Tuesday, November 29, 2011

11/29/11 Back on the air

If you insist on running a Microsoft operating system:

Stop using Internet Explorer.
Always run anti-virus software.
Keep it updated.

Lesson learned!!

I have my computer back, de-virused and with numerous free anti-virus software packages installed. My Internet Explorer browser works again (though now I'll try living with Firefox again), and even the screwy time has been reset!

When I described my plight to someone at work, and that my computer was once again in the hands of my anti-virus guy, he said, "You have an 'anti-virus' guy?!" Somehow I attract these things so much that now I have an anti-virus guy. And thank goodness for that.

It'll take a few more days to get everything set up, and suddenly things at work have gotten busy (it's like that -- feast or famine), but I think I'm finally on an uptick -- at least computationally.

11/29/11

Sunday, November 27, 2011

11/27/11 VIRUS!!

AGH! Not again! My new Windows 7 computer caught some horrible virus that means the computer is cranking away with some background process that seems to be sending spam or all our personal information to the mothership. Also, my IE browser doesn't work anymore. I'm typing from my work computer, because my own is off the Internet now so whatever infection it has won't get any farther than it is.

Yesterday I took Gabriel to get him his own ski equipment! Skis (used), boots (new but inexpensive), poles (cheap), helmet (not cheap but it will be handed down to other kids), jacket (see note about the helmet). He's SO psyched.

Katrina spent the afternoon in her room playing with all her snow gear, having a "snow party" in "Colorado" and "Alaska," with snow simulated by a blanket spread on the floor.

Last night we all went out to see the movie "Hugo" -- 3D in the movie theatre. It was pretty good! It's so rare we all do something like that together, it was fun.

Tonight we had such a nice evening with Laura and Ryan, who are passing through on their way back to L.A. after an extended visit to Oregon for Thanksgiving. The boys hit up aunt & uncle for a game of flashlight tag, and aunt & uncle agreed even though they'd been driving all day! They're so awesome, the kids just adore them, and of course so do we.

Tomorrow: back to reality -- school and work -- and for me, a big detour to get my now-familiar de-viruser guy to fix my infected computer again. So I'll be off the air for a while.

11/27/11

Friday, November 25, 2011

11/25/11 Thanksgiving

We had a remarkably successful Thanksgiving dinner, despite the odds -- all child-free friends at our "Orphan's Thanksgiving," and us, with three rambunctious children.

I spent a small fortune at Barnes and Noble in preparation, mostly with payoff.

But when the event is held at the home of the iPad designer, you're bound to have a few iPads floating around. In this case, three -- enough to keep all 3 kids mesmerized all evening (books notwithstanding). And what luck, the iPad designer himself (one of my oldest and best friends) spent quite some time showing Katrina how to play Angry Birds.

This annual "Orphan's" Thanksgiving is a potluck, so I brought numerous items, including a wonderful "Brown Butter Apple Tart." I took this photo just to show my Mom how much I love my new tart dish! Such a simple item, but something you really miss if you don't have one and are inclined to make tarts.

However, to my surprise, the most popular item I brought was an apparently nondescript Parsnips Puree -- also Mom-inspired. I got far more comments on that than anything else I've ever made, this year and others, including from one our longtime friends who's a professional baker and an extraordinary cook. He's from Brazil and somehow didn't know despite many years in the USA that parsnips exist! Luckily I had a sous-chef for this dish: Julian peeled the parsnips and did such a thorough job I had to look them over to make sure I wasn't looking at unpeeled ones! The Leeks Gratin I brought were also a hit.

The day after Thanksgiving, today, we didn't do much -- I've been feeling super-low-energy these past few days for some reason. The most significant thing we did was pull out our snow clothes and try them all on to see who'd outgrown what. Now I know it's time for a hand-me-down rotation -- Gabriel can live with last year's jacket but ideally he gets a new one, Julian gets Gabriel's last-year's jacket, and even Katrina could do OK with Julian's last-year's jacket. I'm never sure about these things -- it can seem so obviously OK in your living room, then so obviously not-OK the second you get on the ski lift and realize "dang those pants are WAY too short!"

Katrina insisted on spending the rest of the day wearing her snow clothes, including a trip to the supermarket in her snow bibs and boots! She spent all afternoon talking through pretend snowball fights, playing with her goggles and mittens and talking nonstop about snow. Gabriel said he wished we lived in Truckee. I half-agree, though reality is that our jobs and lives are here at sea level. I don't want to move to Truckee (?? boy that was a tough sentence to type!!), but the pull to spend significant time at altitude this winter is strong. We're all VERRRY ready for snow!!

11/25/11

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

11/22/11 The Famous Tantrum

Anyone remember this?

3-1/2 yo Katrina's dinnertime tantrum

Probably not; for us this was routine.

