Tuesday, November 14, 2006

11/14/06 Julian's turn

A rough night last night. Average as far as baby-sleep goes, but bad because I so needed a great baby night to sleep off my fever. And no chance for a morning nap, since Katrina wasn't interested in one either. I do love my baby, but I'm not loving the baby experience right now.

I'd put Julian in Tonya's all day today, knowing I'd need some recovery time, but Tonya called at 10:45am. Julian's temp was 101!

I don't know what we'd do without Tonya. She picked up and kept Gabriel this afternoon so I didn't have to deal with the boys together, especially with one boy sick, me recovering (temp down, but still weak and woozy), and a no-nap baby. The boys are no trouble apart, but together, they're a disaster. This morning, despite Julian's looming fever, they got in trouble again, this time for throwing books.

Julian spent the afternoon watching PBS programs (we tape 3 hours of it on Sunday mornings) and sleeping on the couch.

Poor Katrina baby has to cry so much more than my first baby did, and I remember feeling bad about that for the second baby too. Though I know better intellectually, I still have some irrational attachment-parenting (AP) guilt about letting a baby cry. I've often said I could write an article about straddling the worlds of the alternative and traditional, and one thing I'd note is that I think there's more guilt to be had from the AP world. Today Julian needed some attention: medicine, dry clothes (he'd peed while asleep), hugs, and Katrina just had to scream furiously in the meantime. I guess Dr. Sears wouldn't hold me in too much contempt for that.

In fact, that brings up a conondrum. The Baby Whisperer technique says to put the baby down awake, but if he cries, pick him up, comfort him, and put him back down calm; repeat until baby falls asleep. But Katrina does the opposite: she bawls her head off while we're holding her and trying to comfort her, but then she'll calm down (much of the time) if we wrap her up, put her down, and give her the pacifier. Picking her up when she's crying is no panacea, there's rarely a moment of "ah, that's better, I'm in mommy's arms now." What's an AP-guilt mommy to do?

Another photo session today!

With a predictable end -- gotta love that pout!

Mom commented today that it seemed I am getting into dressing Katrina, despite my statements that my joy in having a girl has little to do with dressing her, prospects of shopping, doing her hair and all those girly things (though people continually assume that I must be thrilled about that after two boys).

But, I am having fun with these photo sessions, including, yes, dressing Katrina. Not because I want to put girl things on her (though the vast majority of her clothes are girly), but because of the artistic and experimental aspect of putting colors together, and having found a way I like of photographing a wiggly, floppy baby.

That said, I do like this whole new world of colors and patterns, especially flowers, but the appreciation is much like that of choosing fabrics or scrapbook papers. So far I like strong colors best on Katrina, including a bright strong pink.

More smiles from Katrina today, not at things, but in response to my smiling at her. Lots of limb flailing and more and more coo sounds at other things, like the toys on the bouncer.

Betsy has her C-section tomorrow! I'm glad to have a friend in the same exact boat I am. Well, sort of -- her first two kids are a lot different than mine. No less challenging, Gina especially is a pistol, but very different challenges. Regardless -- good luck Betsy, Betsy's baby boy, and the whole White family!

Drat, baby's awake again, crying hard, too hard to go to sleep, but nothing comforts her. She ate very recently, she's clean, she hasn't slept solidly since this afternoon, so she's got to be tired. Dave's rocking her to music to try to soothe her, but the way she's wailing you'd think he'd stuck her in a cold bath. Meantime, we don't want to overuse the pacifier either, as in my desperate attempts to get her to sleep last night I held it for her for a long time many, many times. I'd forgotten, this is one of the toughest thing about babies: the feeling of helplessness and just not knowing what to do!


No comments: