1/5/08 The Party

Another wet, windy, miserable day! I love it.

I took The Three to the Y this morning, where one Childwatch lady exclaimed at just how well Katrina walks when she's pushing something around. Yeah, no kidding! She's 15 months old today. It's time, girl!

Then I took Julian to a little birthday party for one of his buddies from Tonya's. I thought it'd be nice to have some time alone with him, but mostly, I yakked with other moms while he played with the birthday boy (who refused to join the group for photos). I was struck by how the one girl there was so calm and quiet, and stuck close to her mother. It was fun, and Julian had a great time.

I'm mad at his friend Kyan's mom though, because she and her family are moving to San Diego this summer (that's Kyan in the orange jacket next to Julian). Not only am I going to miss her, but it sounds like paradise down there! Julian loves Kyan's mom, always giving her hugs and kisses, and he talked all the way back from this party about how he can't wait for Kyan's party. Kyan is a really sweet little boy; when he was a baby he'd crawl right up to me and sit in my lap, and I fell permanently in love with him.

Katrina had just gotten up from a nap when we got back, and she was an absolute disaster. I've only ever seen any of my babies in a state this bad a few times, and they were always sick. I have no idea what's wrong, though the recent slight fevers make an ear infection suspicious, though she showed no other signs of one.

And when she's unhappy, she is downright violent, flailing both arms at me with all the might her tiny limbs can muster. I tried taking her for a drive, since usually that busts her out of tantrums (oh god, can I use that word already?! aghh!), but she cried and screamed the whole way. I abandoned my plan and took her home -- it was too nasty to be out driving anyway.

Still having no idea what to do, and tiring of the relentless abuse, I gave her some Motrin, then let her suck water out of the dropper again and again. Anything for a few minutes' break from the crying! Then I took her into her room to get her satin blankie, just to comfort her, but she practically lunged for the crib. OK, whatever! I put her down, and she was calm, if not entirely quiet, for about two hours.

Then she was great the rest of the evening, and ate five containers of leftovers I had in the fridge as MREs* for her (mashed potatoes and broccoli, butternut squash, cream of wheat with banana, spaghetti, couscous and spinach, then yogurt).

It was interesting talking to the mom of the one girl at the party today. She mentioned that she had to get home, because her husband couldn't put their 2-year-old down for naps; and she'd also mentioned that her older daughter, who's almost 5, gets up at 4 or 5AM, which means mom is up too. By that measure, I'm really spoiled: the boys get up and usually don't bother us (though they've been waking Katrina, which is almost the same thing); and since 4 months old, anyone can put Katrina down.

It makes me think back to all the guilt that Dr. Sears and Mothering magazine lay on me about rocking and nursing babies to sleep -- what if my first baby had been like Katrina and just didn't do that? And frankly, doing those things with the first baby had lots of nice warm moments, but on balance, my memories of the whole sleep thing are painful almost to the point of bitterness. For every warm sweet "bonding" moment, there were hours of pacing a crying tired baby around in the middle of the night, and months of frustrating chronic sleep deprivation. I know it works well for some families -- certainly co-sleeping and no cribs and nursing to sleep did for my sister's family -- but next time a new mom expresses any angst about their baby learning to sleep on their own through some carefully monitored crying, I'll be all for it. I reject the guilt! And so does ornery Katrina, who now actually laughs sometimes when we walk in her room at naptime, thrilled to be lying down with her blankie.

Another event: we made to 15 months, but that's it. I'm done nursing. No more going through the motions; Katrina's hardly nursed for weeks now. I guess I'm supposed to feel sad about it, but now I'm wondering why I didn't stop this farce a long time ago. Another minor source of anxiety and conflict gone! Life improves step by step! And speaking of improving life step by step....!

1/5/08

*MRE = "meals ready to eat", for military troops

1/4/08 The Storm

Nasty, nasty day! Perfect to curl up in front of a fire and read a book. Yeah, right. Gabriel's field trip was cancelled, alleviating my fear-visions of hearing about a school bus full of young children blown over in the storm....shudder.

I left work early and went home and engaged in some therapeutic scrapbooking (among other things). Cheaper than Prozac! Hmm, maybe not, this is scrapbooking we're talking about. I've been feeling a powerful urge to document and create photo memories lately; it comes in waves.

Then I braved the storm to go rescue my exceedingly silly daughter, who was in a terrific mood. Since it's Friday, normally I'd ask Melissa to bring her home, but I couldn't in good conscience ask Melissa to drive in this mess. She happily gobbled down some of Gavin's Favorite Turkey Burgers, making her signature guttural dinosaur sound when she threw a few pieces just for fun.

Great evening until a piercing, ear-splitting shriek from Julian triggered some nasty spears of pain in my head, a double earache, and a residual pounding headache. That kid...the best migraine-trigger there is (though I've been migraine-free for two months!!). I was completely ready to throw him outside into the storm if he did that again. Man!

Julian did have to go outside to take his shoes off, since they're always full of sand from Kids Inc. Dave said he should take them off on the back deck, since then the sand falls through the cracks. Gabriel piped in, earnestly and urgently, "No! Those aren't cracks -- it was built that way!"

1/4/08

1/3/08 Back to it

Not so bad today. I thought it'd be a lot worse, though I missed Katrina.

