3/13/13 Scragglemuffins no more!

WAY overdue! Time for the boys especially to re-join well-groomed society.

Katrina insisted on her own attention too, not entirely necessary -- but what a pretty up-do in the meantime. Haircutters always gush about her healthy, swingy, body-filled, rich, beautiful hair. "I have natural highlights!" she declares proudly, not entirely sure what that means.

But my real mission was to rein in my shaggy boys, they hadn't had professional attention in months. And how handsome they all are!! (notwithstanding face-burns, goggle-shapes, and chapping from our ski trip last weekend! :) ).

3/13/13

3/12/13 What I want to be when I grow up

Before our hectic trip to the Sierras last weekend, Katrina left me a note -- a "private letter," really, but one so sweet that I'm making it un-private. Her career choice was important enough to write in a note to me -- in cursive, no less -- and roll up and tie with pink yarn.

And this was the message inside.

Dear Noemi,
I love being a
archaeologeist;
you
could try it to!
- Katrina
I am
famous
archaeologist

Notice how she addresses me with my "real" name. She and her brothers all have a recent interest in my "real" name. We all joke that no one can pronounce it, including them! They're all realizing that the rest of the world knows me by a unique name that isn't easily said, even by them. I assured them all that "Mom" is just FINE.

If this is a passing fancy, it's a long one -- Katrina keeps talking about digging and becoming a "famous scientist" and discovering bones. With her, nothing is impossible -- I totally believe her!

3/12/13

3/10/11 The Lost Hours

Another placeholder post until I have time and energy to post photos....

Today was a day of lost hours. First, losing an hour because of the time change. Luckily, modern technology being what it is, clocks advanced on their own and I was able to rouse the kids this morning at the new time.

This morning, despite the crunch time, I'd planned to pack out of our little respite in the mountains, ski until mid-afternoon, then change clothes and make the painful drive home, hopefully in time to beat traffic. But another lost hour intervened first...in the afternoon, I skiied with all 3 kids, and once again, we got split up because of Julian. We got split up on the long approach to the lift, and I knew we hadn't passed him or any crash, but when Gabriel and Katrina and I arrived at the lift, no Julian. We waited about 5 minutes, but I knew he wasn't behind us. Where was he?! Again?! Finally I said, "screw this!" and went up the lift with Gabriel and Katrina anyway.

Distracted, I took Katrina on the last, and hardest run, of the day anyway, that she practically insisted on. This was "East Face," which Sugarbowl inexplicably has two runs named this, but this one was the easier groomer off the Mt Disney lift. Groomed, but steep and decently long for a single run. This is by far the hardest run Katrina has done, and while she was scared and needed a little encouragement, all those lessons kicked in and she knew what to do. She wasn't happy at times, but we had no emergencies and she was in control the whole time. Good for her!

But I was distracted and annoyed at missing Julian again. No more fun, we had to find him! I got us on another lift to return to the base, then on the lift, thought that we should go back to check the lift where Julian was supposed to meet us. This was really painful, Katrina was tired and very slow pushing on the various flat spots we had to traverse to get there. I was extremely irritated that once again, our afternoon fun was clouded by Julian's irresponsibility.

Turns out, Julian was at the lift, and had been all along, but when we first looked for him, he'd waited so far off to the side that we didn't see him, and he wasn't looking out for us. Usually he waits right in the lift line, not way off to the side, invisible amidst other people and not paying attention for us.

I was livid at this foolishness, it put a serious damper in the afternoon for all of us. I was too mad to even talk to him about it. And why bother? It's futile, he just doesn't care. This wasn't his only mistake, he's impossible all day long. When it comes time to put skis away, change out of ski boots and not throw snow in front of a busy lodge entrance or inside the lodge, he acts like he's never ever heard of the rules, and consistently breaks them. I'm just not taking him on any more ski trips for a while. Regrettable, because he likes it and he's pretty good at it. In fact, in his morning lesson today, he did his first double-black and was very proud of it.

The search for Julian accounted for another lost hour today. Then, on the drive home, we lost another hour at a massive backup on the main Interstate due to an accident. It was fun navigating around it on small roads and through little towns, but even past the accident, the traffic was still very very slow. We hit more stop-n-go at various highway lane-losses, plus a much slower than usual dinner at Denny's, then another delay because of a gushing bloody nose of Katrina. 6 hours of a horrific drive, we arrived home from Truckee. I was totally fried, hurried kids into bed, then gathered my remaining strength to unpack the car and prepare the kids' things for school the next day.

The ultimate indignity was having to set clocks forward after all this. Oh, what I wouldn't do for another hour today!

Lots of people manage "weekend" ski trips, but this wasn't the way. Still, the reasons I pushed it paid off: we happened to hit a terrific snow weekend, and all of us really drilled in our skills. But I'm very frustrated with the difficulty of handling Julian and Katrina at the same time; Katrina is still just 6 years old and can still get into day-ending snits. Julian.....well, there's just no explaining him. Gabriel is no problem, he's great to ski with and even likes to stick with me and Katrina while Julian is off getting lost somewhere. Gabriel even loaded all our skis on the car-rack by himself, without even being asked.

