9/7/09 Labor on Labor Day

Whatever ambitions I had to do something fun with the kids today was quelled by overall laziness, and increasing guilt about many pressing office things that need to be done. After I got the laziness out of the way, I finally sat down to renew driver's license, pay my fine for my stop-sign ticket, make school donations, update the calendar for all the upcoming school events, untangle my compay's payroll this quarter, make estimated tax payments, return several packages of clothes I'd ordered...pain. I need a day off!

Besides, I'd taken them to an interesting outing yesterday anyway, to an aviation museum. I was hesitant about bringing Katrina, but she really likes airplanes (despite what she says about being afraid of jets), so I thought I'd risk it.

Overall it worked, as I'd coached myself ahead of time not to be too frustrated at being caught between two different ways of seeing a museum. One is the toddler-way: run around from thing to thing, touch stuff, push buttons, sit for a few minutes, but always keep moving. The other way is the little-boy way: spend hours inside a flight simulator and pounce on anything that smells in the slightest like a video game. Breadth versus depth.

First the history of aviation displays, which I found fascinating.



Katrina the Blue Angels pilot (in a genuine Blue Angels cockpit):



While the boys crashed time and time again in a flight simulator.


An "aerial" view.


Outside there's a part of an old 747, the double-decker kind. I had to test my skills in the pilot's seat.


Fortunately I had a very enthusiastic copilot.


This place kindly provides picnic tables, so they (basically) had lunch that I'd brought. Then we found a small kids' play area, where there were some very nice wooden play-aircraft, and yet another cockpit to play in, this one enclosed.



Just as we were about to leave, I took Katrina to the bathroom, and sent the boys into the boys' bathroom. Katrina fussed a lot in the bathroom (it was well past naptime), delaying us. I hoped the boys were being good outside the bathrooms....would that be possible? Please God, just this once? Can I cash in some good-mom karma for taking them to a cool museum?

No, Gabriel had the stroller in a big wheelie and was running it around in circles, hollering. Pretty much like he'd done at the first bathroom break.

But Julian had cornered a man behind an information desk. I heard him ask, "Did any of these planes ever really land?" pointing to the display planes hung from the ceiling. The man was visibly glad to see me, and said with an audible sigh of relief, "oh, there's your mother." He went on to answer Julian's question and a few more.

The man, impressed by the inquisitive 5-year-old, suggested to me that we get books about planes out of the library. "WAY ahead of you there, thanks!" I said. Not only do we have a pile of library books about planes and other military vehicles, but Gabriel's choice from his school library is "An Encyclopedia of Airplane Engines," or something like that. No wonder he declared with such authority that a turbo-prop jet engine doesn't have an afterburner. (I don't think that makes any sense, but what do I know?)

I am so intrigued by Julian's confidence and willingness to march up to someone in a position of authority and so clearly and seriously ask a question. No shyness, no giggling or looking at the ground, no whispering, and usually no prompting from grownups. The man must have been baffled that these two boys were related -- one acting like a total buffoon, and the other so studious.

Funny how I didn't like museums as a kid -- New York City is a great place to develop a dislike for museums, right? And now I really like taking the kids to them. I think I just found the right kind of museum.

9/7/09

9/5/09 The Orange Tree

Today I was hamstrung by too much to do, a terrible night sleeping, and just not feeling like doing anything. I've learned that when I feel overwhelmed by too much to do and not knowing where to start, to just pick something -- not necessarily the most pressing -- something to get started. Whatever pops to mind, to break the gridlock.

Today's gridlock-breaker was hardly the most important, nor the most urgent, thing on my to-do list, but thanks to the gridlock condition, it bubbled to the top. And that is: take care of my much-neglected lemon and orange trees. They've always been neglected, but at least they got water from the lawn irrigation system. Now they get nothing.

So today, I did a severe pruning on the lemon tree, raked and cleaned up around it, then sprinkled citrus food around the base, and watered it. Julian joined me for this project, which I was delighted by. He did the sprinkling and the watering.

Already tired, I knew our orange tree needed some attention, and told myself I'd just cut out some of the most obvious dead branches, and that was it. But I'd underestimated how addictive tree-pruning is. About two hours later, more of the tree was on the ground than was still on the tree.