When I picked her up, she was fussy and clingy, hands warm. At home, checked her: another slight temp! Depending on she's doing, Melissa said it was OK to bring her there tomorrow, if she's only a little under the weather.

Incredibly, it took me only an hour and 5 minutes to do the big pickup runaround today. And that's with rain, which notoriously slows down traffic.

Back at home, after a few bites of dinner, she pulled it together to play on this chair, standing up out of it -- then she took a step or two! Or was it just catching her balance from a stumble? In any case, looks like she'll make it to 15 months old and still be squarely a crawler.

Gabriel, for all his nonsense about not wanting to go to CDC Camp, had a great time at their field trip to the Tech Museum today. "It was awesome!" he said. It must have been, because he even told us about a few things he did there. He liked the earthquake simulator the best.







Snap Circuits continue to be the main driving force in his life at home. He's gone through most of the circuits in the book, and now he's trying to make up his own, and loves talking about them. He even puts them away when he's done because he doesn't want Katrina to get into them.

(I shamelessly play the Baby Card on the boys: "You'd better put that way, or Katrina will get into it!")

Julian has found new pleasure in being the First one to -- get this -- set the table! For the past week, Julian has set out the placemats and napkins and forks for dinner. I don't have the energy yet to make up chore charts and enforce them (not with Katrina demanding every scrap of spare attention as I'm preparing dinner), but I am making progress in getting the boys used to the idea that they have daily jobs. And not ones that earn them treats or privileges, though treats and privileges will be taken away if they don't do their chores (this is a family, not a democracy). In any case, for the moment, Julian is working for praise, and he can have all of that he wants.

Is it really Friday already tomorrow? Yay!

1/3/08

1/2/08 The Sick Day

Oh brother, what a night. I haven't had one like that since Gabriel was a baby.

I thought Katrina would be the problem, though her temperature was gone by the time she went to bed. But it was Julian who kept getting up and saying his tummy hurt, and then he'd run to the toilet and prepare to throw up. Then he'd practically fall over from sleepiness, and then trot anxiously back to bed. I'd stay with him in the bathroom, then tuck him back into bed, and a few times stayed with him in his room until he settled down. Repeat this scenario about 15 times, resulting in less than an hours' consecutive sleep for me. At one point, he complained that his ear hurt too.

Then around 3:30am, Katrina woke up. She was making happy-chatty noises, but I was so on the alert for Julian that any sound had me springing out of bed. She woke up twice more, once crying at 5:30am. I checked her, found her blankie, and put her back to bed.

Since I'd already resigned myself to skip work today, I slept as late as Katrina would let me, which turned out to be until about 8am. But when Julian woke up after 9am, he seemed to have made a full recovery! After a hearty breakfast, he cheerfully went to preschool/daycare.

Gabriel, who slept through the whole thing, went to CDC Camp, which is childcare covering non-school days that are work days for most parents. Except those with sick babies.

What sick baby? Katrina had no temperature today, though she was grouchy. Then again, she's often grouchy anyway. I took her to a lovely park where two other mom friends were going today too, and was all set up to have a nice gabfest, but Katrina had other ideas. She kept crying and pulling on me, wanting to be picked up, then squirming out of my arms.

She had some fun though, showing new interest in her pal Dylan. Aren't they cute....Dylan happily climbed and crawled around this rock and the sand and play structures, being the sweet and happy and easygoing baby he is.


Well, that was the fantasy. This was the reality. I bailed and took Ms. Fuss-Fuss home, where she got a so-so lunch and a nice long nap.


(Indeed, Dylan is the third 3rd-baby I know who fits that 3rd-baby stereotype of being the easiest. I'm waiting for some of these patterns to hold true: "The second is more outgoing and confident and develops sooner because they have to be to keep up with the older sibling." Bzzt. "The third is the most easygoing, go with the flow, because of all the activity around them." Bzzt. "The first..."-- oh, god, never mind.)

But even with a relentlessly demanding baby today, I liked the variety in my day. I liked being outside on a beautiful day. I liked exchanging snippets with other moms between attempts at buoying Katrina's mood. I liked working on small projects a bit at a time, even if the most I actually accomplished was replacing a light bulb. I liked starting dinner early, being able to stop and start and not be on such a critical time path. Katrina's fussiness forbade any momentum-gathering, but the time pressure wasn't there. Dave's fighting a cold, so he came home early and picked up the boys, and we were all sitting to dinner at 6:15pm. And, dinner included a yummy stuffed chicken that took some time to prepare and an hour to roast. Just not possible on work days.

I don't know, grass is greener? Since when do I feel that I should relish every moment of babyhood? Doesn't being pulled in 100 directions and having to drop what I'm doing at any given time drive me crazy? Did I enjoy my full-time-Mom day so much because I know I'm going back to work tomorrow? Or have I really crossed over, truly put my career side behind me?

I mulled over these questions in the back of my head as I got Katrina ready for her bath. She was suddenly in a great mood, so I played with her on our bed for a while. She made up a game in which she puts her head on the bed and looks out between her legs, then sticks her hands out and wiggles her fingers. Then I'd tickle her behind her knees and she'd tumble over laughing. It was so fun to see her giggling and being silly, and I stretched it out as long as I could. Then she crawled onto me, I thought to start a fuss, and I'll be darned if she didn't put her arms on my neck and give me a kiss! If that isn't a big clue to the answer, I don't know what is.

