Even though we did some truly drudgerous things Saturday (shopping for entry doors, trying to replace my dead cell phone at an AT&T store), we did a good amount of nuthin' too. When Dave and I first moved into our house, one of my favorite times with him was weekend afternoons, when we just hung around together, did things around the house or garage (after we built one that is), and were generally active, but also relaxed. Somehow, we unwittingly recaptured that same happy-hangin' feeling on Saturday.
The boys were completely absorbed watching some tree trimmers we hired to do some mega-pruning of our neighbors' redwoods. This is a serious job; the coast redwood in our neighbors' yard (brought here and planted by the man who built our house, but subdivisions didn't leave the tree in our yard) is pretty tall. It's had some dead branches in our view since we've moved here, and I'm thrilled they're gone. Except that now our neighbors' huge antenna is the chief eyesore (he's very proud of the fact they don't pay for cable).
Hmm, the before and after photos don't do the improvement justice:
Julian kept an eye on things, while the tree trimmer guy good-naturedly accepted his direction and supervision ("that machine is too loud!"). He was under strict orders to stay on the deck, because the branches coming down were big, heavy and really friggin' dangerous.
Katrina always welcomes a chance to go out, despite some unwelcome "help" from Julian. I probably talk more about Gabriel's affection for Katrina than Julian's, and it's different since he's older, but Julian also adores her and showers her with (too much) attention. I guess I just expected that more from Julian.
I don't know what's ailing my stomach, but it's reminiscent of pregnancy days, when it was irritated and bloated and painful all the time. As a result, I was up much of the night and was very tired today. I really resented that, because I was looking forward to another relaxed day with all 3 by myself (believe it or not!). Dave went on a motorcycle ride today, something I encourage him strongly to do and wish he'd do more often. I'm more happy for him than envious that he got to ride a longtime standby route of Mount Hamilton, Mines and (my favorite) Calavaras Roads.
A day of all three on my own wouldn't be complete without going to the Y, so our day started there. Then, Trader Joe's for some much-overdue grocery-shopping, and a stop by Stacey's house for some lemons. I'd had visions of going to a park, but of course, that's overcommitting and everyone was ready for some downtime at home.
When we got home, I kicked into full gear: kitchen cleanup, fridge organizing and purging, grocery unpacking, kids' lunches, fruit rotation, lemon arranging (the most important and fun part). A full hour and a half of getting things under control.
(As a side note, my freezers (yes, freezer*S*, I'm spoiled) are getting too full because I'm not cooking as much now. Does that sound backward or what! But, since I only make it to TJs' once every week or two, I figure I've got to stock up, I lose track of what we have, I haven't a prayer of a coherent meal plan, and I end up replicating some items and being short on others. It's much easier to keep a trim, efficient pantry and freezer when you're shopping 3-4 times a week as I had been when I was a happy housewife.)
Katrina held out until I was done, at which point I put her down for a nap, and prepared for a much-needed one myself.
(Another aside: THANK GOD all I have to do to "put her down" is literally to put her down -- just her satin sucking blankie and she's happy as a baby clam.)
Now, can a Mom take a much-needed nap when she has 4 and 6 year old boys -- brothers, no less -- alone together? Incredibly, yes. This is what they did while I was trying to restore myself: build a "garage" for Gabriel's Lego crane.
I'm not sure, but from things other moms relate, I think I'm in the minority in being able to tune out with a 4-year-old around. 6-year-old, sure, but 4 is borderline. In Julian's case, it's much about having an older brother, but he too has a remarkable attention span for his age.
How is it my boys -- and so far, my girl too -- play so well on their own, and don't require much interaction from me, and even reject it sometimes when I try to join in? Who trained who? Some of the stage was set by the intensity and focus Gabriel was born with. He had an astounding attention span from very early on; I'm certain we had nothing to do with that. (I have to disclaim credit and blame for much of how Gabriel is!)
But did it acclimate me to being hands-off, so that when Julian came around, our family was already in the habit of kids playing for 30-40 minutes on their own? Or is Julian wired that way too? Or, how much of Julian's hands-off-ness is because of Gabriel?
Julian is much more impressionable by nature, but there's always been more in his life to impress him. Julian always had Gabriel; he didn't need Mom as much for amusement. Indeed, Julian's life will always be heavily influenced by having an older brother, and a strong older brother at that. Julian wants to do what Gabriel does, he tries to join in Gabriel's play, and often watches as Gabriel goes about some project. Julian especially wants to go to Collins. When Gabriel was Julian's age, he had no idea kindergarten existed. Julian knows very well what kindergarten is and wants to do it too. Julian's life is far more influenced by having Gabriel in it than Gabriel's is by having Julian. How much of that is being the secondborn, and how much of that is having a more impressionable, open personality?
I get another data point from Katrina, a strong personality that's not the firstborn. Then again, she doesn't have the same sort of older-brother influence in her life as Julian does. Her life isn't as nearly as intertwined to a sibling as Gabriels' and Julians' lives are, partly due to an additional 10-month age difference, but mostly because her brothers have each other. If Julian were her only older brother, the dynamic between Katrina and Julian would be completely different (perhaps much like that of her cousins Aidan and Remi, who share the exact same age difference as Julian and Katrina). If she's less interested in trying to be like her older brother than Julian, it's hard to tell if that's because she has two older brothers and they have each other, or if that's just her personality. (It's very hard to imagine Gabriel being heavily influenced by an older sibling if he had one.)
Besides, while she has many of Gabriel's strong personality characteristics, they're hardly clones. She does cry if scolded, she doesn't cuddle, she makes far more effort at verbal communication, she's not as physical or athletic, her fine motor skills and usage of them in her play are much more developed than his were at this age.
I'm not sure why I find all this so interesting! And I sincerely doubt you do!
What does this have to do with the fact that I got to take a nap today while my boys played downstairs together? Well, it all winds back to: how is it that they're so independent? Did I raise them or did they (moreso Gabriel) raise me?
And what will I do if I'm all wrong and Katrina turns into a mommy-hanger-on-er who wants to yip-yap-yakkity-yak about princesses all day? Gah! Though, as all the text above demonstrates, maybe I need a kindred spirit in yip-yap-yakkity-yak.
Oh no, here comes Monday.
3/2/08
No comments:
Post a Comment