Question: Would you prefer your childʼs teacher assign more or less homework?
Regular readers know what I'd answer to that! Here's what the (self-selected) parents who did answer came up with:
More: 35.1%
Same: 56.9%
Less: 8.0%
I have very very little support in the "Less" category!!!
5/8/12
Katrina's choice of clothing today, on a super-hot day, was ... well interesting. She wore this clowny dress that I (regretfully) got her at Target (before realizing it was quite as bright and ill-fitting as it is). But everything's cute on a 5-year-old girl, so, whatever.
She knows enough to put something under it to avoid the showing-underpants problem at school. But despite a wide assortment of drawers in her drawers, she insisted on heavy wool skort, complete with its own set of shorts underneath!
And a T-shirt under the dress!
I tried to talk her out of it this morning, but she was insistent. Among all the battles I have as a Mom, this is very low on the list! Gabriel pretty much refused to wear long pants all winter last year, so, whatever. The only time he wore long pants this winter was when I insisted because we were headed to the mountains. I think I've proven myself as a let-it-go Mom! (Well, except for horrendous rudeness -- I can let major fashion problems go, but not mahor obnoxiousness.)
5/7/12
So beautiful that it seemed we just had to get out. I spent a fair amount of time gardening on Saturday with Katrina: planting two new plants, cutting back ones that are getting out of control, answering her incessant, "Moooo-oom?" every time she has something to say (sweet but tiresome).
But after a while I could tell the boys were getting stir-crazy and needed to get out. So I took them all to OSH to check out plants and patio furniture. Now that I want to be outside in our yards, we need somewhere to sit!
We couldn't find the firepit in the catalog, but Katrina enjoyed testing out a lounge chair.
When we got home, Julian and Katrina engaged in a game of "find the foxtails" -- that is, weeds that have nasty sticky seeds that cling to dogs' fur. We've mostly rid our yards and park strips of these unfriendly plants (I like native, but not too native), but there are still a few around. Then they decided to water some new plants, and some that aren't irrigated.
Though any kid would rather play video games, I was glad to see these two happily engaging in the garden and plants for the better part of the afternoon (Gabriel was inside obsessed with a voice recording project, which I allowed).
Somehow, the retro-snob in me has to believe this is better for them than what they want to do (which is sit inside playing video games on the computer all day). There's only a short window in your life that finding foxtails is a truly fun activity....funny, I'm getting back to that place in life myself!
But today, Sunday, as nice as it seemed to lounge around, I could sense that everyone needed to get out. I had planned to work as much as possible today, but I could feel burnout and stir-craziness building in everyone. Gabriel in particular gets into a state in which he's unbearably obnoxious and out-of-control.
So I endured the 30-minute process of getting everyone ready to get into the car and off for a little excursion. It wasn't totally random; it was a park in Los Gatos that I'd seen was connected to an open space preserve with short loop hikes -- perfect. Well, perfect if I'd noticed that the hikes didn't actually have trailheads in the developed park itself, and there was some hiking to do just to get to where I'd planned, if you'd downloaded and printed the correct map that is. The park didn't even post one!
But we made do. The objective was to get the kids (and myself) out, and that we did. We hiked a short 1.4-mile out-and-back along a fire road that was pretty steep. The boys were very engaged in Gabriel's off-road RC car, while Katrina happily chatted with me about how much she liked mountains and hiking.
On the way down, Katrina got ahead and was running, so I trotted to catch her to warn her that running downhill can lead to painful falls, but not in time -- she slid on leaves just as I was within earshot, and fell hard on her back. "I have butt burn!" she cried. She got over it in 5 minutes, but was much more cautious about running downhill after that. I've tripped and fallen running downhill too, and it was bad -- both knees, both elbows, lots of scrapes, and an out-of-commission thumb for a few days. It's easier on kids, but falling while running down hill is no fun.