1/2/08

1/1/200*** 8 *** !!

Happy New Year!

And it was. A beautiful crisp day, perfect for BMXing.

For some reason, Julian couldn't be persuaded to ride on the bumps today, though he loved racing up and down the stop-start plateau.
Other bikers and observing Dads were impressed by his ability, since his eensy bike really stands out. Some other kids much older and bigger than him struggled to get up to the top. It doesn't take long for any kid to learn though.

I say observing Dads because Moms watching are about as rare as girls riding the course.

Bigger older kids than Gabriel also have bikes with smaller wheels than Gabriel, and I see those bigger kids hop on and off with great ease, and they need to do that sometimes to handle a sudden stop on a hill. But Gabriel absolutely can't be persuaded to use a smaller bike now.

He can barely touch the ground, but that's not the problem -- he can't easily hop on and off as you need to for BMXing. Ah well, all in good time.

(Anyone who knew me 6 years ago knows that I was an avid motorcyclist and advocate for short beginning riders. In time and over many miles, I overcame the beginner thing, and that's how I overcame the short thing and learned to handle tall motorcycles without having my feet flat on the ground. It brings me back a little to see my sons stretching to reach the ground, though when they're full-grown, they will have the height and strength I never had.)

On the way to the BMX park, I saw a decked-out motorcyclist on a brand-new shiny-red Kawasaki, clearly geared up for a fun ride. I'm almost certain this rider came from the court next to our house, and the rider looked decidedly female (full gear makes it tricky to tell). I think it was our serious-cyclist neighbor three doors down. It makes sense; interest in two-wheeled vehicles often crosses over. My heart sailed and sank all at the same time as I saw her tooling down the street, full of promise and anticipation of the twisty trashy mountain roads ahead. I WANNA GO TOO!

But you have to walk before you can run -- or ride, as the case may be. Katrina practiced being walked around a little, but she seems to have hit a wall with actually doing it herself.


Then again, her reluctance might have been explained by rosy cheeks and a burning forehead after her nap. 101.1 fever, great.

More importantly, her appetite was off and she was obviously uncomfortable and grumpy. Still, she showed no noticeable decline in energy or attitude, but as is typical of her, she reached her limit suddenly and then crashed hard. She was almost screaming when I put her to bed at 6:45pm. No sad whimpers from this one, it's ALL ON.

I can't say I'm entirely heartbroken about not going to work tomorrow, even with a sick baby at home.

1/1/08

12/31/07 New things on New Year's Eve

This morning while I took a nap (really, an extension of nighttime sleep), Dave took The Three to run an errand for me, and while "walking" Katrina outside, he decided to run them on another errand: Katrina's first pair of shoes!

It helps that there's a really good Stride-Rite shoe store in the half-vacant mall nearby which has really good service. So Katrina got some good shoes, unlike the $8 jobbies I always picked in 20 seconds for the boys at Target when they were babies. They said she has "petite" feet (surprise), size 3-1/2W.

They are really cute, and don't seem to hamper her pushing footstools around. When she's supported, she walks really really well - she just doesn't seem to get that she can do it herself.

Hmmm...what happened here? Or rather, who happened here?

One unexpected, believe it or not, side-effect of Katrina's name is that referring to her path of destruction as a "hurricane" just isn't funny. Even "tornado" is pushing it. (Unexpected? what am I, stupid? Hello, Katrina? Well, in my feeble defense, when you're pregnant with what will be an innocent gooey little newborn, it's easy to forget that they'll make messes that are naturally described in storm terms.)

Already breaking the no-shoes-on-beds rule.


Katrina's latest thing is kissing things: Blankets, stuffed animals, pictures of animals in books. Here she is sizing up Julius the monkey, orienting him just so and insisting on eye contact before he gets the ol' smackeroo.

The Kiss (short):


But I accidentally captured a moment I only realized later is interesting, since it's otherwise a boring video. Katrina reaches for a (covered) electrical outlet, and I give her a gentle admonishment. Then she looks right at me, clearly understanding, and bites Julius in protest!

Then she throws herself down on the bed and pretends to be doing something else, but her glance back at the outlet tells you she's playing some sort of game. I don't need this passive-aggressive cr*p already!

It reminds me very vaguely of what is still my all-time favorite video clip, when my nephew Aidan was 23 months old. He's eating cereal, and deliberately tests my sister by banging his spoon on the bowl. Aidan looks right at her and makes certain she's noticed his infraction ("see that?). He knows exactly what she'll do (take the bowl away), and says as much, then even does it for her. It's fascinating. His testing is much more benevolent than Katrina's quiet lashing out, but they both have an element of "oh YEAH?"

(No preview pane on this Quicktime movie, but it works.)

It also strikes me how well he was speaking ("I'm going to see Scout," (their cat)) and how well he was pedalling a tricycle, and he wasn't even two. And so polite!


Katrina loves climbing into the cradle that Grandpa Jim made for Gabriel when he was born. She stands up in and rocks it, which you'd think would really test the stability of a non-walker, but, no problem! She even puts a blanket over her head?! (Ever tried to balance with your eyes closed, or put your head back while standing on your toes on one foot? A dance exercise, and not an easy one -- what you see is very important to your balance.)


Though it looks like she could fall out at any moment (and you can see where I move suddenly to catch her if so.) She also makes a whole lot of cute-baby sounds.

