Unfortunately, the criteria I'd planned to use to decide if he could go -- which was his behavior in school -- was taken away by school being closed last week. It was too hard to come up with clear criteria at home, unless I gave him a specific job or something, which he could easily do and it would have no effect on his behavior.
With a normal kid, you can take something major away, and it'd have that magical "and they never did it again..." effect. That's never happened with Gabriel; applying consequences usually backfires and escalates. Seeing The Magic Flute would be a really nice thing for him to do, his behavior has been OK -- not great, but OK -- and due to our recent discombobulation with Dave being away and school being out, we haven't been crystal-clear on how he can "earn" back this privilege, if there is such a thing.
So we decided to let him go after all, but his permission slip will be something of a contract. Tomorrow morning, he has to sign this before we will. I don't know how much good it will do, but at least his teachers will know that we're 99% woos's instead of 100%.
I, _____________________________________, promise to behave and listen to the teachers and volunteer parents on today’s field trip. This includes, but is not limited to: No rude noises, no unacceptable words, no out-of-turn talking, no running away from the group, no requiring extra attention. I will do as requested without being told more than once.
I understand and agree that any reports of less than PERFECT behavior on this field trip will result in:
1) The loss of allowance for TWO weeks
2) No computer game time for TWO weeks
3) No dessert for ONE week
4) Folding and putting away my sister’s laundry for TWO weekends.
I promise I will be good today on today’s field trip to Montalvo Arts Center.
I give permission for my child, Gabriel Doudna, to go on the field trip to Montalvo Arts Center today April 20, 2010, as he has agreed to cooperate with teachers and parents this time.
Someday, maybe, the school year won't start off with us warning the teacher about his iron-clad personality, that he doesn't respond to discipline or consequences or reprimands like regular kids, and that we'll be in touch frequently about behavior, that....and it won't end with the teacher saying carefully, "wow...you were right..."