Death Valley National Park Trip

Death Valley, April 17-19 2011

We went to Death Valley National Park!!



Why Death Valley?!

Mostly because of when the boys' school "spring recess" falls, in mid-April. In most places in California, it's still too cold or snowy to camp. But not Death Valley -- in fact, mid-April is pushing into the "off-peak" season.

We caught the very beginning of "off-peak," when you can no longer reserve campsites, and the weather is transitioning from pleasantly warm to dangerously hot. Death Valley is a so-called "winter park," because of its unique status of being "hottest, driest, and lowest" in the USA.

And Death Valley is a National Park after all. You can't miss on those. I'd been there before, on a motorcycle, and barely scratched the surface of its amazingness.

We left Sunnyvale on a Saturday afternoon, April 16, and stayed overnight in Bakersfield. From Bakersfield, it took a stunning 4-1/2 hours to reach the Furnace Creek campground in the park. I really underestimated the time -- I thought it'd take 2 hours to get to "Death Valley" from Bakersfield. In fact, it did -- to the western park border. But "Death Valley" is 100 miles across in places, and our campsite at Furnace Creek was closer to Nevada than it was to California. Yikes!

Sunday April 17, 2011

Just the drive from Bakersfield had its share of interesting aspects, starting with a cow delay on scenic Hwy 178 to Lake Isabella.



I also think I took the long way around by taking 395 north up to CA 190, instead of east on 178 to Panamint Valley Road. But we did get to see some fascinating desolation -- and contrasting snow-capped mountains -- along the way.


Crowley Point just entering the Park.


We arrived Sunday afternoon in enough time to get one of the primo shaded campsites, though not the primo shaded campsite away from the RV generators. Still, the generators weren't bad at all (off at 7pm).


I left the boys at the campsite to go to the ranger station to get a camping permit. Looks like we were camping at well below sea level. Cool!


Gas prices in Death Valley -- well above sea level. But what are you going to do?


The Rangers told me about a Junior Ranger program, in which kids are given a booklet filled with activities and games. If they complete a selection of the activities, a real Ranger can validate it and then swear in the kid as Junior Ranger.

Typically, Gabriel poo-pooed it, and Julian took it very seriously. He brought his booklet everywhere, and everything we did had to be relevant to seeing a sight or answering a question in his booklet.



We arrived in jeans, but it was over 100 degrees and we changed to shorts quickly.
We set up camp and then went about exploring a few easy sights to get to.

Zabriskie Point

We started with Zabriskie point. I was very paranoid about doing any hiking without being completely prepared, but a few hundred meters away from the parking lot wasn't really that big a deal, even if it was over 100 degrees.

Incredibly, though it was so hot where we were standing, snow-capped mountains were in view.


Fascinating views, including a peak with frozen lava spilling over it.





The boys wanted to go down into the valley -- though we weren't prepared, I figured a short hike keeping close tabs on the viewer overlook would be OK. And it was.











Incredibly, in this super-harsh climate, some flowers push through and live!






This is one of the easier sights to get to in Death Valley, but no less rewarding.


Artist's Drive

After Zabriskie Point, we drove to "Artist Drive" nearby.

We encountered a stranded motorist who needed only the most basic of equipment: jumper cables. Which of course I had -- doesn't everyone? Turns out, no.

He'd changed a flat earlier in the day, left his hazards on, and now his car battery was dead. Quick jump, here's some baby wipes for your hands, go get a beer dude! It was 102 degrees and below sea level.

Then, on to scenic Artist's Drive.



Including a few stops to gawk at views. The pictures don't capture it, but the assortment and arrangement of colors (all earth tones, of course) was amazing.




We did a little sightseeing, as Julian was determined to fill in some of his Junior Ranger book, but mostly drove to see the sights in the comfort of the car's A/C.

Campsite

Our first night, a ranger held a bonfire talk at our campsite. During the talk, we were treated to a most remarkable moonrise. I wish I had my camera for that, I've never seen anything like it! It was almost like a sunrise in its drama and magnificence and changes, only at night. Meantime, we enjoyed a very animated talk about the wildlife adaptation at Death Valley from the ranger.

It cooled down to about 95 degrees that night. Heat or not, marshmallows were a must!


Still, it was so hot Sunday night, and the boys were fighting so bitterly, that Gabriel liked the idea of "sleeping under the stars." So he slept outside! Why not!



Monday April 18 2011

Titus Canyon

Monday morning my #1 goal was to drive Titus Canyon, a one-way 26-mile road through some amazing canyon formations. I've been through Titus Canyon before in 1994 I believe, as a passenger on a motorcycle, and loved it. It was great to do in a car anyway, and really fun with my enthusiastic boys.

To get to the start of the road, you actually have to drive east out of the park boundary and into Nevada, and then west back into the park.



The start of the road...


...and back into the park.


The first part of the road is straight and easy, we could go about 50mph here.


Kicked up a lot of dust though! (Gabriel took this photo out the back of the car.)


Slower going later through Red Pass. Video-ing while driving -- and to think, people worry about cell phones!




Red Pass. This was much hillier, twistier and redder than most of the road. Really fascinatingly starkly beautiful. Fortunately, sheer dropoffs don't bother me much when there's this much room. Gabriel comments in the video: "I'm scared too, but that's the whole fun!"






The first point of interest after Red Pass is the ghost town of Leadfield. This was a thriving lead-mining town, complete with a post office, for a few short busy years.


We looked at the smattering of old buildings...


...and the mine entrance. People used to live and work here?! Seriously??


Back on the road, we were treated to some more amazing canyon formations. This is entering the actual canyon known as Titus Canyon.

Geologist heaven.


Soon we came across the site where ancient Indian petroglyphs could be found on rocks.


Julian and I climbed up a ways looking for the petroglyphs.


Some joker put a smiley-face here -- this isn't a genuine petroglyph.


Finally Julian and I found the real things.



Back on the road....darn, traffic! This was the 3rd car we came across, so we weren't alone.


The westernmost part of Titus Canyon, toward the end of the one-way road.



Clouds! A rare sight here, as we emerge from the Canyon into the expansive Death Valley itself.


The end! We parked and then walked back in a little ways to find a shady place for lunch and to see it on foot.



We were treated to one of Death Valley's amazingly adapted animals, three chuckwalla lizards (also called "Gila monsters," pronounced "HE-la monster.") They're at least a foot long.






From the Titus Canyon parking lot, I' hadd expected that we'd hike 3 miles to Fall Canyon. But after we set out, it became immediately apparent that 3-mile hikes just weren't going to happen on this trip. Too hot. Well duh -- it is Death Valley. We turned back quickly when it became clear the boys were just not up for any walking-type hiking today.


But not before we saw a zebra-striped lizard. Julian the Junior Ranger candidate recognized it right away.


At least Julian found his Desert Holly plant for his Junior Ranger booklet (even if it was right by the parking lot's permanent port-a-potty).


We were all ready for sit-time after this adventure! We got in the car, cranked the A/C, and drove north to the next sight.

Ubehebe Crater

Next stop: Ubehebe crater. Sounds Hawaiian: Oo-buh-hee-bee crater. A big crater that you can walk around, or down into and back up out of.


Amazing geological layers at the top.


That is one deep hole at the bottom!


Though I didn't see the need, the boys really wanted to go down into the crater. I warned them that going up would be a lot more work than going down, but they were all for it.


The boys on their way down (lower right).


At the bottom! Apparently a roughly 700-foot drop.


We made it!


But getting down was the easy part. Running back up from Ubehebe crater -- at first. The boys started off OK, playing and messing around on their way up.

But they weren't running for long! The trail is deep gravel and it's really steep at the top. Julian pooped out soon, and I had do a lot of encouragement and hand-holding to do to get him up the long, steep, slippery climb. Gabriel had a point to prove, so he pushed it and got up quickly himself.


By now we were hot and tired, and ready to search for some ice cream! First order of business: emptying shoes.


We headed to the closest civilization: nearby Scotty's Casey.

Scotty's Castle

Scotty's Castle is a remarkable oasis in this desert, a lavish mansion built by a swindler in the 1920s. Scotty swindled his Eastern friends into thinking he was making tons of money mining -- and hence needed their investment dollars for more equipment. Instead, he was using their money to build this elaborate mansion.