Poor Julian....said he wasn't feeling well at dinner, then lay down on the couch and fell asleep "reading" a book. Pull-Up and straight to bed for him.

Too bad, because Gabriel got to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas on YouTube (separated into chapter 1, chapter 2, and chapter 3). We tried to buy the DVD on Christmas Eve, but, predictably, Borders was out of them. But duh, how retro (DVD? buy?!) -- why didn't we think of YouTube?

Gabriel was full of adorable questions tonight at dinner, as timing worked so that I had some time alone with him in the dining room. He wanted to know why cookies are called cookies, when they're not using in cooking (I didn't get into the finer points of cookie-crumb pie crusts). I told him that in England, they call cookies "biscuits." "Biscuits!" he said with surprise. Then, "What language do they speak in England?"

Since Julian had already gone to bed, I decided it was high time to teach Gabriel to take a shower! Other than having some trouble with the sticky shower faucet and the heavy shampoo bottle, he did great and was an eager student. (When does the modesty switch get flipped for boys? It won't be long before he doesn't want his mommy to see him naked anymore!)

Hmm, I wonder if I'll wake up around midnight to the sound of firecrackers and wonder what that darned noise is about, as happened last year? The sure mark of an old fuddy-duddy parent!

12/31/07

12/30/07 The Wish

This morning, I went to downtown Los Gatos to finally pick up my new running shoes I'd ordered (because I had to special-order size 6-1/2, of course, confirming the World-Wide Conspiracy Against Size 6-1/2). The kids needed to get out, so despite some genuine leaving without Julian, he pulled it together in time to join us (shoeless at first).

As we were driving, Gabriel was playing with Katrina, fawning over her as he often does. Then he said happily, "This is great Mom. I SO wished for a girl. And my wish came true!"

Once I got my running shoes, I couldn't resist a little detour to Williams-Sonoma, which proved to be fruitful for the kids. Samples of freshly-baked lemon-poppyseed muffins, marshmallows and jellybeans went over very well! (In the end, I left without the All-Clad steamer insert and saucepan I'd gone to check out -- the steamer insert looks perfect, but I just don't know where I'm going to store another saucepan.)

Then we checked out the Los Gatos farmer's market, where I got some dates and some Hachiya persimmons for a persimmon-ginger coffee cake recipe I'd like to try. Hachiyas are "persimmon non grata" in grocery stores these days, so they were quite a find. The kids all had a great time running and being strolled along the sidewalks of Los Gatos. Gabriel especially was fascinated to hear that all three of them were born in there (though not at the farmer's market, can you imagine?!).

A cold front moved in fast while we were there, so we hightailed it home and stayed mostly burrowed in for the rest of the day. Except for a short run at Rancho for me; I haven't run for a week, and it really showed. I had a hard time keeping myself going on a 6-mile run with moderate climbing; a far cry from the much tougher and longer route I did last time. Ah well, some days are like that.

It was fun today going out with all three of them on Sunday morning, reminding me of the habit I had with the boys until I was so sick with Katrina's pregnancy. And now, Katrina doesn't need a nap AT 10AM RIGHTNOW like she used to, so it frees up the morning. In fact, in general it seems like she makes big leaps in maturity every day. In some ways, having 3 kids is harder now than it was when she was a baby, but it's more fun too. I think I'll see that multiply when she's old enough to really interact and play and enjoy doing things together with her brothers on their level. Or beyond it!

12/30/07

12/29/07 The Game

Somehow, in the past few weeks, I've heard from three moms that their oldest two children play board games a lot together (coincidentally, all 3 pairs of siblings are brother-sisters).

Gabriel and Julian already play a great deal together, it's hard to imagine how they could play together *more* -- but I've never introduced board games to them. So, I got one for them for Christmas, not anticipating how many others we'd get, but the more games, the better!

I actually wanted the classic Candyland, but The Learning Game didn't have it -- I guess it's not "educational" enough. I got what proved to be a poor substitute, another candy-based game called "The Lollypop Game." Actually, since it is so simplistic, it's a good choice for an introduction to board games -- to learn to take turns, understand the object of a game, the concept of a spinner, that one person wins. Gabriel has played some games at the CDC, so he gets it, but Julian needed some introduction.

Once I played one round with them, they were at it together for over an hour! This was perfect, since it was too rainy and wet for the BMX park today, and they were pretty much stuck indoors. As we all were. Dave and I were feeling sluggish today, and Dave is fighting a cold.

But by 4:30pm, the game was wearing off and the boys were getting punchy. Everyone needed to get out. Some longtime friends of ours were holding a housewarming party tonight in San Francisco, something I resigned myself to missing since our regular sitter is out of town and I hadn't looked into another one in time.

But hmm, on second thought -- a party, at someone's house, in the city! I love excuses to go to San Francisco -- I haven't been there since I was last pregnant. Katrina had woken up from a sound nap around 4pm, so the timing was unusually good. The boys got a hasty dinner, we packed up the Kat'n'kaboodle, and off to the city we went!

To my amazement, at this grownup party in a very small house, everyone we know from our mostly child-free circle who has kids was there, for a total of six girls and three boys. So after a few no-running admonishments, the boys had a fabulous time playing with the other kids. I had a great time poking around our friends' new house, and just being in the city again.

