Julian's first T-ball practice today! I think I was looking forward to it more than he was.
First, a chase-the-coach warmup.
Next, practice running around the bases.
Some batting practice.
Sorry kids, when there's a baseballer in the family, there's a lot of waiting around.
"Uniforms" are a T-shirt and hat, but Julian (and Mom) were just as proud.
Julian's team is the Diamondbacks, and he wants to know the name of all their opponents. He had a great time today, and I was very impressed at the dedication and attention the coaches (all Dads) gave. I was actually envious of the team manager, running around with ten laughing kindergartners behind him. That is the stuff of life.
Fortunately for me, Dave took a day off work and took care of Gabriel's hockey lesson, allowing me to work later -- wee haw.
Unfortunately, Dave observed that the hockey lesson is really out of control: 29 kids today to one coach today, and of a huge range of age and skill -- that's bad. I think it's worth a complaint. Gabriel had a good time today anyway, and finally got to hit a puck. I asked him if he likes skating or skiing better, and he said excitedly and with no hesitation, "Skiing!" Skiing requires a lot less practice to go fast, though that stopping thing is a bigger problem.
I had to go to work today, even though I could have made a case to stay home. I saw a doctor this morning, who gave me drops for the eye infections, and said as long as my eyes are not actively discharging, I'm OK to go to work.
I notice how having to jump-start my voice creates odd social interactions though. I can't really say "hi," when I pass someone in the hall, I have to be physical to catch someone's attention, and I can't make the subtle little noises one makes in normal conversation. For the most part I can talk OK if I'm already gotten going, but I often found myself explaining an apparent slight when my attempt at a simple "mm-hmm" yielded silence. It's funny that people whisper back to me, even though I'm not whispering, and then they stop whispering when I explain I have no throat pain. There's a psychology master's thesis in there.
Right before we left for Truckee, I was able to pick up Katrina's "pony pictures." They were so funny I couldn't resist. Julian's were funny because of the costumes and poses. Katrina's are hilarious to me because of her reticent expression, except for the one actually on the pony. She clearly was not into the photos! But how CUTE is that. Irresistable.
This is bad...during my few breaks at work today, you know what I was doing? Looking around at other ski resorts to see what kind of ski schools they have, and if there are more beginner slopes than Sugarbowl had. I'm not ready to say I'm hooked exactly, and I never like anything involving crowds and lines, but...I keep thinking about it. (A real post with photos will happen!)
We left Truckee today at 10:30am, took a scenic route home including a leisurely lunch, and got home around 5pm. I'm not kidding when I say "scenic," because we drove all the way down Lake Tahoe.
More on all that later....I'm dying to write and blog about our trip, but time and illness preclude. I am really not feeling well, and now my eyes are goopy and the bronchial cough is kicking in. I should probably save the whole ski-trip experience for a single comprehensive post, but really, who is this blog for? It's my mind-purge -- you poor hapless readers are just along for the ride!
We manage this family -- barely -- using Google Calendar. All the appointments and obligations and activities just can't be tracked without it. And now, I have a new thing to add to the calendar: every 3 months: CHECK SHOES.
Four months ago, I posted about getting all the kids new shoes, two pairs each. At the time, I was getting the idea that 4 months was about as long as a pair of sneakers would last for the boys. They wear their shoes out much faster than even Katrina outgrows hers. But I didn't take that enough to heart, and I didn't check Julian's sneakers within that timeframe.
I should have. When we arrived in Truckee last weekend, I took a close look at his sneakers and discovered this. Long, long past usefulness. His jeans also had a hole in the knee (all but one pair of his do now), and then I found several holes in his "gently used" shirt to boot. Julian giggled when I called him a little street urchin.
But the shoes were really beyond the pale. I knew a seam had come undone on the top, but didn't realize they had shredded to this level. And sure enough, it's right on the 4-month mark.
Obviously, checking the condition of basics like shoes should probably happen before a big trip, though I was pretty consumed with checking the non-usual things, like boots, snow pants and goggles. I was really mortified when I realized that his shoes were in this condition, but I picked a good trip to make this mistake on: he didn't need these at all until we drove home today.
Though he did sort of need them. It'd have been nice not to have sock contact with the snow here. This is the last picture of him in those shoes. (I did mention "scenic" route, right? Emerald Bay on Lake Tahoe....wow.) (and he's wearing a size 4 hand-me-down jacket that the outer zipper is broken on...) (and he needs a haircut...) (poor kid!)
When we got home, I told Julian to throw his shoes in the garbage -- a huge treat for little boys. And then I pulled out a brand-new pair from the closet. At least I did something right.
I think the memory of logistical nightmares will fade, while the memory of the fun and excitement and challenge will remain. Car doors iced shut, clogged toilet this morning, unfamiliar gear (half our stuff had to have tags cut off) and unfamiliar routines (we bag-checked our mittens for instance), Katrina's intense and massive tantrums. I also lost my voice again and am in for weeks of an obnoxious cough. But I don't think we'll remember all that, beyond a chuckle here or there.
Today the kids did their second day of ski school, and all the advice we got about doing it two days in a row completely paid off. Katrina was reticent and timid the first day, and apparently much more cooperative and happy about "skeeting" today. I also took another "Level 3" lesson today, which really helped solidify what I'd learned yesterday.
I was floored when I ran into Julian's class in the lift line during my lesson -- we're on our way to an intermediate slope, what's he doing here?! It was his second run there, and I saw them there in the afternoon again too. Julian was still at the level at which his instructor skiied careful turns backward, facing him and instructing him the whole way, but he was doing far, far better than I'd expected. This included a steepish section that I never got comfortable with either -- how did he do that? Good for him!
