5/28/08 Going Postal

I can see the headline now: "Crazed woman strangles city planning commissioner -- cites permit delays."

The city isn't going to give us our permits Friday!!!!!

And you know why? NO! You know why you don't know?? 'Cause they won't tell us until Friday why they can't give us the permits on Friday! They can only tell us today that there are "comments" -- translation: no permits.

Dave got lucky that he caught the planning person managing our project, in fact, or we'd have known none of this. Five departments have to review our plans. Two have signed off, one has redlined with comments -- automatically costing us at least another two weeks -- and two more departments haven't even looked at them yet!!

And the comments from all departments are "due" Friday, but they don't say when on Friday. Our architect tried to pin the guy down too, but he just says "Friday." More pushing, the most he'd commit to was "afternoon."

These people are messing with my life!! This is my house, not a junior high school book report -- what's this cr*p about not even looking at the plans until almost the last day?! And more cr*p about any random time during the due date that they'll be ready?

They've had the plans since April 8, at which point it took them 3 weeks to decide that our neighbors deserved yet another 3 weeks to look at them, after which it's another 3 weeks before they come back and tell us that they have comments, starting off yet another 3 week wait.

It's infuriating. They're taking months to take over $8000 in permit fees from us. $8000!! I tend to expect a little service!

Thank goodness for kids. Nothing is a stronger reminder of "life goes on." A fun afternoon of markers brings me down to earth, though I wasn't the one having the fun.



Katrina was arranging and counting the markers are much as she was drawing with them. You regular readers can already anticipate the scene when I had to pry her away. She seriously disapproved of this change of state, though she recovered once the car got moving, thank goodness.

The key to broccoli: a fork! Katrina thinks it's great fun to try to stab broccoli florets, though sometimes she picks them up and sticks them on the fork. Fine with me -- a whole bowl of broccoli consumed this way. Yay green vegetables and vitamin C!

I feel such intense pressure to get things ready to move, things ready to remodel (productive meeting with the window salesman today, and another tomorrow with him again, this time with architect), to produce at work, and to take care of my Dad's affairs....and yet kids again remind me that life goes on. Despite mounting deadlines, tomorrow I'm missing work to take Gabriel to the pediatrician. His left ear has been bothering him on and off for days, and tonight he had a low-grade fever again. Probably fighting an ear infection again, as he has no other symptoms -- only "WHA-AAT?"

A day alone with my son...not so bad. Life goes on.

5/28/08

5/27/08

Talked to a moving company today. I can't believe how much work we have ahead of us. And since I've been missing so much work, I'm going to work tonight.

On the way to pick up Katrina, Julian asked me to play music "that's in the car already," meaning, CDs rather than the radio. He wanted to identify different instruments in songs: "Trumpet!" "Drums!" "Piano!" I didn't have the heart to tell him that Alan Parsons Project is highly synthesized and I wasn't sure if any of the instruments were real. Still, his enthusiasm was fun.

I can already see this fascination with playing games on the Lego Web site eroding Julian's ability to entertain himself. Lately it's become a real struggle to pry him away, and he whines and complains that he wants to play on the computer. He's been a real pain lately anyway -- cause or effect?

One school of thought would be that he needs his own computer and place to play games, but somehow I dig in and feel the exact opposite -- the game-playing should remain in a privileged place, on computers that aren't theirs and they have to ask permission to use, and we can maintain tight control over (though we haven't). I know their own computers are inevitable, but at this stage of their lives, I see free access to computers -- or even increased access beyond what they have now -- only interfering with their learning.

I succeeded in "closing the office," and now Julian and Gabriel are making up games together with Lego cars, instead of playing electronic games with Lego cars. Splitting hairs? Not at all. Even if they model their games after the Web games, their interactive play is completely different than having the computer do it all for you. I'm not opposed to computer games in moderation, but "moderation" is not in the Top Ten of kid skills! At least not mine.

"Games people play, you take it or you leave it..."

5/27/08

5/25/08 The Flip side to tantrumers

Hoo boy, did we pay dearly today for the sleepover -- but only with Julian. He was a real pain this evening, threw a huge fit before dinner, then fell asleep on the bathroom floor during dinner. When he woke up, it was one complaint and whine and fake-crying after another. Dave commented that it seems we got a drama queen after all, and it's our son!

For as difficult as Gabriel can be, whining and drama isn't among his foibles. Katrina is following in Gabriel's footsteps in terms of temperament, with the notable exception that she will cry if she's scolded, though it's an angry cry, not a hurt cry, and is often followed up by an act of aggression.