Julian wanted to take the tour of the house because several items in his "Junior Ranger" booklet scavenger hunt only appeared in Scotty's Castle, but Gabriel didn't want to and I wasn't about to drag him along on a one-hour tour.


There was no ice cream in the Visitor's Center, but I was able to appease them with some Gatorade.

Salt Creek Interpretive Trail

We drove south back toward the campground -- a good 40 miles. On the way, we stopped at Salt Creek. Gabriel was exhausted and stayed in the car - all windows open of course, but I'm sure it got very hot in there.


Julian joined me to check out the Salt Creek Interpretive Trail.


The interpretive trail is a boardwalk around a Salt Creek which hosts "pupfish," an unusually adapted fish for this harsh environment. These fish are small and very active in mating season, which was now.

And we did get to see some very active pupfish.



Julian and I walked along the boardwalk and found a ranger to ask questions of, and Julian got to check off "pupfish" on his Junior Ranger bingo.





Even in 99-degree heat, park rangers are very accommodating and friendly to kids.


Salt Creek itself, a rare salt-water creek that dries up entirely in the later part of the summer.


We piled back in the car and cranked the A/C.

The boys were very happy to be reunited with their new camp friends when we got "home." Two more boys joined the fray, and there was hide-and-seek (or rather, hide-and-shoot) going on for hours. Gabriel and Julian spent hours with several other boys playing some variation of hide-and-seek and annihilating each other with Gabriel's archery set.



And to think, kids give up this aggression and violence for the passivity and focus and safety of video games!

Our next-camp neighbors had 9-year-old twins and a very respectful 13-year-old Boy Scout, all in a military family. I was embarrassed at how poorly behaved my boys were by comparison. Their parents call for them and they stop and answer, "OK Mom!" I call for my boys and they completely ignore me.

At least my boys went right to sleep this night, Gabriel "under the stars" again.

Tuesday April 19, 2011

Today my goal was to see Darwin Falls, which was 56 miles from our campsite at the far western side of the park -- and quite close to the road we'd take to get home.

But I was increasingly concerned about our total 8.5-hr drive home the next day. We were going to drive over 50 miles to get to our hiking trailhead today, then 50 miles back to the campsite tonight -- only to drive back the same 50 miles again the next morning to get out of the park to get home? No. I decided we should pack up camp this morning, drive 50 miles to our hiking destination, then head out of the park.

Using my iPhone for recon, I made a reservation at an EconoLodge in Ridgecrest, then spent an hour and a half packing up camp while the boys played with their camp friends. I only had so much energy to insist they help pack up, but luckily our boy-scout camp neighbors pitched in, showing the boys how to roll up their sleeping bags.

First stop: Visitor's Center next to our campground. For now, it's a temporary building in the Furnace Creek settlement while the real one undergoes renovation. It has very unlikely views, like, a lawn?!


It also has a historical 20-mule wagon on display. Fascinating -- how could 20 mules haul enough water for themselves, let alone enough borax, to make their masters profitable -- and alive by the time they got through the Mojave desert?



OK, enough sightseeing. We went into the Visitor's Center to turn in Julian's Junior Ranger booklet that he'd so carefully filled out. He took an oath, shook the ranger's hand, and was awared a "Junior Ranger" pin and patch that he's SO proud of. I was very proud of him!!



Old Harmony Borax Works

With camp and car packed up, and Julian beaming proudly at his Junior Ranger badge, we headed north to Darwin Falls.

Along the way, I stopped by a historical borax mining and refining site. The boys weren't interested, so I explored it quickly myself while they sat in the car. I hated leaving them in the car in the heat, but they're old enough to get out if they need to.

Borax was the only mineral mined in Death Valley that was ever profitable. It's incredible that any manual labor or transportation ever occurred here. It's actually pretty eerie seeing these buildings in the midst of otherwise desolation.


Mesquite Sand Dunes

The Mesquite Sand Dunes is really the quintessential desert experience -- shades of the Sahara. I'd been there before and found the rolling dunes fascinating.


But the boys were not happy about the sand dunes. They dragged and complained immediately on the short walk we did. It wasn't even "that" hot for Death Valley -- about 94 and with a breeze, so I don't know why they were so lethargic.


I thought it was pretty amazing, but I had to cram those thoughts into about 20 minutes, which was about their max.


Lots of sand in their shoes though!


Mosaic Canyon

Next stop: Mosaic Canyon.

I had low hopes for another hike after the sand dunes, and indeed endured lots of complaining at first. But ahoy there -- lo the rocks!


Once they saw how much scrambling there was to do, they perked right up. The more technical and interesting the climbing, the better. It was a lovely canyon, with fascinating beautiful rock formations, smooth and elegant, and filled with interesting twists and turns and textures, and lots of shade.

We took a few detours, some for climbing, others for views, and this was great fu. The boys loved Mosaic Canyon, and so did I. This was by far our best outing, we all loved it.

I can't imagine being in this canyon when it rains and it flash-floods!

The interesting part of the canyon is pretty short, leading out to an open dry riverbed. The trail goes far past that, but I'd learned my lesson about hiking here: keep it short.



This rock is amazing -- so pretty and so smooth in places.


Like Titus Canyon, a geologist's paradise. Awesome tilted layered rock formations.




Once we reached the "end" of the tall canyon walls, we played a little. Gabriel climbed up this big rock, so Julian and I couldn't resist following him.



Across the dry riverbed from our climbing rock, the boys climbed up to a little ledge on a cliff.


Then they wanted to walk up to a vantage point.



From there, we could look down on the open dry riverbed area. That big rock island sticking out is not where we climbed up to get photos -- the eensy teensy tiny one on its left is.


The view from the top.


Don't look down!


(Behind them and about 50 feet down is the trail we took to get here.)


We found a shady spot and had lunch, then walked back to the parking lot. This was easy -- slightly downhill, and it looked like a totally different hike in the other direction.

Julian especially had a great time running around the remarkable rock formations, and showing off how much fun he was having.





A place of contrasts -- this beautiful canyon behind me, then this vast flat valley in front.


What a delightful hike! I really learned my lesson from this. The more climbing and scrambling and contours and obstacles, the better. The boys don't do well with just plain old "walking" sorts of hikes -- they need to use their hands.

We drove to nearby Stovepipe Wells, the second-largest settlement in Death Valley, for some much-deserved water, ice cream, and souvenirs. Revived, we were ready for our last adventure: Darwin Falls.

Darwin Falls

This was an oddball hike in that if it weren't in Death Valley, it'd be just like any other old hike to a falls. But this was Death Valley -- leafy trails along gurgling creeks just aren't the norm, so we just had to see it.

The drive to Darwin Falls was a short (2.5 miles) dirt detour off the main road, but with more washboard and big rocks than Titus Canyon had had.


We found the pitted, bare-bones parking lot with barely a sign to indicate the Darwin Falls trailhead. I noticed that the road continued on with dire warnings of 4WD only. Maybe next time!

The walk through the first wide part of the canyon was delightful and started out easy. They boys were in a great mood, and both wanted to hold my hand. We had so much fun talking about what was around us and what the falls would be like.


Lucky us -- another zebra-tailed lizard! Junior Ranger Julian took note of the species with authority.


Green started to appear on the trail. Then a most fascinating rock appearing to teeter atop another rock...it looked like it'd tumble off any moment.


Soon the trail got narrower and more technical, and we had to scramble back and forth across the stream as the trail meandered along it. Many areas could only be crossed by teetering on narrow logs that were lain down across shallow river-soaked trail.


In some places, we had to decide if we wanted to climb up across rocks or try to balance on logs across water. Gabriel and I decided to climb in sections like these. (Notice how he hums to himself the whole way.)


As we got closer to the falls, and the "trail" got trickier. I really had to help Julian across this part.


We're there!


We found the falls very pretty, but the pool under it very cold. I think Gabriel thought we were going to play in it like a regular pool -- no way! It got deep too fast and was truly icy cold. And no wonder -- we'd seen plenty of snow-capped 8000-feet-high mountains nearby. This water is the snow runoff.


Getting your feet wet was invigorating, once you got used to it.




Julian opted to play on the trees nearby, and never went into the water.


After some granola bars and creative foot-drying (hankie, anyone), we got our shoes back on and crossed the stream again. Getting back across was just as tricky, but at least we knew what we were in for.




After crossing back from the falls, we took a little climbing detour to get a better view of the falls.