Seems too early for ski season to end, but even if this was it, it was a fantastic one. Gabriel and I really advanced together, Julian made tremendous strides (in ability, not in responsibility). And Katrina...wow. She went from spending the whole day on a Magic Carpet to skiing down non-intro black-diamonds (at least in snow, not ice, that changes everything). Winter and snow season is WAY too short!

3/10/13

3/9/13 Lucky Ski Day

On ski days I'm most excited to blog, but most tired too! Funny that....so, consider this a placeholder until I can edit and upload photos later.

And really, these posts are becoming downright routine -- our 5th ski trip of the year. This one is a little different since it is "just" a weekend, and is dedicated more to skiing than to hanging-out or playing in the snow.

But what timing....just as I figured I could pull this trip off, Mom Nature rewarded me with actual precipitation. As a result, there was actual snow on the slopes today, instead of that hard shiny slippery stuff that we've skiied so much on.

Since we're so familiar with Sugarbowl and all have scannable cards for lift tickets, we went back there again. I have it down to a science: we arrive in the morning, but not FIRST THING (snoooze....), in time to drop Katrina off at a group lesson. I unload the car, kids and boots at a convenient close place ("The Den"), get Katrina into her lesson, then while the boys are suiting up, I go park my car. Then the boys and I go do our own thing for just under two hours, pick up Katrina, have lunch (which I bring now, it saves a ton of time and money), then we all ski together in the afternoon.

That all sounds well and good, but there are always problems. Today I had to deal with an now-rare Katrina tantrum/fit. She was very irritable after lunch, bursting into tears when I said lightly that we should make up a name for us as a "ski team" since we four fit on a lift chair together. She suggested "unicorns" and her brothers denigrated that immediately, and it all went "downhill" from there. Then she was horribly offended at my suggesting we do "Donner's Way," her first black-diamond two weeks ago, saying it was too BORING and EASY. It took over half an hour to get her out of the fuss, and I was very very very frustrated at the waiting and the misery -- we have such short time to do this together, I didn't want to waste it with a tantrum. In another place, I could just ditch her and say "OK, I'm DONE, bye!" but you just can't abandon your 6-year-old on a ski slope, even though I know many parents wish they could sometimes.

Promising her to try "Vanderbilt," a short but genuine black-diamond on Mt Lincoln got her out of it. My relief was short-lived however, since as soon as we turned to head toward the lift, no Julian. He knew where we were going, so after some searching and waiting, I decided, "that's it, we've lost enough time as it is, we're going." So Gabriel and Katrina and I got on the substantial lift line to go up Mt. Lincoln, though I was distracted and worried.

Then when we were two chairs away from getting on the lift, Gabriel suddenly said, "Look! There's Julian!" He was on his way, but out of earshot. By then we were committed to the lift, so had to get on it. Yelling to him made no difference, but it looked like he was talking to someone in a red jacket...Ski Patrol. Great. Now they're going to chew me out for abandoning my 9-year-old.

So Gabriel and Katrina and I did Mt. Lincoln, where Katrina booked down Vanderbilt, a mogul-y ungroomed black diamond, as though it was nothing. She was so proud of herself, but I was worried about finding Julian to gush with her right away. At the bottom, I asked a lift operator to call Ski Patrol to see if they had him in custody....then Katrina had to go to the bathroom. It's just one thing after another.

Gabriel and Katrina and I took off our skis and walked a fair distance to a (luckily) nearby lodge, and then -- Ski Patrol showed up on a snowmobile with Julian. Thankfully, they'd responded to my telling the lift operator where we were, though oddly calling me on my cell phone never came up...? I thanked them profusely and defensively explained my anti-separation strategies: always know which is the next lift, stop at every sign marking at intersection. They were very understanding. Julian even admitted he'd heard us talk about which run we were going to, but he'd just ... I don't know, he didn't think it applied to him or something. Typical Julian: we all knew we were turning right, but inexplicably, he turned left.

The afternoon wasn't lost though. After reunion, we had just over an hour -- so I decided to go for Mt. Disney with all three. This mountain has a side with only black diamonds -- not Sugarbowl's hardest or longest, but the whole area warns off beginners.

The boys and I had done this many times on our last trip, but this was Katrina's first. And she had no problem with these runs either! The now-good attitude made a huge difference. "See Mom, no falls!" she exclaimed. I told her falling was fine, we all do it, but she still was insistent that she hadn't fallen.

We did "Donald Duck," which is groomed, and then took "Market Street," which isn't groomed but isn't as steep. By the time we got to "Market Street" though, it was getting crusty and icy, and it's a narrower U-shaped run, so Katrina had a harder time on it than she had on the others. But still, she did fantastically.