Could it be that tough-cookie tantruming personality traits disincline a kid toward whining? Of course I don't mean that they're mutually exclusive; Julian can throw a tantrum and Gabriel from time to time can complain, but at least in this household, there's a definite pattern that the stronger personalities are less likely to whine -- and the softer personality is less likely to wage all-out war.

Dave noticed today that Katrina now really is counting -- not just reciting numbers as she has been for months, but actually moving objects one at a time as she counts them. That and her relentless fascination with all things wheeled made him add that she really is like a female toned-down version of Gabriel (with the huge exceptions of crying when scolded, and no language delay). Dave isn't into personality analysis, so this made a strong impression!

I'm wondering how audible our day-to-day antics will be to our new neighbors. It's really interesting exploring another house -- it's layout changes a lot of things in our lives. We're not on a corner now, so we have neighbors on either side, and close. But the backyard butts up against another backyard -- no more neighbors waving at us through her kitchen window while we're having dinner.

I took the boys to the "new" house this afternoon to figure out where furniture would go and what room would do what. This house is smaller than ours, but is far and away the largest rental we saw, and has a huge benefit: an attached garage! That's a luxury I could quickly get used to. Also, there is a living room, dining room and family room, plus the 4 bedrooms, to help us spread out. The 3 bedrooms aren't huge, but we really can't complain.

Still, there will be some challenges. Everything is so cheap in the new house -- the kitchen faucet is awful (and I'm very in-tune with faucets these days!), the doors and walls are thin, the windows drafty and ugly. And none of the outlets are grounded -- this will be a big challenge plugging in all our computer and office equipment! Tomorrow a moving company is scoping out the job, and they're skeptical that we can fit a 2600 sq.ft. house into an 1800 sq.ft one.

I came up with a stroke of genius -- rare for me these days -- in how to figure out what to move where. I wrote down each piece of furniture and its width on a separate sticky note, at home. Then at the "new" house, I walked around the rooms and put a sticky note the wall where I thought each item could go. This was really helpful! Now I have a decent idea of how our house will be arranged, what items will have to be left behind (my craft area, sob!); others will go into different rooms. If I were REALLY organized, I'd take a photo of each piece of furniture, print it, cut it out, and tape it to the wall for the movers, but that's a lot of work. I don't feel like it.

Gabriel couldn't understand why all three of them couldn't share a room. Not because thinks it's unfair Katrina gets her own room (that comes later), but because he wants to take care of her at night. Awww!

The boys had a great time measuring stuff, with Gabriel actually measuring walls and helping me decide if a bookshelf or something would fit there. I had him measure the !TWO!Walk-in!Closets!! in the master bedroom and taught him the Very Important Rule that MOM gets the biggest closet.


I brought a carload of stuff over, mostly to make spending a few hours there easier -- toilet paper, snacks, pantry items, pen and paper, baby-changing stuff. I was just about done putting the sticky notes on the wall when Dave and Katrina arrived. The boys had been pretty cool up to that point, but Katrina's energy and excitement revved them up -- she was thrilled to be back at her playplace. It was hard to get much done after that, but I glowed in enjoyment and pride at watching my joyful children playing together.

Then, another major change in our lives: Trader Joe's! My favorite TJ's will now be inconvenient, but a lesser one will be downright easy to get to, as I learned when I took Katrina there after leaving the "new" house. A different TJs...wow.

Praise be...Julian finally stopped wailing. He may not tantrum the way his siblings do, but he can still make life miserable for a long long long time.

5/25/08

5/25/08 Sleepover

In theory, kids sleepover at Tonya's, big headway on deciding what goes where in the "new" house.

In practice, a nice Central Coast zinfandel, a foofy salad, grilled fish, coconut creme brulee at a cozy Italian restaurant.

And now, bedtime at the "old" house.

5/25/08

5/24/08 The faucet

What a day...really, what a night. I had a meeting with the kitchen designer today, so spent some time last night getting ready for it. Unfortunately, a headache that I thought had been kept at bay greatly intensified, keeping me up late, and made worse by an early-morning attempt at drugs (codeine) which pretty much fended off any remaining chance I had at real sleep.

So I was a wasted mess today...but well-prepared for the meeting. Somehow, inspiration from the only 10 minutes I've seen all year of Divine Design on HGTV pulled together the entertainment area together quickly, and we're all thrilled with it. Now the only major decisions left are the kitchen sink and faucet.

Dave took the three to Stanford this morning for a follow-up session for the language study we volunteered Katrina for, then brought them to Melissa's and joined me at the kitchen design place. Dave doesn't care all that much about every detail, but he's much more decisive and clear-thinking than I am, so a cabinet style for the entertainment area was finalized easily.