This was a pretty technical place to climb up -- and down. Though Julian is a more agile climber than Gabriel, Gabriel is braver, and went up higher here.




Getting down is always harder!


It always seems faster on the way back, but it was still technical in spots.


Once we were out of the canopied area, the sun was getting low in the canyon, making for some lovely colors.


That was it!

Once we drove back to the pavement, it was time to say regretful goodbyes to Death Valley.

Panamint Valley Road was only a few miles from the Darwin Falls turnoff, and turned out to be just as fast, if not faster, than 395N to 190E that I'd taken into Death Valley, and at least 30 miles shorter. Way better. This road was remarkable in its desolation -- apart from the road itself, there was absolutely no sign of human habitation. For long stretches, there were no signs, no poles, towers, grates, let alone houses. And forget cell service!

It was about 90 miles to Ridgecrest, where we went straight to a Denny's, where milkshakes were our grand welcome back to civilization.


We stayed in a motel right next to a U.S. Naval Weapons Training Center that was launching fighter jets on a regular basis right next door. I was in heaven before the F-18s were!

The next morning, it was a quick breakfast at the (thank you!) motel, then an epic drive from Ridgecrest to Sunnyvale starting at 8:30am, with only one short stop for gas/bathroom/snack/clean windshield. I'm a hard-core road-tripper, and they're gonna be too! This can be done with no DVDs, electronics or food in the car with kids if you're willing to put up with some activity. The boys read much of the time, but at least an hour was spent with more....er, lively entertainment.


All in all, the trip back was 475 miles, with about 125 done on Tuesday and 350 done on Wednesday in 5 hours. We were home by 2pm.


I wasn't so happy about the boys' reluctance to help me unpack the car -- this really has to change -- but we got at last part of the de-camping done. My car is so dusty I don't want to touch it.

Conclusion

This was really an amazing trip. California has so many beautiful scenic lush national parks -- Death Valley is spectacular in a different way. Plus it's available at a different time of year than others. In April, many park campsites will be snowed under for months to come.

In Death Valley, it's nice and warm at night -- no heating up water to wash dishes, no setting up tents in gloves, no dreading getting out of the tent in the morning. No foraging raccoons in your garbage (but do batten down your bread against birds), no bear risk, no bugs to speak of, and no poison oak. Not a lot of shaded campsites, but #85 in Furnace Creek was one, and worked just fine. And you can sleep outside if you can't stand sharing a tent with your brother.

We couldn't hike as long as I'd expected; the boys pooped out fast in the heat, even on Monday when the temps stayed down in the double-digits. I'd have thought the sand dunes would be a huge hit, but they dragged and complained on those. Mosaic Canyon, on the other hand -- the bomb! Lots of cool climbing and features. They loved that. So did I. Quality over quantity for them.

Darwin Falls was probably the highlight, but it struck me that if not for being in Death Valley, it wouldn't be such an unusual hike. Hikes that involve crossing streams multiple times on logs and stones and scaling canyon walls with the climax being a waterfall are dime-a-dozen -- except in Death Valley.

California is an amazing place. I gazed up at snow-capped mountains from below sea level in 102 degree weather, thinking that a week ago, I'd been skiing. There are more National Parks, National Seashores, National Monuments, National Recreation Areas and National Things that are run by the National Park Service than I can count -- just in this state alone!

I was talking to Gabriel about Yellowstone, and he asked, "isn't there another one in California that starts with 'Y'?" Uhhh, yeah, like, hello, YOSEMITE?! Why haven't we been there?! We live in California for Pete's sake, it feels like a damn-near responsibility to honor these amazing places. And there are yet more remarkable places that aren't National Parks. Where are we going to next?!

Well, for now I can enjoy another lovely memory of a fascinating trip with my wonderful boys, and be so grateful and happy that we have each other to do them with together.

4/20/2011

(Note: this post was actually completed July 10. It took months mostly because of an excessive number of poor photos taken by a poor photographer with a poor camera. It incorporates the initial thoughts I wrote when we first returned from the trip with photos and video, which say far more about our trip than words can.)

4/20/2011 Home again!

We're back! That is, the boys and I are back from our camping trip to Death Valley National Park.

We left Saturday afternoon, April 16, and stayed overnight in Bakersfield. From Bakersfield, it took a stunning 4-1/2 hours to reach the Furnace Creek campground in Death Valley. I really underestimated that -- I thought it'd take 2 hours to get to "Death Valley." But "Death Valley" is 100 miles across in places. Getting to the border still means a long long drive in.

We still arrived Sunday afternoon in enough time to get one of the primo shaded campsites I'd planned on, though not the primo shaded campsite away from the RV generators. Still, the generators weren't bad at all (off at 7pm).

We set up camp and went about exploring the easy sights to get to : Artist's Drive, Zabriskie point (with some hiking), and general acclimation. We arrived in jeans, but it was over 100 degrees and we changed to shorts quickly.

On our way to Artist's Drive, we encountered a stranded motorist who needed only the most basic of equipment: jumper cables. Which of course I had -- doesn't everyone? He'd changed a flat earlier in the day, left his hazards on, and now his car battery was dead. Quick jump, here's some baby wipes for your hands, go get a beer dude! It was 102 degrees and below sea level.

A ranger held a bonfire talk at our campsite that night, where we were treated to a most remarkable moonrise. I wish I had my camera for that, I've never seen anything like it! It was almost like a sunrise in its drama and magnificence and changes, only at night. Meantime, we enjoyed a very animated talk about the wildlife adaptation at Death Valley from the ranger.

It was so hot that night, and the boys were fighting so bitterly, that Gabriel liked the idea of "sleeping under the stars." So he slept outside! Why not!

Monday morning my top #1 goal was to drive Titus Canyon, a 1-way 26-mile road through some amazing canyon formations. I've been through this before, as a passenger on a motorcycle (because mine wouldn't start below sea level, who knew?!), and loved it. It was great to do in a car anyway, and really great with my enthusiastic boys. We stopped to see a lead-mining ghost town, and some Indian petroglyphs.

There's a hike to Fall Canyon at the end, but we quickly realized that 3-mile hikes just weren't going to happen on this trip. Too hot. Well duh -- it is Death Valley. We enjoyed some chowchilla "Hila Monster" lizards, and a zebra-striped lizard, then had lunch in some shade in Titus Canyon, and were on our way to the next adventure.

Next stop: Ubehebe crater! Sounds Hawaiian: Oo-buh-hee-bee crater. A big crater that you can walk around, or down into and back up out of. The boys opted for the latter. Naturally it was easy getting down, but getting back up was brutal. Julian needed a lot of encouragement, but Gabriel had a point to prove, so he pushed it.

On to nearby Scotty's Castle for ice cream (which they didn't have). Julian wanted to take the tour because of the "Junior Ranger" program. The rangers give kids a booklet with things to fill out and projects to do, to show how they've learned about Death Valley. If they complete the booklet, they take an oath and get a handshake and get a badge and a patch showing that they're now a "Junior Ranger."

Julian took the Junior Ranger thing very seriously and really wanted to do a Scotty's Castle Treasure Hunt in the booklet, but I couldn't imagine keeping the boys composed in a "grownup place" for a whole hour. Gabriel was already complaining and didn't want to do it. So we looked at the amazing Scotty's Castle building from the outside and the grounds, but not inside. Julian was happy that he'd found a Desert Holly plant though, crossing off an item on the Bingo page.

Next stop: Salt Creek Interpretive Trail, a boardwalk around a salty creek which hosts "pupfish," an unusually adapted fish for this harsh environment. They're small and very active in mating season, which is pretty much always for them. Julian and I walked along the boardwalk and found a ranger to ask questions of. he got to check off "pupfish" on his Junior Ranger bingo. Gabriel stayed in the car.

At the campsite, the boys made some friends. Our next-camp neighbors had 9-year-old twins and a very respectful 13-year-old Boy Scout, all in a military family. I was embarrassed at how poorly behaved my boys were by comparison! Two other boys from two other families joined the fray, and there was hide-and-seek (or rather, hide-and-shoot) going on for hours. They had a GREAT time. The boys went right to sleep this night, Gabriel "under the stars" again.

Tuesday morning, I was increasingly concerned about our total 8.5-hr drive home the next day. Also, we wanted to see Darwin Falls, which was 56 miles from our campsite, though only a few miles from a Panamint Valley Road, a way out of Death Valley.

