2/11/12 Back Week

Hmm, I haven't blogged much this week. It's been an interesting week, with being partially disabled with this back problem and attending doctor's and physical therapy appointments and needing to lie down a lot.

Somehow I accidentally got involved on some high-profile projects at work, and when they hit, they hit fast. It's been a real challenge -- not so much technically, but rather struggling with how to handle myself with real customers, both on the phone and in person. I'm keenly aware that the livelihood of the salesperson I'm backing up depends a lot on how I conduct myself. My main strength, which is intense technical discussion, can be a liability -- not all customers want to be bludgeoned by the icky ins-and-outs. I'm getting coaching, but there's no doubt this isn't natural to me.

And there are tricky discussions, such as if I'm working with one vendor to spec something out, and that vendor asks if we're looking at other vendors (Cisco, anyone?). My way is to blurt out the truth -- I need to learn how to, and more importantly when to, delicately sidestep the question.

I've never felt like such a geek in my life -- something I aspired to and would normally be proud of, but now I'm not so sure! Everyone seems to love my research and write-ups though. I'm much better behind the scenes, safely hidden away in a closet.

I'm finally walking without a cane! I tried exercising this morning for the first time, with mixed results. I can feel real pain in my lower back now, and worse, the foot-buzzing is back. This hasn't happened for a while, but it's happening now: when I sit for too long, my feet buzz and get irritated and eventually fall asleep. It's really uncomfortable.

Today Katrina came down from her room showing off her new TinkerToy contraption: "Look Mom, I made a cane!" Uggh! I hate that my children will remember this awful weakness of mine.

And Ski Week is coming up!! I am SUCH an idiot, and I was SO upset on Friday: I finally called Sugarbowl to make ski school reservations, thinking it wouldn't be a problem with two weeks' lead time. Nope! Full!!! Waiting list!! I couldn't believe it -- I've been planning on going to Sugarbowl and taking kids to ski school there for months, and I waited WAY too long to make the reservations that our whole trip hinged around. ARGH!

Partly, I putzed because I wasn't sure if or when Laura and Ryan could join us, but they told me in plenty of time (that they couldn't make it, sniff), and I still didn't make the reservation. I'm so focused at work it's really hard to take that 15 minutes out to make the call.

But....joy! I got a call today from Sugarbowl's Mountain Learning Center: they managed to fit us in!! The timing isn't perfect; it's spread across 4 days instead of 3, but still, whew. As I told my ski friend, "dumbasses can't be choosers." Now I CAN'T WAIT, despite the challenging logistics of not having everyone in ski school together. Looks like Gabriel and I will be skiing a lot together (yay).

But my back had better cooperate....limp limp.

2/11/12

2/9/2012 the lunch mistake

Last night, when I made lunches, everyone got the same sandwich: cream cheese and jelly. Sometimes, especially when my back is hurt, everyone has to "suffer" with the same lunch.

Katrina didn't take this affront so lightly, and spent the better part of the afternoon at the CDC writing me a letter:

Dear Mom, I don't like cream | cheese and normal | yellow cheese Please, please start Wowbutter again, don't end Wowbutter again. Love, Katrina

with lots of surrounding blah blah blah blah blahs....

OK, so, tomorrow I guess it's "Wowbutter" (a soy substitute) for lunch!!

2/9/2012

2/6/2012 Bedtime!

I spent most of the day curled up on my bed, napping on and off. I'm very grateful that we have so many new channels now, from a recent change to our cable service. My back doctor couldn't see me today, but as usual, the physical therapists came through and I got an appointment there today.

This "annular tear" episode in my back is tricky -- I can actually stand up better than I usually can the first day, but there's a lot more pain than usual. Physical therapy usually makes me sore at first, but this time was much worse, it was really hard to walk to the car after treatment. But then, after lying down for a while, I can almost walk around "normally," though when I catch a glimpse of myself, I'm utterly pathetic.

As has happened before, it's interesting that of all the kids, Gabriel seems the most concerned. I have to wonder again if he's truly concerned about me, or if it's the very understandable kid-thing of not wanting to see your mother in a weak state. I remember when my mother had pneumonia when we were kids, and thinking she might have to go to the hospital -- it was terrifying. You'd think of all my kids, Gabriel would be the most blase, but it's quite opposite. I make light of it for his sake, but in truth I'm very frustrated that I'm so prone to being disabled in an instant.

Tomorrow: doctor, more rest, more ice, more drugs (prednisone advanced the healing fast last time), though I'll attempt to go into work in the morning. As much as I'm enjoying the Military channel, I'm getting tired of all this lying around!

2/6/2012

2/5/2012 Back goes blooey again

I should be writing about what a great time everyone had at Gabriel and Julian's birthday parties today -- and we did. It was one party package, but essentially two parties since each boy invited their own set of friends, and we were at the trampoline place where each group could do their own thing. It worked great; it was unusually un-crowded when we arrived, and immediately every kid was jumping and having a great time. I thought the biggest crisis would be when one of Gabriel's classmates' pants ripped completely open, which I dealt with by buying shorts at the trampoline place.

Just as we were about to do cupcakes, I was sitting at the table with Betsy and remarked to her that I felt something in my lower back, on the right side where the injury happens -- but it wasn't so bad because usually when my back snaps, it's instant and that hadn't happened. I shouldn't have said anything, because a few minutes later, lightning struck -- that's really what it felt like. A complete seize-up, and boom, it's cane city again.

Fortunately Betsy was there to help, she called Dave right away, and was able to help serve cupcakes, gather kids, and carry stuff to the car (thanks Betsy!!). Dave arrived with Katrina, and drove Gabriel and his new BFF, Raschelle, to her house to continue the playdate, while I drove Julian home. I took a hot bath, whatever drugs I could conjure up from last time, and spent the rest of the day in bed, with a break to have some dinner and hobble around to make kids' lunchs. Dave did the rest.