Dave and I went to lunch, and then walked to the nearby window and fireplace store. On the way, we walked by a plumbing supply place, which happened to have a faucet on display I'd wanted to see in real life. It's perfect. And I don't say that lightly. The handspray thing feels great, and the button to turn the spray mode on and off works fabulously. (Dave prefers a single-handle faucet, and since I want him to use the faucet, a lot, then single-handle it is!)

As I basked in the glow of a major decision made, I marvelled again at a mom friend who is so relaxed about her kitchen faucet that she told her husband to just pick whatever. Such decisiveness and flexibility is as utterly foreign a world to me as is, oh, say, optometry. And what would I do with all that extra time?

Back at home with the bunch, the boys went straight to play games on www.lego.com (this is starting to become a problem), and Katrina went straight outside to play on the tricycle. She can reach the ground well enough to push it around with one foot, saying "whee!" when she pushes it in a circle.


Katrina says "whee" on the tricycle
She played like this on the tricycle for at least 40 minutes, and on and off many other times throughout the afternoon, getting off only long enough to try out another tricycle. She probably could pedal one now if she'd let anyone show her how, but she loudly rejects any offers of help.

Katrina wasn't too keen on dinner tonight, but I did get her to eat some vanilla soy yogurt, a favorite. I took this video so you all could marvel at my bravery, allowing a 19-month-old to eat something on her own that is so drippy and with such huge potential for splashing. And usually without a bib; this was a rare occasion that she permitted one.

Katrina and drippy soy yogurt

Truth is, I have no choice. Katrina will sometimes accept bites of food if I'm holding her and impulsively offer her a spoon, but sitting and spoon-feeding her is a thing of the past. The mere offer can be a serious offense punishable by throwing, screaming, kicking and potentially, a meal-ruining tantrum. So now, even the goopiest, messiest food, she eats on her own, whether I like it or not. I do.

Last night as I tossed and turned with visions of kitchen sinks bashing my head, a moment of lucidity prompted the question: "what will keep me awake at night when all my remodeling decisions are made?"

5/24/08

5/23/08 Decisions, decisions

This is torture. For someone as indecisive as I am, especially about "design," designing an entire home is staggering. For many people, it'd be fun, and it is fun, but I'm so out of my element. It's no big deal if I make a bad decision in a scrapbook page, but in a house?

So I had my first meeting with an interior designer today. Fortunately, my designer is also my most talented architect! There are a lot of advantages to this. The interior designer says, "Let's put a seating area in the bay of this bay window," and the architect says, "OK, so place the window 24" above floor level." The interior designer says, "Let's put the chunky trim above the living-room window," and the architect says, "OK, we'll have to lower the window a little." It's a lot easier when these two are the same person.

Note that an interior designer isn't an interior decorator. We're not picking fabrics or armchair styles. The distinction is whether or not the item is attached to the house. If it is -- like a doorknob, baseboard trim, built-in shelf, fireplace tile etc -- then it's interior design. If it's not attached -- furniture, curtains, rugs -- then it's interior decorating, though obviously there are crossover items.

So, 3 hours later, I know what material, style and stain color the living room trim will be, I have two schemes for the hall and new guest suite (painted or wood?), and I'm ready to order all the windows and exterior doors. And we're only one-fourth done with the entire interior design -- it'll take at least another 3 hours to figure out the 3 bathrooms! But this is all worth it -- our upstairs remodel seriously suffered from not asking these questions ahead of time and having to make decisions on the spot, often badly, and resulting in expensive changes later.

Gabriel has joined a "knitting club" at the CDC. He's in good company, as his grandmother, aunt and yes, even mother, all knit. He likes to finger-knit scarves for his Bear. I took a short video of it -- right as Julian juuuust missed making it to the potty, something he never ever does anymore (hence the goofy audio in the background!):

Gabriel knitting


We took the kids to Spoons for dinner tonight, with the intent of visiting the "new house" afterward since it's so close -- we got the keys today! So we went over to scope it out.

The kids all thought this was fabulous fun, especially Katrina.


My "new" kitchen. Ugly, but, notice those yellow streaks in there? SUNSHINE!


The funky authentic wood fireplace, as viewed from the kitchen.


One of the ultra-plain bedrooms. All three non-master bedrooms are 9'x11' and are right next to each other. This house is a time capsule to the late 1960s -- no architectural wonder by any means, and finished cheaply.


