8/21/2010 The home park

Being a single parent this weekend, somehow I felt extra pressure to be a Great Mom and do something Really Fun and Extraordinary and Amazing with my children.

Instead, I stayed in bed as long as I could. I didn't even have the energy to gather everyone and everything to get to the Y in time for a workout before the Childwatch closes at 12:30. I did have to get up to give Katrina breakfast at 7:30 -- she was dressed and complained that no one was helping her (often the boys will get her cereal). I got her started and went back to bed until almost 10. I am so glad to be past the baby GETUPNOW phase.

But despite my lack of energy and persistent need for a nap all day, I managed not to be too too negligent. Gabriel and I made French toast together, which he loves to do. I really enjoy the pride he gets from making it himself. I had to reach some things and talk him through all the steps, but he pretty much did all of it, including handling the stovetop flame. This boy will go away to college being an expert French-toast maker!

After a drudgerous but necessary run to Staples for some school supplies, I pulled the ping-pong table out of the garage, and set it up for the first time in our new backyard. I found a perfect spot where both players could be on pavement. The boys had a great time, playing for an hour and a half, without fighting. They even had some rallies going, but they also made up games and laughed a lot. I was very happy to see that.


Meantime Katrina played out front by herself, also for well into an hour and a half, largely because her brothers weren't bugging her. She was walking along the retaining wall, exploring the bushes and plants, sitting on the bench, running her fingers through the tanbark, teetering on the little rock river.

It surprises me to read on Facebook that other moms are enjoying their kids being 8 because they can play on their own so much better now -- this seems to be a common thing, but it's completely out of my world. All three of our kids have been extraordinarily self-entertaining since they were very, very young. Most parents admire this and smile and say "oh that's great!", but I can't even say if it's great or not. It's just how it's always been. We never made it a goal or worked toward developing independence or anything, they just did that. (Could it be that my own dim interest in kids-only activities, the dearth of extra-curriculars, my inability to join their world, played a role in that?)

Anyway, independent or not, one could safely argue I shouldn't let my 3-year-old play out front by herself for so long without supervision, but I did check on her (ok, once), and truth is, that's very normal for her, and us. I didn't go so far as to take a nap while she was out there though.

But neither Katrina nor the boys would have lasted nearly as long outside if it weren't for our new landscaping. There's so much more to do and see and play in; there's shady places and stepping stones and open areas and places to hide, climb, and search for bugs and mushrooms; there's things to dig in and draw on...it's visually rich, it has many textures and levels and colors and curves and angles and is a very appealing place to be. I'm delighted.

In the late afternoon, I trooped them all into the car to drop off a Baba Au Rhum holiday cake I had to try making, then decided I had to capitalize on the capture. If they're all strapped into the car, I'm going to make the most of it! I took them to Michael's, and had a brainstorm as I was parking: it was time to address Julian's adorable moptop.

This turned into haircuts for all three. Just the way I like it: no planning, no waiting. Gabriel's hair was still short from the lice episode, but getting scraggly and uneven around the edges. I wasn't planning on a trim for Katrina, but she asked for it and it's always wise to have a pro even out her bangs after my hacking at them, plus her hair is getting pretty long in the back. And shoulder-length is so cute on her.


You can see in photos how pretty her hair is, but it's really glorious in real life. Smooth, swingy, full of body, beautiful multi-colored streaks, super-soft and healthy.

Back at home, the park play continued, with all three of them going around with these silly toys of animal heads on sticks with mouths that can open, picking up pieces of tanbark or hanging them from branches. Naturally for the boys these became guns and vehicles of destruction.


Some of the play wasn't so constructive, like when the boys threw tanbark and clumps of dirt onto a patio, which turned into half an hour of them sweeping it up. It'd have been a whole lot easier to put them on time-out than make them sweep, since that created a lot of work for me checking on them every few minutes. You can't leave two boys alone with brooms for long, they become weapons very quickly. But in the end they did a pretty good job.

We didn't do anything Extraordinary or Amazing today, but just being at home, playing, running, imagining -- and even being bored sometimes -- is exactly what everyone needed.

