Look what Dave surprised me with!!!!!! Yippeeeee!!!
Lots of nice wishes from friends & family, a night out with a fabulous dinner, a rare chance to really really talk to my witty insightful clear-thinking intelligent husband, a goat-cheese cheesecake with a glass of chocolate port that Dave insisted I try and was amazing.
I've complained endlessly that the worst part of my day is walking in the door after work with all 3 kids and having to leap right into the grueling work of homework, dinner, lunches, giving kids attention, general triage. All I really want is a few minutes to change my clothes, relax, and transition to my "home work."
Today I got us all home early enough that in theory, a few minutes to myself first was possible. But as I was changing my clothes, I heard Katrina screaming and crying in the backyard, and it wasn't stopping. It wasn't pain; it was like when Gabriel takes her little 12" bike and rides it around laughing and taunting her as she runs after him crying her broken little heart out.
Furious at getting my few minutes interrupted so rudely, I changed hurriedly and ran downstairs, to find Katrina trapped in the backyard because Gabriel had shoved the garbage cans up against the opening (he was supposed to put them away). Meantime, he and Julian were running around outside with their knapsacks on the ground, their lunches nowhere near the kitchen, and homework nowhere close to started. As usual.
I go through this every day, and habit does not make it easier. It only makes me madder, more upset, more depressed, and more frustrated every day at how difficult this part of the day is. The boys continued to disobey while I attended to Katrina's tears, and as usual were defiant and rude when I instructed them again to go put lunches away. Pretty much every step of the way -- literally, getting them in the door, is a huge struggle.
Usually we can recover around dinnertime, but only through a tremendous effort on my part. Tonight I talked to the boys about the recent C-17 crash in Alaska that grounded the C-17 demo at the Watsonville airshow last weekend, but some days I just don't have the energy or creativity to find something to distract them from their nonstop noisemaking, complaining, demands and making obnoxious repetitive sounds to irritate Katrina.
Katrina, on the other hand, has been the model child. Charming, talkative, helpful, cooperative, funny, smiling, even affectionate; full of happy chatter and astute observations. She has much more concept of continuity and sequencing than the boys did at her age; for instance, she knows her birthday is coming up and that's almost 4 and she talks about it a lot. She also remembers, or perhaps just communicates, surprising little details about things that happened a long time ago in her world ("Remember? Remember we had alphabet pasta at CAMPING?" (in August 2009 when you were 2, no I had forgotten about the alphabet pasta!) The boys at her age thought much more in-the-moment -- still do, really.
But it's difficult to enjoy her when I'm trying to make dinner and I hear a smacking sound followed by a pathetic wail and then a haughty, "well you DESERVED that." Then I have to send Gabriel to his room, never a simple affair -- he responds to the initial instruction with defiance, "NO I'm going to do my homework down HERE," and rudeness, "Can't you SEE you're in my WAY," and outright refusal, followed by my threatening to take something away (like dessert) if he doesn't comply immediately. He might walk away slowly, then he might return with an item from the office, and enter into the kitchen holding the item up. He'll walk up to me with no fear at all and show me the item (in this case a jack converter for headphones) and say deadpan, "If this were a weapon, I'd shoot you right now."
So much for "Send him to his room and that's it."
After the brief pause at dinner, Julian resumed the cause and was a nonstop litany of excuses, complaints, obnoxious comments and tones of voices, and then screaming and crying when even the slightest consequence was applied ("That's it, go upstairs now").
Would my not working full-time make this any better? Would having more time with them in the afternoon give us more margin for error, or only increase opportunity for conflict? I know well that full-time momming is no picnic and is very prone to the "green grass" syndrome. I can't say for sure if I was happier being a full-time mom, since the kids' phases of life were so different and I was so different. I started this job not long after Gabriel started kindergarten, though it was part-time until recently -- still, school life and work life hit together.
I like working, I like being around grownups and being focused during the day....but the transition to being a mom again in the afternoon is brutal.
Coffee, Cheesecake & Chatter! This time with a special guest: a Las Madres mom friend who moved to New Zealand, and just moved back (plus one more son and a dog). Great hearing about how life is where the grass really is greener.
You'd think I'd be immune to being impressed by what kids learn in school by the 3rd one, but I'm not for Katrina. I'm impressed.
I hope it's not because Katrina is a girl and I secretly harbor lower expectations for her, and I hope it's not because her brothers both showed some extraordinary abilities early on that she hasn't yet. I think it's mostly because she's really a lot younger than the boys were at this stage of her schooling and it's easier to be surprised when she is up to "grade level" for lack of a better term.
