10/22/11 Pumpkin Patch!

Halloween iks big business these days! I haven't taken the kids on any outings lately, so I figured today I'd take them to a "pumpkin patch" (really more like a farm-based entertainment center) about 40 minutes away.

The boys' top priority was the "Pumpkin Blaster" activity, which I thought meant that they would shoot at pumpkins. Instead, they shot mini-pumpkins at target with a pretty high-powered large heavy gun! Katrina didn't approve of the sound, so I used her ticket attempting to hit things too (I missed).

Top priority for Katrina: pony ride! Gabriel is now too cool for ponies, but Julian isn't.

High priority for everyone: train ride. I'd bought a park pass for all 3 kids, foolishly forgetting myself, so I had to pass on the train ride. Instead, Gabriel made sure Katrina was strapped in and accounted for.

We also did two separate "hayrides," which mostly went to the same places -- roads carved out in a cornfield -- but one was shorter. Hayrides are popular and we had lots of time for silly pictures while waiting on lines.

Finally, the "hayride." For one, we sat on a bench; for the other, we did sit on bales of hay.

We went by a genuine pumpkin-growing field, and showed us some so-called "Cinderella" pumpkins, the variety which are said to have been the inspiration for the carriage in the Cinderella fairy tail.

Both hayrides featured a beautiful marigold-field.

After our tickets for rides ran out (I hid my relief), we went to the actual pumpkin patch part of this pumpkin patch, and each kid picked out a pumpkin for carving.

They all had a great time -- and despite my serious aversion to crowds, lines, traffic and campy kids' activities, I had a great time too!

10/22/11

10/21/11 Dinner Out

I was burnt and in no mood to cook, or eat, tonight -- so Dave took the kids out to eat! I actually had an hour at home alone. I didn't know what to do with myself and pretty much squandered it, but I guess that has to happen sometimes.

I had a good, but demanding day at work -- I guess I'm past the honeymoon period and am being asked to do "real" work, but I still have very little idea how to do things and am not entirely set up yet. As an experienced professional, though, there are no excuses. Earlier in my career I'd have said "I don't have an account with Cisco and so don't have access to their configurator" but at this stage in my career I have to say "OK I'll get that configuration for you!" -- (somehow!!). So it's a big scramble. I've done this before though, and I know it'll be a few months before I'm really ramped up and there's a certain amount of stumbling around and mistake-making that just has to happen. It excites me while wiping me out at the same time.

I went to the school fund-raiser "Fall Festival" this afternoon, where Julian and Katrina were with the CDC at their face-painting booth. I signed them out and then took them around to a few booths, and entered silent auctions for the boys' classooms. There I met a mom who volunteers in Julian's classroom, and I had an experience I've had many times but never failed to be surprised by: the volunteering mom gushes over what a sweet boy I have. "Really?" I always ask, "he's a constant discipline problem!" This applies to both boys. Maybe it's courtesy, many consolation, but the volunteer-mom always tells me how bright the boy is and that they really enjoy working with him. This mom today went on at length at what a strong reader Julian is (and he always has been) and she seemed to genuinely like him.

Thinking about it, I wonder if the reason I get such glowing reports about the boys from other moms is because the moms see them in smaller, more personal situations and the boys respond well to that. See, I'm always able to find a working-mom-guilt angle. I looked around at the busy festival, and saw how many parents were manning booths and tables and helping out. Would I be part of that community if I weren't working -- or am I working partly because that just wouldn't be enough for me? Will I regret that someday? Funny, I'm not sure I'd regret missing out on more of the babyhood. My regrets, or fear of them, increase as they get older. Even now, I feel more stabs about missing out on Gabriel's 9-year-old-ness than Katrina's 5-year-old-ness.

Well, I guess this is academic, because I'm going to be working for quite a while, and that's overwhelmingly a good thing, guilt notwithstanding.

10/21/11

10/20/11 3's a charm?

That subject can apply to lots of things, but most certainly not our children. There's always ONE who wins the "biggest Pain In the Rear" award for the day. Lately that's been going to Julian (TWICE to the principal's office this week -- so far!), but tonight, Katrina definitely wins. Massive fusses and screeching tantrums because....well, I don't know why exactly, something crossed her.

But no, 3's a charm this time because I knew it'd take 3 weeks to get over the shock of a new job. Tomorrow rounds out my 3rd week, and I'm not really over the shock yet, but I think I might have been slightly useful today instead of just a total leech. First, I embarrassed myself by asking a dumb question in front of LOTS of people who knew better, but kicked off a good discussion. Then, I embarrassed myself again by attempting to answer a question in email that involved actually knowing something that I don't at all ("we need XYZ, what equipment does that"), but inserting my usual extras ("there's none that does exactly XYZ, but here are a few alternatives, and make sure you have ABC types of cables too.") Compared to my previous professional life in which my uselessness was deliberate on my horrible management's part, this is a huge step forward.

My mother would probably say she doesn't remember if I had shrieking call-the-cops-now sorts of tantrums when I was 5 as Katrina has, but if I did, maybe there's hope for her yet.

10/20/11

10/19/11 Shoe blowout

Today is Dave's birthday and somehow I got no photos in all the hullaballoo of making a nice dinner, gifts, video-phone-calls (Facetime!!), and of course, CAKE.

In case anyone thinks I'm too soft a parent, Julian was not able to have birthday cake because of his visit to the principal's office on Monday -- no dessert for a week, and sorry, no pass for Dad's birthday. I've warned him that Halloween is coming up, this is no time to mess around. So what happens? He gets sent to The Office again today. That extends his dessert detention (and various others) for another week.

I did get a few photos yesterday though. Since Gabriel has been walking home from school, he's been (mostly) keeping up with his homework and has time to do other things when we all get home. Yesterday he wanted to -- wanted to! help with dinner.

So I talked him through making macaroni-n-cheese (he's getting much better at that, almost on his own), and then cutting up broccoli. Amusing, Julian is quite a bit better at this given his experience. But he did fine and was proud when I trusted him with a real knife (only because Julian was well out of reach).

Just before bed, for some reason I noticed Gabriel's shoes. Oh brother. Shredded again! I got caught unawares. I really do try to replace their shoes before they get to this point, but sometimes I just miss it, or it happens too quickly.

We had a great laugh throwing them away, then pulling out the next new pair.

Until this morning, when it was time to get in the car and we discovered that the brand-new pair I'd given him was too small. Fortunately I had another pair, a half-size larger, waiting, but if not, we'd have been in trouble.

