the end, the girl in front of Katrina finally stopped wailing, poor thing. Katrina never cried, that's not her style -- stubbornly refusing to do something is more like her.


But Katrina proudly and happily announced that she put her face in the water today -- major progress for her!

It reminded me of the time that Julian was in a class with a first-timer who cried the whole time, occupying much of the teacher's attention. That was my one experience with momma-bearing, since I was already annoyed at how little the teacher pushed him and I knew he could do a lot more. But then to be in a class with a brand-new beginner who cried was too much. I complained, and he got changed to a different class and progressed as well as this school would allow. (I still think they could easily teach more at every level.)

Meantime, I was all set for a nice swim this morning, only to be foiled by a swim meet at the pool. Rats. After getting my heart, mind and body set on swimming, nothing feels right afterward. I consoled myself with a workout at the Y, but it just wasn't the same. How dare hundreds of people enjoy a fun healthy active morning holding a swim meet at my expense! But, seeing two of my children really enjoy the water and learn a little this afternoon almost made up for it.

7/17/2010

7/16/2010 Night and Day

This morning, the boys were completely awful. Putzy, rude, wouldn't get dressed, and then were belligerent when they got downstairs too late to have breakfast. At one point they physically threatened us together, Gabriel with his fist raised, Julian shouting "HOW ABOUT I KICK YOU THEN!"

My back is much much better -- I had my last physical therapy appointment today -- but by evening I've mostly needed to be lying down. Tonight, I finally felt like I could stand up long enough to bake something. I've really missed baking.

So I decided to make something light and simple, lemon tea cookies. The boys wanted to help, so Gabriel grated the lemon, and Julian mixed the butter and cracked the egg. We stopped for dinner, and then Julian continued to help me since Gabriel asked, "Can I give Katrina a bath?" Dave thought he needed to be there, but I told him Gabriel had it under control, and since it was still light outside, Dave went out to do some watering and general checking of our landscaping.

Julian then helped me drop the cookie batter onto the sheets. While the cookies were baking, he asked if he could help clean up. Uhh, sure! I gave him a few token tasks to do, which he finished and asked for more -- next thing I knew, he'd rinsed and loaded everything into the dishwasher, and washed the few things that don't go in! Minus some heavy pans and glass bowls, he did everything!

Then Gabriel came downstairs...oh yeah, where was Katrina? "She's in bed," he said happily. He'd given her a bath, brushed her hair and teeth, put a pull-up on her, got her to put her PJs on, read her a story and probably even kissed her good-night. Dave came inside to find that this entire job was completely done.

Then the boys and I sat down to enjoy our lemon tea cookies, which Gabriel raved over. He often doesn't like things I bake, so this was high praise indeed. I knew the cookies were extra-special to them since they'd done so much of the work to make them.

But the helpfulness didn't stop there. The boys both wore their last pair of clean shorts today, so I asked them to go upstairs and put all their pants in the washer and start the washer. They almost argued over who would get to do this, but after they went upstairs I could hear the washer starting -- somehow they worked it out and got their laundry started.

Are these my boys?! I couldn't believe it. Helpful, cooperative, cheerful, and willing -- not just for novel things that are fun, but even for drudgerous things that they usually complain about (laundry). What a great difference from this morning. I don't expect the magic will last long, but I'm feeling pretty enchanted tonight!

7/16/2010

7/15/2010 In the yard

Look what I found today in our yard!

A blooming hibiscus. This mini-park around our house still feels pretty formal and foreign, but with each blooming flower, it's slowly becoming our own.

7/15/2010

7/14/2010 Backyard bike ride

One thing I'd always wanted in our backyard was a perimeter path, for kids to ride tricycles around. That idea long predated any children big enough to ride a tricycle, but somehow the yard never got the path, then the yard ceased being a yard, and then the kids outgrew tricycles.

But now, thanks to our new landscaping, there is for the first time such a perimeter path, and it turns out it's not too late to be enjoyed. Katrina calls it a "racetrack" and has a great time pedaling around, attracting her brothers' attention -- and bikes -- too.