Using my iPhone for recon, I made a reservation at an EconoLodge in Ridgecrest, and decided that we'd pack up, enjoy sights along the 54-mile drive east to Darwin Falls, then rather than driving back 54 miles west to the campsite, and doing it yet again east to go home the next day, that we'd save ourselves 108 miles of driving by de-camping, visiting Darwin Falls, then going straight south on Panamint Valley Road.

Good plan, and as it turned out, good plan! First stop: Visitor's Center, where we turned in Julian's Junior Ranger booklet that he'd so carefully filled out. He took an oath, shook the ranger's hand, and was awared a "Junior Ranger" pin and patch that he's SO proud of. And I'm proud of him!!

We stopped by a historical borax mining and refining site, but the boys weren't interested. I explored it quickly while they sat in the car. Even with all the windows open, and they're old enough to get out if they need to, I hate leaving them in the car if this heat.

Then we stopped by the Mesquite Sand Dunes, which is really the quintessential desert experience. Boys were not happy; dragging and complaining. It wasn't even "that" hot for Death Valley -- about 94 and with a breeze, so I don't know why they were so lethargic.

Then Mosaic Canyon. Lots of complaining at first, but once they saw how much scrambling there was to do on rocks, they perked right up!! The more technical and interesting the climbing, the better. It was a lovely canyon, and we took a few detours, and they loved it. So did I.

Next stop: Stovepipe Wells, a built-up town, for some water and ice cream, and a few souvenirs. Revived, they were ready for our last adventure: Darwin Falls.

This was an oddball hike in that if you weren't in Death Valley, it'd be just like any other old hike to a falls. But this was Death Valley -- permanent water sources just aren't the norm. The walk through the wide part of the canyon was delightful, then it got narrower and more technical as we had to scramble back and forth across the stream to reach the falls. We did, and found the falls very pretty, but the pool under it very cold. It felt just like melted snow -- and ding ding ding! No wonder! We'd seen plenty of snow-capped mountains from our 100-degree sea-level perspective.

After some fancy hiking back to the car, I got a final test of my offroad motorcyling chops in a big heavy car with 4 wheels (same principles, just applied to a much heavier more cumbersome vehicle with a great deal more mass). The road to Darwin Falls was short (2.5 miles), but with more washboard and big rocks than Titus Canyon had had. Years of un-learning the instinctual Death Grip on steering devices and being comfortable with drifting and sliding served me well here. I'm no expert off-roader, but I'm a lot more comfortable than most paved-only driver, and found I was going much faster than most other cars on the non-pavement.

Once back on the pavement, it was time to say regretful goodbyes to Death Valley.

Panamint Valley Road was only a few miles from the Darwin Falls turnoff, and turned out to be just as fast if not faster than 395N to 190E that I'd taken into Death Valley, and at least 30 miles shorter. Way better.

And so interesting. I've never seen such desolation -- miles and miles of not so much as a road sign or power pole or anything indicating humans other than the road itself. Amazing.

This brought us to Ridgecrest, where we had traffic lights, Denny's, a motel to stay in, and a U.S. Naval Weapons Center that was launching fighter jets on a regular basis right outside our motel. I was in heaven before they were!

Quick breakfast at the motel (thank you!), then we left Ridgecrest at 8:30am and arrived home at 2:00pm, buzzed but gloriously satisfied. Our drive from Ridgecrest was epic -- 5.5 hours with only one short stop for gas, clean windshield, granola bar, bathroom break. This with no DVDs, electronics or food in the car for kids. I'm a hard-core road-tripper, and they're gonna be too! All in all, the trip back was 475 miles, with perhaps 125 done on Tuesday and 350 done on Wednesday (I didn't keep track of the split).

I wasn't so happy about the boys' reluctance to help me unpack the car -- this really has to change -- but we got at last part of the de-camping done. My car is so dusty I don't want to touch it.

This was really an amazing trip. California has so many national parks -- why Death Valley of all places? Simple: because the boys had off school in mid-April, and because most campsites in mid-April are too darned cold. Many of them will be snowed under for months yet to come in fact. There are other places to camp besides National Parks, but there's never any disappointment in those.

Turns out, there are some serious advantages to camping in a Death Valley climate: it's warm. OK, it's hot depending on time of year, but it's nice and warm at night. No heating up water to wash dishes, no setting up tents in gloves, no dreading getting out of the tent in the morning. No foragers in your garbage (but do batten down your bread against birds), no bear risk, no bugs to speak of, and no poison oak. Not a lot of shaded campsites, but #85 in Furnace Creek was one, and worked just fine. And you can sleep outside if you can't stand sharing a tent with your brother.

We couldn't hike as long as I'd expected; the boys pooped out fast in the heat, even on Monday when the temps stayed in the double-digits. I'd have thought the sand dunes would be a huge hit, but they dragged and complained on those. Mosaic Canyon, on the other hand -- the bomb! Lots of cool climbing and features. They loved that. So did I. Quality over quantity for them.

Darwin Falls was probably the highlight, but it struck me that if not for being in Death Valley, it wouldn't be such an unusual hike. Hikes that involve crossing streams multiple times on logs and stones and scaling canyon walls with the climax being a waterfall are dime-a-dozen -- except in Death Valley.

California is an amazing place. Two days ago, I was gazing up at snow-capped mountains from below sea level in 102 degree weather, thinking that a week ago, I'd been skiing. There are more National Parks, National Seashores, National Monuments, National Recreation Areas and National Things that are run by the National Park Service than I can count -- just in this state alone!

I was talking to Gabriel about Yellowstone, and he asked, "isn't there another one in California that starts with 'Y'?" Uhhh, yeah, like, hello, YOSEMITE?! Why haven't we been there?! We live in California for Pete's sake, it feels like a damn-near responsibility to honor these amazing places. And there are yet more remarkable places that aren't National Parks. Where are we going to next?!

Well, for now I can enjoy another lovely memory of a fascinating trip with my wonderful boys, and be so grateful and happy that we have each other to do them with together.

4/20/2011

4/16/2011 Pre-pre soccer game

Amidst the mad preparations for our trip, I still attended Gabriel's soccer game this afternoon. My plan was to drop him off and come back, but it was just too fun and I ended up staying for the whole thing

It's fun despite the fact that it's not altogether a competitive game. My Las Madres friend who coaches the team we played last week was there again, and she confirmed for me that a few outstanding players can totally change the game, and that our coach's son is really really good. He belongs in a competitive league really, it's almost silly for him, and everyone else, for him to be playing at this level.

But even when #8 isn't in the game, or is goalkeeper, a few other really good teammates blow away the competition, and that's kind of a shame.

Gabriel is seriously outclassed in terms of skill and ball manipulation compared to his teammates, he doesn't understand the rules of the game (offsides, anyone?), he's by far the smallest, and for once, he's not the fastest. But being as objective as I can be, he is among the most tenacious and confident relative to his lack of experience. I was really, really proud to see how hard he worked, how he was always in the action, how he always called to get the ball passed to him, even if he didn't entirely know what to do when he got it.

I know that watching soccer video is pretty dull to others, but being there and watching was really fun and exciting -- so much action, so much change, so much physicality. (Are girls like this in soccer too?!)

A long rally in which Gabriel (#2) is right in there, the ball goes back and forth. I love the moment when #8 trips, but gets the ball free by kicking it behind him. You can hear Gabriel's coach (who pronounces Gabriel's name "Gah-bri-elle") calling "SKILLS!".

Eventually the inevitable breakaway happens and #8 makes a run on the goal, handily evading his opponents. This time, the poor purple team's goalie stopped it, and we all cheered. (Gabriel's team is in light blue.)

A short clip in which Gabriel and Ivan (awesome #8) are swarmed by the opposing team, and some of their teammates are just walking! Eventually a purple opponent kicks it clear of the traffic.


It got so that our coach told his son to quit scoring -- if the game is too skewed, the refs stop it. His son, despite being such a good player, is still just a little boys, and started to cry in frustration. He sat out the second half, sulking, until the second-best player got hurt (nothing serious but he couldn't play anymore) and #8 was back in, still with orders not to score. "Why can't I SCOOORE?!!!" he wailed. He walked around hanging his head at first, but he couldn't resist joining the game.

The opposing team played hard, then scored a goal. So #8 Ivan (pronounced Ee-VOHN, Serbian parents) was told, OK, you can score now. Within 5 minutes, he scored 3 times.