And I'm also just a proud mom of a happy, delightful, charming, engaging, bright little light in our household, bringing joy streaming through the clouds of gloom and fury that her brothers have been dusting up.
Katrina's pre-K schoolwork consists of 7 or 8 worksheets a week, that teach things like opposites, shadow shapes, upper and lower case, sequencing, picking a different item out of a list of items, matching shapes, finding objects in a drawing. Some of this is stuff kindergartners do.
Here she traces numbers, then writes them, then traces the word version of the number.
Here she circles the opposite image.
And check out her name! She has handwriting! And it's already pretty darned close in quality to the boys'! Somehow, both boys have the worst handwriting in their classes.
Gabriel, meantime, is flubbing the one subject we always thought would be a breeze for him -- math. He says he gets tired, he says he doesn't have enough time. Looking at something sort of like a math test he had to take, he made sloppy mistakes that I know he knows easily (e.g. 17 - 9 = 12). I'm not sure what's going on here, but his teacher mentioned he gets tired during math, and he says so too. Time of day relative to recess and/or lunch? I don't know, but something's going on.
Julian goes between complaining about doing his work, to not wanting to stop. His teacher is not impressed with his socializing and inability to stay focused on his classwork. But Julian can be very very focused without distraction, and he can be very serious about his schoolwork too. It's easier to get him to do his work than Gabriel.
But so far, Katrina takes her schoolwork seriously and really seems to enjoy it. Before you think she's being shackled academically, she comes home with more art projects and drawings and paintings and sand in her shoes from playing outside than worksheets. She's getting plenty of fun and play too at the marvelous nicely balanced preschool she's in. But though she stubbornly refused to do her worksheets at first, now she enjoys them and takes pride in them. She may yet be our star student!
I've been sick all weekend, except today mostly due to tons and tons of sleep and rest after we got home yesterday. I wasn't so sick as to miss an airshow -- I liked the distraction, even if I had to blow my nose every 5 minutes.
I don't have time to write a lot -- busy night for us after a busy day getting rid of things in the garage (YAYAYAYAAYAYYYYY), then swimming on a hot afternoon with friends. Full writeup of the airshow later, but a few teasers here.
On their way to my favorite plane, the C-17. Unfortunately one crashed a few weeks ago rehearsing for an airshow, so they're grounded for demos right now. But we did get to walk in and get up to the flight deck. I talked to the same pilot who'd flown it at the airshow at Edwards last October! Coool!
I was really psyched to see this lovely B-25 fly -- a new restoration after 18 years of work, and then get a very quick chance to climb up into the cockpit. This is the land-based plane that flew off the USS Hornet in the Doolittle Raid, our first attack on Japan after Pearl Harbor.
We saw a lot of great stunt flying, including by two women and a 20-year-old man. Katrina's favorite was the "shark plane."
My favorite is always the C-17, but I was thrilled to be buzzed by an F-18. It came in SO fast that you couldn't hear it at first -- it was already past us by the time its tremendous jet boom sound caught up and nearly flattened the crowd. Truly eerie to see a plan go by so fast and so silently -- at first. "Outrunning its sound" is how they described it. Not bad for a Navy plane.
Busy morning tomorrow, Dave has an 8am meeting, we have cleaners coming, and I have a ton of work to do. We talked to the boys sternly tonight: NO TOYS in the morning AT ALL. Get up and get dressed and go downstairs. NO TOYS. I hate saying that, but our labor starts tomorrow, the day after Labor Day.
I've been looking into some sort of backyard play structure to give the kids a consistent thing to do outside. At first I looked at Craigslist and Costco, but our funky-shaped yard really needs something made to fit into it. I've been to Kiddie World and Rainbow Play Structures, and both have things that would work for us, though I've really been hesitating about the price and about taking over the entire backyard.
Today we all went to Rainbow play structures so that Dave could see (I'd been there myself), and to bring the kids too. It's often instructive to see what the kids are attracted to, though it doesn't say much about what they'll like playing with later.
This is what the kids most of the time we were talking to the salesguy about play structures.
So we asked about the trampolines, and the more we talked about it, the more we both like the idea. Trampolines can be moved -- not easily, it'd take two people, but they can be moved. And removed more easily than a play structure. Modern trampolines don't have those springs that cause most trampoline injuries. This one is permeable, so water and sunlight get through, so any lawn underneath has some prayer of survival (a minor concern really). You can get accessories like a foam snowboard to practice flips (!) and a basketball hoop. The guy said kids even have outdoor sleepovers on trampolines, they make a good sleeping surface. A trampoline might have more longevity -- Gabriel will outgrow swings in a few years, but even teenagers like trampolines. Swings and slides can be found at all playgrounds, including at school, but trampolines aren't.
So now we're thinking about a trampoline instead of a play structure. It's uglier and seems more special-purpose, but kids flock to them when given the choice over a play structure. Hmm.
As always, leaving the party (it was just an indoor showroom after all, not a playground) is challenging. Katrina was outraged.
I'm happy to say these tantrums are far less frequent now, and usually less intense too.
A very very lazy day for us, other than our play structure shopping, and a short swim for me this morning. I'm still not feeling great, which was our primary reason for not doing today what we will do tomorrow: The Watsonville Fly-In and Airshow!
Our sons are really getting out of control. Rudeness and resistance and not-listening (modern-speak for "disobeying"). It's becoming unbearable. Dave picked them up at the CDC today and found them each sitting alone at a separate table, with the rest of the kids in a group playing together, both on timeout.
Getting them to get ready in the morning is a painful exercise in irritation, being ignored, and them screaming and shouting when any consequence is carried out. Gabriel raises his fist and Julian throws himself in the floor in a dramatic display of how put upon he is. Then it starts all over again when they get home from school and have to put their lunches and knapsacks away.
I do love having two boys, but this week the one girl has been far, far more rewarding. In fact Katrina has been delightful and pleasant and charming -- as she always is, but without the tantrums masking it.
I was home sick today, but ended up working harder than I ever do at work, because of the lack of interruption. Until our noisy obnoxious boys got home that is. Now I know where the boarding school concept came from!
Our elementary school had a back-to-school night tonight. This means all 3 kids went to the CDC (for a special after-hours care for the occasion), while Dave went to Gabriel's 3rd-grade classroom and I went to Julian's 1st-grade classroom.
I like Julian's new teacher, and I think I'm going to like first grade better this time around. Mostly because we're used to it now, but I also like the emphasis the teacher places on writing. The kids write in a journal every day for 20 minutes, and later in the school year they'll each read from their journal. That's the "show and tell." Parents' questions were about what the math curriculum is, and what they'll learn in the tech lab -- this is Silicon Valley of course -- but overall I've always been impressed that the teachers don't really cave to that.
And this first grade has a weekly homework packet, instead of every day. YAY. That will definitely simplify life. In 3rd grade, if the kids don't turn in their homework, they miss recess to work on it. Double YAY. Some actual real consequences and reasons for the kids to make choices themselves.
Julian's teacher told me he's having some trouble with writing with his cast, but she found as I did that most of the trouble is with his complaining and not really trying. This makes it hard to see what his actual limitations are, but I think we'll get past this soon. It seems this injured wrist incident has kicked off a hypochondriac phase.
Gabriel's teacher told me that he's having trouble staying awake in class?! Low energy -- she's been making sure he eats something at snacktime, and he dozes off during math time. Low energy, Gabriel? I assured her we get him to bed on time (we aim for lights-off at 8pm, it's usually later but not much), but he gets up really early. Very strange, he doesn't act sleepy at all at home on weekends.
Julian got his cast today, but that wasn't the biggest event.
This morning, he tripped and fell on his way into the CDC, and bonked his head good. So he started off the day with a massive goose egg on his forehead. This kid is by far the most accident-prone of the three.
Then Dave and I both got calls from the school around 9:30. Julian was complaining about his head and a lump in his throat, and got himself sent to the office. I was in the world's most annoying and consuming meeting at the time and didn't get the message, but Dave did.
Dave went to the school with skepticism, knowing that a head-bonk doesn't mean he has to leave class. When he arrived to pick up Julian, Dave told Julian he'd take him right to the doctor. "Wait, Dad!" Julian tugged on him, then motioned to whisper in his ear, "I forgot to put on underpants today!"
So that was the reason!!
Dave had to bring him home and check him out though, and I suggested he try to get the cast done today too. But Julian was just fine, wanting to work on science experiments and drinking without any problem (despite his supposedly lumpy throat), and after some time Dave said "this is silly" and brought Julian back to school.
Dave's efforts in making an appointment with the orthopedist paid off though, and they got a 3:00 appointment for a proper cast. We asked for a waterproof cast, which is one that can get wet and that itches can be addressed by pouring water down the cast. It comes in colors, but when "gold" wasn't available, Julian opted for white.