So if Julian was doing so well on intermediate slopes, where was Gabriel? I finally ran into his class toward the end of the day, and his teacher looked at me and said, "he's a racer." Confident, competent, competitive, willing to try anything, and he wants to go fast. She added that he really likes jumps too. I asked if she thought I could take him down an intermediate slope (the point being that I'm still very shaky on those myself), and she scoffed and said, "oh yeah, he's fine." He'd been promoted to Level 3, and she added he was ready for poles. Just needs to remember to turn instead of barreling straight down the hill.
So after ski school, while Dave got Katrina and Julian (who'd gone down the same runs but needed a lot more help, which I'm not up to), I took Gabriel to the same intermediate slope I'd seen Julian on, and that my lessons had all been on. Sure enough, no fear, no hesitation, no problem. His technique is very rough; he looks like a kid who's just learned, but after taking some brief video and putting my camera away and getting my gloves back on, I couldn't catch him.
We did a second run in which I stayed with him, at first, but when it got steeper, I did a lot more turning to maintain control, and he didn't slow down at all. I had no prayer of keeping up with him. Partly, I'm slow deliberately -- I made sure never to lose control, and much like motorcycling, I noticed that my "technique" felt better when I wasn't trying to go fast. And I probably wasn't going any slower than when I was trying to go fast. But, no sense having an accident on that last run of the day trying to keep up with an 8-year-old.
Dave did a lot better than his one experience 15 years ago. He did two lessons yesterday, which was too much. His first lesson was a Level 1 lesson, and that was fine. The second lesson was a Level 2 lesson, but a hard Level 2 lesson that started out right away on an intermediate slope, and that wore him out. Today he took another Level 2 lesson, but stayed on the beginner slope and that worked much better for him. We had talked about skiing together somehow, but the beginner slope's lift line was far too long, and I had some exploring to do with my new Level 3 skills.
Actually, I dared myself to go up to the top of the mountain (the Mt Lincoln lift for those familiar with Sugarbowl), feeling confident that in the worst case, I could snowplow my way down the steepest sections. That turned out not to be true. By late afternoon, the snow was much icier and I wasn't used to that; and snowplow turning is too slow -- you spend too much time pointed straight downhill and it's too easy to lose control. Besides, I hadn't been snowplow turning since my first Level 1 lesson on Friday; I'm not exactly parallel but I'm past "pizza-frenchfries-pizza-frenchfries." I dug deep for all my courage and concentration to make it through the steepest sections -- technique was a distant third -- but didn't fall and manage to stay mostly in control the whole way. It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't satisying -- I was discouraged at how much bad "survival skiing" I was doing, but I never could have lived with myself if I hadn't even tried.
I was hoping I could do more skiing with someone, but Dave and I are too divergent in our skills, and it will only be a matter of another lesson or two before Gabriel completely blows me away. So much for this family skiing thing! But if not for family, I don't think we would even have tried it. I talked to many, many expert skiier parents who are having the time of their lives teaching their kids and skiing with them instead -- and their kids are quickly catching up. This is really the payoff for me with having kids; this is so much fun to do with them. Well, share with them anyway. If Gabriel's progress this weekend is any indication, I won't be doing it with them for long.
It's mid-March and ski season is nearing a close, but I'm sure this is something we'll do again.
Typing from Truckee....we're up here getting ready for our first big ski day tomorrow!
Somehow today the boys and I did a little "calibration" ski, with them doing a regular 2-hour lesson that comes with a rental/ski-lift package. I'm glad we did, it helped us sort out problems with gear and know how to be prepared for a whole day tomorrow. I also did a lesson, same lift/hill as the boys, and got to ski with them a little afterward. They're both doing great, though Julian needs a lot more supervision. I'd wait for him and help him down, with Gabriel long since having made his way down, then look up and discover Gabriel on the chair lift on his way back up again!
Katrina couldn't ski today (the lessons we did start at age 4), and she was SERIOUSLY P.O'd about having to leave the ski area after the boys and I were settled. Dave dealt with a massive tantrum until she fell asleep, and then lots of fussing and complaining the rest of the afternoon. She saw her first snow today though, and there's no going back. She is extremely adament about skating and skiing and all sports cold. We may turn into a winter-sport family yet, though in my heart I'll always be a water-sport person. Still, despite the incredible hassle and logistics of rentals and lessons today (the boys can't quite handle their skis), the actual skiing part was fun for me too. I'm glad I got re-acquainted with the basic Level 1 lesson I did today, I'll be ready for more tomorrow.
I'm told conditions don't get better than this for skiing itself -- it snowed on us all afternoon, making visibility very very poor and the drive back to our cabin harrowing. Fortunately, having ridden motorcycles with Dave and knowing how he is about driving and safety, I had complete confidence that we wouldn't go careening off our steep windy snowy road down a cliff or into a lake, and, we didn't.
Tomorrow is what they're calling a "powder day" -- we're going to get spoiled!
Usually I pre-prepare for a few days before a big trip, mostly to get the little annoying things out of the way. That leaves the big stuff, clothes and food, to focus on right before leaving. This time, I have almost everything to get ready for tomorrow, and a meeting with the landscaper tomorrow morning too. 'Cause, you know, when you're leaving at 3pm on a (for us) major trip, you have all kinds of time in the morning!
So what did I do tonight? Shopped. Worked. Did I pack, run around the house collecting stuff, make lists of things not to forget? Nope. I work better under pressure. Tomorrow will be the real test of that.
We're bringing a laptop, our cabin has Internet (so it says), so we might be in communicado. I might even post pictures...if I remember to bring my camera's cardreader.
It seems crazy, zooming out of work at 4:30 on the dot, calling the CDC on the way to ask them to get the boys ready, pick up the boys, zoom to the skating rink, get Gabriel dressed and ready, leave the boys there, zoom some more to get Katrina, the usual negotiations and cajoling to get her going, zooming back to the ice rink where most of the good parking is now gone, and then freeze while the class runs a full 15 minutes over its half-hour alloted time.
