1/26/08 Stepping out

Katrina is really, really working on walking! Still crawling sometimes, still cruising a lot, still demanding assistance -- but more and more, she's braving the wild blue yonder of open air, taking halting steps, eyes wide open with concentration, fists clenched by her ears. She seems motivated partly by just not wanting to crawl anymore, though she does resort to it when she really wants to get somewhere.


Here she is negotiating a slight downslope.


I took Katrina to Diddam's today, and dared to set her down while I did some quick shopping for party favors. She's never been set free in a store before, so I was curious about her reaction. As if I had to wonder? She didn't waste a moment doing her stiff half-falling walk right out of sight, riveted by the endless new sights and countless shiny colorful things hanging on the walls and bins full of things to play with. No fear, no separation anxiety, no hesitation -- and no compunction about putting up a tremendous fuss when I retrieved her.

Tonight at dinner, a cute little conversation:

Julian: "Mommy, can you tell me about the prince?"
Mom: "What prince?"
Julian: "The prince! You know, the one at Collins."
Mom: "I don't know of any prince there."
Julian (impatient): "Yes, Mommy, the prince!"
Gabriel (contemptuous): "Dude! that's the princ-i-pal!"

Poor Julian didn't quite understand why I was laughing so hard.

1/26/08

1/25/08 The "Shoo-Sheff"

Julian agreed to be my sous-chef for dinner tonight, though he had a little trouble saying it. He started out as my "shoo-sheff," then "soup chef," then finally, something close to "sue sheff."

And he did an admirable job. I must say, I'm getting better and better at finding stuff for him to do. He cut open a bag of french fries (in teeny little bits of course!) and dumped them onto a cookie sheet. Then I had him "paint" slices of zucchini with olive oil (lending a whole new meaning to painting with oil). Then he sprinkled salt on the zucchini, as well as the steak I was grilling. Then he took handfuls of broccoli florets and put them into my (!brand!new!great!) steamer pan. I ran out of jobs appropriate for him by then. The bigger and heavier and more dangerous knife I'm holding, the more both boys want to use it.

My sports medicine podiatrist appointment today was anticlimactic, because my self-diagnosis was correct: tibialis-posterior tendonitis. There's no quick fix for overused tendons, but time, physical therapy, strengthening exercises, gradual re-introduction of use, adjusted insoles, and eventually, custom orthotics, should get me back on the trails again (yay!). The podiatrist himself is a marathoner, and when I briefly described my running ascension, he shook his head and mentioned something about too much too soon. This hit when I told him all my 9+ mile runs had included the PG&E trail, legendary among runners, and not many tackle it in their first 5 months! Those hills by themselves didn't cause the tendonitis, but apparently my tibialis muscle and its tendons weren't in the same condition as the rest of me.

(But really, was I ever in condition to run 10 miles? Mostly, it was angst and a need for accomplishment that pushed me. After all, my first time up the PG&E trail was minutes after I'd dropped my firstborn "baby" off for his first day of kindergarten. If that isn't angst, I don't know what is!)

I was determined not to leave the doctor's office with any unanswered questions, but of course, I still did. But the big ones were answered: how to help it, I can run again, it's not bruised or swollen (not trauma, in other words), swimming and elliptical won't injure or strengthen it, hills are fine, and the odd sensations I feel all around it are normal. My feet do pronate somewhat, nothing unusual, and it's possible that my right leg is a little longer, which would also explain my tricky right sacro-iliac joint. Mostly, I just ran too long too hard too soon.

Running all started with the Big Bunny Fun Run, Cupertino's 5K the day before Easter, so my goal is to rehabilitate until then (early April, over 2 months away), and that will be my first race and re-introduction back into running. I must do it gradually, but it is not going to be easy holding back, 'cause that runner's high thing is powerful stuff!

It rained all day here. I don't say that lightly, because that is a very rare occurrence. It had to be a day when I had a lot of driving to do, too.

But I did one other thing today I'm really excited about, to my surprise. On complete impulse, and based on a little email note Betsy sent the 2006 group, I signed me and Katrina up for Music Together!! I have NO IDEA how on earth I'm going to fit this in, but I almost don't care. I miss doing things like that, and I always liked active ways to spend time together, when I have no other distractions or temptations. And, the teacher is my all-time favorite, and it'll be fun to be in another MT class with Betsy again, we've done this many times over the years. And, most of all, Katrina will probably love it (though I'm not looking forward to when the instruments get put away....) I can't wait until next Thursday! (Oh yeah, Mom, you know how you're going to be all tired from just having flown in the night before....?!)

I've been an aunt for 6 years today!

1/25/08

1/24/08 Peer influence?

Gabriel declared today he no longer wanted sandwiches for lunch. "OK, what would you like?" I asked. "Rice!" he answered.

I picked up Katrina from Tonya's today, and got to talk to her briefly. Or tried through Katrina's screeching. But, Tonya would have none of it: "uh-uh, not OK, nooo screaming." To my amazement, Katrina indeed did stop, and started to pout and cry. OK, I guess it's not too soon to start introducing gentle directions! It didn't last long, but she did respond.

More walking today -- more crawling, and more screaming to be walked, but definitely getting a little more confident. Here's another common thing I'm told that's not true for any of my babies: "Once they start walking, that's it, they're done with crawling within a few days!" Oh, if only. The transition for us has never been less than 6 weeks!

Coffee, cheesecake and chit-chat with friends tonight!

1/24/08

1/23/08 The New Piano

Katrina insisted on being walked out to the car today, and Melissa kindly obliged her. Earlier in the day, Melissa walked her out also, but had to pick her up at one point, and the screaming that ensued had Melissa worried that neighbors would come running! Just as she was telling me about that, it was time to pick Katrina up to put her in the car, and Melissa's neighbors got a repeat.

