2/20/2010 Yardwork

Today we cleaned up our yards, moving hoses and toys and such, getting ready for demolition to start next week.

I can't believe this is happening. After 10 years of a bare-bones useless huge yards, where an annual war against Mother Nature was waged every spring, they're going to be peaceful and pretty. I'm panicking about the cost, but when the cost is amortized across over a decade of near-neglect, it's pretty low.

After cleanup today, the boys played catch for a while until I confiscated their baseballs for (surprise) not listening -- they can only throw underhand and only out front where there are fewer windows to break, rules themselves quickly broken.

So they latched onto Katrina playing in the West yard, with her little purple ball. They all had a good time together for a while, both boys trying to "teach" her to catch, when mostly she wanted to run and goof around.






Since landscaping work is supposed to start next week, I took as many "Before" pictures as I could think of today. Good day for it, overcast and cloudy, great light.

Today (before):


Artistic conception of 10-12 weeks from now (after, sort of):


Before:


After:


I realize that trees won't always be flowering, and there will always be neighbors' houses in the background, and that an artist's concept drawing always makes things look way better than they will in real life. I know my sights are set too high and that I'm bound for some disappointment. I know I'm going to have many anxious moments about the cost, much stress about the implementation, panic moments about forgotten elements, and the usual buyer's remorse and wondering if you did the right thing. I know I must reconnect with reality.

But do I have to right away? For now, I am really really really happy about the idea of feeling pride instead of cringing every time I round the corner and see our house.

2/20/2010

2/19/2010 3's the charm

3 weeks done! I figured it would take 3 weeks to adjust to my new employment status. And many routines are in place, but we got a pass on this 3rd week, since the kids didn't have school.

I'm finding one of the biggest downsides to working is my greatly diminished enthusiasm to leave home. It used to be I needed to get away, now I need to be home. I just remembered, for instance, that I reserved a camping trip for Memorial Day weekend -- I'm only glad about that now, instead of jumping-for-joy ecstatic. Which I will be when the time comes, but any additional logistics feels crushing right now.

I signed a contract with the landscaper today though...!! Demolition starts next week. It will take at least 10 weeks (probably more, these things always do), but I'm very very excited about the idea of finally not having a major project glaring at me every time I pull into the driveway, for the first time in over 10 years. And unlike the interior of a house, the landscape can get better as it matures. I also worked out a space designated for a playset with the landscape designer today too. I can't believe how much I'm looking forward to that!

And now, I need to put PJs on, get a glass of port, and watch the Winter Olympics commercials with the kids for a while. 3's the charm, after all.


Katrina likes watching the "skeeting."

2/19/2010

2/18/2010 Watching TV

The kids have been allowed to watch some Winter Olympics, if they're completely ready for bed first. It helps that there's no school this week -- it takes so much pressure off.

The one thing I can't stand, and this time for new reasons, is the commercials. They take up so much time, and many of them are borderline inappropriate. I'm as big a Beyonce fan as the next tween, but it makes me uncomfortable seeing her act sexy (and few can do that as well as Beyonce) in front of my boys -- and my very impressionable little girl. It makes me cringe -- perhaps moreso because of what a prude I've become over the actual effect on my overall clueless children.

Some commercials aren't so bad though; there are a few tear-jerkers, like the one of Dan Janssen skating a victory lap holding his daughter Jane, named after his sister who died of cancer right as he was competing in speed skating in the last Olympics, and lost then. And the McD's commercial of the two parents racing to get their son french fries first is funny too. After a stellar effort, the Dad wins, but the kid says, "Thanks Mom!"

Complaining about commercials is as deeply instilled in the Olympics-watching tradition as the 5 rings, of course. The quality and quantity of commercials take on a new level of irritation -- and, to some extent, amusement -- when there are kids involved.

