6/30/07 Hail Hail The Gang's all here!

Cousins have arrived! So far no broken bones or hurt feelings, but there's plenty of time for that!

Gabriel and Aidan shake hands. I guess they're too old to be prodded into photo-op hugs anymore. Drat.

Katrina, as predicted, is absolutely loving all the activity, and putting on her best adorable-baby show. Her cousins are pretty interested in her too.

Julian and Remi disobey a DIRECT ORDER not to laugh!

Whew, my miserable dysfunctional utterly inadequate kitchen survived dinner for 10 tonight.

Mom and Steph and I made it to Rancho San Antonio tonight though; I for a run and they for a walk. What a great way to end the evening: stick the Dads with dinner cleanup and kid bedtime and go for a lovely walk/run outside!

6/30/07

6/29/07 Bonne Maman meets Katrina

How many moms do you know send their kids away when Grandma comes to visit?

Me!


Well, here's why. I had planned to put both boys at Tonya's this morning, so Mom and I could settle in and have some peaceful time together and with Katrina.

But today was Wheels Day at Collins CDC, and Gabriel talked about it for days. I just didn't have the heart to tell him he was going to spend the morning with a bunch of toddlers instead of riding his bike around a playground all day. So Gabriel went to Collins CDC.

Julian, meantime, went to Tonya's for the morning as planned, but at the last minute I decided to leave him there for the afternoon too.

I'm glad actually; Mom and I had a great relaxed time today, playing with Katrina and planning the big food challenge for the week. Katrina and Bonne Maman had lots of time to get to know each other, and even though Katrina was on the edgy side for her, she totally came through with lots of cute baby behaviors, smiling, clapping and just being adorable. We had plenty of time with the boys tonight, who were unusually well-behaved. Let's hear it for family visits!

6/29/07

6/28/07 Bonne Maman arrives!

Spent all day running around frantically, shopping, cleaning up, preparing. This included some unexpected, but long, long overdue home improvement. Why I waited over 7 years before getting a paper towel holder that doesn't fall down all the time is beyond me.

Grrrh. Last week, our G.C.'s tile contractor and I haggled on the phone about when he'd come here to investigate the leak from our new bathroom, one that's resulted in a foot-square hole in the downstairs ceiling. Thursday, today, was the only day we could find a time that worked for both of us. Despite family arrivals today, I agreed only because he said "First thing -- 8am, OK?" First thing. His words. First thing, 8am. No mean feat with three young children, but we were ready at 8am. First thing.

So, at 8:45am, no tile contractor. That also meant, no nap, no making phone calls, no going out shopping, no getting involved in any uninterruptable task while waiting -- a lot to ask during child-free time.

I called him, containing my irritation.

"Where are you?"
"Umm, Marin County," he answered. (Marin freakin' County?!)
"You were supposed to be here at 8am!"
"I'm travelling down to the Peninsula now, I'll probably get around there around..."
"When did you expect to come here today?"
"I was going to call you today to see when you were free."

Oh yeah RIGHT!! Like I'd ever in a million years agree to that!

Translation: "You're a completely insignificant piece of sh*t who I want nothing to do with and who must lie in wait for me and be at the ready when I'm done picking my nose and scratching my ass." ARGH! That's it, from now on, any appointment I make with a contractor will be preceded with a verifying/reminding phone call the day before.

Miraculously, I got the sunroom/closet/guest room together for Mom's arrival tonight, instants before darting out to the airport. Cleaning, sorting, preparing linens, lights, getting shelves in place. I don't know what I'd have done if her flight hadn't been delayed. Well, yes I do. The piles wouldn't be as neat, but I'd still have been on time to pick her up, ready or not.

I'll bet contractors are never, ever asked to pick up people at airports.

6/28/07

6/27/07 Katrina claps

Katrina has a new trick: clapping her hands together. And really clapping, like, applause!

Naturally, this feat delights her to no end. But no one moreso than her brothers, who are absolutely thrilled that she joins in a clapping game (a little too thrilled -- they can get very carried away and it quickly turns annoying).





She's also really, really working on crawling. Mostly, she slides backward on her rear end, but she's juuust starting to rock, just starting to look like she's working on getting to all fours, and is really reaching out to get things. This results in more than a few face-plants, but such is an occupational hazard of babyhood.


She had a grand time playing with this adorable smiley baby in the mirror today.



Watch out brothers -- you'd better listen to Mom and not leave stuff lying around, 'cause grabby-baby-paws are on their way! She's sneaking up!

More comments today at swim class about the red hair. When wet in the sunlight, it really does look reddish. Not so much indoors though.





Is it encoded in contractors' DNA not to inform people of upcoming plans until the last minute? About the last thing I need in life is a phone call "guess what! we're coming today!" at 8:15am, when Gabriel has to get to Collins CDC by 8:30am for a field trip and I'm packing his lunch, Katrina needs breakfast, and Julian is kicking his pee-soaked Pull-Up to the ceiling. And then have him arrive right as I need to pack everyone up to leave for swim class. It's not fair to our contractor's main #1 carpenter either, who is a really, really good guy and I want to make his job as easy as possible. But I need a little notice to make sure his path is free of pee-soaked Pull-Ups.

Tomorrow night, I pick up Bonne Maman from the airport! Wouldn't it be an astounding treat if she sees Katrina's first crawling steps!