Seriously, you'd think we were torturing the child for all the fuss she puts up, except that it's angry screaming, not sad or fearful. I know this is a theme I keep pounding in, but it's pretty hard not to think of "demanding SCREECH" when I think of Katrina.

Actually, she's really not crawling much anymore. She still doesn't walk much unsupported either, which doesn't leave her with a whole lot of choiced! She either pushes something in front of her, cruises on walls or furniture, shrieks for assistance, or, in a pinch, gets down on all fours briefly.

Tonight she was pushing a footstool around and was actually running behind it -- not just faster than walking, but clearly a different gait. Didn't anyone tell her that you can't run before you walk?

(At least one of us is running around here. My calves, arches, spots under my anklebones, and every obscure connecting tissue I never knew I had below my knees are all telling me loud and clear to stop everything. I went swimming this morning, and I'm even having doubts about that. What is going on here?!)

We did the Big Reveal tonight! The boys got to see the new piano. It was an even bigger hit than I expected -- all three launched right into a huge fight over it. Gabriel wasted no time getting started, immediately translating his songs from the little piano (whose keys are marked) to the "real" piano. Julian got a turn, and Gabriel was counting minutes until his turn again.


Dave showed him how to play Mary Had A Little Lamb with more than one finger, and it wasn't long before he was playing it smoothly and quickly -- and very, very, VERY proud of himself. You'd think we'd just put him in Oz or something, the way he's acting about this new world of piano playing. I should know better by now than to ever underestimate Gabriel, but he's surprising both of us with his drive and gripping interest. Julian also loves it, but in his calmer and more childlike, playful way.

Katrina....oh my. Well, I could just cut-and-paste from tens of other posts, but I'll have to say it again: she FLIPPED when she saw the piano. Like with the tricycle, her whole body shook as she screamed and waggled every limb madly for it. She was desperate to play on it, and she did get a turn, but the brouhahah picked right back up again when we had to pry her away to give her impatient brothers a turn.

Gabriel's Bonne Maman is visiting next week, and he can't wait to show her what he can play. He asked me today if she can play a really long song without making a mistake, and I smiled at the question as I know she's smiling reading this. I told him that every piano player makes mistakes sometimes, but yes, absolutely, she can play long songs without making mistakes. "Oh!" he said excitedly, "I wonder if she can play chords!" He was beside himself when I told him that not only can she play chords, but she can play them with both hands! (My mother is a skilled pianist who takes lessons and performs and plays for hours every day and even has her own piano studio. So yes, she can play chords.)

Oh my, is Bonne Maman going to have a great time showing her fascinated grandsons how to play. And there's a long precedent for that. (Photo from August 2004, when Julian was 7 months old and Gabriel was 2-1/2.)

Welcome to our world, piano!

1/23/08

1/22/08 The Jam Session

The little piano is becoming an increasing source of contention around here. Katrina's contention, that is.

It's one thing to make the boys take turns, but Katrina will have none of it. She crawls right up to it and screech-orders her brothers away from it, and I have to intervene (reluctantly) and try to distract her. Not easy. Occasionally the boys will release it, then she can bang to her heart's content. But she's learning -- she no longer just bangs on it, and actually uses individual fingers to press the notes.

The screechy demands are coming fast and furious now. Maybe since I'm not subject to them all day, I can be amused by them. No gentle wilting flower, this one.

Gabriel wanted to play "moostick" together (he still can't say "music"!) tonight with me. How could I resist such an invitation? So I put Julian and Katrina to bed first, then instead of a book, we played moostick together. First, we tuned this beautiful Melody Harp that Julian got for Christmas, then I played the harp, following Gabriel playing Happy Birthday on the piano. He got such a kick out of this, and so did I. What a wonderful way to spend time together, I really enjoyed this! We went on for quite a while before I realized it was almost 9pm and way past his bedtime.

Gabriel said this morning he didn't want to go to school, he was tired of it, as though it were soccer or something. Sorry kid, that's your job now.

The pain in my ankles continues, and I haven't even been doing anything to aggravate it. It changes all the time, manifests itself in different ways, at different times of day, in different places. It's fine to walk on, and if it weren't from running, I'd be puzzled what these twinges are about and that would be that. But I know the pain would blow up full-scale if I tried to run at all. I'm getting downright depressed about it, as the injury just keeps getting worse, and I'm terrified I'll have to give up running completely. I was just getting started! Maybe this new fascination would have "run its course," but right now I miss the trails so much it hurts even to look in the direction of the hills. Given how inclined I am to form new interests, I'm sure something will fill the void. Maybe piano.

1/22/08

1/21/08 One - count'em - one - pickup!

Today, ALL THREE went to Melissa's. I dropped off ALL THREE in ONE PLACE, then later, picked up ALL THREE from ONE PLACE. Ah, a taste of what life could be! It was Martin Luther King day, and even Kids Inc was closed, but of course, life goes on in the world of corporate high-tech, so I went to work.

There's a Y about 3 minute from Melissa's, and it's in the group of 6 or so that I can use with my membership, so I went there this morning to get in a little workout before work. I'm not sure this works so well; I have to take a shower afterward, and I'm sleepy and tired all day. Exercise wakes me up later in the day, but not in the dreaded morning! Still, it's nice to have it all over with, and by the time I'm done, traffic has died down and I can get way the heck to the other side of San Jose without too much traffic impediment.

Rainy, windy, cold day today. And poor Melissa, stuck inside with my three! But they all did great. I'd told her to let loose the movies and videos; a rainy day off is the time for that (folks are generally reluctant to do so with kids they know don't watch a lot of TV at home, so I assured her: go for it!). Melissa said Katrina was very feisty and demanding today, and I said, "today?" A lot of it is that she wants to walk, but won't do it herself. And, she's very possessive of certain toys she's come to think of as her own at Melissa's; she protects her property with a shriek reminiscent of a car alarm if heaven forbid a brother comes over to investigate. But she throws the same energy into a giggle fit too, so it balances out.

Back to the grind tomorrow. It's not so bad now, actually. At least, it seems like that today when I only had one -- ONE! -- pickup.

1/21/08

1/20/08 The drizzly park

Katrina was ALL set this morning to raid the pantry. No half-baked plan here.

Another not-so-half-baked plan was to go to the park this morning, for an all-years Las Madres park date. The skies had their own ideas, and drizzled on us for a while, but it cleared up just enough so that we weren't actively getting wet. It was chilly though; I was cold, and increasingly concerned that Katrina was underdressed. The weather kept away most of the moms who'd planned to come, leaving only a few of us die-hards (uh-huh, yeah, that's me, the park die-hard).

Katrina has had very little park time as compared to her brothers, so it was a nice treat -- for me, really! -- to take her on a weekend. She was grouchy before we left, but she "warmed" (brr) right up when we arrived: cruising along stone walls, sitting and playing in sand, looking at the sky. I didn't get a photo of her in the swing with Julian pushing her; probably because swing shots are hard to get, and I was too busy yapping anyway.

Don't be fooled by these photos of her standing, 'cause that's all she was doing: standing. No walking. No crawling, either, which presented a problem when I got tired of holding her hands to walk her around. She still wanted to "walk" and let me -- and the rest of Santa Clara County -- know in no uncertain terms of her disapproval when I dared depart from her prescribed activity.



Meantime, Dylan very happily, and athletically, crawled around the grass, the wood chips, up steps and down slides, rubber hills, stairs, having a grand old time. He's clearly very comfortable with parks, as he goes to them a whole lot more (~guilt~).

I'd have taken more photos of the boys, but they were busy with Gina and Andrew and Gavin and Cassie playing a game of keep-away from the grownups. Any time one of us approached, camera in hand, they'd burst from their "hiding" spot, shrieking with laughter, and run away.

Julian's always glad to play with Cassie, though today he got the bonus of Cassie's dad too, who, for some reason I missed, he followed around like a puppy dog "helping" track down the other kids.


Katrina was ready to go before the boys were, but she discovered this little tree sprig and that bought another 10 minutes or so. She was tired and grouchy and went straight down for a nap when we got home.


Despite the blustery weather, and all the park time, the boys spent the much of afternoon playing out back!

Dave got Gabriel's birthday piano today .... but after talking about it, we decided not to make it a birthday present after all. As it is, certain gifts they must share: books, CDs, DVDs. The latter two especially: you can't *not* share music or a movie. The piano...well, if it's "Gabriel's", does that mean that if Julian takes piano lessons, he has to get one of his own too? What if Gabriel loses interest and Julian doesn't? What about Katrina in a few years? At this premature stage of their musical careers, it doesn't make sense to designate something like a piano as belonging to one child. Pianos in particular are family sorts of instruments. So, I rephrase: we have a new family practice piano, just a little electronic one with 61 keys, but adequate enough to start simple group lessons if the boys are so inclined.

Just for fun, I tried to show Gabriel and Julian how to do a simple scale, and right away their differing personalities revealed themselves. Gabriel resisted instruction, claiming he already knew how, wanting to do it his own way, though he did make a decent effort. Julian, who'd just watched Gabriel's "lesson," was much more open to suggestion, welcomes the guidance, and is more anxious to please. Also, his finger coordination is better; he could summon his 4th and 5th fingers separately, whereas Gabriel's smaller fingers are more like mine (which are practically glued together). But Gabriel is the one banging away at the little piano all the time; he's long since mastered all the songs in the little songbook, and now is experimenting with things like playing a song with two notes in unison with two fingers. Gabriel is more likely to actually practice and take on the hard work of learning an instrument, and might actually listen to guidance from someone other than Mom. With Julian, it's a social event; for Gabriel, it's a technical one.

But this piano fancy has all come about during rainy times that have ruled out BMXing. Let's see if music can survive beautiful weather and the call of the hills!

1/20/08

1/19/08 Boys in a box

Good thing we have all these high-tech expensive toys around to stimulate kids' minds and imaginations. I'd hate to think a simple cardboard box could do the same -- what would the toy and battery manufacturers do with themselves? This cardboard box was a boat, a house, a hiding place, a tunnel, and something for Katrina to shriek at her brothers to shoo them away from today. It was one busy box.

Its final contribution for the day was to provide an incentive for the boys to get undressed quickly, so they could jump out of it and "surprise" Dad, eliminating one step of persuasion to get ready for bath. Not much of a surprise with the nonstop giggling, but, it served its purpose.

It was finally nice, warm, and dry enough for the boys to play outside, inexplicably with a little plastic tricycle. I brought Katrina out, and when she spotted the tricycle, I swear her body started to shake. She THREW herself into a complete fit, wrestling and wriggling and screeching, reaching for the tricycle, as if her life depended on it. I kicked the boys off (sorry), and then she latched onto it like it was her lifeline.

Mostly, she ended up pushing it around in circles, but it wasn't long before she was climbing on and off it herself too, and kicking her legs around in circles as if to pedal (but she's nowhere close to reaching). We had to time the exit carefully, making sure everything was in place before Dave whisked her off into the car.


