The Southern Lumber trip involved all five of us in two vehicles, and we had to cut it short due to Fussy Baby.
The Home Depot trip was to get things we had to bail on at Southern Lumber, and I didn't really want to go, but the alternative was staying at home with...guess who: Fussy Baby! Julian's screeching before his nap woke her up prematurely. Argh! He was being such a royal pain, there was no way we were going to bail on Julian's nap today.
Katrina got her first ride in the pickup truck. She loved it! Mostly, because she was sitting right next to me and we could smile at each other at stop lights.
Despite numerous obstacles, I was determined to get all the materials needed for a closet upgrade today at Home Depot. I was buying heavy shelving material, and had to push a lumber cart and the stroller together (well, push one and pull the other), get the lumber cut, load it into the pickup, finagle the seatbelt to hold the infant seat in place....a real pain. But nothing compared to the gigantic line in front of the one, yes, ONE, open cashier. I even flagged an employee to point out this inadequacy, and he said he'd tell a manager. 10 minutes later, bouncing an increasingly grouchy baby around, we were still on line. Unbelievable.
Unfortunately, I get these great ideas, spend a lot of money and time getting started on a project, then lose momentum on it from being forced to work on it in tiny scraps of unpredictable time. I'm actually envious of Dave getting to complete a task this afternoon (weed-whacking our out-of-control dandelion forest). If I could reliably dedicate several chunks of hours to a project, and work on it when I feel like it, I might actually complete a project when it's still fresh. And I'd be happy about that. I guess baby life is all about missed opportunity. I miss a lot of opportunities to make myself happy doing little things, even unimportant ones. It's not just getting things done, but rather, the sense of accomplishment that I miss.
But there's always a silver lining, and tonight, I found that. OK, so I can't spend all day tomorrow tearing out this closet. But tonight, I managed to squeeze in a run at Rancho San Antonio, and that completely improved my outlook on life. It puts me back in touch with me again. I almost feel empowered by thinking that I have three children, rather than overwhelmed and inadequate like I do most of the time. Maybe it's runner's high, or maybe it's knowing that they're in bed. Either way, it's a good feeling. For a few minutes, anyway.
4/28/07
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