Buckle fractures, I've learned from some basic Googling, are very common in children and relatively minor. They happen because children's bones are softer, and it's really just a compression of the bone, with no angulation -- that is, not a real break. A large percentage of kids' fractures occur in the forearm, and a large percentage of those occur in the wrist, and are simple buckle fractures.
This makes me very, very glad we saw a pediatrician, who said that many doctors miss these fractures because the usual symptoms aren't present in buckle fractures. She recognized it right away, minutes after the nurse who weighed Julian (44 lbs) commented that it probably wasn't a fracture because of the normal way he swung his arm as he walked. Buckle fractures heal more quickly than other fractures too.
They're so minor and common that there's even controversy about whether or not they need a real cast. A splint could probably address it, but kids tend to remove splints if they're removable. Other than the cast removal, casts are actually very convenient and easy to live with.
It was a struggle getting him to finish some of his schoolwork tonight; he was fussing and complaining about not being able to write, but he wasn't trying. I wanted to see what his real impediments were, and if we could address them somehow (e.g. a pillow to elevate his elbow). As soon as he really tried, it was clear that he can learn how to write if he practices. In a few days, he won't even notice he has the cast. Until he figures out what a great built-in weapon it is, that is.
No photos today; it was a very very hectic afternoon and day. Not as hectic as this morning, which was apparently so hectic that even underwear as forgotten!
Some days I wish I were juuust sick enough to stay home, but not sick enough to be bedridden and not get anything done. So much piles up on me during the week that can only get done during the day that I just need a day to get them done.
Thanks to Julian, I got that day today. Or half of it.
I spent the morning watching him carefully and holding my hands behind my back, making him do everything for himself with his left hand, with some help from his fingers on his right hand. It's hard not to help him, but it was important to see how he can maneuver and adapt to the impairment of his dominant hand. Overall he can function quite well, and he's really game about it too, no whining or complaining. The only thing he couldn't do is snap his pants, so I gave him some sweatpant-cutoff-shorts to wear.
I took the boys to school and talked to the CDC first. Partly about his arm, but also about bills, a camp day coming up, back-to-school night, homework club. Whew. Dropped our PTA donation off at the school office, which is always closed when I'm at school.
Then I went to wait with Julian in front of his class to talk to his teacher, and had to shoo Gabriel away. Unfortunately, their classes are right in sight of each other and the temptation to pester each other before class is powerful. I did catch Julian's teacher and chatted with her briefly about his new handicap. She thanked me for letting her know and said if he really can't write, then she'd let him dictate to her. He can sort of write, but it's not easy. Erasing is impossible.
Next, deposit a check in the bank (the old-fashioned way). Trip to Target to buy sweatpants for Julian (and Gabriel while I was there). Home to make a zillion phone calls: 3 doctor's appointments for me, another doctor for a prescription refill, reschedule our cleaners from Labor Day, call Julian's pediatrician, call two financial institutions with questions, send email to our landscaper about a few dead plants, compose and send an inquiry about a weekend nanny, answer a few lingering emails about parties, check availability for gymnastics parties.
Yay! A tiny bit of catching up! This never happens! Personal phone calls at work have to happen on my crackly cell phone in my car, when I don't have access to a computer, and it's a serious pain. I don't send much email from work; I don't have time, I don't have all the information I need that's at home. And, it's unseemly for my boss's boss to walk in my cube and catch me not working.
All I missed at work today was a long boring all-hands meeting. An important enough meeting that the company reserved a conference room at the Embassy Suites, and my poor beleaguered manager had to call everyone in my group on their cell phones to make sure they attended (handily, I don't carry a cell phone). In general, engineers love all-hands meetings; it means it's quiet in the office and you get concentrated work done as everyone else fidgets and yawns while the execs ramble on. But no less dull for its import.
And I had a GREAT reason to miss it -- I had to take care of my son with the fractured wrist. If a few extra errands sneak in there too, so much the better. If I get months' worth of errands done in one morning, REALLY better!
This morning, the boys got up early and were engaged in these unusually innocent shenanigans: some sort of combination of song and rapping. Julian's hard to hear, but actually he's pretty good at making up rhymes! (His grin and the rhyme "late pass" give a good clue as to what non-kid-word he was rhyming with.)
They were up doing this together for at least half an hour before I reluctantly had to put the kibosh on it. Time to get dressed for school, dudes.