Though Katrina's crawling makes her a serious liability in a crowd, she lights up with so many people around to impress. She insisted on having her hands held to be walked around, and almost let loose into a trot a few times, giggling joyfully. I tried to take a break from this once, but she pried both my hands off my knees and pulled me, insisting on being walked around. Whenever she sees her brothers running together ahead of her, she flails her body and laughs and acts like she's going to jump out of her skin after them. By all means, baby! Walk it! Chase them!

On our way back from the city, she fell asleep in the car -- so soundly that she actually rested her head on my shoulder as I carried her upstairs, and only started to wake up as I entered her room. I didn't even change her clothes, just put her right down with her blankie and she went right back to sleep.

But darnit, I'd meant to get a photo of her today, because she's wearing a stunning purple ribbon-lined sweater from Aunt Laura and Uncle Ryan. Hmm, I guess I can take the photo of it all rumply on her tomorrow morning!

12/29/07

12/28/07 Katrina's mess -- and not

A cold, rainy, windy, decidedly indoor day. I took The Three to the Y, then to Whole Foods, then home for good.

The boys were surprisingly good and calm today, given how they were stuck inside most of the day. They both love Julian's new piano, and have been figuring out how to "read" the music book that comes with it, which has color-coded letters for notes to play simple songs. Gabriel's worked half his way through Old MacDonald, and was very pleased that he didn't even need the music book anymore for that song, so he said. It was fascinating seeing his moment of discovery that music can be memorized.

I expected Julian to be interested in the piano, and he is, but am really surprised by how Gabriel's taken to it. I guess I shouldn't be, since as Betsy wisely observed, "reading" music appeals to his sense of order. So I asked Gabriel about piano lessons , and he said, "you mean like on a Bonne Maman piano?" "Yup," I told him. "Oh!" he said with excitement, "that kind has eighty-eight letters!"

Katrina had only about an hour of inexplicable grouchiness today, a big improvement. I've really been enjoying playing with her on and off today, though of course on her terms. Sometimes she just wants to bop around pushing her little wagon, other times she insists on attention. It's so funny reading her a book -- it's not good enough to sit her on the floor right in front of me, she has to climb up and sit on on my leg, and absolutely cannot be dissauded from that pose. I've liked going in and out of her world numerous times today.

I thought I'd try giving her a bowl and spoon with a highly desirable food in it today (applesauce), with the hopes she'd be more motivated to spoon it herself and not throw the bowl. I called it right on the throwing (for once, she didn't), but the spoon quickly gave way to sucking handfuls of applesauce off her little paws. It was very cute, and I didn't mind the cleanup job at all.

Sometimes if it's close to, but not quite, bathtime and Katrina needs a new diaper, I'll let her go "al fresco" during the in-between time. Dave's gotten her used to sitting on a potty upstairs, so I thought I'd try it downstairs too. She was so funny smiling sitting there that I had to take some pictures.

But she kept putting her hands into the potty, foiling my photo-op, and then I realized why: she went! This is the second time this week. A complete random accident, but that's how it starts. I made a big deal of it, and I don't think she knew why, but she's learning that something about sitting on the potty can be a big deal.

(She really wanted to splash her hands in it, and I did let her touch it once, just so she made the connection, though she protested fiercely when I whisked her to the sink!)

I really, really, really look forward to her walking for a new small reason: then we can lose the snap-at-the-crotch onesies which hang down and get in the way when a baby's bottom is exposed, complicating potty-training.

Walking, potty-ing...I can see these major milestones in the distance, marking our steady march out of babyhood. I feel like I should be sad about that, but I'm not at all. Indeed, it almost frees me to see other babies and be genuinely swept away by how adorable they are and feel no angst whatsoever. It almost gives me a twinge of looking forward to being a grandmother!

12/28/07

12/27/07 Belated Birthday

Finally...Julian got to open all his birthday presents tonight, after a good dinner. He was pretty good about it, appreciating each thing before tearing open the next. I've got to learn to make sure Uncle Ronan's gifts are opened last, because things like a remote-control helicopter are a tough act to follow!

I had a surprisingly good day with all three alone today. This of course was made possible by a trip to the Y and their marvelous Childwatch, but also, Katrina was in much better shape than she's been the past few weeks. Still demanding and outraged if something doesn't go her way, but played very happily for a long time with many things.

I swear, she thinks that robot from Uncle Ronan is a doll, the way she chases it around and almost tries to hug it, right before pushing it over. She's getting downright possessive of it, screeching or scolding her brothers (with this new sharp "DAH!" sound and a pointed finger) if they tried to rescue the hapless thing. Gabriel is very generous with letting her play with it though.

Gabriel is still in Snap Circuit heaven, though he also spent a significant part of today outside. The boys did a lot of downtime playing together today, just what holidays are for.

With misgivings, I pulled this little wagon out for Katrina. She loves it, and right away pushed it all around, then tried to climb on it. She can't quite flatfoot it, but she's in the right household for that! I just have to make sure her noisy big brothers don't get a hold of it, or it'll get rammed into things (note that it's already held together by duct tape).

Rain predicted tomorrow -- we're going back to the Y.

12/27/07

12/26/07 The Birthday Bust

I sort of wished this morning that we had one more day between Christmas and Julian's birthday, just to have a little more breathing room. Turns out, I got that wish. Julian didn't eat well today (never a good sign with him), fell asleep before dinner, and was lethargic after barely touching his plate. He threw up a little before going to bed, so we didn't even attempt present-opening or leftover cake. Poor kid.

