4/21/07 Sporting goods

A weekend day! I actually felt like today was a Saturday, distinct from the weekdays. This escapes most full-time-stay-at-home Moms, especially since the weekend means childcare is closed!

After soccer this morning, Dave took the boys to Big 5 Sporting Goods to get them better shin guards and soccer socks, even though Julian isn't taking a soccer class right now.

Julian's guards are "a shade of red," according to Dave. Yeah, I call that shade "fuschia," otherwise known as "pink." It doesn't matter though; turns out you're supposed to wear the socks over the guards. And his socks really are red.

The boys thought it would be great fun not to pose for pictures with their new shin guards, so I got some action shots of them avoiding a photo session by riding tricycles madly in circles. Turns out, I think these pics are cuter anyway.


Poor Julian, what he has to endure in life. Gabriel just won't quit bugging him! Such as ramming his tricycle into the back of Julian's.

Then we all went to REI to get a better bicycle helmet for Julian, and one for me. Julian picked out a bright pink one (it seems he's into fuschia), thinking it was one for him, but it so happened it was a "Universal Women's" size that fit me fine. So now I have a helmet that will make me very easy to find in a crowd. (Note that I don't have a bicycle, but I do have a rollerblading workshop coming up.)

There was an incredible intersection of naps this afternoon that meant all five of us were asleep at the same time for about 15 minutes. Which was the extent of my nap, thanks to a very minor dry cough that's juuust enough to wake me up and keep me from easily falling asleep again. No matter though; I extricated myself from a very comfy snuggle-up with Dave, went downstairs and tucked a pillow under Gabriel's head (he'd fallen asleep on the floor), and then enjoyed some very rare quiet time in the house.

It wasn't long before I was joined by Katrina, and her fairly early wakeup gave me an idea: can I take her out in the jogging stroller to explore the running at the Sunnyvale Baylands park? I had a lot to do to get myself and her ready first, and during that time we had a brief but nice visit from the entire White family, to return our borrowed pickup truck. Gabriel and Gina wasted no time embarking on their usual chaos. Meantime, it started to sprinkle and was getting cold -- too risky to take baby out in the stroller right next to the bay.

But I had set myself to go running, even though it was 5:30, getting dark, sprinkling rain and threatening more. I was even running-dressed in a wonderful new pair of capris I got from Athleta today -- a rare find that are actually short enough to be capri-length on me.

At the last minute, I decided to try running a familar route: the hike at Rancho San Antonio I've walked many, many times with my mom friends. The steep uphill ("Butt-Buster Bluff") at the beginning is a whole lot easier when you're not pushing a jogging stroller, carrying a baby on your back, pregnant, or some combination thereof! Betsy and Sonia are right: unpaved running is absolutely the way to go. The outdoor run felt great, and the clouds held out for me, but it was pouring rain when I pulled into our driveway.

I didn't love the tight crampy feeling in my legs later though. I made up for that by discovering that the "Hi" setting on my new whirlpool tub is actually less noisy and buzzy-vibrating than "Lo," and was actually quite nice. I remember when we were planning our new bathroom, we got the suggestion many times to skip the tub: "Who really takes baths, anyway?" Me!

If today was really a Saturday, will tomorrow really be a Sunday?

4/21/07

4/20/07 A classic baby toy

Does it get any cuter than this? It's so fun to smile at my brother making funny faces behind the camera when Mom is trying to get some video of me spinning this toy.

(Not sure why the embedding isn't working. If it's not, try this link:
Katrina smiles and plays




Today I brought out one of my (!) favorite baby toys, one that you can't get anymore in an analog version. We were handed down one of these, then I found a newer generation one for $1 at a garage sale, so we had two. Both of which I gave away with all our baby stuff, because we weren't having any more babies! Then Bonne Maman found this one in Pennsylvania.

It's got lots of things to spin, press, boing, turn and move from side to side, and it's a terrific baby entertainer.

Unfortunately, the new versions of these are all battery-powered light-flashing obnoxious-electronic-noise-making irritants. Not only are they really annoying to grownups, but their top claim of being "educational" for infants is foiled by the utter predictability of the electronics. You push this button, a light flashes. You turn this knob, tones emit. You always get exactly the same response.

But with the old-fashioned mechanical one, how you handle the controls affects how it responds. You spin it a little, it turns a little. You hold the knob all the way to the side, you get a bigger boing. You push it harder, it makes a bigger squeak sound. And all the infinite variations inbetween. Not just ON-OFF poles, but the entire scale inbetween. Even though we live in digital Silicon Valley, the truth is, most of our world is still analog. Especially a baby's world.

Not that I'm bent on toys being "educational," and I'll spare you that rant for now -- but the mechanical analog toys are far far more fun. And yes, representative of the real world. Which, mercifully, doesn't always tone and flash back at you.