I'm torn between totally enjoying watching Gabriel's terrific teammates, and wondering if this is really Gabriel's best intro to soccer. He needs to learn a little about losing!! Then again, it's probably good for him to be surrounded by much better players, to keep his lofty ego in check and force him to play at a much higher level.

This soccer-mom thing is a blast! But now it's time to go be camping Mom. See you next week!

4/16/2011

4/15/2011 Camping to-do list

Set up my new tent and confirm it all works
Shop for perishable foods and ice
Get self-lighting charcoal
Pack clothes, including swimsuits and hats
Make cookies
Finish packing cooking equipment and food
Get the boys haircuts
Gabriel has to work on his book report
Gabriel has a soccer game at 12:00
Julian has Kung Fu at 1:00
If time, sign up for summer camps
Send note to manager that I'm meeting with HR next week
Finish Dad's tax stuff
Put away ski stuff.

....huh, oh, ummmm -- where are we? Oops, this is my blog, not tomorrow's to-do list. Well, I guess it is now. 'Scuse me.

Can you believe it -- I was skiing just a few days ago. And now I have to dig up shorts and hats and swimstuff to go do summer camping. Arguably Dad's taxes are more urgent than lovingly cradling my ski boots and lying them down tenderly for a long summer's nap, but even if neither of those get done, we're going.

Tomorrow late afternoon, the boys and I will drive away with a car loaded with camping equipment and spirits loaded with excitement about our next outdoor adventure together!

It's unfortunate that it has to start in Bakersfield, but such is the reality of going to one of the hottest places on the planet: many of the more direct routes are still closed due to snow. I've been to Death Valley once, about 15 years ago, and it's WELL past time to go again. I'm so excited to show my boys what an amazing place we live in.


4/15/2011

4/14/2011 Open House

Our school had a classroom "open house" tonight. Good thing Julian brought home an invitation, or I'd never have known about it. Gabriel didn't tell me anything about it.

Gabriel's class was showing videos of their poetry reports. Gabriel's teacher told me that he was robbed, because somehow the video recording of his "How To" report, about making a battery from lemons, was lost, and she said that was much better, though he did get some good laughs during his poetry presentation too.

Gripe as they do, I think this early emphasis on presentation is really good.

We non-volunteer parents rarely get a chance to really look at the classroom and their work posted to the wall, so this was a nice opportunity. The class had done paintings of flowers in an oil pastel, for example -- I had no idea Gabriel had ever done that. Gabriel's teacher told me that he resists anything the art teacher asks the class to do, but he will do art projects she asks for. Gabriel's desk also had a stack of his stories and compositions to show parents, that was interesting.

I took the boys alone while Dave had a nice quiet dinner alone with Chatty-Katty, so I had to boogie between the 3rd-grade and 1st-grade classrooms during the short 1/2-hour open-house.

Julian's classroom had a Rain Forest theme, and this was really impressive. Every art project, composition, story, in-class book report, and task that the 1st-graders have done for the past 3 months were related to Rain Forests, and were posted to the walls. Julian was excited to show me his craft project of a red frog, a coloring of a Toucan, a Tiger stripe collage, his report about gorillas, a story about saving the rain forest, and many other things I can't remember. I think this would make the granola "whole-learning" crowd pretty happy -- this was great!


I was struck immediately by the drastic difference in social scenes between Gabriel and Julian's classrooms. Gabriel has a very familiar and comfortable rapport with his longtime pal Parth, a super-nice kid I adore too. They were in kindergartenn together and really do know each other well, and are very relaxed together.

Julian, on the other hand, was approached by kid after kid after kid: "HI JULIAN!!" Kids ran up to him to tell him something, to say hi, to pull his Rain Forest hat off, to kid around. Julian's teacher told me that he's extremely well-liked, and this contributes to his problems concentrating. He's very very social and easily distracted.



Though our evenings rarely have room for diversions like this, it was really worthwhile and fun. I had a rare good day at work today (Mr. Horrible was out of sight all day), so I wasn't as tense and snappy to deal with the boys. It really was nice to see the classrooms, chat with other parents and their teachers. Someday maybe our discussions will entirely exclude behavior discussions. Someday maybe my work will be the same!!

4/14/2011

4/12/2011 The Site is Now on Fire

Jack Prelutzky has been quite the influence around here.

I bought two of his children's poem's books. One with a collection of his poems (minus his most-favorite "When Fred Gets Out of Bed," and one book that talks about experiences in his childhood and adult life that led to the poems. The boys have been reading these books a lot, and Julian has also branced to Shel Silverstein books that he finds at the CDC.

This trickles down to Katrina, somehow. Tonight she asked for a pen and pencil, to write "a poem." And that she did, making the classic preschooler's mistake: no spaces between words.

No title
The site is now on fire!
Well that's not a good thing
The site is on fire!
Yes
Uh-oh
Huhhhh?
the site is not on fire.
Yes it is.
All right.
The end!

Definitely for mother's eyes, but these mother's eyes are proud. Her willingness to write this (no help!), both mechanically and creatively, shows the same penchant toward creative writing that I did as a kid. Hmm, on the other hand...poor kid!

4/12/2011

4/11/11 Ski bum day

I went skiing today!!!!!!

I was on the bus at 4:15am, and after two stops, at Sierra-at-Tahoe by about 9:00. It was warm but not super warm -- cooler than the last time I'd been there, with everyone last January.

One thing that was different was a lot more snow. A deck shot of Lake Tahoe at the top of the Grandview lift in January.

(January 2011)

Same place today (notice the sign in the corner to identify snowfall).

(April 2011)

I had enough time for a run or two before a 10:15am lesson, and immediately tackled my former nemesis slope Lower Main. Piece'a'pie! The conditions were better than last time we were here (none of that crusty stuff Californians whine about as "ice"), but our recent 3 days at Sugarbowl (and 3 great lessons for me) really played in too. Lower Main is officially mine.

Lesson time -- lucky me, my favorite instructor from our January trip to Sierra-at-Tahoe remembered me, and made sure to teach my "group." Which turned out to be a group of 1, since I was the only one at my level.

My instructor was quite the cut-up with his raunchy jokes, but I really liked his technical instruction and exercises and making me do the exercises for an extended time. He was great at judging when I needed to just ski and stop thinking, and when I had to think! I like the thinking part, I really need to be told exactly what to do, and was concentrating to hard on what to do that I wouldn't notice that I was on a slope I'd normally shift into survival mode. Though for some reason skiing appeals to the bottom of my heart, I'm no natural. Whatever few talents in life I was granted, skiing wasn't among them. I'd happily trade spelling for skiing.

I also think my instructor liked my happy demeanor. I once heard a woman greeting her instructor with, "I don't like skiing -- I'm only doing this because my husband wants me to." That can't be fun to teach to! I tell instructors no, I can't do that; no, never done that, well, sorta, but it could use a lot more work -- BUT -- lemme at it, take me to the trees or terrain park or black diamons and tell me what to do, please!!

After a lot of exercises, my instructor took me on some cut-up mogul-y stuff under a lift (parallel to slope "Clipper," under the lift "West Bowl Express") twice. This time wasn't flailing for my life, though it wasn't pretty. I actually sort of knew what to do and wasn't terrified, though my trip down was hardly elegant.

I daresay that my instructor expressed some respect in how willing I was to try things so far beyond my ability. Instructors really like it when ski students are willing and have a great time, even when they're scared and stink at something. That's me! Scared and stink!

"Are you up for an adventure?" he asked. Like you have to ask! Of course! OK, so, here's the adventure.


This was great -- lots of slipping and sliding to tack across a wooded area to get to "Avalanche Bowl", another cut-up area with short but very steep chewed-up spots. Still, "short" is relative -- 10 feet of impossible "short" is still "impossible." "Com-MIT!" he'd call to me to persuade me to turn decisively and aggressively. This was no place to think about it -- make a plan, fast, and stick to it. (Another basic principle that carries over from dirt riding.) I had no choice except to humiliate myself by calling for ski patrol, and besides, I wanted to try the precipices.

This photo is cruel in its inaccuracy -- realy, Avalanche Bowl is for real, and well above anything I've done before! And SOOOOOOO fun.


After my most awesome private lesson, I thanked my instructo profusely, then took a lunch break. I was still tired, but wasn't going to lose one scrap of a second of skiing time before I had to get on the bus.