Katrina doesn't like watching hockey anymore, but when she does, she favors the team with red uniforms (China). They all love watching the half-pipe snowboarding, but have to be persuaded that long-haired competitors really are guys. I mused at Katrina claiming she didn't like cutie-pie 23-year-old redhead gold medalist Shaun White....she will!

Of course, my mind is on much more grownup things than racy dance outfits on pop stars and tousled snowboard dudes. I'm preoccupied with interior and exterior decoration, primarily our future landscaping. An artistic rendering of our future front yard:

Grown-up yes, but the kids aren't forgotten: I'm looking into some sort of play structure, and have it on good authority from friends who have such things that kids get good use out of them. None of these friends have two boys close in age who tend to turn any object, fixed or mobile, soft or hard, heavy or light, long or short, into weapons however, and can't offer direct experience on the potential weapon value of swings. I have to think about that one.

And now, it's time for the men's figure skating. I can't miss that, though the commercials gave me plenty of time to update my blog.

2/18/2010

2/17/2010 Rainbow Girl

It's time to sell Dave's motorcycle trailer. Would you buy this?

It looks so cozy there, nestled among the weeds. Almost hidden, in fact. In a few months, that lush green and pretty yellow will turn to the harsh sharp brown that is most seasons in California.

(But not in this yard. Not this year. Another round of questions for the landscape designer (such as, we weren't planning on irrigating the yard where that trailer is), and we're closing in on a deal.)

Speaking of contrasting colors, today when I picked Katrina up from preschool her teacher asked, "Did she dress herself today?" Yup, like always -- and who are we to argue with an orange-striped shirt (Halloween) with white-and-red striped pants (Christmas). Add in the pretty rainbow silver-sequin-edged tutu, and we have a perfect color storm.

The blue ponytail holder and the clunky white sneakers really makes it. She's almost up to a par with my fashion (non)sense!

2/17/2010

2/16/2010 Winter Olympics

I can't believe how much easier our days are when there's no school. Even though Dave and I are both working, and I haven't adjusted to full-time work yet, the lack of lunch-making, homework, and keeping track of a zillion things to sign, send in, and prepare for is a tremendous relief. (The boys are going to the CDC for spring recess "camp," and Katrina goes to TLC Preschool as normal.)

We even had time to watch some TV tonight. The boys asked about watching Winter Olympics, and I said OK, but they had to be completely ready for bed -- bath, brushed teeth, PJs. Julian wasted no time and started his own bath before 7:00 to meet this goal.

He wasn't all business though, there was time for silly bath games.


Julian was first, but all 3 got to watch some hockey (women's, China v. Finland) and men's singles figure skating. Katrina rooted for the red team (China). To my surprise, Gabriel preferred the individual figure skating over hockey. I silently enjoyed the stereotype-contradiction and acted like this is normal life: the men were dancing to music in glitzy costumes, while the women were knocking each other over.

The kids still had to get to bed on time, sort of -- a little later than on a school night, but not too much later since ironically, when there's no school, Dave and I can get to work earlier the next day. But it's nice to have a little leeway, and it was really fun watching hockey and figure skating with them. A nice treat!

In truth, my moment-to-moment life these days consists of my overwhelming, all-consuming, total, mind-boggling joy at the possibility of turning our property from the neighborhood pockmark into a little park. I am thrilled beyond expression at the idea of having our jungle disaster landscaped into a neat little slice of heaven. It's all I can think about, when my descendants allow.


(White blob on left is the garage, white blob at middle top is the house; surrounding green is planned, managed, thought-out plants instead of out-of-control weeds like now.)

I'm in daily contact with the landscape designer asking questions and making adjustments, and we will likely go forward and sign a contract this week. I can barely contain myself, it changes my entire view of living here. No projects are entirely hassle-free, but this seems so much easier than interior remodeling. And the payoff, both in terms of usability and home value, is tremendous.

By this summer, the tremendous thorn in my side that is our huge uncontrollable landscape; this source of relentless consternation, disappointment and pressure, could become my favorite part of living here. I can't wait.