We had cleaners coming this morning, and for once, the logistics worked perfectly. Dave took Katrina with him to the airport to drop off Laura and Ryan (sniff!), giving
me the crucial time to pick up before the cleaners arrived. Normally it'd take me a few days to recover from Christmas and guests, but I was shocked into doing it in one hour.

While the cleaners were here, Dave took the boys to the BMX park, and I took Katrina to the Y. She held out because of a micro-nap she got in the car on the way to the airport, normally a disaster, but it worked perfectly this time. I got her home when the cleaners were almost done, and after a picnic lunch in my bedroom, she took a sound nap.

She even had some happy gurgly moments this afternoon, an increasing rarity in Katrina-land.

One highlight was this talking walking flashing robot toy that Uncle Ronan gave Gabriel for Christmas. Julian would have been terrified of this when he was Katrina's age, but she thinks it's funny!


She wanted to play with it, though Julian managed to protect it from her probing little paws. Notice how she screeches at Julian's interference and practically orders him to leave her alone with it!


Gabriel was so sweet and helpful this morning during my mad scramble to pick up clutter and laundry and prepare for the cleaners. He carried stuff up and down the stairs, put things away, and kept asking me what else needed to be done. He was clearly proud when I hugged him and told him I could never have done it without him.

But later, we had a horrible blowout. As usual, they start simply enough, then escalate. This time, I insisted he wash his dirt-coated hands after playing outside, and he made a goofy face at me. I laughed at him, partly because his face was funny, and partly to see if he was being silly or defiant, and hopefully to disarm him if the latter. Bzzt. Wrong answer Mom. Laughing enraged him, and he spit at me, twice, then after being sent to his room for 5 minutes and not allowed to bring his Snap Circuits with him, he swatted his hand toward my face. More insults, more threats, more defiance, more refusal. Every infraction added more minutes, and he still wouldn't go to his room until I threatened to put the Snap Circuits away. Then he slammed the door and throwing stuff at the door was next. Dave and I both went in to warn him against throwing, and Gabriel said to us with bloodchilling venom, "I think it's time you both left!" I did leave, as Katrina was screeching at some or other obstacle downstairs, but he kept it up even after a spanking. Eventually the episode fizzled without him ever backing down. He fell asleep and slept well past his sentence, woke up all sweaty and disoriented, and reached to me for a hug and asked me for a dry shirt like the little boy he is, and that's how it all ended.

Fortunately, these episodes are increasingly infrequent, and we recover from them more quickly, but they're always a stark reminder of how far he'll take things. I'll abandon laughing at him as a defusing strategy though. I was glad we were back to being buds tonight.

Katrina's latest trick is to climb onto a footstool, survey her domain from all fours, then realize she's stuck and scream at the indignity of her predicament. It occurred to me that this common baby trick is a little snapshot into the differences between the personalities of our three children. All three got stuck on top of footstools. Gabriel worked at it until he found his way down. Julian cried. Katrina screams.

Tomorrow, all three all day all alone!

12/26/07

12/25/07 Holiday wrap-up

We had such a wonderful holiday with Laura and Ryan. It was only 4 full days, but they were 4 very full days!

(Blog note: should I go back to previous posts and upgrade them with photos and comments? I'm tempted, but their unusual brevity says something on its own, so I guess I'll fill in the blanks here.)

(Photo note: the drastic difference in photo quality is because Ryan took most of them. Even when he's just snapshotting with a point-and-shoot, the talent and skill shines!)

First, we started off with Julian's birthday party. I kept the invitees to a small group of kids who Julian knows well, either from Tonya's and Las Madres, though I probably could have gotten away with another year of inviting my friends and making it a big yakfest. But the time of year calls for a small, controlled situation (hah), so we only had three other of Julian's peers there, plus siblings.

It worked out really well, despite my dishwasher disaster (it croaked for good the night before, so we had to round up and install a new dishwasher the same day -- and did!). I'd wanted to have some games, but just ran out of time to prepare for them. As usual, it wasn't necessary.


(The only blemish was at the very end, when all the kids were playing outside and one guest started crying that Gabriel had hit him with the bat. I saw Gabriel standing near him in a threatening pose holding the bat, and asked him what happened, and he flat-out said that he had. I didn't wait for the excuse and sent him straight to his room, though of course, there is no "straight" with him. He refused, I sent for Dad to carry him up, and he went spitting and hurling threats at me. I think even the most pacifistic anti-spanker would have wanted to give him a good whack on the rear end for his rude talk!)

A note about the cake: I tried my new Giant Cupcake pan for the first time, and had all sorts of technical problems! Each side of the pan bakes at different rates. The deep side can hold an entire batch of batter by itself, but then puffs out too far. Any detail in the shape of the pan is lost when it's covered by frosting. I'm a supremely amateurish cake decorator (fortunately, a giant cupcake is a goofy idea to begin with, so the lopsidedness randomness actually worked).

Finally, serving it is a challenge. This time, I lopped off the top and served it in slices to the kids, and all the Moms on diets (which is all of us all the time) had the bottom part. But, the giant cupcake did have that OohWow effect on the kids, and that's what I was after.