6/27/07

Julian's stats

My miserable Monday was so consumed with minute-by-minute survival that I forgot to mention that Julian's 3-1/2 year old appointment was that day. Perhaps the fact that I had to bring Gabriel too, and it was smack dab at baby's naptime, added to the forgettableness of it all.

But then, there's Julian. Healthy as a little horse. Good eyesight, good motor skills, good cognitive/language/social skills, nothing obviously wrong.

His stats:

Height: 38" (40 %ile, though later amended to "between 25th and 40th")
Weight: 31-1/2 lbs (40 %ile)
BP: 96/54 (taken by the cutest little sleeve!)

I had a Good Mommy Moment when the doc asked about his eating, though really, I can't take too much credit since Julian has always been a very good eater. She asked what he likes for vegetables, and he said "green beans," and for fruit, he said "strawberries." She was very impressed to hear that both boys eat fish, and real fish, not just kid-fish-sticks fish (though they have that too sometimes).

I like boring medical records. Keep it up, Julian!

the reaction

A bad trend has emerged. The night after a day that I've kicked a headache, even if the headache is still lingering, I am filled with spinning mental energy. Too antsy to read or watch TV. So here I sit in the office, at 2am, doing chores that should be supreme sleep-inducers -- putting away tax information, preparing investment account changes, moving money around to cover our still-hefty remodeling bills. Worse than counting sheep. And I only started the office chores to help along the half-Ambien I took in the hopes of shutting my mind down. No good.

Well, I'll get something out of this, which is post about something much more interesting, as anything is more interesting than this, especially if it's kid-related.

6/26/07 A clean-up day

Gabriel started a new swim class today! At a new swim school, DACA. Actually, it's not new; I took him there once, before they moved, when he was a baby, and hated it.

But now, it's great. It's closeby, the pools are well set up for teaching kids and letting parents watch, and the office seems to be pretty organized (even though I'm not crazy about the registration system, which involves leaving a voicemail and they call you back), they have a deck supervisor to answer questions, direct people to classes, get things, and keep things moving along. I guess some people must be pretty fond of cramming things in, because DACA starts swim lessons at, are you sitting down, 6:30 AM!! Though some might argue that Gabriel's 8:30am lesson is pushing it.

Gabriel liked his lesson, partly because the water was warm. He also really liked the basketball at the end, in which the teacher holds a hoop on a floating stand, and the kids throw a basket into it. I'm not sure what this has to do with swimming, but all the kids I saw in classes liked it.

I had the day "off" from kids today, other than Gabriel's swim lesson (and I really enjoy spending that time alone with him; he was so happy too). Good thing, because I was still rattled from a scary day yesterday. That's how bad I felt: it was downright frightening. I guess I've never had a migraine and a fever at the same time -- not a good combination.

But, going to bed at essentially 8pm, after resting from 2pm on except for only the most critical childcare tasks, and sleeping all night, seems to have taken care of it. I was still weak and tired this morning, so much so that I was planning to skip ballet class (a new Tuesday staple). But at the last minute I decided to go, mostly because the headache wasn't gone, and getting out and doing things can really help. (Serious migraine sufferers can't go out at all, so I'm grateful.) After pushing myself through class, a sound nap and something to eat (after not a bite yesterday), had me good to go. In fact, I got a fair amount done this afternoon. But at dinnertime, I could feel the headache creeping back, and it's barely holding at bay now. That actually scares me now, instead of making me mad.

One thing I did today was sort through my very oldest boxes of junk, the few that survived a flood in the basement of our house in Brooklyn. Most of it was "why on earth did I keep this?" stuff, but when I stored it, I hadn't led nearly as much of a life yet. Still, I came across a few priceless items. One was an autobiography, amusing for someone still in high school, but it must have been an assignment from my English teacher, Frank McCourt. I also found some written thoughts about my future as a writer, and mentioned again encouragement from Mr. McCourt.

(If the name sounds familiar, that's because Frank McCourt later wrote a memoir about his childhood in Ireland, called Angela's Ashes, which won the Pulitzer Prize and was made into a poor movie. But I'll always remember him for asking the class, "So. What did you have for dinner last night?")


Another funny thing I found was a bunch of folded-up notes that I inexplicably kept, several of thousands I passed with my friends in high school, often during class, and most often with my friend Liza. Nowadays, kids text-message each other instead of passing notes, but oh, how much must be lost in the medium -- the goofy handwriting, the little doodles, drawings and symbols, the emphases, the playful formatting (like writing the whole note in a spiral), the color of the pens, or even the type of paper (Liza and I had a thing for writing each other notes on graph paper).

I threw away most everything, but kept a few of these notes, as a reminder to myself for when Katrina is in high school of what goes through a teenage girls' mind. Frankly, it's very, very little. I doubt that what goes through teenage boys' mind is sufficient to fill a 3x5 index card. In fact, it probably requires only 3 letters. And you all know which three.

And I sent an amusing sampling of these notes to Liza, who now lives in Minnesota, an environmental attorney whose own daughter who must be 10 or 11 by now. With a letter, hand-written on graph paper.

Fast-forward 25 years....Katrina has learned a few new tricks. She's starting to bang two objects together, taking great delight in the sounds she makes. She's figured out how to push herself backward when she's sitting, sliding on her skinny little rear end. And, I think, she's starting to imitate. She makes this sound and waves her hand, so she started it, but if Gabriel starts it, then she'll do it too.