It's not bad for space (1800 sq.ft. and a sizeable, if oddly-shaped, yard) and it's nice and bright. The grassy part of the yard isn't visible from the kitchen; instead a huge useless unshaded concrete patio is. That nasty antenna mast attached to the house is more than a vestigial eyesore, it's also a magnet for toddlers with rocks to bang on noisily.

Katrina insisted on going allllll the way around the house to the far side, where she could play with rocks. My architect has a daughter just 2 months older, and was telling me today about something I know nothing about: clingy. Sigh. That could be useful sometimes. ("Mom out of sight? Who cares?!") Fortunately, brothers were on the job.

Now on top of deciding what goes into our remodeled house, we have to decide where to put stuff in the "new" house. And I'm meeting with our kitchen designer tomorrow to decide how to set up the entertainment area. More decisions! This is too much!

5/23/08

5/22/08 Tough Questions

In the last few weeks, I've gotten the big doozies:

"Where do babies come from?"

"What's war?"

"Who's God?"

Actually, in some ways the hardest one to answer is the one about war, because it's hard to make light of it. And hard to put them off, because it involves so many cool vehicles and things that blow up and -- yes -- death.

All of thequestions come from Julian, though it didn't take much to hook Gabriel on the war talk.

Today was God. Julian heard something on the radio as we were driving (I almost always listen to NPR) and asked, "Is God where good food comes from?" I said something like that Mother Nature makes food, and that God looked over nature. "Who is God?" he asked. "He's someone many people believe in," I answered, hoping not to be asked the obvious follow-up question. "Where is God?" "He's all around, all over, in the sky, in the trees, everywhere." "Is God here, right now?"

This actually was easier than talking about what bullets and bombs do, as I did last week. Fortunately, I found a way to describe what bombs do without it sounding too bad: blow up train tracks so that trains can't bring more bullets to the bad guys. (Gabriel wanted to know the train connection). Whew.

Super productive meeting with the kitchen designer and contractor together this morning. I couldn't follow most of it, but hearing them ask each other questions and figure out when, where and how to install and order things (dishwasher air gaps, hood liners, toe kicks, outlets etc), I could see one future problem after another getting solved -- prevented -- right before my eyes. A far, far cry from the upstairs remodel: the cabinetmaker telling me to order the cabinet after he'd measured the finished area; the carpenters telling me they'd sheetrock after the cabinets had arrived; me feeling left like I was the first person ever to try to get the people who build the walls and the people who put stuff in the walls to work at the same time.

This project is really going to go well. But I'm the weak link. I absolutely must have every faucet, bathtub, tile, doorknob, window, banister, paint color picked as soon as possible. Everything and the kitchen sink!

5/22/08

5/21/08 Slammed

Unbelievable. I was torn out of a sound sleep this morning by intense headache pain, which only increased as I got myself and everyone else ready. I couldn't stop yawning and feeling like I'd fall asleep with every blink as I dropped the boys and then Katrina off, so went straight back home to take an essential nap before work. But at work, the first person who saw me made a quizzical face and asked what was wrong, I guess because I was squinting or making a face or something.

I'm beside myself. I just went through weeks of this! I've had migraines since adolescence, but never so frequent, long-lasting or severe as since Katrina was born.

I asked Dave to take the boys to dinner tonight so that I didn't have to deal with dinner and could have a nice evening alone with Katrina. But the first 45 minutes were seriously ugly. She got into a major tantrum the instant we got home, and her nonstop crying felt like it was going to send me into seizures. After trying the usual everything, I put on my iPod to try to drown out her crying, which finally worked indirectly, as she got interested in the iPod screen, enough to calm down to take a bite of rice. And then another, and another....but it took over 15 minutes of carrying her and feeding her (something she rarely allows anymore) slowly and carefully for a good mood to take hold.

Then she played outside, ringing the bicycle bell on Gabriel's "cy," and now she's happily chatting at TuxPaint, a Mac drawing program for kids, though she doesn't quite get the idea that she can "paint" with the mouse.

OK, phew, she's in good shape now. But what about me? Maybe migraine nights aren't the right time to send the boys away. I could use a soothing Julian kiss about now.

5/21/08

5/20/08 The D.J.

Our electronic piano serves as a sort of primitive, if gigantic, iPod of sorts. Julian likes to sing aloud to songs it plays. Until he's discovered, that is.


Then he unplugged the headphones and "played" some songs so that Katrina could "dance." This is a game they'd developed that I didn't know about.

This is grandparent-quality video, but does give a decent idea of her delightful, fun, silly, outgoing side. Which, for all my complaining, is how she is most of the time. It's just that it can turn ugly in a matter of seconds if someone, especially me, offends her.