2/16/2010

2/15/2010 Baseball day

No one was in the mood -- or sync'd up with meals and energy -- to bother with a real outing today. Instead, we continued with the baseball theme and went back to Big 5 to get bats, then to a nearby park for some more baseball practice -- this time, including batting. All the grownups -- including Dad -- took turns pitching to the boys, and then the boys also acted as catcher and fielders too.





Even I had a chance to play, starting with a little catch with Julian, and then it turned into a pretend "game." I pitched to one of the boys, with the other boy acting as an outfielder and Dad as the catcher. If the batter hit the ball, he'd drop the bat and run the imaginary "bases," while the outfielder was supposed to get the ball, throw it to me or Dad the catcher, and we'd try to get the batter "out." In practice, the outfielders always ran with the ball instead of throwing it, and there were no bases and no teams, so the boys always scored runs, but it was still fun to throw the ball to each other and run after each other and yell to them what to do. (I still can't yell, my voice just breaks -- seems it will take quite some time before my entire vocal range recovers from my bronchitis bout.)

While we played the baseball "game," Mom & Papa Paul were off appeasing Katrina with swings and minding her in a toddler playground.

Gabriel's real mission today was to learn to solder. He got a radio-controlled car kit for his birthday, that involves some serious assembly. Before he and Dave could really put it together, Gabriel had to re-inventory all the parts he'd scattered all over the place. He did so meticulously, earning a trip to Fry's to get a new soldering iron appropriate for electronics. He tolerated the detour to the park to play baseball, but was anxious to get home to work on this kit. And it wasn't long before indeed, he was soldering components himself.


My real mission, as always, is THE photo-op. It was getting dark by the time I was able to assemble everyone, so unfortunately the best faces happened to be a flash shot and the best-lit photo happened not to have some non-smiling faces, but, at least I got it. We've had enough visits over the years that my photo books and scrapbook pages are becoming necessities to keep track of who was where when!



Bonne Maman and Papa Paul are leaving tomorrow to take their Californian vacation up north, with a rented BMW convertible (Mom's dream for her 70th birthday), and a few days at a B&B in Napa. I'll be sad to see them go, but I can't deny them paradise!

2/15/2010

2/14/2010 Mom's Birthday

Been awfully busy! With Mom & Paul here, there's a whole lot of doing...well, not that much actually. But hanging around, cooking, and playing can be very time-consuming anyway. And lots of fun.

Yesterday, believe it or not, our big outing was all (minus Dave, who was at home in bed with a fever) to a Subaru dealer to check out the new Outback. Mom & Paul are considering one, and I'd like a fallback plan for when that tree falls on my car. The kids approved.

(Try as I might, I haven't found the right tree in San Jose to fall on my car yet.)

After the car dealer, we went to Big 5 Sporting Goods, and Papa Paul got all 3 kids baseball mitts!


We played a little in our weed-choked front yard. Our poor boys have almost no experience catching or throwing, but Paul gave them a much-needed lesson.


I sort-of played with Katrina, but she mostly had her own ideas about how to throw, mostly behind her. I'm not much better. Still, we both had a great time. I'd much rather play catch with her than go shopping.


Today we did a little surprise party for Bonne Maman. She's here to celebrate her upcoming 70th birthday next month, so of course a cake and presents were in order. No sense waiting, and this way we have the cake for tomorrow too! With Papa Paul's help, we pulled off the surprise.




The kids had posed for some special birthday photos, which made it into a fridge magnet and onto a card they did for her.



The other big event around here was Gabriel losing his first upper tooth (his 3rd overall). This thing has been hanging by a thread for a few days, so we knew it was coming. French toast did the trick.


This afternoon, some more "catch" was called for. Every boy should play ball with their grandmother -- especially this one. You think you know someone...I had no idea my mother was so good at throwing and catching! But, like her youngest grandchild and youngest granddaughter, she too grew up with two older brothers and played ball a lot as a kid. Even at (almost) age 70, it shows.