I captured a bit of all three of them doing this (see Katrina in the mirror). The first of a chorus!




Katrina's in good hands at Tonya's, as Tonya's daughters like holding babies. When I arrived to pick them up today, Tonya's middle daughter was holding Katrina, and they were both having a grand time. Julian was playing out front with Tonya's younger daughter, showing off his artwork for the day.

Oh heaven help me, I can feel this headache coming back. When I die, I want my brain donated to migraine research. Let them pick through what's left of it after raising three children, and maybe find what is miswired to cause this cruelty. To think, mine are mild.

6/26/07

6/25/07 Monday Migraine, with a twist

Major migraine today, again. But this time, with so much stomach upset that I didn't want to take the full dosage of Imitrex. Add to that exhaustion, achiness and a 101 temp. I am seriously hating life right now. Lucky me, I get to spend a crucial child-free day tomorrow in bed.

Thank goodness everyone napped this afternoon at the same time, or I'd have been a goner. When Katrina woke up, I checked on Julian, only to find him sitting in his room, clutching Julius the monkey, coloring quietly in his new coloring book. Love floods for my sweet middleborn.

This message brought to you courtesy of a baby who's been sitting and playing with her brothers' gear toys for no less than 40 minutes. As soon as she goes to bed, so will I. Maybe then the sledgehammers crushing my skull will stop.

6/25/07

6/24/07 Ortega Park

I'd seen enough photos and references on friends' blogs about Ortega Park in Sunnyvale that today that I figured it was as good a place as any to take my little bundles. Gabriel was being unbearably pesty at home, showing all the signs of a bored kid, and he needed to get out almost as much as we needed to get him out.


Ortega Park is the closest park to us, and we could in theory walk there, but it's not that nice a walk and would take for-ever with a putzy 3-year-old. However, it's undergone major renovations recently, and is actually a pretty interesting and nice park.

One of the new features is a funky water play area, centered around a giant yellow flower with a crooked stem. There are also poles that spritz water, and fountains that come out of the ground, all on a padded, comfortable surface. I never figured out how to activate the water poles though. I guess they're on a timer, but sometimes it took a really long time for the water to start, and I got squirted enough times that I suspect there's some sort of weight activation.

Anyway, the boys had a great time running around the water. It was a little windy there though, making it cold unless you're in full motion. Julian pooped out pretty quickly and huddled in a towel on the blanket with Katrina, while Gabriel did funny dances standing on a fountain waiting for it to start.



As much as I appreciate Katrina sleeping until 7:30am these days, I'm not liking how it shifts her naps until so late in the day that the afternoon nap ends up being far too short, or, like yesterday, not at all. ~shudder~ -- a baby that doesn't nap. I can't bear the idea. Then again, this baby is pretty much happy and cheerful all the time, nap or not, so it's not so bad.



Gabriel continued to be unbearable at home, and I finally gave him one last warning that one more throwing a track piece into its box, and he was going straight up to bed (which meant NO Thomas video this week, a huge loss). And predictably, he made me carry out that threat. Oh, the howling and screaming as I confiscated his tracks to the garage!! I'm sure our neighbors thought I was beating him to within an inch of his life. And he continued to carry on through the whole curtailed bed-bath process (which I did with his sister happily playing with books sitting on the floor nearby).

But it was crying, not confrontational insult-hurling. Though he cried and cried, he almost seemed relieved. He'd dropped the obnoxious attitude and was sad, instead of defiant. Contrition doesn't come easily in Gabriel-land. I think he was truly very, very tired, and in the end, went right to bed at 6:30pm.


All 3 all day tomorrow. Brace yourself.

6/24/07

6/23/07 Katrina's new habit

Katrina just started a new thing: sticking out her tongue and curling it, practically to her nose sometimes! It's not easy to catch her to photograph it though. Every time I think she can't get any more adorable, she comes up with something.


She's starting to act like she wants to crawl, though hasn't hit upon what to do yet.

The boys had their first swim lesson at the Y today. Gabriel said the water was too cold. And Julian complained the water was too wet.

6/23/07

6/22/07 No-commitment Friday

I was nervous about today -- all three all day. I shouldn't be nervous doing my job!

But, it went great.

First, I took them all to Whole Foods this morning, and got away with it without being asked to leave.

After Katrina's nap, I took them all to my old gym for a weights class, and they all did fine in the gym daycare. There I saw my longtime acquaintance, the marathon runner with her four young children -- she handles all four all day, and that's with a husband who works at home and travels for work a lot. So who am I to complain?

Back at home, I got Julian down for a nap, then Katrina, then came downstairs to find Gabriel asleep on the couch, pillow and blanket and all. So I actually had about half an hour when everyone was asleep.

I took that time to sort through photo albums, as part of my closet-reorganization project. Some needed labelling; others got put in a box for future disassembly. Most have something to do with motorcycle travel and camping.

It was oddly surreal looking through those photos and being in my old life, with my new life (in the form of a just-woke-up rosy, tousled 5-year-old) looking over my shoulder and asking me questions like where the ground stops.

Who am I? Am I the beaten-down, frumpy, scatterbrained, hair-trigger, sullen, slog-through-life suburban housewife mom? Or the brave leather-clad dirt-covered 2-wheeled adventurer tackling a rocky road?