Today when I picked the boys up from the CDC, they ran outside and Julian tripped over a curb and fell. A perfectly normal fall, benign, landed soft...but boy did he make a fuss over his arm. The same one that he'd fallen on on Saturday, and that he'd been complaining about on and off. The same one that in the video above, he's using to handle Legos and moves around quite naturally and normally.
It's been over 48 hours since the fall, and the intensity of his complaint made it clear it needed to be seen. I called Dave and said "Plan change!"
Dave came home early and took Katrina to her last (yay) swim lesson while I took Julian to an Urgent Care center, one that actually has a pediatric unit and is open late. We had to wait a while, but the nice young doctor poked his arm a little and observed how he responded. "Might be a buckle fracture," she said right away, and explained that many kids can still use their arms pretty well but it's very sensitive in one place. She called for an X-ray.
Sure enough -- buckle fracture on the ulna and radius (two places), in his right wrist.
Not serious, but it is a fracture, it is very sensitive and needs to be casted. He got a temporary splint tonight, and will see an orthopedic hand doctor in a few days for a real cast.
In the same month, Julian's broken our no-emergency record twice with stitches and a cast. One happened on August 03 and the other on August 30 (somehow he managed to escape Friday the 13th). Can we make it to September without another injury please?
Another strange day for me. I was wired from not sleeping well, and the kids woke us up early -- so I went out running! Despite being way overtired and having a bad headache, I had one of the best runs I've had in many weeks. Nervous energy I guess. I crashed hard later though.
It seems it's so hard for us to catch up on things that need to be done around here -- we still have moving boxes in the garage that haven't been unpacked! But today my goal was to go through the landscaping -- trimming trees, cutting out dead flowers, pulling weeds. I'd asked Dave to get a lawn cart to make this job easier, and what he found borders on a toy. Perfect to attract a helper!
I gave Katrina her own pair of gloves, and she made wonderful company. She pulled the cart for me and put clippings in the cart. Later she found her own rake and helped me pick up mimosa flowers from the sidewalk. She was great company, chatting happily and just seeming so happy to be outside and doing the simplest thing together. And I was very very happy to have her with me.
She's been really easy lately. When she sheds the black cloak of the the tantrum, a charming delightful funny little girl is found within. She's overall so much more cooperative than her brothers, and lives for more than killing each other as they do. Her joy and enthusiasm for just being outside, taking delight in every new discovery, is infectious.
And for me, having the happy company of a child turns a borderline chore into a fun and rewarding afternoon outside.
Dave and I had planned to split childcare since Katrina's preschool was closed, but I ended up staying home the morning I was supposed to go to work. Partly, I'd had a horrible night being woken up out of sound sleep by a painful crampy tummy and sprints to the bathroom, and partly my windpipe was tightening up with the rumblings of my usual bronchitis.
So I stayed home in the morning, with Dave and Katrina there as planned, but I still had to work, including an intense conference call that drained me. Dave and I were both able to get substantial work done with our delightful little girl around -- she's amazingly easy when there are no brothers around. She plays and sings to herself happily for a long, long time, and cooperative if we ask her to do something. I found it a little distracting on my conference call because I wanted to just listen to her talk out her little stories to herself.
Dave went to work when I was done with the call, but instead of resting (and I could have with Katrina there), I ended up working some more. After giving Katrina lunch, I took her with me into work, to "plug in an orange string" as I explained to Katrina (move a fiber-optic cable from one port to another on a piece of test equipment). On the way home, she and I checked out another play-structure company, and I found another option that could work in our grownup yard. I'm having a hard time parting with the numerous 0s this will take though.
But I was really wiped out. Headache, losing my voice, very unstable intestines. As soon as Dave got home from work, I did the bare minimum to make the appearances of caring for my family, found some pharmaceuticals, and went right upstairs to lie down for the rest of the evening.
First, I intercepted Dave reading to Katrina...or rather, Katrina's "KittyKat" reading to Dave. Hard to tell in this video, it's a little easier in the 2nd half, but Katrina is doing some combination of recognizing the word (this is a book she knows, but not well), and remembering it after she sees the first letter. She knows about sounding out words and does that sometimes too, though not here.
She's on her way!
And lucky me, we'd just gotten The Bourne Identity from Netflix. Not usually my kind of movie, but I'd caught a snippet of it on TV and wanted to see the whole thing. I'm finding myself hooked on a series of new TV shows on the USA network: Burn Notice, Royal Pains, White Collar and Covert Affairs. Except for Royal Pains (which is mostly cute and funny), the others are all spy-sort of mystery shows.