Such is the life of a hockey mom.
Maybe I should have been a soccer mom. I always swore I would never be a soccer mom, but little did I know about the hardships of a hockey mom.
Soccer moms are a lot warmer. Soccer moms also have a much more pleasant place to hang out and wait during practice, where their other children can play and not freeze while waiting. Soccer moms can chat with other moms instead of shouting over the awful acoustics at a noisy ice rink with the one or two dads who stay to watch. Soccer moms also don't risk getting whacked in the head constantly by hockey sticks with tens of kids wobbling around on skates waving said sticks in the staging area, and soccer moms don't need trunk-sized wheeled duffels and extra car-top carriers to get all the gear around. Soccer goalies especially are darned near naked compared to a hockey goalie.
And then there's the lipstick problem.
This is making me look forward to being a baseball mom, as baseball on the whole seems far more convenient and played in a far more agreeable setting.
Except for one thing. Hockey is just so darned fun.
Our skating practice last Saturday really paid off - Gabriel certainly earned himself a "most improved" award today. He wasn't blown away by the whole class this time -- not that that bothered him last week -- and he held his own in most of the exercises. He was skating well enough overall that he really got something out of the lesson, instead of scrambling to keep up the whole time. So far, most of the lesson is hockey skating, no stickhandling or puck yet, but they are getting used to skating with a stick in their hands. That counts.
Gabriel was confident and almost aggressive today about getting to the head of the line as best he could. Last week he was last for everything; this week he shoved ahead as much as he could.
(Hard to see him in this photo, but he's just under and to the left of the two kids whose black helmets are together, at the left edge of the purple pillar, about 6th from left starting from the coach.)
Hard to see him in this flood of kids, but it's a drastic difference from last week, as he's mid-pack. It's hard to pick him out, but it gives you an idea of what he's in (a kid trips right in front of him, he skates around -- look for the little kid in the blue jacket and jeans).
Gabriel had a few trips and falls today too, but it seemed everyone was falling around him. (They even practiced crossovers today, and for this Gabriel was actually prepared, as I've taught him basic crossovers and he's comfortable with the concept, though his execution is in its infancy.)
Another exercise: skate in a circle, pushing off with your outside foot. What a fun lesson, I wish I could do it too! Watching this now, it almost shocks me to see how well he's skating compared to just last week.
The only part he was way behind the group again was for the backward skating, something I haven't been able to teach him (no expert myself, but it's very easy to move backward on skates). He knew how to go a few feet, but this time he had to cross the whole rink. He did great the second time he went across.
I think he really enjoyed this lesson, and was pretty tired afterward too. Good! For me, the zooming around and being cold while waiting and having to deal with Katrina's fury over leaving the rink (again), the hassle -- entirely worth it. The feeling of beaming pride at watching my tenacious little son growing and learning by leaps and bounds in front of my eyes is an unmatchable reward.
And lucky me, I get to do it again soon for Julian. I only hope I like watching baseball as much.
And so, another Monday evening...homework done, children bathed and in bed, bare-bones laundry covered, lunches made and fridged, dinner consumed and cleaned up, floors swept, garbage taken out...now it's 9:15 and I've had it. I'm sure there are at least three or four emails that highly deserve an answer, but my head is too full and too fuzzy for it to pop up. It's nothing short of miraculous that I ordered 6 new pairs of jeans for Julian last night -- who all of a sudden has only one single pair of jeans without holes in the knees.
Apologies groupwide to all who deserve thanks or response...I hate always saying "I'm swamped!" 'cause everyone always says that. It's just my head that's swamped.
Silly me, trying to find things like mittens in March. The summer swimwear stuff is almost on clearance already! Well, leaving everything to the last minute, including the actual ski trip itself, is just like us. I knew I should have done this months ago, but of course that didn't happen. Maybe if I'd thought about the availability problem...ah well.
We went to REI today, which actually did have some stuff, but no kids' mittens or ski goggles. Julian also had a playdate; Gabriel and Dave did some soldering in the garage while Katrina played on her bicycle, and I went running. It's shocking how much effort and planning and decisions went into this apparently innocuous afternoon. Once again, we still didn't all get to the phone to call my mother, which I'm mortified about. Somehow, some way, tomorrow.
And now, some updates on yesterday.
I had to get the first-skate photo, despite the challenging circumstances. It was PACKED, and Dave was really shaky too, and embracing new challenges without complaint is not high on Katrina's list of qualities.
It took Dave a few laps around the rink to regain whatever comfort he had from the 13-week class we took together about 3 years ago, and able to confidently maneuver enough to hold Katrina's hand. That wasn't enough for Katrina though -- she had to have both of us on each side of her, and brothers don't count (they both gamely tried). I was really hoping to get some video of her first skating experience, but she got pretty mad every time I broke away. She also kept insisting on sitting down. I give her a pass, it was her first time on the ice, and the instability and slipperiness is a pretty big shock.
Fortunately, the boys are completely independent, except for lacing skates. Gear 'em up and send 'em off.
Julian had a great time, despite hockey skates (new to him) that we discovered later rubbed raw a nasty 1" square patch on his left ankle. Here he showed me his "trick" of turning around...sort of.
His pants were wring-out-able soaked later.
Gabriel, meantime, is gobbling up the ice and getting more and more confident and brave every time on the ice. He needs it, because his next hockey lesson is Tuesday!
It occurs to me watching these that he's establishing a lifetime of ability on the ice. He may never be a great skater, but even just a few years of learning at his age will always stick with him to some extent.
Now if only his ability to stop would catch up with his increasing ability to take off.