The mitts are a HUGE hit, the boys have been playing with them a lot.

Ironically, we've rarely made use of our yards like this, and are doing so just as we're closing on on actually landscaping it. Saturday, Dave and I met with a landscape designer who presented us with a complete plan for the entire property that is fabulous. I am beside myself. We might actually go from being the neighborhood eyesore to being the neighborhood gem. We could potentially get it done by this summer, and then the whole place will go from being a decade-long thorn in my side to a little slice of paradise. As for the baseballs...well, with all this practice, soon they'll outgrow our space and have to move to a real park anyway.

Everybody's off work/school/childcare tomorrow except me, but I'm taking the day anyway -- any time with grandparents here is too precious to spend at work!

And now I must go sprinkle some fairy dust and drop some cash on our whistling, lisping firstborn.

2/14/2010

2/12/2010 Valentine's parties

I was already feeling a little put out about Valentine's Day for the kids. All three of them had parties at school, which mean getting Valentine's (or Valentine's-makings), and getting them to make them. In our house, "making" Valentine's means writing From and To on a store-bought chintzy little fold-over thing with some stickers inside it, closing it, and tucking an extra sticker inside.

For Katrina, it's even simpler -- according to her, girls can't draw Ks, so she wouldn't even write K on the "From" part of her valentine's. And for (private) preschool, they're not supposed to address the "To:", nor bring food. I did her Valentine's, and this was pretty fast and easy.

But for regular (public) school, Valentine's is a big deal. Teachers send home a list of all names in the class, since if a child wants to pass out valentines, it must be to the whole class. Parents are reminded that the child has to bring in their class valentines. Kids make valentines for the parents in school. On the big day, the class has a party.

That's already out of control. Getting the valentines -- never mind making them -- is an errand that eats up precious time for working parents. Getting the boys to do them was another big pain. Julian didn't mind it, but he still needed supervision and help. Gabriel refused altogether at first, but pulled off a quick effort last night.

But tonight, I couldn't believe how much candy and junk food the boys both came home with from the party and valentine's exchange. It was stunning. A valentine isn't just a card now -- it's a bag filled with popcorn, cookies and candy; it's a box of chocolate basketballs, a box of candy hearts, a brownie, Kit-Kats, chocolate hearts and lollipops. I'm sure Gabriel and Julian's crummy little sticker went over well.

I hate to sound like a love scrooge, but the effort of getting valentine's and getting the boys to do them was already enough of a pain. But when they come home with heaps of candy and crap, it almost teeters on being a problem.

I'd like Valentine's Day to go back to being a personal thing, in which you make and give someone a Valentine because you really want to tell them something -- not a serious sugar haul that's built into the school curriculum. But what kind of curmudgeon dares suggest to an elementary school that they stop celebrating a day that's supposed to celebrate love?

2/12/2010

2/11/2010 The menu

Kinda late to blog tonight....I spent most of the evening poring over cookbooks, reading recipes, checking ingredients, making shopping lists, and baking some yummy scones. Pretty out of control! Just because Mom & Paul will be here for 4 days, does that mean I have to start a restaurant?! I guess so! I remind myself of beginning swimmers: they put in far, far more effort than necessary.

Ironically, despite all this culinary indulgence, it was pizza for dinner tonight.

2/11/2010

2/10/2010 Lessons for Bad People

Gabriel is on a tear lately, being exceptionally rude, defiant, and insolent when something doesn't go his way. Dave and I come down fast and hard on him, but he always stands his ground and continues retorting, escalating situations that start as a minor conflict into all-out war.