8/21/2010

8/20/2010 Ricardo

Friday night, we had a milk emergency. One new half-gallon that morning had turned up sour, then a second half-gallon that night. This left us with no milk, a big crisis. With Dave out of town, the only choice was to pack up the troops after dinner and make a run to Trader Joe's. I was absolutely exhausted and not in the mood to go anywhere, but this was urgent.

Fortunately, our closest TJ's has Ricardo. This is a stuffed penguin that gets hidden somewhere around the store for kids to find, and earn themselves some sort of prize if they do. The real prize is for the parents, whose kids are immediately consumed with the search instead of shoving, spinning, running, pinching and drawing aggravated looks from anyone within 30 feet. You have to be OK with the kids being out of sight as they scour the aisles, but you all know me by now -- to me, that's the whole point.

And the boys found Ricardo! They were very excited and happy about it, not even objecting to a TJ's staffer taking a photo of them. The photo gets put up on a wall of friends, next to a drawing of Ricardo.

And, they all got lollipops. I really, really hate lollipops. Sticky, can't set them down anywhere, and they immediately expose my parent-scrooginess. I told them all to finish them before we got in the car, because there was no way in hel...in the world those things were getting anywhere near the car. For once, all 3 complied.

It's an astounding drag to get everyone into and out of the car for what should be a quick trip, but Ricardo made it fun. Thanks, Ricardo!

8/20/2010

8/19/2010 First day of school!

This was it! My 1st and 3rd graders!!


My pre-Ker wasn't into the photo party.


I brought the boys to school today, mostly just to see them off and to have a proud Mom moment -- and then to scoot off quickly for the sake of the teachers. Even first-grade teachers have to deal with some pretty freaked-out parents. Parents were all crowded around Julian's classroom, taking pictures, trying to go in to see their cubbies, reminding them about lunch.

One Dad told me he'd taken the entire week off of work, and had rehearsed his son walking from class to the CDC yesterday, but would pick him up today and tomorrow to take him on the 50-yard trip to the CDC. 99% of me shrugs at this, 1% of me wonders if I'm missing something -- should I be walking Julian to the CDC? I'd told him he had to walk there himself after class, and he said with his wonderful wide-eyed sincere look, "I know, Mom!" And I believe him.

By 3rd grade, things have calmed down, there was a lot less parent-helicoptering going on.

Julian brought home a sheet on which he'd written the 5 class rules today. I smiled at seeing that -- that's clever of the teacher, reinforcing the rules and getting an idea of how the whole class writes.

(As a note on "class rules" -- I like straightforward practical clear rules like "Keep your hands to yourself," but I never like ambiguous fuzzy rules like "Be kind." That's a broader goal in life, and even something as apparently benign as kindness has tradeoffs. I'm not selling my house to feed starving families in Africa, after all. Rules should address actions, not intent. But what do I know about running a room full of 6-year-olds.)

Sometimes it's hard describing to non-parents, or to people who parented my generation, why school is so much work nowadays. Let me give you an example. Both boys came home with "homework" for parents: a Student Emergency Card to fill out for the classroom, a list of missing school supplies, a request to describe your students' likes and dislikes, an enrollment health card for the school office, and a library contract that parents are supposed to review with their kids and sign. Never mind the homework Gabriel had too. It's relentless.

I didn't have much better luck with photos picking up from the CDC this afternoon. Still just 2 out of 3 cooperative.


Katrina surprisingly announced to a new CDC teacher: "When I'm done with pre-K, I'm going to CDC!" She's rarely so open with strangers.

Well I can't wait for Friday now -- I can thank school for that.

8/19/2010

8/18/2010 School Night

Big day!

I took the day off work today and took the boys to the city, as our last-day-before-school hurrah. Our primary mission was to see the Pampanito, a WWII submarine, but we ended up adding a visit to another WWII craft on the same pier, a Liberty ship named the Jeremiah O'Brien.

Sub in the foreground, Liberty ship in the distance.


The big cargo boat was almost more fun than the submarine -- certainly more spaces and views than in a submarine.

Including a view of the submarine!


The 3" gun at the back (aft?) of the boat was pretty cool. Not toddler-territory to get to.



There were numerous decks and levels (that's the Golden Gate Bridge in the background).


Including a 4-story engine room, with ladders and catwalks all the way down to the bottom of the boat. It was like something out of The Poseidon Adventure.