But this video caught the attention of an NPR science reporter who's looking at a new study done on toddler-tantrums. I guess he was trolling YouTube for toddler tantrum videos, and this relatively routine fit of Katrina's had particular interest -- I think because Dave is in it, and is so calm. A few days ago, the reporter called us to talk to us about it, and this turned into a phone interview this morning!

When looking for the video to which he was referring, it was striking just how many tantrum videos I'd posted -- and those a tiny fraction of the actual tantrums. Few are of Gabriel, because at the time I was still using a real videocamera and had to edit the videos. By the time Katrina was at it, I was only using my regular still camera, and now YouTube existed, so I'd posted a lot more videos of her. My goodness, it was worse than I even remember.

So I talked to the reporter for about 30 minutes this morning about our experiences with kids and tantrums. Any discussion about tantrums has to start with Gabriel, but the fact that Julian was really not a tantrumer was really important in the discussion. It was surprisingly hard to answer basic questions like, "What started it?" or "What ended it?" It's so funny, and perhaps telling, how hard it is to identify what started these tantrums, even though they were a multi-daily occurrence for many years. How could I not remember?!

The reporter asked a lot about how Dave is reacting so calmly to Katrina in the video, and about how she freaked when he pointed out to her that choosing a particular chair at a round table didn't make a difference. Of course, tantrums are all about being unreasonable, and reason only fuels the fire.

At the end, the reporter played short audio clips from this video, mostly of Katrina SCREAMING, and asked me to react to them. Now it's almost funny listening to her scream "NOOOOO!!!", though it also evokes painful memories of exasperation and just...well, hating life at the moment. I'm SO glad those days are over...well, mostly over.

I don't know how the whole discussion will be edited -- I'm sure if my voice airing our dirty laundry makes it on national radio it will only be for a few seconds. But we'll find out probably on Monday, Dec. 5th, when this report on tantrums should air! It will be either on "Morning Edition" or "All Things Considered" -- both shows I listen to all the time in the car (which means every day, but never in their entirety).

I sure am glad to talk about this in retrospect though....mostly.

11/22/11

p.s. If you want to see a truly funny tantrum video, this is the one: Why throw a tantrum if no one is around to see it?"

Sunday, November 20, 2011

11/20/11 The RC Car

Boy, I'm behind. We've had too many major things happen in the past week to write about it.

Wednesday we had an "SST" meeting with all of Julian's teachers.

Thursday we had an "IEP" meeting to find the results of the extensive assessment the school district did on Gabriel (cognitive, psychological, language; questionnaires from parents and two teachers). This was a huge deal, it turns out! We didn't finish and will have to re-meet, but it looks like he'll qualify for "services" for language (an articulation issue) and "social pragmatics." Overall with language and speech he was outstanding -- the speech pathologist and psychologist both said his manner of speaking like an adult was very unusual for a kid his age -- but his empathy, ability to respond to others' manners, ability to perceive emotion in others, was very low for someone who overall is so capable with language.

Friday Julian was suspended from the CDC. This is huge. He was messing around with another kid, head-locked him, and bashed the kids' head on the floor. If he'd done that at school, he'd have been suspended from school. As it is, the kids are spending 3 days at CDC next week because school is out, so missing a CDC day is a big deal. Tonya will fill the gap for us, thank goodness, but it's really unacceptable for us to have to find other childcare arrangements because of behavior.

Saturday, Julian had his first counseling session, offered through the school district. First we talked with the counselor, with Julian present, then she talked with him alone. He wouldn't tell us what they talked about; mostly he was excited about a G.I. Joe he got to play with at the end. I'm a little concerned about the counseling because the counselor explained to us that she's a "mandated reporter," which means if Julian says things that she has to report, we could be looking at another visit from the county Family services. She also said she'd be talking to us about "parenting skills," and asked if we ever considered timeouts instead of spanking. Good grief, are we back to that?! Still, I hope that Julian feels good about having his own counselor, and I told him she's there just for him to talk to about his feelings.

Saturday was great though, since Uncle Ryan was in town, and we all had such a great time with him. Aunt Laura was at a girls-only thing in Napa, but they're both coming back next weekend, yay!

Today, Sunday, we went out to our annual pancake breakfast at our friends' house before the motorcycle show, which Dave went to afterward. At home, Gabriel spent most of the day trying to fix a remote-control car to bring to CDC tomorrow, because it's "electronics day." I hate these days; kids bring in their video games to play, and they're not allowed to share. So it's really hard on the few kids without video games, and I'd talked to the CDC about this already. To make matters worse, things like remote-controlled cars aren't usually allowed. But Gabriel had talked to the CDC director last week about bringing his RC car, and the director agreed, knowing our situation.

Gabriel played with the car today, but something on it broke. He spent hours working on it, including roping Dad into taking him into the garage to solder a wire. Something mechanical was still wrong with the car, so Gabriel kept at it, then the wire they'd soldered broke again. It became clear it was beyond repair.

