9/22/2011 Mom's here!

My mom's here for a 5-day visit during my between-job purgatory. Yay! Gabriel went with me to the airport to pick her up, that's always fun. He's been so full of joyful energy lately.

Unfortunately being parents to Julian has been less rewarding. His teacher is so frustrated with his behavior in class -- and that's after me pulling out all the stops and investing a ton of energy in not tolerating even the slighest indiscretion at home -- that's she's requesting help from the school district's counselor, and calling a team meeting thing to evaluate him. We've been through this with Gabriel and in some ways it's harder with Julian because he's always been pretty good -- no odd behaviors, no flags for "the spectrum," no developmental delays. He's just....well, dawdly and full of excuses, but he's becoming more and more impossible in class.

Katrina...she's been great lately. I'm still reeling from a horrible nightmare I had two mornings ago, in which she'd died and I was first facing the world without this bright light, this joyful pixie bursting with ideas and observations and life. I was absolutely devastated, and woke up very much in that "place." I can't express how relieved I was when I realized it was just a bad dream and that in fact my little girl was quite alive in the next room. I was very upset all day, and even today somewhat as well. It's as though she was taken away from me and I was granted her back.

One thing that comes to mind with all this emotional turmoil is: I need a job! I'm glad I have this time off, and I'm making good use of it, but I sure need some emotional stability in my day!

All in due time -- first, my Mom is here!

9/22/2011