I stuck to the West Bowl area, and did Clipper (the main black diamond in the area) numerous times, especially since the afternoon sun was bringing out the worst in spring skiing: the sudden slowdown. It's freaky -- you're zipping along in the shade and then all of a sudden it's like someone hits the brakes in the sunny snow. With trees casting long shadows across the slopes, this makes for a very unpredictable stop-start sort of feeling. The steeper slopes are actually easier to ski in those conditions. Blacks turn to blues in spring; I'm under no illusion that I could zip down Clipper in January!

A kind man took some video for me. Only the first 10 seconds worth it. I didn't have a groove on here, but it probably wouldn't show up anyway.


I went on a blue run (Dogwood) that I'd done in January, and couldn't resist a tempting grove of trees next to it. How lost could I get?

Well, pretty lost. You might basically know where to go (downhill), but it's not at all clear how to get out. I thought I was taking a little detour off of Dogwood and would get right back on it, but instead I dropped into another bowl and was well below where I'd dropped in, and had no choice but to head away from where I'd planned to return to. The snow was really soft here, and with all the trees, I wasn't really "skiing,", though I did a lot of slipping sideways. I was pretty sure if I kept going in one direction I'd reach Clipper again, but I had a few moments of not being so sure about that, and wondering how good the cell service was!


Moments after taking this photo, I found the way out and stuck to the trails after that. This was no time to get lost or more likely, stuck -- I had a bus to catch!

I topped off the day with Lower Main one last time, skiing it as well as I've skiied anything, especially considering how tired I was by then. For the first time, I felt like I was really skiing. Still shaky, still inconsistent, still lots of rookie mistakes, but starting to solidify base-level competence and fill in some gaps. That's why I was here today. A perfect way to finish off the season for good!!

The bus ride home was fun too. I chatted with a few young guys, all snowboarders, including a really interesting one from Sweden who lives in Norway. His Norwegian ID wasn't accepted at Safeway, so I bought his six of beer for him. Now that's the way to make friends with a bunch of ridin' dudes! Mostly I was in sharp observation mode: it won't be long before my sons will be their age. One young man told me his mom never took him camping or skiiing or airshows, and he said in it a way that I self-servingly take to mean that this means something to little boys. I hope so. It sure means the world to me.

The ski bus has its problems -- I got lucky and my bus wasn't packed, so I was able to sleep a little. It's hard to sleep even with two seats. But I loved, LOVED feeling taken-care-of! No driving, navigation, scheduling dilemmas, packing and especially, no caring for kids. I'm truly psyched to ski with the boys when Julian is ready, and when Gabriel can carry his owns skis.

What a phenomenal day! I'm exhausted, but SO psyched! That was total fun!! I can't believe I have to wait until November to do it again!

4/11/11

4/10/2011 Trip prep

What an amazing place California is.

I spent the day getting ready for a camping trip next weekend, leaving next Saturday afternoon after Gabriel's soccer game. I'm taking the boys to Death Valley, on the first day of "off-peak" summer season. Peak season in Death Valley is in winter months, when it isn't deathly hot, and when desert wildflowers are blooming. We'll miss the wildflowers, but I'm hoping we'll sneak in before the triple-digit temperatures start.

So while I'm thinking about a hot camping trip, I'm also getting ready to go skiing!

I'm boarding a ski bus tomorrow at 4:15am and we should arrive at Sierra-at-Tahoe right as the lifts open. It's spring skiing season -- not the best snow conditions, but despite a great ski year we managed to hit two very strange weekends for conditions anyway. It doesn't matter, it'll be a great day for me anyway.

I SO need to remove myself from a ridiculous work situation and refocus my energy and attention on what's really important. Like skiing and camping in the same week!

4/10/11

4/9/2011 The Hamburger

A rock acting as a hamburger??

4/9/2011 Soccer Game

I've had a most extraordinary few days. Too much so.

Thursday, I had my annual employee review, which is supposed to be with my manager to go over my strengths and weaknesses and performance ratings.

But Mr. Horrible took over my review and saw it as an opportunity to take pot-shots at me, apparently completely confident that he can do whatever he wants and it will have no repercussions. Despite the best efforts of my real manager, my review was filled with unsupportable nonsensical complaints, including that I'm pretentious. Pretentious! Anyone who knows me and my formidibale portfolio of faults knows that I stink at pretense.

But Human Resources reviews are a rare link between we peons and the real world. And they're in writing. We've shifted to my element.

I've spent 2 days crafting a lengthy 9-page response, with hours of Dave's help in editing, and am bracing myself for a major fight next week. This is WAY preferable to enduring the astounding incompetence, nepotism, and personal attacks I've had to live with in the past year. I'm so ready to expose these ridiculous open secrets. We've all been playing this game of "The Emporer Has No Clothes," pretending my boss's boss is competent, sucking up to him because he has some sort of history and common culture with his boss. But now it seems I'll be the child who finally blurts out the obvious truth.

Two nights ago I was up until almost 4am, and last night again very late. The tension and stress is indescribable, how this consumes and eats at me. I just can't stand the wrongness of it all; I can't live with it and brush it off and compartmentalize as my far more mature and secure (real) manager and some coworkers can. The wrongness and injustice burns away at me.

But this has a serious personal cost. I spent last Thursday night snapping at everyone in my family, then holing myself up in the office and writing almost nonstop until well into the wee hours. Much of the next morning and night were spent doing the same, and I delivered my extremely strong, damning, 9-page written complaint very late Friday night (or early Saturday morning if you want to be technical about it).

So task #1 today was: de-stress. Get yourself out of Norma-Rae mode. Not easy when people you care about are seriously suffering. Dave and his very strong work ethic, high personal standards and exemplary work performance allow me to put myself in a position to be fired or quit, but many of my coworkers and my manager are their family's primary support and don't have that luxury. The rabble I'm rousing will create serious heartburn for other people, even if they agree it's necessary. Thanks to Dave, I'm have the financial wherewithall to make waves, but I'm painfully aware that my actions can put others into far deeper dilemmas than I have. And this creates tremendous stress on me, even if I believe I'm doing the right thing. What even is the right thing -- maintaining your professional ethic or supporting your family?

So when Gabriel had a soccer game today, I decided to stay and watch, be outside for a while, and wrestle my burdened mind out of its dark abyss.

Gabriel and I arrived half an hour early, same as the coach had requested last week. We never got an email this week, so I wasn't sure if we needed to be early, but in my life now I err on the side of early. My poor friends in high school waiting for me for over half an hour on smelly subway platforms would be shocked at my grown-up attention to promptness!

Turns out, no one else except another kid arrived early, but he and Gabriel practiced together. The other kid is a tall, skinny 10yo 5th-grader who's remarkably calm and polite. I liked him immediately, and cheered loud when he scored a goal during the game.




This week, Gabriel wasn't goalie the whole game, so he did a lot of running. I was interested to see how confident and competitive he is -- he gets right in there, aggressively going after the ball.



Though I miss the pomp and circumstance of baseball, soccer is a lot more exciting to watch. It helped that the coach of the opposing team was a longtime friend from Las Madres. Our sons had the same due date, though hers was born premature and so now is in 4th grade -- but here we are, 9 years later, watching our sons play each other in soccer!

The game was pretty unmatched though. Soccer lends itself to stars, and it seems Gabriel's team has a few stars, including his coach's son. When that kid gets the ball, he blows everyone else away and changes the whole game. It's really cool to watch, though it's sort of outside the "spirit" of kids' sports. No wonder when Gabriel was goalie last week he didn't do much -- his teams' offense is so strong he was alone on his end of the field for most of the game.

With 2 extra players, some of Gabriel's team had to sub out, and Gabriel's coach wisely had his superstar son sit out some of it. That made it possible for Gabriel's teammates -- including Gabriel to some extent -- actually play, and then it looked more like a 9-year-old boys' soccer game. (While that's all warm-n-fuzzy, truth is I missed watching the awesome kid.)

Gabriel really stands out from his team in certain ways. He's by far the shortest and skinniest. He's among the weakest in skills, and no wonder -- many of the other boys have played for 4-5 seasons now, and some have played together for numerous seasons. This really counts in soccer, I observed today.

Gabriel is also one of the most clueless -- he doesn't understand the rules of the game, or the routine, such as when halftime happens and everyone is off the field getting a snack or a drink. He's still out there staring at the sky!