Gabriel was so upset -- and this is not a kid who gets upset easily. He just didn't know what to do. He'd alternately wail (since babyhood, he still can't sob) about being "tortured" at Electronics Day, then gather himself and tackle the broken toy again, then give up in frustration and wail again.

It was heartbreaking. I felt so bad for him, and then annoyed again that we're put into this position. He'd been a really good sport about it, he'd planned ahead, then spent so many hours getting his car ready, only to have it break again, so his disappointment was really deep. He was now dreading the next day, when incessant beeps and squeaks of everyone else's video games would just rub it in. I remember what that feels like as a kid, like your whole world is wrapped up in this thing, and then it falls apart.

Even though I knew he'd recover, I wasn't sure I would. So during dinner, I snuck out to Target and got him another RC car -- this time one with a better suspension and meant to climb. It's not an expensive one, and I know it won't last forever, but I sure feel better.

And so did he. It felt good showing it to him and seeing his whole mood turn around. He hugged me several times and thanked me -- I think not just for the car, but for lifting his disappointment. At least that's what I'd like to think.

I'm not quite as worried about Julian on Electronics Day, for a number of reasons. Though he too doesn't like having to watch other kids play with their video games, he didn't have his heart set for days on bringing an alternative. He's also just been suspended, which seriously curtails my sympathy. This is a huge pain in the rear for us, not to mention the extra expense. Katrina hasn't said anything yet; I'm not sure this is as big a deal for the kinders.

It's sure been an emotional past-few days, ending now on an up-note for now.

11/20/11

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

11/16/11 The Meeting

A familiar event for us...a meeting at the school today with all of Julian's former teachers (except kindergarten, since kinder teachers have conferences this week) -- and some of Gabriel's former teachers who were there are part of the "team."

This is an "SST" meeting (I forget what that stands for) in which we review the kids' strengths, weaknesses, areas of need, strategies, etc. This is almost harder with Julian than it was for Gabriel because there really isn't as much to say. Gabriel had such a long storied history of challenges as a toddler and young child; Julian really was about as normal a baby and toddler as they get. I think we were very aligned with his teacher that he's really just ... well, immature. Funny to say about a 7-year-old! They're 7, they're supposed to be immature!! But he's pretty immature and impulsive even for 7 (and pushing 8).

Anyway, we didn't have any great outcomes, though the principal had a good suggestion about giving Julian a big incentive for not getting sent to his office in a week. In general, Dave and I both resist the idea of rewarding a kid for expected behavior, and definitely wouldn't give him video-game time for that or anything (how unfair does that seem to siblings who don't get sent to the office?).

But I think I'm on to something with my "stair time" with Julian, in which I sit next to him alone in a place that has no distractions (the stairs), and just talk to him about how he feels. I have to resist telling him those dumb clueless things grownups always think will help and kids always think are stupid, like "just ignore a kid who's teasing you," and instead just talk to him about how he feels. I've done this a few times now, and he really seems to like it (even if he milks it at the end). So some special time alone with Mom or Dad will be the reward. Not incentive really, because I don't want to take that away if he doesn't meet it, but I think he needs more "stair time."

Then this afternoon I got a call from the school office that Julian was in the office, complaining of feeling "bad" and having a headache. I was skeptical and annoyed, but when I got him home, it turned out he had a temperature. I felt horrible today too, so I volunteered to stay home with him tomorrow. Good timing, because a day alone together will do us both some good.

11/16/11

Monday, November 14, 2011

11/14/2011 The Helper

This thing with Gabriel walking home after school is GREAT, in far more ways than I could have anticipated.

My original motivation was to give him more down/chill-time, and he's completely getting that. But unexpectedly, I think he's overall been acting more responsible too -- he puts his lunch away and washes his hands when he gets home without me having to repeat it 100 times, because I'm not even there! And, he's mostly getting his homework done on his own too, without being bugged (by me) or distracted (by siblings).

The really best thing is that I get so much more time with him now. After the other two have gone upstairs for bath, Gabriel hangs with me while I clean up the kitchen and make lunches. Tonight, he wanted to see if a movie for a book his class is reading ("Island of the Blue Dolphin") was available, so I told him we'd look it up after kitchen chores were done. So he loaded and started the dishwasher, wiped the table, and took out the garbage, while I made lunch and we chatted. Actually it was really Dave whose workload he was reducing, but I totally enjoyed being with him -- something I'd never get in the bad old days of the "you get 15 minutes to eat dinner, then you have to get back to your homework" struggle.

I don't mean it's all perfect, and Gabriel is still unmatched when it comes to digging his heels in (though he has a close rival in his sister, whose latest rude habit is to refuse to listen by putting her fingers in her hears and glaring at you while she wiggles her tongue back and forth taunting "biddle-biddle-biddle!" sounds)....but on the whole, I'm totally reaping the benefits of his extra time. And my initial objective has been met: he's quite a bit calmer, and, well, happier.