Then it got the same treatment from Julian -- citrus-food sprinkling and then a nice deep-soak watering.


Julian wanted to play in the HUGE pile of branches and leaves (the disposal of which remains a big problem), but quickly found them too prickly.


Julian and I worked hard today! I spent the better part of the afternoon clipping branches while perched in the tree, eventually getting bold enough to climb up as high as the trunk branches would allow. Meanwhile, Julian picked up old "dead" oranges, set aside good ones, and piled the branches I clipped off into a big pile. By the end, my feet were sore from supporting me on tree branches, my arms scratched up, my face covered in dirt. But it was a very satisfying way to spend the afternoon (even if a professional tree pruner could have done a better job in half the time).

My mother says you can almost see a tree breathe with relief when you get rid of the undergrowth and dead branches. This one is practically singing for joy, despite the amateur work quality.


New swim lessons this morning. I didn't pay attention to Julian's class at all, believe it or not! I was intrigued to see that Gabriel's new class made him swim a full 20-yard length, which he can't do without stopping. But his classmates can, so that's a really good thing and I think he'll improve quickly.


The boys are wasted after an exciting birthday party that involved active playground play, then a movie in the community room at a park. What a great idea! I felt bad taking Katrina home early, but after 8pm she's a timebomb, even watching a cute movie. Thanks to our friends who drove the boys home!

9/5/09

9/4/09 Helping each other

For the most part, any "help" the kids give me is mostly "work" for me. I always feel like they get away with way too much, don't have enough responsibility, and they resist and complain if I do ask them to do things. I don't know yet how to fix that; it's so, so, SO much work to get them to do the smallest things, and I often just don't have the energy. Still, they think everything in life just comes to them. While there's no denying they come from privilege, I don't want them to grow up thinking they're going to be waited on all their lives.

But every so often my sparse efforts yield some good influence. Today Katrina wanted to set the table.


Then she ran outside to play on her "new" bicycle. Minutes later, I heard ear-piercing shrieks -- that is, more than usual -- and went out to reprimand Julian -- because he's usually behind them. Turns out, he was causing her shrieking, because he insisted she put her bicycle helmet on!

Then he spent a long, long, long time dutifully helping her ride her bicycle on the narrow strip that is left of our former yard. She can't turn her bicycle around, or even get it started pedaling on the uneven surface, and would screech for him to help her. And he did, again and again and again. He'd get on her bicycle to re-position it, or push her to get her going, only for her to get stuck a few seconds later and demand more help.


I was really heartwarmed to see how sweet and patient he was. She was really not grateful at all. In fact, she completely expected it. We're going to have to work on that. There's too much entitlement mentality going on around here.

9/4/09

9/3/09 Back To School Night

This morning, when I dropped Julian off, I chatted with a Dad who was wearing running clothes (a clear invitation to be nosy). Turns out, he's training for a marathon, and his wife is the one starting a Yahoo!Group for Julian's class. I met her at pickup and really liked her as well.

To my surprise, in our brief conversation, the dad mentioned that he lamented the lack of diversity in the kindergarten. He wants his (Indian, of course) daughter to integrate, be around....I forget his exact words, but the jist was the predominating culture. He said something also about how competitive the middle schools are, but that's as far as it got, since class was just starting. I was fascinated...I thought for the most part, Indian parents were focused on the schooling and academics and if they thought at all about the cultural mixture at the school, that they'd be relieved that it's mostly theirs. But I guess there's more to this than I thought.

Gabriel asked me today if home-schooling was "strict." I explained that it depended on the teacher, which is mostly Mom or Dad. He asked if I would home-school him, and I said off the top of my head, having never thought of it before, that I really liked his being in a regular school -- being around other kids, getting to know other grownups, working in groups, learning to work within schedules on his own, seeing other kids' work -- and then the peripheral things he gets from school, like Running Club. I have to give this more thought, but I found myself saying that I thought home-schooling would be too focused on, of all things, "learning."

Tonight we did the big back-to-school juggle. Back-to-School night involves a 45-minute presentation by a classroom's teacher, with parents squeezed into kid-chairs. No kids allowed, so our bunch went to the CDC, which had a special back-to-school night also.