We saw all the San Francisco cliches -- the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, Fisherman's Wharf...truth be told, I hated the crowds and traffic and tourist-trapness of the area. I've never liked it around the piers, except for the boats themselves.

After a ridiculously long service at Denny's for a late emergency lunch, we were so late that we drove straight to pick up Katrina at preschool. Then to the boys' school to find out teachers and rooms for tomorrow.

Gabriel keeps belly-aching about school starting tomorrow, and is trying to commiserate with Julian, unsuccessfully: "Isn't the first day of school BOOOOORING?" Julian is trapped between wanting to be "in" with his older brother, but really not minding at all about school starting.

Caught a video of the boys doing their usual messing around. This is sort of cute here, but lemme tell you, it gets SERIOUSLY old when it's at dinner, in stores, while driving, getting ready to leave for somewhere, bedtime, in the kitchen, in the office...everywhere, constantly.

This particular moment is benign, but they often turn to real fighting, with pain and injury and greatly escalated fist-swinging, without a clear turning point. Even Katrina, heard in the background, thought it had turned hostile -- she was only a minute behind, as it inevitably did.

A friend who has two girls assured me yesterday that girls are violent together too. Really, they do this too -- and the drama? I guess that's just kids -- though not all end up with bloody noses from it.

Busy busy night tonight...lunches, filling out CDC forms, making sure everyone has everything ready. And, back to the strict bedtime: 7:30 upstairs, lights off 8:00. I made it by 8:13....we're out of practice (Dave left for St.Louis tonight so I was on my own).

More photos of our outing today later, I had a ton to do tonight and I'm plum outta time!

8/18/2010

8/17/2010 Chicken Coop

Not much to say, and no photos -- I should have taken some, but I was busy waitressing. We went out to dinner at the Sonoma Chicken Coop in downtown San Jose tonight with our longtime moto-friends. (One even showed up on a motorcycle -- one that used to be mine in fact.)

This was good -- we ate outside, it's informal (no table service), and with two other girls there in the same generation as our kids (1st and 5th graders), our kids were remarkably calm and well-behaved. In fact, after the initial flurry of getting napkins and drinks and whatever, it was the most peaceful dinner I've had in months!

But those nights are numbered. This was the last Tuesday Night Dinner of the summer. Next week and for many many weeks after that, Tuesdays are "school nights."

8/17/2010

8/16/2010 The 6-week clock

It starts today.

For months at work I've been putting off my management, saying that I can't do much until the software package I'm supposed to test and deploy is installed and ready to go. Then I need 6 weeks to test it and figure out how to set it up. That clock started Monday.

I've worked enough years to know that it doesn't matter what I encounter, what setbacks or possible great new ideas come up, or just how bad this package is -- on Sept. 30th, one way or another, I must deliver.

The gun barrel is cold and steely against my temple, piercing into my consciousness at all levels and at all times. In the grand scheme, this software package means absolutely nothing by itself.

But my success at this project means future freedom and latitude, and extraordinary personal growth and accomplishment at pulling something together out of a disjointed dysfunctional set of pieces. I've been handed a pile of scrap, and I need to weld it into art. My challenge isn't so much technical as it is making the best of very little.

So forgive the brevity and mundanity of my upcoming posts, but it's an investment in the future.

8/16/2010

8/15/2010 Lemon weekend

We went to an unusual car show Saturday: the Concours De Lemons, whose slogan is "Celebrating the oddball, mundane and truly awful of the automotive world." Classic clunkers and losers and weirdos. Who could resist?

It was about an hour and a half drive, so the kids were ready to run around when we arrived. This low-key event was held in a public park, so there was plenty of running and goofing-around room.



And we were not disappointed. DeLorean, Corvairs, Trabants, a Unimog, an Edsel -- only thing missing was a Yugo. A sense of humor seemed to be the only requirement for entering a car.






Signs grouped cars by country of origin, usually humorously.




Near the parking lot was a terrific climbing tree, it was hard to peel the kids off it.



This is about as ideal an outing as it gets for the Doudna family -- informal, low-ley, outdoors, related to vehicles -- we all had a great time!

That was yesterday....Dave had to work today, so I didn't do much with the kids today away from home. I did use the movie Star Wars as an incentive to get the whole house picked up and all their laundry done, folded and put away (cleaners are coming tomorrow). They know Star Wars from books, cards, a few video games -- but they don't know the original movie. And the time for them to learn it coincided perfectly with the need to get the house under control. Besides, I just love that movie.

Tomorrow the week starts....the week that contains the tipover from summer to school. I feel like I'm taking my last few steps up to the cliff I'm about to jump off of.

8/15/2010

8/13/2010 Paper blogging

Not blogging tonight -- I'm scrapbooking again! Whee!

8/13/2010

8/12/2010 Rare night

Two unusual events coincided tonight: I had to work late, and the boys had a playdate with Dave's friend's son Kirin. Kirin lives in Ohio but visits his dad Uday every summer, and Uday flies to Ohio every other weekend to see him, plus they talk on the phone several times a day. Now that's an exemplary long-distance relationship!

Uday offered to take our boys and Kirin to dinner and then to a remote-controlled race car place for a playdate. I had to call Dave at work and ask him to pick up kids and deal with dinner tonight, when he reminded me of this playdate. So he left work early, picked up the kids and joined the boys, with one very enthusiastic little girl tagging along too.

And so they played with remote-controlled race cars.



I got home late and buzzed and burnt from an intense day at work to...an empty house! I almost didn't know what to do with myself. But I got over that quickly. This was an opportunity not to be missed.

My "new" job has been going on for 6 months. My jury's still out on the lifestyle, but I do like feeling like I can think again. I like collaborating, I like digging into problems, I like making things to work. Time alone at home is a big casualty of this lifestyle, but if I get it once in 6 months, that makes me happier.

8/12/2010

8/11/2010 Dress-up Day

Katrina's preschool had "dress-up day" today -- dress up in anything you want. I'm building quite the stash of old Halloween costumes, so resurrected this clown costume. (I love making costumes, but it's hard to beat this eBay find for $7!) Katrina was very excited about wearing it today, though not so excited about a photo. This was the best I could do.

A happy clown today! With any luck, she'll want to use this for Halloween too!

8/11/2010

8/10/2010 Boys together

Arrrgh....I did think twice about putting the boys together in the same Y day camp.

But the dropoff and pickup for the Y camps is far enough away that it's really impractical to stagger the weeks that they go, and in any given week, there are only so many camps offered. They're getting a little older too, presumably more mature, maybe they won't be interested in messing around with each other.

This week is ice-skating week, and it's popular enough that I figured there'd be enough kids to buffer the brother effect. This camp is for kids entering 1st-3rd grades, so I also figured they'd end up dividing the group by age.

And all the things I expected turn out to be true about the camps. But none of it is enough to overcome the irresistible urge our boys have to constantly push, shove, kick, hit, roughhouse, tease, torment and pummel each other.

The ice-skating camp director found me at pickup today and told me that it started yesterday, but was really bad today, nonstop roughhousing and not listening to the teachers. They were warned, timed out, separated, had to sit out activities, but still wouldn't quit being disruptive. I asked if there were other brother pairs in the group, and he said yes, but none quite so....er, physical.

I was mortified and furious with myself. What was I thinking putting them in the same camp?! This means they spend pretty much every waking moment together. And sleeping moments too -- the past two nights, I've found Julian in Gabriel's bunk, as though all this togetherness creates a twisted separation anxiety. But there's nothing they both need more than time apart. I see another residual effect of all this time together -- the second they're reunited with Katrina, they both heap her with often unwanted attention, as if they're starving for fresh sibling interaction.

School starts next week. I was dreading school starting, but the separation that comes with different classes can't come soon enough.

8/10/2010

8/9/2010 Stitches out!

Julian got his stitches out this morning. The wound has healed well, though the doc warned it'd be sensitive for a few months.

Today was the first day he could go back into the water (immersed that is; baths have been OK) -- good timing, because today was a swim lesson.

Julian had a great time in his lesson, especially the 5-minute playtime at the end. Today's playtime activity was to jump into the water from the pool deck however they wanted. So what is the first thing he does? I could see him winding up for it -- Julian jumped off the edge and did a half-twist in the air, so that he was facing the pool deck when he entered the water. This is exactly how he injured his chin less than a week ago!!

Normally I don't interfere in lessons, and though he cleared the pool deck by a few feet, I did interfere to go remind him sternly that that's how he got hurt, don't do that.

