Sunday, April 03, 2011

4/3/2011 Y day

The only place we went and only thing we did today was go to the Y. I was going to let Gabriel stay home, but he decided to join at the last minute.

Rare chance to get all 3 in a photo, but only with the promise of fresh cinnamon rolls when we got home! (I'd made them last night and had them ready to bake.)

The rest of the day was spent cleaning up around the house and garage, in and out of the house. Gabriel is on a sudden archery kick, and made a bow out of a pencil and a rubber band, and an arrow out of another pencil. Julian followed suit and they spent a lot of time trying to poke through some newspapers they taped up as a target. I think that counts as plain old-fashioned childhood fun being creative with basic resources!

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I'm even more upset today than yesterday about the creepy, evil experience of having a complete imbecile condescend to me and forgive me oh so understandingly about my previous insubordination and disrespect and poor work, and for thinking that he's "turned me around." I hate how it feels to act a lie, it feels dirty and disgusting and totally wrong, but there was no way to state the truth without causing a tremendous confrontation, one which I wasn't prepared for and would be sure to lose. So now I have to do yet more pretending and lying tomorrow just by not throwing up in his presence.

But at least I got started on my resume this weekend. Tempting as it is, I'm not just going to walk out, as that's unprofessional and puts a burden on my coworkers. I have a few small projects to finish and I'll plan my 2-week notice -- with a several detailed letters to the upper management in hand. Such a shame, I really like my coworkers and like the work itself -- I like almost everything about this situation except this one major malevolent element. The stress and internal conflict are too great though -- the emotional energy and depression of this weekend clearly indicate that. My job does not include being insulted or lying.


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