It's hard to describe exactly what he says that's so obnoxious -- but yesterday, he put a small sample in writing. I forget what prompted him to write this -- something about having to finish homework before he could play I think -- but just about every sentence is one we hear frequently, and often just after some or other consequence has been doled out (loss of allowance, dessert or whatever). Kids are supposed to stop when a consequence is given, but as usual, Gabriel doesn't follow the kid-manual, and instead it only spurs him on.

Surprisingly, he includes Julian in his demands, hence the "us":

Lessons for Bad People

1. Treat others the way you want to be treated. (something he spits out often when I sternly tell him he may not be rude to me. Pointing out the way he's now treating me only results in a loud, angry repetition.)

2. If you take away a toy from us, you will get something taken away, too. (another common response to a warning about getting something taken away)

3. Listen to us!

4. If you take away a toy from us and you tell us when we can get it back, you must give us the toy(s) back when you said, no matter what we do afterward.

5. Shut Up!!!!! ** (unfortunately, also not uncommon, but anything this flat-out rude results in an instant pants-down smack, which *still* doesn't end the conflict)

READ BEFORE COMPUTER TIME (guess he lost computer time or something)

Name David Doudna

Ah, my dear firstborn son. I do love him so. He has such a strong, unshakable personality. I can never help but to admire his toughness, even when I'm furious with him. But lately, he's really been a pain in the ass.

2/10/2010

2/9/2010 PTO

Nowadays many companies mix "sick time" and "vacation time," and mine is just like this. It all gets lumped up into "PTO" (personal time off) time -- great if you're healthy and would rather spend sick time vacationing, but lousy if you (or your family) gets sick a lot. On the whole, we're on the healthy side, so at first glance, it's a win.

Another new phenomenon is the concept of "forced PTO." Companies shut down and force you to take the shutdown time as PTO. Around Christmastime, that doesn't matter that much for many people, though as a single person I hated it. I liked working around Christmastime and using my vacation time when I wanted to (like when it was warmer and airports were less crowded).

But now, companies, including mine, have two forced shutdowns a year. This means 10 days of your vacation or sick time, you must take around Christmastime, and now, July 4th also. When you're a new employee, that means that half your vacation/sick/PTO/whatever schedule is decided for you.

As it happens, I'll likely be taking time off around Christmas and July 4th anyway. But what if I wanted to take it another time? What if something were going on with the rest of the family that made that time not ideal? I hate that. It sounds very "entitled" -- after all, I have a relatively cushy job as an engineer, with a lot of autonomy and physical comfort. Still, it's hard not to lament the old days when companies fell all over you to keep you happy. Two forced shutdowns a year never happened during the dot-com boom.

Katrina had a horrible coughing fit last night, and then a slight temperature this afternoon at preschool, causing them to call Dave out of work (they don't have my work number yet). She can't go to school tomorrow, but I have my first important conference call, and I have a lot of PTO planned for grandparents visit this weekend, then a ski/snow trip in March. And, apparently, very little PTO that I can decide for myself when to use. If I have to stay home with a sick child, that's a precious PTO day. Dave's company is far more generous -- only one shutdown a year, and separate vacation/sick time. Still, he's still the primary family breadwinner, and he can't absorb all the time off for sick children. It will be a careful calculus every time anyone has so much as a sniffle around here.

Fortunately, despite a slightly runny nose, Katrina was running around happily and normally tonight. I was very relieved. Working-mom guilt kicks in hard when your toddler is sick and you can't go home...well you can but there's no need because Dad's there....you still miss her. As I drove (straight!) home after work, I looked forward to getting home and finding everyone there, as Dave had picked up the boys. That's SO much nicer than picking everyone up and walking in the door with them!

So I'm going to work tomorrow, and Dave will stay home with Katrina, except for the doctor's trip that is. Minor temperature and runny nose aren't enough for that, but the accompanying hives bug me. I'll be anxious to get back home to her tomorrow.

2/9/2010

2/8/2010 Stuck in a tree

I might have made a mistake by telling Katrina a story about Cousin Remi. But all the kids love hearing stories about their cousins, and Remi is full of funny ones.