Then....












...and now:


Aw, but look at that adorable baby.

And tonight, Adorable Baby's pesky brothers are on a sleepover, so Dad and I got to sit together and actually talk and play with a crackly, giggly, happy, smiley, charming baby.










It occurs to me that if I were still childless and riding and camping all the time, I might wonder by now what I was missing out on. And as much as I miss my old self, I'm glad I know. And that I'm not missing out on it.

6/22/07

(Photos: Upper: Memorial Day weekend 1999, on a random trail in the Sierras somewhere around Quincy. Lower: 2004 Las Madres picnic, June 9 2007.)

6/21/07 The peanut and peanuts

Today was Katrina's pediatric allergist appointment.

The doc said the hives episode probably wasn't food-related, especially since the suspect food (yogurt) has since been re-introduced with no incident, and also given the length of the episode and how it gradually declined across that 3-1/2 weeks. Hives are an immune response to something, and we'll probably never know what -- just some random viral infection.

Actually, I'd concluded that the rash she had the day before I gave her the first yogurt was unrelated, but now it seems the rash supports the random-infection theory, and the yogurt was the red herring.

But since we were there, we tested her for dairy and peanut reactions. She got 4 pricks on her back, for control (C), histamine (H), peanut (8) and dairy (12). (I am very, very glad her brothers weren't there to see the nurse write on her back -- that'd have give my Magic Marker Monsters all sorts of ideas!!)

And, to my great dismay, she reacted to the peanut, as you can see from the puffy area next to the 8.

The allergist said this doesn't mean she's allergic, but she is predisposed (I wish I could remember his exact words). So, when she's a year old, we'll take her for a blood test, and depending on the outcome of that, we might introduce a "peanut challenge" in the office, if the blood test indicates a high risk of a bad reaction.

Meantime, there's no reason for me not to have peanut butter. He said that small bits of exposure could actually help her desensitize to it, and I recall my sister trying something like that with my food-allergic nephew (though time ultimately was the best solution, to some things). Katrina certainly has had minor contact with peanuts, mostly from peanut-butter-face-finger-smeared brothers giving her kisses when I had the nerve to turn my head. But, other sources say that allergies develop from exposure, rather than immune response developing from exposure. Obviously it's much more complex than that, and not one-size-fits-all. I'm lost.

Katrina was charming as ever, delighting every information-booth staffer, receptionist, nurse and medical technician we talked to. At least two people mistook her for a boy today (blue pants I guess?), so it's not just the girl factor. People just like being smiled at by babies. Actually, people just like being smiled at -- but only babies smile at any random person for no apparent reason.

Even though Katrina was ready for a nap by the time the back-pricking started, she didn't cry. Then I had to entertain her for 15 minutes sitting on the table, without being able to pick her up. Not easy! But, it was. A game of peek-a-boo had her in giggle fits, and the tissue paper covering the table was crinkly and breezy and great to bat at and chew on.

Predictably, she fell asleep in the car on the way to Tonya's, and woke up when I pulled her out of the car at Tonya's, but went right back to sleep in the pack'n'play at Tonya's. Such a darling baby.

I just realized today that our summer schedule doesn't leave me time alone with any of the three. I've really enjoyed the schedule transition that left me alone with Gabriel in the afternoons, actually, and I really wish I had time alone with Katrina. During her naps, I'll have some time alone with Julian on Wednesdays, but that's not quite the same thing. Still, self-centered as I am, what matters the most to me is time alone with just me, which is what our summer schedule is actually centered around. I don't really need all day though...sometime around 2-3pm, I'm ready to see them. I'm really going to like school days.

Betsy put it very well today, regarding having 3 kids: it's not the oldest one, and it's not the baby -- "It's the three-year-old!" Oh man, I hear it! I feel it! I live it! And it hurts!

6/21/07

6/20/07 The diagnoses

Diagnosis tummy: diastasis recti with an umbilical hernia.

Which is how you say in Latin: "Sorry, hon, that pooch is permanent. You done had too many babies."

The glue ("linea alba") that holds your -- not my anymore -- abdominal muscles together is stretched too thin now, and abdominal contents simply push out. The proof of this is when I lie on my back and lift a leg -- a ridge forms through my belly-button. Multiple pregnancies is the culprit, though not everyone who has multiple pregnancies gets it.

The good news: it's a common, harmless condition.

The bad news: no diet, no exercise, no surgery, no therapies, no drugs, no waiting -- absolutely nothing -- will fix it. No matter how thin or fit I ever get, I will always have this fanny pack around my middle.

If there's a silver lining, I guess it's that it happened as late in life as it did, as my expectations for bodily perfection are lower now anyway. I'm seeing my golden years peek on the horizon; I should be glad I've gotten away with what I have so far. But let's just hope low-rise pants stay in style, 'cause waist-buttoning is out for me forever.

Diagnosis back: mild scoliosis.

Not me, Dave. He didn't see a doctor today for any particular diagnosis, he saw one because I insisted and made an appointment for him. He is 40 now, after all. Men are supposed to get checked. Though the curvature in Dave's upper back is obvious, I hadn't noticed before that one shoulder is lower than another, indicating a spinal curvature. He has a vague recollection of hearing something about scoliosis earlier in life (maybe Laura remembers??). Another live-with-it thing, though the doc recommended against jogging. Not that Dave was in any danger of that.