Short but sweet, and totally what was called for. The rest of the afternoon was spent lounging around at home after a substantial snack (some would call it lunch but our timing was way off!) - which a nice little hike transforms from goofing off to a deserved relaxed afternoon.
We are very lucky to live in an area with so many opportunities for the beautiful outdoors so closeby!
And even closer -- our own backyard! A white "sticky monkey flower," some of which we saw in a light apricot color today at our open space preserve hike, truly native.
5/6/12
Yesterday we discovered a Stickey Monkey plant had bloomed with scarlet flowers.
And another Sticky Monkey bloomed with apricot flowers!
We learned from our new landscaper that sticky monkey leaves are called that because the undersides are sticky -- enough that Native Indians used them as organic band-aids. Katrina demonstrates the concept of a Spongebob-free wound protector (the undersides of the leaves are a little sticky).
A few weeks ago, I planted my own native irises, with small (1cm) purple flowers. So pretty, and featured on the cover of my new favorite book, California Native Plants for the Garden
Turns out, we have some of these irises!!! They hadn't bloomed yet, so I didn't recognize their grassy leaves. But their little purple flowers are unmistakeable.
This week I'm in a training class again, which means it's best done from home, which means during our short breaks I de-fry my brain by walking around outside and musing at what to do to my garden. That's the best break there is! But it's even more fun sharing it with my enthusiastic daughter when she gets home.
We sure are having a fun spring together finding flowers!
5/2/12
And thank goodness I did, what a great day!!
So much happened I can't possibly document it all here, so I might as well try to be brief. Knowing all events and rides would get very crowded, we went straight to do things that would likely have lines built up later in the day.
First, a monster truck ride!
I'd never heard of this, but some outfit was actually giving rides on a monster truck, on a flat muddy lot. For $5 each, how could we could pass it up?
The monster-truck owners recommended kids sit closer to the cab so they don't get scared. No one was scared at all! Julian sat up front with the driver, the little sneak (I wanted to do that). Of course no monster truck ride could scare Gabriel, but Katrina? No, she had a great time!
Katrina laughing her head off on the monster truck.
What can top that?
Well, how about a helicopter?! All three experienced their first helicopter ride today!
Julian rode with me and another man, while Gabriel and Katrina and Dave rode in another helicopter.
We were only up for about 7 minutes, but the views were spectacular. Things look very different from a helicopter, at least on these tours they fly low enough you can see the ground pretty well and really see things. Our pilot said he'd spotted a bobcat that morning, and that they do whale-watching tours too -- that sounds way better than from a boat!
Landing.
On to the aviation section! A B-26 Marauder (WWII bomber, of course)
A C-47. This is what dropped paratroopers in WWII, and this plane in particular saw action in Normandy about 2 weeks after D-Day. Cool!
We had lunch at an airport cafe, and were joined by a NASA test pilot. A delightful fellow who could identify any aircraft and who I thoroughly enjoyed talking to. Two days ago, I saw the strangest airplanes -- or helicopters? -- landing at Moffett Field, and from Googling I figured they were probably these bizarre "tiltrotor" V-22 Osprey helicopters. Turns out this man is a test pilot specializing in tiltrotors, so I really hit the jackpot! He confirmed that two Ospreys landed at Moffett last week, in fact. Plus he just was a great guy.
Kids being kids, they were very focused on souvenirs. Each got to pick a toy plane. Someday I'll miss that.
There was plenty else to see, such as this 1912 steamroller.
And a very interesting cold-war era missile. Actually, the guys' description of its purpose as a deterrent against the USA being bombed by the Soviets during the Cold War was really interesting, but the boys were thrilled to see a real missile.
And lots of interesting cars and motorcycles of course too. I hijacked this trip a little by spending so much time in the aviation area, but I think we all got a lot out of it. A totally worthwhile day, perfect to shake off the burnout!