Gabriel isn't a problem to ski with, despite tendency to cut me off and ski right into my path. He and I did "Carl's Nose" today, a short double-black on Mt Lincoln, that was totally doable thanks to the snowy conditions. I wasn't nervous at all, though I think it was steeper than anything I've done. What a difference snow makes, I had a much much harder time at Squaw on "blue" runs, because it was so icy then.

The kids' advancement opens up a huge world to me -- that means I can actually ski with all of them....sort of. Actual ability and level isn't the problem, but things like a 6-year-old tantrum and a 9-year-old ignoring instructions can really dampen the day. What's it like not constantly waiting, shouting instructions, reminding, hurrying them along, re-directing, always having your radar on, and just skiing? I'm sure age will make a big difference -- next ski season they'll be 7, 10 and 12 and that's a whole other world. These past two trips have really drilled in their skill and interest, and next season they'll all be poised for real expertise.

We all ended up having a great day, despite the challenges. That's what being with kids is all about!

3/9/13

3/6/13 Dad's 80th

80. Wow.

Today, my Dad would have turned 80 years old. What a milestone that would have been, save for the robbery of Alzheimer's. Oddly enough, thanks to that dreaded disease, I'll never remember him as "old" -- just afflicted. He never had a chance to get old, since it was clear something was sapping his brain from about age 68. Far, far too young.

Julian's school counselor told me that he'd asked Julian how he thought he was similar to each parent. That's a very interesting question. How am I similar to each of my parents? I've always identified far more closely with my mother, partly of course because we're both women, but also much because we're both more literal, scientific, mathematically inclined, driven, compulsive. I never came close to my mother's success, but the inclination was there. Some real differences are there though -- my mother is even-tempered and consistent and controlled, whereas I'm more temperamental, impulsive and volatile. She's wonderful at music, and I'm middling at best. I'm compelled to write, and she is free of that burden.

But as age 50 looms, I realize how much more and more I am like my father. My own children will likely remember me halting all conversation at the sight of a beautiful meadow, or talking ethereally about the power of the mountains. This stuff drove us nuts as kids when my Dad did it, but whaddya know, I do it now too. Heck, they might even find me serenading a squirrel with a pennywhistle one of these days.

My Dad was very social, but deeply valued his privacy and alone-time too. He always built his offices "just so" -- out of plywood, but with all the surfaces, shelves, and cubbies he needed. My nesting instinct is exactly the same, I tend to surround myself with just the right little accoutrements and conveniences and greatly value my little carved-out sanctuaries. Whereas my mother, who has exquisite taste, I believe is much lower-maintenance. We all have our favorite spots of course, but my "way" about mine takes very much after my Dad.

I drove him crazy. He couldn't understand my rapid speech. My energy exhausted him. My readiness to resist and literally argue his carefully thought-through ideas irritated him. My trains of thought took too many twists and turns. He hadn't a prayer in any word game against me. He loved me dearly for these things, as intensely as they annoyed him. No one found more depth in off-the-cuff observations or ideas I had, no one laughed harder at things I'd say.

Though my Dad was raised in a different age in which expectations were different for daughters, and I was born at the tail end of that in 1963, my Dad never doubted me, never treated me like I'd have anything other than a bright, open, complete future. I never experienced sexism growing up, starting with my own father, and that greatly shaped my life and career. (Indeed, in my house growing up, it was always understood that the girls were stronger, smarter, more capable....my poor poor brother...! Yet now he's the adored family glue.)

Especially at this time in my life, I miss my Dad more than ever. I really could use his wisdom and philosophical chats, removed from the cares of the day-to-day -- never his forte -- to wrest me out of my emotional mire, to lift me up to see the bigger picture. Just like he did when I was little: he'd prop me up on his shoulders for a better view over the crowd. I so wish he could do that for me now, while on a long hike through the woods in Stephentown.

Today I heard a quote from Winston Churchill: "The secret to success is moving from failure to failure with enthusiasm" -- Dad and I would have mused about that for an hour or two. He'd have pondered the truth to it, roaring with laughter at my biting cynical doubtful remarks.

One of my favorite pictures of us together happened to have been taken in Breckenridge, Colorado -- mountains. I know if anyone would understand my new identification with altitude, it would be my Dad.

(circa 1991, I was 28 or 29)

Eighty would still have been far too young to take him....and though Alzheimer's slowly stole his mind for 10 years before it took his body in 2011, I'm no less lost without him.

3/6/13

3/5/13 Lunchtime

About time he made his own lunch! Gabriel is 11 now, and really, he can make most of his own lunch. I just have to insist. Nowadays he's much more agreeable to such requirements, even making it fun by drawing a simple (he says "impossible") circuit on his lunchbag.

Completely unrelated, but I caught this great photo of our most beautiful feline, Zorro. Don't be fooled by his regal looks -- this animal is greatly loved and adored for his "inner self." He has a reputation for being very tolerant, very alert to imminent treats, playful....and just a little bit dopey.