I really wanted to seethe presentations by both Gabriel and Julian's teachers, but the K and 2 classroom times were at the same time. So I went to the K presentation, which started exactly on time and finished early. I came away really liking Julian's teacher, she seemed very efficient and on the ball and talked often about spending time with small groups of kids as needed according to ability. Since she finished early, I had time to catch the tail end of Gabriel's class presentation, which ran over slightly, and I left to get to the CDC by 8 to pick up our little monsters.

I was intrigued by Gabriel's teacher's description of the book report project his class has due in a month. There's a paper display they have to do, with drawings, descriptions, excerpts, and an original 5-sentence paragraph the kids have to do at home, then they present the report in class. Gabriel's teacher (one of them) said they (two of them) don't grade on the report itself, adding carefully that the degree of help kids get from parents varies a lot, so instead they grade the presentation itself. They look at how the kids make eye contact with the audience, do they project their voices, do they speak clearly, are they animated and engaging, do they offer interesting things about the book they've read. That's what gets a "6" on a scale of 1 to 6, she said, "because I know parents are very concerned about how to get a 6." Oh.

I was glad to hear that they don't grade based just on work that's done at home, but sorry to hear that judge the work primarily based on presentation skills. Not all kids are good at stuff like that, and seems to me it's harder to improve performance skills than the more traditional academic ones. Or, maybe for the first time I have to develop a skill in my kid that's not in his top 10 of natural abilities or inclinations. Plain old-fashioned regular sit-down paper-and-pencil math tests are more my .... er, I mean, Gabriel's element.

I was also more than a little put off by the discussion of grades at all, but, I guess that's inevitable in school life. Or maybe it was the teacher's repeated mentions of how concerned parents were about how to earn the higher grades.

OK, you made it through all that blather, you've earned yourself some photos. This morning I found a great photo-op for one with all three, but Katrina has adopted Gabriel's old habit of putting her fingers in her mouth at picture time. This was the best I got when I was trying.


I did a lot better when I wasn't trying.


I took this photo seconds before Julian fell off and landed so hard I thought for a second he'd broken his arm, but it was just a nasty scrape on his elbow.


Good thing parents don't get grades.

9/3/09

9/2/09 The Dictionary

Today, Gabriel's homework assignment included looking up two words in a "children's dictionary," out of a set of words provided.

Dave had pointed Gabriel to an online child's dictionary in preparation yesterday, since we don't have a "child's dictionary." (I wish the teachers wouldn't spring this stuff on us when we need to turn in homework every day. "Binder paper" was another basic supply we needed one night with no warning. This is the Google age -- who has binder paper around?)

But I didn't know about the online child's dictionary when I got Gabriel started on his homework tonight before Dave got home. Gabriel wanted to go to the computer, but I said No, and plunked a regular Webster's in front of him. Was I being too anal, too retro, too purist?

My doubts were immediately answered when I saw him open the dictionary. It hadn't occurred to him that the words were listed alphabetically.

Further, though he knows the alphabet well and reads fine, he didn't know how to find words in the dictionary. The basic algorithm of locating the section with the first letter, then finding the area with the second letter, and narrowing it down letter by letter until you find your word, isn't one you need to exercise when using an online dictionary. (Writing an online dictionary program involves an understanding of search algorithms, but how do programmers get there from 2nd grade?)

Gabriel caught on quickly, but there was more to learn: abbreviations, the difference between the origin of a word and its definition, multiple definitions. He only had to look up and write the definition of two words, and the first took some time. By the second he had a decent idea of what a real dictionary was about.

I was really struck by how much would have been lost by asking a computer to do most of the work. The basic format of a definition, recognizing and ruling out symbols and abbreviations, learning how to find a word in an alphabetical list, even judging how many words you pass with the thickness of a group of pages....All the online dictionary would have handed him, easily, were words defining "blossom." So much else would have been lost.

I can't make a case that online resources are life-threatening or that kids growing up on Google can't learn to use a dictionary, but my inner Luddite wonders if this effect pervades all aspects of learning. Maybe my generation has the best of it: we grew up with encyclopedias, but now have the information power of Google too. Still, I am really not a fan of computer use in the schools, above its being a necessary tool -- certainly not a topic in and of itself unless you're learning computer science, much of which is paper and math learning anyway.