And bonus -- we save over $300 a month in childcare, tax-free! It's like someone's paying us for a happier child?!

11/14/2011

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Friday, November 11, 2011

11/11/11 The 8th-grader

Today is such a cool date, what more is there to say?

Since it was Veteran's Day, both the school and CDC were closed, so the kids went to Tonya's so that Dave could go to work, and I could attend the last day of my training session (which regrettably was nowhere near as useful as it could have been, and I left at 3:30).

I got a Facebook message from someone I would never have remembered if he hadn't message'd me -- someone I barely knew in junior high school, but through another mutual junior-high-school friend (who I'm still in touch with), contacted me. It turns out my former 8th-grade classmate lives nearby, though our mutual friend is still in New York.

He mentioned he no longer had a class picture to remind me what he looks like, but I found my old junior-high yearbook and scanned his class photo to send to him. And mine while I was at it. I'm at the far lower right -- always in the corner because of either being a 'B' or the shortest one in class.

The thing I find really striking is that I remember our school being crammed with kids, so crowded between classes that you could barely move down the halls. Yet there were only 24 kids in my 8th-grade homeroom -- during the time that NYC was in such financial straits that it was firing teachers left and right and declaring bankruptcy?? How could that be?

Some of the answer comes from looking farther in the yearbook. I also sort-of remember that the classes were organized by skill level. In 7th grade, the classes were called "7-1, 7-2, 7-3..." etc, but those numbers weren't random. "7-1" was the highest-functioning class, with "7-21" or whatever it was, the least. "7-21" was filled with teenagers, many had been held back, had trouble with the law, dropped out due to pregnancy, most on welfare. "7-1" had all the caucasian kids (all 10-12 of us) and those who were working at grade level. This did not make for a friendly social environment for a short small white kid used to private school, let me tell you.

In 8th grade, it appears they renamed some of the classes to colors. I doubt that being in a "Gold" class did much for my reputation. That was the year that my former best friend tried to start a fight with me with the whole school following us chanting "Fight! Fight! Fight!" as she repeatedly pushed me.

Anyway, I notice that my "Gold" class had 24 kids, but some of the "8-number" classes had as many as 37 kids. And what little racial diversity we few Caucasians brought in was lost there. My memory was of the school being mostly black, with some Puerto-Rican, but photos show that even the black kids were in the minority -- most were Puerto Rican. Even in my "upper" class, there's only one other white kid in it.

It's almost funny that my own children have the same racial-minority experience -- but very very drastic difference culturally!

11/11/11

Thursday, November 10, 2011

11/10/11 The training

I've been in a training class all week, one I refused to miss even though I've been sick. Finally today I was able to attend temperature-free!

Which alerted me to the fact that the time management by the instructor has been pretty poor. He'll start late, then decide to try a new module and leave us for 15 minutes to go print it out. The hands-on labs are OK, but he allots 45 minutes for what should be a 15-minute exercise, then with breaks and questions they'd take over an hour. Today I waited over half an hour during an exercise that involved finding a partner who was ready to test with, then it turned out my partner -- the most capable person in the class -- hadn't read the instructions and gave me the wrong information. I had expressed some concern, asking if we'd have time to finish, and was assured we would, but on the afternoon of the last day, only 7 out of 16 items we needed to complete the course has been checked off. The content was good, the labs useful, but the whole thing could easily have fit in 2 days.

Better yet, I could have learned twice as much in the 4 days I've spent there. Some of the most important and interesting things I learned happened only because I pounced on a lab tech when the instructor unexpectedly left for the afternoon (!), and I asked some detailed questions that turned out to be far beyond the scope of the class and turned into an hours-long whiteboard session. OK so I hijacked the class, but this was important.

Sheesh. Don't they know who they're dealing with? I have a new obsession, without the aptitude or background to learn it easily or without a zillion questions and scenarios -- so don't mess with me! Pound me with information please!

However, perhaps more important in the training arena:

Tonight, Gabriel wanted me to go dig around in the garage for some toy he'd been missing for a while (an RC car I think). He'd been obnoxious at dinner, so I made him work for it: he had to help me, and a lot, to clean up dinner. I believe this should be old hat for an almost-10-year-old, but in practice in our lives, after dinner means shuffling kids off to bed or making up for homework not done before dinner. So they have no idea how -- or even that -- the kitchen gets cleaned up. It's just magic.

But thanks to Veteran's Day, tomorrow is not a school day, so Gabriel had extra time -- and thanks to wanting the RC car -- extra incentive -- to help. He rinsed dishes, loaded and started the dishwasher, swept the floor and took out the garbage. Yeah!!! This should happen every night -- if only we could get dinner done well before bedtime. He's quite capable of it, despite his complaints. And I won't always have such a strong motivator like an RC car. But boy was it good to see him doing some actual work for a change. And frankly, it was fun spending time alone with him and chatting with him while we worked together. He goes to bed a little later than the others, so I get some alone-time with him every evening and it makes my day, but we never spend it with him cleaning.

