But last night, while looking for some sandals on www.shoes.com that I'd seen in a print catalog, I came across a similar pair I liked better....on sale...and available only in my size. The antithesis to the World-Wide Conspiracy Against Size 6-1/2! Now if that's not a sign, I don't know what is!
Naturally, I bought them.
Last night, I was woken up by an intense sharp headache. After an hour of minute-by-minute suffering, I tried taking some tylenol with codeine, to no avail. Lying down was excruciating, so I got up and worked on our taxes until after 4am, went to bed, but still couldn't get to sleep. I gave up at 7:15am, got up, took Katrina to Melissa's and went to work, knowing I'd crash and burn, but the pain screaming in my head forbade sleep. I stuck it out at work until 12:30pm, feeling like my effort was nothing short of heroic.
This isn't typical of migraines, as it was only pain, without all the other weird symptoms at first, but now they've appeared. It's so weird to look at myself: I look so strung-out, exhausted, dragged through the mud, lethargic. Yet inside is a raging wildfire, sirens screaming, the air thick with panic. This is the sort of thing that sends people to emergency rooms. Turn up the dial, and I'll be there too. It's one of the worst I've ever had. I'm on my second dose of Prontalgine, the over-the-counter headache medicine from France, and it's helping a little, but I'm still a wired-tired disaster.
(At least last night I got a little done on our taxes, and more importantly, resolved a burning question. The movie "Ocean's Eleven" was on TV -- a regular hunkfest -- and I got to see George Clooney and Brad Pitt side-by-side. No doubt about it. Clooney takes it, easy.)
Then, while at work, running on overdrive, I did a little idle Googling about my ongoing ankle troubles. And I found it. I know what it is! It's the foot equivalent to carpal tunnel syndrome, called tarsal tunnel syndrome. Compression of the posterior tibialis nerve -- the same muscle that had the tendonitis. It's gotten to the point that if I sit for even an hour, the bottoms of my feet start to tingle. The bad news is, there's no easy fix, but since it keeps getting worse, there might actually be something compressing the nerve that can be solved. Or maybe I literally need to get off my butt more!
I hadn't filled the Topamax prescription because I'm really reluctant to take a drug on a regular basis when I can overall function in life -- both in terms of migraines and nerve trouble, both of which the Topamax would address. But in the same day, I'm slammed with one of the worst headaches I've had in months, and I uncover the ankle mystery.
It must be fate.
I filled the Topamax prescription.
When I'm reeling from a headache pain and blue about ankle troubles, I find my dear children to be a source of comfort. Maybe that's just because they've all been pretty good lately, but even when they act up, I can put it in perspective and see it as a sign of health and normal reaching out into the world. Katrina is the biggest wildcard, but she's been so funny and adorable and even sweet these past few days. She's still very insistent about things going her way, but is more tolerant of setbacks now. I love it when she sees me, and a huge smile breaks across her face, and she toddles over to me as fast as her clumsy feet can take her, arms widespread. Now if only she could learn to complete the motion and actually hug!
She loves to go outside, and asks by saying repeatedly, "sie? sie?" I hate saying no, but I have to make dinner and can't keep an eye on her out there! Our redesigned downstairs, and a little more maturity on her part, will solve that soon.
I find it intriguing that while her vocabulary isn't huge, she uses words in context, and as verbs or commands. Even Julian at this age I think mostly said only nouns. Katrina will say "sih?" to mean "put me here to sit," or "you sit," or "I'm going to sit." Then she'll bring Julian's shoes to him, saying "sue? sue?" then, "sie? sie?" I'm not sure if she's asking him if he wants to go outside, or suggesting to him he should go!
There could be potential in that situation for Julian to get possessive about his shoes, or get annoyed that she's shoving them in his face when he's trying to lie down, but there never is. Even when Katrina gets into Gabriel's carefully laid-out Lego project, he's very patient with her, and often just lets her play with him. The boys are so loving and nurturing to their little sister that it almost shoves out the feeling of doom from this terrible brutal headache. I'm exhausted from battling it all day, but I'll go to sleep (with help, I'm afraid) smiling about Julian making Katrina laugh, or Gabriel stopping to kiss her when she's in the high chair having dinner, and how they so good-naturedly accept her screeching and shoving them aside when she wants something.
Sibling harmony -- almost an oxymoron -- so rewarding! And to think, we weren't going to have a 3rd. It must be fa...nahhh.
3/31/08
1 comment:
That is such a beautiful picture of Katrina. She's so adorable!
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