This stinks! What is wrong that my back has to do this?! This episode is among the most painful I've had, and by far the most shocking moment when it actually seized. And then, after zooming around this place perfectly healthy, and doing a lot of jumping myself, I had to hold someone's hand for help and then use a cane. How pathetic and embarrassing is that! This episode is up there with the really bad ones.

Well, on the bright side, at least I was done jumping and I'd had a great time with the kids, playing games and having them show me what they can do. And I got in a nice run Saturday morning, noticing that there was not a peep from my ankles. My back has been well-behaved for a while, but I think the seat-drop things I was doing with Julian's friend Jake were too much.

Tomorrow I'll be trying to get an appointment with my back doctor, and with physical therapists, the usual. I just don't want anyone to tell me I can't do stuff like that, it's just too fun and I have to figure out how to do a back flip first.

And the tired boys afterward was definitely worth it!

2/5/2012

1/31/2012 The Cereal Box Report

I've been joyfully uninvolved in the 4th-grade reports and projects so far -- to me, this is the way it should be!

That doesn't mean I don't expect good work from them. Gabriel's teacher agreed to Gabriel doing an extra report on the WWII B-24 Liberator bombers, and presenting it to his class -- a project I made up so that he doesn't think riding on one of these historic planes is just a joy ride. So I'm not completely lame.

And, thanks to Gabriel's 4th grade teacher, I kind of can be lame. The kids get to do some pretty fun projects, and without us!! The "Cereal Box Project" is always popular, and would make the anti-worksheet granola crowd happy too :)

Gabriel's teacher explains in a newsletter:

We also recently introduced a big book report project, the Cereal Box book report. Students are to design a cereal box based on a book they read as well as make a commercial in class to sell their cereal. This project has many steps, but we will be working on it in class a lot so as to make it as independent of a project as possible. The cereal box book report is always a favorite project for students and teachers alike!

Phooey to school, my head is still in Bear Valley!

1/31/2012

p.s. I finally finished and ordered my calendar -- should be arriving in your mailboxes soon!

1/30/2002 TEN!!

He's TEN today!!

All decade birthdays are exciting, but the first is really a big deal. The little-kid stuff (minus some obnoxious behavior and one teddy bear) is past, but the teenage stuff hasn't hit yet. I've been told many times that age 10 is the sweet spot, and so far, so true! Now is when the time flies, because the zits, long hair, sagging pants and bad attitudes aren't far off! These moments are much more to savor than when he was a baby.

I did a short year-by-year Facebook album too:
Gabriel growing up, year by year

1/30/2002

1/29/2012 Back from Bear Valley

I'm WAY too tired and have WAY too much unpacking to do -- and it is a school night and we didn't get back until past 8:30pm tonight.

But first, let me say -- grab your earplugs -- that we had **SOO**MUCH**FUN***!!. Logistics were manageable, location stunningly beautiful, people very nice, no major disasters. The mountain is still snow-challenged, but had more than enough for us. I loved Bear Valley.

We left on Saturday at 11:30am, since our lodge check-in time wasn't until 4pm. Going for Saturday night instead of Friday night was a traffic gamble: we know traffic is horrible leaving on Friday nights, but returning Sunday nights is more variable, and we weren't returning from Tahoe. This paid off perfectly -- we had no traffic in either direction, and the ski place was far less crowded on Sunday also.

Lunch was in Murphy's, a historic tourist town I've been to many many times, at a restaurant with a hillbilly theme and what appeared to be a genuine prison transport carriage.

The restaurant was decorated with all sorts of "hillbilly" cliches and amusing signs (Hillbillies Signs).

After lunch, into the mountains. When we got to about 5000 feet, there it was -- snow! We stopped at a vista point close to Bear Valley Village (where our lodge was, about 3 miles from the ski resort) to gawk at the gorgeous view, and play a little. So so pretty, and the kids were thrilled to be in snow again.

Naturally the boys wasted no time throwing snow at each other.

Katrina was nonstop delighted by just being in it, and constantly sing-songed "Snow! Snow! Snow! Snow!" She'd worn her snow boots all day for just this moment. (In fact I forgot to bring regular shoes for her).

I admired the views -- all ones I've seen before, but they look different every time and I never tired of them. In my motorcycling days, I'd never see it like this. Not because of snow on the road directly, but because this highway closes and you can't cross the Sierras on Hwy 4 until about June (and there's still plenty of snow on the side of the road then).

For once, cooperation!

We arrived at the lodge and settled in, and I was relieved to see there were plenty of places for the kids to play outside. The lodge was rustic and relaxed, and had a large cathedral-like central area for people to gather and relax -- and for the scores of ski-racer kids to zoom around playing hide-and-seek.

Meantime, my kids found a snowhill and played on it until the dark forced them inside.

Dinner was pizza on the beds in the hotel room watching a movie. I really liked not having to sit in another restaurant, and we just hung out and watched Forrest Gump.

Mad scramble in the morning to get to ski school in time! But this wasn't bad, we have a system now, the lodge served breakfast downstairs (very convenient) and Bear Valley ski school starts late (9:45). The only wrinkle was Katrina suddenly crying out in pain and saying that she was going to throw up -- and usually when she says that, she follows up -- but it passed, thank goodness.

I was delighted how easy it was to find and park at Bear Valley. It's ONE building. (Cripes, nothing like Heavenly with 9 entrances.) And oh, how very very pretty was everything around us.

Even the parking-lot views were spectacular. Maybe because we were just so snow-starved or something, or because it was a gorgeous clear sparkly day.

Getting everyone's rentals and equipment on and bathroom done before lessons is never fun, but I was quite happy to say goodbye to the kids for their lessons -- and mine!