If only I had more time -- if I weren't so busy working and training -- I'd have a lot more time to train him -- and his entitled siblings -- to work! It'd be good for all of us.

11/10/11

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

11/9/11 The training

I have so much more to say than what I'm about to write, but it's all I have the energy for right now.

This has been a weird week for me, since I've been attending a special training class at a company's headquarters conveniently located in Sunnyvale. Well, not SO convenient, since it's on the other side of Sunnyvale and is actually a with-traffic longer commute for me, but more convenient than some of my classmates. One flew from Tucson, and two others from Korea (!) to attend this class.

Sure would be nice if I weren't sick though. Sunday I was really not feeling well, then Sunday night, a temperature -- which I've pretty much had every morning and evening since. This evening is the first one since then that my temp reads normal and I don't feel chills and achy. If this holds, it means tomorrow will be my first morning at training class without fighting those chills and achiness too.

(Believe it or not, exercising has helped -- this class happens to be about 5 minutes away from the old gym I've belonged to since 1992, and I've been sneaking out at lunchtimes for a quick workout, which definitely helps!!)

Oh, OK, I'll quickly get this out: yesterday morning we met with Katrina's teacher for the first kindergarten conference. There's not much to say; Katrina's doing great. Her teacher says she's really quiet, and while slow with her work, she does finish. The only thing the teacher hoped to improve on is her social interaction, but she's not worried about it, and we're not either. Katrina just isn't a social butterfly type; she tends to be very independent and prefers smaller groups -- no surprise.

Her teacher did say also that the first time she tried to evaluate Katrina's reading, Katrina wouldn't answer basic questions, like the alphabet and sounds, so the teacher put aside the eval for a while and tried again later. The teacher saw that Katrina was reading fine, so tested her again, and this time Katrina was more cooperative and the teacher was able to evaluate that she's reading just fine.

The only other thing of note: I asked the teacher about Katrina's being on the young side, and the teacher said she can usually immediately identify the 4-year-olds who start kindergarten just by their behavior. Of course the teacher knows their birthdays, but she said that Katrina didn't exhibit that classic "oh yeah, that's a 4-year-old" behavior at all. That's a relief, because at home, she's still quite capable of throwing such an obnoxious tantrum that it brings the whole family down!

I really should be in bed by now, watching TV. Off I go!

11/9/11

Monday, November 07, 2011

11/7/11 Grumble!

Not again!

Katrina woke up throwing up at about 1:30am. Dave and I got up and cleaned her up (this was a "needs bath" event), changed her bedding, and took her temperature (none).

While the thermometer was out, I used it on myself too. I'd had a tough day myself, with a terrible terrible headache and feeling out of sorts, but also feeling compelled to get some work done so I could go to a training class today. Turns out, I had a 101.4 fever myself.

Perfect, I could stay home with Katrina anyway, right? No....I really wanted to go to this training! So I pretended it would go away, and I went to the training class. I knew I had a fever in the morning, but by afternoon it was mostly gone. Now I'm mostly tired and still find myself bending at the knees instead of bending down (to avoid any head rush because of the headache), but the worst is over.

If only poison oak healed so fast. It's incredible, my exposure to poison oak was so slight -- I'm not even exactly sure how or when it could have happened, but the consequences are brutal. The affected areas on my knees appear small, but the itch/pain are really deep and have lasted over a week now. This is the 3rd or 4th time I've gotten poison oak, and I didn't even get it that badly, but all events are memorable. It's awful.

The proper treatment for vomiting is fasting, but Katrina didn't agree with this. Dave says she complained all day about being hungry, but you're not supposed to give a vomiting kid anything to eat at all for 24 hours. By dinnertime, we agreed to give her a little toast, which she gobbled gratefully, then she ate some dinner too. There's only so much you can hold a kid back. I just hope her tummy can hold back!

11/7/11

Sunday, November 06, 2011

11/6/11 Little sick, no teeth

Friday morning, Katrina woke up throwng up, so no school for her. Dave and I divided sick-girl duty, so I was on with her for the afternoon. She was fine most of the time, a little lethargic, a little bored. Then I found her like this:

And she was out for a few hours. When she woke up, she said one of my new favorite interesting Katrina-sayings: I asked her, "How did you wake up this morning?" (meaning, did the throwing up wake you up, or were you already awake). She looked at me with that super-sincere direct look and deadpanned, "You know that thing, the THING that keeps you sleeping? ..... It stopped working!!"

But she did have a real temperature now, so she took it easy this weekend. Julian took her under his wing and read Pete Seeger stories to her for a while.


