3/26/07 Bugs?

The delusions software engineers put themselves through after struggling for hours with a problem:

"It must be a compiler bug!"

"It can't be anything I did, I didn't touch that part of the code!"

"The check is in the mail!"

I swear the problems I'm having with TurboTax are bugs. It's not me, it can't be me, it must be a program bug, I didn't touch that part of the code, really!

I resent spending so much time on taxes. I have small children, for Pete's sake.

Katrina and naps....argh! After trying to get Katrina to go back to sleep for a decent nap this afternoon, by enduring half an hour of crying, futilely, I got her out of the crib with relief. She was red-faced and stressed and ticked off. I felt terrible. Minutes later, she beamed her beautiful happy smile at me, and then reached out to touch my face with both hands and an adorable little baby-gurgle sound. I felt even terribler.

I'm so conflicted. I really love this baby. But I'm not loving the baby life right now. I'm into little kids, not babies. So often, baby care conflicts with playing with little kids. Baby deserves better. Little kids deserve better. And me...I guess I get what I deserve.

3/26/07