Now I have no shoe buffer for Gabriel, so I have barely a few weeks to build up a stash of shoes again. Going to the shoe store every time they need shoes is unthinkable -- I'd be going to the mall every month for one or the other boy, and occasionally, the girl. Since I'm apparently so poor at pre-emption, I really need a closetful of new shoes ready and waiting. Thank you zappos! Please all, make sure I rob Zappos of 8 pairs of boys' shoes before November or I'm certain to get into trouble again!

10/19/11

10/18/11 Aaron

I haven't posted about this because it's been new, but of course it's ongoing too.

One of my oldest, dearest friends, Andrea, has a son Aaron who is a year older than Katrina. Andrea and I were pals in high school from the gymnastics team, and went to the same college too (in fact I probably went to U of R because of her), and we've stayed close for over 30 years. She married young (I was her Maid of Honor), had two girls young, divorced, remarried, and had another baby when she was just shy of age 43. Naturally, she was the first person I called when I realized I too would be a super-geriatric Mom! In addition to being one of my closest friends she also has numerous degrees in psychology and is just really understanding and funny and a really great person to talk to.

In 2009, Andrea and her teenage daughter and then-4yo-son Aaron visited us. Katrina made friends with Aaron easily and talked about him for weeks after they left. They really hit it off -- and not because of my grumpy semi-social daughter, but because Aaron was a really nice, easygoing kid. The boys don't remember him, but they played a lot with him too.

July 2009

Anyway, NO, not the worst thing possible that could happen to a child has happened, but the second-worst thing possible -- Aaron has leukemia.

Fortunately his cancer is a treatable kind with a high cure rate, but still, for Christ's sake, it's leukemia. He's only 5 years old, and will be 6 in November. I read daily updates from Andrea (she lives in New Jersey) or her sister, and so far the news is good. But still, God help us, it's still leukemia.

I think the only time I've felt this bad or frightened was when my dear sister-in-law had a stroke. Nothing is more serious than a loved one being gravely ill, and perhaps the younger the person, the less fair it seems. (My Dad's Alzheimer's was different...much slower, without the same shock factor...no less unfair or painful of course but of a different sort. Alzheimer's, for all its injustice, isn't a crisis.)

So while I bop through my day apparently cheerful, my dear friend's son's major health challenge weighs heavily on m and my helplessness grinds a hole in my conscience. Friends geographically closer are giving blood to help the hospital. (Actually, I can't even do that locally to help symbolically because my chronic G.I. trouble has kept my weight below eligible levels for blood donation, or I would. Blood donation seems to be the top request from doctors.)

If there's a bright spot anywhere, it's that few moms are as tough or determined or as willing to be an advocate -- and experienced at navigating the medical system -- as my friend Andrea. If you want anyone by your side as you're fighting a serious illness, it's her. Thank heavens for Aaron that he has her.

10/18/2011

10/17/2011 The Notes

Julian got sent to the principal's office AGAIN today! Here's the note the principal sent us:

Mr. and Mrs. Doudna, Julian was sent to the office this morning because of a discipline problem. A student reported to his teacher that he had hit her in the face. I spoke with both students individually and it turns out that Julian was poking at her and poked the folder that the student was reading, causing it to hit her face. I reminded Julian of our rule to keep hands and feet to himself. To help him remember this, I had Julian sit in the office for recess and lunch today.

GOOD GRIEF! Does it never end?

We had an unusually calm discussion with him, in which he was informed of all the consequences. He ended with wanting to talk to me in private, which I told him would have to wait until tomorrow because he hinted it was about "the family."

Later we found these notes, one on our bedroom door and one on the floor.

Mostly it seems he wants to complain about Gabriel. I guess I'm supposed to listen!

10/17/2011

10/16/2011 "Bug Frame"

Not quite sure why this is called a "bug frame," but Katrina spent the better part of the afternoon drawing, cutting out, and taping together bugs.

This is a butterfly, bumblebee, ant, ladybug, grasshopper and spider. She was so proud of it that she actually let me take that picture. Partly because she was wearing this adorable Flamenco outfit that was red and black, so sort of lady-bug-ish.

I did something unprecedented today: I didn't get hopelessly behind on Halloween costumes. I took all 3 to a store today and bought them (well, Katrina already had hers but she needed black tights). The boys tried them on, they're happy with them, and overall the whole experience was less painful -- shorter and I daresay cheaper -- than the usual online shopping/bidding angst. Let's hear it for bricks and mortar!

Speaking of bugs, Katrina is going to be a ladybug again. I don't think she'll remember from when she was barely 13 months old.

(October 2007)

10/16/2011

10/13/11 Barf!!

What timing...poor Katrina, tonight at dinner complaining that her tummy hurt. Sometimes she's a little dramatic, but my instinct generally is that she's not blessed with the acting gene. Tonight it seemed sincere. About 20 minutes later, it really was -- right into the toilet, poor thing.

Dave's leaving for the weekend tomorrow late morning, which means I get to stay home with a sick child in the afternoon of my 2nd week of a new job!! I think everyone will be quite understanding, especially since I'm not particularly important at work yet. At work, I'm still in shock, feeling a little like I'm in the midst of "The Truman Show," like it's all too good and perfect and squeaky-clean to be true. I keep hearing it's going to hit hard soon, and I believe it. Meantime, this week has flown by, even while last week seemed to take a full year.

Though I had grand plans to work on staking my claim tomorrow and trying to actually contribute at work, looks like I get to spend the afternoon at home with my tummy-aching little girl, who will likely be quite well and spend the whole day working on one of her little craft or writing projects, while I plow through some online classes. Then her brother will come home around 2pm (they're getting out early this week for conferences) -- Gabriel walking home after school is overall working out very well this week. This is all good!

10/13/11

10/11/2011 Teacher Time

Friday was teacher conferences. Urgh.

First, Gabriel's teacher. This time, Gabriel joined us. The teacher did most of the talking, and clearly wasn't concerned about Gabriel's ability, but did talk a lot about his transitions and planning. Indeed, Gabriel is often cramming his work into the last few minutes. Just like me -- works better under pressure.

Friday in particular was strange because the night before, I discovered that Gabriel was way, way, way behind on his week's homework, and had a report due that he'd had for 2 weeks. Thursday night was a serious struggle, with Gabriel gridlocked and refusing to do anything because he could see he couldn't get it all done and was overwhelmed. Clearly we need to keep closer tabs on his work during the week.

Julian's conference was quite different. We spent maybe 3 minutes on how he's doing in school -- not much to say about that, it's clear he's completely capable. Most of the conversation was about his behavior and keeping him focused and not disrupting the class. Ironically, since Friday, Julian has kicked into "angel" mode and he's been pretty good!

But Sunday was horrendous. Gabriel had to catch up on all that work he was behind on, and I'd let him go to Katrina's party on Saturday with the promise he'd catch up Sunday. So after breakfast and some reading, at 10am I told him to go into his room and get to work. All he did was procrastinate and complain and delay. It was a day of constant conflict. I'd written a list of the work he had to do, which at one point he tore up into tiny pieces and I had to insist he pick up all the pieces. By 6pm he hadn't done any work at all, and I'd taken away just about everything he had in the room. Finally, he overheard that Julian and Katrina were going to watch a movie if they got all the rooms picked up, and he kicked into gear. It took an hour and a half, but he pulled it off.

During this colossal struggle, I was upstairs all day myself, finishing up my closet project. I'm thrilled that I got rid of a lot of clothes! Can't tell from the photo, but these bags filled the back of my car.

Tonight I insisted Gabriel do some work on his weekly work due Friday, another major struggle. But I'm too traumatized from last Thursday night's struggle, Friday's teacher conference and Sunday's all-day-long conflict to let that go. I won, he wrote the 5 definitions I insisted on.

Dave was out to dinner tonight, I got everyone's homework done and everyone to bed, in my second week of a new job, and got all outstanding laundry done. Seems I work better under pressure too!

10/11/11

10/9/2011 Jumpy party

Katrina's birthday party was on Saturday, at a nearby trampoline place. They have entire areas with trampoline "floors," plus foam pits and a dodgeball court.

One of these areas is for kids 8-and-under. A few of Katrina's friends, and Katrina herself, were hesitant at first about the jumping, but they all got over it fast.

Gabriel joined us to "help," though he spent most of the time jumping in the big-kid areas, especially since he wasn't allowed to really jump in the kids' area. He came back sweaty and exhausted, it was great! He did help, too, like taking one boy to the bathroom once, something I appreciated!

They have party tables and serve pizza (and pizza only, no outside food at all), simplifying matters quite a bit.

I really liked this place, much better than the noisy inflatable-slide place that is very popular for birthday parties here. I wasn't crazy about all the rules they had in the kids' zone -- no chasing games, no holding hands and jumping -- but we worked around it. In fact, I ended up jumping and playing with Katrina's partymates longer than she did! I feel it in my back today, but I had a great time jumping around myself. I never made it to the foam pit though.

A great kickoff to Birthday Season!

10/9/11

10/7/11 First Friday

Well, I hope I don't have to do that again for a long long time. I survived my first week at a new job!!

But I'm saying I "hope I don't do that again for a long time" only because any new job means a lot of familiarization and change and getting up to speed -- and because I hope I stay at this job for a long time. Starting anew is stressful but expected, and it went far better than anyone could ever dream for. My new job, new office, new coworkers, new boss, new commute, are all great. I keep wondering what's wrong with this picture, because it all seems too picture-perfect to be real. Sometimes it feels like I'm in the movie "The Truman Show" because everything is so neat and clean. I know that's a good thing, I'm just not used to that!

If I had to have any concern at all, it'd be wondering if I'll miss the challenges of wide-area service-provider networks (traffic management, failure detection, redundancy, costs, point-to-point service delivery) that wide-area service-provider networks live with, over the enterprise-level data-center-type network I'll be working with -- now I have to get close to the world of "IT"! This, for a network engineer, is a good dilemma to have. No matter where my work falls, it will improve me.

Another nice change: I'm looking forward to Monday!

10/7/2011

10/6/2011 Caught the creep

They caught the guy -- actually, shot and killed him this morning. We heard the sirens and helicopters around 7:40am, and heard the news barely minutes later. It's more of a relief than I expected.

Many things are unexplained, such as why he came to this neighborhood at all, but it's more than a little freaky that he abandoned his car less than a minute's walk away, then walked farther from our house to attempt to carjack someone else's car in the HP parking lot. He could just as easily have come to our block.

Lorne Way in Sunnyvalewhere he was caught is now famous as the short street where he hid out, and ultimately was shot, but we know it as the site of a birthday party Julian attended in 2008 -- in fact on the same block section. Julian's friend Alex (and his father, my friend George who shares my interest in WWII-era planes and invited us to the tour of the tank museum we took last summer) were renting there and have since moved, thank heavens. They've had been in the center of the action -- and terror.

Actually, best as I can tell, this house is 5 doors down from the one where he was shot. It'd take barely a few minutes to walk there from here -- and even less time to walk to our house from where the gunman abandoned his car.

But it's over, and we can be grateful our schools rehearsed "code blues" and shocked that it ever had to be executed.

Bigger problems tonight though....we discovered that newly-responsible Gabriel is way, way, WAY behind on his week's worth of homework, and a 2-week-long project due tomorrow. We've just been far too distracted with all the issues Julian has been giving us -- it's exhausting keeping after him for absolutely everything.

And I'm still in something between shock and panic about starting a new job. Starting a new job is always a big deal, but maybe that's harder as we get older and more settled into our comfort zones. Then again, I've always had a love-hate relationship with comfort zones. I think I do my best inbetween them, striving to find them.

It's been 4 days and already I've learned so much and realized how much more there is to learn. I keep looking for something "wrong" with this situation, but the more I look at it, even though it looks so different than what I identify with, the less I can find anything wrong with it. Am I kidding myself? I think I'm going to do very well here. The only true anxiety I can find is not having much opportunity to delve into the detailed protocol analysis I used to do and loved (give me a testset and a protocol analyzer and I'm home!) -- this is much less academic, and closer to "just get it done and don't worry about the ins and outs of why." I'm the closest to "IT" as I've ever been in my career as a network engineer.

Now, can I balance an incredibly badly-behaved son and an incredibly putzy or poor-planning son and work??? Can we handle this while I work? SO frustrating finding out how much homework Gabriel has that he's had all week to do!!

This is one Friday I am SOOOO ready for!

10/6/11

10/5/11 Code Blue

A most remarkable day. It should have been ALL about Katrina's birthday. She's FIVE!!! We did have a cake and a little singing, and a lovely call from grandparents.

But today was also marred by a horrendous incident in our neighborhood that isn't entirely over. We were awakened this morning with numerous sirens and helicopters, and discovered after we'd dropped kids off at school and gotten to work that a shooting had occurred a few miles away, then an other non-fatal shooting and failed carjacking very closeby. I spent the whole day tracking Live News Coverage of the incident.

