But did anyone really think for a moment that I would bother with drudgerous chores, when there's a perfectly capable mercenary kid around?!
In fact, I'm using the delightful little appliance quite a bit, but I'm still happy to leave the heavy lifting to greedy little boys :).
11/2/12
But frankly, of all the things I have to deal with in their lives, I'm afraid that sewing and gluing homemade Halloween costumes have been pushed out of the Top Ten.
This year, Julian was a gladiator (which was great), Gabriel was a pilot, and Katrina wanted to be a cat, but had to settle for a tiger.
Among countless others, the major-est event was the school costume parade.
Somehow, Julian and Katrina's teachers conspired to be the same thing: my new favorite costume idea: a bath squoosh-sponge thing!
This year, the school had a "surprise" for the parents: a flash mob!!
Julian and Katrina let on that there was a "special surprise" for parents, so with their poorly concealed "hints" I was able to to piece together that some brave soul at the school had somehow taken on the monumental task of coordinating five grades of four classes each, into a dance routine!!!!!!
It's impossible to see in the photos - and especially hard to take photos with all the parents blocking the view with massive video cameras (what will they do with all that video??) -- but this was pretty cute to watch.
I was barely able to see Katrina's half-hearted motions, and Julians "all-OVER-it!" sincere full-body performance, as though he was the STAR of the whole show -- but still, it was a huge experience and total fun for them. And me!
It's fun that the whole school shuts down because of Halloween, but, GEEZ, wasn't Halloween just a DAY once in long lost years afore?
Well, I'm not complaining -- employment challenges notwithstanding, and though the Halloween parade is so massive and chaotic, it'd break my heart to miss the moment. And who can pass up a flash mob?!
10/31/21
p.s. lighthearted post notwithstanding, what's really on my mind is that I haven't been able to call my Mom, who lives in now-Hurricane-ravaged lower Manhattan for days. I've been trying many times a day, but Mom's phone isn't working yet. Thank goodness for my dear brother, who's keeping me posted and has assured me that Mom and Paul are well! He's also assured me that my sister and her family are well, or I'd be fretting about them too. Thank you Ronan!
It's amazing what's happened on the East Coast, and how many people lost their lives doing ordinary things that my mother could easily have been doing. I haven't been able to contact my Mom for a few days (hi Mom, if you're finally able to read this!), though my brother tells me via texts that she's fine (and thank goodness for him!). Still, I know this is a stressful and scary experience for her and Papa Paul, and I wish I could be there.
And then the governor of New Jersey postponed Halloween! The final straw!
Anyway, just so you East Coasters out there know: I'm thinking about you constantly. Costume and school-parade photos of kids will have to wait, I'm afraid.
10/31/12
I was always really low on the "on" scale as compared to most moms....I never do much in the way of sitting and focusing my attention on them. It's more like I miss just having them around -- grouching at them not getting dressed, intervening in the boys' numerous fights, sprinting to rescue Katrina from some-or-other torture from her brothers...and sometimes hearing them happily play, and occasionally even involving myself in it. But there's so much ambient amusement and interaction from us just being together too, and I so miss that.
On the surface, this weekend-to-myself thing seems like what most moms are anxious for. I get to do things in big blocks of time, I have lots of time to myself, peace and quiet -- things most moms can only dream of. And indeed, I make the most of it -- I've always been fine being alone.
But I'm sure looking forward to "my" weekend. Sometimes it feels like the kids are just visitors, and like I'm just a half-time mom.
I wonder, do they miss me? I doubt it, kids are much more focused on themselves, and they're not away from me long enough to really feel it. I don't want them to feel like they miss their mother, that's a big deal for a kid. But I sure miss them.
I know we'll all adjust to this new on-and-off schedule, but so far it's a much tough adjustment for me than I expected.
10/29/12
Though I am a chronic underachiever when it comes to involvement in modern childrens' lives, when it comes to Halloween, I always covered the bare minimum, with costumes (I used to make them), parties, pumpkin patches, school parades, decorations, scary baking, and of course, trick-or-treating.
