Well, I'm not fired, but I am fried. I'm taking a training class this week in which somehow I ended up the only student. I thought that'd make it easier, but in fact, it means absolutely no downtime at ALL. I feel seriously taxed and like every day is totally full.
But while I'm completely spent by 5pm, my other duties -- including work-related -- don't subside. To complicate matters, my wonderful employer needs me to refocus my work somewhat, away from what I'm training on now, away from my core skillset. It's the right thing, but it adds to my emotional and mental load: I have goals I'd wanted to accomplish, but now new ones have been added. This is a GREAT problem to have, especially considering my last job -- which seems more a joke as each month passes -- but I'm still wondering where the necessary extra energy cycles will come from.
The one good thing I have to say about the intense work this week -- from home -- is that during my rare minutes off, I can spend it wandering around my landscaping -- dare I call it "garden?". I fantasize about what to put where -- plants, rocks, logs, how it will look when it's grown, building a rock garden, placing a bridge, or a huge log. Every corner, every empty area is a potential planting space. I don't see it as a showpiece, it's a playspace, somewhere new to exercise my horribly underdeveloped artistic side. But it's living and breathing and growing -- every day, I'm rewarded with some subtle change: a new sprout, a new bud, and often, a new flower. It's so nice to have this as an escape from the crushing burden of balancing work, priorities, family, home, life.
And so goes my excuse and explanation for being so incommunicado lately!
4/25/12
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