He'll have a small scar, but it won't be visible. Not that he cares. Kids wear scars like badges of honor of course, he'd probably want it to be visible. It makes me want to scrapbook the event, so that the details of the incident are recorded in fact, instead of drifting into myth over time.


As I was trying to get a photo for the scrapbook, Katrina, unusually, wanted her picture taken. This one clearly is a tribute to her expert face-making cousin Remi.


Then Julian had to join in too.


Gabriel quit swim lessons at DACA, so he stayed at home.

I'm really really tired of the constant irritation I feel watching the lesson, and how the stupid levels hold the kids back. I saw Julian use his arms once or twice today as he was making his way back to the side after jumping in, and was startled at how effective he is with them -- swift, precise, strong. Or would be with them if only he were taught to use them. We're done with swim lessons after August. Next summer, I'm signing them up for backyard lessons in which they have a shot at actually learning to swim.

Learning to jump safely into a pool, on the other hand....

8/9/2010

8/8/2010 Kidplay

As we were doing our big landscaping project, I wanted to plan for a play structure swingset sort of thing. We even mapped out an area that would be prepared with a border and tanbark in the design, but it got at the end of the project. The landscapers put in lawn instead, and we were anxious enough to get done that we didn't object (though we did make sure the item "prep play area" was removed from the contract). This is one of many details that fall victim to project burnout.

Besides, I still wasn't sure what would fit there. And, feeling very very burnt out on spending, suddenly the $2000 or so for a structure was $1990 more than I felt like spending. So, wait and see.

Then friends bought a house with a swingset in their backyard. This childfree couple wants to do the yard all Japanese and Feng-shui, so they're anxious to remove this eyesore. We went to check it out Friday night.

In the end we decided this just wouldn't fit in our strange space, which is fine for grownups (and kids too), but no longer has singular wide-open spaces.

I did learn that a back-to-back glider swing is great fun, though it also has great potential for fighting since it only holds two. The only way such a swing could be used is with Katrina in one spot, who can't pump it herself and SCREAMS insistently for someone to help her; and then whichever brother won the fight over the remaining chauffeur spot. The boys will fight over who gets their spot, and if it's just the boys together, then Katrina will freak out.

Saturday morning, while I slept late, the kids found a roly-poly and followed the poor thing, put it in a bucket for its "house" and named it, then let it out to play and lost it. Dave says this kept all three busy for quite a while.

Sigh. They need a pet.

Saturday afternoon we went to another friend's house in the Santa Cruz mountains, for a barbecue we'd arranged months ahead of time -- that's how busy both families are. Dave and Ric worked together years ago and also know each other from motorcycling. Ric and Val attended our wedding with their darling 5-year-old carrot-top boy, who bowed to me again and again. I so wish someone had caught a photo of that! Anyway, that "little" boy is almost 17 now and just as delightful a young man as he was a little boy. He's very active in Boy Scouts and wants to be a screenwriter.

However, he's pretty much outgrown his childhood staple, a 14-foot diameter trampoline. Its attraction was immediately obvious -- all three kids were immediately overcome with giggles and laughter playing on it. It's better with a net around it, but our kids didn't jump very high yet and actually seemed a lot safer than I'd expected. They had a great time for a long time, while we grownups chatted above on the deck.


This item too has been offered to us, but again it's not clear where we'd fit it. It's incredible -- our lot is 11,600 sq.ft. -- large by Sunnyvale standards -- and yet we can't quite fit a swingset or trampoline?! Actually we can, it's just what else we'd give up in ability to move around, or curb appeal. For instance, the kids love riding bicycles around the backyard now -- a trampoline would interfere with that. And I can't bring myself to stick a trampoline out front, it'd just look awful.

Trampolines are a lot easier to put in and take out than swing sets, but swing sets are more versatile and we could get a more compact one to fit. Both keep kids happy for hours, but which one is the win for us? By the time we figure it out, they might be too old for either.

It's unusual for me not to blog for 2 nights in a row. The muscle cramps episode of Thursday night really threw me out of whack; I limped on and off all day Friday and felt many threatening pulls in the muscle, warning me of a recurrence. I took a muscle relaxant left over from my back episode, and it totally knocked me out all Friday. I truly had nothing to say to put in a blog, a rare event indeed. Saturday night we were all tired and content from our wonderful visit with our friends in the mountains, and I went straight to sleep when we got home. Morning sleep is a big casualty of our "new" lifestyle with me working full-time (6 months now), so I truly value the times I can sleep late on weekends.