It helps to have a brother to help you get unstuck.


It doesn't help to have a brother rear-end you, as Julian did later.


We may have rushed things, we may have ended up with a patio that's smack-dab in the sun and shaded lawn, we may have paid too much and had too much hassle -- but I'm still glad we got the landscaping done and that finally -- finally -- my earliest vision for how the yard should be used has come to be.


Katrina's getting good at pedaling now too! Any chance she and her resist-all attitude would dare attempt to lose the training wheels? Julian was her age when he learned!

7/14/2010

7/13/2010 Shoe time

Once again, we arrived at a trip destination only to discover that Julian's shoes were ready to be thrown out. This first happened last March, when we arrived in Truckee for the ski trip and found several holes in his shoes. When we got back from the ski trip, he got new shoes, which were replaced once again with the shoes we brought to New York. Thanks to the heat wave and a week in the country, he didn't wear them much. Good thing, because the sole was about ready to come off.

I ordered new shoes from Zappos.com on Sunday, thinking that would improve his footwear faster than waiting until the weekend and then having to go to a dreaded mall. And the shoes arrived today -- with free shipping and no tax!

Good thing, because today Julian's shoes looked like this. The sole is more off than on.

It's funny, people I talk to about shoes -- including other parents -- find that kids outgrow shoes before wearing them out. But for both boys, outgrowing shoes is a much slower and easier problem to keep up with than their total destruction. From what I can tell in photos, Julian was wearing his previous pair of shoes as of June 16. So even with a week of downtime in Pennsylvania, this pair lasted less than a month.

Both boys are on their 4th pair of shoes this year. The way they blow through shoes, the speed, price and ease of buying their shoes online is a very clear win. I'm adding zappos.com to my "quick links."

7/13/2010

7/12/2010 Movin' on up

Back to reality today! I went to work in the morning, though left for a physical therapist appointment. Though I still need the cane for stability if I'm walking any distance, I can mostly make it through day-to-day operations.

On Mondays, that includes swim classes for all 3 kids at 6:30. I left so much time that the kids were ready 10 minutes before class.

During the swim class, I lamented the instruction quality again. Katrina's "novice" class is perfect for her, but only because she's so darned lame. Gabriel's class is pretty good now that he's at a level that actually swims. His lessons showed when I insisted he swim to the dock in the pond in Pennsylvania -- no option to put feet down.

Julian's class, on the other hand -- smack dab in nowhereland, where kids do popups, switch from back to front, and a lot of back-floating, but don't actually swim. How do you get beyond that?

Somehow today, Julian did. He was awarded his "red ribbon," and he was very very proud and happy about it. He actually works pretty hard in his class; he pays attention and tries hard, which contributes to my frustration at how slow the class is.

But this ribbon represents a pretty large leap. At the red level, they actually swim. His lesson will be in the deeper pool, and he'll learn to use his arms, dive and tread water.

And I was just about to cancel their lessons for the summer too. Hmm.


And, TLC rotated classes -- Katrina will be in Miss Amanda's pre-K class this year, yay!! Miss Amanda was Julian's pre-K teacher too. She loves to teach, she's no-nonsense and really lets the kids meet their potential. Julian thrived under her. The downside is that Miss Amanda is expecting baby #2 in a few months (she's expressed concern about having 2 boys just under 2 years apart in age...I wasn't able to offer any comforting words).

Mostly, I want to move up -- straight up. Doctor tomorrow, PT Friday. Big question is: when can I run again?

7/12/2010

7/11/2010 Wacko backo

Slowly the joy from our visit is seeping in again, as my back alternates between getting better and reminding me sharply that it's still recovering from a fairly bad episode. After sitting for any length of time, it's stiff and sore and I need to lean on the cane to get around. Once I've been walking and moving, it's OK for a while, but then standing is too much. So I sit down and the cycle starts again. It's interruptable if I lie down, but I can't always do that, nor do I want to.

Dave took all 3 kids to a model airplane show today (no pics unfortunately), so I had some peaceful time to rest. I'll need it, because the rat race starts all over again tomorrow.

7/11/2010