But one classic Halloween tradition always eluded me, until today. Gabriel just returned from science camp today, so I figured that rather than making him lug his sleep-away duffel bag a mile home, I'd pick him up from school, and retrieve his siblings while I was at it. This would give us a stolen afternoon to carve jack-o-lanterns out of the pumpkins they kids bought at the pumpkin patch last weekend.
I haven't actually done this before, but I channeled Aunt Laura and Uncle Ryan's experience last year, asking the kids how they'd done it. I cut open and cleaned the pumpkins...but that was it. The kids took it from there.
Julian, brimming with ideas.
Gabriel, exacting and methodical.
Katrina, full of enthusiasm. She had such a great time.
Especially with Katrina, I made sure to do as little as possible, mostly showing her how to use the tools, but she did her own pumpkin completely herself. This is what happens when you're the 3rd child. I doubt it would even have occured to me to let my oldest six-year-old carve his own pumpkin, but the third six-year-old pretty much has to.
Kid jack-o-lanterns -- and really, kid jack-o-lanterns. I'm so proud of them. All on their own!
Not bad for my first time!!
10/26/12
The key with Mommy Meow-Stache is to just wait. And then she arrives.
Meantime, her much braver son just hangs out lazily on beds. But I sure love having Mommy-Meow-Stache following me around -- we're turning into quite the pair of pals! (crummy photos notwithstanding...)
10/26/12
I'm sorta "done" with reading to the kids before bedtime. Truth is, I was never crazy about this particular aspect of childhood, even though I always knew how important it was, and how great the bonding is, it teaches them to read....yeah yeah yeah, great stuff. Once I got started reading, I was OK, but I can't say I always looked forward to it, it always seemed like one last thing before getting them to bed.
But tonight when Katrina showed her "special" book, I pounced on it. It was a hand-me-down from a friend, a Babar book called "Babar et L'etoile du Cirque," in French. Katrina made sure to point out to me that the word "Niveau" meant reading "level" (the emblem made that clear), and then asked me excitedly to read it to her.
I've done this before, stumbling through each French sentence and then translating it into English with some, er, "creative interpretation" (meaning, I don't know all the translations!) but it's been a while since I've done this.
My French is ancient, it really never got off the ground -- but the base is there and I could become fluent if I were immersed, and with a credible accent. I've suspected for a while that Katrina has a particular interest and facility for languages, and seeing her with this book reminded me of that. Her language-superpower stage of life is in its sunset, it's a shame I haven't found a way to leverage that.
Maybe via a classic fictional elephant, we could learn it together!
10/24/12
Meantime, I'm SO enjoying my wonderful new kitty-cats. I'm still figuring them out. Zorro is overall so much braver, but I can count on Meow-stache appearing in whatever room I'm in, scrambling to some hiding place, and then creeping out and perching somewhere from which she can nervously watch the action.
Turns out, there isn't always a whole lot to watch, but to my delight, she shows up closeby anyway.
Eventually, ennui creeps in....
...and takes over.
Sorry kitty cat -- I can promise lots of love and scratches, a clean litter box, fresh food and water....but entertainment, not always!
10/23/12
Which of course includes pumpkin patches. "Pumpkin patch" sounds so quaint, doesn't it...but nowadays, they've morphed into amusement parks, complete with paid parking, ticket counters, and lines. We braved the same "patch" today as last year anyway, mostly because of the "pumpkin blaster" feature.
The first order of business was the pony ride. Some amusement while we waited.
Gabriel is too cool for pony rides now, but Julian isn't.
Katrina, never!
Katrina playing princess....
Julian very secure in his masculinity...!
We paused for a juggling/carnival show, realizing a few minutes into it that we'd seen the guy once before, in Arnold last summer with cousins. I guess there aren't that many juggler / musician / unicyclists types in the area!