This same toy was Gabriel's longtime favorite, since it had so much stuff to spin. It's sort of poignant now to see him showing it to his little sister. (And, slightly annoying that he keeps taking over!)

(Not sure why the embedding isn't working. If it's not, try this link:
Gabriel shows Katrina how to spin





Gabriel is allowed to make tunnels over Katrina -- instead of jump over her! (Hmm, am I a hypocrite, or have I gained some Mom paranoia? I let him jump over Julian as a baby! 'Course the delta in size, weight and speed between Gabriel and Julian when Julian was a baby is a far cry from Gabriel and Katrina now. Still, am I being sexist here?)





O Brother, Where Art Thou? Please don't drop that on my head!

















Of course, the strap is often the most interesting -- and tasty -- part.

4/20/07

4/19/07 Baby food

I remember now why I ended up making most of my baby food for the first two. It wasn't for the top reasons usually cited, such as that the food is healthier (I don't exactly keep a sterile kitchen), or more convenient (it's not) or cheaper (heck no). In fact, making food takes preparation, cooking, and a lot of water and cleanup. But that's true of food I make for everyone else too.

My main reason? Baby food I make just tastes a whole lot better.

Pears are one thing I recall being worth buying in jars, since you can spend $10 on a huge heavy bag of pears and puree it down to a thimbleful. But yesterday I tasted some Earth's Best jarred pears -- yeccchh! Mostly water! Katrina knew the difference too, as I'd been giving her some flavorful fresh mango, ran out, then resorted to the jarred pear. She ate it, but she lost her enthusiasm.

Today I had a pear that was less than perfectly crisp. I'm picky about pears, I like them very firm and if they're soft in the slightest, out it goes. But this was perfect for baby, so I steamed it, peeled it, and zapped it up in my mini-food-processor. YUM. It was so good. (Note to self: it was a Comice pear, not a variety I usually see, but Whole Foods happened to have it. Mm.)

The boys have suddenly developed an interest in baby food, and are constantly pleading with me to try Katrina's. I just smile and spare them the reminder that a few weeks ago, they'd have nothing at all to do with yams or prunes. Today I relented and let them both taste the pear puree, and both liked it so much that the only way I could stop them from hurling insults at me and conspiring to give me a "bad ticket" for not giving them more, was to let them take turns feeding it to Katrina.

Oh dear! They were all over that!!

Before I knew it, Gabriel had thrust the spoon all the way in poor baby's mouth. Katrina didn't cry though, she just gave me a wide-eyed puzzled face, like, "HELP! What are you letting them DO to me?!"

After some instruction, they did fine, and got a huge kick out of feeding her. Gabriel beamed, "Finally! I fed her!" I hope I haven't opened a can of worms here, as when it comes to Katrina, he is less than gracious when not permitted to "help."

(He asks me if he can carry her...! I don't know, maybe if she's in a ceiling-mounted harness, like they use to spot gymnasts....)


Once again, Katrina took a far longer nap than I expected (2-1/2 hours!!), so I ended up not getting Julian down for a nap. When she woke up, I let Julian watch a slideshow of photos on my computer while I nursed her. ("That's Cousin Aidan!" he exclaimed excitedly, "I love Cousin Aidan!") Seems he needed a nap after all, as I found him asleep in my office chair!

Meantime, Gabriel was on timeout for kicking Julian in the face with his hard sneaker, resulting in a big bump and a bloody nose and a lot of wailing. "FINE. I DON'T CARE. Do you want me to put you in jail? You're a BRAT" Gabriel retorted as he dragged his feet into timeout. (Who are these children who actually feel bad about injuring their brother?!) A few minutes later, I found him asleep on the floor, and stuck a baby blanket under his head, conflicted about adding to his comfort after such a severe infraction. Later, he rearranged the blanket on top of him.

These past few days, Katrina has been absolutely brimming with energy and joy. She makes all sorts of funny sounds, flails her arms and legs, reaches aggressively for everything, smiles and laughs at the slightest provocation. She's really been sweet and fun, with only fussy moments at obvious times ("I'm hungry," "I'm tired," etc.) I think good solid naps are responsible for this clear sailing. Good, solid, long, uninterrupted, regular naps. I can't imagine.

4/19/07

4/18/07 Katrina's first swim class

Katrina had her first swim class today!


At first, she was really happy, smiling and obviously excited by this new venture.


Before the lesson, she wouldn't take her eyes off the pool, not even for a photo with Mom.

She wasn't crazy about the teacher though, and cried pitifully when he took her. I was able to distract her, but then the crying started in earnest.

So I figured I'd just pull her out early. But she recovered and then happily hung out for all of playtime.


Then she was all funny faces and raspberries after the lesson. Just like her older older brother was (though he didn't cry): energized by, and happy about, this new fun experience.