Our schools were on "lockdown," which the kids know as "Code Blue," which meant, no one outdoors, only groups going outside the classrooms (where the bathrooms are), kids released only to adults (no walking home from school). Many parents pulled their kids out of school, and I was tempted, but the truth is : our house is much closer to the action than the school is, so the kids were safer at school. Police and SWAT teams were doing house-to-house searches for the gunman -- still at large as I type -- and the odds were very low he'd make it all the way to the school.

Then after work when I went to pick up the kids, I heard on the radio just as I was parking that Steve Jobs died today. Oh. My. God. That's incredible. Not surprising, he'd been ill for some time, but Oh. My. God. Cancer is awful to take away such a bright light, such a world-changer. It's awful to take anyone of course, but it's just so hard to believe of someone who was such a force.

I thought hard about that driving home, with my children squabbling in the backseat, and counting the helicopters still flying over my neighborhood on my daughter's 5th birthday. The most remarkable thing about today should have been my 3rd day at a new job, not this -- all this.

10/5/11

10/4/2011 Breaking the Rules

Gabriel is determined to "create energy," and wrote this report today about how.

I love the last sentence: "The loop of motion and magentism will keep it going forever, therefore breaking the law of Conservation of Energy. Cool, huh?" I love his brashness and confidence.

Julian, on the other hand, is determined to break every rule in the school handbook. This is the message we received from the principal today.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. and Mrs. Doudna, Julian was sent to the office today for a discipline problem. The incident occurred during today's PE session. I asked Julian what happened and he told me: "I punched someone because I was thinking about motorcycle gangs, the bad guys that wear black suits. You have to punch them, so I punched someone. The second time I tried, I missed."

I'm writing to inform you that I have warned Julian that if he hurts a student again, he will be suspended from school for 2 days. I am not allowing him back for PE today. He will join his class when PE has finished. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Julian's teacher also had some choice words about how he refused to write a letter of apology to the child he'd hit. She's really really frustrated with him, he causes trouble every day and often makes it worse during his consequences.

This is so not what I need in my first week of a new job, and not what Dave needs getting pulled out of work to deal with this stuff. Gabriel's been great, and overall Katrina is too, but it only takes one at a time to cause no end of trouble. And this is where I really can't turn to other parents -- what do you do if your kid is suspended for 2 days?! We work full-time!! And being at home is a reward to him, and being home with him all day to punish him would be dreadful. Suspension will REALLY suck!

10/4/11

10/30/11 First Day!!!!

OMG. OMG. OMG.

First day at a new job today. I'd forgotten how freaky those are. Perhaps this one moreso because it all seemed so normal and happy. Am I on The Truman Show?

I also keep hearing how things will get crazy and busy, and I can certainly see how -- I saw an email conversation in which my company couldn't grab a customer because he was on the East Coast and we were 3 hours behind. That's pretty tight timing. Right now I'm just learning the language -- so many terms and assumptions that everyone tosses around as general parlance, and I have to either hide a puzzled face, ask later, or just be stumped. But experience helps here -- I know it will fill itself in later and that hearing these mysteries is part of filling in all the blanks.

I was greatly comforted when my new closest coworker showed me a lab and sent me a hands-on configuration document to test out -- now I'm happy. This is what I can do.

No matter how I look at it, this was by far the right decision -- even if I hadn't been leaving a completely dysfunctional ridiculous situation.

I wasn't expecting this, but I got a real office! Like, with a door and walls! This never happens in Silicon Valley!

With a dual-screen setup for my HP laptop (HP! Never had one!). I also get a Blackberry, which I'm already mixed on.

Mom should be amused by my first-day outfit, since she helped me pick it: gray stretch trousers from Banana Repulic, and a 50% silk cardigan on sale at Banana. The shirt is from Title Nine, of course. It's really not clear how strict the dress code is, but since I was really past the jeans-and-T-shirt phase of life anyway, this is fine.

Another huge bonus is that my commute is not only a little shorter, but it's much more reliable. It's reverse-commute, so will not wary widely as my old commute did. If I left at 4:30 at my old job, traffic was Ok, but 5:30, and it was a nightmare. This route, those two times won't be much different. So in theory I should be able to pick up kids earlier. And in theory, drop them off later -- could we skip $100s of dollars in childcare by dropping the 1-1/2 hours of morning supervision that we only use 15-20 minutes of?

OK, enough about me.

I was really surprised: Julian got a great grade on his "Jack and the Beanstalk" book report, with 5's (the highest score) on everything except a 4 in "use of props" as he didn't have any. Not surprisingly, he scored a '2' (lowest) on his ability to listen politely to other kids' presentations. I'm not sure how strict a grader this teacher is, but she had these words to offer parents about the report:

Please don't draw the pictures for your child. It is their report and they should have colored self drawn pictures. If I felt that it was not a child's work it is reflected in their grade. Most did a great job on their presentations. I will be looking for improvement. Some students did not point to their book report at all, or just read from it. Thank you

I don't know, is that a common thing around the country to remind parents not to draw things for their kids?

Julian's teacher has a new method of emailing the parents the homework, so we get it Monday in email and print it. For us that means Julian can't start it until I get home and have a chance to sit down and print it out. However, Julian does have his preprinted week's worth of math homework with him, so he starts on that while I'm printing the language homework. And then he blows through the math, with no hesitation or questions, in about 20 minutes. It's really striking to see the school's putziest, whiniest, laziest excuse-expert toast this homework.

Could that point to a "Julian is bored' explanation? We wondered that for Gabriel, but Gabriel just didn't care, and he'd make stupid careless mistakes. We'd told Gabriel that if he's "bored" in math, that he could show that by acing every test -- but he never did. Julian is acing every math test, worksheet and homework page including the optional sections so far. I can't imagine where he finds the time amidst all that pestering, complaining, lollygagging and trips to principal's office.

10/3/11

10/2/2011 Acoustic assault!

Any parent endures the subject of this post ("acoustic assault") but this time, I'm doing it the other way: I'm assaulting the acoustics in our family room. My Mom pointed out, "you're not going to solve this problem with any one thing, it needs to be a combination of factors."

So I took my unemployed time and a cavalier attitude to my usual austerity and went to town at Pier 1 Imports. This resulted in a whole lot of goofy pillows, all placed up high in the hopes of absorbing the insufferable echoes in our family room.

I doubt it makes much difference by itself, but when my ears are ringing I get some comfort just looking over at all those silly pillows.

I also got a few new placemats. (Katrina was happily setting the table voluntarily!)

