Oh BOY is it funny to stand up in a shopping cart at Target when Mom's back is turned and Mom didn't know you can do that. And then do it over and over again, guffawing and giggling the whole way, especially as you're about to dive over the side, making so hard for Mom to shop that she ends up grabbing the wrong size Pull-Ups because she doesn't dare turn her head for more than a second and then making her grumble something about dialing a cell phone while driving being easier and safer than shopping during your stand-up routine. Yuk yuk!
But it's not funny at all to have the cart's strap put around your chest so can't do it anymore. Then you cry and scream your head off and make everyone stare and tsk-tsk under their breath about what a Bad Mother that sour-faced impatient old woman over there must be, so Mom has to carry you and push the cart with one hand and steer it with nudges from her foot until she gets tired of that and puts you back in the cart and then you just pop up to a stand all over again. Bonus: you're so distracting and annoying that she can't keep track of your brother either and holds up the checkout line while she looks for him and forgets things and you wriggle out of her arms and grab the cart and pull it onto her foot while she's trying to pay and you grab the pen and the card and punch the buttons and then Mom's hair and earrings and think that's especially funny and send her into a harried discombulated frantic tizzy.
All from a simple trip to Target! Imagine what you can do at Whole Foods now! Hee hee!
A regular Kathy Griffin, that one.
9/26/07
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