I found a few family daycares today close to our "new" house....yeah, 3 pickups again, but I'd still rather have Katrina in family daycare if I can find one. Tonya and Melissa aren't just daycare providers, they're part of the family; they've helped me raise my kids. Though they both live too far now, I'm not sure I can cut my own cord yet!

As if I have time to make more phone calls. This week I'm meeting with our kitchen designer and contractor together, then the architect, then the kitchen designer again. And tomorrow we call moving companies, targeting Friday June 6 to move to the "new" house! GULP! I think that means we'll hold the "before" open house on Sunday June 8th, in the late morning. It's entirely possible the first demolition crews will arrive Monday the 9th.

5/20/08

5/19/08 Mom schoolwork

Skimming through the mounds of schoolwork Gabriel brings home every week, I ran across this paper, which has pre-printed prompting words and then he's supposed to complete the sentence.

It says:


Name: Gabriel

I love my mom for many reasons.

My mom cooks for me.

She also makes train tracks with me.

My mom loves me.

* write something else about your mom.

I love my mom a lot.

I didn't think much of this until I caught the last line, in which he'd underlined "a lot." Nice to know I'm doing something right!

5/19/08 The Meeting

Sort of a corporate meeting term, the "project kickoff" meeting.

That's what Dave and I had today with our contractor this afternoon, to talk about the big items to get started on our remodel. Permits, of course, are the biggest "gating item," but we talked about ways to "parallel process," so as to be ready to hit the ground running when permits come in. Demolition can start when temporary power is set up, and that should be around the second week of June, assuming we get our permits May 30. So our "action item" is to be out by June 7, our "drop-dead" date.

But first, music class. Katrina was in good form for the most part, though I nearly started a few tantrums by attempting to derail her shoe obsession, trying to get her to join the class. Don't I know better by now?


This new 17-month-old classmate capivates me, I'm not sure I've ever see a more stunningly beautiful toddler. Meaning no disrespect, she reminds me of Suri Cruise.


After music class, I went to my old longtime gym that I haven't been to in ages, to take my favorite Power Weights class. I ran into some old friends there and caught up briefly, including a friend with a boy kindergartner. She'd moved to Los Gatos partly for the better schools, but still isn't happy with them and wants to put her son in private school. He has a late birthday in 2001, so she held him back a year and says that it was the right choice, since he's doing so well academically. She said proudly that he reads at the level of a 7 or 8 year old, and that they do a lot of enrichment work with him after school.

About all I had to say about my kindergartner was, "uhh, yeah, well, he gets in trouble a lot." I just had absolutely nothing to relate to. I'm fine with public school, I'm not any more concerned about his academic development than any other aspects, I have no idea what age level he reads at, and I don't do enrichment work. Totally lame or totally relaxed? ....Don't answer that.

I went home and took a nap. There was no mistaking it by now....what started as a mild headache this morning had escalated. That explains why I found myself in a left-turn-only lane one street too soon this morning on the way to music class, not completely sure why it all looked so different. Why I couldn't quite yawning all morning. And, a new thing, why I was so cold after my nap, and have been so cold at work during this heat wave. D*MN IT! I got a glorious 6-day break after a nasty 15-day spell of migraine -- not again, not already! Fortunately it's OK tonight; I'm hoping this was a rare hours-long migraine that won't develop in another weeks-long one.

We're in the mad scramble to clean up tonight for house cleaners coming tomorrow -- it almost seems silly for them to do too good a job when most of what they will so diligently scrub will soon be carted out of here in pieces!

5/19/08

5/18/08 Up downtime

Arrrgh. Did I say the boys needed downtime at home, without anything scheduled? They were horrible today! Resistant, obnoxious, constantly saying annoying things, making lots of obnoxious sounds, pillow fights, hitting each other, kicking each other....just being kids, right? Yeah. Annoying kids. Maybe even bored kids.

Sunday nights, the boys are offered two TV shows, but they have to clean up the family room before dinner to earn the second show. Tonight they didn't want to do that, and I was very clear with them: only ONE show then. So what do you think happens after the one show is over? A total Julian meltdown because he wants two shows, despite the careful warning.

Finally they settled down to play outside after their TV show.

They sure got their share of each other this weekend, playing together almost nonstop. It's actually quite heartwarming to listen to them talk together, though Gabriel is usually pretty dominant. Tonight I heard him say, as he was explaining something about their truck-and-rope arrangement, "OK. Now, so, I'm very smart, but of course (rolling his eyes), everyone knows that." Good grief! I butted in and said, "No, you're just very conceited!"