I really did lose my mind. Normally I'd never get a useless froofy pillow like this -- but guess what. It's Katrina's favorite, and you know what, now it's mine too! It's really silly but quite eye-grabbing!

I offset the bingeing with some real purging today too. We had a "dump day" today, which means as Sunnyvale residents we are allowed two weekends a year of free dumping at Sunnyvale's world-class dump and recycling center. Usually you have to pay to dump stuff, and a lot, but we save our junk for these semiannual resident passes.

I thought at first I'd finally get rid of a few leftover pieces of lumber from various remodels, but this turned into filling our pickup with stuff that's been hidden for years. I'm so good at storing stuff that I don't even realize how much we have.

I got the boys involved, and Julian in particular was a real help -- not just the "oh isn't this cute that the kid thinks he's helping" sort of help, but real help.

Gabriel was helping until he thought I told him to throw away an old Shark "dustbuster" thing, when I'd really told him to just put it down and help me, and that he could have it, but only in the garage. When he came back out and understood that he could have this useless rundown appliance, he was thrilled. He spent the rest of the day in the garage, taking it apart and trying to get its motor out, and later said he was able to get its motor running. I was truly impressed at how he turned junk into an all-day project, and how excited he was about taking something apart to get to its motor.

Julian too was very involved in this garage project, but just like Julian, he was more motivated by feeling like he was really helping. That's an important key to him I think -- now, how do we harness that to keep him out of the principal's office?

First day of new job tomorrow, I'm VERY excited!!

10/2/2011

10/1/11 Notes to the principal

I can't believe I spent any time writing this message tonight, but I had to.

Our usually sensible principal, who had several conversations with Julian last week, said that Julian himself had come up with a consequence for being sent out of his classroom too many times. If he gets sent out of the class 4 times in a week, the principal would -- ready for this? -- call us out of work and send him home! Home! Now that's a punishment all kids fear. And it was all Julian's idea!

And I thought Gabriel was frustrating. We just can't seem to get it into Julian's head that he has to stop this horrible behavior. He's getting close to getting kicked out of the CDC, in fact. Friday he threw something at a CDC teacher (a clay rock or something), and it hit her in the forehead. When she scolded him, he said, "Well, it didn't knock you unconscious!" THE NERVE!!! I made him apologize to her and say "yes ma'am." That was after ignoring another CDC teacher's instruction to go outside with the rest of his group and so much disobedience that the CDC director took the rare step of calling Dave at work and almost asking him to take Julian home -- and this is without his even knowing about the throwing incident, and without the additional incentive of Gabriel there.

This weekend, I turned down a second playdate for Julian because he's grounded. Any visit to the principal's office is an immediate week of grounding, and Julian was there more times than I can count this week -- four I think, if you include a continued conversation so he could think about "strategies" overnight. Everyone at school and CDC are increasingly frustrated with him. His teacher is requesting an "IST" for him now, which is the start of a formal process to evaluate him and review strategies. At the CDC, they're instituting a behavior plan, something we have to sign and agree to, and which could include us getting called out of work.

We rarely drive at night, but we had on Friday to pick up Dave's car, so I got to hear Julian and Katrina chatting. I was really struck by how Julian embraced the role of teacher. "Did you know that the moon does not produce its own light?" he quizzed Katrina. He told her so many things about stars and the sun that when he stopped, she'd say, "Julian, teach me more about the sky!" He has a keen interest and a clear mind for science -- how do we harness that and turn him around in school?

Katrina has no problem writing and creating, she does it all the time now. This was particularly amusing today.

One more day before I start my new job! And my closet is nowhere closer to being done!

10/1/11

9/30/2011 The Closet

Look at my closet!

Empty, clean, and soon, slightly reconfigured. I'm moving some shelves, removing drawers and adding a few baskets.

Here's the flip side to that., however.

I'm determined that only half those clothes go back IN to the closet!

Major, major trouble with Julian again today. Principal's office at school, huge trouble at the CDC. We're at a loss.

9/30/2011

09/29/2011 School Photos

Finally got my scanner working!

Dave took one look at the photo of Katrina and said, "Did we pay for that?" She's not exactly cooperative for cameras these days.

This year, I didn't do my usual dork thing of insisting they wear their "Class Of..." varsity T-shirts, and I regret that! The colors in these photos are crazy. Still, I'm totally enjoying having this consistent set of photos every year.

9/29/2011

9/27/2011 Bye Bonne Maman

Sniff! Said goodbye to Bonne Maman today, then went for a strangely bad run. I was tired and dragging all the way through, and the 2nd wind never kicked in. Ah well, some days are like that. It reminds me that as much as I'm liking my time off, I'm really looking forward to getting back to work.

Julian has some news!

9/27/2011

9/26/2011 Bonne Maman

Bonne Maman is going home tomorrow! We've had a terrific visit. Despite school getting in the way today, we've gotten to do a lot of things together.

The photos are all from the first day, but this is the sort of thing we occupy our time with.

Making strawberry lemonade.

Playing Gabriel's "Falling Fireballs" game.

Opening gifts. Real hits: Katrina got a dancing purple horse, Julian a book that has split flip-pages that make silly animals, and Gabriel a puzzle game.

Of course, I got my fair share of play too, especially when we cleaned out Los Gatos on our shopping spree.

Today I let Gabriel walk home from school by himself for the first time. He was pretty happy about that.

And with the promise of a bribe, I managed to get a willing shot of all 3 kids with their marvelous grandmother.

I've been enjoying my exodus from reality, but it's going to start coming back tomorrow after I take Bonne Maman to the airport!

9/26/11

9/25/2011 Shopping spree!

It wasn't until we already had a bag packed full of pants from Banana Republic and a stack of shirts and dressings hanging in a fitting room at Title Nine that my Mom put her finger on it: "I haven't been on a shopping spree like this in years!" Sure enough, that's what we were on -- a full-blown haul. It's sort of necessary; I do need non-jean pants to wear to work, but it's also something of an indulgence because now I'm sure I'll be working for a while and won't have a whole lot of time, or desire, to shop. And what fun to do with your mom! Funny, when you have your own daughter, the thing heard most often from other people is what fun it will be to shop with her. Not for me, mother-daughter shopping was the last thing I thought of. But after today, I'm rethinking that! 9/25/2011

9/22/2011 Mom's here!

My mom's here for a 5-day visit during my between-job purgatory. Yay! Gabriel went with me to the airport to pick her up, that's always fun. He's been so full of joyful energy lately.