But the #1 reason not to use an online dictionary is that without very very close supervision, homework time on the computer will surely turn into a Speed Racer game.

9/2/09

9/1/09 New Tuesdays

Today was my first Tuesday as a full-time Mom again!

I can't believe my ambivalence. Part of me feels like I'm leaving the Real World behind; another part feels like I'm re-joining it. I'm just not sure which world is the Real one yet.

Once again, I tested the boys going to their classrooms on their own. I think this will work in the future, but without Gabriel going to Julian's class. Julian is actually more conscientious than Gabriel is about minding the warning bell, and it dawned on me today that perhaps the "Kindergarten Playground" isn't supposed to have 2nd graders overrunning the 5-year-olds.



Or a bossy 2-year-old ordering kindergartners off the slide.



The part of me that looked forward to kindergarten drop-off and perhaps cornering a business-suit mom or two was sorely disappointed. Most of the dropoff-ers were Dads, to my surprise, and most were speaking other languages to their kids. It's not even clear to me that they can communicate with each other. I felt like a foreigner.

After dropoff, I took Katrina to the Y to get in a workout, then took her to what I hoped would be a well-attended playgroup. And it was, I had a nice time chatting with other Las Madres moms I know, all of whom have 2006-born babies but also have 2004 "babies" who just started kindergarten. One mom explained that she did "Mom's club" today, which means a group of moms from her neighborhood walk their kindergarteners to their neighborhood school, and when they're all accustomed to it, the moms will take turns walking groups of kids to school.

That school in particular, she said, has a much better balance of backgrounds (meaning, not all Indian, and this from an Indian mom). And so many moms want to volunteer in the kindergarten class that they actually have way too many. The discussion had me ready to sell our house and move. This other school is in the same district, but it might as well be in another world.

I couldn't take any chances with Katrina not taking a nap today. In fact, at lunch she started to get picky, and I felt annoyed. She doesn't give this duff to her preschool teachers, and she eats what she gets in her lunchbag! So after she deliberately dropped a piece of banana on the floor, I scooted her upstairs for her nap. But not before taping double pieces of black felt over her windows, to ward off every scrap of light that could go in her room.

Once again, more backtalk about wanting pajamas for nap (her favorite procrastinating move), and I thought, "too bad, positive parenters, this time, this toddler doesn't get what she wants." I don't know if it was my preschool-teacher attitude or the black felt on her windows, but she didn't tear apart her room, change her clothes, come out of her room with one excuse after another, or run laps around her room. She actually took a nap. Oh joy!

Tomorrow, back to work. It's going to take some adjustment to be a working-mom one day, then a full-time mom the next. Two such drastically different existences. It's like having each foot on either end of a seesaw, and lurching sickenly from one side to another, with a hard bang at each end. Somehow, I need to pull my feet closer to the fulcrum, and find my balance in the middle.

9/1/09

8/31/09 K-fun

Out of the blue at dinner, Julian blurted out something about a music class. "It was SOOOO fun!" he exclaimed. He got down on the floor and showed us some of the clapping patterns they did, and said random things about it that I don't remember now. The PTA sponsors music classes once every two weeks I think, and he must have had his first one today. Gabriel never said a word about music classes, but Julian couldn't stop talking about it. He loved it.

I asked Julian if other kids in his class get hot lunch, before remembering that he's an AMer, which means he and his AMer classmates leave class before lunch and don't deal with hot lunch at all. To my surprise, he still rattled off a list of names of kids who get hot lunch -- all PMers with whom he overlaps an hour and a half, and before lunch.

He can also tell me who his friends are (though he still struggles with some of the names), and various things about the class, like who's at what table. Such a difference from Gabriel, who gave a fraction of this information, and only with a lot of careful probing.

Thanks to Julian, I'm learning a lot about kindergarten!

8/31/09

8/30/09 Bike rotation

I went for a swim this morning, and returned to quite the charming scene: all three kids with their bike helmets on, riding around, and Dad doing varied bike maintenance. It's been the plan for a while that Gabriel should get the 18" bike Dave salvaged, Julian would get Gabriel's 16" bike, and Katrina would get one of the two 12" bikes we have, with training wheels. Part of that plan was implemented today.