The boys together, though I didn't think Julian was skating as comfortably as he usually does. Now that I've seen the awful burn on his ankle, I know why, though he never complained. At the time, anyway. Tonight he was trying to make a case for why he should skip school tomorrow.
A parent taking video of her screaming tantruming toddler wreaking havoc and blocking narrow walkways at a crowded ice rink invites dirty looks and shame, but I had to get a few seconds of it anyway.
I wish my memory of Katrina's first ice-skating, and our first family skating outing, didn't include her outrage, tantrums, demands and insistence on sitting down on the ice and hundreds of times bending down to pick her up, but overall it's good. She really loved it. Still, I'm looking forward to when she can skate on her own so I can "play" with her the way I do with these two little characters.
We'll borrow the remaining missing gear, or buy it when in Truckee. It'd be ironic if our family got as hooked on skiing as we apparently are on skating -- winter sports in a summer climate.
Guess what we did today! The whole family! Katrina's face looked like that 75% of the time, and the other 25% it was lit up with gleeful joy. She loved skating, but on her own terms of course. It had to be with both her hands being held, either by me while I skated backward, or by me and Dad going forward. This was sort of a problem because Dad's skating is pretty shaky too. And I am done holding beginning skaters, I wanted to go play with the boys!!
Still, though Katrina departs from her brothers' persistence and gives up and screams angrily when she falls (the boys both just got right back up and kept going), her balance and ability to move her feet and skate was uncharacteristically good -- natural, even. I was really impressed! I've seen little evidence of natural athleticism in her, but she caught on to the actual skating part far faster than her brothers did. Her biggest obstacle was her immediate frustration and lack of confidence.
And hoo-boy did she throw a whopper about having to take her skates off when it was time to go. The tantrum lasted 40 minutes. Long after we were all home and settled in, she was still screaming "I WANT MY SKATES **ON** !!" Even though toward the end she kept insisting on sitting down. My back hurts, that reminds me.
More tomorrow on our first family skate, including other photos and some video of the boys. Once again on my mind today , we just didn't find a moment to call Bonne Maman about her birthday. Today is also my Dad's birthday, and I can imagine his delight if we called and sang to him too, if he could understand that anymore. I know he'd enjoy it, if we caught him awake enough.
Julian pulled out a piece of schoolwork today to show me: a "web" of George Washington: pictures of Washington connected to each other, including Mount Vernon and a dollar bill. "George Washington was the only President who never lived in the White House!" Julian informs with his usual eager sincerity.
He must be doing a unit on Presidents at school, because he's full of facts on President Lincoln, too. His respect for me quadrupled when I told him I'd been to Washington D.C., and he asked me again and again if I'd seen the Lincoln Memorial.
I just love how he gets on these learning kicks at school, he's so sincere and real about it. I wish I could take him to Washington D.C. for a weekend while it's still on his radar so it could really sink in. But I know there will be many other things like this.
What's REALLY on my mind today is my mother's birthday -- HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! SEVENTY, WOW!! My view of age has really changed, between my Mom and my Dad. I used to think 70 was old, but my vigorous mother has completely shattered that image. I used to think 77 was old (my father turns 77 tomorrow), but now I see that my father was robbed. When I see octogenerians shuffling along at Rancho San Antonio, I no longer turn my head and hope I never become that way -- instead I hope I do. I can think of no better way to spend my 80s than walking at one of my favorite places ever. I know my mother will be.
I really hoped to call her tonight with the kids, but it was too crazy and too late when I got them all home. Maybe tomorrow.
Julian announced tonight that there were now two people he would marry, both girls. Then he asked innocently if he could marry two people.
That reminds me of another conversation we had about a week ago, when Julian asked me: "Can two girls marry?" I gave him a slightly side-stepping, but honest, answer, along the lines of: "Marriage is in the heart -- it's when two people love each other and decide they want to be together for the rest of their lives. It means you start a new family together, even if it's just two people."
It came up again tonight, and I answered much the same thing. Julian listened intently with his wide-eyed expression, absorbing it all. Gabriel waited, then said insistently, "SO? What's the ANSWER?" He knew full well I was avoiding something.
I did go on to say that in many places, the government doesn't recognize marriage between two girls ("or two boys?" Julian asked too), but I restated that "marriage" exists between the two (or more) participants and their own families, communities, and churches if they belong. The government isn't on that list, though I recognize I can have that attitude because I can have my marriage recognized by government...I guess I might be annoyed if I couldn't.
Fortunately this conversation got too complex and they dropped it. Just as well, as by this time of day about the most I can handle is, "do fish live in the sea?" That reminds me, I got an earful tonight from Julian about whales, who, according to him, are different from fish because their tail action is up-and-down rather than side-to-side. I'd have said because whales are mammals, but actually, the tail thing is cooler.
Sure wish I knew where all this were coming from, but you know, kids say the darndest things. And I have Julian to prove it.
Gabriel's first hockey lesson had all the makings of a disaster today.
First, we were late. I tried, but a last-minute bathroom break, slow teenagers behind the counter at the skate shop, and unfamiliar gear made everything a last-minute scramble. He got on the ice juuust in time, but it was a real stretch.
Did I say "gear" ? We had the bare minimum, but everyone else had padding and proper gloves and probably knew how to put their own helmets on. And I can't believe how much harder it was to tie (rented) hockey skates than the regular old rentals.
Though this class is supposed to be Hockey 1, it turned out to be one coach for all levels. I counted 23 kids to the one coach, including several apparent high-schoolers. And all could skate pretty well. Except for one girl (you go girl!) Gabriel was the smallest and youngest, but he was also by far the poorest skater. The girl could skate!
Add to that the unfamiliarity of the helmet and carrying the stick, plus fresh ice (just Zamboni'd, ultra-smooth) and the first time on hockey skates with an actual edge. On the first scramble across the ice, Gabriel was immediately blown away by the rest of the class.