So The Bourne Identity is right up my new alley. I like seeing how resourceful and clever these spy-like characters are, and I like Matt Damon. So, I mostly lay flat in bed all evening and watched the movie. Dave wasn't watching it at first, but he can't resist a car-chase scene that involves a Mini!
This morning wasn't much better. First, I had to jump-start my voice; it was blocked to a whisper until it was warmed up enough. The headache persisted, and I was really really tired from my super-duper cough medicine. I got up the latest possible that I could and still get all 3 kids to a birthday party on time, which I didn't, we were late, but we were there.
This was a fun swim party. Chilly at 10am, but the water was warm and once the kids were in, they had a great time. I'm happy to say that I didn't have to stay RIGHT next to Katrina the whole time. Arguably I was negligent by standing at the sidelines and watching her from a distance, but now she won't just dunk herself and not know enough to stand up, as was the case just a few months ago. She was very cautious and stuck to the sides. I was in a swimsuit and ready to dive in after her if need be, but I didn't feel the need to sit at the poolside and watch her like a hawk.
In fact, all the parents hung around on the side at a distance, and no one was wearing swimsuits (one Dad went in to play though) -- a far cry from the old days when we all had to be in suits and sit in the pool ourselves and hang onto our toddlers. This is definitely better.
After the swimming, we went to a small play structure next to the pool, more a younger-kid thing, but with enough slides and steps and things to climb on to interest this group of mostly 5-6-year-olds. I was chatting with some friends with my back to the play structure when I heard a collective gasp, and turned around to see a child crumpled on the ground.
It took a few moments to realize it was one of mine, and that he was yelling. My friends who'd seen it said Julian had gone right over a slide and landed headfirst on the bouncy plastic covering, but he was complaining about his arm. He never cried exactly, but said his arm really hurt. He could move it and bend it and wiggle his fingers, so I didn't really think anything was wrong. He said it really hurt though.
On the drive home, he complained again and again about his arm, saying that if anyone touched it, it hurt. Gabriel was surprisingly concerned, giving me updates every few seconds. When we got home, I brought Julian upstairs, gave him some ibuprofen, and got him to lie down in bed. I noticed a very natural arm swing, an unconscious nose scratch, and general normal motion, so I wasn't worried. I told him to rest for a while, let his body figure out what it needed, and then we'd take care of it. Gabriel kept asking about Urgent Care, but I told him we'd wait.
Sure enough, half an hour later, Julian was up and shouting at Gabriel about some or other offense related to a toy. When I got up from a cold dead nap myself, he was fine and it was all forgotten. He'd gotten a big jolt going headfirst over the top of a slide, and falling about 5 feet, but nothing major.
Me on the other hand...I never got going today. I did absolutely nothing except shuffle around and consider my woes. Headache. Super sleepy feeling. Tightness in my windpipe that causes my voice to go in and out. No energy. No desire to exercise. Just a complete, hopeless, useless slug.
Completely busy today at work, and not feeling so well either. And needed to work tonight to prepare for a conference call tomorrow. Which is ironic because when I don't feel well like this (cold-like), it often goes straight to my voice and the one thing I really don't like to do is talk on the phone. Today could well be a Monday and I wouldn't know the difference.
I totally deserve it....just finalized Dad's Medicaid application, including scanning all ***54*** pages (actually that's leaving out some pages in long legal docs like PoAs). This is a HUGE to-do crossed off!
Getting home from work with all three after school is still very tough, but made SO SO SO much easier by Gabriel's "homework time" at the CDC. It's not so much the homework itself, but all the time I don't have to spend chasing him down, cajoling, reminding, warning, peeling him off of Julian, trying to distract Katrina away from him....it's SO SO SO much work just *getting* him to DO it. Seems having the entire group doing it at the same time makes all the difference. I am eternally grateful to the CDC for taking this stone out of my backpack.
And now, I'll go replenish some of that weight with a worthy cause: cheesecake!
There's a whole new set of staff at the CDC, all of who I'm very relieved to say I really like. One girl who seems to be in more charge than the others, I chatted with on the first day. Katrina happily told her "after I'm done with pre-K, then I'm coming here!" All the staff universally loves the idea of all 3 kids together -- or rather, of Katrina being there, perhaps to defuse the boys.
I told the girl that I highly recommended as much separation of the boys as possible, as they can really get active together. "Don't worry, we can handle it," she assured me. Then they started their usual shoving and messing around, and she laughed and said, "that's fine, we're used to this."