Unfortunately, by the time my body's rested and back on its own natural rhythms, it's time for the rat race to start all over again. And there's no stopping this one -- Julian gets his stitches out tomorrow at 8am.

8/8/2010

8/5/2010 Safe swimming??

OK no more talking about how safe swimming is compared to running. First Julian bashes open his chin, then tonight I went for a swim and was attacked by the worst muscle cramps I've ever had. Alternately both calves, and various small muscles in my feet too. I was SO mad, I was gliding along so nicely, well on my way toward a nonstop 2000yard swim. Cramps really are dangerous; I was only a few yards from the side when the biggest one hit, and I had to work hard to get to the side. Dunno what it's about but I'm taking a hot bath, muscle relaxants, and going right to bed. It's Burn Notice* night anyway.

8/5/2010

*seems I'm not the only Sharon Gless fan, she was nominated for an Emmy for her role on BN.

8/4/2010 Tennis, anyone?

Yesterday after Julian and I were done at Urgent Care, we went back to the school where the Y daycamps are held (conveniently about a 2-minute drive away). Since the doc had said no swimming this week while his stitches were in, we had to make a change from Splash Camp.

Julian was very excited about Lego Bash'n'Bots, but I warned him this popular camp would probably be full, and it was. All that was open was Prince and Princesses (Prince and Princesses? Now really, do any boys join this one??), Hogwarts, and tennis. The Hogwarts camp director was there, a funny friendly guy, and we chatted up the Harry Potter stories (of which I'm a big fan). But when I offered Julian the choices, he said, "Tennis" right away. "You sure?" "Yup, tennis." OK! Tennis it is.

I realized in the middle of the day today that I wasn't even sure if he knew what tennis is.

But he had a great time today, happily describing the games they played and how to serve and that he beat his whole group in a running race. Uh-huh, I'd like to hear the rest of that story. The reason for my skepticism is well-founded: it happens that an old friend from Las Madres was in his group, and Julian claimed to have outrun him too. He cited their exact times in seconds, but I still find it hard to believe that Julian outran athletic and older Rylan (Gabriel's peer).

These sports camps typically do the specific activity in the morning, then other things in the afternoon. Ironically this afternoon was Swim Day for the tennis camp. But that was OK, the tennis camp Director told me that lots of kids don't swim, and they have other activities set up for them. He also told me at pickup today that Julian seemed to really enjoy himself and picked up the tennis part quickly. Tennis, so far, is a big win.

Splash camp, on the other hand....not so much. Gabriel said yesterday that the 45-minute lesson was "great" because half of it involved the kids floating around in life vests, which they could opt out of, and he did. Today he got lucky again because they were buddied up, and his buddy had to get out of the pool for some reason, so he got to get out also. He says he's not learning anything, and complains about having to "practice." That's the 45-minute lesson part; then they get lots of water free play time, which he likes.

Both Gabriel and Julian found the pool to be too cold for lessons, which means there's likely too much waiting. It's a large outdoor pool, kept to a typical temperature for a practice pool, which is great for actually swimming, but a little cold if you have to hold onto the side for more than a few minutes. The boys complained about the pool where I swim too, so I know how cold it is, and it's perfect if you're actually moving. On hot days it's actually a little too warm.

Talking with a coworker today who has 2 boys aged 10 and 12, and two Las Madres friends whose kids have finally learned to swim, I'm increasingly convinced that short intensive courses (every day for 2 weeks) in an entrepreneur's backyard pool with just one or two kids in the lesson is plenty -- provided the lessons are of high quality. Heck, I'll even take lessons of mediocre quality if they'd just teach them to use their arms!

Gabriel is at a level in which he is taught arms (at DACA that is), and he could benefit from plain old practice, but I gather he's not getting enough pressure from the Y camp to swim even from one side of the pool to the other, a mere 25 yards. I know he could be motivated to; he was very intrigued to hear that I usually swim a "mile" when I work out swimming. Somehow "a mile" sounded a lot more impressive than "1800 yards" (which is a bare minimum for any real swimmers).