Katrina "helped" Dave during this operation, by spinning the pedal of one upside-down bike.


She looked on during an adjustment of training wheels, after throwing a major fit about their presence at all.


And then she was willing to get on it! She half-pedaled, half-pushed it around. It's pretty tall for her. She doesn't mind the hand-me-down bike -- the T-shirt and Crocs are also hand-me downs. (For the record, I set out a darling white fitted T-shirt for her this morning, but she's getting increasingly opinionated about her clothes. Good thing I don't care that much: she went out later in pink flowered shorts with red-and-blue striped socks.)


Note the other wheeled vehicle in the background -- that's Gabriel playing on Katrina's tricycle. Now, really.


Gabriel's 18" bike is ready! Dave ended up replacing the handlebars with lower ones after I took this picture, and took the boys to the BMX park later in the afternoon. Julian was still on his yellow 12" bike, which is looking downright silly on him now.


Rats, I didn't get a picture of all three on cycles together, it was pretty cute.

Katrina has always liked bicycles, and she's pretty happy about this one. I sure wish it hadn't turned into a massive tantrum later when I wouldn't let her ride in the driveway, because I needed to work in the kitchen and couldn't keep an eye on her. I swept the backyard walkways for her, but, not good enough.

She didn't take a nap today and spent the better part of the afternoon wearing me down and testing my patience with one picky fit after another, punctuated by several long full-on top-of-the-lungs screeching tantrums. By 4:30 I was counting the minutes until her bedtime.

I took her to Jo-Ann Fabrics to buy some black felt, to black out her windows. Starting this week, I'm full-time Mom on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and it will be a very unpleasant experience if every afternoon goes the way today's did. A room with minimal light is my first defense against a nap-less toddler. A full-time job is my second.

8/30/09

Military Lego

I'm really, really tired of tiny Lego pieces scattered all over the house.

Tonight I got the boys to clean up their room and the family room -- no easy feat -- with the promise of a rare movie. Since it was so hot this afternoon, I was sort of a dud mom (despite our earlier foray to the fountains), and I was so tired of their constant fighting that I thought that a movie might earn me a little peace. But not before some serious cleanup.

Unfortunately, Julian cleaned up Legos in their room, which included disassembling a "bomber plane" that Gabriel was very proud of. I probed Julian to find out if he was just being thorough, but his goofy and even amused reaction told me it was deliberate. Gabriel was really bummed, wailing and carrying on, which is unlike him.

Julian was surprised when I didn't scold him, instead telling him he'd made Gabriel really sad, then told him to go clean up in the family room. Meantime, I consoled Gabriel by helping him rebuild the plane -- not that he needed my help, but time with Mom playing Legos together is highly coveted -- and infrequent -- time (~guilt~). I was the piece-finder; he'd tell me what size and color he needed and I'd find it in the mishmash of hundreds of mostly different pieces. It took him less than 10 minutes to remake it exactly.


Thank goodness Julian didn't disassemble Gabriel's Lego aircraft carrier. It's hard to tell in the photo, but it's actually a decent copy, with an island, a catapult for takeoff, and an angled landing strip. I glowed with satisfaction that our trip to a real aircraft carrier -- which they both still talk about every day -- inspired them.


And someone else, too. Katrina has no idea what an aircraft carrier is, but she spent some very concentrated time building one of her own too.


All the books they picked at the library were about military vehicles, and Gabriel's reading log for school contains lots of books like "Air Force Fighters." In one of Gabriel's assignments, where he was supposed to fill in "My question for my teacher is: ," he wrote: "can you tell me about WWII?" He wrote that only because I made him erase what he'd originally wrote, which was "CAN I QUIT NOW?!" and then I said that as an example of something I'd ask....so he wrote it down and I let it go. His teachers are going to think we're warmongers!

Scorcher

Today was HOT!!

Gabriel's class has an upcoming field trip to the library, so I thought we should go to the library, make sure he knows what his library card's PIN is, return some books, and get some new ones too. And, how handy -- the fountains are right there.