Today when I picked the boys up, the same girl looked traumatized. "This morning...." she started, "Oh my gosh. Your husband was already really mad at them, and they just didn't quit when they got here!" She seemed genuinely rattled. "It's so early in the morning, and they are all over each other, nonstop!" I didn't have the heart to say "yeah sorry....told ya." She gathered herself and continued, "So we just try to keep them apart as much as possible." Uh-huh. I TOTALLY agree.
One glorious moment came when I asked Gabriel about homework in the car on the way home, and he said (oh it gives me such joy to experience this moment again): "I already did it, Mom."
HE ALREADY DID IT!!
That's because there's now "homework time" for the older kids. The 3rd-graders and up spend most of the afternoon in a different building, away from the K-2s. AND, apparently, they get their homework done there. YIPPPEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! This made a really noticeable difference in our evening, in not having to bug Gabriel. If this keeps up it will be a huge improvement in our lives.
Julian's first assignment is -- get this -- to write a story about himself. His preferences, hobbies, pets, things he did this summer. Parents are supposed to help of course, but this isn't a matter of collecting popsicle sticks. By the very nature of writing, it should be done on your own, or the "help" you get is pretty much doing it. I think this is a pretty advanced assignment for brand-new first graders!
I gave Julian ideas, talked with him about things he did. I pretty much came up with the ideas ("what about T-ball?"), he said the sentence, and then I spelled the words for him while he wrote them down. This took some concentrated time, which was challenging while I was making dinner, nuding Gabriel to get on with his reading, and having to run upstairs to get a dress for Katrina. But we got it done. Seems like these days we get a lot of things done, but just barely.
For now, we're paying for morning CDC care to drop them off at 8am (40 minutes before school starts), so that we can avoid traffic and get a slightly earlier start on our day. Me the firm night person, the morning-hater, is getting to work at 7:50am these days -- and still working on nuding that earlier. Two of my coworkers also get to work that early too -- but after getting up at 5am and exercising first!!! URHGHGHLLLL!!
Traffic has been really bad since school started, so I need to leave work AT 4:30 on the dot, which really means I need to arrive at to work at 7:30 in the morning if I'm to fit in any exercise into my life. (Incredibly I forced myself to go running at lunch, and regretted it until I was done. It was borderline dangerously hot.)
It's a miracle I even get anyone's fingernails trimmed.
As far as I'm concerned, summer is over. School started, days are getting shorter -- we're done. It's been a very very cool and overcast-morning summer anyway.
Until today. Suddenly today, summer weather kicked in. It's HOT! What the heck happened?! Summer, where were you?!
Of course, this is one of the most wonderful things about living here in the Bay Area. I moved to California expecting to escape winter, but found that you still can't go surfing after work in January because it still gets dark early. But summers -- ahhhh, no humidity, no bugs, no stickiness, no oppressive nights. It's actually too cold for me in summers here, but we do enjoy great comfort in July and August as compared to our East Coast counterparts (provided you stay out of San Francisco that is).
But, I'm still done. Winter, dark, rain -- bring it on.
Katrina in her "Super Cute" shirt from Bonne Maman -- she loves it. I went down unusually early for a Sunday to work on some cinnamon rolls, and Katrina joined me. She's great company, chatting happily and asking questions and always being so happy about the answer.
Then she wanted to make scrambled eggs with me. OK, she's not too young! I took her through every step, up to the mixing, which she did a very good job of. That was a nice start to the day. I just love baking and cooking with kids.
Then we went to Kiddie World to check out playstructures -- can we fit one in our grownup yard now? Sort of. They're not cheap though, so a little due diligence with competitors is called for.
Being a single parent this weekend, somehow I felt extra pressure to be a Great Mom and do something Really Fun and Extraordinary and Amazing with my children.
Instead, I stayed in bed as long as I could. I didn't even have the energy to gather everyone and everything to get to the Y in time for a workout before the Childwatch closes at 12:30. I did have to get up to give Katrina breakfast at 7:30 -- she was dressed and complained that no one was helping her (often the boys will get her cereal). I got her started and went back to bed until almost 10. I am so glad to be past the baby GETUPNOW phase.
But despite my lack of energy and persistent need for a nap all day, I managed not to be too too negligent. Gabriel and I made French toast together, which he loves to do. I really enjoy the pride he gets from making it himself. I had to reach some things and talk him through all the steps, but he pretty much did all of it, including handling the stovetop flame. This boy will go away to college being an expert French-toast maker!