My goodness, I've seen toddlers want a toy before, but even for Katrina, this was exceptionally insistent. Maybe she will be into BMXing after all!

Dave took her and the boys on an errand, a HazMat day, to drop off some old paint cans at the dump. Easy enough, everyone stays in the car, baby's entertained just by being out, boys never miss a chance to go to the dump (and most importantly, Mom gets a nap).

But then, Dave took all three of them to Target! On a Saturday, no less. I know lots of Moms who'd be nervous about such a venture, but it's just about unheard of for a Dad. He didn't think much of it, and didn't have any problems, the boys were very good "helping" find things. I'll take a little credit for that; the boys are very used to walking and (sort of) behaving themselves, while Katrina hangs in the cart. But mostly, they're just pretty (sort of) good. And Dave -- not bad for a Dad! It's nice to know every so often you're doing something right. I just wish I knew what it was.

The Target trip was to get more booster seats for the boys, since we're about to do the Big Carseat shuffle. Boys in boosters from now on, yay! Katrina will get the Britax Marathon, forward-facing. In two weeks, Gabriel will turn 6 and won't even legally need a booster, but of course he'll still use one, he's such a shrimp. I weighed him a few days ago with just pajamas and Pull-Up (argh) -- 37 pounds. Pathetic!

1/19/08

1/18/08 The Mayhem

Gabriel had school off today, so he went with Katrina to Melissa's today. She brought them both back home in the afternoon, along with her son 7-year-old Jackson, and they stayed for a little while.

Even though Gabriel and Jack had had the whole afternoon together, they hadn't tired of running like crazy, shouting at the top of their lungs, jumping on the furniture, wrestling, and full-out horseplay. Julian joined in the fray, and it was complete, total, ear-splitting chaos for a while, as only boys can make together. Yeah, yeah, girls can play hard too, but piling up, picking each other up, holding each other upside-down, shaking each other, pushing, pulling, racing, grabbing, pouncing, total all-physical rough-housing -- it's all boy. No tea party here. I love it. (It's hard not to imagine wistfully if baby#3 had been a boy too....)

I did get them to calm down briefly by having them sit on the couch and make faces for the camera. Meanwhile, Katrina, not in the slightest bit intimidated by all the rough action around her, pushed herself up to a stand and walked unsteadily across the rug, to the joyful delight of all three boys.


Jackson spends every afternoon with Katrina, and he adores her. He carries her, he plays with her, says he loves her, he's on her all the time -- in fact, Melissa has the same trouble keeping him from bugging her as I do with her brothers. Who knew little boys liked baby girls so much?!

As my poor friends have endured me complaining doggedly about, I just can't let go of this ankle problem. It reminds me of when my right wrist got so painful for a while, from motorcycling and from too much mousing, that I started mousing left-handed, cut back on riding and used a throttle lock whenever I could. It took well over a year before it didn't bother me all the time, and the introduction of right-hand-specific mice got me using the mouse with my right hand again. Persistent, gradual, achy sort of pain from too much use. Tendons.

So some targeted Googling today turned this up: Tibialis Posterior Tendinitis. It, and all articles on it I've found since, describe my ankle troubles to a T. Yeah, T, as in, Tendinitis. And, Tenacious. It's not going to go away easily. But, there are ways to prevent and treat it, and it's going to mean always keeping an eye on it and always backing off when it flares up. Of course, I'll let the doctor diagnose it himself next week, but until then, I'll Treat it Tenderly. I'd rather break my leg! That heals!


Before Melissa and the mayhem arrived, I had a few minutes alone with Julian, who only slightly willingly sort of posed for the camera. I was actually trying to get a good picture of his beautiful pout, but that's only going to happen candidly. Still, I love his smile even more.

It's actually a really bad picture. He's so cute in real life. And that mouth...!

1/18/08

1/17/08 The Upcoming Holiday

Julian announced at dinner tonight that Martha Luther King is coming on Monday.

A little slice of life here while I'm making dinner, though this is calm since I'm able to take video. Katrina trying to horn in on Gabriel's Snap Circuits, and he gently keeps her away, and succeeds in redirecting her attention to a book (I caught this scene at the tail end, she'd been trying for some time):

Hmm, I took that to illustrate her vocal disapproval of the restraint, but now what I really notice is how Gabriel handles her. He's actually smiling the whole time as he puts his body between her and his beloved Snap Circuits to keep her away -- believe me, Julian doesn't get this kind treatment!

Ironically, not much later after I took that video, both the piano and the Snap Circuits -- the two mainstays of entertainment around here -- got angrily confiscated to the garage after escalating through the whole ladder of heads-up/ask/tell/remind/warn/insist/timer/countdown/NOW/THAT'S*IT!* that the boys set the table.

Melissa said Katrina walked a lot more today, yay! It's still mostly a game, but more and more she's using two feet to get from one wall to another, occasionally taking unsupported steps inbetween. Could she be the earliest give-up-crawler of The Three? Oh, please yes!

I "walked" Katrina to get to the car, while she held one finger, and this was a daunting experience for her. She gets tripped up by plants in the way, uneven spots in the pavement, the slope of the driveway. But when I try to pick her up to expedite the process? Screeching, arm-flailing, back-arching, full-body-and-soul protest. NO WAY MOM, I'm gonna do it myself! Hey, I'm all for it.

Another random "accident" in the mini-potty tonight before bath too. A few more and it won't be so random anymore.