Last summer, my mother reported, my niece Remi, who is naturally athletic and a confident climber, climbed high up into a tree at my Mom & Paul's country house in Pennsylvania. Too high -- she couldn't get back down. Her brother Aidan tried to get to her, but couldn't. I think my sister did too, but couldn't (I forget). Finally, Papa Paul came to the rescue, and climbed up high enough to help Remi down.

Somehow, I related the story about Remi climbing up the tree to Katrina. I don't remember why, but it was just relevant enough at the time, and I thought she'd find it amusing. I told it to her as little more than a passing comment, as we were shopping at Trader Joe's yesterday. Katrina was riveted and pounded me with questions as I pondered rising beef prices.

"Did Cousin Remi get into a tree...and get STUCKED?!"
"Cousin Remi climbed a tree?"
"Did she get STUCKED?!"
"Cousin Remi climbed the tree and couldn't get back DOWNED?!"
"Did Cousin Remi cry?"
"Was Cousin Remi scared when she got STUCKED?!"
"Did Remi climb way way way up HIGH and couldn't get DOWNED?!"
"Cousin Remi cried when she was STUCKED way up high?"
"Did Remi get scared when she was STUCKED?!"
"Did Cousin Remi climb way way up HIGH?"
"Cousin Remi was scared when she couldn't get back DOWNED?"
"Cousin Remi was STUCKED in the TREE?!"

My initial storytelling about two other people trying to rescue Remi only fueled the fire.

"Cousin Aidan couldn't climb up to Remi?"
"Cousin Remi was STUCKED up too high?"
"Did Cousin Remi cry for Cousin Aidan?"
"Was Cousin Aidan scared when he went to get Remi?"
"Cousin Aidan couldn't climb up HIGH NUFF?!"
"Cousin Remi was too high?"
"Cousin Remi was STUCKED way up too high where Aidan couldn't go?"
"I love Cousin Aidan so much Mommy"
"Cousin Aidan tried to get Cousin Remi?"
"Cousin Remi was too stucked up too high?"

I assured her that Papa Paul saved Remi and that everyone was fine.

"Papa Paul climbed way up high and got Cousin Remi?"
"Papa Paul SAVED Remi?"
....etc

In fact, I told her, trying to make light of it, it was so silly that later, Mom & Papa Paul's 6-month-old kitten got stuck in the same tree, and Papa Paul had to climb up again to rescue the kitty!! Papa Paul had to climb up twice!

Uh-oh. Big mistake.

"Did the kitty get up in the tree and get STUCKED?!"
"Did Papa Paul climb way up high to get the kitty?"
"Did the kitty cry and cry?"
"Was the kitty scared when...."

I'll spare you gentle readers from the remaining half-hour of the exact same conversation.

This morning, as I was dropping Katrina off at preschool, the episode was still on her mind. "Mommy...I'm not going to get stucked in a tree. I'm not a very good climber."

2/8/2010

2/7/2010 The Work Sunday

Between needing to tidy up a tornado-ridden house for the cleaners coming tomorrow, and not being very productive yesterday, this Sunday was decidedly a day of work.

When we remodeled, we put in washer & dryer hookups downstairs, for a "supplemental" stack washer/dryer. Once we moved in, that seemed excessive and we were burnt out on little luxuries (even though the expense was in the infrastructure -- the appliance itself won't cost that much). So we haven't installed one -- but now that all laundry is relegated to weekends, I'm wishing we did have an extra one. Our upstairs laundry was running almost constantly trying to catch up this weekend!

Speaking of laundry, Dave discovered during my trip to NYC that laundry is a great "gateway" chore for kids. He wasn't sure whose pants were whose, so he got the boys to pick out their own pants, fold them, and put them away. Brilliant! Turns out, it's pretty easy for kids to pick out their own clothes from a heap of clean laundry, fold them (crudely), and put them away.