4/29/12
Well, I'm not fired, but I am fried. I'm taking a training class this week in which somehow I ended up the only student. I thought that'd make it easier, but in fact, it means absolutely no downtime at ALL. I feel seriously taxed and like every day is totally full.
But while I'm completely spent by 5pm, my other duties -- including work-related -- don't subside. To complicate matters, my wonderful employer needs me to refocus my work somewhat, away from what I'm training on now, away from my core skillset. It's the right thing, but it adds to my emotional and mental load: I have goals I'd wanted to accomplish, but now new ones have been added. This is a GREAT problem to have, especially considering my last job -- which seems more a joke as each month passes -- but I'm still wondering where the necessary extra energy cycles will come from.
The one good thing I have to say about the intense work this week -- from home -- is that during my rare minutes off, I can spend it wandering around my landscaping -- dare I call it "garden?". I fantasize about what to put where -- plants, rocks, logs, how it will look when it's grown, building a rock garden, placing a bridge, or a huge log. Every corner, every empty area is a potential planting space. I don't see it as a showpiece, it's a playspace, somewhere new to exercise my horribly underdeveloped artistic side. But it's living and breathing and growing -- every day, I'm rewarded with some subtle change: a new sprout, a new bud, and often, a new flower. It's so nice to have this as an escape from the crushing burden of balancing work, priorities, family, home, life.
And so goes my excuse and explanation for being so incommunicado lately!
4/25/12
For example, tonight I couldn't grill steaks as I'd planned for dinner, unless I started early and on the dot, because Julian needed to be done and ready to go at 7pm. This time constraint on Monday nights is increasingly frustrating as it stays light later -- sometimes I want to do something else on Monday nights besides scramble to get the kids fed in time to be somewhere. I know this is the norm in Silicon Valley kids' lives, but I just can't abide by it.
So having messed up the kids' dinner, I heated leftovers for Julian, which he scarfed down in minutes. After Dave took him to counseling, I started to work on the grilled steak dinner I'd had in mind. And this turned into an unexpected, surprisingly wonderful time with Gabriel and Katrina.
I showed Gabriel how to light the grill (whose electronic ignition is on the fritz and you have to use a lighter), he got a pot for noodles ready to boil, he floret-ed some broccoli, and got the pot for noodles ready to boil. Katrina wanted a job, so I let her sprinkle balsamic vinegar over some red onion slices I'd made. Both kids roared with laughter when this latter grilling attempt went down in flames (note to self: slice onions thicker!), but I played it up gladly. Katrina set the table, and Gabriel was agreeable with one minor task after another.
At one point, Katrina said something like, "Mommy, this is SO fun I don't ever want it to end!" She said again and again, "We're making dinner together, RIGHT?!" She also brought up several times another mistake of mine, unrelated, just to see my reaction, "Remember when you accidentally drove to Carson City?!" I always make a huge deal of this and say "HEEYYYY! Stop making fun of me!" and boy do they laugh.
Katrina wouldn't actually eat the steak that she "helped" cook, and in fact, her basic food consumption was same old usual nicky pits she subjects us to every night. But I was so struck by how happy she was about the process. Was it that Gabriel was involved? Was it because it was a nice manageable triad, instead of the usual chaos of 3 kids and two increasingly irritate parents? Or was it that for once, I was happily involving them, instead of barking out annoyed instructions about homework?
In any case, I had a great time with them, explaining how to time cooking tasks, giving them jobs and instructions, quizzes, and (half-)joking that now one of them can do something better than Dad. Poor Dad takes a lot of good-humored ribbing in abstentia in these situations, but always in a light spirit and the lesson being that they'll grow up knowing how to handle themselves in a kitchen, unlike most men of my generation. I also explained to Gabriel that Dad not knowing how to grill stuff isn't his fault, but he will grow up learning how to make French Toast and Macaroni and Cheese and banana bread -- and use a grill.