Julian, meantime, sat down in a chair and pretty much didn't budge the entire 45 minutes we were there, including getting myself and Katrina changed before and after the lesson. I hadn't been sure what to do with him (Tonya's closed this week for spring break, or he'd be at preschool), but decided to risk it and hope he'd be good and sit -- and he was great.

I wish I could say the same for later. Julian's screaming has really become a problem, and I have absolutely no idea how to get him to stop. No amount of timeouts, sending him upstairs or outside, or taking something away, or whispering back to him, or anything, will stop it happening. Even something expected and benign like, "Julian! Time to go pee and wash hands before dinner!!" can elicit a shriek, out of which you can barely discern a "No!" At least when Gabriel anticipates that Julian is going to get in big trouble, he turns on Angel mode. Uh-huh. Mr Angel. Surrrre.

We spent some time hanging out in the family room this evening, with Katrina practicing her sitting -- and piano playing! Her grandmother is a pianist, so she has good genes for it. Is this how it starts? Of course, it'd be a lot easier to practice without my brothers distracting me!


This led to a capture of the kids hanging out together, just a few typical moments around here, nothing special. It's very sweet, but I have to stay very close to keep baby from getting mushed. Well, by Julian, anyway. Gabriel is actually very careful, and in this little clip, he even protects Katrina from Julian, pushing his head away.



I went out with two friends tonight, to talk about sort-of business, and of course, catch up on our kids and cheesecake. But not necessarily in that order.

4/18/07

4/17/07

What a world we live in. Violence. Mayhem. Cruelty. Threats. The risk of injury or pain at any corner turned. Land mines strewn across seemingly harmless ground. Senseless screaming.

And that's just my house!

Actually, it feels tacky to joke about violence on the day after a horrendous shooting massacre. The world is so full of wrong. I do wish some days that I could find solace in a peaceful household. But, in a way, I find solace in a chaotic, crazy, kid-driven household instead. With kids, life goes on, regardless.


We plodded along our day with little incident. We went to the park this morning, where Julian played ball with Rylan and Quinton.

Katrina really needed a nap after the park, so I bailed on a much-overdue trip to Trader Joe's, picked Gabriel up early, took them all home and put her down.

She woke up when both boys were asleep, grouchy, so I fed her. She eats so eagerly, three times today, that I'm really wondering how it is that babies technically don't need anything but breastmilk for the first year of their lives. You'd never know it to see how excited she gets when the first spoonful of food approaches.

Gabriel had made himself comfortable on the couch, as he often does. Dave came home early, not feeling well, and lay down to rest too. Oh, how I envy the ability to do just take off of work and lie down when you need to! Soon, Katrina needed nap #3 for the day, so I had a rare few moments when the entire family, except me, was asleep.

Tomorrow is Katrina's first swim lesson!

4/17/07

4/16/07 M is for....

Miserable
Mom
MIGRAINE

Anyone else getting tired of hearing about this? Me too. It's back, in full force, with intense pressure, photophobia, noise sensitivity, weird smells, stomach pain, and inability to concentrate. I'm not sure it ever really went away, though yesterday was relatively headache-free except around bedtime. Technically then I count this as Day 8. At least I got a brief break for about 10 minutes on a treadmill (out of 15).

Thank goodness then that Katrina took a nice 2-1/2 hour nap! And she was in a terrific mood when she woke up.


Her naps have gotten reliable enough now that I'm going to start insisting Julian take one too. I've been lax about it, since I hate to spend one instant of my baby-free time doing something I can do while she's up (put Julian to nap that is). But with a reliable 2+ hour nap, there's leeway now.

So I didn't even attempt to get Julian down, and the boys played together out back all afternoon. This involved climbing on the garbage cans over the deck rail, going to the back storage area and climbing over our stored stacks of bricks, and drawing with chalk on the deck -- none of which are allowed. Still, for the most part, they played together pretty well, with only one injury (a scratch on Julian's cheek, for which of course I can't get a straight story as to its origin).


I attempted a photo session with all three; this was the best of the bunch. It's hard enough getting the boys to take it all seriously, and get all three to look up, no one blink or look away....but then Katrina kept spitting up prunes all over her white shirt and all over the boys' hands and clothes. Naturally this gastric volcano had to occur during the one five-minute interval of the day when I could get the boys to sit still with her for a photo session.

I'm going to attempt an early-to-bed tonight, though that might only result in more hours spent lying awake with a vice grip on my head.

4/16/07

4/15/07 To the hills

I was in the mood to test myself running outdoors today, on an unpaved trail. That and the fact that the Y's Childwatch closed at 12:30, and our usual big Sunday breakfast had us running much too late to make it there.

That meant taking Katrina in the single jogging stroller somehwere, since Dave was working hard putting and throwing away some leftover construction stuff in our yard, including a trip to the dump. (I'm beside myself! It looks so much better!)