Unfortunately being parents to Julian has been less rewarding. His teacher is so frustrated with his behavior in class -- and that's after me pulling out all the stops and investing a ton of energy in not tolerating even the slighest indiscretion at home -- that's she's requesting help from the school district's counselor, and calling a team meeting thing to evaluate him. We've been through this with Gabriel and in some ways it's harder with Julian because he's always been pretty good -- no odd behaviors, no flags for "the spectrum," no developmental delays. He's just....well, dawdly and full of excuses, but he's becoming more and more impossible in class.

Katrina...she's been great lately. I'm still reeling from a horrible nightmare I had two mornings ago, in which she'd died and I was first facing the world without this bright light, this joyful pixie bursting with ideas and observations and life. I was absolutely devastated, and woke up very much in that "place." I can't express how relieved I was when I realized it was just a bad dream and that in fact my little girl was quite alive in the next room. I was very upset all day, and even today somewhat as well. It's as though she was taken away from me and I was granted her back.

One thing that comes to mind with all this emotional turmoil is: I need a job! I'm glad I have this time off, and I'm making good use of it, but I sure need some emotional stability in my day!

All in due time -- first, my Mom is here!

9/22/2011

9/20/2011 Ice Cream Social

Today Dave and I joined the kids at school for their "ice cream social" put on by the PTA, since we happened to be out for a late lunchtime together anyway. It was unbelievably hot here today, it's been in the upper 90s for a few days.

I'd expected to hang with the kids and maybe chat with teachers, and that happened, sort of. I caught Julian's teacher and struck up a long conversation with her. They'd had a tough day, with Julian defying the P.E. teacher, giving his teacher attitude and even getting sent to the principal's office. She was really frustrated with how to get through to him. He's only been getting worse, giving her attitude and rude comments and forcing her to repeat instructions several times. She said she doesn't want to spend all her time with him giving him consequence and threatening, but that's what it was turning into. She said something like, "at some point he just has to do what he's told." Just like at home.

I'd planned to spend the afternoon working with Julian on his book report, but had to redirect him to my room to talk alone. "Talking doesn't do anything, Mom," he complained as we walked in. "You're right," I told him. I walked into my closet and pulled out the black belt. "NOOO!" he cried out.

I didn't belt him. But thanks to the one time I did belt him, seeing it looped on a dresser was a necessary threatening message as we talked.

And we talked. First I told him that he had to obey -- not "listen to" -- but obey adults. I told him he especially must obey teachers, and explained that teachers work hard and do their jobs out of conviction and are there just to teach him and other kids. It's their job, that's why they're there, and he can't interfere with that.

Then I wrote down "actions" (such as rudeness, not accepting responsibilty, disobeying and others), and then wrote down "consequences" (giving away toys, no dessert/allowance, grounding, the belt and others), and then wrote a chart of actions mapped to consequences.

Then I had him practice obeying -- I had him walk away a few paces, and I'd call his name and he'd have to stop immediately. This was because of his causing trouble in P.E. today, when the coach called him numerous times and Julian ignored the coach. S.O.P. at home.

By now, he was agreeing with these exercises, because The Belt was looming.

Then I told Julian that now he has to say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" to adults. This sounds extreme, but I'd threatened that before, during the summer when he was being so much trouble at the CDC. I got the idea from Kung Fu where he has to say "yes sir." I made him practice with me, but he rolled his eyes and said "yes ma'am" with irritation. So I took the belt and whacked it LOUD against a bench, and told him sternly to try again. THEN he said "yes ma'am" with more sincerity. (This is where he departs with Gabriel; Gabriel is very likely to continue resisting; Julian does have his limits.)

I told Julian that absolutely no resistance would be tolerated today. Though it took a ton of energy, I managed to follow up every incident of him ignoring an instruction or talking back with glowering and insisting he say "yes MA'AM." It's amazing how many of those incidents there are in the space of 5 minutes. It's amazing that it's come to this -- I would never have believed that I'd ever threaten a belt or insist on "yes ma'am." How on earth will I have the energy or time to follow up on this when I'm working?

For the rest of the afternoon, I worked with Julian on his book report and homework, and to my surprise, he was pretty cooperative. He blew through his math homework -- the whole weeks' worth took him about 20 minutes, because he wasn't distracted or resistant. Just like Gabriel, the math is really easy and straightforward and needs little intervention. The language homework on the other hand, such as writing definitions for two words from his spelling/vocabulary list, took much much longer.

Julian needs a lot of help with his book report -- but wouldn't any 7-year-old need help? For example, he needs to write a sentence on each of "where" and "when" a folktale takes place, but all our "Jack and the Beanstalk" book says about "when' is "once upon a time." Kids need help with this!

Or do they? Incredibly, Katrina also had a kindergarten version of a book report to do this week, called a "story map." She has to do the hard part: picking a book, writing down who are the main characters, what the "setting" is, and what happens in the beginning, middle and end of the story. These are pretty sophisticated concepts for even a 2nd-grader - summarizing isn't easy, and they don't get that the end of the story isn't necessarily what happens on the last page.

But so unlike her brothers, Katrina insisted on doing her Story Map by herself. Given her determination, I let her just copy the words from the last page of the book for "end of the story." I was blown away by how insistent she was on doing her "homework" that was clearly designed for parents to help with. 5th-week kindergartners can't possibly be expected to write this stuff themselves, when they're technically not even expected to be reading yet.

Well, kindergarten is the least of my worries -- and apparently, 4th grade isn't eithe. Not only is Gabriel doing his homework, but he's keeping track of it -- arguably the biggest achievement. (We passed Gabriel's teacher bicycling to work this morning; Gabriel said the teacher told the class that bicycling to work was a "resolution".) So far, 2nd-grade is our -- and the teacher's -- hugest challenge.

9/20/2011

9/19/2011 Into the future

Apparently I was the last person in the world to know about "streaming" videos, something I still haven't done, but at least now know about. Just in time for NetFlix to announce that it was splitting up its DVD service (which we have) and its streaming service (which apparently we also have but have never used).

Today I made fine use of my first weekday of not earning money by spending a whole lot of it. This included a trip to Best Buy to check out cameras, and morphed into the purchase of a streaming-video device that can hook up to a TV. Right away the first challenge of matching lifestyle to technology and domestic geography presents itself: which TV do I hook this thing up to? That's obvious in households with a central entertainment area, but we don't really have one. I think it'll go in the living room, where the occasional kid-movie gets watched, and movies with guests get watched, but that's not where the bulk of TV-watching happens in this household. We're weird.