After a drudgerous but necessary run to Staples for some school supplies, I pulled the ping-pong table out of the garage, and set it up for the first time in our new backyard. I found a perfect spot where both players could be on pavement. The boys had a great time, playing for an hour and a half, without fighting. They even had some rallies going, but they also made up games and laughed a lot. I was very happy to see that.
Meantime Katrina played out front by herself, also for well into an hour and a half, largely because her brothers weren't bugging her. She was walking along the retaining wall, exploring the bushes and plants, sitting on the bench, running her fingers through the tanbark, teetering on the little rock river.
It surprises me to read on Facebook that other moms are enjoying their kids being 8 because they can play on their own so much better now -- this seems to be a common thing, but it's completely out of my world. All three of our kids have been extraordinarily self-entertaining since they were very, very young. Most parents admire this and smile and say "oh that's great!", but I can't even say if it's great or not. It's just how it's always been. We never made it a goal or worked toward developing independence or anything, they just did that. (Could it be that my own dim interest in kids-only activities, the dearth of extra-curriculars, my inability to join their world, played a role in that?)
Anyway, independent or not, one could safely argue I shouldn't let my 3-year-old play out front by herself for so long without supervision, but I did check on her (ok, once), and truth is, that's very normal for her, and us. I didn't go so far as to take a nap while she was out there though.
But neither Katrina nor the boys would have lasted nearly as long outside if it weren't for our new landscaping. There's so much more to do and see and play in; there's shady places and stepping stones and open areas and places to hide, climb, and search for bugs and mushrooms; there's things to dig in and draw on...it's visually rich, it has many textures and levels and colors and curves and angles and is a very appealing place to be. I'm delighted.
In the late afternoon, I trooped them all into the car to drop off a Baba Au Rhum holiday cake I had to try making, then decided I had to capitalize on the capture. If they're all strapped into the car, I'm going to make the most of it! I took them to Michael's, and had a brainstorm as I was parking: it was time to address Julian's adorable moptop.
This turned into haircuts for all three. Just the way I like it: no planning, no waiting. Gabriel's hair was still short from the lice episode, but getting scraggly and uneven around the edges. I wasn't planning on a trim for Katrina, but she asked for it and it's always wise to have a pro even out her bangs after my hacking at them, plus her hair is getting pretty long in the back. And shoulder-length is so cute on her. You can see in photos how pretty her hair is, but it's really glorious in real life. Smooth, swingy, full of body, beautiful multi-colored streaks, super-soft and healthy.
Back at home, the park play continued, with all three of them going around with these silly toys of animal heads on sticks with mouths that can open, picking up pieces of tanbark or hanging them from branches. Naturally for the boys these became guns and vehicles of destruction.
Some of the play wasn't so constructive, like when the boys threw tanbark and clumps of dirt onto a patio, which turned into half an hour of them sweeping it up. It'd have been a whole lot easier to put them on time-out than make them sweep, since that created a lot of work for me checking on them every few minutes. You can't leave two boys alone with brooms for long, they become weapons very quickly. But in the end they did a pretty good job.
We didn't do anything Extraordinary or Amazing today, but just being at home, playing, running, imagining -- and even being bored sometimes -- is exactly what everyone needed.
Friday night, we had a milk emergency. One new half-gallon that morning had turned up sour, then a second half-gallon that night. This left us with no milk, a big crisis. With Dave out of town, the only choice was to pack up the troops after dinner and make a run to Trader Joe's. I was absolutely exhausted and not in the mood to go anywhere, but this was urgent.
Fortunately, our closest TJ's has Ricardo. This is a stuffed penguin that gets hidden somewhere around the store for kids to find, and earn themselves some sort of prize if they do. The real prize is for the parents, whose kids are immediately consumed with the search instead of shoving, spinning, running, pinching and drawing aggravated looks from anyone within 30 feet. You have to be OK with the kids being out of sight as they scour the aisles, but you all know me by now -- to me, that's the whole point.
And the boys found Ricardo! They were very excited and happy about it, not even objecting to a TJ's staffer taking a photo of them. The photo gets put up on a wall of friends, next to a drawing of Ricardo. And, they all got lollipops. I really, really hate lollipops. Sticky, can't set them down anywhere, and they immediately expose my parent-scrooginess. I told them all to finish them before we got in the car, because there was no way in hel...in the world those things were getting anywhere near the car. For once, all 3 complied.
It's an astounding drag to get everyone into and out of the car for what should be a quick trip, but Ricardo made it fun. Thanks, Ricardo!