I didn't want to circle Rancho San Antonio's parking lot in the usual frustrating weekend search for parking, so asked my longtime pal Paul to show me his favorite trail at the nearby Fremont Older Space Preserve. I figured we'd hike it, though he usually mountain-bikes it, and I'd see if it was suitable for running. He wasn't so sure it would even be good for hiking with a stroller, since it's steep and narrow. But, lacking any other ideas on short notice, I figured I'd try it.

First thing I did upon arrival was circle the parking lot looking for parking. Now really. Don't I know by now that if parking is hard in one place, it's bound to be just as hard in a similar, nearby place?! Then Paul had to look for parking too. I guess it's a good thing that outdoor resources in the Bay Area are so popular.

Turns out, steepness wasn't an issue, but narrowness definitely was -- especially since the trails are also used by mountain bikes. An oncoming mountain bike flying around a blind corner would have to make a quick stop for a jogging stroller to move over. There was no way a double stroller would have made it, and even with the single, there were some dropoffs that would have concerned me if I were the acrophobic type. In the end, it looks like a great place for a challenging run, when I'm ready for challenging runs, but not with any sort of jogging stroller.

Still, views were lovely, though Katrina missed the best parts with a curtailed afternoon nap. She didn't make so much as a mew the entire hike, mostly just looking around. It was a much rougher hike than any of my babies in strollers have endured, but, she had no problem.

I'm delighted to report that last night, I only nursed Katrina once, around 4am. She did wake up crying around midnight, and when I checked her, she had no blankets on, and her ankles were freezing. So I picked her up, held her (I'm such a sucker for punishment; I still hold out hope that some day she'll relax on my shoulder and actually sort of hug me back instead of rigidly trying to escape), sniffed her bottom, and then put her back down, this time wrapping her up in the blankets. She was asleep before I got back to bed. Around 4am, she nursed like her life depended on it.

I was up anyway, enduring another awful night of sleep, due to a new reason: my eyes contracted whatever Gabriel had last week: red, goopy, itchy eyes. But mine got worse than I've seen anyone's so far, with puffiness all around, especially my eyelids. I woke up numerous times last night with tears streaming down my face. Fortunately, I have a prescription antibiotic from a previous episode, and that seems to be helping. Today my eyes are clear, but the puffiness remains. I look absolutely awful.

But even though I had to get up twice last night to pry my goop-dried eyes open, there was a new sensation: normal. That is, my head wasn't pounding. I was really tired this morning, but my head was clear. I'd actually started to forget what it was like for the worst thing about mornings is seeing yourself in the mirror.

Next week: spring break! Meaning: Tonya's closed! I get to really be a full-time mom now!

4/15/07

4/14/07 Gabriel and Julian Pump it Up

A rainy day -- perfect for a fun birthday party at Pump It Up, a huge indoor place with inflatable play structures: jump houses, slides, obstacle courses.

Julian would have nothing to do with it at first, scared of the large inflatables and the noise.


He got over it though, especially when there was cake involved!


Gabriel disappeared quickly and mostly played hard the whole time.

And I got to be there baby-free! This gave me time to play with the boys, in theory, though as usual I spent most of the time yakking.

Katrina and Dave did great together. She'd napped until about 11am this morning, I nursed her, handed her off to Dad, and scooted the boys into the car for the party. Later, Dave reported that he fed her and put her down without a peep at 1pm, then she took a 2-1/2 hour nap. Yay baby! Now that's napping! (I know that introducing solids isn't supposed to affect sleep, but she has been napping a heck of a lot better lately.)

We all went to Midori for dinner, something we haven't tried since Katrina was a sleepy(ish) newborn. I brought a booster chair and food for her, and went between playing and feeding her, and scarfing sushi. Other than a little row with Gabriel, it all went swimmingly. Katrina is loving this new phase of life: sitting up well enough to sit in high chairs, and eating food. As usual, her brothers are constant source of entertainment, and they provided this nicely at the restaurant.

I've been struggling with this migraine again, and was very anxious to run and work out at the Y tonight. But they close much earlier on Saturdays, and I had to drive away from the empty, dark parking lot in deep disappointment. Don't they know?! I have children!! Can't they be open late for me?! Can't something in my life revolve around me?! The nerve!

OK, rant over.

I'm looking forward to a nice unscheduled Sunday, with lots of napping planned.

4/14/07

4/13/07 Friday the 13th

It's back. wah. ouch.

4/12/07 New toys

Kristi dropped off some hand-me-down toys today (thanks!), in theory for Katrina. But the boys wasted no time in rummaging through the bag and claiming some as their own.

An adorable wooden train pull-toy was a special favorite of Gabriel's (of course).

They ran madly around the house, shouting and laughing, with "Katrina's" toys. Sigh. I managed to settle them down momentarily with a photo session.

(This photo's for you, Steph!)

While making dinner, I was able to set Katrina up on the floor, sitting, with plenty of cushioning around her for the inevitable tipovers.