I went out for a Mom's Night Out tonight, something I haven't done for a while. That was great, so nice to catch up with other moms and be in the mom world again. Work has proven to be an odd source of calm and stability, but while I need some of that in life, it's never been my hallmark. It's nice to stay in touch with -- maybe even stay in -- the far more chaotic and less predictable kid life. Of course, hanging out with moms when our kids are in bed is the best of both worlds!

1/17/08

1/16/08 Katrina in the bathroom

Sigh. It's time. Every toddler at some point discovers how to flush the toilet and then becomes obsessed and flushes it again and again and again and SCREECHES when you block it or pull them away...ok, maybe not the screeching part. But, it's Katrina's turn for the Flush Phase. The flusher is now her new BFF*. But not before doing some damage to the carefully arranged bathroom cabinet.

In other bathroom news, Katrina objected strongly to being sat on the mini-potty before her bath, just on principle. I grabbed a book, and her energy was instantly plunged into "boo? boo?" and pointing to the strange figures in a Dr. Seuss book and making sounds at them. Then, she looked down, pointed to her tummy, and said, "bee? bee?" Whaddya know, there in the potty was quite a substantial amount of "bee?". Goodie! I tried to praise her, but she was right back to the book. Eventually these random accidents converge into doing it on purpose.

Now if only the boys would stop having not-so-random accidents at night. Or even in their sleep! Yesterday, Julian insisted he was tired of naps. Today, he napped so soundly that he didn't wake up when he had to pee, and he came home in his emergency pants. Sigh.

Left work early and came home to exercise a little, as doing a pretend aerobics class in my living room is the only convenient cardio I can get these days. Too bad I'm such a lousy aerobics choreographer. But even a few minutes of movement does wonders for my mood, though much of my movement took on a suspicious resemblance to running.

Then it took just under an hour to go pick everyone up, and that was with the additional time of getting the boys to go pee (another bathroom reference) before getting into the car. They always have to go when I pick them up, which isn't a problem for the usual 2-minute trip home, but today I picked them up first, then made the trek with them to Melissa's to get Katrina. I didn't want to go into traffic for half an hour with them strapped down and unable to do The Dance to shake it off (until I get tired of the wiggling and order them to go stand in the bathroom) at home as they usually do. But even with that extra step, doing the pickups from home didn't cost me any extra time as compared to doing them from work, and the sanity savings of going home first is huge.

I'm getting too good at this though. Dave got home at 6:45, and I had all three kids fed, kitchen cleaned up, Gabriel had finished his homework, and Dave's dinner was minutes from being on the table -- without touching the kitchen until I walked in the door with all three of them. Pretty soon, we'll start expecting this level of efficiency!

I do find tiny optimizations in the strangest places though. Lately I've been wearing socks to bed, and I like to put on clean ones....so I figure, why not wear the socks I'm going to put on in the morning anyway? That saves me 12.5 seconds of taking off my sleeping-socks and putting on my day-socks!

Now if only I could learn to blog shorter....

1/16/08

*BFF: hip-speak, stands for Best Friend Forever

1/15/08 The Picture

Today when I picked Gabriel up from the CDC, a boy came up to me, steady eye contact the whole way, and handed me a brown paper. On it was a very nice drawing of Henry the engine, and written the name "Gabriel." Apparently this boy, who I've never seen or heard of, drew Gabriel a picture, and made sure it got home by handing it to me! His demeanor was so deliberate, not shy, not proud, just very directed. I made as big a deal of it as I could while Katrina was crawling around on the floor picking up chokables.

So Gabriel decided to repay the boy in kind, by drawing him a train picture. Gabriel put the boy's name on it (asking me how to spell it, as if I'll ever know -- I couldn't even say it!), then signed it "From Gabriel" above his name.

How sweet! Isn't this more the sort of thing little girls do? The kid seemed really, really nice. Gabriel said he was a first-grader.

Today I left work early to go home and tackle the huge stack of To Dos that just can't get done with kids around, or even after they're in bed. I had about an hour and a half (which normally I'd have spent some of at work running), then zipped back into my car for the mad pickup scramble. But it wasn't so mad at all. Even though I was "working" at home -- not paid work, but office sorts of things (not scrapbooking, unfortunately!), having that time at home before the dinner rush made a huge difference. I really, really need that transition time between work and home, it really energizes me and makes me look forward to dealing with the kids and dinner and homework and screechy baby all at the same time. I'll bet it'd be even better if I did some scrapbooking instead of filling out forms, writing checks and making phone calls.

But one phone call I made was to a sports medicine doctor who specializes in podiatry! I can't wait for my appointment next week. It gives me some hope. I notice I have more time during the week now that I'm not running, but so what? I feel like I'm losing touch with Rancho San Antonio -- I was there so often that I'd notice the foliage growing, the new moss spots, the leaves turning, the flowers blooming. It's going to look completely different by the time I get back there! I'll bet the creeks are even flowing at the canyon bottom.

I also made Katrina's 15-month pediatrician appointment today. "How old is the child?" they ask. "Errr....15-1/2 months?" I answer sheepishly. "Don't you mean you want to schedule the 18-month appointment?" "Err...no..." "Didn't she already have her 15-month appointment?" ALRIGHT ALREADY! Not only don't I take my kids to the park on the weekends like Good Moms I know, but I don't even make pediatricians' appointments on time! AGGH!

As if this baby needs to see a doctor. She is the picture of health, bursting with energy and life. BUT STILL NOT WALKING!!!!!!!!!!!! She did boost herself out of the little blue chair tonight and "play" walkies for a few steps, but that was it. She still doesn't get it that two feet is a perfectly reasonable way to get from point A to point B. WITHOUT pushing a footstool.

Then again, who needs to stand when I'm so busy rummaging around the toy shelf?