So today I put two baskets of clean clothes in the boys' room and said "have at it, guys!" The enticement of computer time helped, but it got done -- pants, shirts, underpants, socks. Shirts are confusing because of hand-me-downs, and the clothes in their closet end up more heaps than stacks, but, whatever. It bugs me how easy our kids have it with doing almost no household chores, and now that Gabriel's 8, that's getting serious. So getting them to put away their own clothes is a great step. Even Katrina likes folding laundry! (though she's too young to expect to plow through a whole basket.)

I did get to spend some actual time with everyone today, even if much of it was getting them to take care of other life-related duties: valentine's for (three!) upcoming parties, thank-you notes, birthday cards. I was struck again at the difference between my two sons: Julian had a huge heap of Valentine's to do, over 30 (they have to do it for the whole class if at all), and Gabriel just had 6 thank-you notes to write. Julian plunged in, and pretty much plugged at it without stopping until he was done. Gabriel played around, hummed, tapped his pencil on the table, stared at the ceiling, procrastinated and had to be reminded and nudged numerous times. Gabriel has unmatchable powers of focus and concentration when he chooses to unleash them, but he does so only on certain things, and birthday thank-yous aren't on the short list. Julian, overall the putzier of the two boys for most things, is a dream to work with on projects.

I took Julian and Katrina to the Y this morning while I attended a packed Zumba class, and returned to find Dave mowing our weeds and Gabriel playing with his new Nerf gun (bought with birthday money). A photo-op, finally!


(A future serial killer in the making?)



(The absence of a closeup of Julian isn't because of middle-child syndrome, it's because he runs away when I try, just to annoy me.)



And back at it for week#2 tomorrow.

2/7/2010

2/6/2010 A real Saturday

One thing about my new work schedule: it sure makes Saturday an important day. It was before too, but now Saturdays aren't just for fun. It's when I should catch up on errands and things the house and kids need, laundry, grocery-shopping, cleaning up....if I could that is. This weekend, a lot of that will have to spill over into Sunday too.

Last night (Friday night) the kids were on a sleepover, and Dave and I had a nice grownup dinner -- with wine, dessert, and complete sentences -- a good way to top off a decidedly grownup week. But though my bronchitis bout is nearly over, I was awakened numerous times last night with horrendous coughing fits, forcing me to swig some Tussionex around 5:30am. (That's my super-duper-uber prescription cough medicine.) It knocked the cough flat, but knocked me out too. So much for the rest of the day, despite all its new demands.

At least I got something accomplished today: I took Julian to Target so he could pick out new underpants. That had to do for bonding motherhood moments today too.

2/6/2010

2/4/2010 Schizo daze

Another torn day. Work itself is interesting and challenging, if in a tense and grim environment. Home is .... well, home, it's like Oz compared to Kansas, filled with life and noise and clamor and energy and trouble. But the most time I get with the kids is the worst time of the day -- right after we all get home and I'm at my busiest. And that's with leaving work at 4:30!

I know I'll adjust...the 3-week rule is always in effect. Give any change a 3-week cycle to get used to, and let the big problems reveal themselves, and tackle those. Today, though each component by itself is good, the combination of everything is overwhelming to a crush point. It seems like all it will take is a dentist's appointment to throw everything off.

And no photos of the kids. That by itself will make this blog worth dropping. If only I could!

2/4/2010

2/3/2010 Peace, not love

Gabriel asked today, "Why is Valentine's Day such a big deal?" I explained that it's about love. He answered quickly, "I think it should be about peace, not love."

Then he added that Valentine's Day was more for girls than boys, because they were more into the love stuff. "Oh really?" I asked, thinking back to his father's courtship. "Yeah, they're always writing hearts and stuff." Then he added with dismay, "Katrina's going to do that someday too." "Well," I consoled, "maybe she'll be writing hearts to you." That brightened him up: "I guess that's OK then."