Unfortunately our family-bonding antics meant a late dinner, and got everyone to bed too late. Never good on a school night, and we pay dearly. But my memory of Katrina's obvious joy at the family cooperative, and Gabriel's roaring laughter when I completely messed up the grilled onions are completely worth it.
(Shh, the real reason we ran so late is that Katrina and I snuck in a little gardening late this afternoon....I couldn't help it, these native irises just had to be added to my new native garden....and what fun to do with your independent little girl who so often wants nothing to do with you!)
4/24/12
Yesterday I visited some gardens just by myself, knowing that kid-attention for this sort of thing is limited, and some gardens are only open on Saturday or Sunday, but not both. I reserved Julian's attention for the two I knew I'd want to see on Sunday.
Ironically, the first garden I wanted to see wasn't far at all: our own school's garden. 4 years ago, a group of volunteers at our school transformed a dull strip of dirt into a thriving habitat, filled with native plants and other hard features (boulders, logs and painted rocks), and formed a garden club for kids. The school community maintains the garden, leads tours, and decorates it with painted rocks and all sorts of informational plaques. It's really a labor of love and such a nice thing for a school -- especially ours -- to have!
It turns out that Gabriel's teacher, and his now-pregnant wife, a 2nd-grade teacher at the school too, are very involved in this garden. So though we can see it anytime, it was worth going today to talk to the garden hosts, see photo displays of how this garden came about, and do a scavenger hunt. Julian was so into finding every last thing on Gabriel's teacher's typically very thorough lists meant we were there for over an hour (and I have the sunburn to prove it!)
Julian had a great time at this garden, asking questions of the teachers/gardeners, finding things, noticing what was related, looking at the butterfly identification cards. Then we went around and picked up garbage, because there's a constant flow of wrappers and paper that get blown in from the lunch area. It was a rare Good Mom moment for me.
Then we went to another garden/home we'd been to two years ago, that I'd found was the most spectacular one there is, and it still is. I was blown away -- I want my "garden" to look like this! It's really beautiful and so diverse, with so many different sorts of plants and spaces. Lots of manzanitas too, my favorite.
The homeowner here is involved with a local native-plant nursery though, so it's related to his business as well as his passion. He has at least 5 manzanitas, for example, not always easy to come by, and they're pretty big. Most home gardens are not this beautifully designed or mature or diverse; most are more like how mine will be, a smattering of plants left to their own devices. This one is really a showpiece. He even named certain areas, like "Puppy Dog Path" or "Manzanita Trail" and put up nice little wooden signs.
The rest of the day, I was a total slug -- fighting a headache and procrastinating on numerous pressing chores, like filing my Dad's late taxes, getting airline tickets for a trip to Vancouver, cleaning out the garage, and a few work items. Ah yes, and planting some new plants I just bought at the garden tour. I'm totally hooked on these beautiful, scrubby, hardy sorts of plants and these so-not-showcase gardens, devoid of law and order and just a fabulous display of fauna. But I also like bumming around on Sunday afternoons too.
4/22/12
It's funny, with the kids out of school this week, we have all this "time" (hah hah) to "catch up" !
Which means, we've been busier than ever. Monday, we went to the County Recorder's office to submit our passport applications. Tuesday night, we went to Tuesday Dinner at our longtime moto-friend's Jack's house. I caught up with friends who I've now known pushing 20 years, but our kids were the only kids there. Wednesday, I went out for Coffee and Cheesecake (though a disagreeable GI system ruled both those out) with a different segment of my life, my Mom friends, who I've now known pushing 10 years. Somewhere in there, Dave and I dropped off and picked up our cars for service -- my 10yo car failed smog and needed service; hopefully it will pass this weekend, but even if it passes, it's time to start thinking about car #3 in my life.
So at Coffee with my Mom friends, we decided to team up for a camping weekend this summer! So odd, this intersects both parts of my lives: I used to camp a LOT with my moto-friends, though all on motorcycles and only caring for myself -- now I'm doing it in a car, meeting up with Mom friends, and with children -- lots of them. Both worlds involve tents, but are universes apart!