It actually put a lump in my throat to see my little boy struggling to keep up. I felt like I'd truly thrown him in the middle of a pond and said, "swim!" and now I was watching him flail for his life.
And so I did what any responsible, concerned, loving, caring mother would do.
I left.
I had to! I had to get Katrina. Julian wanted to stay and watch Gabriel, so I left him too, and rushed off to pick her up. That proved to be among the most stressful drives I've ever had. I couldn't quit thinking that I'd abandoned my boys at the ice rink, one of them wearing head and foot gear that he couldn't remove himself.
On top of it, at 5:30, the traffic is significantly worse than when I'm usually driving around. 10 minutes makes a big difference in Silicon Valley. Every light, every long line of cars, every delay made me increasingly anxious. I was a road rage accident waiting to happen.
Turns out, my rush wasn't necessary. Apparently the class goes to 6pm, despite the Web site saying 5:45pm. When I returned, both boys were, expectedly, just fine. Julian disapproved of the absence of a puck -- how can it be hockey without a puck? (good question) -- but the coach apparently had noticed Gabriel's handicap and gave him a few minutes of private instruction.
Gabriel always skated last and held up the class, so I hope they cotton on to the idea that maybe a teacher-to-student ration of 1:23, with an age range of 8-16, probably isn't the best.
Gabriel had the most enthusiastic cheering section though.
Regular readers know that Gabriel's strong personality, his nearly impenetrable thick skin, his iron will can make him pretty hard to live with sometimes. But it also pulls him through challenging situations like this. It just doesn't occur to him that he's the smallest and weakest skater. When he's the last skater in the whole group, he does everything he can to keep up. When he can't make it around a cone, he tries again. He doesn't crumble, he doesn't give up, he never cries. Not that any of this would be wrong -- he just doesn't do it.
And so, the lump in my throat turned from one of worry into one of pride, at the persistence and resilience of my firstborn tough little cookie.
He wasn't exactly bouncing off the walls about the experience, though. His head hurt from the helmet (a Dad told me it should be adjustable), and I think he expected to be able to actually play more. Indeed, the tremendous student:teacher ratio is daunting. But I think the next class, with most of the unknowns gone, will go a lot better for him.
His sister, on the other hand, wasn't so gracious about leaving the ice rink. "I HATE DINNER!" she loudly declared in answer to my explanation why we needed to go home, to the amusement of many surrounding parents. At home, she was bouncing off the walls herself, all excited about seeing skating and hockey and claiming she wants to do this too. Good!
And me...this was exactly the logistical insanity I was expecting, and then some (I'd underestimated the traffic). I can't wait for the first time one of Julian's T-ball games lands on the same day as Gabriel's hockey lesson. Then I will truly have arrived as Sports-Mom.
I don't have time for this. I don't have energy for this. I don't have stress-management measures for this.
It just can't fit in. My life is already overloaded, on the edge, overcapacity.
But I signed Gabriel up for hockey lessons today anyway.
And now there's clarity. Doing something fun with, and for, my burgeoning child isn't what's insane. Missing the best times of our lives together because of work would be insane. I hope I can keep sight of that when I'm tearing out of work early to launch into the pickup/dropoff logististical vortex that will be Tuesday nights for a while.
We watched the gold-medal Olympics hockey game this afternoon, the big rematch between USA and Canada. I wasn't sure who to root for, since four players on the Canadian roster play for the San Jose Sharks! But Team USA was in blue, Katrina' favorite color, so we rooted for them. It was an exciting game, though I had to go in and out for parts of it. I noticed that the boys lost interest when I wasn't there; seems my feeble ability to describe what's going on is needed.
After the game, Gabriel said again he wants to take hockey lessons, then asked if we could go skating. Ughhh, it was already 3:20 on Sunday, the cleaners are coming tomorrow, and I have a lot of cooking I'd planned to do (something I'm finding does ease the weekday burden). But at 3:40, I thought "what the heck!" and very impulsively gathered the boys and said, "let's go!" We're lucky that there's a skating rink less than 5 minutes from home, and they had a public session open until 4:30. I was in such a hurry I did something very rare for me: I left my camera behind.
We arrived just before 4, and they let us in for free (rentals too!). Cool! It was packed -- I have to guess with figure skaters who weren't concerned about hockey. Even though we only had half an hour, the boys had a GREAT time, to my delight. They both needed some time to warm up, but thank goodness, Julian was all into it this time -- it's always iffy with him -- and Gabriel was more confident and faster than I've ever seen him. I love taking them skating now that I don't have to hold onto them, and guiltily dread the inevitable period when I'll have to hold Katrina until she's off on her own.
Unfortunately the boys were bouncing off the walls and completely out of control when we got back. They were completely energized and being unbearably rude and physical and obnoxious, laughing at me when I told them to quit throwing or whatever undesirable behavior they were engaging in at the moment. They sure did enjoy themselves; half an hour just wasn't long enough to poop them out.
Once again, my working-parent guilt surges back strong. Hockey lessons for Gabriel...easy if I weren't working, though the conflict with Julian's T-ball would still exist. Parent-tot classes with Katrina...she's old enough for that now, and she says she'd like to skate, though I'm not sure she knows what that means.
And then there's the never knowing if we should be doing more with them on the weekends (since I can't during the week), or less (since they get so little time at home). I must remind myself that there's no shortage of guilt sources in parenting, working or not. Still, from this side of the fence where all the grass looks brown, it seems there are more chances to hit it right when you're not working.
This morning, I took Gabriel on a run. He hasn't been doing Running Club at school lately (in favor of going to the library and studying electronics books at lunch, the geek), but he still wants to enter the upcoming Big Bunny Fun Run. He's not in shape for it!