Diagnosis sanity: severely compromised, and unable to withstand any further trauma.

Due to a schedule that hasn't settled yet, it happened this week that I had all three all day today. This, unlike the diastasis recti that ravages my midsection, is not a harmless condition.

Plus the cleaners this morning.

The kind ladies (who I appreciate so, so much), were scrubbing away upstairs smack dab when Katrina needed her morning nap. For the very first time ever in my dubious career as mother, I took my baby to a gym childcare and said, "Put baby to sleep please!" The Y Childwatch ladies, and Katrina, happily obliged. It was a good solution; I got the boys out of my hair, got out of the cleaners' hair, and got in a short workout before Julian's and Katrina's swim class.

Putting Gabriel into the logistical mix shouldn't, on paper, add much to the effort, as he is basically self-sufficient (can open car doors, strap himself in, un/dress himself, etc). However, while he alone doesn't directly cause problems, the effect he has on Julian is overwhelming. Dealing with the boys together at swim class today was an astounding pain in the ass, as they were constantly shouting together, running together, making obnoxious noises together, ignoring me together, being incredibly annoying together.

By the end of the ordeal of getting everyone dressed, I overheard two other mothers saying to each other, "I'm glad I have girls!"

Then I attempted to take everyone to Trader Joe's.

That didn't bode well when one too many unbearably rude insults by Gabriel (I forget what started it, but I do recall being called a liar) made me turn around and smack him, while in the busy parking lot at the Campbell Trader Joe's. I'm sure the numerous observers, who really were just waiting to park or cross the lot, were truly taken with my honed parenting skills. Great.

One of those observers was standing outside Trader Joe's, conducting a survey of some sort. I looked at her apprehensively, awaiting judgement, knowing she'd seen my transgression. But she smiled at me as I kneeled with the boys and reviewed the rules (which Gabriel claimed he didn't have to abide by) before we went into the "grownup place."

That same someone smiled wryly at me again, about 10 minutes later, when I furiously dragged a foul-mouthed protesting 5-year-old boy out of the store with one hand, yanking a puzzled but agreeable baby along for the ride on my hip, strap the kid forcefully into the car, and open the wagon hatch (the car windows were already open).

I don't know if she smiled when I fumed back past her to retrieve my cart, then head straight to the cashier with what I had, even if it didn't include the #1 thing I went there to get.

And then she smiled at me once again, sympathetically, when she saw me emerge about 5 minutes later, groceries in hand, 3-year-old asking plaintively, "Mommy, are you mad at me too?" I wonder if she smiled too at the tears in my eyes.

It's at times like this that I feel the worst for poor innocent Katrina.

At home, Gabriel went straight to his room until lunch was ready, as I needed a serious time-out from his rude defiant behavior. It took me long enough to get things under control in the kitchen that by the time I went up to release him, he'd curled up in bed and gone to sleep. Good.

Gabriel's time in the pokey allowed Julian to play with sidewalk chalk after lunch, unfettered by Gabriel stepping or kicking the chalk, or bossing him around and telling him he's not allowed to scribble. Gabriel ridiculing Julian's drawing bothers me a lot more than Gabriel crushing his chalk, but it's not really a punishable offense. I address Julian instead, talk to him about his drawing, tell him how cool I think it is, and contradict every mean thing Gabriel says.

Nothing short of a miracle occurred when we got home from the TJ's disaster though. Katrina fell asleep in the car on the way home, usually a nightmare for me because then that's IT for her nap. But she didn't wake up as I unstrapped the boys or unloaded the groceries. I gave it a shot -- and was able to transfer her to her crib and she took a long nap from there! A successful transer! A first!

If any evidence is needed to confirm my insanity, after everyone was up, fed and/or snacked, I took the bunch to Target. What a sucker for punishment. Why would I dare, especially when my patience points and good-momma-karma have been completely drained today? Maybe I wanted a chance at redemption, who knows.

But I succeeded. We pulled it off. Gabriel was in a great mood, and mostly talked excitedly as I shopped and mm-hmm'd him as convincingly as I could, about how he was going to build a motorboat and drive the boat to Africa with a purple pickup truck. He wants to live in Africa when he's grown-up. When I asked him what country he'd want to live in, he said, "Lake Tahoe!"

It also helped that Julian, being my only progeny who hadn't napped that afternoon, was rundown and tired, so he rode in the cart for a while. Between the physical barrier of the cart, Julian's lack of energy to get sucked into a game of Make Mom Hate Her Life, and Gabriel's new enthusiasm for shipbuilding and international travel, the trip to Target went very well.

Katrina, as usual, demanded that several other shoppers join her inner circle with her tractor-beam smile.

I went for a run at Rancho San Antonio tonight, late enough to span sunset and the onset of dusk, when all the animals come out. Deer, rabbits, birds...the whole cast of Bambi was there to see me detoxify my mind and body. I had only good, warm thoughts about my children as I puffed along.

I'd promised myself an easy run, but at the last minute detoured onto Mora trail, to avoid running past the Farm twice...I've run that trail before, but not in that direction. EEEP! STE-EEE-EEE-EEP! I had to coach my feet for every next step. But as difficult as that was, it was a single-minded, focused, nose-to-the-grindstone effort...something I really needed after a full day of dealing with my two sons together.

