5/6/08 The Variety

It won't stop. It's going to literally weigh on me for the rest of my life (ok, not literally, but it does feel like a 35-pound disk has been parked inside my brain). At this point the worst part is the relentlessly disturbed sleep. That's even worse than catching a glance at my new enemy, the mirror, and seeing a puffy-faced, strung-out, wasted former human being.

The price for a gallon of 87-octane regular gas at the most convenient gas station on the way home from work today was $4.22 a gallon.

This was no time to get depressed about money. I was on my way home to meet the first contractor to give us a bid.

Gas prices are not only high, but they seem to vary a lot now too. The station closest to home was selling gas for the much more "reasonable" $3.85 a gallon today. Things are looking up.

But I was in no shape to meet with a contractor. Our lives were about to be permanently altered (disruption, debt, distress), and here I was barely to put sentences together.

And indeed, my life was permanently altered. The contractor we greatly favor came in with a perfectly reasonable bid. I am beside myself. We're going through the formality of getting a second bid Thursday, but unless the second guy offers to do it for free, we're set on the meticulousness, thoroughness, professionalism and fabulous communication skills of the contractor we met with today.

Dave picked up our trio while I summoned every scrap of willpower -- nay, will to live -- I had left, and forced myself go running. I made the right call; it wasn't long before endorphins kicked in and the headache was momentarily on pause. Oh my, how I've missed running -- the immersion in nature, the rhythm of the movement, the clear thinking, the pure effort, the reunion with my soul. Energy and optimism and joy surged inside me, and I topped it off with a full-on all-out haul-ass sprint at the end, pushing so hard I felt like I was flying. There's just nothing better....though, finding a good contractor you really like is pretty darned close.

The pressure and strange feelings picked right back up when I got home, but I was too happy to see my dear children, without the drudgery of the hour-long pickups first. One dear child was the picture of sweetness and cooperation -- and yogurt. Katrina's insistence on feeding herself doesn't mix well with her refusal to wear bibs, but, I can live with this. Especially since: no tantrums today! Yay!

Maybe it's because she re-discovered this push-wagon. It keeps getting banished because her brothers wreak havoc with it, then she sees it semi-hidden and demands it and is thrilled to have it back. Since the last time she had it, she's grown enough that now she can reach the ground!

Somehow, her scraped nose from Sunday looks worse every day!


No tantrums, a good contractor, a local gas station with a "low" price...now all I need is a headache-free day.

5/6/08