Julian isn't even being taught to use his arms yet at DACA. From the brief stint we did at Water Babies last summer, in which they view arms as pretty important in swimming, I saw that he was quite ready to use them. Otherwise it's called "treading water." Even Katrina could benefit from arm practice now, though she's even lamer than her swim lessons, so she is getting a little out of them, but not nearly as much as she could.

Wouldn't it be funny if Julian really got into tennis. We'd have a great story to tell about how it got started.

8/4/2010

8/3/2010 Chin-bonk

"I think he needs stitches," said the Splash Camp director. I didn't know how to answer; the camp director sounded so young and unsure itself. The camp director continued, "He's sitting next to me, he isn't crying and it's not bleeding...but I think he needs to be seen."

I called our pediatricians, whose phone-answering medical assistant wouldn't tell me anything until I'd gotten to Julian and had a chance to look myself. As if I'm any expert. I had to wait almost 10 minutes on hold when I did get to Julian and see his wound (and agreed with the young camp director). Then it took 2 minutes to drive to a nearby urgent care center.

He'd jumped into the pool in a strange way, trying to do one of his spin-things as he jumped. Apparently he'd rotated just enough so that if clearing the pool edge was in question, his chin would be the first to get it. And did. So, urgent care clinic, here we come.

Band-aid in the waiting area.


The doc (P.A.) stitches him up, after slathering a numbing agent across the wound and then injecting it with Novacaine.


Six in all, though the doc used small stitches and very thin suture thread so as to minimize facial scarring.


Julian never cried or complained through the whole thing, quite the trooper! My guess is that the pain and discomfort comes later.

Someone had to break the impasse -- so far, we've had no broken bones, no casts, not even any stitches! It had to happen sooner or later.

8/3/2010

8/2/2010 Swim Camp

Somehow before the summer, in my ongoing aggravation about slow swim learning, I decided to sign the boys up for Splish Splash camp, a weeklong Y daycamp that would emphasize swimming every day. Learning by immersion, sink or swim, one lesson every day -- maybe that would give them the jump-start (or "sink in") they'd need to kick off actual swimming. I've been discouraged again with the slow progress at DACA, which Gabriel has now quit and the other two only have one month left of, and hoped that the Y camp would kick-start things.

No dice. The boys reported today that they were split into very broad groups, by kids saying if they could swim or not, and then had what they described as a lame 45-minute lesson. I ignored complaints about cold -- they're used to absurdly warm water in training pools -- but they both said they could do way more than the class offered. Both said their DACA classes were way better. Damned with faint praise, again.

The rest of the day camp was a regular old fun day camp, but the swim lesson part of it seems sounds like a bust. Again. Like I should be surprised? It's so freakin' difficult to find good swim lessons! Or even bad ones -- just lessons in which they're actually taught to swim!

After picking the the boys up from camp, we zoomed home to get ready to go to, of all things, a swim lesson at DACA. This time just Katrina and Julian.

Julian had a great time in his "red ribbon" class, but once again I found myself quelling irritation that he's in a group of other kids who I see as holding him back. The teacher had to give extra attention to teaching very basic skills like diving. I thought at his level we were sort of beyond this broad differences in skill.

Now, in fairness, Julian had no idea how to dive either his first day, but after just a few lessons, he can dive far more confidently than today's classmates. He leapt to volunteer to go first, anxious to show off his "flip" (meaning, he can't dive straight and ends up flipping underwater):

This tells me the classes just aren't structured right, if skills that can be learned quickly (diving) are mixed in with more fundamental ones that tend to group kids together (errr...swimming?? oh no never mind, that's not until 3 levels later.)

Once again, I found myself watching his class with a mixture of irritation and pride. I remember my one and only experience Momma-bearing, when Julian was in a lower-level class, low enough that you could still get cryers in it. One day, Julian's poor teacher was completely consumed dealing with a new cryer, and I counted the number of turns he had, four, all being pulled around on a barbell. That was too much...or rather, too little. I asked (complained), and he got moved to a class with peers more in keeping with his level.

Again today I found myself wanting to goad the teacher, "can we dispense with the preliminaries and move on to SWIMMING?!"

And this was in the good class today!