Another conundrum is setting up my brand-new Dell Latitude Windows 7 laptop -- because most of the work is in retrofitting old methods and devices to it. My email is almost set up, the very-very old-fashioned way with a local client like Eudora. And I'm beside myself that I was able to get my ancient -- and I do mean ancient: FOURTEEN years old! -- laser printer to work. I'm forever an HP printer fan, none else will do.

I hadn't planned to spend my valuable days "off" before starting a new job setting up my computing world, but it's just as well it happened now. I'd likely never have gotten around to it without a virus rendering my old WinXP tower computer unusable. Despite my clinging to Eudora and an old black-and-white laser printer, for the most part this has forced me to join the 21st century.

Maybe I'll even try streaming a movie tonight.

9/19/2011

9/18/11 Combination factors

Still getting my computer set up and files transferred. I've decided I REALLY hate my camera so I never take photos anymore. Habit is decreased from this big interruption. Been emotionally overwhelmed with leaving my job Friday and saying goodbye to some coworkers I'd truly grown to love and being really drained at night as a result...all this adds up to being unusually uncommunicative in this blog. Those are the reasons, for better or worse! Worse, I know. 9/18/11

9/15/2011 Helmets

"Life is hard -- wear a helmet!" Gabriel informed me tonight. Very clever! "Where did you get that?" I asked him. "From my teacher," he said. Then he said that his teacher has two helmets, one labelled "No Whining" and one labelled "No Complaining." If anyone whines or complains too much in class, they get to wear that helmet for the rest of the day. So far no one has, but I think it's a very clever threat! I'm sure some parents would object to having kids singled out that way, but I really like his creativity.

9/15/2011

9/14/2011 Wrapping up!!

Two more days at work!! It's incredible to believe. Even though I took so much time off and Covad was off my mind for so long while I was having babies, it feels like such a part of my life now that it's about to be not part of my life. I guess anything that's been in your immediacy for 14 years is hard to let go of. One more day of "real" work, then the final day will just be saying goodbyes and packing up my office.

This is so not the most important thing in my life, but it's very very real and present to me now. Until Friday at 5pm that is!!

9/14/2011

9/13/2011 New computer

Yayy!!! I'm typing to you from my new Dell Latitude laptop. It's not set up at all, it'll take weeks to get everything transferred over and my whole picky environment set up, but this is a huge start. I was long overdue to upgrade my computer, but that was the easy part -- I'm also long overdue to upgrade the way I do things. For instance, an address book in an ancient program in a proprietary format? Get OVER it, everyone uses Google Contacts!

Homework was amazingly easy tonight. Gabriel got in trouble immediately and was sent to his room to do his homework. Julian had already gotten a little ahead on his language work, then finished his week's worth of math.

Katrina was the real killer though: she blew through her first week's worth of homework in under an hour, with no guidance, help or encouragement, insisting on reading all the instructions herself, and remaining completely undistracted by her brothers. She announced, "I TOASTED it!"

In fairness, all three kids had no trouble with kinder homework; they'd been well-prepared in preschool, but I think it's safe to say she's the most enthusiastic.

I know I can't count on this breeze every night, but for tonight, I'll take it!

9/13/11

9/12/11 Last Monday

My new computer arrived! It's in a box.

I'll get to it as soon as I clean up the kitchen, make 3 lunches, fill out emergency information for all 3 kids, fill out a county assessment health form for Gabriel, answer notes to two teachers, fill out a class directory form for kindergarten, sign a permission slip and another form about if I want to apply for a library card for 2nd grade, go through papers the kids brought home from school today and make sure I don't miss any notices, put a Thursday field trip on the calendar so I don't forget to send a bagged lunch, look for the kindergarten P.E. schedule and make sure Katrina wears sneakers if PE is on Tuesdays -- and then I can unbox my new computer. Thank goodness tonight is a light workload night!

My last Monday at my current company...the only place I've worked for the last 14 years, where I have many good friends and lots and lots of memories. Recent memories are really bad, but many others are good. No matter how I dice it up, there's no question that my new job is far, far better, but it's still a big change. It reminds me how I really need challenge but how real change stresses me.

I'm happy to be changing to a new computer though -- then I can edit photos again and post them to this poor image-starved blog!

9/12/11

9/8/11 Homework load

Anyone think their 9-year-old could -- more importantly, would -- finish this in 60 minutes?

- Write 12 definitions related to magnetism, some not in the dictionary (e.g. "temporary magnet.").

Draw an illustration for each.
- Make up 10 sentences for each of 10 spelling/definition words (e.g. "chrysalis").
- Two pages of cursive practice.
- 22 math problems.

This is all one night's homework at the not super-academic school in the district, with a principal who's working on reducing homework load, and a conscientious teacher!

Ironically, the only thing that goes quickly is the math, because if you understand it (and most kids at our school do), it's often (not always) a lot less writing.

An example of tonight's math homework problems: Round each number to the place of the underlined digit. 1) 589,932. Gabriel's answer was "580,000 or 590,000" and he'd circled 590,000.

Another problem: Write these numbers in order from least to greatest: 690,172, 349 699,074,213 69,010,342. Answering that involves a fair amount of writing, though at least he didn't have to copy the numbers out of order first.

(Any other 4th-grade parents there have any input? I think this is in line with 4th-grade difficulty -- actually this is pretty easy, but it's the quantity I'm griping about.)

But making up sentences with words like "synonymous" and "crystalline" and "inaugeration" takes at least 3 minutes per sentence, if the kid is concentrating. 10 sentences, about 3 minutes a sentence -- do the math. With everything else, there's no way this all takes 60 minutes.

This is crushing. All we do the entire evening home with Gabriel is deal with homework. At some point, he just gets burnt out and putzes around, plays, writes things in a goofy font, reads the dictionary instead of copying definitions out of it. I absolutely hate that my entire interaction with him in a day revolves around motivating him and focusing him on this work, and that it hangs over his head the entire night.

He actually did most of tonight's homework, minus 7 of the 10 sentences, but I cut him off at 8:30 upon threat of losing a playdate this weekend and said he had to go to bed. He doesn't believe me, but I know he'll have an easier time finishing this in the morning.

I blame the other parents. I have to blame someone. They complain privately, and to other parents, but they don't even tell the teacher. They let their kids stay up later, their kids get home from school earlier, they are generally just fewer of them (kids that is), and many just think piling on homework will improve test scores.