Recently I've mused about what I'd have been like, who I'd be, if I hadn't been raised in the most urban environment there is in the USA. I really loved the city life as a kid, though of course it's all I knew -- but as an adult, I really gravitated toward the outdoor-lifestyle more easily afforded on the West Coast. What would I have been like had I been raised in the suburbs in the world's most perfect climate, as my children are? And if my parents had been into camping and skiing as much as I am now? Probably very sheltered as my own kids will be -- I'm pretty sure I was raised with harsh reality as a daily partner, whereas my children are just one step shy of the proverbial silver spoon. I really have no idea which is worse or better. My drive to take them camping and skiing competes with an underlying urge to show them what Real Life is about -- but what the hell do I know? And how strong is my desire to show them the rest of the world? Is it just passing talk to make myself feel better about being so comfortable? Sure is easy to claim that I want them to know how the rest of the world lives from my 2-story 4-bathroom home with two well-stocked refrigerators -- as long as we don't get too uncomfortable. I want them to know how privileged they are, but without causing myself any discomfort. Does that make me a total hypocrite?
That said, I'm OK with some "discomfort" planning camping in relatively luxurious Silicon Valley!
4/19/12
Besides, I've been blithely bragging that none of my kids have any airborne allergies -- or any at all, other than Julian's severe penicillin allergy that hasn't emerged since he was 17 months old -- so how could it be that?
Well, despite my bravado and bragging, the doc chalked up his red itchy eyes to pollen -- and I'll easily take that over a brain tumor.
4/16/12
All I've really wanted to do this weekend is nap and do some gardening. Katrina and I did some trimming yesterday, and I'm SO enjoying walking around and seeing what's blooming, what's growing, and what's not doing so well, what needs to be cut back. I even planted two of my own plants today, for which I have a pretty consistent success rate: 0%. Pretty much everything I plant dies.
I've also been struggling with a splitting headache today, and am VERY ready to call it a day!
4/15/12
As we have for more years than I can count, we gladly accepted a kind invitation from the White family to join them for Easter. This includes great food, catching up with old friends, and an Easter Egg Hunt.
This is always the hardest shot (and for some reason I can't find any old ones???), but this one worked pretty well! There's a new one in the mix, a toddler cousin who wouldn't stay still long enough for the photo -- of course. He's 16 months old, that's what they do!. Ah, toddlers. So cute, so completely lovable, but thank goodness we're past that.
The only funny thing today was how sore Julian was from yesterday's 3.1 mile run at the Big Bunny. He's never felt anything like that and didn't seem to connect it was related to his run! But he complained on and off all day that his "legs hurt." I believe him!
Another lovely Easter Sunday!
4/10/12
I started running (instead of walking) the Big Bunny when Katrina was a baby, and have run it every year since. We have a LOT of Big Bunny Fun Run T-shirts now!
The Bunny itself got an upgrade: it's gray now (new suit).
Dave and Katrina did the official walk, which is 2.5K (so, about a mile and a half). Doing the walk is really just for goodwill and to support the Parks and Rec department -- and for the T-shirt.
The kids practiced an "on your mark!"
Julian entered the real 5K this year too -- this is the boys just before the starting siren.
I coached Julian to pace himself and to follow the crowd. He was ready and excited and started strong!
Gabriel started faster than I could keep up with, plus I was taking photos of Julian. But I caught him about halfway through the race, passed him, and stayed enough ahead that I was able to take a photo of Gabriel crossing the finish line.
And Julian made it! It took him a lot longer, but he made it!
Katrina's favorite place to be, holding Dad's hand. They both greatly enjoyed the walk together, with a little running in the beginning, but mostly walking.
The 5K runners -- we made it! The clock at the finish line said I did it in 24:40, Gabriel in 25:40 and Julian in 35:20.
A grand success for all of us!
4/7/12