When I got home, I intruded upon a charming scene: Dave and Gabriel were sitting on our bed, reviewing coin-counting. I'd gotten Gabriel a small coin purse today at Target, and he wanted to put his coins into it, and play more adding-up games. He reminded me today that he had to "buy" breakfast, for instance. He insisted on labelling his new coin purse himself, with his full name, including his middle name James.
(Which reminds me, don't let even the most meticulous 5-year-old use a SHARPIE, you know those permanent markers, on the wooden butcher-block counter. But you knew that. Did I? Hel-LO. How long have I been doing this mom thing?! Do I not get it yet?!)

And here I sit, still sticky from my run, still frazzled and guilty from a traumatic day...well, traumatic afternoon...well, traumatic incident...actually, it was really only a traumatic moment, but it dominated my frazzle. Gabriel is overall such a nifty kid...he's just so (darned) persistent and determined and tough-skinned. He makes me so, so mad, and I love him so, so much.

I should be in bed with a hot water bottle on my head instead of typing now. See earlier reference to Diagnosis: sanity.

6/20/07

6/19/07 Great America

Gabriel went on his first field trip today -- a pretty big one for only his second day at Collins CDC! Great America is a huge amusement park in Santa Clara, and it was an all-day event for him. I really wasn't sure how to pack for him, and ended up with all sorts of problems, like his water bottle didn't fit in his backpack's outer mesh bottle pocket, so it got put into his backpack, and leaked all over everything.

The biggest quandary was lunch. The park doesn't allow you to bring in your own food (I'm sure they make exceptions as necessary), so instead, we were instructed to give him $10 - $30 in cash. But that's all the information they gave us, and I didn't realize the problems until the night before. Obvious things like: who carries the money? And how? I'm supposed to hand a $20 bill to a 5-year-old and expect him to make change and keep track of it?

Answer: yes! Sort of.

I found a pouch to transport the money in, and that got added to his backpack. We sent him with $12, and he came back with $2.80 and a lot of chocolate ice cream on his shirt, so somehow, it all worked out. I don't know how though. (One additional hurdle here is that since Dave did the dropoff and pickup, the teacher-parent communication had to pass through the formidable Father Filter, through which only the most salient of information fragments survive.)

So, Gabriel spent all day at a huge amusement park, got hamburger and chocolate ice cream and no doubt other junk food, rode on a roller coaster and other rides, plus his first school bus to get there -- all sorts of exciting stuff!

But the only thing he wanted to talk about was the money. The $2.80 he came home with.

He really wanted to know how much it all added up to. Dave showed him, then I did again, what each coin was, and how many cents it was worth. The concept that one coin could be worth more than another took a few times, but he seemed to accept it, if not understand it. It helped that some coins say how many cents they're worth, though I got a crash course in the US Mint when I discovered that dimes are apparently too small to print "ten cents" on.

Though he had a hard time remembering how much each coin was worth, it wasn't long before he was able to add up simple amounts, like 6 cents or 15 cents.

Then I made up a game that he LOVED: he had to "buy" each part of his dinner. So, green beans cost him 7 cents, rice cost him 16 cents, and chicken cost him 20 cents. For each item, he carefully picked out the right coins, and handed them to me, then I'd put the item on his plate, and put the coins back in his pile. I created a monster, because now he wants to do that for everything. But I also used this little lesson as a segue to suggest that he can earn money for extra jobs!

I've read that you can/should start kids on an allowance as young as 3, which seems way way WAY too young to me. But, Gabriel might be ready for an allowance, in small token amounts, since he's far from making rational spending decisions.

I can't believe it...my firstborn is really truly no longer a preschooler. And now that he's going to a place that's oriented for school-age kids, he's in a brand-new phase of life. I have to admit, I got a little choked up at his pre-K "graduation"...it all seems so significant -- and so exciting and wonderful, really. I just love seeing my firstborn turn into a genuine person.

Now, if only my second-born would drop the obnoxious toddler sh*t. And if only my third-born would stay an innocent, charming, giggly, squeaky, smiley, batting, adorable baby forever.

6/19/07

Julian's lips

I've always thought Julian had the most beautiful mouth, since he was born.

I still think that -- his lips are full, his mouth a beautiful shape. And he is a fantastic kisser, having practiced since he was 7 months old and made kisses all the time. Where did this feature come from? It's not characteristic of anyone in his immediate family.

Today I was doing basic triage on a box of random old photos from my Dad's family, and came across an old army photo of my grandfather, who we knew as Daddy Jay. Well, referred to as Daddy Jay -- my only memory of him was attending his funeral in Boston when I was about 5. What little we know of Daddy Jay was that he was a civil engineer, a career military man (Army Corps of Engineers, I think?), and attended but didn't graduate from MIT. My father used to tell us fantastic stories of Daddy's Jay's exploits -- discovering the North Pole and the Equator, for instance (we bought this for years!).

But who knew that a piece of Daddy Jay would show up decades after he passed.


Look at those puckers. Is there any doubt that Julian is his great-grandson?!

I'm still searching our ancestry for an explanation for Gabriel.

6/18/07 Happy baby

Just to complete the record, the Father's Day photo gifts.



But what better Father's Day gift than a happy, charming, delightful, fun baby? Today Katrina was in fabulous form, outdoing herself being outrageously, relentlessly funny and sweet.