Julian and Katrina had all-day lessons; Gabriel and I each had half-day lessons. I'd meet up with him for lunch, then we'd ski together in the afternoon. This is SO fun, I love spending this time with him! And he seems to greatly value it too.

Katrina, it turns out, once again didn't get off the "magic carpet." I hate that! It didn't really bother her, but she did say, "Mommy, I never got to go on the chair lift!" Her instructor said she can turn and stop and is definitely ready for the next level. Unfortunately, when you're 5, odds are you'll be a class with 4- and 5-year-olds who aren't ready for the lift, so you don't go either. This is exactly what sends us back to Sugarbowl. Getting Katrina skiing on her own will really change the way we do things, and at her age and level, a full-day ski school should make a huge difference -- and at $125 a pop, it better!

Still, I was impressed that Bear Valley does try to keep kids grouped by ability, and I understand that some mismatching is inevitable, especially at the younger ages. They did a great job with the boys -- and me. In fact, Gabriel and I each got a private lesson because no one else of our ability and age showed up for a lesson. That was great!. Gabriel's teacher said with sincerity what a joy he was to teach, really focused, really listened to her, very brave -- he made a lot of improvements during their lesson.

My teacher said much the same things about me, ironically. I wanted to learn 360s, and managed a few very ugly ones, and then tried again in the other direction unsuccessfully until it was time to go back up a lift. He commented, "Well, that tells me something about your tenacity." I don't know about that, but I do notice instructors are cautious with middle-aged women. I'm always up to try something new or hard with an instructor -- what better time to learn? (Later when I'm staring down a sheer-faced precipice and wondering if anyone knows what my favorite flower is for the funeral, I question that bravado -- or is it, braggado!) (For the record, lilacs.)

I learned about "hop" turns on this roughed-up hill ("Tiggers").

During my lesson, we came across Julian's lesson once, and he seemed like he was having a great time, if still his slightly tentative self.

Julian's teacher told me later that he loves his "hockey stops" though he can only do them on one side (errr...you're supposed to know both sides??). He's getting closer to real parallel turning, though when it got steeper, he'd revert back to the beginner "pizza" wedge," but he's really coming along. He's taking the slower technique path, which Gabriel never troubled himself with.

My last run, my instructor took me down a short black-diamond that is intimidatingly steep to skiiers at my level....er, me. Not being able to actually see the slope you'll be skiing on until you're committed to it is a little frightening.

But my instructor showed me how to sort of slip-slide down and across, and then how to pick turns. Lower down the slope, it turned into the best snow I've ever been on and I sailed down the run practically screaming "WHEEEE!!!! I was thrilled and ready for more, it was great.

But it was time to pick up Gabriel, and after talking to his teacher, she was confident he could do that run. She was really impressed with his focus and his bravery, and they did a lot of work on technique. He really listened to her and worked hard, and she said sincerely that teaching kids like him really makes this job worthwhile. And she's no college student looking for cheap lift tickets; she'd been teaching there for 25 years.

Nice open lunchroom, and I like the view of the whole "bowl" from the (one) lodge.

After lunch, I took Gabriel to the same great run I'd done just before picking him up ("National"). I love the view from the lifts.

A little navigation error put us at the bottom of a slope with a nonrunning lift, so we had a little bit of walking back up to do.

(That's Gabriel in the far right, walking back up to go around the trees.)

Then we figured out how to get to "National" -- but the ~2 hours since I'd done it had completely changed the complexion of the snow. Now, instead of the soft, forgiving, red-carpet treatment I'd gotten, it was crunchy, crusty, curmudgeonly and unforgiving. I'm certain it was also about 20 degrees steeper now -- honest!

Right away, Gabriel thought it was too hard for him, but we were already committed. He actually didn't act scared, he just said he couldn't do it. Now I had doubts that I could too -- and now I had Gabriel to worry about. He went down soft on purpose to keep from getting out of control.

But I remembered what my instructor had showed me about side-slipping first, and I showed Gabriel that. And that worked -- he made it down by side-slipping down and across, then lying on his back and flipping his skies to the other direction and going across to the other side.

(Really, this was a LOT steeper than the video shows).

It was slow going, but steady progress and I never felt we were in any real danger.

He did make a few actual ski turns and did fine on those, but mostly he slid his way down -- safely. I was really proud of him -- it was beyond his level (and mine), but he didn't cry or complain or give up, he'd take breaks and tackle it again. And he actually never fell! He said later he was a little freaked out by it, but he said it calmly and factually, and added that he doesn't need to try it again.

We spent the rest of the afternoon on moderate blues, and had a great time with that. I just loved the views, it seemed like every run was on a ridge and you could see far into valleys in every direction.

After picking up the other two and returning the rental gear and all that, we drove straight from the resort to Angel's Camp for dinner, then straight home. That would have gone better except the boys were being so annoying and rambunctious in the car -- throwing things, shoving each other, screeching, knocking into Katrina -- and no end of warnings would calm them. I asked them again and again to settle down, told myself I didn't really need to listen to the radio, warned them very seriously that the only way out of this was with them crying, and that would make all of us unhappy -- couldn't we fast-forward past the unhappy part and just get to the calm part? I gave them my iPhone to send texts, and that only made Katrina unhappy, so I had to give her a turn and then they were right back at it. I even uncapped a bottle of water and dumped some behind me onto Julian, and that only sent them into peals of laughter: "YOU MISSED!"

Finally after 115 miles and about 2 hours of nonstop chaos, and the 10th time my seat got shoved forward, I made good on my threat. I pulled off the highway, got out of the car, and vigorously smacked both of them. And whaddya know. Peace. I'm sure I'm supposed to regret my violence, but my only regret was that I hadn't done it a lot sooner.