With our books safely stowed in the very very hot car, I got everyone dressed, sunscreened, sandaled, and ready to go. The boys jumped right in as usual.



But today they had another player!


Katrina took some time to warm up, but then to my amazement, after some timid approaches to the water when it was low, she suddenly ran right through the fountains, and then played right alongside her brothers. A dangerous venture sometimes; she got knocked hard to the ground once...I actually saw her skull bounce on the concrete. Ouch. But after a few minutes of wailing, she jumped right back in.




She even got them started on her signature fountain move.




The moment was marred by a big fight I had with Gabriel, unfortunately. Recently, I'd seen another mom tell her misbehaving son to sit out for 5 minutes, at a pool, when her son hurt his brother. I was so impressed when he simply did it, grumbling, but cooperative. 5 minutes later, he was back in the pool. No lectures, no threats or warnings, just...cool off.

Well, today Gabriel was pestering Katrina to the point that she was crying, and he just wouldn't quit, so I had to go get him and told him to sit out for 5 minutes.

And does anyone here who knows the first thing about Gabriel think that he grumbled but simply cooperated and was back playing 5 minutes later?

No, it escalated into such a nasty altercation that he never did make it back into the fountains, plus had earned himself an hour in his room (5 minutes at a time) for all his rude insults, threats and actions. Even when I finally got so tired of him standing in front of me, threatening me, calling me names and being incredibly obnoxious that I practically ordered him to go back and play in the fountains, he was too mad, and just couldn't enjoy it. Gee, I can't wait for teenage hormones to kick in.

Later in the afternoon when it had been over for some time, he came into the office where I was sitting, looked at me, put his arms around me and kissed me. I was so glad. I hate those awful fights, but just don't know how to keep them from escalating. Moreso, I don't know how to guide or help him out of such intensity that he ends up missing out on a lot. This might be one of those things I just have to let go and let him learn himself; it's a hard-won skill that many grownups aren't so good at either.

Overall, it was a great way to spend a hot mid-day.

Swim class progress

This morning at swim lessons, I watched Julian's class with increasing irritation. Since Julian's "promotion," he's supposed to be in a more advanced class. But for him today, his lesson entailed his going out with the instructor a total of 4 times, and really not doing much each time. His classmates included a new girl who cried through the whole lesson, and another girl who needed a lot of help, and they were both much younger. The teacher knew Julian was more advanced, but the class was still structured for little kids who are just getting started. This was ridiculous.

So I did what I should have done months ago: complain. OK, ask, but the supervisor recognized it as a complaint. She looked through the list, and indeed, the other kids in Julian's class are "rainbow" level -- well below his "blue" level, and much younger. So, she rearranged things to put Julian into a different class altogether, of kids above his level, and in the deeper pool. FINALLY. OK, I'll give it a little longer.

"By the way," she added, "your other son earned his Purple today."


In contrast to Julian's class, Gabriel has been making noticeable progress every week. And sure enough, Gabriel's gone up a level in a very short time. He said later that the swim test was much easier than the lessons.

Gabriel's Purple level lets him try out for pre-competitive classes, which are completely different: coached, drills, full-length pool (well, 25 yards). I think this would be great, but we won't go there yet; first we'll see how both boys do in their new classes. I'm looking forward to a real class for Julian.

And, when Katrina turns 3 in a few weeks, maybe I'll look into "novice" classes for her, if they have any at my new favorite time: 8am Saturday morning. I don't love this swim school, but the convenience is unbeatable. And who knows, it's possible they'll even pick up some swimming along the way.

8/28/09 Sharing

Katrina didn't "earn" herself dessert tonight, but she did score some jelly beans (for going stinkie in the potty, something she's done every time for a week now!). So that solved the dessert dilemma.

Gabriel wanted a jelly bean too, but they're for potty rewards. I told him to negotiate with Katrina, and he did. She gave him a jelly bean....


....in exchange for a bite of chocolate ice cream.


Meantime, Julian waited for our neighbor to emerge, to give her some cookies. I guess she gave him some candy, and he wanted to reciprocate. He waited patiently outside, and I suspect he ran out of cookies while our kind neighbor was busy inside.