And, I believe, she's officially sleeping through the night, if a full week counts. Today she woke up at 8am!! It helps when her brothers don't make a huge ruckus in front of her door at 6am (or worse, at 5:30am as they did, ironically, on Father's Day). I've had to put her back to bed a few times, like last night at 1:30am, when she coughed herself awake, but I don't count that. When that happens, I pick her up, sniff for diaper stinkers, hold her and see if the cuddle-drought continues (it does), put her back down, and hand her a dry corner of her favorite sucking blanket. And, she goes right back to sleep. Goooood baby.

Still no signs of crawling, but she's trying to reach farther out. I guess that's a start, though she gets stuck sometimes.

This joy made up for a lot today. First, I had a horrible headache again -- was I really in for a 5th Monday in a row of migraines?!

And, I couldn't nap it off this morning, since we had a carpet installer banging on the stairs. I gathered every ounce of energy I had and dragged us all to the Y instead, where Katrina ended up napping. I guess that was just as well, since no one was going to nap at home with that racket going on.

Later, our remodeling plumber showed up because of a wonderful new leak downstairs, from upstairs, which appears to be a tiling/sealing problem instead of a plumbing problem.

I seem to be permanently scarred from our year-long upstairs remodel, because any contractor showing up, no matter how courteous, how on-time, how helpful, or how necessary they are, I resent the intrusion. I know it's not their fault, but I just don't want them there.

Our generic term for contractors are "carpenters," which is how I described the carpet installer today to Julian. For once, the description made sense to Julian: "Oh that makes sense -- the carpenter is installing the carpent!" Thank goodness Julian was cooperative about a nap today. And thank goodness that the brief snooze I was able to get, curtailed by a cough, was enough to get me over the hump and get past a headache without prescription drugs.

Gabriel's first day at Collins CDC went great! Dave dropped him off, and said his new teacher talked right away about getting Gabriel comfortable, helping him transition to a new place...Dave shrugged it all off, as I would have. In fact, I almost forgot to remind Gabriel last night that he was going somewhere new tomorrow. We're so blase about this, because new situations are non-events for him. He adapts so, so easily, or, put another way, he just doesn't seem to care much one way or another. I guess there are advantages to a tough skin. I have to remind myself that the other two might actually need some support, comfort and...what's that other thing they're supposed to get...oh yeah, parenting, in new situations.

Gabriel said it went "mostly well." I pressed him on "mostly," and he related a story that he only had two big Lego blocks, and some other kid had more. So Gabriel said he pointed this out to the other kid and told him it wasn't fair and he should share, and apparently the other kid told him where to go. Gabriel said he told the other kid "Fine, I won't be your friend," and that was it. I'd love to know what the real story is, but I don't doubt that Gabriel made a demand of a bigger, older kid, which other than a few other kindergartners, they all are. I'm glad he's going to get shot down, actually.

Tomorrow he goes on a field trip to Great America, a HUGE amusement park. Thank goodness it's them and not me!

6/18/07

6/17/07 Father's Day

Lucky me! I got photos of Dave and the whole bunch today.






















Lucky Dave! He got a photo of me and the whole bunch, framed, to put in his office.

Lucky kids! They got to run in the fountains this afternoon.

Lucky baby! All this new stuff to look at, and new people to beam smiles at.

(Notice her brothers in the background, preparing an assault on the hapless water towers.)




(yeah, I'm pooped too.)

6/17/07

6/16/07 Gabriel crashes

Ouch! Dave took the boys to Varian park today for bicycling. Dave didn't see it happen, but Gabriel crashed hard, scraping both elbows and one knee pretty well. He even cried.

But that wasn't the worst thing that happened. Apparently, there are some thorns on the ground there, off the pavement, where Gabriel went exploring at Dave's suggestion. Said thorns put multiple punctures in both of Gabriel's tires. Dave spent the rest of the day finding a bike shop that was open and had what he needed to replace the innertubes, plus add a protective layer in, then fixing the tires. What a dad.

Though I'm feeling serious time pressure to finish my "closet" project, I pretty much expected that filling my car's gas tank up would be my major accomplishment for the day. But, incredibly, I made serious headway on my project this afternoon.

This was largely because Julian was absolutely unbearable when Dave returned from the park with Gabriel's wounded bicycle, so as troublesome as he was, I insisted on getting him down for a nap. I'm sorry to say this required two smart smacks, at separate times, to get him to cooperate, as every step of the way, and I do mean EVERY step (all 13 of them leading to the upstairs) required a warning, repeat, countdown, etc. I'm sorry, Supernanny, but breaking him out of his obnoxious resistance is worth the psychological damage being smacked might do to him. Besides, what about my emotional health? It's far better for both of us to yank him out of brat mode, then get on with the much more pleasant business of reading a story! (And thank goodness he can be yanked out of it, as that was not the case with his stubborn brother.) We are going to seriously celebrate when Julian turns 4. Unfortunately, we have another six months of 3 to endure.

So, I got Julian down, and he slept soundly for 4 hours until Dave woke him up. Katrina then took a nap too, leaving me with this astounding time windfall to build Shelves and organize Stuff and throw away Junk.