Other than that typical behavioral blemish, it was such a delightful, if short trip. I was so happy the kids got to play in the snow when we arrived Saturday afternoon, then our cozy indulgent dinner-and-a-movie. It's time that brings us all together and makes me feel so close, like this is what it's all about. Having my children around me, facing the challenges of travelling together, seeing them delight in the simple pleasures in one of my favorite places in the world...these are the highlights of my life!

And the Highway 4/Murphys/Bear Valley area is filled with so much to do -- I got some great ideas for summer camping, and other recreation like ziplining. We were regulars to that area for many years with our annual trip to Sheepranch, and I think we will be again. I don't even think I'll miss Lake Tahoe that much...?!

1/29/2012

1/27/2012 Figure Skating

Tonight I met my friend Beth, her daughter Emma and a friend of hers, and took Julian and Katrina to see the U.S. National Figure Skating Championships! Beth is a longtime friend who I used to watch the U.S. Nationals together on TV, so it seemed fitting.

Tonight at HP Pavilion (formerly known as San Jose Arena, where the Sharks play), we saw the Men's Short Program. (I didn't choose, because I got the tickets free through work.) Katrina was so-so on it, but Julian was all over it! And of course my friend's little girls.

We all delighted in seeing Jeremy Abbott sail to a clear win -- even though the 4th-place competitor's father was sitting right next to us as we chatted a lot -- and look forward to the long program! (Which hopefully isn't this weekend, because The Plan is to drive to Bear Valley tomorrow.)

1/27/2012

1/26/2012 The Calendar Record

Yikes! I'm about to break a recorf for how far behind I fall in doing my annual calendar! The good news is, it's almost done, but strangely I have almost no photos for November. And Shutterfly's Web site is having trouble. But I've got to get it done before February, or I'm another month behind and have to wait another month to get photos!!

These life's errands just pile up, don't they...!

1/26/2012

1/25/12 Fashion Disaster

Good thing I don't fret about clothes matching -- color, texture, type or season! Today Katrina wore a light summer sundress with a sweater over it, and a pair of striped leggings under the polka-dot dress.

Adorable!

(Ummm, a friend might recognize all these clothes as hand-me-downs from her!)

Curse this time zone difference -- by the time there was any chance of assembling everyone to make a call to the East Coast, it was too late. Happy !!TENTH!! Birthday to my beloved nephew Aidan!! I can't believe you've been in our lives a whole glorious decade!

1/25/2012

1/23/2012 Odd inheritance

All 3 kids went to the dentist today, and we got the usual reports: they all need to floss better, and all three need braces.

But Katrina's X-ray showed something unusual: probably no wisdom teeth buds. It's not definitive at her age, but it looks like she just won't ever have any wisdom teeth.

Ever heard of that? Dave hadn't, and didn't believe me when I told him that I too never had 3 out of 4 wisdom teeth. 3 out of 4 just didn't exist -- like Katrina, no buds. (The 4th was horribly impacted and removed in a gruesome smash-em-bash'em-break'em surgery when I was 23.)

I already had odd tooth development as a child with them being so late and all (last baby tooth lost at age 17), but come to think of it, while I know it happens, I've never rapped with anyone else who just never had wisdom teeth (well, most of them in my case).

And now I know someone else with this trait. Of all things for my dear daughter to inherit, this is a good one!

1/23/2012

1/22/2012 The Sympathist

One of my numerous logistical errands this weekend was printing the boys' birthday party invitations and getting them to fill them out with their friends' names. I so overshot Julian's birthday -- and now Gabriel's -- that since I'd planned to have their parties at the same place anyway, I might as well combine them. Sort of. The date and time and place will be the same, but each boy will have their own set of friends, and they'll just have to live with the table and pizza being in the same place. Two separate cakes, of course.

This means that each boy invites 4 friends max, which actually works pretty well. That makes it more of a birthday playdate than a "party," and they actually interact with their friends more.

Both boys had an easy time naming party playmates, though Julian easily has a much longer list. Gabriel was decisive, and included a kid named David who was in his 2nd-grade class as well as his 4th-grade class. I didn't think he and David were great friends, though I recall now that Gabriel got in trouble at the end of 2nd grade for fighting -- and his explanation was that David was in a fight and he just jumped in to help defend him, without having any idea what the fight was about. I remember that Gabriel made no excuses and didn't complain about getting into trouble for this, though he'd been to the principal's office so many times, we were still annoyed. David is a nice kid, and your classic bully-target: small and wears glasses.

Tonight Gabriel was writing out his party invitations, and he told me casually, "David told me he never gets invited to birthday parties -- so I thought I'd invite him to mine."

Oh. My. Goodness. This is my son who's qualified for extra "services" because of his weak social pragmatics and not being empathetic? I just about burst into tears. How utterly, totally, sweet. There's such good in him -- it just comes out in a different way than we're all used to.

I took a few photos of Katrina and her beloved "Ditty" today, to print to put in a craft-project frame for her.

Of course she insisted on wearing her "snow hat," which has never been worn in snow. We have a one-night trip to Bear Valley scheduled next week, and it has finally been snowing a little around Lake Tahoe, so maybe this is a good omen!

1/22/2012

1/20/2021 Early really is for the birds

Being at work at 6:30am, even if it's at home in PJs, really is convenient. What else will you do with that morning, other than *sleep* ? And it meant I was home two days in a row when Gabriel got home. What wonderful time together.

But what a fantastic price I pay -- I'm tired, dragging, clock-watching and miserable all day long. And ironically, so fried that my famous 2nd wind kicks in around 9pm and can't be shut off. I've said it 1000 times and I'll say it again: some people are just not meant to be morning people.