He also has about the softest fur I've ever felt on a cat. He is dearly loved!

Our evening got off to a late start for the best possible reason: today is Bonne Maman's birthday! Calling her and chatting happily delayed dinner, but I can't imagine a better reason. Happy Birthday Bonne Maman!

3/5/13

3/4/13 Light Reading

Not sure why Gabriel decided to pick up this book ("The Complete Idiot's Guide to Philosophy"), but he was engrossed in it for some time tonight?!

I picked up my old book for a moment myself, and came across a paragraph on "ataraxia" -- the state of being detached from the cares of reality. Uh-huh. No wonder the great philosophers were all men: because their women were dealing with raising children.

Speaking of reality, Julian seemed happy and unhappy at times to be re-united with his siblings tonight. I'm starting to think it's not so much about being around them, but his ongoing frustration at not being able to dominate his older brother. The boys compete fiercely for the attention of Zorro the cat, for instance, and Julian complains to crying that Gabriel "hogs" the hapless feline. Indeed, Gabriel will carry the compliant animal up to his bed and pet him all night long, shooing poor Julian away.

Unfortunately, Mommy-Meow-Stache is no help in resolving this impasse, as she has no interest in the kids' shenanigans. Instead, she follows me around and hides -- even in the bathtub.

She appears quickly when things are quiet, and then is my constant companion.

My tolerance for kids and complaints about cat-hogging was totally curtailed tonight by a brutal migraine. I'm grateful that severe headaches are no longer a day-to-day thing for me, but they're always a threat. This one startled me awake around 3am, and was intense and relentless and kept me miserably awake until I had to get up. I took a huge dose of tylenol with codeine around 9am, which made me really really tired the rest of the day, but did take care of most of the pain, even though I was still nauseous all day. I stuck it out at work, but boy I sure wished I could just have collapsed at home afterward -- only the luxury of the child-free. Maybe it's just as well that I had the kid-distractions, because I had no choice but to dig deep enough to run through the evening...and just enough energy surfaced to write this.

But I've had it now...bedtime!

3/4/13

3/3/13 "Special Sunday" "Just Julian"

One strategy for dealing with Julian's ongoing behavior issues is to try some additional one-on-one time. I'd long felt he'd benefit from this, but experience has made me very cautious about suggesting any arrangement out of the ordinary. This time, the idea was supported by "multiple sources," which even if didn't include me, I'll take it.

So though technically I didn't have kids tonight, I gladly suggested I take Julian alone tonight when dad suggested some one-on-one time.

Lots can be attributed to beginner's luck, but Julian was all over it today, since he really likes feeling like he's getting special attention.

We talked a lot about his being the middle child, that he feels like Katrina gets a pass for being the youngest, and Gabriel gets extra privileges for being the oldest. Both of which are true, but I didn't get into why or how; I just listened and talked to him how he felt about those things, and how he could feel like he had his own "advantages."

Julian said he felt his anger was "funneled" into his misbehaving, or not concentrating, in class. I'm not sure I believe that exactly, but I totally took it seriously and talked to him a lot about his feelings, without once explaining or justifying grownups' point of view. It was tempting to say "well, when you don't listen, grownups do xyz" -- but I didn't. That wasn't the point at the moment. I listened to how he said he felt, asked him how he could feel better, and how he could remember his good feelings from tonight and apply them to classtime. He said many times how much he liked not having siblings around.

Julian himself came up with a strategy of practicing concentration on a flickering candle -- so I found a candle for him to practice on.

The first thing we did, however, was work on his next school report: a "how-to" report. He'd already chosen a project out of a science book he has, so we set up that experiment (how to make stalactites).

Then, believe it or not, I took him to the YMCA with me. He's been wanting to do this ever since he turned 9, which is the minimum age to enter the adult fitness center. He was all over it!

He even got some special time from a personal trainer, who happened to be a 3rd-grade teacher at another nearby school in our district. Perfect! I was amazed at how relaxed and happy he seemed afterward, gushing about how good he felt -- tired but alive. Exactly how I feel from exercise.

Cap that off with an extra-special yummy Pho dinner from a nearby uber-authentic Vietnamese restaurant (a new favorite of mine but only Julian appreciates it too), and it was a terrific evening.

Who knows if alone-time will help Julian's behavior troubles at school, but as he and I talked a lot tonight, it's a little like building muscle from working out: results are not immediate, but cumulative. So let's hope some more "Special Sundays" "Just Julian" time (from anyone) will help!

Gosh, how I do adore my son. Sometimes there needs to be a better word than just "love."

3/3/13

2/27/13 Homework Helper

I'm not quite sure this counts as "help," but Julian sure preferred doing his homework with some company tonight.

Meantime, my company, who kept me awake purring much of last night, was happier hiding in my room.

Cats do add a bit to daily chores, but are overall very easy to take care of.

It's all the other stuff in life -- bills, changing over accounts and names, taxes, overdue holiday gifts (!! eeps!) that I'm perpetually behind in.