Gabriel is an official LatchKey Kid now -- we're not paying for CDC care for afternoons for him, so he must walk home. It rained a little this week, his first test, but not enough to be a real test.

Today during lunch, Julian was making his usual noisy open-mouth half-spitting-out disgusting chews, and then whaddya know, a tooth emerges from his mouth. "All I want for Christmas are my two front teeth!" -- and in his case, birthday too!

For me, this has been one heck of a weekend. I might be taking an all-day all-week training class next week, on unexpected notice, so I feel I must meet the commitments I'd made to work. I tried really hard to complete them over the weekend, but it was just too much.

On top of it, today was one of the worst physical-health days I've had in a long time -- mostly an unusually severe headache that is easily triggered by physical pressure. Bending down, raising my voice, running up stairs, coughing and even a hiccup sends jabs of pain through my head. Add to that some new physical ills from running: I took a nasty fall on Saturday and have bruises and bumps and scrapes on both knees, elbows and random pieces of fingers. But what I thought were flea bites on my legs I now think was another Rancho-related casualty: POISON OAK. I must have stepped off the trail to get something and brushed up just enough to poison small spots on my knees. Small, but awful.

So I'm a mess today, and feeling apologetic that I haven't been answering or initiating email as I should, but I've been feeling intense pressure to get work done that isn't fully doable (the famous "moving target") and just not sure how cool or uncool it is to take off for a week with almost no notice.

I guess if I had to pick one thing though, it would be the headache. This one is really severe, and I haven't had really severe headaches for a while, and even when I did, this counts among the most severe because it's so vulnerable.

At least I got the boys haircuts today, mostly against their will. But they look so handsome and dapper now!

11/6/11

Thursday, November 03, 2011

11/3/11 The card on the door

Yesterday when I got home from work, I found a business card tucked into the front door, with a written note scrawled on the back: "Please call." The card was from a social worker with the Dept. of Family and Children's Services from the county. Child Protective Services, effectively.

I left a voice message and emailed the guy right away, and he emailed back the next day. "Unfortunately," he reported, "there was a report of possible physical abuse for your son Julian." I called him and we agreed to meet at our house tonight at 6pm -- he needed to meet the kids.

Oh my goodness. It's happened. Someone busted us. We're horrible horrendous awful parents. So many things go through your mind: who reported us? What are they referring to? Is this true? Is there any chance they'll take the kids away?

I fast-forwarded right to the most horrible incidents. The report happened in the week that Julian was sent to the principal's office twice, a truly bad week when he was horrendously defiant and obnoxious when we tried to talk sternly with him about it. This might have been the week that he got The Belt, and I could hear him screaming from way down the block -- a rare event, but it did happen. Of course, he screams even louder when Halloween candy is confiscated, and he has a very strong voice -- for all I know, a neighbor turned us in when some much more innocent form of discipline was applied.

But the neighbor theory has some problems. The social worker's email specifically said "Julian" -- something a concerned neighbor overhearing piercing shrieks next door wouldn't necessarily be able to discern. Also, to hear the horrible screaming, which isn't at all often, you'd have to be outside or have your windows open, which none of our neighbors would have at that time. The time I heard it, I happened to go outside for a walk to avoid hearing it indoors, and it was loud, but it was an infrequent thing and you'd have to be outside listening.

And does screaming really mean physical abuse? Most of our neighbors have raised kids themselves and are very understanding. And our neighbors were also very gracious and kind and welcoming during Trick-or-Treating -- I didn't get any radar that anyone disapproved of us.

Further, the social worker's initial visit was during the day when none of us were home -- neighbors tend to know when the incidents occur, and see our cars in the driveway. That is, a neighbor is likely to mention the timing and that we're at work during the day.

So we were increasingly suspicious that the report was actually not made by a neighbor.

We met with the social worker at home tonight. He isn't allowed to tell us who reported us, but he did mention "mandated reporting," such as schools or other childcare providers who are required to make a report based on certain information. The report was of "excessive spanking" -- again something that a neighbor who overhears screaming isn't likely to conclude. And "spank" is a word we use and that Julian knows. There are lots and lots of words that people use for corporal punishment -- "spank" is a common one indeed, but I didn't hear "beat" or "hit" or "whack" -- I heard what we say and what Julian knows: "spank."

Anyone who interacts with Julian on a regular basis knows that frankly, he often deserves it. Anyone who interacts with us on a regular basis, like his teacher and CDC workers, knows that we usually look for ways around it, but are grateful and relieved (!) that we're supportive and willing to back up discipline with that level of action. Anyone who knows Julian and us understands that if we do spank him, it's part of an overall picture of dealing with his troublemaking -- not a reflex, not undeserved, and not a habit, even if he thinks so.

The more we thought about it, the more it sounded like someone who doesn't know Julian, or us, well heard him complain about spanking. Like at school. Lord knows he's had enough opportunity with all his visits to the principal's office.