The earlier schedule is good though: I really liked being home when Gabriel got home. But I really didn't like the isolation of the past 2 days (an online instructor-led training class). I need a reason to get outdoors, even -- especially -- on a rainy day. (Finally, some rain here!)

I'm a big believer in crazy fantasies, because having them is the only way they -- or some genesis of them -- will happen. Could I ever work part-time and be home when kids got home? Not unless I identify that as a goal and make it happen.

But for now, full-full-time is plenty. I have SO much to learn, I'm SO green, that I'm in no position to be proposing alternative work schedules or policies. And for all I know, when it is possible, maybe I won't want that anymore. But crazy-fantasy goals can't happen at all if you don't want them.

1/20/2012

1/19/2012 The Class

6:30am! I started a class this morning at that time. I thought it'd be easy too, but no, I had to concentrate FULL-ON right away. Ouch! At least I could be in PJs at home, though that felt funny -- I did get dressed. It's a "real" class, with an instructor and students I can talk to, but it's all virtual.

I was the only student out of 5 in the Pacific time zone -- I was really surprised to hear that one is in the Atlantic timezone. That's four hours ahead! (I think he was in New Brunswick, Canada.)

It's also amusing that whenever any of the other participants spoke, the teacher would have to ask, "Who is this?" -- except me. It took me all day to notice that, but duh, as is almost always the case, I'm the only one with a feminine(ish) voice.

One nice thing being home all day with this intense class was looking forward to Gabriel getting home from school, which he did around 4pm. And I got to greet him with freshly-baked chocolate-chip cookies -- every kid's dream of coming home after school!

It's hard to ignore the increasing pangs of wanting to be there when they (for now, just he, but someday, they) get home. Right now, driving for pickups and then walking in the door with them is the worst part of my day, but beinbg home already when the kids got home on their own -- preferably with fresh-baked cookies -- could be the best part of my day.

1/19/2012

1/17/2012 School-Tuesday Night

This is for real now! No more holidays, trips to NYC, or MLK days. Tonight was as regular a Tuesday night as it gets, which means Dave goes to Tuesday dinner, Julian goes to Kung Fu, and I have to figure out what won't bore everybody to death for lunch tomorrow, no one does their homework or hangs up their jacket.

I've been doing a long training class at work, which I really like, but it sure drags the day out. I'm ready for a good crisis!!

Katrina was patient tonight before her bath, while I was downstairs wrapping up a quick email message and she was ready for her "jets" bath (a treat: I let her take a bath in my usually-kid-free bath with jets). She reminded me a few times, calling from the top of the steps, "Come ON Mom!" After 4 or 5 times of this, she'd had enough and called down, "Mom, get your butt UP HERE!!!"

For non-Facebook readers, I also had an awful episode in which a bad taste in my mouth caused me to seek out our small sample bottles of kid-anti-cavity-mouthwash. It's bubble-gum flavored after all, and that was better than what I had. The bottle was almost empty, so I downed its contents -- then realized, this is not mouthwash, it's liquid SOAP!!! GAHHHHH!!!! Julian must have tried to refill the bottle.

But as gross as it was, I made the most of it -- what story could make little boys laugh harder?? I told it again and again, with animation and gestures and faces and grasping my throat with my hands as it to choke from the foul taste. They ate it up, they thought it was HILARIOUS. Gabriel as new respect for his little brother now.

But she was very sweet at dinner: "Mom, you're the best mom ever!!" Though her sentiment can change rapidly, I accepted the moment.

1/17/2012

1/15/2012 Work week

Even next week still isn't a "normal" week, in a good way: the kids are out of school tomorrow. I would have planned a ski trip for this 3-day-weekend, except that my whole company had a work-related obligation Friday night and Saturday day and night. It turned out OK, but if there had been snow in the mountains I'd have some real regrets. Last week, the conference on Thursday and Friday also meant a big change in schedule, like not making dinner for the family and not having time to work out. So I'm looking forward to a "regular" week -- especially one without a school day!

1/15/2012

1/12/2012 The Lag

Is it possible for jet-lag to be lagged? I've never felt more fatigued and worn-down than today. I haven't even blogged about our exciting NYC trip, or sent photos to my family!

Not only haven't I been blogging, but I haven't been baking. How can that be?!

Mostly, it's the change in job. My new job is really different, but despite a few moments of panic about leaving the super-analytical world and moving a little closer to IT (though I'm a network engineer I've never ever done "IT"), it is SO the right thing. I really love it. I guess the angst and frustration at being held back in my old job was a big driver behind all the baking -- I needed to be useful somehow.

That's not to say I love every last aspect of my job. I'm in a sales company now, and it seems I'm learning every week what that really means. Wreaking out every last technical detail isn't as important now as it was, and social geekiness isn't admired with amusement the same way. This week, I'm stuck in a sales conference for 3 straight days -- including Saturday -- and I'm trying to be a grownup about it, but it's a serious drag. In the sales world, this is the bread and butter: networking! Visibility! Elbow-rubbing! Relationship-building! For engineers, on the other hand, it's just a pain in the rear end. But we're begrudgingly going through the motions because we all know what a great situation we have overall.

But it sure makes me sleepy and worn-out. And interferes completely with my exercise routine, adding to the fatigue. Spending all day in large freezing-cold hotel conference rooms only adds to the exhaustion. (However, it's being held in a really, really, really nice, and I mean, beautiful, hotel in San Jose -- much nicer than the one Katrina and I just stayed in in New York! (Hotel Valencia -- courtyard, fountains, roof deck, fountains, courtyard -- wow!)

And I'm way behind on my annual Doudna-kid calendar.

There. All my excuses. And now, at 8:30pm, I just want to go to bed!

1/12/2012

1/10/2012 The biography

Ugghhh....another book report -- with clothespin doll! I HATE clothespin dolls. I swear, whoever comes up with these must be female and only have daughters. What 2nd-grade boy likes to make clothespin dolls?