Katrina had a rare day of being the favorite around here, being generally funny and adorable and making cute sounds and...dare I say it, sweet? Well, not quite, but lots of fun anyway.

Dave took her to Stanford yesterday to be a subject in a language study, and the researchers asked him if she was putting two words together yet. Dave said he didn't think so (he hasn't heard her say "My (anything)"). Tonight she was picking at dinner (she's been eating horribly), and he held up a piece of bread and said, "bite?" She glared at him and practically roared, "NOOO BIYE!" OK, well, I guess she showed him -- on two counts!

The pressure to prepare for remodeling and moving is constant and unrelenting. Some progress today, never enough -- I guess slow-n-steady will be the key.

5/18/08

5/17/08 Procrastination

SO much to do -- it is truly overwhelming. So much so that playing with the kids today seemed a fine way to procrastinate. They really needed some plain old hang-around-home downtime.

It was still hot enough today to warrant setting up our ball-suspending sprinkler. This was a first: Gabriel said he didn't want to go naked. Naturally, Julian followed suit (hah), though neither minded changing in front of me. Katrina of course didn't care.



Later, I took the boys with me to drop off a meal for a 2006 mom who just had a 2008 baby, then we stopped by the "new house."

We explored the backyard, complete with flowerbed and -- how handy -- a clothesline rack!

I'm pretty sure the low wall at the entry to the house didn't have those hands when we first checked it out.


I had to explain that we're just borrowing this house while the "carpenters" fix the house we have.

When we got back home, Gabriel asked me, "When are we finally going for a walk around the block?" as though it was something he'd been bugging me about for months. I was surprised, but I thought it was a great idea. A lot better than trying to pack! So we went for a walk -- well, really more of a run.

I mostly walked, but sprinted after them as needed, where "need" was to remind them of my current athletic superiority. I'm keenly aware how short-lived that is.

So aware that as soon as the kids had dinner in front of them, I went to my favorite county park and ran a route I haven't for some time. My left arch didn't like this, and I can feel some foot buzzing now, but overall it was totally worth it. Even being able to run a little is OK. I can cross-train; I'm fortunate that as a runner I like to swim (many runners don't and I totally understand why), though swimming isn't enough to stay in running shape. I'm hoping to add cycling into the mix.

Which reminds me: MRI results. Anticlimactic. Unfortunately, my doctor called right was I was serving the kids dinner, so I really couldn't concentrate or take notes, but the jist of it was that while there is some disk bulging, there's nothing bad enough to treat right now. But at least I know who to call if my back gives me trouble again.

While I was running tonight, I realized I really need some new music. Then on the drive home, I heard the song "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrisette, a song I know but have never really listened to. As is so often the case after running, my mind was open and focused and completely absorbed the song. And WOW -- was she ever pissed off when she wrote that one!! There are some nasty lyrics in there! It's bitter, surly, sarcastic -- the instant I got home, I went straight to iTunes, bought the song, and put it in the first position in my running playlist on my iPod. I can't wait to run to it.

I did pack up a lot of baby stuff today at least. Incredibly, we were accepted as tenants to another house today too.

5/17/08

5/15/08 The Fashion Don't

Flashy or Trashy?
Do or Don't?
Fabulous or Faux Pas?

Yeah, I don't think she'll be hitting the red carpet anytime soon. Even Angelina Jolie couldn't pull off the stinky sneakers.

Still ultra-hot here. Downright stifling inside. One of the few days in a year that we could actually use A/C downstairs.

I sat and talked to Julian tonight while he had dinner. He wanted to know how we knew the sun was a planet, then asked if people could carry the sun. When I said no, the sun is much too big for people, he asked, "What about 10,000 people?" and then, "What if the people were really big, so big they were bigger than this house?" It's so cute -- and quite fascinating -- watching him reach out to learn what's big and small.

What wasn't cute was hearing him and Gabriel shouting their favorite new phase (f---ing b-----) in our backyard together. As soon as I heard that, I yanked them inside very seriously and told them they couldn't play out back if they said things like that. I tried several times, but being together, they wouldn't take me seriously despite my genuinely grave manner. Unfortunately, it took a group spank to get their attention.

Then in the bath, I told them a story of a friend who got his mouth washed out with soap for saying a bad word, and that he never did it again. I had to explain that bad words means you have a dirty mouth, and that soap tastes terrible. Gabriel started to laugh, but Julian was intimidated. I kept going, and used people they know as an example. "Would you say those mean mean things to Bo Yuan?" (our next-door neighbor who they love). "What if someone said that to Katrina?"