But, as I feared, gravity was not her biggest hazard: Gabriel just couldn't resist her! He kept moving her protective barrier to sit next to her, or massaging her head with his filthy fingers, or stacking boxes in front of her and taking them away as she'd reach for them, and, as I found later looking at this picture, giving her the train pull-toy that really isn't appropriate for a 6-month-old baby (note said 6-month-old baby playing with the heavy string). I just can't keep Gabriel off her! I had to pick her up and carry her to keep her from being loved to death.

Another thing my mother told me recently is that she doesn't remember this overwhelming show of affection from my sister and myself toward our younger brother when he was a baby. She said we sisters were much more focused on each other, and my brother could play in relative peace and safety. Other moms I talk to have issues with jealousy, others worry that the older child shows no interest. As difficult as Gabriel's relentless attention to his sister makes my life sometimes, I'm equally as delighted that he is so taken with her. It more than makes up for how miserable Gabriel made Julian's babyhood.


Katrina showing off her skinny legs after a NICE LONG AFTERNOON NAP YAYYY!!

Tonight I decided not to take another skating class (snifff!). But probably because of the residual thunderbolts of migraine in my head, my urge to be underwater was strong today. So tonight, I went swimming. Swimming! Outdoors! I've long since gotten over the "it's cold" problem, since it's such a treat to be able to swim.

After setting up boys -- and girl -- with dinner, I left Dave with them and zoomed out to the Sports Center. To my amazement, though I haven't swum in months, my usual goal of 1000 yards was easy. I kept going and kept upping my goal, until I swam a full 2000 yards without stopping. That is more than I've done since I was in super-swimming-shape in 1989, and it's thanks to all the running. I'm reeling from the effort now, but boy, it felt good.

But an even greater accomplishment occurred at the same time: I got home at 8:15pm, and found Dave cleaning the kitchen, a joy to behold in and of itself, and ALL THREE KIDS WERE IN BED!!!!! Early!! And he did it single-handedly! Yayyy!

Jeez, I could have taken a skating class after all. But having such a fabulous swim more than made up for it.


Katrina's, Julian's and Gabriel's favorite animals.

4/12/07

4/11/07 Mom rejoins the world

The clouds have parted! I'm human again!

The migraine is down to a dull roar. What a difference, moving through the day without a crushing headache. While this one was "only" four days, it was very intense. How does it know enough to last for days? Why can't whatever makes it finally go away kick in earlier? Someone could make a fortune finding the answer to that.

I was thinking last night, with my last few remaining brain cells, about a conversation with a friend in college about headaches. He trumpeted that he never took aspirin or Advil or anything on the occasions he got headaches. "No, I just stick it out," he said, with a hint of disdain. Uh-huh. Yeah. Sure. Men are just soooooo tough when it comes to not feeling well. Clearly he'd never had a severe headache. Migraines are nothing like "normal" headaches, like you get with a cold.

Gabriel missed school today, due to his eye. I took him to the pediatrician, and she really had little to say: keep treating it with the drops. It wasn't goopy today, but still very very swollen. I really hope it's better tomorrow; it's been a serious effort today keeping him off Katrina. I feel terrible yelling at him for kissing her!

I had a nice morning alone with Gabriel though. How different life would be with just one kid! I try not to think about how very, very much easier it would be.

Today I heard Gabriel say, "Hey, that box says jur-bear!" and after a little looking around, found that he was referring to "Gerber" on a box of baby cereal. A fine attempt at sounding out a word, especially considering we've really never sat down and showed him how to do it.

Gerber? Shame on me. I bought the box impulsively a few weeks ago. It's not whole grain, and instead is processed down to fragile transparent little flakes bearing no resemblance to hearty oatmeal. There's no reason for this. I need to get some whole-grain cereal, or better yet, grain that I make into cereal myself. Every bite should count. This is why I insist on high-quality cheesecake.

Katrina...amazing nap day! She napped for over 3 hours at Tonya's this morning! She didn't have time to eat before I picked her up, and she was fine. That does it -- I know she can nap, and I know she can go long periods without eating. I'm going to kick off a sleep-through-night campaign soon. Anyway, she also took a 2-hour afternoon nap. Whoopee! She was in a great mood all day.

(Don't look too closely at the photo, or you'll see that her bib says "Sweet baby boy." Most of her bibs were inherited from a boy!)

When we got home from Tonya's, she chowed down three bowls of food! A "bowl" for her is very small of course, but call it a quantity for which most mothers would be satisfied with a 6-month-old eating for a meal. She is eating like a champ. Poor thing...her system is facing a serious adjustment to the new food though. Please, let's hope she takes after Gabriel on this one, and not her chronically, miserably stopped-up younger big brother.

Sitting is going really well too! I still don't dare leave her, but as long as she has some back support to fall back on, she can sit up for minutes now.