Also, my grand idea of having both boys in the same activity was a huge backfire -- they just can't be in the same class together. Last week at gymnastics, the boys pestered and messed around so much that it disrupted the class, and the coach was frustrated. Today was the last class, and I figured I'd give the coach a break, by giving Gabriel an attractive alternative.
It wasn't as much fun as I thought. He kept stopping, complained about things hurting, dragged along...we ran a short 2.5 mile route, with less success than our previous 4.5-mile run together. I observed with interest that he does better on the uphills, though the uphills tend to be first.
At the end, we ran into my friend Sonia, who had just completed a 15-mile training run. Fifteen miles! And not easy miles; to run that far at Rancho, you go on some long hills. She's training for the Big Sur Marathon. Still, I wasn't too blinded by admiration and envy to miss a photo-op, something Sonia is just as keen on as I am.
An errand this afternoon was to go to Dave's eyecare place to pick frames for his new "computer glasses." It was risky doing this with all three kids, but fortunately some Highlights magazines neutralized the boys. (Oh yeah that was another reason I took Gabriel running this morning, in the generally successful hopes of dimming his energy level today.)
Katrina, meantime, charmed the whole place with her enthusiastic sampling of colorful kids' frames, in a box within reach and (I believe!) intended for kids to try themselves. She had a great time running laps around the place (within reason, I kept a close eye on her), happily declaring, "I can very see now with these glasses!" Then she brought the house down, making all the women laugh with, "OK, time to go!....where's my bag?" She saw her pal Dylan at sleepover last night, and he has glasses now, so I suspect her interest in glasses was motivated partly by that. She sure looks cute though! (Note to self...she's approaching 3-1/2, time for a pediatrician checkup, which if I recall, includes her first eyesight check. She routinely spots far-away things though, no obvious signs of visual impairment.)
I cooked dinner tonight, even though the pull of frozen pizza was strong. One of my new favorite uber-simple dishes is a Steak Fiorentina: a simple sauteed steak served on a bed of greens with a lemon-oil-garlic dressing. Though the spinach mixture is a decidedly grownup flavor (strong garlic), Julian not only tries it, but I think he genuinely likes it. He'll sometimes eat "grownup food" just to show that he's willing to try -- which is great -- but he likes a lot of it too. Ah, if only all kids were like this. There would be no macaroni-and-cheese or chicken nuggets. Katrina still won't touch any non-processed meat, and my life is too complex to go cold turkey on hot dogs. Heck, I'd be happy if even Dave had as broad a palette as Julian!
(Sigh...I must resurrect my food blog. I've been cooking so many new things lately, I somehow don't have time to write about it.)
Next weekend, I'm going on a real run -- alone. I sure as heck can't keep up with Sonia anymore, and I'm sorry to say that it appears Gabriel can't keep up with me.
I actually have to work tonight. I feel like I'm betraying this computer.
FYI, in general I'm going to be .... well, careful about what I put in this blog about work, as it is a public blog. All workplaces have their pros and cons, and where work fits into my life and how I feel about it is a whole other set of pros and cons. Overall this situation has a trifecta of pros, hard to find in combo: a great manager, great coworkers, and interesting work. Add to that, a full-time full-salaried job as an engineer -- nothing to sniff at in this economy.
No Olympics for kids tonight; too much putzing/rudeness/trouble all around. I can't tell if Gabriel is sincere when he claims he doesn't know how rude it is to answer "OBVIOUSLY!" when I ask him if he's done setting the table. It's actually well within his super-literal self to be irritated at answering a question with a self-evident answer.
Not that we had one before, but whatever there was of a lawn is now gone! The rain let up and the landscapers started. Yay! Still, for once, I have only middling interest in the process and mostly look forward to it being done. That said, Dave chatted briefly with one of the workers, who commented, "we're not tearing up the driveway today." Uhhh--- there is no plan to tear up the driveway! He probably mis-spoke, but still, yikes. I have no room for major mistakes like that. And they're going to happen.
Watching the Winter Olympics is a bit of a challenge....the good stuff starts at 8pm, usually lights-off time. I've been letting the boys stay up until 8:30, but tonight all they could see on NBC was Nordic skiing between the commercials, instead of the flashy slalom between commercials. At least on CNBC they were able to watch commercials between hockey, which satisfied them.
But they probably still stayed up too late. Yet another bedtime fight, all too common. Julian makes some obnoxious provocative sounds, Gabriel climbs down out of his bunk and punches him in the face, right above his eye. Just what is one supposed to do about that?!
Maybe no Olympics for him tomorrow. Bummer, it'll all be past by then.
I had some unexpected -- but very very enthusiastic -- help with dinner tonight.
Unfortunately, my dear daughter thinks that all food is icy before it's cooked...and indeed, it was tonight -- my top survival strategy for working-school weeknights is freezer food from TJs. This is a big step above "TV dinners" of yore, but still.
Katrina insisted on sitting at the island tonight, and Gabriel moved to sit next to her. (Usually she's safely across from Dad at the table, with boys at the island at a good pester-free distance.) Big mistake. She gets so distracted she doesn't have dinner, and she makes a huge mess. But they sure do have fun together. (Why is it that it's the **3**-year-old who thinks better of touching tongues?! GEEZ Gabriel!)
These two really do love each other....it's almost like there's some special chemistry between them. Gee, in fact, there is, as they are genetically related. I don't mean to downplay their relationships with Julian -- he's the glue of the family -- but both Gabriel and Katrina experience more of a peer situation with him. You're going to play with your close-in-age sibling partly just because of stage-of-life proximity, but with a broader age difference, you don't get as much closeness for free; your personality alignment will show more. And these two are cut from the same cloth.
They all got to watch a little Winter Olympics tonight too. Frankly, I've been soft with all this TV-watching because, well, it's so much fun to watch Olympics with them.