Well, I think all I accomplished was further impressing upon them the power of the words. But the truth is, I really don't want our neighbors to hear that, and I really will forbid them from playing outside. And you know, I really will carry out the soap threat.

I MUST work on remodeling decisions and packing...but it's 10pm, finally everyone's in bed, everything's cleaned up -- I just wanna VEG! Oh good, there's Dave with some sushi.

5/15/08

5/14/08 Hot Child in the City

...well, in the suburbs. It was over 100 degrees today. Katrina had a great time playing in a sprinkler in Melissa's backyard.

Hot, hot, HOT! I like it!

Well, except for having to bundle up in three layers, including two fleece jackets, at work, where it's about 60, and blowing on me all day. It is freakin' COLD in there. Cold, cold, COLD! I hate it!

We were accepted for a house rental today! Working on signing a lease and getting a cashier's check. A cashier's check! Who does these things anymore?!

5/14/08

5/14/08 Mom's playdate

I told Gabriel tonight I was going out with my Mom friends, and he asked why. I told him that sometimes mommies like to get together without our children, even though we mommies all love you SOOO much. I added rhetorically, "Don't you like some time away from me too?" And Gabriel answered, very matter-of-factly and sincerely, "No."

Julian too had a hard time with my "Mom's playdate," whining that he wanted to go with me. I said "No, it's only for mommies!" and he still said he wanted to go. I explained further, "Not even Daddies are allowed!" He considered this for a few moments, then asked, "What happens if Daddies go, do they get all cut up?" Yup, pretty much.

Talking with three other toddler-moms (this was the 2006 group), I started to feel like my life is a breeze. All three were still dealing with being woken up at night and ongoing sleep deprivation, and two with going through rigamarole of getting them to sleep. Car behavior came up too, and again I felt like I have it super-easy -- times three: none of our trio have ever given us any consistent trouble in the car. When conversation turns to self-entertaining, I'm back in familiar territory, which is bragging shamelessly about how even my 19-month-old will sit and play with a book on her own for 20-30 minutes.

Who knew I had such an easy toddler?

(Of course, once Betsy arrives, the "easiest toddler" scepter is instantly passed!)

Katrina likes "mana-manas" (bananas), but if the banana falls out of the peel, forget it!

She did start in one one tantrum tonight, but only her heart and not her soul was in it. I was able to get her out by getting Gabriel to give her a sippy-cup of milk instead of me, testing a hypothesis that he didn't have sufficient antagonistic value. He also did something silly to entertain her too, which worked. She dropped the campaign long enough to taste dinner (mm! mashed potatoes with green stuff!), and the tantrum was derailed.

Imagine. Me with the "easy" toddler!

5/14/08

5/13/08 Who's that?

Katrina is having fun putting her hand on me and saying, "Dada!" She's making a joke of course. She's being very silly tonight.

A far cry from this morning, which was tantrumville again. This is tough -- how much time should I invest in the mornings in getting her over it, then for her to eat breakfast? Answer: less and less.

I had a fun moment at work today though: playing ping-pong! OK, I lost soundly in two games, but it was fun. And no shortage of young Asian men there to practice with and beat me.

I'm going to bed early tonight. My tummy isn't right, and juding my Katrina's diapers and her reticent eating, neither is hers. But the migraine finally, finally broke, after 15 days. I'll take tummy troubles for that.

Dave took the boys out to dinner, so I'm having a nice evening with Katrina bopping aorund and making the cutest sounds (nonstop). Even if she thinks it's funny to call me Dada.

5/13/08

5/

5/12/08 The Shift

As I was driving away from picking up Julian, I thought my car had been suddenly sideswiped by a big blast of wind. The air pressure inside the car increased too, sort of like when the sunroof is open without any other windows. I was taken aback, but soon realized what this was. A migraine moment.

Later as I was making dinner, all of a sudden, the kitchen lights got slightly brighter. My kitchen is famously dingy, so this was a real surprise. Then they did again. An electrical surge? Yes, but not in the house wiring -- it was in my head wiring.

15 days and counting on this one. Today the actual headache pain is down to a 2 out of 10, but I sure could do without all the special effects.

That wasn't the biggest shock I'd get driving. Driving with the boys on our way to get Katrina, I saw what I thought was a funny color on a car (sort of a metallic lime green). We got talking about names of colors, like that my car is "wintergreen," but what is that funny light green called? So Julian offered, "f*ck*ng b*tch!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy Sh*t!!

I mean, er, umm, excuse me, but what?!