And another book report, after so much freedom. This is on a historical figure in American history. The first day the report was announced, two-thirds of Julian's class chose their biography subjects from the school library right away. My experience with local libraries is that when the second grade is doing a book report, the books get wiped out fast. This is such a pain. Whine, whine, whine.

I talked to Julian about who he should do his biography on, and got Mr. Science all excited about Thomas Edison. Nope, taken. Benjamin Franklin? Nope, taken. I know -- Theodore Roosevelt! I'd read a biography of him and he's fascinating. Nope, taken! Argh!

I'd once read a kids' biography about the first woman doctor, but couldn't remember her name. Clara Barton? No, she was a nurse, or something like that. I suggested Clara Barton anyway, along with Daniel Boone, Meriwether Lewis and Sally Ride; and printed out short bios of each one for him to bring with him to school to pick his biographee (?). To my surprise, he picked Clara Barton.

Having experience with book reports, I've learned it's better to buy the books, rather than wait until the weekend and troll the local libraries in the hopes of finding a book. Then we're not stuck with return dates, the kids can share the book, they can mark it up, there are more choices, and it's usually a good book to have. And they're rarely expensive; under $10. So I ordered a few inexpensive kid-books on Clara Barton from Amazon, which arrived just before I left last week for NYC. (While doing so, I found that the person I'd had in mind was Elizabeth Blackwell, the first woman doctor.)

And Julian is all over it. He LOVES the story of Clara Barton. He read all 3 books quickly, and keeps talking about things she did, and asking questions about what it was like in the 1800s.

Recently he'd caught a bit of Gone With The Wind on TV with me, so we'd already talked a fair amount about the Civil War -- perfect background for learning about Clara Barton, "Angel of the Battlefield." In fact, that's why he picked her, because he wanted to read about the military battlefields. It turns out that all 91 years of her life were quite interesting, not just the 4 years she spent tending to soldiers from both sides, and he loves talking about it.

Julian even pointed out a drawing in one of his books of Clara Barton as a young woman, as a teacher, and said she looked really pretty. He said he liked her long dress and her curls. Ding! Now I know how we'll dress his clothespin doll!

For once, the book report is not a drag -- and actually, pretty fun. It's so nice to see that sparkle in Julian again. He had it so much more often when he was in preschool and kindergarten, usually around something in science or medicine, and I see it in him again with this. Though she died in 1912, Clara Barton is still saving people!

1/10/2012

1/8/2012 Back from NYC

A whirlwind, exciting trip. So much to say, and lots of wonderful family photos to post. For now, a small subset focusing on Katrina's experience will have to do.

Katrina's trip to NYC

Back to reality tomorrow!

1/8/2012

12/31/2011 Snow trip?

No-snow Ski Trip Facebook album

Well, I think I've started a new tradition: a semi-disastrous first mountain winter trip of the year, filled with challenges and tough moments, but that will become one of our favorite memories to laugh over later.

To start, there is no snow in the Sierras. Usually by now there is a base of natural snow that is many feet deep, but right now all the ski resorts in the Tahoe area are relying on snowmaking exclusively, on limited runs.

The whole idea was to play in the snow around the cabin I'd rented, but since there really was no snow, I'd reserved a ski school day at Heavenly, a large ski resort in South Lake Tahoe, one that has a lot of snowmaking equipment and is known for spectacular views of Lake Tahoe. It also has a long steep gondola ride that starts in the midst of a downtown shopping area, and that seemed like it'd be fun.

So the kids and I drove up Thursday morning to our cabin in Strawberry, and arrived about an hour and a half before it was ready. So we continued on to South Lake Tahoe to scope out the gondola, ski school, and parking. Sure enough, the gondola started in a busy downtown plaza, right across from the ski school.

I took this to show how bare the mountains are of snow -- but isn't this an odd scene? A busy downtown outdoor shopping area with people clunking around in ski boots.

We'd been advised to meet in front of the big wooden bear in front of the ski school.

I formed a plan: tomorrow, I'd drop the kids off in a bus stop with mine and Gabriel's ski stuff, put the boys under oath not to fight while I parked at a nearby casino, then I'd run back to check Julian and Katrina into ski school. Ideally I'd have liked to put Gabriel into half-day ski school so I could take a lesson, but this place doesn't have half-day ski schools, so Gabriel and I would ski together all day.

Logistics handled, we drove back to our now-open cabin. Katrina especially was disappointed about the lack of snow, but now she was very excited about a gondola ride tomorrow.

The next morning, my plan worked just great -- we arrived at the bus stop near the gondola and ski school in plenty of time. I dropped off kids, skis, boots, helmets, reminded the boys not to fight, zoomed off to park the car, hoisted a knapsack on my back, and trotted back to the kids without a hitch. I gathered Julian and Katrina to check them into ski school, when I noticed: the gondola wasn't moving.

"Wind advisory," explained a ski school instructor. "The gondola will probably be closed all day. We'll bus the ski school kids over to the California Lodge."

What?! Oh brother. The whole reason for this gondola logistical hullaballo was because the gondola had access to more trails with manmade snow on them. If we'd planned to start at the California Lodge, I'd just have driven there to begin with, and checked J & K into the ski school there.

So after saying goodbye to Julian and Katrina, Gabriel and I lugged our stuff over to the ski bus area, heavedourselves on, and rode about 15 minutes to the California Lodge. I was glad we were wearing our shoes and carrying our boots -- lots of people huff around in their ski boots, which I HATE doing.

It took a while to orient ourselves and find the lockers for our shoes and my bag, but finally Gabriel and I were ready to tackle the lifts.

But oh my, what a sad sight -- these bare mountains! I could turn around and see the ski school beginner area, and the lake, from the lift.