He had a new teacher today, who overall was pretty good. Julian's still learning how to dive for sink rings.


One new classmate was not only 10 minutes late (that's really late for a half-hour class), but she had no goggles, looked like she was about to cry at first, and then was constantly chided and helped by her mother, including being helped with climbing out of the pool. Julian is substantially shorter than both girls, and has longer clingier swim trunks to handicap him, so struggled mightily to get out to the side. But I stayed out of it, and he did it.



I wasn't even trying to catch this, but she also gives the girl instructions during class to kick. Later, off-camera, she admonishes her daughter not to let go of the side. I did nothing to support her cause, motioning to Julian to let go if he caught my eye, not that he needed any extra encouragement. He likes letting go and practicing treading water while waiting his turn (a long time while the teacher had to persuade the girl he was working with to let go of the rope and dive for a ring -- which Julian can't do either but he certainly tries hard and eagerly).


I've had it. I'm really tired of being frustrated about swim lessons. I never felt that way at Water Babies, but I feel that way all the time now with all the other classes.

I'm no expert on teaching kids to swim, but I am now an expert on sitting on the sidelines and seeing nothing happening that easily could. I'm really quite certain Julian could easily be taught freestyle -- he's strong and confident and willing and eager. TEACH HIM, already!! I'd do it myself if he'd listen to me!

Fortunately I have some friends who share the same frustratins and have invested far more time and effort into their kids' swimming than I have, and have finally found good lessons, mostly private and semi-private ones taught by entrepreneurs in their backyards. Next summer I'm going straight to them.

My boys' swim lessons do show to some extent, but they should really be far, far more capable than they are given the time and effort they've put in already. I'm no expert on teaching kids to swim, but for the life of me I just can't summon enough creativity to explain why not to teach a capable willing 6-year-old to use his arms in the water. Try as a I might, I just can't craft a reason against it. At no time in my swimming education do I recall being deprived of this resource.

I do love Y camps; nostagically I learned to swim at a Y sleep-away camp, but now even beloved Y campsfall into my general umbrella of disgust at kids' swim lessons. I'm not an instant-gratification kinda gal; I know it takes a lot of time and build-up to learn to swim, but lost opportunities irk me, and this is one. Indeed, I blame the boring classes on Gabriel's lost interest -- he's actually a decent swimmer, and swimming fits well with his physical abilities, but he doesn't like swim classes. I can't blame him. Neither do I.

After this month, that's it for conventional swim lessons. Next summer, it's time to bring in the big guns!

After class, back at home, Katrina had a great time running around the front yard, chasing Gabriel's remote-control truck, teasing Dad about the mushrooms growing in the lawn, and just generally being silly. We use our front yard like this, in small short little snippets, all the time now. Before landscaping, months would go by and I just wouldn't make it near this area. Now it's fun to see what's bloomed, what's growing, what needs to be cut back, how things look. It's not perfect and now that it's there, there are things I'd do differently, but still -- WHAT a difference! It's FUN to be out there, instead of cringe-inducing!



8/2/2010

8/1/2010 Three Moms

I had a nice time catching up with friends at a Las Madres picnic today. I've been so out of touch, now that I've been working for 6 months. But these things always remind me what friendship and community is about.

One thing that was fun was trying get an update for this series of photos. Today's shot was taken in the same park, but a different spot.


September 2006. Left to right: Stef, Noemi, Betsy. Our babies arrived Nov.9, Oct.5, and Nov.15, respectively, all full-term.


June 2007, about 10 months later.


June 2009, two years from the last photo. We missed 2008 somehow. Our babies are 2-1/2 now.


August 2010. Another 14 months and now age 4 is coming up. It wasn't clear we'd be able to carry them for the photo -- this will be the last time!

Yay, later Sonia sent me this photo she took with her super-duper-uber good camera.


After all the park play, we got home and had another playdate. We don't have a lot, but the ones we do have are all arranged by Dave! A coworker has a son who's one year and grade older than Gabriel who visits in the summer, and they've gotten to be friends. That was nice.

Back to it tomorrow -- and then some. Day camps mean lots of preparing their things, lunch-making, a big break in the usual dropoff/pickup routine. I thought I'd be more excited about it, but I'm semi-dreading it. Especially after a weekend filled with lots of fun and great kid-time.

8/1/2010