Four years old! (well, in four days)


We'd had some grand plans for things to do while Laura and Ryan were here, but one has to calibrate "grand." No one is better at relaxing, or better to relax with, than our fabulously well-adjusted in-laws. Much time was spent lounging around in PJs, unshowered, with no particular schedule.

That's my perception of it, though of course in reality, there is very little actual lounging with the kids around. Katrina made sure to keep my stress levels high, my teeth gritted and my nails bitten with her grumpiness and high-maintenance, which fortunately everyone else tuned out. Ryan spent an unprecedented amount of time playing with the boys outside, taking them to the little park down the end of the block, reading with them, playing with them on the floor. Laura and I spent a lot of time in the kitchen, as she indulged my new cooking habit, and I continued to discover the depth of her foodieism and cooking experience.

In the end, we never made it to the light show, ice skating in San Jose, decorating ornaments, making a gingerbread house or gingerbread cookies, making stockings...but since I'm on my 3rd would-be-toddler, I know that those things will be easier to do in future years when we don't have a crawler and a 7PM time bomb.

Of course, some things had to happen. A trip to the BMX park was a must, though a large mud puddle foiled Julian and his tiny wheels.





Hanging with Ryan afterward.


I had a hankering for a good run on Christmas Eve, and thanks to family support, I was able to do so with relative ease-of-mind. It was a beautiful morning, so we talked about all going to Rancho San Antonio for a short hike -- or should have been a short hike. It took a lot of effort to keep Julian going, so we had to stop a lot, but Katrina wouldn't tolerate much of that, so Dave went ahead with her in the jogging stroller. Gabriel happily tottered along the whole way, though he pooped out at the end.

It was fun for me to run, go home, take a shower, and turn right back around to go back to one of my favorite places on earth. I don't walk there often these days, it was nice.

These boys were ON all day, and they were wiped out by the end of the day!



Christmas Day, after a huge breakfast and gift-opening, everyone needed to get OUT. So everyone except Dave (who indulged in a great nap) went down to the little park at the end of our neighborhood.

I actually haven't seen the boys ride on pavement in a while, and was very impressed with Julian especially. I've come to expect a certain skill level from Gabriel, but Julian comes up with new things all the time. He was practicing a "sharp" turn that Ryan encouraged him to do, and even swooped around with his feet on the bar.


Julian doing his "sharp turns":


Incredibly, the boys don't run into each other (often):


Later, the boys ran Ryan down with many rounds (Gabriel kept count) of Hide-and-Seek.



The boys totally scored with gifts! Some wonderful games, some really special books, and musical instruments. Ugh, I shouldn't even try this, because I'm bound to not mention something really special. We gave Gabriel his much-anticipated Snap Circuits though, and he predictably loves them. It made me feel so good when he looked at me and said out of the blue, "Thank you so much for Snap Circuits, Mommy." Boy, when he wants to be sweet (not usually in the Top Ten of his qualities), he does it Gabriel-style: all-out.

The kids hang out. Thanks to Aunt & Uncle distractions, the boys weren't bugging Katrina quite as constantly.




I think this is the first year I've ever made a genuine Christmas dinner. Some poor planning meant some shopping-scrambling, and a huge push in the afternoon to get everything done. It couldn't have happened without Laura doing over half the work, and all the consultation and company-keeping. What fun! Of course, next year I'll make the dessert the day before, and oh yeah, buy a turkey ahead of time, hel-lo! Better planning also would have made up for many of the inadequacies of my kitchen, but conversely, my future new kitchen will make up for my poor planning, since I'll have six burners, two ovens, and a whole lot more space. But nothing will make up for Ryan the Clean Machine -- he is fast, efficient, and resourceful.

(For the record, we brined and roasted a 15-pound turkey, made sage-walnut-fig stuffing, bagged stuffing, steamed cauliflower, spiced carmelized cauliflower, braised leeks, braised Dutch Gold potatoes, spiced cranberry sauce, and maple pecan pie.)

Ahh.

Two years ago, I was filled with Christmas spirit and happily indulged in every cliche I could get my hands on. My youngest child was almost 2, and I was enjoying that "coming up for air" that many Moms experience when shaking off the last bits of baby phase. There was new relief at Gabriel's growing out of his peak difficulty, and of course Julian was an ultra-angelic toddler. I was really able to enjoy them and do holiday things with them. I started to look forward to things like family-wide bicycle rides (not yet anticipating the future role of bicycles in our lives).

But a few weeks later, the bomb dropped, leaving me with a black eye and a new due date. Last Christmas, my memory is of just coming out of being in pain all the time, not sleeping well, still remodeling, and dealing with an unsoothable, if very smiley, moderate-to-high-maintenance baby. And remaining shock that we were back to babies.

This year, perspective set in. Though Katrina has been pretty difficult lately, I know that toddlerhood is around the corner, and kidhood looms not so long beyond that. Based on past experience, I know that all her strong personality traits that I'm steeling myself to endure again in a toddler will manifest themselves in wonderful ways when she's older. I can look at Gabriel and see her future, even as she reflects his past. I still couldn't completely relax and just wallow in holiday spirit this year, and I wish I could have spent more time with the boys, but these are practically nits when I think of all the cheer and joy and fun we all had -- and will have even more of in the future when all three can really participate.

I hope I can get it together to scrapbook this holiday. It was really special.

12/25/07

12/25/07

Merry Christmas!

We woke. We ate. We unwrapped. We went to a park. We ate. A lot. A WHOLE lot.