But no snow! This is what it looked like from the lift. Like, no! snow!

Gabriel was happy to be on the lift anyway.

Our first run of the year, woo-hoo!

Gabriel and I followed the open lifts and the snow until we were as high up as we could go. Then there was a decent run that took us back to just one lift, and we skiied around that a bunch of times. That was great -- despite the manmade snow and wind, it really was nice to be skiing again. I was reminded just how far I have to go and how unsatisfied I am with my tentative, flawed technique.

At the top of Ridge Run, there were photographers -- who didn't know about the "Bad Weather" paper lift tickets being issued today. This meant I didn't have a card they could scan to link our photos to their Web site. At least he was kind enough to take a photo with my crummy camera.

(As an aside, I'm pretty sure I don't look that dumpy in real life -- my ski pants are NOT flattering!)

This is a pretty run though -- views of the lake the whole way down, if you can take your eyes off the ground immediately in front of you, something I'm still working on!

Gabriel got a lot of compliments on his psychedelic ski helmet, which I'd bought to identify him from a distance. Turns out, it doesn't work that well - a solid blue or red would have worked better. Actually, a brightly colored jacket is much better for picking kids out of a crowd from afar.

When it was time for lunch, we had to ski down two runs, go up one lift, ski down slightly to another lift, then go down the lift to get to the lodge. First time I've ever taken a lift down!

Gabriel and I had a nice lunch chatting, then got ourselves geared back up for the series of lifts to take us back up.

We ran into Julian's lesson on the way up, and he seemed like he was having fun.

He was excited to show me his new "hockey stop."

Gabriel and I spent most of our time on Ridge Run, though it had one area that was particularly windblown, and so was pretty icy. Other parts were deep in the mandmade snow, and this was almost worse for me. I don't know how to deal with big piles of snow that grab your skis and suddenly slow you down.

I was mindful of the time, however. I had to be at the gondola area ready to pick up Julian and Katrina at 3:45. Gabriel and I would have to make our way back down the mountain, un-gear and board a ski bus back to downtown, then find a way to get our skis to the car without losing my parking spot, then walk the ~10 minutes to the gondola area to pick up the other two by 3:45 the latest. Whew. We'd better get started on our way back at 2:30.

I timed our round-trip runs: 16 minutes to lift, ski, start the lift again. At the top of our Ridge Run at 2:31pm, I told Gabriel this was the last run, then we'd start working our way down. "Ok Mom!"

Gabriel and I are a decent match skiing. I'm faster than he is on the easy parts, but as soon as there's any ice or deeper snow or challenge, he doesn't slow down and easily passes me. This last run, I made sure to stay behind him even when I could have passed him. He was having fun on the sides where the whoop-de-doo's and jumps were, though he seemed awfully close to the edge to me. I squelched my worried-mom instincts and just let it go. When you have a (almost) 10-year-old boy, you have to do that.

Then on one jump, Gabriel got a little bent out of shape, staggered, then lost control, and then he was tumbling toward the boulders on the side. He landed backward, with his back draped over a rock and his left arm twisted unnaturally behind him.

I was on the scene in seconds and hurriedly took my skis off as I heard him cry out in pain and shock. I sat him up and saw right away that he was able to move all his limbs. He didn't say much, just "OWW!" and complained about his back. I got him to stand up to see if he could put weight on his legs, and he could, but didn't want to. Then he complained about his arm, that he couldn't move it. He could, I could see, but it was hard to tell how much.

Someone stopped and asked if he should call ski patrol. I said I really didn't know, but Gabriel called out, "YES! I can't ski down." I asked the guy to call just in case. Super-tough Gabriel was still resisting moving or trying anything.

Less than a minute later, a ski patrol guy stopped -- he'd just been cruising by. He did quick triage on Gabriel, and was able to rule out a few obvious things, but of course you can't tell everything from there.

Gabriel insisted he could not ski back down, so the ski patrol guy called for a sled. Then he wrapped up Gabriel's arm, and then they wrapped Gabriel into the sled.

I snapped a picture of where Gabriel's skis ended up, but looking at the photo again, the tracks don't suggest that Gabriel was still attached to these skis when they landed here. One of them was wedged nicely between rocks.

My calm demeanor hid my mounting panic: we've got to get Julian and Katrina at ski school soon -- and thanks to a stunning confluence of circumstances, was already about as complicated as it possibly could be, and now I was facing time trouble and a whole other set of logistics with Gabriel.

The ski patrol skiied Gabriel in the sled down to another lift area. I was a good 5 minutes behind them; I didn't have a prayer of keeping up with a skilled skiier even if he had a sled behind him!! But I also knew enough not to try: this was NO time to fall, better I get there late and safely.

Gabriel's sled was attached to a snowmobile. I got on the back and the lady snowmobile driver towed the sled and the ski patrol guy to the next lift area. That was cool.

But we weren't taking the lift down -- there's also a tram that leads down to a clinic near the lodge where my bag and shoes were tucked away in a locker. On the tram, I answered a lot of questions about Gabriel's age, address, skiing ability, and an interesting (and valid) question: what could have prevented this accident. Hard to say -- I'm the first to say if a kid is breaking the rules, but really, he just lost control. I wish he hadn't been so close to the edge, but he wasn't breaking any rules, he just fell.

Once inside the clinic, we thanked the ski patrol guy (who'd stashed our skis and poles nearby), and turned our attention to the medical staff. I answered some basic questions, then alerted them to my increasing time problem: I had to pick up the other two at the gondola, and I was running out of time! Of ALL days to have my bag and shoes, children, and car spread all over the place.

The clinic staff were really helpful, though reluctant to follow the obvious plan: let me leave Gabriel here while I go get the other two and my car. Instead, they called the ski school staff to try to locate Julian and Katrina -- who ironically had been near us at California Lodge all day, but by now were probably on a bus back to the gondola area.