Though we have a whole living room with a rug, pillows and furniture, to sit on, Katrina's spot of choice was, as usual, right next to a brother. So cute. She disapproved of a figure skater's fashion choice however, and petulantly pointed out that she should be wearing long sleeves. Sparkles are OK though.
The "skeeting" (skiing) is by far everyone's favorite (the really fast downhill and super G). Now they all know who Lindsay Vonn, Bode Miller and Julia Mancuso are. I wonder what they'll think of real skeeting in a few weeks.
Can't talk now, trying to catch up on Nebcom, Inc. taxes and forms and things to file and do and record and calculate. What a pain. Since I'm a "real" employee now, I'm going to dissolve Nebcom, Inc. Corporations in California don't go dormant -- they still have to file quarterly forms and pay California taxes -- a minimum of $800 a year -- even if they don't earn one red cent the whole year. Then I have to file corporate taxes, personal taxes, and Dad's taxes very very soon.
I must have something good to say about kids....not Gabriel, let's just fast-forward past his insolent, rude comments. Julian was brimming with new knowledge about Abraham Lincoln today, about how he and George Washington both fought for freedom, how Lincoln was shot while he was watching a play, and countless other things about him. Julian also got the privilege of doing his homework in my office, since Gabriel was pestering him, and Julian wanted to get right to work, undistracted, when he got home today. My serious little scholar.
It was a rainy day, I wasn't feeling well, and Dave had to work. What a perfect day to take all three kids shopping. yay. I'm quite certain I have the worst-behaved little boys in Silicon Valley, who just can't keep themselves from pushing, grabbing, running, tripping and fighting with each other for 5 minutes.
Still, I made a fast decision. We were there to look for a park bench, and this discounted floor model, already assembled and finished, is an inoffensive no-brainer.
Later I took Julian with me to a parent meeting for the T-ballers, which turned out to be to discuss volunteering. Listening to the descriptions of the help needed, I was trying to drum up enthusiasm for being "team parent" or somesuch, until he described assistant coaches. They don't run the team, but they facilitate the games, help with practices, keep kids moving along ("you're next!"). Now that sounds like fun.
But it's crazy to commit to that now. We're still adjusting to my full-time job status. Worst, what would I do with Katrina during the week? It's one thing for her to hang around the game if I can pay attention to her, but not if I'm there to help the coach who's running the game keep the players focused and moving. Not to mention having absolutely no experience with organized sports. Weekends, I think my curiosity and the fun appeal would overcome inexperience, but the logistics of weekdays is tricky.
Meantime, I want to sign Katrina up for morning soccer, and somehow sign Gabriel up for -- get this -- hockey! He says he wants to try hockey. Soccer too, but I'm not sure we can absorb another volunteer-only league. Throw money at the problem and sign him up for a class, I think.
I look back at my time with them as much younger toddlers, when Gabriel was 3 and Julian was 1, and how essential my being with them seemed. Logically I knew it wasn't, but it was hard to tear away, especially despite -- or perhaps because of -- the trouble we had with Gabriel. Oh, how naive I was. The tug to be with them now is much much stronger. I never would have guessed that then. I feel like we're entering the best time of our lives together, some of the most fun I'll ever have in my life. Playing hockey or baseball with them blows away Gymboree and park days -- though I did love Music Together, swimming, and making mom friends. It's hard to know in the beginning what type of mom you'll be, but getting my feet wet with T-ball confirms that I should have gotten my last work kinks out before, when they were young, and didn't really need me as much then even though it felt so much like they did.
We've been having fun watching the Winter Olympics too. The downhill skiing is the most popular, getting Gabriel psyched to try it himself. He thinks the Olympic skiers are going slowly?! JUST WAIT. I showed him the videos of some Las Madres friends -- younger girls -- skiing, and he was fascinated and very excited. I couldn't explain why they don't use poles yet (though I remember skiing pole-less as a little kid too), but we'll find out ourselves in a few weeks.
Babies and toddlers are really amazing, but little kids that you can play ball with and ski with and ice-skate with and play soccer with and hike and climb rocks with, and who go to the bathroom by themselves....that's the best.
Today we cleaned up our yards, moving hoses and toys and such, getting ready for demolition to start next week. I can't believe this is happening. After 10 years of a bare-bones useless huge yards, where an annual war against Mother Nature was waged every spring, they're going to be peaceful and pretty. I'm panicking about the cost, but when the cost is amortized across over a decade of near-neglect, it's pretty low.
After cleanup today, the boys played catch for a while until I confiscated their baseballs for (surprise) not listening -- they can only throw underhand and only out front where there are fewer windows to break, rules themselves quickly broken.
So they latched onto Katrina playing in the West yard, with her little purple ball. They all had a good time together for a while, both boys trying to "teach" her to catch, when mostly she wanted to run and goof around.
Since landscaping work is supposed to start next week, I took as many "Before" pictures as I could think of today. Good day for it, overcast and cloudy, great light.
Today (before):
Artistic conception of 10-12 weeks from now (after, sort of):
Before:
After:
I realize that trees won't always be flowering, and there will always be neighbors' houses in the background, and that an artist's concept drawing always makes things look way better than they will in real life. I know my sights are set too high and that I'm bound for some disappointment. I know I'm going to have many anxious moments about the cost, much stress about the implementation, panic moments about forgotten elements, and the usual buyer's remorse and wondering if you did the right thing. I know I must reconnect with reality.
But do I have to right away? For now, I am really really really happy about the idea of feeling pride instead of cringing every time I round the corner and see our house.
3 weeks done! I figured it would take 3 weeks to adjust to my new employment status. And many routines are in place, but we got a pass on this 3rd week, since the kids didn't have school.