Whatever ailed her a few weeks ago, for a few weeks, is past, and she's in a great place: giggly and silly and full of fun sounds. She laughs hard with her brothers, but also doesn't hesitate to stand up to them or try to take something from them, which they take entirely in stride -- even when she crawls up to them with the express intent of pushing them away!

That reminds me, I saw a very, very unusual behavior for Katrina this afternoon as we were leaving Melissa's: she pouted and cried. Melissa was shocked too -- she never does that! Oh she cries, but pouting first, then sobbing sadly with tears streaming down her face is unheard of. Usually her crying is frustrated and angry and without tears, accompanied by flailing protesting arms, bordering more on a fit. But sad crying? She got over it quickly in the car, and by the time we arrived to pick up Gabriel, she was pointing happily out the window announcing "Boooo!" whenever she saw a bird.

Julian thinks I hug him too hard, so whenever he tells me not to, I ask him to show me how to hug him the right way. And he comes up and hugs me almost without touching me. Then I ask him to show me the wrong way, and he wraps his arms around my neck like a python. Then I tell him I'm still not sure, and to show me again, and he hugs me again. And again. I can't believe he still falls for this, but I'll milk it for all it's worth. Lots and lots of Julian hugs...nothing's better.

1/15/08

1/14/08 The I words

Gabriel's kindergarten class, like so many, does a Letter of the Week. They practice writing the letter in upper and lower case, and write and come up with words that start with the letter.

Last week, it was the letter I. Look at what Gabriel came up with for the first two 'I' words.

Then see how lazy he got for the other ones. His rendition of Iggy the Iguana isn't exactly inspiring either.

The sad thing is, many of his classmates probably did the same thing. Good going, Stevie, now that's marketing!

His poor, poor teacher.

1/14/08

1/13/08 The Piano

I got to sleep late this morning -- yay! Thanks, Dad. I needed it. I had a lot of wine last night.

I needed it. I'm seriously bummed about my failing ankles. I went for a short tentative run last Friday with the new Superfeet insoles, but around mile 3, my left ankle started to hurt. Later, both ankles gave me constant twinges and reminders of their inherent weakness.

But not all hope is lost. A friend at work is a serious runner, and she gave me the name of her podiatrist. She'd had serious foot problems that not only meant no running (and she's always in shape for a half-marathon), but constant foot pain too. She said prescription custom orthotics and other treatments gave her her life back. That's a strong enough endorsement for me. I'm calling the guy pronto! She and another runner friend gave me names of sports medicine doctors as well. So I have a lot of resources.

If I get through this, I will make a marathon my new goal. I had no ambitions for marathon training before, but now that faulty ankles might mean not even having the option, I'm going to make it a goal.

Speaking of chronic problems, something you might all have noticed missing is constant complaints about migraines. Since starting the "Seasonique" pill, I've had one day of a mild migraine in 2-1/2 months, and that's it. A "prodrome" feeling here and there (the irrational sleepiness), but no more days and days of oppressive pain. It could also be the drastically altered sleep schedule due to work, but I doubt it. Clearly whatever torments the vascular system in my head is hormonal.

But enough about me. Let's talk about the kids! I'm happy to report that Katrina has been really fun, and funny, lately. Dare I say, even, delightful to have around? That's a big leap! She's been playing very happily, finding joy in the simplest things, often involving motion. Pushing footstools is a favorite, but so is climbing into anything that rocks or moves, like this little rocking chair we got from the Doudna grandparents some years ago.


Another fun thing she does, fun to her anyway, is lie on her back and just play, kicking her legs around like she's an upturned cockroach.


Today at Whole Foods, she was getting tired of waiting and it was approaching naptime, and she let out some of her characteristic protest screeches. Every time, people around us jumped, and twice, someone twirled around angrily to see what was causing this piercing racket, and then settled down when they saw it was just a baby. Even when she's in a really good place in life, she lets her opinion be known LOUDLY and PAINFULLY.

I thought Gabriel's interest in the piano would have waned by now, but it only seems to be accelerating. He skipped book-reading tonight in favor of practicing, though he's already memorized most of the songs in the book, plus one I showed him (Happy Birthday). He makes up his own a little too, and I'll be darned if I don't hear him play something very close to the opening sequence in the Eagles song "Desperado"!

But most of what he does is along the lines of Mary Has A Little Lamb:


If he's really interested in piano, I'll happily put him into lessons....but I will not be happy about having to bug him to practice every day. So whenever he asks about piano lessons (every 10 minutes or so), we talk about practicing. I tell him stories of when I took piano lessons and never fooled my teachers that I didn't practice all week, until just before the lesson. I think it'd be great if he really wanted to play -- and it doesn't have to be now, we can try also when he's older and more likely to practice.

Who knows, maybe I'd take up piano again too if I can't run. Sniff.

1/13/08

1/12/08 The Afternoon Out

Dave and I met with our most excellent kitchen designer this afternoon. I'm psyched. Really psyched. Most of the details are done, down to the silverware drawer. I can't wait!


Then we went out to dinner. Tangerine cheesecake with raspberry compote. Mm-MM!

This morning Gabriel observed that Bear (his beloved stuffed teddy bear of 2 years) is getting smaller.

1/12/08

1/11/08 The Giggles

Busy night, getting ready for kitchen designer meeting tomorrow.

Do I starve my children?

I went appliance-shopping again (gah!), and was struck by a conversation I seem to hear every time I'm there, about placing the fridge and microwave in the kitchen so that kids can grab snacks easily. Quite often, the conversation is about little kids who can't reach things in fridges yet.