I huffed over in my ski boots from the clinic to the lodge to retrieve my bag (with our medical insurance card) and shoes. Shoes! Thank goodness I'd insisted on wearing my shoes and carrying my boots over. I emptied our locker, changed into my blessed shoes, and carried my boots back to the clinic.

Gabriel's left arm x-ray didn't show up much, though he was still reporting some pain. The staff all commented about what a tough kid he was -- no whining or crying, just very factual answers. But despite his toughness and cooperation, he's still just 9 years old and can't judge how severe an injury is. My instinct was that his arm was basically OK.

By now it was 5 minutes away from when I was supposed to pick up the other two. The kind clinic staff had contacted ski school and figured out a plan: the Ski Services manager would drive over to the gondola area to pick them up and bring them to the clinic. Then they'd call for the clinic's own shuttle van that to take all of us and our ski gear back to my car.

The Ski Services manager arrived soon with Julian and Katrina, barely able to contain himself with laughter. He pointed to Katrina and mouthed to me, "She's hilarious!" He said they both talked nonstop on the way over. I thanked everyone profusely as we bundled everyone and everything into the clinic's van, and the bored young driver took us back to the Nevada casino parking lot where my car was.

All items and people reunited, we drove gratefully back to our cabin. I'll be darned, is that a snowflake?! We thought we saw one or two. So many businesses and jobs in that area depend on snow. C'mon Mother Nature! We had an easy dinner, lots of treats, quick showers, and some TV. Gabriel was still saying his arm hurt.

In the morning, we packed up to clear out by 11am. The only hitch in this plan was when I just about had the car packed, and went back into the cabin one last time to retrieve Katrina and the key, when I found the door locked. "MOM-MY!" Katrina called from inside. She'd locked the door and didn't know how to unlock it!! I called to her several times to "turn the knob," but she didn't know what I meant. After a quick run around the place to find another way in, I returned to the front door and calmed my voice. "Katrina, see this knob?" I wiggled the main lever. "Not this one -- turn the one above it." She cried out, "But it might LOCK it!!" I assured her that was OK at this point, and finally, I heard the deadbolt click open. Whew.

The cabin wasn't huge, but it was nicely laid out and the general living area had plenty of space.

Pretty mountain view too.

Since we had to leave by 11am, I figured we'd drive back to South Lake Tahoe again, then drive around the east side of the lake for a little sightseeing. This plan basically worked, with several stops along the way.

We stopped to see Cave Rock, which wasn't much in the grand scheme of things.

The best stop was at a vista point within the Lake Tahoe State Park (in Nevada), with some trails down to the lake and some great climbing rocks.

My new favorite picture of Julian.

My plan had been to stop in Truckee for lunch, but the kids were all set on Denny's, and my iPhone reported the nearest Denny's was in Reno. Gabriel was in command of the iPhone, so I couldn't see his searches, but by the time we figured anything out, we were on I-80 and on our way to Auburn. "Can you guys hold out another hour?" A quick snack stop and then we made great time to Auburn, where the Denny's milkshakes made up for the delay.

I was stunned to see that there was actually snow on the mountains around Donner Pass -- far more than there had been on the south side of Lake Tahoe. Not enough to ski on by itself, but still a lot more.

The trees and landscape were different here too; more severe, even more homogeneous. As pretty as South Lake Tahoe and the surrounding area are, I like the northern end and Truckee better.

I'm the meanest car travel mom, but I also have very few kid car travel issues. I don't know which is the effect and which is the cause, but we travel with no electronics (well, Gabriel had his new MP3 player, and the boys did get to text Dad with the iPhone), no screens and no food. We stop for meals, and only in emergencies (such as a last-minute decision to wait another hour for lunch) will I give them snacks, and then only at a stop outside the car.

At our last gas/break stop before the final push home, they were getting restless, so I played my last card and gave them all new activity books and flashlights. It was only on the last leg of the trip that I had to do even that -- and then not a peep until we got home at 6pm!

Of course, there were the usual peeps about helping out once we arrived. I'd rehearsed and talked with the kids well before we got home: when we arrive, please help carry stuff inside from the car. I've learned from my new experience with camping and skiing that if I don't unpack the car in the first 10 minutes, it won't happen for days.

Gabriel was a huge help, one arm notwithstanding, and not only helped me carry things from the car to the house, but he brought his own knapsack upstairs, unpacked it, and hung it in his cubby without being told.

Julian, meantime, was exactly opposite. After numerous reminders, he finally spilled out of the car carrying nothing, then played with the Christmas lights after I'd told him not to, then wouldn't go back to the car to help carry things in. He'd been a big problem with following instructions all day, and I was way too fried for more from him, so I delivered him a sound spanking after he'd defied me one more time. I know the anti-spanking advocates say there's another way, but I'm sorry: his attitude was markedly changed afterward -- so much so I wished I'd done it hours ago. In fact, he seemed happier after the initial shock was over.

With the car unpacked and a quick dinner made, I had time to reflect on the trip.

How much can we take? First, no snow. Then we pick the ONE day to ski that high winds shut down the gondola and many of snow-blown trails for which I'd chosen this large, hassle-rich ski resort. Then Gabriel has the worst crash he's ever had!

Well, despite allll that, it was still completely worth it. I was so happy to be in the mountains again, happy to share it with my children and get them to see the beautiful state we live in. We talked a lot about snow and how I grew up with it (now they all want to move to New York), but I told them that I really love California (and Nevada, where we spent the better part of the morning) and the mountains and all the beautiful things here.

I'm hoping our trips to the Tahoe area will become a permanent part of their childhood memories. I'd love to add summers to that too -- but first, let's find some snow up there this winter!

1/1/12