So, ironically, we had a positive and productive meeting with the social worker. We frankly told him that we do spank Julian sometimes when things escalate, but it's never the first step and we do all the other "right" things first. We pointed out that we've never spanked Katrina -- never needed to.

He met the boys, talked to them for a few minutes, and they came off as happy, healthy, thriving little boys. As we talked, he seemed increasingly impressed by the way we're raising them, including things we don't even notice -- such as the fact that there's no TV blaring on in the background. He was very impressed that our kids have such limited screen time, that they have chores, do their laundry, have early bedtimes, entertain themselves reading and trying to break the laws of physics in Gabriel's case, and overall do very well in school.

Perhaps the biggest supporter of our case was Katrina. The whole time we were sitting in the living room talking, Katrina was quietly working on her homework in the dining room, completely independent and focused. When the social worker asked how it is we managed to raise our kids without screens all around them, adding that in his work that's very unusual, we just pointed to her.

Later during our conversation, we noticed Katrina on the floor with a dustpan and dustbrush, sweeping up pencil shavings that had fallen on the floor. We laughed and said that usually she doesn't clean up after herself, but all the kids do know where the dustpan is, and are told to clean up a mess they make. Our funny odd little sprite of a daughter really underscored our case for being a non-abusive family. Even if we were good actors, you can't fake the behavior of a 5-year-old.

In the end, the social worker said not only were the accusations unfounded, but complimented us on what a great job we're doing raising them. What a rare source of encouragement and validation, especially during a low point of parenting-- being reported to the County Department of Family and Child Services is pretty low.

Despite all the real possibilities, I'm pretty sure what happened is that Julian said something to someone, probably at school, who felt it had to be reported. Julian says stuff all the time that I'm amazed people believe, and the social worker completely agreed. Just last week, Julian's teacher commented that Julian was tired because he'd slept on the floor the night before -- but not only hadn't he slept on the floor, I'd specifically instructed him that he couldn't, and I'd had to drag him out of bed -- bed -- that morning! I've had to clarify other similar things, like, no, he didn't stay up late watching a movie, or, no, he wasn't woken up early by his brother. Kids say stuff all the time that's not true.

Now, it is true that we've spanked Julian, and yes, we've even used a very harsh resort of The Belt on him before, but does this constitute physical abuse? If a darling child with big wide gray eyes says "My Mom spanks me too much!" and you don't know him, it could sure seem like that. And I suspect it was just someone like that, at the school, perhaps a well-meaning trusting parent or administrator, who reported us based on Julian's word. Don't these people know kids?!

OK -- so this counts for a new low in parenting, but with an unexpected pat on the back too. And now I'm well-armed when people suggest we're not being tough enough on our immature entitled little complainer.

While we were talking with the social worker, Katrina was doing her week's worth of homework, including some optional items on her own. The boys never had trouble with kindergarten homework either, but they never did the optional parts, and certainly not an essay!

I like my home for three reasons. It is fine. I have neihbers. It has a fine neihberhood! It has stuff like a bike. That's it!

Yeah. That's it.

11/3/11

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

11/1/11 Tech Shop

Today I got to visit a most interesting place: The TechShop in San Jose. It's a new business, subscription-based, that gives crafty-techy types all sorts of resources and tools to let their imaginations go wild. It has a fully-stocked woodshop, metal shop, electronics lab, industrial sewing area with a full-size quilting machine, 3-D scanners, autocad machines, laser-cutters and some enormous water-cutter that can turn a piece of glass into a gear. Clients include people who are building robots, fabricating parts to restore cars, enscripting detailed plates with intricate details on any sort of material...it's really really impressive. Since they are a new business, they've enlisted my new employer's help for their in-store network and wireless access, including their cool little card-readers by each tool that let each client turn on the machine and verify that they're trained on it.

Anyway, today we had a meeting there, which I tagged along with, and was awed by the array of tools and things there, as well as how very competent and thorough my main new coworker is. I was hired to help relieve her load, but I'm suffering a serious crisis of confidence -- she's just so so much more experienced and capable than I am -- how soon will they find me out?! On the other hand, I have to remind myself that I wasn't hired for what I know, but what I can learn, so I'm trying to do that. Still, I'm keenly aware of how lost I'd be without my coworker and how much I have to learn. The good news is, I'm really happy to be learning it, including things I never expected I'd be interested in, primarily wireless networks.

And I get to go see cool places like The Tech Shop! (Unfortunately for us, but wise for them, their minimum age for membership and using their tools is age 12.)

And bonus: I sure am having fun chatting with Gabriel about RF (radio frequency) and channels and stuff though. It's mostly a terminology toss-around, since neither of us know much about it, though he's a lot better at throwing buzzwords around with confidence than I am! I sure hope I take after my mother more than my father when it comes to intellectual longevity...she could talk about this stuff with him now, and I'm barely sure I can at all.