Do I starve my children? They never, ever get snacks for themselves. Indeed, they hardly ever snack. If it's been a long time between meals, then I'll make them something, but that never involves the microwave (and often involves coercion). What "snacks" have to be heated? That's cooking!

When they're older, they probably will want to make their own snacks, but by then they'll be able to reach things themselves. Heck, Gabriel makes his own cereal in the morning now. What am I missing? I swear the skinniness is genetic, I don't underfeed them, but snacking so far isn't a big part of their fooding -- certainly not enough that I need to take that into account in the kitchen (though it happens it would work if they turned into snackers).

Speaking of eating, as Katrina chowed her way through a wide variety of carbs, her brothers wanted to play. Usually I shoo them away, but she was almost done, and they were all having a great time. Gabriel was letting her "bite" his nose, and Julian somehow gets her to scratch his teeth (which makes for much duller video). In any case, it was a nice moment of the boys swarming their baby sister, as opposed to the other 99% of the time when it's relentless and annoying!




What is life like when you don't plan to up-end your kitchen?

1/11/08

1/10/08 The Call

Julian had something he wanted to call Uncle Ronan about on his "iPhone," (a wooden block), but once he was on the spot, it slipped away.



Gabriel made this cute "snowman soup" from a gift packet his teacher gave all the kids, which was a package of hot chocolate, with marshmallows, hershey's kisses, candy canes for stirring, and a little poem. A nice little reminiscence of the holidays.

I went to REI after work today in search of Superfeet insoles, which several runners have told me they never run without. It appears my feet pronate (fall inward at the arch) somewhat, and this could be causing my ankle problems. Funny, I never had feet or ankle problems from years of dance, with shoes that have no support whatsoever. I'll run on the insoles tomorrow and see.

But do note: the World-Wide Conspiracy Against Size 6-1/2 is alive and well -- what size range do you think was missing in the Superfeet insoles for women? What else?! I had to get a men's version.

I got really, really lucky. For one, it's been raining a lot this week, coinciding with my ankle recovery. Perfect. For another, I lost track of time at REI this afternoon, and panicked when I saw it was 5:25pm when I was checking out. I knew I'd have to call Dave immediately and beg him to go get the boys, because 35 minutes to pick up all 3 wasn't nearly enough (even though I was only a few minutes from Melissa's). Turns out, when I got in my car and put on my headset, Dave was calling me to offer to pick up the boys. Whew! I think I used up a year's worth of karma on that one!

Dinner was courtesy Trader Joe's and reheated leftovers. So many kitchens now have two ovens...but on major re-heat days, I often need two microwaves. Is that ultra-super-spoiled or what?!

Katrina was in an exuberant mood tonight. Boy, when she's happy, she really pours it on. And when she's not...oh brother. Today when I picked her up, she saw me and started twisting her torso back and forth with her arms out -- a full-body pushing-away of the arms to object to my interrupting her book! She recovered, and made the most adorable baby sounds in the car, clapping when a song was over. Then at home she was full of squeaks and giggles as she pushed around footstools. No progress on walking though.

I was glad to see my children tonight. I had an intensely stressful evening last night, and today as well (handling some of my Dad's affairs), and it was a relief to be brought back to earth with the familiar ins and outs of children ("put your shoes away!" "pick that up RIGHTNOW!" "go finish your homework!")...no, mostly it was being with them, talking with them, humoring Julian's phone calls, stepping around Katrina and the footstools in the kitchen. Everything they do, even the annoying things, is striving toward making their own mark, growing, learning, embracing the world with a fresh perspective, with energy and eagerness, full of joy and optimism and promise. This is why I had kids; to stay in touch with the future, to be surrounded by youth and its surprises and delights. Sometimes it's staggering to think how deeply I love them.

1/10/08

1/9/08 The Misunderstanding

I have a new one-tolerance (as opposed to "zero") policy with Gabriel abusing Julian: one incident gets one warning, then one more, he goes straight to his room. I don't bother verifying; Julian's scccrreeeeEEECH of pain, preceded by Gabriel's bloodcurdling scolding (gee I wonder where he gets that from), is enough. They fight over Julian's piano, overall a good thing -- Gabriel loves to "learn" to play the songs and memorize them, but when Julian tries to play with his own birthday present, it often comes to blows.

Tonight, Gabriel got sent to his room for a second offense, and is so often the case, it didn't stop there. While I was making dinner, I had to run up the stairs numerous times to check on unsettling noises. One time I found two boxes of toys scattered about his room, and I told him he had to clean them up now....then realizing the impracticality of enforcing "now" (I had all four burners going on the stove!), I changed my story to that he couldn't go downstairs until he'd cleaned them up.

A few minutes later, he was downstairs. I was furious -- I hadn't let him out yet! I dragged him up in a rage. But his outraged-innocent response was genuine: "You said I could come downstairs when I cleaned it up!"

Hmm! Busted on a language subtlety. I meant he couldn't come back downstairs until I said so, as was the case to begin with, but now there was an additional condition: he'd have to have cleaned up the toys. But he took it to mean that cleaning up the toys was all he'd have to do to earn himself the right to go back down. (In retrospect, that'd have been a good exit strategy, if I'd thought of it.)

As it was, I had to give him an apology, a hug, and then a stern warning about pushing, kicking, pinching, scratching or generally injuring Julian again.

It struck me again how ordered Gabriel is: being banished and then dragged up the stairs didn't make him cry, but the injustice had him nearly in tears. This is why, at least for now, asking him what happened when there's a problem is effective. When he's innocent, he really acts it.