2/3/2010

2/2/2010 Adjusting

I'm exhausted. The cough medicine I have to take at night keeps me awake, so I wake up dragging and in need of many more hours of sleep. I absolutely hate going to work like that. If I'm exhausted because of medicine, then I need sick time -- but on my second day of work?

Work itself is mostly interesting so far, though it'd be a lot easier to do if I weren't so completely wrung out first thing in the morning. Then there's the guilt and fear about missing the children. My memory of time with them at home seems like a glorious, joyful one, even though I know in real life I often longed for adult company and a good challenging project to sink my teeth into. Ironically, even though Katrina's the one who misses me the least, and her stage of life is the one I miss the least, she's the one I keep thinking of and missing. She's the one I now spend the least time with, because our mad scramble when I get home with everyone doesn't include any time with her at all.

I know from experience that it takes a few weeks to settle into a new routine. Then the glaring thorns and their solutions emerge; the biggest problems will be clear and we'll start tweaking how we work things.

One thing that's not changing: I must leave work at 4:30 -- even ten minutes late is a big penalty in traffic -- and the kids must start the bedtime process at 7:30. The rest of the day can be worked around that.

2/2/2010

2/1/2010 First day of work

Back to work! Actually, the day was rather anticlimactic, since I already know everyone. Mostly, I spent the day cleaning out my cubicle and setting up my laptop.

Workplaces have become very very paranoid about sickness -- there are hand-sanitizing stations all over the place, and people acted awkward about handshakes -- so my persistent cough seems very antisocial. But this cough will last for weeks, I can't stay home that long. It's not like I have a cold. The paranoia about disturbing people, and the difficulty in talking more than a few sentences without my voice cutting out and bursting into a fresh fit of coughs, complicated the day.

Fortunately we've become well-practiced at our routine, so getting dinner on the table close to on time (6:15), and getting kids to bed on time (lights off 8:00 without fail!) went pretty smoothly.

Still, I have no idea how I'm going to keep momentum on any other projects I have going, like landscaping or some photo and framing projects. But if motherhood has taught me anything, it's that you keep learning and getting better at the juggle. I'll dig even deeper and find time for the rest of my life, somehow.

2/1/2010

1/31/2010 Housework Sunday

I said I'd write about Gabriel's party yesterday, though it's so out of my head already it's hard to get back into it. Very low-key, very entertaining for the kids, and with the time and people constraints, made for a very easy party.


They did gymnastics with Coach Gary (many of us knew him when he taught at the Cupertino Parks & Rec) for 45 minutes, then 45 minutes of party time.

The gymnastics was fun -- we had the whole place to ourselves, and the boys got to try some new equipment, including a 40-foot "tumble track" (trampoline. They loved that. First, a walk-through all the equipment, then the tumble track.





After the gymnastics part, Gabriel opened his gifts. He got some truly cool stuff he's looking forward to playing with at home. Meanwhile, the other boys took any object that could possibly be distorted to look like a gun to shoot it at each other (like a birthday hat)

Then, cake time. Or rather, cupcakes diguised to look like a cake. This saves the need for serving and eating utensils, though a spoon or two would have been handy.






A great group, a great size, a nice place -- So far we've scored best on the gymnastics parties!

Today, however, not so much fun. I'm starting my job tomorrow, nerve-wracking enough by itself. I have so so much I want to get done at home, but I'll have to figure out how else to do it.

One good thing came out of my absence last week: Dave had to get the boys to help sort their jeans after they came out of the wash, because he can't tell whose is whose. Then he had the boys fold their jeans and put them again. HMMM!! We're onto something here! Tonight I showed the boys how to sort their jeans (they claimed they didn't know), how to fold so it fits in the closet right, and then we moved on to shirts. There will come a day when they're all doing their OWN laundry!

Helping the boys help me fold laundry was the only good thing I have to say about running 127,000 loads today.

1/31/2010