Today was the first set of "Friday Folders" from school. I'm highly amused...or is it bemused?...by Julian's teacher's comment: "Julian takes a long time to finish his work. He needs to be reminded to stay on task." You have no idea, lady. Just wait.

I was floored to see a worksheet that shows a blank face, and the pupil is supposed to draw an expression on it, then fill in the word, "I feel _____." Julian drew a face that's crying, and wrote "tirt" (tired). But the really surprising thing was a Challenge section that said, "Can you write another sentence?" Sentence-writing, already? This is the first week of kindergarten!

Well, whatever, there's no penalty for not being able to write sentences in kindergarten. I guess this is better than being in an inner-city school district where teachers are dealing with unfortunate under-prepared kids with social issues and home troubles. But once again, I find myself yearning for balance.

8/28/09

8/27/09 The drop-off

I'd like to get to the point at which I can drop the boys off near school and simply say, "hop to! go to your class!" Gabriel's reliable that way, but Julian? And if I ask Gabriel to take Julian to his class and wait there until the first warning bell? Sounds OK in theory.....

I took the day off today for more appointments, then remembered that now I don't have CDC care Tuesdays and Thursdays, according to my new schedule. So, I figured this would be a good dress rehearsal for the boys getting to their classrooms themselves. I told Gabriel to take Julian to his class, and followed behind them.

It became immediately apparent that this won't work for a while yet. They putzed around, got distracted, and couldn't even walk a few yards without pushing each other and messing around. They're also very poor at negotiating crowds. Then in front of the classroom, they started running around in circles, dropping their knapsacks and kicking them across the playground. I sent Gabriel to his classroom, disgusted, and then enjoyed the relative peace while Julian played calmly. Meantime, Katrina joyfully pointed out every shape and number when she wasn't running laps around a circle. I regretted not having my camera.

I liked waiting in front of Julian's classroom. I was intrigued by the moms obviously dressed up for work...no CDC care? No zooming to get to work by 8am to cram in enough working hours? How does that work? Maybe this is what it's like to have a "real" job. It all looked so relaxed...is there balance after all? I know, things are not what they seem, but the appearance was encouraging. And I liked being there, being in touch with the classroom, seeing the other moms, and a dad or two, and the other siblings. Seems a lot of them know Julian already!

When the bell rang, the other moms shoo'd their kids into the classroom and put their knapsacks in their cubbies. I decided to hang back and watch, using Katrina as my excuse not to intervene. Julian went right from the top of the play structure inside to his classroom, leaving his backpack outside. I waited, then saw him retrieve it, then negotiate the contents of his cubby.

OK, they're not ready to be dropped off, but it's very early yet, and they're well on their way. And I'm going to like being there twice a week.

8/27/09

8/26/09 Potty-trained?

Back-to-school night is next week, and creates a real dilemma for us. In past years, we always got some sort of childcare so that Dave and I could both attend the 45-minute talk by Gabriel's teacher in his classroom, in the evening. This year, Gabriel and Julian's back-to-school sessions are at the same exact time. I hate to miss one, but we'll have to split up so that one of us attends each classroom. But even with only one parent attending the classroom, we still have a childcare problem.

The answer presented itself today. The CDC, bless their entrepreneuristic souls, is putting on a back-to-school parent's night: childcare for two hours, including dinner. And, potty-trained siblings are welcome! I read the notice in passing, assuming it wouldn't apply to us, until I realize in joyous disbelief -- hey, that's us! OK, 80% potty-trained, but, close enough! But, they said as long as there are no diapers involved, bring her. Yay! I hope they don't regret it when they discover what a serious annoyance the boys can be with her.

(Their pricing goes up to 2 children -- apparently we're in the minority, as they didn't even have a provision for 3!)

Katrina's preschool also offers a discount for potty-trained kids. 80% is close enough, so in addition to not buying diapers, we'd save up to $100 a month in preschool charges, $30 with the part-time schedule she's starting next week.

I watched Katrina today at TLC taking care of business by herself. She's slow; she insists on carrying a particular footstool to a particular toilet, and she has to be shooed away from the sink where she'll play in the water indefinitely washing her hands afterward, but, she goes through the whole process entirely on her own. Actually, she hasn't had a pee accident in a few weeks, and she's getting better and better about finding the john for #2. I upped the ante from chocolate raisins to jelly beans, I think that will improve her success rate.