I'm finding one of the biggest downsides to working is my greatly diminished enthusiasm to leave home. It used to be I needed to get away, now I need to be home. I just remembered, for instance, that I reserved a camping trip for Memorial Day weekend -- I'm only glad about that now, instead of jumping-for-joy ecstatic. Which I will be when the time comes, but any additional logistics feels crushing right now.
I signed a contract with the landscaper today though...!! Demolition starts next week. It will take at least 10 weeks (probably more, these things always do), but I'm very very excited about the idea of finally not having a major project glaring at me every time I pull into the driveway, for the first time in over 10 years. And unlike the interior of a house, the landscape can get better as it matures. I also worked out a space designated for a playset with the landscape designer today too. I can't believe how much I'm looking forward to that!
And now, I need to put PJs on, get a glass of port, and watch the Winter Olympics commercials with the kids for a while. 3's the charm, after all.
The kids have been allowed to watch some Winter Olympics, if they're completely ready for bed first. It helps that there's no school this week -- it takes so much pressure off.
The one thing I can't stand, and this time for new reasons, is the commercials. They take up so much time, and many of them are borderline inappropriate. I'm as big a Beyonce fan as the next tween, but it makes me uncomfortable seeing her act sexy (and few can do that as well as Beyonce) in front of my boys -- and my very impressionable little girl. It makes me cringe -- perhaps moreso because of what a prude I've become over the actual effect on my overall clueless children.
Some commercials aren't so bad though; there are a few tear-jerkers, like the one of Dan Janssen skating a victory lap holding his daughter Jane, named after his sister who died of cancer right as he was competing in speed skating in the last Olympics, and lost then. And the McD's commercial of the two parents racing to get their son french fries first is funny too. After a stellar effort, the Dad wins, but the kid says, "Thanks Mom!"
Complaining about commercials is as deeply instilled in the Olympics-watching tradition as the 5 rings, of course. The quality and quantity of commercials take on a new level of irritation -- and, to some extent, amusement -- when there are kids involved.
Katrina doesn't like watching hockey anymore, but when she does, she favors the team with red uniforms (China). They all love watching the half-pipe snowboarding, but have to be persuaded that long-haired competitors really are guys. I mused at Katrina claiming she didn't like cutie-pie 23-year-old redhead gold medalist Shaun White....she will!
Of course, my mind is on much more grownup things than racy dance outfits on pop stars and tousled snowboard dudes. I'm preoccupied with interior and exterior decoration, primarily our future landscaping. An artistic rendering of our future front yard: Grown-up yes, but the kids aren't forgotten: I'm looking into some sort of play structure, and have it on good authority from friends who have such things that kids get good use out of them. None of these friends have two boys close in age who tend to turn any object, fixed or mobile, soft or hard, heavy or light, long or short, into weapons however, and can't offer direct experience on the potential weapon value of swings. I have to think about that one.
And now, it's time for the men's figure skating. I can't miss that, though the commercials gave me plenty of time to update my blog.
It's time to sell Dave's motorcycle trailer. Would you buy this? It looks so cozy there, nestled among the weeds. Almost hidden, in fact. In a few months, that lush green and pretty yellow will turn to the harsh sharp brown that is most seasons in California.
(But not in this yard. Not this year. Another round of questions for the landscape designer (such as, we weren't planning on irrigating the yard where that trailer is), and we're closing in on a deal.)
Speaking of contrasting colors, today when I picked Katrina up from preschool her teacher asked, "Did she dress herself today?" Yup, like always -- and who are we to argue with an orange-striped shirt (Halloween) with white-and-red striped pants (Christmas). Add in the pretty rainbow silver-sequin-edged tutu, and we have a perfect color storm. The blue ponytail holder and the clunky white sneakers really makes it. She's almost up to a par with my fashion (non)sense!
I can't believe how much easier our days are when there's no school. Even though Dave and I are both working, and I haven't adjusted to full-time work yet, the lack of lunch-making, homework, and keeping track of a zillion things to sign, send in, and prepare for is a tremendous relief. (The boys are going to the CDC for spring recess "camp," and Katrina goes to TLC Preschool as normal.)
We even had time to watch some TV tonight. The boys asked about watching Winter Olympics, and I said OK, but they had to be completely ready for bed -- bath, brushed teeth, PJs. Julian wasted no time and started his own bath before 7:00 to meet this goal.
He wasn't all business though, there was time for silly bath games.
Julian was first, but all 3 got to watch some hockey (women's, China v. Finland) and men's singles figure skating. Katrina rooted for the red team (China). To my surprise, Gabriel preferred the individual figure skating over hockey. I silently enjoyed the stereotype-contradiction and acted like this is normal life: the men were dancing to music in glitzy costumes, while the women were knocking each other over.
The kids still had to get to bed on time, sort of -- a little later than on a school night, but not too much later since ironically, when there's no school, Dave and I can get to work earlier the next day. But it's nice to have a little leeway, and it was really fun watching hockey and figure skating with them. A nice treat!
In truth, my moment-to-moment life these days consists of my overwhelming, all-consuming, total, mind-boggling joy at the possibility of turning our property from the neighborhood pockmark into a little park. I am thrilled beyond expression at the idea of having our jungle disaster landscaped into a neat little slice of heaven. It's all I can think about, when my descendants allow.
(White blob on left is the garage, white blob at middle top is the house; surrounding green is planned, managed, thought-out plants instead of out-of-control weeds like now.)
I'm in daily contact with the landscape designer asking questions and making adjustments, and we will likely go forward and sign a contract this week. I can barely contain myself, it changes my entire view of living here. No projects are entirely hassle-free, but this seems so much easier than interior remodeling. And the payoff, both in terms of usability and home value, is tremendous.
By this summer, the tremendous thorn in my side that is our huge uncontrollable landscape; this source of relentless consternation, disappointment and pressure, could become my favorite part of living here. I can't wait.