Katrina continues to show the world just how wonderful babies can be. She eats well, naps well, goes down for naps and bedtime easy as pie, she's been sleeping through the night for a week now (WHEEE-HAWWWW!!), she makes the most adorable "ba-ba-ba ma-ma-ma" sounds, she sits and plays just wonderfully for a long time, she beams at people in stores, cocking her head in play, almost demanding that they join her little game. She's completely irresistable.

After a huge sushi dinner at Midori tonight, it was time to put kids to bed. Thanks to it being close to the longest daylight day of the year, I had enough time to go out and run. I really didn't want to, feeling tired and slow after a big dinner. Compulsively, I forced myself, fantasizing about oatmeal-raisin cookies on the way. After a slow, grumpy start, the endorphins kicked in, and I had a great run. I took a route that doesn't have a lot of steep uphills, and what a difference that makes! (Parking -> Farm -> Rogue Valley -> Ravensbury -> Chamise -> Rogue Valley -> Farm -> Coyote -> Parking). Mind clear, body strong -- what a nice change from my usual dragged-out-mom feeling. And back to that first thing tomorrow.

6/16/07

6/15/07 Gabriel's last day at Kids Inc.

Gabriel graduated from pre-K yesterday!

I was really impressed with the effort Mrs. Rosie put into the whole graduation cermony. The kids had been rehearsing for weeks.

First, the kids filed out in procession, wearing caps and gowns, to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance, of course.

Then they sat in their chairs, and Mrs. Rosie spoke for a few minutes.



Just as Mrs. Rosie was about to start the music for a song, I was a little appalled to see one mom break ranks from the audience and cross the "stage" to straighten her daughter's cap, fussing to get her bangs under the cap. Incredibly, this rude interruption somehow invited other parents to do the same!! I mean, really! Finally Mrs. Rosie gently nudged them away with, "OK, we're going to start the song now..."

Then they all sang a song about the sun, waving a little sun they'd each made out of a paper plate.


Then each graduate came up and read a few lines from a nursery rhyme into the mike (a short clip of Gabriel reading is in yesterday's post).

Then they each got a balloon and they all let them go at one time, cheering, to say goodbye to preschool.

Then they each filed up, one by one, to collect their diplomas.

And then they all posed for photos before filing back inside to the classroom, where we collected a bound scrapbook with various artwork and photos collected across the whole year, a necklace they'd each made with their names, and a wrapped gift. Wow!


Somehow, the director of the school got caught with a dead car, and wasn't there -- she really was the one who should have caught the parents' attention to give a big public thank-you to the teacher. She really deserved it. (I made an attempt once we were all back in the classroom, but everyone was milling around, so it was hard.) I'm glad I got Gabriel to make a card for Mrs. Rosie though. Really, very nicely done. I have mixed feelings about Kids Inc; the facility/building is really poor, but the pre-K teacher is great. That makes up for a lot.


After the ceremony, Gabriel asked Pranav to sign his autograph book (part of the scrapbook), and Pranav's mother suggested they pose for a photo together. Apparently these two have become friends, though Gabriel rarely talks about other kids at school. Unfortunately, Pranav isn't going to Gabriel's same elementary school next year.



During the ceremony, I was a little concerned about how Katrina would be, as evenings are always iffy for babies. But, silly me, I underestimated her again. She had a grand time, absolutely beside herself at all this new activity and people to see. Quite the little social butterfly.


Julian, very typically, was entranced, watching quietly with wide eyes and open mouth, soaking it all in with his usual reserve. But I wouldn't be surprised if months from now, he related some incident or thing he observed during the ceremony. He surprises me more and more often with something I thought of as so small and insignificant, but he remembers. This is much much more like his cousin than his brother.

As for today...I had an OB appointment, so Julian and Katrina went to Tonya's this morning, as Gabriel had his last morning at Kids Inc. Whatever's bothering my tummy really is tummy -- good news, I guess, since I'm seeing a gastroenterologist next week.

I had the afternoon alone with all 3 kids, which in some ways is getting harder than it was, but in other ways it's easier too. It really all depends on what the boys are doing. If they get involved in something new, I'm in great shape. But if not, and Julian doesn't take a nap....ugh. Then it's nonstop ordering them to quit bothering Katrina, stop squeaking a toy in her ear, take your stinky foot out of her face, give her the toys back, no more patting her head, don't grab her hands, OK that's enough, go into the living room, go into the living room right now, go into the living room RIGHT NOW....~EXPLODE~ RIGHT NOW! NOW!! >> N O W !! << Then comes the name-calling, insult-hurling, threats, claims that they don't have to do what I say, punching chairs, throwing sandals...and it all goes downhill from there.

Motorcycles and neighbors' backyard pools have been described as "attractive nuisance" hazards to kids. Well, so is an adorable baby sister. Who completely undermines my efforts by beaming and laughing at her brothers.

I'm FINE with them playing with her, and I let a lot slip -- she leads a tough life, I know that, and I really don't think I'm high on the overprotective scale. But I'm never sure when they're going to go too far, like when I caught Julian bouncing her finger between his teeth yesterday, or when I see Gabriel's filthy fingers doing a spider walk over her eyes, or when Julian "pretends" to put Scotch tape on her face.

Today Gabriel asked Dave how many hours were in a year. Dave said he didn't know, we'd have to calculate it. So now, Gabriel is ALL into "calculating" : "let's calculate, Dad!" I don't really think he knows what it means exactly, but he thinks it's cool.

6/15/07