Skating....I really want to do this again, but the logistics seem daunting. Maybe when Katrina is older? But why would that be easier? She's trivial to put to bed now, as she doesn't demand a book, or putz around putting pajamas on or refuse to brush teeth or run around naked shrieking "WEE-WEE! WEE-WEE!" or any countless number (is that an oxymoron?) of infractions some UN-NAMED perpetrators around here do.

Funny kid comment of the day: Julian, while struggling to pull his pants down for pre-dinner pee: "I'm having man problems."

How not to calm kids down at the end of the day: watch the famous song "Make 'em Laugh", sung and danced by Donald O'Connor in Singin' In The Rain. The boys were ALL OVER THE PLACE afterward, jumping up and down on the couch, shouting "Make 'em Laugh!" and being completely out of control. (But also, don't miss the dance cameo by Cyd Charisse in the weirdo fantasy sequence "Broadway Melody" toward the end of the movie, in the green flapper outfit. Oh my, it doesn't get any better than that, she is absolutely amazing.)

In a futile attempt to calm the boys down, I played a game in which I told them NO KISSES FOR MOM! Then I found myself smothered in kisses from giggling little boys, and I let them "attack" me as I lay on the ground like a cockroach on its back, crying helplessly, "No more kisses!!!" and they continued to pelt me with their little lips, laughing uncontrollably. Ah, the moments every Mom lives for. (Suckers!)

A little video of Katrina "relaxing" a bouncer. This is the way she was in-utero, folks! She has calm moments now, especially sitting up, but she still can be awfully wiggly.


I thought of something today, as I hastily cleaned up oatmeal splatters with my fingertips: Motherhood is a sure-fire cure for perfectionism.

4/11/07

4/10/07 Pinkeye attack!

Yesterday afternoon, Julian's right eye developed signs of pinkeye, so I put drops in his eyes right away. This morning, they were a little red, but not goopy.

But, Gabriel's eye looked a little suspicious, so I proactively put drops in his eyes too. He objected, saying it was going to hurt, and I promised him it'd sting for only a moment. I encouraged him by saying, "I know you can do this, you're a brave boy," and he answered funny kid comment of the day: "I'm not brave enough!"

Gabriel looked OK enough to go to pre-K today, but this afternoon, his eye turned awful -- swollen, red, goopy, itchy. No school for him tomorrow. Julian's eyes haven't gooped since yesterday, but they're still a little bloodshot. Katrina...clear so far (her brothers got stern lectures not to touch her). I'm not sure what to do tomorrow....Julian has his last skating class. Can I count on Gabriel to behave himself for an hour at the ice rink while I skate with Julian?

Gabriel went to see the audiologist today. Diagnosis: fluid in his ears, causing hearing loss in his right ear, with the left ear at the low end of normal. Nerve function is normal. When the pediatricians get the report, we'll talk about treatment.

Another funny kid comment of the day: This morning, Dave made toast for himself and the boys out of leftover bread from last night, of which there were 3 pieces. He said, "3 people wanted toast and we had 3 pieces. I call that fortunate." To which Julian answered, "I call it bread!"

Katrina and Julian and I went to the park today and hung out with friends.

She's getting better at sitting up!

Later, she sat quite well on her own on the couch, as the back helped support her. Yay, I love the sitting-up phase!

And, she did great eating yams tonight, though it took the removal of distraction #1 and distraction #2 for it to happen. I swear, she likes making them laugh, and gets all excited and giggly -- if I didn't know better, I'd say she's putting on a little show! Finally, with brothers removed, then she opened her mouth, sucked the yams off the spoon, and pretty much finished the bowl. Good going baby!

The boys set up a perfect symmetric little picnic today on the rear deck, down to the footstools, to enjoy their afternoon snack of strawberries.

Today I caught a few minutes of A Baby Story on TLC. A pregnant mom with a 2-year-old girl said that with this second pregnancy, she didn't put on as much weight and the baby is kicking a whole lot more....so she thinks it must be a boy. That's amusing, 'cause those two things were true of my pregnancy with Katrina.

Migraine still in full force today, though finally showing signs of waning tonight. It's really devastating -- not just the intense pain and pressure, but how long it lasts. The agony is bad for a few hours, but, typically of migraines, it goes on for days. It kept me from sleeping last night until 2:30am, at which point I got up for Katrina anyway, then I took 1/3 of an Ambien, this time without much angst. It allowed me 3-1/2 hours of sleep before Katrina woke up for the day. Meantime, I had nightmares about going to the park and having convulsions or some sort of freaking-out episode and humiliating myself and terrifying my kids. I seriously start to feel like I'm losing my mind. Certainly it makes me negative and bitter, if yesterday's writings are any indication. And my migraines aren't even that bad, compared to other sufferers who are bedridden for days! What possible evolutionary benefit could this miswiring have?!