Then, a corn maze. I thought this would be silly, but it was really fun. We had a map -- and that doesn't help nearly as much as you might think, and were directed to find 10 "passport stops." At each stop, you answer a question on a sheet of paper, and the right answer tells you which way to go. But even if I knew how old Dolly Parton was when she released her first album, the correct answer of "turn left" or "turn right" wasn't helpful. In any case, we all had a great time navigating and finding our way around the maze.
It's impossible to get photos inside a corn maze, unfortunately.
Finally, our real reason for being here -- the pumpkin blaster! This is a huge gun that shoots pumpkins at targets like plywood bullseyes and old cars. Katrina wasn't interested, but the boys had I had fun -- for a few minutes, anyway. It doesn't take long to blow through 6 shots and $10!
Of course, we were at a pumpkin patch, so pumpkins were required.
No lifting for my tricky back, which is just dying to freak out right now -- but fortunately, I have two perfectly good sons!
For someone who hates crowded large places as much as I do, even this place was borderline, but the corn maze and pumpkin blaster -- and happy children -- made this totally worth it. Halloween, bring it on!
10/21/12
Meow-stache's markings continue to fascinate me. It seems every day I find some another unusual pattern on her. One of her oddest markings is this little splash of white on her back -- not quite enough to call it a "stripe," but it's still there.
This kitty is so funny -- she scurries away and acts fearful when there's activity around, and when the kids are around, there often is -- but she seeks it out more too. She tends to appear around me a lot more than Zorro -- in fact, as I write, she's snoozing on a chair just a few feet away. Last I saw Zorro though, he was hanging around on Gabriel's bed.
Katrina has also made peace with Meow-stache, and spends a lot of time just looking at her quietly when it's peaceful. Thank goodness there are enough cats to go around!
Beautiful as my two Tuxedos are, we've totally scored on their inner beauty as well!
10/20/12
Ahem, that's my desk -- but you can have my lap!
10/17/12
Zorro was curious and at ease right away.
Meow-stache, not so much. She scurried around, panicked, and hid. In time, Gabriel was able to calm her.
But I knew they'd both be a little freaked by the usual mayhem of the other two getting home, so decided to put them back in the room for the evening -- mostly to give them refuge from the kids.
To my delight, the kids are happy about participating in cat-care, so far. Katrina even poop-scooped voluntarily! I showed her how to give the kitties some wet food (a small amount as a treat only), and she took this job very seriously.
Zorro has pink paws!
Meow-stache (the mommy) was certainly more comfortable back in the safety of the one room they've gotten to know. I notice she's fine with just me, but acts nervous when there are kids around, or too many kids. Katrina especially seems to scare Meow-stache, even though Katrina is really very gentle and careful with her. I have no doubt they'll adjust quickly to each other though.
Still, I think the mommy-kitty will be "my" kitty, as she's most relaxed with me.
Zorro on the other hand will be "the kids'" kitty, as he's much braver and likes to play more.
We are all so enjoying our new family members!
10/16/12
It's no secret at all that I'm completely devastated, wracked with pain and guilt that my usually formidable willpower couldn't stave off this horrible change. I've never experienced this depth of grief or disappointment, of shattered dreams, of misery and wretchedness, heartbreak to the core. Who knew this level of pain was even possible (except for the death of a child)...yet it's all around. So many single women I've talked to understand and have experienced how truly, utterly awful this change is, and are very forthcoming with their sympathy and understanding. I have new respect for them and their composure, and take great comfort in their support and success.
My job has been a tremendous comfort and it's going well, but when I'm not working, I search for solace in small ways....and one of those ways was to go forward with something I'd been wanting to do for a long long time, but had hesitated given the pending changes. And that is: getting some pets! My poor children have never had pets -- and they're not getting any younger!
Though at heart I'm a dog person, I can't consider a dog as long as no one's home all day, not yet. So I consulted mom-friends about a cat, and decided it was do-able. A stretch, but alas, every day right now is uncharted territory, so it's just as well.