She's still not 100% done, but even if she night-trained tomorrow and never had an accident again, I'd still say she was the toughest of all of them to potty-train, mostly due to a resistant and insistent personality. (Julian was by far the easiest.) But in this day and age, getting all of them mostly done before age 3 is a decent accomplishment. And it's paying off!

8/26/09

8/25/09 School Day

I took advantage of Katrina's last week of childcare on Tuesdays and Thursdays to catch up on doctor's appointments and other things around the house. I also snuck in a nap and a run, but not before dropping the boys off at school.


I like having some contact with their classes by watching interactions with the kids waiting, chatting with the moms, and seeing how they behave in class. Julian has already made several friends, enough so that another mom smiled at me before class and said, "oh, you're Julian's mom?" Julian can't remember any of his new friends' names though, understandable since they're all fancy Indian names that take me some time too. (Thank goodness for Gabriel's pal Parth!)


I got a sneak peek at Gabriel's class too. One of his teachers was raised on an apple farm, so they're doing a lot about apples this week. For once, I don't mind at all the parent-participation homework of having to find labels around the kitchen with apples.


Then I had to return to Katrina's class because I'd forgotten her lunch again. Naturally, see what I found her doing!


I chatted briefly with Julian's old preschool teacher, Miss Amanda, and told her that Julian claims kindergarten is SOOOO easy, and that the work she had him doing in preschool was much harder. I'd had a feeling she had been a pretty rigorous teacher; much of his little science learnings came from her, and she had noticed and asked me about his reading on his first day. She laughed and said, "Well, his pre-K class was so advanced, the kindergarten material was too easy for them, so I had them doing first-grade work."

OH!!

Now I have a little more context for why Miss Amanda had commented that she thought Julian could skip a grade, which I completely disagree with, especially since kindergarten isn't about academics. I'm very reluctant for any grade-skipping, but at age 5 it's ridiculous to even mention.

Of course, Julian doesn't mind that kindergarten is "easy," he said today it's fun, and he's making friends (something Gabriel never mentioned) and that he really likes his teacher. And that's what matters in the first week of your school career!

I caught up on doctor's appointments today, including something I've put off way too long, something all women of my vintage should do yearly, especially if their grandmother died of breast cancer and their aunt survived it. I recently received admonishment for having put it off, and one of my regular readers present at said admonishment should consider it reiterated if she too has not scheduled The Squish. You know who you are, blondie.

8/25/09

Slides

Katrina sure had fun with slides this weekend!

First, this tiny little one at a Round Table Pizza at a birthday party. She and Dylan played together for at last half an hour on this. Hard to get good photos, but it was very cute.


Next day, a park playdate. Katrina insisted on playing at the bottom of this bigger-kids' slide, where bigger kids come flying down and could obliterate her. She was adament on this slide (out of at least 6 at this park), and another mom made me feel better when she said, "You know, there's just so much you can do." Katrina's just going to have to get clocked a few times. Mostly she screamed at other kids, especially her brothers.


Finally she followed Dylan to a different slide, where she played for a long, long time. At one point, two other boys, about 4 I guess, tried to play on it too, but she scolded them and demanded, "Me go up! Me go up!" I wish I'd gotten a picture, it was pretty funny. The boys took it in stride, smiling to me as I shrugged. I know playground politics say I'm supposed to admonish her to "share," but it's futile.


Julian and Andrew had fun too, though it quickly gets physical and there's always lots of shoving.


I love shots of kids in a grassy field, with that as the only background. Katrina was in the mood to run across the grass, providing me with a perfect photo-op, I thought. But all I got were the goofiest photos and faces -- which I guess was a good photo-op!


(Note to self: green dress against green grass, NG. Next time, get the blue.)

I spent a lot of time with Katrina this weekend, it was nice. I wonder if I'll miss her toddlerhood someday, and regret my impatient attitude toward it. While I'm better-suited to older kids, this is the last year I'll ever experience this magical age first-hand, one in which it's pure delight to go down slides for half an hour.