I learned a good lesson from an organized friend at UCLA once: get one thing done every day, even if it's a small thing (like paying one bill) and be happy with that. You'll end up getting everything done sooner than if you wait for it to pile up, because each task seems more approachable than a giant pile of them. I like that.

Tonight I packaged up some Lands' End clothes to return -- I guess that counts as my "one thing" done. Tomorrow, change a newspaper subscription -- ooh!

2/27/13

2/26/13 The Vigil

The cats sure miss the kids when they're not home!

Zorro (back of photo) mopes around, sits vigil on the landing, sometimes me-owing his pathetic little cry...

....while Meow-Stache darts around nervously, wondering when the chaos is going to re-appear, to run her back into hiding.

We're all anxiously awaiting their return!

2/26/13

2/26/13 The Thank-You

Whoever heard of getting an unsolicited thank-you note before you did something?!

Katrina wrote this darling thank-you note on the day we left for Truckee on Ski Week -- before our Ski Week snow/ski trip:

Dear Mom:, thank you for planning a ski trip. Love, Katrina. p.s. I love you :)

OK, does it get any sweeter than that?!

She also wrote her "Vacation" report (from Winter break) about our snow trip:

Over my vaction I went sking at Tahoe donner and Sugar Bowl. It was fun. I went to ski scholl It was a half day school. I worked on turning.

Next I skied with my mom. I went to the terrain parks. It was fun. I had so much fun sking!

Someone asked me today if I'd ever done fingernail-painting with Katrina. Uhhh....no? Is that OK?? Never done makeup, dress-up, nail-painting, shopping, or any of that normal "girl" stuff. Camping, skiing, skating, hiking, yes. Errr....is that OK?

For what it's worth, I don't remember doing a lot of that "girl" stuff with my mom (who as a pianist always kept her nails short anyway), and we ended up with a fine relationship. I do bake and cook with my kids -- all of them -- does that make up for my inadequacies as a "girl" Mom?

But nothing makes me happier than seeing my dear daughter write in her "What I Did On My Vacation" essay that she skiied with her mom. I think I can be forgiven for the lack of nail-polish for that!

2/26/13

2/24/13 home again....

Well, we had an unusually good pack-up this morning, pretty organized, and were out relatively hassle-free by 9:30. The packing is down to a science now, mostly. Car drives had been made easier with audio books, and a few backup sticker-dolly books for Katrina, and I find that chewing gum helps stave off sleepiness.

But I can still feel my blood pressure start to rise the closer we get to the Bay Area, as the numerous stresses and unhappinesses and longstanding lonelinesses creep back in.

This was not the way my life was supposed to be. Maybe I've been spoiled with a relatively charmed life with lots of successes and accomplishments and overall great relationships with friends and family -- yet none of that measures up to the devastation of my failed family.

I know the kids will survive it, everyone reminds me of that. Indeed I know their relationships with their parents individually is most important. So this isn't just about the kids, but me....and I had really really counted on raising them in that mysterious world of the intact family, living with them every day. I know that no family is ideal, and I'd already greatly adjusted my expectations -- every family has their challenges!

But in the end, I just could no longer do what was necessary to sustain the relationship. It wasn't even a choice I made -- it was more like being physically incapable, like doing 60 chinups in a row or flying. I just can't. It will be a long time before I stop beating up myself over that. I should have found a way to fly. Nothing meant more to me than raising my children in an intact family, nothing. I'd set aside my own individual happiness long ago -- it meant nothing compared to giving my children a complete family. I did absolutely everything I could for years, far beyond what I'd ever have imagined possible, to keep my family together, and it still failed.

As much as I absolutely hate being away from the kids more than 3 days, I wonder if the transitions are harder on me than them. I know it's bad for them too, but as an adult with some concept of continuity it's arguably worse for me, because I never feel like I get any momentum with them.

The kids and I had such a wonderful trip together, but for me the last day together is always deeply burdened by the upcoming days without them. I'm their mother, I should see my children every day. Maybe the silver lining here is that missing them is a good thing, that I appreciate their company more, but it doesn't really work that way with kids. "Quality Time" is a parent concept, it doesn't mean a kid feels like baking cookies together at a given moment. And I've never been a super hands-on sort of mom. I just like having them around, and with plenty of opportunity to interact randomly as things come up.

I don't want my deeply dysfunctional marriage back anymore than my former husband does, but the shattered dream of raising my children full-time is very very hard to get over for me. I hate that half my life is spent intensely missing them, not knowing who I am or why, what my purpose is. Without work, I'd be completely lost.

I know this will get better -- it's been such a short time. I know I take things very deeply to heart and feel things very intensely, but that works both ways. I'm naturally buoyant and resourceful, and have a lot of experience with coping, thinking things through, finding positives and new passions. I've already come a very long way in pulling out of this. But it's a tough road, and it runs with many tears.

2/24/13

2/23/13: Ski Week day 3: Diamond Girl!