Funny how you don't remember, or even know, basic things about your own childhood. Somehow in conversation today with my mother, I learned that I missed most of kindergarten! I'd always assumed I'd attended P.S. 29 for kindergarten, with a Montessori school in there for a few weeks during a teacher's strike. The truth is, I attended P.S. 29 for only a week or two, then there was a long strike, and my mother finally put me into a Montessori school for only 2 or 3 months, which is where I learned how to read. Yet somehow I made it through school (I was never a star student but I wouldn't attribute that to my kindergarten lapse). It certainly puts a new perspective on all the emphasis placed on early schooling: important, but only one of many, many elements that go into a lifetime of learning.

First things first though. Let's get the sitting up down pat!

4/10/07

p.s. heyyy, blogger forced me to upgrade to the new version. I wonder what new bugs will appear now? (Speaking of bugs, it absolutely appalls me that for the 3rd year in a row, TurboTax has the same old bug that when you save a tax return to a PDF file, it sometimes says "there are errors in the return, are you sure you want to continue printing?" -- even if TurboTax itself says there are no errors in the return at all. How do these bugs get past basic QA so many years in a row?! I shudder to imagine what other bugs there are.)

4/9/07 Look who's coming to dinner

For the first time, all five us us sat down to dinner as a family!

The Grand Plan was to introduce yams to Katrina.

Not a yam fan. It didn't go over well.

















But then, neither did cereal at first, and look how great she's doing with it now.


Another dinner problem tonight, a great one to have: I didn't make enough spinach. Everyone finished theirs and wanted more. Wow.

Still staggering from a brutal headache today. I have a confession to make about that. Something I really, really don't like, but decided was necessary. Last night, I went to bed ultra-early, but I knew I wouldn't be able to go to sleep right away. My nocturnal nature and the intense pain would keep me awake. So I took an Ambien, a prescription sleep aid, one I resorted to in desperation during pregnancy (prescribed and OK'd by my OB) and used as little of as possible.

Yes folks, it's come to that. A friggin' sleeping pill. I absolutely hate that. I'm the world's best, easiest sleeper left to my own devices, yet here I am popping mother's little helper. But it was effective: I did fall asleep early (11pm is early), slept soundly between Katrina's two wakeups, and woke up still in pain but with new resources to battle the headache all day. I've really gotten slammed hard with this one.

Between a baby who doesn't nap enough and a severe headache, I had little left for nonsense from the boys. Unfortunately, Gabriel picked today to dish it out.

I had to order the boys into the living room so they'd leave her alone for the 5 minutes I needed to make her lunch. Despite my assurances that this wasn't a timeout and they could come back in as soon as I had Katrina set up, Gabriel was incensed. He was outraged that I took him away from Katrina, and wouldn't stay in the living room and hurled insults and threats to me. Finally I put him on timeout, and from there he screamed and demanded to be let out RIGHT NOW and said "Oh YEAH you think you can do THAT?!" and kicked the door. I went back and forth many times, increasing his timeout for each new offense. For a while it was quiet, then when I checked on him, he'd done the one destructive thing he could do there: dump all the sand out of his shoes onto the floor, and it was a substantial pile. He flat-out told me that he did that because I wasn't listening to him. So I told him to get out and go up to his room. Then, more insults: "FINE Mommy, you're a stinky poop! You have to say PLEASE!".

I had absolutely had it. His defiance had gone on too long. So I did something I've never done before. I pulled his pants down and smacked his bare bottom hard, several times. I admit it. I spanked him good. (I have spanked him before, but not bare.)

And for once, it worked. Even his alligator-hide bottom couldn't take it, and he finally, finally broke down and cried. That disrupted the impasse, and while he still had to go to his room, at least he was cooperative. I'm sorry to let you down, Supernanny, but this kid is extraordinarily difficult to derail, and frankly, I'm thrilled that I was able to. No parent wants to spank their kids, so you have to believe that we've been pushed to the limit to resort to it. It's actually pretty remarkable that it worked on him today.

And as long as I'm dishing out the confessionals...this morning, I had time off from all three, a good thing since I had such a bad headache and had to confront another headache: taxes. At least I got Dad's taxes done and filed. But I so enjoyed my few free hours that I felt guilty. I hate to admit it; no Mom feels good about feeling this, but...I don't like the baby life. I love my baby of course, she's funny and charming and full of energy, but the 24/7-ness of it, the constant carrying, the being interrupted at any moment...I was done with that. I had a taste of freedom about when Julian turned 2, and it was very sweet. It's hard to go back. I like life with little boys, not babies, and I'm even a little resentful that I can't enjoy that because I'm so baby-bound. I'm not even sure to whom to direct that resentment -- myself, really. And then I feel bad for not enjoying more the baby time, since I do know from experience how fleeting it is. I know, it's supposed to be the most precious time, an amazing thing, one to relish and enjoy, babies are the light of our lives. I feel an extra layer of guilt because I know so many women, especially those my age, would do anything to have this "problem" of a perfect, healthy, vital, beautiful baby. That's all true...but does anyone talk about the dark side? Is it just me?