(As a side note: much brother-bashing goes on around here ignored, that's just part of life. But there are blatant offenses on one end of the huge gray zone called "boys will be boys," and those are punishable. I've seen handprints, teethmarks, red welts, long scratches and countless other Gabriel-inflicted injuries on Julian over the years. I look forward to the day when Julian is bigger and heavier than his brother and gives him a sound beating-up, but I'm losing confidence that'll ever happen.)

Speaking of troublesome...Katrina! Actually, she was full of wiggles and giggles this morning, just about jumping out of her skin with laughing and raspberries and overall silliness. But she's started genuine tantrums too: throwing herself on the floor and flailing her arms if she doesn't get her way (like having crayons taken away when she starts to throw them).

When I picked her up from Melissa's today, Katrina had her whole heart and soul wrapped up in this book, and I had to plan carefully to pick her up and go, because I knew she'd throw her whole body into a fierce protest. Fortunately, she and Melissa have a "game" of Melissa "chasing" Katrina as I carry her to the car, and that turns her energy from furious to joyful.

I keep telling myself that if she's going to turn into a Gabriel, that's overall a good thing. Or will be in another 2-1/2 years. Meantime, I could use some guidance from William Safire.

1/9/08

1/8/08 The un-sick day

Melissa called me at work today to tell me Katrina was acting very strange, and not good. Lots of clinging, crying, screaming even...and cuddling. Cuddling?! She must not be feeling well! Katrina even fell asleep in Melissa's arms, after refusing to take a nap, then woke up about 15 minutes later screaming. After last week's fleeting fevers, and Saturday's inexplicable screaming fit, it was time to be seen.

One thing I love abour our pediatrician's office is how reliably we can get last-minute appointments.

One thing I really don't like about our pediatrician's office is how we have to wait so, so, so long in the examining room.

I called at 10:30am, got an appointment for 11:30am, arrived at 11:25am. We were checked in immediately by the nurse, weighed and partially undressed Katrina. Doctor will be right with you. Uh-huh. So we wait in the examining room. The small examining room. Baby playing on the narrow examining table, Mom standing vigilantly in front to keep her from diving off. No toys. Cold floor with paper clips and who knows what else on it. Low drawers, garbage cans, rolling footstools -- all sorts of stuff crawling babies can get into trouble with.

A tormentuous and aggravating and exhausting 40 minutes later, the doctor shows up, and spends five minutes with us. No ear infection, lungs clear, all looks OK. Indeed, Katrina had mercifully been in a great mood, and amused herself pulling on my work badge and playing with a zipper on my vest. We're not supposed to feed them in the rooms, but we'd been there a long time, and Cheerios that Melissa had thoughtfully sent along with us bought me another 5 minutes.

Note to self: from now on, ask the nurse if we can wait in the waiting room, which is spacious, has toys, windows, a fish tank, carpet, comfortable chairs and magazines for bored moms. Why do we have to spend all that time entertaining half-dressed toddlers in the cold examining room? It's torture!

With a onesie and diaper, Katrina weighed 20 lbs 5 oz. It's carseat turnaround time!

I actually didn't mind too much having to take a day off work, though I wish I could have worked a little more. Katrina was in fabulous shape all afternoon, being silly and playing very happily and generally exhibiting the good side of her joie de vivre and energy.

She ate a ton of dinner and then spent the balance of the evening pushing around this little wagon and screeching at her brothers when they dared stand in her way. The boys engaged in the new order around here: Gabriel and the Snap Circuits, Julian and the little (now horribly out-of-tune) piano.

The catch-all for mysterious baby ailments is "teething." I guess that's all we have to go on.

1/8/08

1/7/08 The Ankles

I was hoping to run into another contractor at work today, who comes in sporadically, and who is a very serious runner. If he was there, I hoped to have an opening (as he's often tied up) to ask him if my painful ankles, worse this morning, were a common running injury. Not only was he there, but I had the opening: he hobbled in with a cast -- broken ankle! He twisted it on a rock while running and actually broke it.

Some Web-surfing and talking to him about ankles says that there is hope: gel orthotics and shoe inserts that conform to your foot, sports medicine doctors, certain types of stretches, and knowing when to lay off can all help. I found today that my ankles were the least bothersome after sneaking to the back loading dock and doing a few weights exercises, including lunges. If the answer is movement and stretching, I'm all for it.

Katrina was in a dazzling mood this morning, and also when I picked her up this afternoon, full of raspberries and squeaks and giggle fits. Melissa reported that she wasn't like that all day; crying after falling and hitting her forehead and refusing to practice walking after that. That is most decidedly not like Gabriel.

She was downright violent in rejecting her second course of dinner, one I know she likes (spaghetti). But she downed the whole thing after I brought her outside and let her point at things in the dark sky and watch a pickup truck park on our street. That reminds me of having to feed Gabriel on the front porch when he was a baby, taking advantage of the outdoors to distract him.

And it reminds me that I never had to do that with Julian. I can thank Katrina for making Julian's babyhood seem idyllic, even though his babyhood coincided with Gabriel's twos-hood, the worst, and so not idyllic, period of our baby-raising lives so far. But there was a reason I called Julian "Angel Baby."

Gabriel has been so focused on Julian's piano and the little music book that yesterday he was practically begging me to sign him up for "real" piano lessons. The way he tackles the music book reminds me of his foray into Morse Code, like he likes translating symbols. I'd toyed with the idea of signing Julian up for some sort of music class, but Gabriel? Hmm! At the moment, none of them have any scheduled activities; I'm reluctant to make the commitment when our lives are due to turn upside-down in a few months.

Besides, I'm selfish, and right now with work overwhelming my weekdays, the weekends have to work around my trips to the Y and running. My ankles may have a different plan though.

1/7/08