4/25/09 The non-joiner

Dave took Katrina to gymnastics this morning, and reported with regret that it's really not fun. He wants it to be fun, it's always fun to have some one-on-one time, and she has moments of being fun in class. But mostly, she resists and refuses, partly from fear, but from what I saw, mostly just for the sake of it. She seems to be untroubled by peer pressure -- everyone else is hopping across the room, having a great time, but instead she'll stand and stare with her finger in her mouth.

This made me think -- all the activities I've taken her to, she's never really been into. Music was OK sometimes, but it was really touch-and-go, as she'd get into a State at any time. Swimming was a disaster. She's great at school and daycare, including the Y daycare, so maybe her stubbornness is all for our benefit.

Today at lunch, Katrina insisted on sitting on a chair in the dining room, at the table still covered in cloths and boys' craft projects. The rest of us were in the kitchen, where she too normally sits, but today, she wanted to be alone in the dining room as everyone else bantered and laughed together in another room. Thinking about her in gymnastics and pretty much every other group activity I've taken her to, then sitting alone at lunch, started to put it together. She's not antisocial -- daycare shows that -- but she definitely has some sort of strong streak that either makes her not care, or actively resist, joining in groups.

Tonight she was a serious grouch, and when she said she wanted to play outside, we practically shoved her out -- PLEASE! Play outside! And she did. She was outside by herself until past 8pm -- almost an hour -- when there were only a few last scraps of daylight, and only wearing a T-shirt. We couldn't believe how cold her arms were, but this never bothered her. She could have come in anytime, but playing outside, alone in the cold and dark, was what she wanted.

4/25/09