But he has his strengths. He's competitive, he's aggressive, he's confident, and he's in the game. He had the nerve to call to the super-duper kid "I'm HERE! PASS TO ME!!" At this age and skill level (everyone's accepted), boys are only so-so at passing to each other; they get the ball and they want to keep it. I noticed that the boys who've played together for a few years seemed to radar each other and were much better at passing.

Gabriel's team dominated the game as they had last week, so toward the end, the coaches instituted a "two-touch" rule, meaning, a player on Gabriel's team could only touch the ball twice, then had to pass. I knew Gabriel would have no idea what this was about, and he didn't. Then later they designated just one kid at a time on Gabriel's team who could score. And since no one on Gabriel's team wanted to be goalie, they stopped bothering with sticking a kid in the goal position -- all the action was at the poor opposing team's goal anyway.

Despite these measures, Gabriel's team won easily anyway. He was thrilled, but I'm not 100% convinced that having a few boys on his team who are so outstanding is so good for him. No wonder he wanted to be goalie last week, he knew he was outclassed by his teammates, and I saw that today!

At the "U10" level (that means young-age-10 and under), self-esteem still factors into the rules, and the games aren't allowed to be total blowouts. Hence the "two-touch" and "only-one-player-can-score" rules. Self-esteem and confidence have never been in Gabriel's top 20 of issues, so it's almost a shame he's not on a worse team, since he can totally take losing. On the other hand, it's probably also good for him to be around other boys who are so good. And around other boys in general,
especially the super-nice kid Rishi who he practiced with before the game.

Regardless of quality of teams and games, it was great for both of us to be out there. Did I once say I would never be a soccer mom?! What ignorance! It's great!!! And so much better than the alternative.

4/9/2011

4/7/2011 Migraines?

I got a call from the school this morning. Julian had gone to the office complaining of a headache, and saying it felt like an electrical wire cutting through his head.

He's complained of headaches before, and I'm never sure how severe they are or even how true it is. They certainly hear me complain of headaches a lot, do they even know what it means? But there have been days in which Julian said he had a headache, and was consistent throughout the day, such as genuinely wincing when I accidentally knocked him in the head. His description of the wire cutting through him is all too familiar. Also, the school administrator said that turning off the lights and closing the curtains in the nurse's office made him feel better.

In the end, he was sent back to class, and had a horrible day, not doing his work and disrupting the class. At the CDC, he was hitting other kids again (in play but it's not allowed), and then egregiously shoved Gabriel completely unprovoked. We're not sure how to get through to him!

I doubt his behavior today was related to his morning headache, since his behavior has been a problem for a few weeks now. But I am starting to wonder if he really does get migraines.

4/7/2011

4/6/2011 Tetherball

Today Gabriel had soccer practice, so I left a little early from work to pick up the boys and take them to the soccer field. I was really bummed when Gabriel told me he hadn't finished his homework -- we have a deal! He's got to do it at the CDC on soccer practice days!

So I took him to the soccer field, and then made him sit in the car and do most of his homework before letting him go to soccer practice. I couldn't do that indefinitely, since I did have to pick up Katrina.

Meantime, Julian went to the playground, and found two tetherball courts. What the heck! So we played tetherball together for a while. That was fun. I'm no good, but I won due to my unfair advantage being taller. I was in the mood to punch something, so that was good.

4/6/2011

4/5/2011 Julian's poem

Julian told me this poem during his bath:

A tyrranosaurus hired me
to help him be a winner
But one thing that he didn't say
is he wanted me for dinner!

The boy has a talent!

4/5/2011

4/4/2011 Kindergarten girl?

I thought we were past Katrina's "leaking" issues -- she stayed dry for many weeks, but she started the "I forgot" thing last week again. I weakly attributed it to the heat wave we had last week (like 86 degrees?! crazy!!) and playing at the water table at preschool, but she leaked all weekend long too.

Today when I picked her up from preschool, her teacher told me she'd had a full-on accident. Thing is, she doesn't care -- she doesn't even mention it. She walks around with wet smelly pants like it's no big deal. When we talk to her about it, she giggles.

Tonight at home, I was just about to serve dinner when Dave noticed a wet spot on the floor near the table. No food or drink had made it to the table yet, so he immediately checked Katrina -- soaked. She'd just peed all over the floor and just carried on like nothing!!

Well, I sure am glad Dad is back, because he took matters into his own hands. He took her upstairs, made her change, and put away all her dress-up dresses (she was wearing her favorite "ladybug" flamenco dress from Spain at the time, and it's wet), and insisted she wear a Pull-Up the rest of the day. If we had a diaper in the house, I'd make her wear that. I've discovered that the piano seat smells, her carseat smells, and anything she sits on on a regular basis smells. This is a PROBLEM!!

She screamed her head off for over half an hour about wearing the Pull-Up and sitting on the toilet until she peed before dinner, but it was worth it. We're going to talk to her preschool about the feasibility of putting her in the "baby room" for a day, with the other young toddlers who aren't potty-trained yet. The teachers have suggested giving me a real diaper and telling her she will have to wear it next time she leaks or wets her pants. This is not a medical issue, she just doesn't care. (Remind you of anyone???)

Katrina reads at at least a first-grade level, and she writes extremely well too. Her teacher told me she learns very quickly and is blessed with a fertile, vivid imagination. This child has so much potential -- but she can't go to kindergarten peeing her pants all the time!! That's a showstopper!

Well, thank goodness I finally have something real to stress about.

4/4/2011

4/3/2011 Y day

The only place we went and only thing we did today was go to the Y. I was going to let Gabriel stay home, but he decided to join at the last minute.

Rare chance to get all 3 in a photo, but only with the promise of fresh cinnamon rolls when we got home! (I'd made them last night and had them ready to bake.)



The rest of the day was spent cleaning up around the house and garage, in and out of the house. Gabriel is on a sudden archery kick, and made a bow out of a pencil and a rubber band, and an arrow out of another pencil. Julian followed suit and they spent a lot of time trying to poke through some newspapers they taped up as a target. I think that counts as plain old-fashioned childhood fun being creative with basic resources!

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I'm even more upset today than yesterday about the creepy, evil experience of having a complete imbecile condescend to me and forgive me oh so understandingly about my previous insubordination and disrespect and poor work, and for thinking that he's "turned me around." I hate how it feels to act a lie, it feels dirty and disgusting and totally wrong, but there was no way to state the truth without causing a tremendous confrontation, one which I wasn't prepared for and would be sure to lose. So now I have to do yet more pretending and lying tomorrow just by not throwing up in his presence.

But at least I got started on my resume this weekend. Tempting as it is, I'm not just going to walk out, as that's unprofessional and puts a burden on my coworkers. I have a few small projects to finish and I'll plan my 2-week notice -- with a several detailed letters to the upper management in hand. Such a shame, I really like my coworkers and like the work itself -- I like almost everything about this situation except this one major malevolent element. The stress and internal conflict are too great though -- the emotional energy and depression of this weekend clearly indicate that. My job does not include being insulted or lying.

4/3/2011

4/2/2011 Cloudy day

We've had a most remarkable heat wave here recently. Like over 85 degrees the past 3 days! It's rarely that hot in the summer, let alone the tail end of March.

Today was a little cooler and a little cloudier. I'd had such a bad week that I wanted to take it easy today, except for the boys' activities. We've given up on Katrina's dance classes, she's just not into it.

Julian is motivated in Kung Fu though, and his new white belt status puts him in a different part of the class. They learn sequences of moves that are beautiful, like choreography. I watch this with envy and joy! This video is Julian learning the last 4 positions in a longer sequence that he practiced again and again all afternoon.

This Kung Fu is a good thing.

After Kung Fu, it was time to get Gabriel to his first soccer game. This is his 3rd scheduled game, though first actual game -- the first two were rained out.

Though soccer is more interesting to watch, I found myself missing baseball. There was no Opening Day ceremonies, no celebrating new teams, no corny reciting of Little League statements, no national anthem, no corn, no tradition, no getting choked up. Just show up for the first game.

I brought Gabriel to the game half an hour early for practice, then left just before the game started. A week of single-parenthood has turned the grocery-shopping situation urgent. I left Julian to watch the game and dashed Katrina off for a quick trip to Trader Joe's.

I returned to watch the last 10 minutes of the game, where I saw Gabriel as goalie again. His team was better than the other team, so most of the action was at the other end of the field. At times he seemed so bored he was just playing with the net.