This can't go on. I have to start working with Julian on his book report -- something that I've learned is brutal for parents, especially the first 2nd-grade report, but that has far more value. I wasn't expecting to have to spend so much time and attention keeping Gabriel motivated. He's never blown anyone away with his work ethic -- so many friends have kids who finish their homework on their own -- but he's no excuse factory like Julian. (Julian has also discovered that math homework is much easier and faster than language, and often I have to fight with him to get him to do his definitions or sentences instead of the math.)

On another note...

One of many great things about having a geeky husband is that when your computer dies and you just don't have time or energy to figure out what you need for the next one, you say, "sic'em!" Dave is closing in on a new computer for me -- a laptop this time -- and I'm thrilled and grateful for this huge investment in time and energy he's put into it. I know he likes doing it, even if it isn't a Mac -- the only thing better will be when I need a new car!

9/8/11

9/7/2011 Job news

It's official! I resigned from my position as a Member Technical Staff III yesterday. My last day is September 16. I'm still reeling from the changes, but it's totally a good thing. It's not what I wanted originally or set out to do, but as regular readers of this blog know, I had serious issues with my management. Though that's been rectified recently with a new manager, the problems were just too pervasive. I wrote a pretty strong resignation letter, which I later felt sheepish about, but I had a good talk with the CTO today and left it on good terms. Now I just have to get over short-timer's attitude, and try to get a few last things done. But, it doesn't end there. I'm starting a new job Oct. 3! It was just too good an opportunity to pass up. It's a wonderful, successful small, healthy company with relaxed, happy people all around. I'll have lots of challenges, I have a lot to learn, but that's GREAT. Now that I'm past the big hurdle of resigning my current job, I'm really excited about the new job. I'm not excited about saying goodbye to some coworkers at my current job, many of whom have become really good friends, that will be hard. But the new job has some old friends there too -- I'll be the 5th person there (out of about 50) who came from my current company. One of those other 4 people is one of my first coworkers at my current company back from 1997, and we're now old friends. Juggling school and family life is never easy, but this past year and a half I think we've pretty much figured it out. We've figured out that it's never easy, for starters. It'll be harder for me, coming up to speed at a new job, but heck, we did it once before. And this time it will be without the intense stress of a tyrannical evil manager. I'll have two weeks off between jobs, a good thing because I have lots of big tasks to catch up on. Which,of course, I won't -- so I need to pick two or three and make sure those happen. I'm thinking of doing something I thought of a long time ago: a road trip to Southern CA to visit long-lost family, including two cousins of my Dad's who I've never met, my first cousin who I haven't seen since he was 12, my college roommate, and of course my beloved in-laws. Deep breath -- this is a huge change. My current company is the only place I've worked for 14 years -- time to be knocked out of my comfort zone! But then, sometimes ones' comfort zone isn't so comfortable anyway. 9/7/2011

9/6/11 Childproof

Katrina announced this morning that she "didn't know where we were" last night, so she decided to medicate her cough herself. Somehow she got the childproof cap off the child's Robitussin, and administered most of the bottle to herself. I think it was maybe 1/3 full, and she didn't quite finish it, but still, this was alarming information this morning. We put the bottle truly out of reach and gave a stern lecture to all the kids about self-medicating, and she seems to have suffered no ill effects.

I suffered some ill effects of Gabriel's homework though. Good heavens, just his math was about 26 problems, and most of them involved a whole lot of copying and writing. For example, a problem is to write three numbers in order from least to greatest. Not so bad if you can just write the numbers in order, but he's supposed to write them out of order first, show how many digits each has, assign them an A, B and C order, then copy them again in least-to-greatest order, and draw a box around the answer. Some of these numbers are in the hundred millions, so if you have to write 225,541,226 and 241,541,226 and 226,541,220 twice, in different orders AND with other markings around it, that can take a while. And those were the shorter questions!!

Gabriel had trouble finishing schoolwork today and lost recess for not transitioning, so I talked to him about that but also sent a note to his teacher to let him know that 26 math problems of that sort will take a 9-year-old over an hour with no breaks. Gabriel still has to learn how to get his schoolwork and homework done quickly, but I do understand why he'd frustrated with the homework -- lots of copying and busywork without any real advancement or reinforcement in learning -- he knows the content part just fine so far.

Seems homework is childproof too. 9/6/11

The neighborhood

Computer troubles -- meaning, no new computer yet, have really limited my ability and willingness to blog. At least I finally put my photo-browsing program on our little Netbook, only to discover that it's really lame at editing. Today, Labor Day, started out a slow and lazy day. Katrina spent a lot of time listening to "Clifford" tunes, this time with Clifford listening with her!

Our neighborhood had a Street Fair today, a very small affair that included a demo by firefighters, and an inflatable water slide. To my surprise, Katrina went up the slide, and down, though she had some help the first time.

For some reason, the compressor for the slide turned off, and it very slowly started to deflate -- while Gabriel and Katrina were up top! I could hear her crying out in fear, then screaming, even though I knew Gabriel was up there with her. She wasn't in any danger, since it was deflating very very slowly, but something freaked her out to where she wouldn't just slide down. I started to climb up after her, and then I heard people saying "there they are," referring to Gabriel and Katrina coming down.

Gabriel told me later that the platform they'd been on at the top had sunk down, and he had a hard time pulling her out, partly because she resisted his help, but he managed to pull her out and get her to slide down anyway. What a terrific big brother!

I was lucky he was up there with her, because he met up with a friend from school at the street fair, a kid he'd been asking for a playdate with, and who happens to live in our strange little neighborhood enclave. Most of his time was spent running around like crazy with his friend, and in fact I left Gabriel at the fair with his friend after the slide deflation incident to take Katrina home. I met his friend's mother, and she was happy to have Gabriel over for a playdate during/after the fair. So I told Gabriel to come home at 5:00, and knew it'd take him maybe 5 minutes to walk home.

Julian spent the day at The Tech Museum with our neighbors across the street, who have a 3rd-grade boy that he's made friends with. Julian had gone over to see if his friend could play, and they were on their way to the museum and invited Julian. He didn't get back until 6pm, so he was entertained unexpectedly all day.

Katrina has a classmate who I think I've seen walking with her parents not far from our house, which also suggests they're neighbors. It'll be a while before I'll tell Katrina to just go to a kid's house and ask if they can play, but in two years, sure.

Can it be? Do we actually have signs of a neighborhood here? Kids knocking on each other's doors and asking if a friend can play? It seems so .... well, suburban -- but it's a really, really good thing. I was so happy to see the boys playing with friends today, and without any work or coordination on my part -- perfect. Is that what a neighborhood is about?! 9/5/11