Bad Mom Me today.

And the migraine rages on.

4/9/07

4/8/07 Easter Day!

What started off as a very nice day with a yummy brunch and easter egg hunt with the White family was turned into a black, horrible afternoon of one of the worst migraines I've had in months. In retrospect it's been coming for a few days (excessive sleepiness, "normal" headaches at night), and was starting to bother me this morning, but slammed hard this afternoon and continues to pound me as I type. So I'll cut this short for once. Really!

Katrina, incredibly, woke up only once last night, and waited until a respectable 4am. Then good morning and afternoon naps, about 2 hours each. And then went to bed on the early side for her (7:30). Thank you Baby! (Being so cute today wearing a lovely outfit that was once Gina's probably wore her out.)

....oh but I have to add one more Katrina note: day 4 of "solid" food, and she totally gets it now! She opens her mouth for it, and is quickly learning to "chew" and swallow. In fact, the last 3 times (out of a total of 5), she's finished everything. I pump a little to mix with cereal, but she's already outpaced my ability (well, willingness) to pump for each of her meals. I cooked some yam for her tonight, tomorrow, it's veggies!

If there is a tomorrow....maybe the world will cave in around me and spare me this brutal, crushing headache.

4/8/07

4/7/07 The Big Bunny Fun Run

I did it!!

I finished the Big Bunny Fun Run, my first 5K race! And ran the whole way!!

I had a major advantage: Sonia, a 2004 & 2006 Mom who's a serious runner and who's been giving me advice all week. I figured I'd see how far I'd get running behind her, and ended up drafting her the whole way. I didn't want her to feel like she had to pace down on my account, so figured I'd just stay in a "zone" (mental and physical) behind her.

Good call. Sonia's so experienced that she runs a good, even pace, and knows how to deal with the jogging stroller. Of course, she was barely out of breath, chatting with her son, while I was panting heavily behind her, hoping to stick it out just a little longer.

Then I realized we were getting close to the end! So I sped up and revealed myself to Sonia, then asked if she sprints the finishes. She said no, but sweetly and supportively suggested I do if I wanted to. I wasn't sure, but she was so encouraging I decided to try! A tactical mistake, as it was too far from the finish and much too long a sprint for me, but I made it!

It was actually harder than I expected. I am so not a runner! My whole body feels the effort now, and not really in a good way. I love exertion and effort, but the muscle stiffening I get from running makes the dancer in me cringe. Perhaps if I'm going to continue finding my inner athlete, I have to start swimming again. It gets me thinking about mini-triathlons....except that my tricky sacro-iliac joint rules out cycling.

But my accomplishment, if you can call it that, was more than matched by Betsy's -- she ran it with a double jogging stroller, and she hadn't even planned to run it! Not easy pushing 45 pounds of children, not to mention the stroller itself, and not having even intended to do it! Betsy's suggested that we try running at Rancho San Antonio before, and I always balked because, I repeat, I am not a runner...but it might be worth trying.

Oh yeah, it didn't occur to me to think about time, even though this was a race! Sonia told me later that I ran it in (under?) 28 minutes. Calibration for the next one....next one?! I am NOT a runner!

Photos below!

One goofy comment about photos, but I hope there are other ladies out there who understand...: I have to admit, I had an odd vanity moment while choosing what to wear. I knew I'd be scrapbooking the pictures, and wanted a nice bright cheery color for the photos. But I absolutely love this "textured muscle tank" from Athleta -- it's light, soft, long, fits great...and it's dark brown. I almost chose a different tank, but then thought: Come ON! I always chooses function over form. The brown tank is perfect.

But later, I got a validation from an unlikely source: my husband. Dave said very sweetly that I looked great, but he'd have liked to see me in a brighter color for this grandiose event. He's right! What am I doing wearing earth tones on Easter?! Such a fashion faux pas. (p.s. note: Athleta seems to have discontinued this tank top; I remember now that I ordered the brown because it was the only color available. Too bad, I LOVE it.)

Now, time for a hot bath.

#276 and co-pilot checked in and ready to go! Errr...does anyone know where we're actually running?





















Helen, me and Betsy before the race, surrounded by our sons. Helen is another 2004 double-boy-Mom (as Sonia, Betsy and I are), but she's such a trained athlete that this was barely a warmup for her. She was gone within seconds of the start.

Gabriel checks out the Big Bunny, which Julian, like many kids, was afraid of.


Katrina and the Bunny.


Surveying the competition.


Stretching nervously while chatting with Helen and Sonia.


Just about to start!


On your mark...get set...GO! (They really say that! With help from an air horn.) And they're off!


Sprinting to the finish line

Me, Betsy and Sonia afterward. We did it!


I'm still not so sure about running, but I definitely liked being part of this event and having such terrific friends to do it with. What fun!

4/7/07