OK, back to work!!

11/1/11 (cool date!)

Monday, October 31, 2011

10/31/11 Halloween school night

Nothing like having Halloween coincide with a Staff Learning Day, so kids had no school. This left time for the more important things in life! Like carving jack-o-lanterns with Aunt Laura and Uncle Ryan.

And putting up house decorations (complete with a moon in the background!).

And, of course, trick-or-treating around the neighborhood.

Laura and Ryan go home tomorrow, and it's always too soon!

10/31/11

Sunday, October 30, 2011

10/30/11 In-law visit!

How did this happen, I'm behind for days now!

Friday I attended Katrina's and Julian's Halloween parades (the 4th-graders don't parade).

Saturday Laura and Ryan arrived! The kids are thrilled, they had a lot of game-playing and of course we had a huge dinner.

Today, Sunday, lots of lazing around. Dave and Laura and Ryan took the kids to Benihana's, and I went to a wedding-reception-dinner for a former coworker.

Tomorrow I'm the only one with a normal day -- Laura and Ryan and Dave will be home with the kids -- even though it is Halloween!

10/30/2011

Thursday, October 27, 2011

10/27/11 Learning

So, I'm almost done with the 4th week at my new job --enough to feel like I should know what I'm doing, but not enough to know what I'm doing!! Fortunately my new boss is a terrific guy who starts off our meetings with, "So, are you getting all the training you're needing?" (instead of, like my last boss, "...I hired you.....you remember that, right? I HIRED you.... (implying that I must therefore be loyal...))

Anyway, I've been taking online training classes in wireless networks, to which my surprise, I'm finding really interesting. I don't know the first thing about RF and have no physics background to speak of, but I'm liking this. And incredibly, I'm expected to learn it -- really?? I'm flabbergasted. How on earth did I hit -- let alone deserve (especially given my far worthier colleagues?/?) this jackpot???

Tonight I attempted to lament to my family about how out-of-my-element I am. 'I just realized," I said, "I don't even know what a 'frequency' really is!" I said. Gabriel piped up, "It's a number of pulses per cycle in a second." Then he added, "For instance, one giga-hertz means one billion cycles per second." OMG. I know what a "giga" is, I thought, but couldn't do the math while I was cutting up steak to question him.

Another thing, I announced, I didn't realize I didn't understand, what really is an antenna? Is just one antenna for send and another for receive? Gabriel answered easliy, "An antenna converts electrical energy into electro-magnetic radiation -- sort of like a form of light." UHHHH, OK, that's SO not what I meant, but OK!!!

I know there's a point in a parent's life when you realize your kid is smarter than you (though my own mother has never experienced this), but is it supposed to happen when they're 9? Wasn't I supposed to have just a few more years?

This is a GREAT thing, by the way -- I'm really surprised by how interesting I find wireless networks and all the radio-frequency-spectrum stuff around it (for which I have NO physics background or aptitude, heaven help me) -- but I wasn't ready for my 9yo to rattle off to me the technical definition of an antenna. I must face reality (and a good one) not only is he faster and stronger than I am (almost), but smarter. Or at least, more knowledgeable.

World, take hope. And brace yourself! Here they come!!

10/27/11

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

10/25/11 Science day

Today's headline in the San Jose Mercury News: Schools Flunk Science

With a photo of some 4th-graders dissecting owl pellets.

Gabriel came home with a "special project" from his teacher -- a windmill that would power a small motor. It's for something Gabriel's teacher wants to demonstrate, so he asked Gabriel to take it home and assemble it for him. Gabriel took this very seriously and was VERY proud of it!

Funny that, according to that article, all across the state, schools are pushing out science, but our 4th grade is getting the best dose of it I could imagine. Gabriel's teacher really loves science and nature, so his enthusiasm and energy shows, especially in Gabriel's reaction to it. After all, Gabriel happily went home and immediately tackled an extra project the teacher had given him! It's a shame that some schools can't focus on science, but it's not even clear ours can either. In the end, the quality of teaching matters the most, and that's why Gabriel's getting such a good dose of science, because of his teacher.

Gabriel also spent a lot of time making an electromagnetic with his electronics lab kit and some paper clips. His having a quiet hour and a half at home after school, plus a good refreshing half-hour walk outdoor to get there, is SO good for him!

10/25/11

Monday, October 24, 2011

10/24/2011 The Poet

Look what came in the mail yesterday! A book of poetry. I'd forgotten about this, but Gabriel's 3rd-grade teacher submitted one of his poems (I'm sure that he had to write, under duress), for publication. If I recall, it was a selective process, and his was picked.
Gabriel's is in the lower right.
I don't know if this is brilliant poetry or not, but I take it as a personal accomplishment that he mentions both skiing and camping! Yay!

10/24/2011