Apparently he got this from a chum at school, one of the few who isn't from foreign-born parents. This is one very good thing about so many of our kids' classmates coming from families raised in other languages -- when they repeat bad language learned from home, we can't understand it! I wonder what Julian's passed on to his classmates that he's learned from me?

I debated for a moment ignoring it, having learned from Julian's "dammit" phase as a toddler that giving something too much attention only cements its power in their little minds. But the bad words quickly spread to Gabriel, and within seconds they were shouting it together at the top of their lungs. This had to be dealt with.

I explained to them that some words aren't "kid words," and that kids aren't allowed to say bad words. Saying bad words is like bad table manners, and no one wants to be around kids with bad manners. I introduced them to the word "offensive," and said that offensive words make people angry and that grownups might misunderstand if they say words like that. I have no idea if I deterred them from using these words, but I'm certain I permanently instilled their power. Great.

Gabriel didn't have school today, so I brought him to music class this morning with Katrina. He was really looking forward to it, and he had a great time in class playing with Katrina.

First she insisted on sitting in his lap. Hmmph!

Then he walked her around when we did a music train.

The kids gathered on a wall to be little mice, and he walked her through waiting on the wall, then scampering across the room at the right time.

We managed to avoid any major fits in class, thanks to him! To me, it doesn't get any sweeter than to see Katrina in the capable hands of her brother.

Sweetness can turn sour quickly though. When we got home, it was back to Tantrum Land. I think this one got started because I had to put my hand on her tummy as I carried her inside from the car. She tried very hard to push my hand away, which of course would have caused me to drop her. Oh, the offense!

It lasted a solid 20 minutes, during which time I prepared a highly desirable dinner and her milk, and then managed to casually persuade her to take a few bites. If she gets hooked on the food, the tantrum passes. Big if.

This afternoon, Gabriel and I played a game of computer chess. He's not so good -- I was able to win even though I barely remember how the pieces move, and didn't remember essential elements like pawns getting promoted to queens. Losing to me is pretty pathetic -- I'm so bad at chess that I almost lost to 6-year-old! It's fun, I like playing chess with him. He gets very excited when he takes one of my pieces and I wasn't expecting it, and I make a big deal out of losing my piece.

Believe it or not, in all this, I got a lot done today on preparing for remodeling. I'm taking Mondays off for a while, a good choice for a day "off" since I can only get in 4 hours of work anyway between music class and piano lessons. Dave looked at a rental house tonight that's a good prospect, except that there were 3 other families looking at it too. We're very unattractive tenants with our 8-month term.

In some ways, I'm looking forward to getting back to the relative calm of work tomorrow! And oh my, wouldn't it be nice to have a headache-free day again. I'm forgetting what they're like.

5/12/08

5/11/08 Mother's Day

All I wanted for Mother's Day was a photo of me and all three. Naturally, Katrina had her own ideas.

The boys were cooperative and fun though.

Finally, I captured her and got one photo in before she flipped, and got my Mother's Day wish.


Without these three, today would just be May 11th.

5/11/08

5/10/08 The Off-Site

Dave put an "offsite" meeting down on our Google calendar, meaning, our trio was going offsite for the day. Melissa watched the three most of the day, so that Dave and I could make serious headway on looking for a place to move, and organizing remodeling tasks.

We saw 4 places today, two actually with the kids. The biggest problem we're going to have is the rental terms: we need a place for about 8 months, but quite understandably, most landlords want a 1-year lease. Two of the places we saw were out of the question, one was swarmed with renters happy to sign a one-year lease, and one was a definite possibility except that it's small, a 3BR, without any extra rooms at all for things like computers or pianos. But its terms are a 3-month lease, so we might consider it.

I made good headway on a room-by-room list of everything needed, and we also went to a plumbing supply store, where I undid a kitchen faucet and kitchen sink decision, but finalized a bathroom faucet decision. One step forward, two steps backward. This is going to kill me. I'm learning not to care about most things, but so much of my day is shared with a kitchen faucet, it has to work right. Looking nice would be good too.

The boy later said they didn't like looking at houses, perhaps because they actually followed my strict orders to behave, not run, not touch anything. I was happy -- even proud -- to see how diligently Gabriel watched Katrina, holding her hand and keeping track of her, while Dave and I looked around.

At home, the kids resumed exactly what they'd been doing at Melissa's: playing out back with bicycles, tricycles, trucks and push-mowers. Katrina laughed aloud pushing around our pop-mower.

I'd have been more productive today without this ongoing headache, but at least it's back down to a 3 out of 10 again. I just don't have time for a migraine right now!

5/9/08