I quickly found a local cat-rescue Web site, and looked for an adult cat who was known to be good with kids. An email exchange with the woman who runs the rescue resulted in a decision to see the kitty-options sans kids first, since it'd be easier to make a decision that way. Indeed, the boys were fighting over the kitty-photos just on the Web site, I can't imagine them in an adoption center!
Though I was intrigued by the fabulous face of one particular female adult, this rescue organization prefers to adopt out cats in pairs if the kitties already know each other. So somehow, I went from just asking how the adoption works and inquiring about one cat, to a few days later meeting the cats -- and adopting two on the spot! TWO!
Tempted as I was, a little sense prevailed, and I didn't bring them home the same day I adopted them. I wanted to prepare the house a little, and have some time alone with them before the onslaught of children. The days dragged, but finally the Friday afternoon that I was to pick up our new family members arrived, and I drove with terrific anticipation to Redwood City to fetch our new friends.
So, please welcome, Vanilla and Zavala, mother and son respectively, to our home!
"Vanilla" is the mother on the left with the fantastic mustache markings, a mere 6-12 months older than the son, "Zavala," who is more black but also with white markings. Zavala is about a year old, and has belonged to this rescue organization since he was a kitten; Vanilla was found when she had a litter (I believe), which included Zavala and a few others that had already been adopted out.
They were described as "Maine Coon / Tuxedo" cats, but I'm not sure what makes them Maine Coon, or what Tuxedo means? They look to me like long-ish-haired black-and-white cats, but I guess that's not all that common.
This rescue organization is terrific, the rescue lady gave me all sorts of useful suggestions on things to get (and not get), with regards to food, kitty litter, brushing, the works. They'd already been spayed and neutered, had all their shots, and are microchipped.
Once I brought them home, I found right away that Zavala, the younger male, was nothing like he was in the cat-adoption room. There, he'd been shy and hid a lot, but at home, he wasted no time in approaching me almost aggressively for affection. Within minutes, both of them were purring madly and almost competing for my attention. These two hadn't been caged, they'd been in a kitty-adoption room and regularly socialized and brushed, as well as fostered in a home for a while.
We spent the weekend getting used to each other, and became firm friends. To my delight, I love that Zavala sleeps with me all night, and doesn't keep me awake --except for rousing me occasionally with purring, which I don't mind at all.
So the next thing was to introduce the kids! Dave kindly agreed to let me take the kids a day early, and I'm grateful because meeting the new cats on a Monday school-night, homework-night and report-due night would have been a mess. (I also had another new surprise for them hidden in the garage, it just happened to work out that way, but they weren't nearly as interested in our new (used) foosball table as they were in the new cats.)
The kids were thrilled! Too thrilled -- poor Vanilla was terrified by their enthusiasm, and hid and hissed right away. I warned the kids to back off and let her come to them. Zavala wasn't in the slightest intimidated, and right away delighted the kids with his antics chasing a fishing-pole toy.
The rescue lady had suggested I keep the cats in one room to start, and this proved to be a great idea on several counts. Not only does this give the cats some time to adjust -- and not get lost in the house -- but it also means I can shut the kids out. They were clearly overloaded (kids and cats) on the first meeting, so I was glad to have a door inbetween.
Later, Gabriel went back into the room alone, and quietly offered Vanilla a treat of wet food. In no time he was able to draw her out, to his delight. She's shyer, but comes right up to you and purrs and asks to be scratched -- until her possessive son shows up and shoves her out of the way!
Gabriel and Zavala (the younger son -- mommy Vanilla has a white nose and those distinctive mustache markings):
The second night with the cats, everyone was more comfortable. By now, we'd decided to rename Zavala to "Zorro," and Vanilla has the more awkward name "Meow-stache," given her fabulous goatee markings.
She sort-of has a freaked-out look about her, doesn't she? Not all the time, but she's definitely shyer and more nervous than her very relaxed son. His furry white chest gives him a bit of a lion-look.
Peekaboo!
Make no mistake: Meow-stache and Zorro are my cats -- but I'm quite happy to share!!
10/15/12