Today was the day Katrina was all excited about: "You PROMISED me to do Steamers today, RIGHT?!"

Her brothers were discouraging though. "You can't handle moguls." "It's too steep for you." "You need to be more experienced." But Katrina was determined. "We'll warm up on 'Donner's Way,'" she declared (the intro-black-diamond she toasted yesterday) -- and then, Steamers."

Honestly, Steamers isn't all that hard -- Sugarbowl's intro-black-diamonds are mercifully short -- but it's no beginner terrain, and in bad conditions, it can suck.

Incredibly, we had a little dusting of snow last night! But more incredibly, it didn't to much to improve snow conditions. In fact, I thought today was icier than yesterday, despite the smattering of new snow.

Katrina went to a lesson this morning first, which the boys and I ran into. The first half-hour of group lessons is spent doing triage and separating kids, and boy, this one was packed. I was intrigued to see that for "Level 3" kids, Katrina was well at the top end of skill, even though she looks so much smaller than most.

But I'm really happy to see that she runs no risk of being on the Magic Carpet all day now.

Still, it's best for the lesson if the parent-paparazzi goes away, so the boys and I went back to Disney for a repeat of our fun the day before. I was out-of-sorts and so didn't feel any great need to try anything new, and the boys were quite happy to stick to the run "Donald Duck" and run-offs from there.

Gabriel is skiing so well now that I felt compelled to take video of him.

Julian of course headed to the trees and insisted of some more video of him blasting through the powder, with varying success.

I won no points for style today, but I'm glad that I can sorta-breeze down the easier groomed blacks at Sugarbowl now, at least in today's conditions.

I have a new system for lunch now: bringing our own, and stashing it in a knapsack in the lodge. I'm not the only one with this idea -- the fireplace is piled with lunch-knapsacks!

I really like this method -- having sandwiches and granola bars for the kids not only saves me tons of money, but it saves me a ton of time waiting on line for overpriced crummy food, and best of all, it saves me the drudgery of waitressing in ski boots. And the kids don't mind at all, especially if I bring some leftover dessert from last night!

After lunch, time to fulfill my promise to Katrina: Steamers! For some reason, she was determined to do this mogul-y black-diamond off Jerome -- an intro-black to be sure, but not the easiest. She came up with the plan to "warm up" on Donner's Way first today, where again I was so impressed -- look at these almost-parallel turns! She breezed her way down Donner's Way smiling and chatting, like it was nothing (with protective oldest brother in hot pursuit)

(Note that I called "Bomb It!" right at the end -- this is our new game of "Bomb Attack," in which someone calls "Bomb It!" and we all have to race to the end. Not clear what the rules of this game are exactly....!)

Next run: Steamers! Right next to Donner's way. This run is short, but mogul-y and uneven, and I was nervous about Katrina being able to take it, but she was absolutely insistent. To think, two days ago I was stunned and thrilled when Julian did it, and now I was telling him, "eh, whatever, just meet us at the bottom, I'm watching Katrina!"

And she toasted it. No fear, barely any hesitation, just a few times that she stopped and looked ahead, and then just did it. She did GREAT!! Honestly, she was more confident and consistent than Julian was the first day we did this so many times. I was floored! Nooo problem!

I just don't know how much pride I have left, with both my younger two children tackling a non-trivial black-diamond mogul run with relative ease -- and their oldest brother practically yawning at it! My goodness, Katrina's sure come far from being stuck on the Magic Carpet all day.

They're all skiing so so SO well -- it won't be long at all before I'll have no one to ski with myself. Katrina declared yesterday that when she's a grownup, she'd be an Expert, and I told her with total honesty, "You'll be that well before you're a grownup!" Really, she's just 6, and had no trouble at all with an ungroomed mogul-y black-diamond today. Wow!

We were planning a second run down Steamers, but Katrina took a nasty fall on the easy ridge run on the way. It happens; you get a lot of speed, catch an edge, boom. I arrived after the fact, and found her holding back tears as she was trying to reach for her skis and poles, and complained of her hand and head hurting. I did a quick triage, and she seemed OK physically, but she was upset -- and done. "Is this like what happened to Kate?" she asked through tears, about our friend who was far more seriously injured a few weeks ago. "No, you're fine, sweetie girl," I assured her. But I knew enough not to push a freaked-out kid. She is just 6 years old, after all. She's no complainer -- if she says she's done, she means it. So I told the boys to take one more run, then to meet us at the Den where we could all de-ski-gear ourselves and load the car.

She had smacked her head hard, even leaving a small blood spot in her helmet. I think the helmet helped more than hurt....? But it must have been a nasty fall. Another reminder of how easy it is for a day to turn around from total fun to (potentially) total disaster.

In theory, the boys can load the skis now. In practice, it still takes a lot of reminding and nagging and yes, yelling, to get them to actually do it, but at least they know how.

We headed home a little early, but overall, got in a full day. Totally worth it!