Julian and Katrina meantime played on the long jump course.


The game ended, and apparently Gabriel's team had won, 8-2. Gabriel's coach told me he'd wanted to be goalie the whole time.


Gabriel told me he'd done very little as goalie, because his teammates were so good and most of the action was at the other end of the field. I asked him why he wanted to be goalie the whole game, and didn't get much of a coherent answer. He said neutrally that the other kids on his team were "bigger" than he was, but when I pressed, it seemed the real problem is that he knows they're much better than he is. While he needs the peg-taking-down, I told him that he won't ever get better unless he actually plays! Gabriel being Gabriel, he seemed unfazed by it all, but I was disappointed. He's wimping out by hiding at the goalie post. An important one, to be sure, but not for the whole game.

I don't know .... while he likes the physical action and competition of soccer, I'm not sure he's up to the teamwork and skills development he needs to keep up with his teammates. I hope he is. This could be a valuable experience for him. And it's pretty boring to watch your kid in a game when all he's doing is standing around!

I spent the day in a fog, barely smiling, still semi-traumatized by work this week. It was one of the worst weeks my group has ever had. For me it was capped off with a humiliating one-on-one with my hated boss (not my immediate boss who I like a lot), who smugly forgave me for my past "insubordination."

Insubordination. Can you imagine? We're talking Silicon Valley engineering here, not the Japanese military. What could in American company culture could possibly constitute "insubordination?" Apparently "I think this software product's Java interface is outdated" and "Let me be clear -- I'm not negative on the project -- I just think it won't suit our needs" qualifies.

It's hard to explain, even to myself, why I can't just shrug this off. I'm haunted today, even a Saturday, with the incredibly uncomfortable and stressful experience to be alone in a room with someone who has total power over you and other people you care about. It won't happen again. It's very clear that it's time to leave. But today, I still have to shake off the fury of having had to sit and fume and be insulted, or quit my job then and there. I don't back down from confrontation, but apparently I don't embrace it either. Standing up for myself could only have been done in one way: "F*** you, I'm out of here." I'm increasingly angry with myself for not having done the only right thing. I wish I could put this behind me, but the very passion that is key to my doing well at my job torments me when I'm not on it.

Tomorrow: go the Y, work out, and ground myself again in what's truly important.

4/2/2011

4/1/2011 End of week

Phew. Forget it. I didn't even have the energy or wherewithall to carry out an April Fool's joke today! Thank goodness it's over.

3/31/2011 If I were President

If I were president, I would change three things. First, I would give more homework. Homework helps students learn. Next, I would make jails stronger. It would be so strong that a hammer coudn't break it!! Last, I would change old doors to new doors. Clearly, I would make a good president.

He isn't president, but he is a white belt now!



"Horse stance." Looking pretty serious!


I love kung fu. The fraternal separation is completely worth the logistical headache, which is pretty minimal now that I can leave Katrina at home with Gabriel (if she wants that is). I just wish I could take it myself!

3/31/2011

3/30/2011 Soccer mom

Today was proving to be my most challenging day as a single parent -- Gabriel had soccer practice 5pm-6:30pm, and this was also the final night for him to practice his poetry book report. If he didn't do all his homework at the CDC after school, we'd be screwed.

Fortunately, Gabriel did do all his homework at the CDC. And fortunately, our previous practice with the poetry report made our practice pretty easy.

That's about all good I have to say about the evening. It was still a ton of work and running around, including when Gabriel left his backpack behind at the CDC and I had to go back to get it.

And then, soccer practice ran over, as it always seems to. I've been advised by parents who know, that you just pull your kid out if it runs late, too bad. That's a lot harder when your kid is the only goalie! Katrina and I waited, and mercifully Gabriel's scrimmage ended around 6:45.

I was dismayed to see that he wasn't running constantly like the other kids (goalies wait a lot), but he made some pretty good saves, despite being the shortest kid out there, and he seems to think goalie is a spot of privilege. The coach lined all the boys up afterward in height order, to hand out jerseys, and Gabriel was indeed the shortest. Not that he cares or notices.

Gabriel in his new soccer jersey.


Now Katrina says she wants to do soccer, and tried to show me how well she runs.


I'm SO ready for this day to end, but I need to get to work.

3/30/2011

3/29/2011 Too much night

Brutal night, again. We had no chance to practice Gabriel's poetry report, because he had a TON of homework. His math was no fewer than 27 division problems on one page, all to be "checked," meaning re-multiplied. And that was just one page. The backside of the page had yet more work.

Then there were the 10 definitions he had to write, which another parent pointed out can take about 3 minutes per definition. Gabriel struggled and fussed and complained before dinner, getting some of it done, but had a much better attitude after dinner and tackled it all for real. And then it took him an hour and a half to finish. And we're supposed to work on his poetry report this week too??

This is really, really too much. But I'm too tired to write to his teacher now.

3/29/2011

3/28/2011 Poetry practice

I'm starting a week as a single mom!

Dave's job had to pick a week in which a book report is due to send him to a conference in Urbana, Illinois. Though we've been working on this report pretty much every day for weeks, it's still crunch time this week. It's due Friday, but they have a field trip Friday so it ends up being due Thursday, and he has soccer practice the night before. So we (we?) really need to finish it this week.

This poetry report includes picking a poem, memorizing and reciting it, and writing it on a poster. Then they have to answer a questionnaire called "Poetry Potpourri" about what you liked about the poem, images it brings to mind, things like that. Then there's an outline they have to write up. Finally, from the questionnaire and the outline, there's the actual 5-paragraph essay they have to write. In addition, there's the A-B-A-B poem that they write themselves -- in class thank goodness, but the final "published" version is done at home. Plus the rehearsals for the presentation of the essay they wrote, and the two poem recitals.

This project had a lot of steps, no wonder we've been working at it for so long! (And this time I bought two poetry books so we have to compete for poetry books at the library or worry about return dates.)

Tonight we finished up the poster (Gabriel wrote it all but I still had to direct him what to do and help him with some gluing), and rehearsing the presentation. Gabriel's articulation has gotten pretty poor, and we really need to take him to have his hearing checked again. So getting him to enunciate and speak clearly takes some practice.

Then there are other challenges to presenting.


Gabriel's in-class written poem, called "I want a robot."


I recorded the poem he memorized, called "My brother shaved his teddy bear" by Jack Prelutzky, and his essay, but frankly they're pretty boring even to me.

Not to mention the homework Gabriel had tonight, including writing his 25 spelling words 4 times each, and some long math problems. I didn't even glance at his homework, I was just too overloaded.

Then Julian. He was pretty good tonight, doing his homework without complaint. After dinner, he and Katrina happily ran upstairs together so he could give her a bath!


I had to interrupt him from reading her a story however, when I read his "Go Home Book," with daily behavior reports from his teacher. I had to have a very stern talk with him for his relentless pestering of a classmate, today which included a smack on his friend's rear end and Julian getting sent to the office.

Julian's pestering and messing around and disobeying are really, really a problem, at home, at school and at the CDC after school. He's not bullying, he just wanders around the classroom, drags his heels, makes stupid excuses, goofs around, then focuses his attention on his friend and pesters constantly, disrupting the class. I really don't know what to do about it, and his teacher seems pretty fed up too. He whines and complains when I take things from him, but he can't apply the lesson the next day.

Maybe what Julian needs is 2nd grade and its 6 book reports. Oh joy. I can't wait.

3/28/2011

3/27/2011 Light Sunday

Today we had no hard commitments, so I planned to make some headway on our taxes. But it wasn't raining all day for the first time in a while, and I'd rather do just about anything than taxes, so I spent a little time in the garage doing some much-needed cleanup and giving away of baby toys.

Katrina enjoyed the better weather too.



Borrowing your brother's skateboard stuff is a lot easier when one brother is on an emergency playdate (Lance's mother needed Julian keeping Lance busy almost as much as we needed Julian not pestering his siblings!), and the other brother is procrastinating his book report. Gabriel spent the entire afternoon indoors to do a few jobs on his poetry book report that should have taken him an hour if he'd just done it. As it was, I was rushing him to finish those tasks after his bedtime, when he lollygagged around for an hour at a time.

I guess it wasn't all lost time -- the only entertainment he had was reading the poetry book. At least his skateboard saw some action!

3/27/2011