The pajama party is almost over, Laura and Ryan go home tomorrow. Wah! But tonight we're enjoying some pecan pie and dry mead and wonderful fun warm family time together.

12/25/07

p.s. How easy is it to use an iPhone? Here's Katrina (14-1/2 months old and still not walking) flipping her thumb to peruse photos (though she accidentally enlarges them at one point too).

12/24/07 Twice to Rancho

Busy, fun-filled family day again!

Made breakfast (late, more of a brunch) while Dave and Laura shopped for final Christmas dinner items (including a turkey, doh!).

Went running at Rancho, took on the PG&E trail challenge (it was time to practice wheezing and gasping) again. 10.5 miles, 2000 feet of climbing, beautiful day.

Then we all went for a short hike at Rancho, Katrina in the single jogging stroller. Big mistake, should have brought the double for Julian. Uncle Ryan very accomodating about lots of piggy-backing and carrying.

Up late enjoying dinner, home-made eggnog (my first attempt), and dessert. Undid any caloric karma I gained from my run.

Hung out by the tree doing final gift-wrapping -- Laura is downright talented with ribbons.

Continuing our new family tradition of one unwrapped gift for the boys, so they can come downstairs and find something to play with immediately (headlamp flashlights).

Not enough time to make cookies for Santa. Next year!

12/24/07

12/23/07 Christmas Eve Eve

Fun, relaxed day with Aunt Laura and Uncle Ryan, though you'd never know it by the relentless shouts of laughter from the boys. They all played hard today, including a trip to the muddy BMX park.

I wish I could have been in the action more, but instead took Katrina to REI and to The Learning Game, and stayed home with her during her too-short nap while the rest of the gang was out at the BMX park. She's been grumpy and fussy and edgy, which I chalk up to fighting a sniffle, though really, it just shaves down her already thin tolerance for life's little setbacks. And the minor cold does reduce two basics any almost-toddler needs: sleep and good eating. Uncle Ryan did an outstanding and unprecedented job of entertaining and keeping her happy while I made dinner -- not easy for me or Dave to do, let alone another grownup she doesn't know well. Well, used to not know well.

Lots of photos from today, but I didn't take any of them, and it's too late to upload from Ryan's camera. I can't wait to see them though!

12/23/07

12/22/07 The Party

Fun party for Julian today! thanks so much to the moms for coming on a holiday weekend, we all had such a good time.

Dishwasher croaked for good last night. It couldn't have done it the day before, when Dave and I were both off work, no, it had to wait for out-of-town guests and a party. Miraculously, we bought and had a new dishwasher installed today. Thank GOD Laura and Ryan were here, on all counts.

more later.

12/22/07

12/21/07 Holiday Luncheon

Today Dave and I both took the day off work, so we were able to attend Gabriel's class's holiday luncheon. It was fun, and some of the parents are *fabulous* cooks. I've got to learn to cook Indian food -- with the flavor, but without the hefty spice.

So much to do today, but much of it was spent catching up on a building sleep debt. I went running this morning at Fremont Older, which took a lot of committment and persuasion. It was 36 degrees, and I was in shorts! And it was horribly muddy. But as usual, by the end, I have to persuade myself not to "go the extra mile," as I really needed to get home and get ready for Gabriel's luncheon.

And Julian's party tomorrow, and Laura and Ryan arriving tonight. Busy, and fun!

Last night, Dave had to cycle a circuit breaker to "reboot" our dishwasher, which had decided not to turn on at all until he did that. While I was waiting to find out if he could get it going, I had horrible visions of it breaking and having to scramble today to buy a new dishwasher. It'd be so ironic if it held out all this time only to die a few critical months before being replaced anyway. Thank goodness he got it going. This is so not the time for my dishwasher to croak.*

Back to it, lots of preparing to do! This is so much more work than work, but so much more fun too. The Intensity knob just got cranked on my life.

12/21/07

* my father referred to this writing "technique" as "foreshadowing"...

12/20/07 Last Day of Work

Yay! Today was my last day of work for the year. Tomorrow, Gabriel's class has a special luncheon, and I just couldn't bear to miss it. I wish I felt like I'd accomplished more at work, as my brain is still mired in a cottony fog.

Mom asked me for a photo of Katrina in this beautiful velour pajama she got in France, and a photo of Melissa. Two for one -- since I bring Katrina to Melissa's in her PJs, getting the two together is practically a must.

Melissa was very agreeable about a photo-op, even though it was just 7:15am and she was busy getting her 2nd-grader out of bed and getting ready to run Tonya's daycare today. Which meant I got to pick Katrina up in Cupertino instead of way the heck out in San Jose today, yay!

But doesn't that bright strong color look wonderful on Katrina? I wouldn't have figured that pink-almost-magenta for a strawberry-blonde, but I love it.


I got a rendering of the new kitchen in email from our kitchen designer today!

Even though I was drop-dead exhausted today, this perked me up enough to leave work early and go back to the appliance store again! to work out some more details. I'm getting a little annoyed about asking about the reliability of an appliance brand and getting told that Consumer Reports is biased, wrong, not useful....I've had my issues with CR as well, but criticizing the magazine isn't an acceptable answer.

I wonder if after two weeks at home I'll be itching to rejoin the grownup world again...or not. For now, I'm thrilled.

12/20/07