All the houses I've rented have their pros and cons, but I can't say this one is my favorite. It's a little far, it's clutter and cramped, and filled with foofy-smelling things, a ton of candles but very poor lighting overall. Still, all places have their plusses, and I loved my view from my bed in this one. Few things I like better in life than waking up to this view.

It seems just as we get things down to a science, it's time to go. Thank you, Ski Week! Another great experience and memory. I'm proud to say I think I've instilled a permanent love of snow and mountains in my children -- and if this ever matters to them in the future, they all have a good solid foundation in skiing!

2/23/13

2/22/13 Ski Week day 2: Disney Day!

Oh my, I think I've had the most fun skiing yesterday and today afternoon than I EVER have! With both my boys!

Yesterday we did 360s, moguls, trees, rollers..lots of laughing, showing off, playing together....Does it GET better than that? Time is so short...won't be long before my growing sons will have nothing to do with old Mom, so I'm determined the make the most of it now!

We really wanted to go to Mt Disney, and did so during Katrina's morning lesson. But it takes a few lifts to get there, and back, so 2 hours is gobbled up fast. Still, the one run we did had us hooked, and we had to go back after lunch.

I couldn't get an all-day ski school reservation for Katrina, so got the idea from another Mom (a French one who lives a few blocks away in Sunnyvale!) to put Katrina into a separate afternoon lesson. But Katrina was not happy about this plan, she wanted to ski with us after lunch. I persuaded her by promising hot chocolate, a taco for dinner, and that we'd do whatever she wanted to tomorrow, and she angrily agreed. "Oh FINE."

After lunch the boys and I took right off for Disney, and headed straight for the backside. We discovered "Donald Duck" to be groomed with just enough snow to keep it from being an ice-sliding traverse, with some fun ungroomed detours. This is wide and predictable, but it's still steep! Julian did GREAT. He gets himself freaked out sometimes, but handles it with courage and aplomb. (Nothing fazes Gabriel!)


Gabriel really nailed the 360 thing, way better than I can. Now he makes it a point of going around multiple times, and more impressively, he can do it on any terrain, like on Donald Duck. Not me! (Not yet! But I will!)

At the bottom of these runs were some "optional routes" through the trees, and you could always count on Julian finding his way there. He doesn't look very steady, but isn't afraid of falling and as discomombulated as he can seem, he makes his way through!

When it was time to head back, we tried a new run: "Nancy's Couloir" or "East Face" -- not sure which one it was. It's right next to the top of the Mt Disney lift and pretty much goes straight down, and it's groomed. It was steeper than I expected, but my Squaw lesson helped prepare me for that and I wasn't scared. Julian got himself psyched out, he needed to stop a lot (always on his rear end), but was never unsafe or out of control. Gabriel....well, Gabriel. Nothing fazes that kid! He loved it.

On our way back, we met up with Katrina's lesson. She'd forgiven me for putting her in it, and seemed to be doing great. She was right behind the instructor, and honestly though she's still very committed to the pizza-wedge, she actually looked like the strongest skiier in the group -- right behind the teacher, moving with confidence, able to change direction easily. It amazes me sometimes seeing my little, little girl just blasting along like there's nothing to it!

In fact, it looked like her teacher was going to take the group down Donner's Way, Sugarbowl's "intro" black-diamond, but the one boy in the class kept falling and the teacher thought better of it.


But Katrina was so excited about having done "half a black diamond" that she was dying to do it again! So after her lesson, she wanted to ski some more, and I said, OK, let's take you all the way down Donner's Way! I thought she could handle it. She was thrilled and couldn't WAIT.

First, Mom gets a precious picture! For once, they cooperated!

Katrina in front of her first black-diamond sign!

And here she goes! Really, very anticlimactic. She had no trouble with it, even though she's still doing mostly "pizza" in her skiing. She WILL learn, and she's been thinking a lot about what her instructors tell her, but it takes a while for that click moment to happen (like Gabriel and his 360s).

But she did GREAT -- no fear, no falling, no complaining -- she was actually chatting happily the whole time. She needs to lose the kid-pizza-wedge thing to advance to anything harder, but she's ready.

Julian joined us from "Steamers," the black-diamond mogul-y run we'd done yesterday, that's right next to Donner's Way, and I got a real treat of a photo: all 3 on the black diamond!

But now Katrina wants to do Steamers tomorrow!!

The easiest way back to the Den where our things were is to ride up a lift again, and work our way down Mt. Judah. This time, the boys didn't complain about having to wait for Katrina, there's not a lot of waiting anymore. Another year and she won't need lessons every time either.!

What a turnaround from the days of being stuck on the magic carpet all day! I just love skiing with the boys, and with Katrina's enthusiam and building skill, it won't be long before I'm no longer "ski-sitting" her either. WHAT FUN!!

2/22/2013

2/21/13 Ski Week day 1: Steamers Day!

We're back in Truckee!!

The kids have this week off, technically called "Recess" but everyone knows it's "Ski Week" -- including the ski resorts who jack the prices up to "holiday" rates.

Though I'm in a serious dearth of time-off of work, and in major crunches for numerous projects, I just couldn't pass up this opportunity to take the kids skiing without "sacrificing" school. (IMO missing a Friday afternoon is hardly a sacrifice but I sure get a lot of sh*t for it!). And anyone who knows me at all knows that I've always prioritized personal life over work -- including some former bosses! In the end, your health and your family matter far more than making that 6pm meeting.

So the kids and I arrived in Truckee super-late last night. I've learned that when we have a late arrival, not to push it in the morning, so this morning we hung out. Katrina went out to play in the snow while her brothers putzed around, but after a late breakfast we got to Sugarbowl for a half-day skiing, including an afternoon lesson for Katrina.

Katrina gets a ton out of lessons, but I also need her to take them because she really is just 6 and can't truly can't keep up with me and her brothers -- yet. I was thrilled that she had the same instructor that she's had twice before -- the same one who I begged to keep her off the bunny hill -- so I knew there was no chance she'd get stuck on short greens all day. Later today, she was filled with marvelous instruction to me, like about turning your inside heel to go parallel. I expect that this "problem" of her not keeping up will last at most another season.

A new development since our Squaw trip: I can really ski with Julian now, mostly. Gabriel and I can still envelope-push beyond what Julian can do, but now the boys and I are all within range enough that we can keep very entertained together. The only problem skiing with Julian is logistical -- will he follow instructions? But today he seemed committed, so I made an executive last-minute decision not to put him in an afternoon lesson, and to ski with him instead.

And boy am I happy I did. I had the best afternoon skiing I think I've ever had!

Aside from the snow being unexpectedly phenomenal, I had so much fun skiing with my sons. Once I found them, that is.

The way this works is, I have to send the boys on their way while I get Katrina set up and into her lesson. Both boys are set up with a "Core Pass" now, so I don't even need to mess with buying and attaching lift tickets for them -- I pay for their lift tickets the first time their passes are scanned at a lift. No waiting on line or attaching a sticker to a metal widget. It's a great system, and lets them ski for half an hour while I get Katrina checked into lessons and get myself geared up, plus it's so easy to tell them to stick to Mt Judah and its terrain parks -- no boredom there.

Katrina had a bad morning, but the moment we were on a lift on the way to her lesson, she said with her typical insight, "I feel so much better in the day as soon as I'm on the lift, Mommy!". Oh my, little girl, me too.... Sometimes it's astounding -- chilling, even -- how much like her Grandpa Jim (my father) she is.

After checking her into her lesson, I found her brothers on Mt Judah, and then we headed over to another lift to attempt some moguls. Our Squaw trip was all about icy moguls, and we thought it might be fun to try snowy moguls for once....! It had snowed a few days ago, and while it was only a sprinkling, it made a big difference in ski conditions.

So today we tackled "Steamers," an intro-black-diamond at Sugarbowl that is easier than most "double-blues" at Squaw. And it was great! What fun!!!!!!!

I was riveted by how Julian is skiing! He loves moguls, powder, trees, anything that is not..well, routine (sound familiar?!).

He often looks like he's about to fall over, but still, he's gotten so confident and aggressive, and he's developing some serious style. He's confident in a very different way than Gabriel, who never ever seems rattled and always has a solid brute-force approach, but Julian has real potential for finesse, despite his clambering. He just went for it, and I just love that! I was so impressed -- this opens up a whole world for me with him!

We also had SO much fun practicing 360s. Julian was doing better than Gabriel at first, but he's so inclined to clown around that he never quite finished a full rotation. Gabriel had one of those "ah-hah" click moments and totally gets it now. (apologies to Facebook followers who've already seen these).

Julian works on his 360s (he did a lot better than this video shows!)

Gabriel nails it!

Mine look mild by comparison, but I'm making it around!

(A few people have asked me why this is important as a skiier, and honestly, it never occurred to me to question this....seems like a good skill to have, and it's just fun!)

Unfortunately, Katrina in a 2-hr lesson means I have to pay close attention to time. When it was getting to be within half an hour of pickup time, we made our way over back to Mt Judah. Of course, we took the interesting route...!

On the way back, Gabriel and I had so much fun on the "roller" hills of the large-feature terrain parks -- so much that we snuck in another run even though I was overdue to pick up Katrina. He tried to explain that 'centrifugal force' was causing the feeling of heaviness on the way up a steep terrain-park-feature-hill (funny I thought was just gravity, but what do I know about physics) -- but I was too busy yelling "Woo-HOOOO!" to care!

This started off as an emotionally hard day, they always have (the whole alone-ness thing on adventures) -- but the worst, toughest, baddest day can be turned around by the total fun and challenge of skiing. A wonderful, and necessary, escape from my real life!.... Honestly I can watch the videos again and again and again -- I'm just SO PROUD of my sons!!

2/21/13